Simple Swedish Podcast - 266 - "MEAT PLANET"

Episode Date: December 30, 2020

Meat Planet 1, Meat Planet 2 - Meatier and More Planetlike, Spyhole, Intravenous Eating, One Orgasm Theory, Alien Orgasm, KinderguaranteeGet Magma here: https://sospresents.com/programs/magmaHey, why not listen to Al's meditation/comedy podcast ShusherDon't forget TITTT Merch is now available on Red Bubble. Head over here and grab yourselves some swag....and you can support the pod by chipping in to our patreon here (thank you!)Two in the Think Tank is a part of the Planet Broadcasting family You can find us on twitter at @twointankAndy Matthews: @stupidoldandyAlasdair Tremblay-Birchall: @alasdairtb and instaAnd you can find us on the Facebook right hereSucculent Chinese thanks to George for producing this episode. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This episode is brought to you by Progressive. Most of you aren't just listening right now. You're driving, cleaning, and even exercising. But what if you could be saving money by switching to Progressive? Drivers who save by switching save nearly $750 on average, and auto customers qualify for an average of seven discounts. Multitask right now. Quote today at Progressive.com.

Progressive casualty and trans company in affiliates, National Average 12 Month Savings of $744 by New Customer Surveyed, who saved with progressive between June 2022 and May 2023. Potential Savings will vary. Discount's not available in all safe and situations. visit planetbroadcasting.com for more. J. J. J. J. J. I don't like it anyway, but I was like, oh, there's, I'm like, yeah, yeah, I got, no, that's not where he's putting his thoughts, that's not where he's ending his thing. Bucket.

You know what's the hardest part of this podcast? It's not, it's not doing the singing at the start. The hardest part is saying your name straight afterwards. So there's no ambiguity about who's responsible for straight away. They can identify each voice. My name is Andy Matthews and I endorse this jingle. Alistair everyone, this is the last podcast of the year. And the year is 2020, depending on when you're listening to this.

Maybe you started this. Maybe you just started this podcast and it's the year 2030. And somehow podcasts servers are still running. You know, and the rest of the world is burnt to the ground. Bought to fly. Yes. But you started it and I want you to know we're still doing well. I'm in Tathra and New South Wales at the moment and we're in between heavy fire seasons and there's a chance that this year when I'm visiting my parents, I'm in Tathra, New South Wales at the moment, and we're in between heavy fire seasons,

and there's a chance that this year, when I'm visiting my parents, I won't have to flee and evacuate an oncoming bushfire. And these were the good years. Yeah, the off years. You have an on again, off again, fleeing season. And this is the L-Flino. No, I'm sorry.

L-Flino is no fl- Can we start again? You really want to start again? No, I don't. Okay, great. No, I don't. It's just my get out of my great L-L-Nino, L-Flino. L-Flino.

Oh, if I get the Nino, Flino, now. Yeah Flee No. Oh, I get the Nino, Flee No, No. Yeah, I knew it was related in some way. Oh, God. Oh, God. Um, El Este, before the podcast, just to give you, you know, the listeners, um, just reassurance that we have very similar conversations when we're not recording. We were talking about an ecosystem if we could get rid of plants entirely. Or if I could choose to be some sort of higher level carnivore where I narrow down some sort of section of the food chain, where I only eat things that where plants

are not involved. And I think that's possible, sorry, I don't understand. I think that is possible if you can trace things back so you get back to an animal that only eats fungus, is that fair to say? Right? Is that fair to say? Right. Yeah, I think what you're describing is a carnivorous creature that is so carnivorous, that as it walks around, it even pulls out plants by the roots, right?

And eliminates the whole flora ecosystem and creates systems, you know, it creates new hierarchies. And in a way, it's because you know, these these animals aren't, you know, they're not crazy abundant. So they're, they're easing the environment into... I full mate-based. Full mate-based thing like that. And so they're removing plants and quickly creatures have to find a meat alternative. And I'm not talking, I'm not talking faux duck. Right. I don't think they have to move to real, real duck.

I guess. I guess. It's really interesting to me as a movie concept. But I, you know, a movie concept in which, because you deal a lot in movies with the death of animal life. Right? I feel like, you know, in one form or another, like, diseases that ravage animals. They love a movie that warns us of the oncoming ecological disasters

that we're creating ourselves. Yes, but my one, Alistair, is all plants die, okay? And then it's just a meat planet. That's the name of the movie. The movie's called meat planet. Love it already. That's going to sell some tickets, Andy. Well, plants don't just die.

They crumble to ash instantaneously. Something happens to the structure of cellulose, and it's just gone. It's just dust. Now, you can't touch it. And then all it is, it's just animals on the planet. That's all that's left. And the ones that are the omnivores,

or the vegetarian ones who are quick on their feet and can re-imagine things are able to readjust to start eating something. Those are the omnivore curious. Yes. And that's very good. And then, so it's everything just eating everything. Right? And like we just see how long we could last, because you would last a while. Sure. I mean, I think if you consider, you know, I think you mentioned fungus earlier. I think even slime molds, I think anything that has

even a basic, you know, kind of animal style life. Even though these are not animals, I mean, animal style. Mushrooms are two, actually are probably two plant-like. They are. Yeah, and I think that's not really in the spirit of meat planet. No, you're right spirit a meat planet to me is just meat on meat violence and And everybody's everybody's eating everybody and then we just see who's at the top of the heap at the end Okay, and is it bugs? What about bugs? It could be I think I think bugs are in Bugs are in yeah, what about wait is on the table very much. What about jellyfish? Yeah, yeah, yeah jellyfish are in. Yeah, what about it's it's on the table very much. What about jellyfish?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Jellyfish are in. Okay, great. Great. Yeah, if it if it if it moves, it what about okay, just just so that we're you know, we're setting the boundaries of this thing. Blue green algae. Oh, I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about that. I'm talking about that. I'm talking about that. I'm talking about that. I'm talking about that.

I'm talking about that. I'm talking about that. I'm talking about that. I'm talking about that. I'm talking about that. I'm talking about that. I'm talking about that. I'm talking about that.

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I'm talking about that. I'm talking about that. I'm talking about that. I'm talking about that. I'm talking about that. I'm talking about that. I'm talking about that. I'm talking about that. I'm talking about that. I'm talking about that. I'm talking about that. I'm talking about that. I'm talking about that. I'm talking about that. I'm talking about that. I'm talking about that. I'm talking about that. I'm talking about that. I'm talking about that. I'm talking about that. I'm talking about that. I'm talking about that. I'm talking about that. I'm talking about that. I'm talking about that. I'm talking about that. I'm talking about that. I'm talking about that. I'm talking about that. I'm talking about that. I'm talking about that. I'm talking about that. I'm talking as well. I get these not many look. I think that it's pretty great. Yeah, that's right. Anyway, uh, think about that. Yeah, I know meat planet, right? And um, do you think? I mean, I don't, you know, I like, how do you think that that what's the origins of meat planet in your? Yeah, well, so as I say, like, you know, something that wipes out cellulose, it could be. So what's the origins of meat planet in your... Yeah, well, so as I say, like, you know, something that wipes out cellulose. It could be, so what cellulose has this...

It could be, so what cellulose has this... It could be, what about like a burst of gamma radiation? Okay, because, you know how microwaves work, is that they oscillate radiation in a particular frequency that... There's even a radio wave, but it's like a particular frequency that causes

water molecules to oscillate and then vibrate and that heats up the food. So you could get, say, a star explodes in some distance thing and a wave of radiation washes over the earth. Okay. Yeah, that's good. It could either be a very specific wavelength that somehow destroys, yeah, cellular molecules. You know, or photosynthesis. It's either a star or it's a one of those YouTube science pranks. You know, like one of those YouTube science pranks, there's, you know, one of those ones who creates lots of foam in their place or whatever. And they're like, oh, this is the most amount of foam. I know much about this, but yeah, it sounds like fun.

You know, but then these guys are like, well, we're going to make the most powerful microwave. And they're going to cook a really big burrito, right? Mm-hmm. And, yep. You know, and then, but then something goes off and it just creates this kind of electromagnetic pulse in the perfect microwave frequency that splits. It's all plant that splits every cellulose molecule in half and creates essentially every plant dies.

You know what though? I just, just then, in that, I think that's very good, I'll understand. I think that's probably how this will happen. But like just then, I said, cooks all plant life, but then I had another idea, which is like, what if something did happen? And it did cook all animals,

not humans, but all other animals on earth are cooked instantly, right? And they're all going to, there's a very limited window in which we can eat them. Yeah, or preserve the bed, or preserve them, sure. And then so this is, this is the bed or preserve them sure and then so this is This is the becomes your mission. You've got maybe 24 hours Right in which you've got to get all of this cooked meat refrigerated Because that's gonna have to last us that's all the meat we're ever gonna have unless we go left now that in what's on the shelves ever gonna have unless we go to. And so we're gonna left now.

That in what's on the shelves. Plants are fine, right? Yeah, plants are fine. So human existence will be able to continue, but meet the concept of meet, they'll never be more meet. So we've got to preserve all that meat and then we've got to ration it out

for the rest of human history. Yeah, and I like that we can do. That we see this early on, but then we cut to five years later when, yeah. The very last rations of meat are being handed out. Well, meat would then become like oil in the Mad Max thing, right?

And it's Eskis full of meat and freezer trucks. Instead of those big tankers full of oil in Mad Max, it's freezer trucks full of frozen buffalo or turtle or whatever it is. It's all cooked rat. It's all in there and you're driving through just normal streets, not even a desert, but you're on the run with your meat. Suddenly butchers and people who worked in meat processing plants became billionaires because they were capable of actually processing the meat of actually processing the meat in some way. Well, they're skills.

Refining it down to its chop form. I know what else would be able to work out. Well, you know, a lot of people don't wanna get their hands dirty despite how rare the meat became. Or it's either that or they were just too slow. There was a very small window. If you hesitated for even a moment, Andy, you might not see another raster for the rest of your life.

Well, I think that those, those butchers, you know, once meat becomes a limited resource, you're never going to, you're not going to entrust your precious rare meat to a, to an amateur butcher, right? You always like, it becomes like a piece of gold. You take it to a goldsmith. You take it to like this master, excuse me, I'm burping, this master crafts person, you know, and real

artisanal stuff. And they work with, they'd be working with tiny tiny pieces of meat as well. Right? Because we're rashing it out. Chops and t-bones and that sort of thing, whatever they are, are going to become smaller than your fingernail and presented to people in a tiny little bit of crushed ice inside a little ring case that you open like an eski an eski the size of One of those one of those ring cases. I said the words already Yeah, but yeah, and it'll be like those you know those Listerine Slippers Listered strip. Yeah, strips. What happened to those? Oh, they, I think they're still around.

They got to be. Still around. Can't get rid of a good product like that. Well, I don't know, I don't know if it is a good product. They felt like when they came in, they were almost universe, like everyone was, that felt like a product whose time was numbered. And yet they persisted for a really long time.

You know, I think I might have learned. Every time I see them, I was like, really, persisted for a really long time. You know, I think I'm going to have a reward. Every time I see them, I was like, really, they're still making that. I think I hung around a guy who really liked them. And so I've always seen them through a positive light. How do you feel, how do you think it would feel like to put one of those on your eyeball? I think it'd be a great YouTube prank challenge. But I think... Oh my God, let's do it! Alistair, this could be the start of our YouTube prank.

Like, it careers. I mean, we could stamp them. Oh, yeah, it is something big like that. We could stamp them into sort of like Mickey blue eyes kind of fake, you know, fake, you know, blue eyes. Yeah, contact lenses. Yeah. Contact lenses. Yeah. And then, and then trick people. Trick people. Great. All you've got to do is put in this Mickey blue eyes blue contact lens. And I'll give you 10 bucks. Yeah, or your film it. Oh, look, we will send us to you, but you go in the running to win a prize if you're live stream.

You putting it in for the first time. Yes, we pretend it's a marketing campaign for a new kind of content. For Mickey Blue Eyes too. Yep. Great. You know, Hugh Grant is back as Mickey Blue eyes. Yeah, now Mickey Blue eyes is that has risen to become the Godfather of the mafia clan.

Don, don, don, blue eyes. Donnie blue eyes. And what happens is, you know, because his, you know, I guess he, he probably fumbled. Mm. You know, he was doing probably fumbled. He was doing some fumbling and his father-in-law liked the cut of his jib. He probably saved somebody.

I have never seen Mickey blue eyes. But can you imagine already what it is? Seeing the trailer and thinking, God, that looks like a great film. I think there was a period of time in my life where every single trailer I saw, I was like, man, that's the best. I can't believe they thought of that. I think my kids at that age, and I think maybe I think we're wrong. I think we're wrong to look at one of these and think that things are not be cynical. I'm not going to be good because I don't think kids watch movies and go that was bad.

Yeah, yeah, they go that was scary. Yeah, or they go, oh, I didn't understand that and so I don't want to watch it. And so they just don't show interest. But, but like, I don't think they think that it's because it's bad. It's just they're like, oh, I don't think they think that it's because it's bad. It's just they're like, I don't want to watch that. I think every pop culture opinion, I've ever expressed, I've come to regret. Yeah. You know, especially the ones where I dismiss something. We dismiss something? Yeah, where you dismiss something, where you dismiss some genre of music, some artists, some whatever it is. If you dismiss something, where you dismiss some genre of music, some artist, some whatever it is. If you dismiss it, you're going to regret that because. Because it's just like who the fuck cares what you what I think, you know, what how do I get to

dismiss anything everything? You know if somebody likes it That's valid set for comic book movies This is the we're on the right we're on the right network. We're on the right network I have to admit I've tried to watch comic book movies and it's just like I'm like, oh, I already know everything that's gonna happen. There's not gonna be a single surprise in this. It's not gonna be interesting in any way.

I mean, look, I did watch Ragnarok because I was like, oh, this is actually gonna be different because it's somebody with a creative mind that's doing it and making it in a way that it's not supposed to be made. Yeah. But I will say that I saw the trailer, oh, sorry, I'll finish it. No, go, go, go, go. I saw the trailer for the new Loki film and I was like, I have genuinely no idea what

this movie is about. I have no idea how this, how this is a comic book movie, how this is even a movie. I'm actually interested to see what the fuck is going on here because this seems like nonsense. So, you know, maybe that's something, maybe nonsense is the... I think the problem with most comic book movies is that they've were so early in, I guess, you know, were so early on. I mean, I guess with like, let's say James Bond, they're not like in every episode, every movie going,

anyway, this is how James Bond became James Bond. Hmm right. They can just get to it. They can just go. All right. Now he's riding a wave of ice and now his underpants. They have rockets in them. You know, and they can just get to the good stuff. You know, the good stuff. Yeah. And, and he can blow up his ass and he can, and there's a villain now who's got some other weird deformation. I want to see the James Bond movie that you make. That's what I want to see, because so far I'm hearing a lot of

ass stuff and pants stuff. The generally doesn't, hasn't been explored in the, to my mind, in the traditional over. Well, I think it's, yeah, I think it is, it's probably is a lot of ass stuff, but you know, he just does it in a sexy way Hmm, there has never been a James Bond gadget In fact, there's never been a game James Bond moment in which he has had to hide anything in his ass and I reckon

I have a feeling that is probably 90% of what spying is being a spy it's putting things up your batty your bum you know microfilms little canisters of poison of some kind you know you name it you pull up your bum I got to write a second thing down. So spying, spying. Well, I think our two versions of the meat planet thing are things. Right. So there was one where all plants dying, one where all animals get

cooked instantly. Those are two ideas on the day you cannot tell me. It sounds like you think you can tell me. Yeah, but I don't know. I'm just writing. So, you know, it's hard for me to be put on my appropriate tone. It's fine. It's got more butt stuff than you think. Yeah, that's, I think, you know, you could do a, if you wanted to take it in this angle, you could do a parody sort of scene of that bit in James Bond where he's going to visit Q. But every single thing that Q has to present is something that goes up his butt. Is it, but yeah, well, I mean, because you could imagine a, you have a, a vial of poison, you know, like a suicide file, if you're going to get tortured, and then maybe

strap to your leg or, you know, in your shoe or whatever, you've got the actual, it's the suicide butt plug. And so you just have to, so you've got that vial of poison in your butt. And then in order to crunch it, you just have to take the suicide butt plug out and put it into your butt and that'll crush the vial inside your butt. Correct. It just fill the cavity. It could just be like a rip cord,

like one of those ones that you pull for like inflating a raft, a emergency route, and it just goes into your butt. And then you go, that net, a emergency route, and it just goes into your butt, and you go, oh, that net fills up the cavity, like that crushes any glass that's in there, and allows it to leak out, pushes the, the, the, the, the glass, the broken glass into the, the side flesh, and then opens a wound so the depraising can get it in. You know what? That sounds like it would work. But that would also work for those temporary super super super cute,

like super soldier type serums. The quickest way to get it in to your body to activate it. You're absolutely right. That was a little rip chord down here, but Yeah, you know you could and when you go through security you can just pass it off as a tampon there you go But but but isn't the but like when they do suppositories Right isn't the one of the advantages of that

is that it releases slowly. Like if you just have something that dissolves, like, okay, to put it in terms that other people might understand, is am I wrong in thinking that like putting drugs up your butt, like an ecstasy tablet or something, has some sort of effective of like slowly dissolving into your bloodstream and giving you like a longer something. Am I?

I don't remember whether it's slower or whether it's a more efficient entry point. I think it might be less like quick than sort of snorting, you know, crushing up something and snorting. Yeah. But I think, you know, maybe people use it as a more intense high. Um, maybe, maybe like intense and long lasting, it could be like having edibles or something like that, you know, it's, I think, it's just, I think each method of delivery has its own benefit. Unique. Which yeah, which makes you think that eating probably should have more variation.

Why are we absorbing it only through our stomach when we could be getting it in? Like, is there a food that you can snort? That you could just get into the blood vessels in your nasal passage. Well, I wonder because like sugar, right? Like powdered sugar. If you snort, yeah, I guess sugar, but like, you know, if you just went as simple as you can and just like icing sugar, right? Yeah. And you snorted that. Some of that would dissolve, some of that glucose would dissolve into your bloodstream.

Yeah. Get the sugar to your brain faster, maybe. Yeah, and is it, like, is it important that it gets processed through the, through the stomach? I think the stomach has been, or can you, has it monopoly? Can you put sugar directly into the bloodstream? Is that okay? I think that's what they do in those intravenous drips, right? Yeah. You bypass the, the, the stomach, all the time, the stomach thinks it's it, you know, it's for thousands of years. The stomach has got to decide what does and what doesn't go or the, you know, and the small intestine, what doesn't, what doesn't go into the bloodstream.

Yeah, but I say we see back the means of putting things into the bloodstream. Diffusion. And we... Yes. Diffusion? Yeah, great. And we put what into the bloodstream, what we want to put into the bloodstream, not what the small intestine wants to put into the bloodstream. And that might mean getting anything that you want,

you can get it in a fine powder now, and you can snort it. Or a solution. It'll go into the brain. The solved into sort of salty water. Are you typing? Well, that's so that you can do it intravenously, right? But I like snorting more.

Sure, no, but I mean, like imagine having smoothies intravenously. Because I mean, you know, why do only salts and sugars get to go in through a trip when you could be getting, you know, sort of, you know, a mango, what's one of those sort of like boost juice names? Yeah, a four berry blast. Four berry blast.

Monkey, monkey, mango magic. If the stomach is just, if the problem with the stomach, if the need for the stomach is just to break things down, what if I've already mechanically broken things down? Is there a way? And how would it taste if you had it just directly into your blood, especially with ice cold? What would that taste like? Do you think over time the blood vessels would evolve taste buds and the ability to

taste things? Because it seems super visually at the moment that it wouldn't taste like anything at all. That's my first instinct, Delosteire. And I don't want to rule it out. But Andy, some of those veins will transport things into your tongue. Now I don't know if the back end of a taste bud. Taste? Yeah, but it feels like that's where the signal goes. It doesn't go off the tongue up through the palate of the mouth into the brain. It goes backwards and I feel like there's going to be an intercept there. I think I think imagine the shock that your tongue would experience, tasting something from below. That's when you think you're in an empty room and somebody taps you on the shoulder.

That is your blood running cold right there. And you're a taste bud on the surface of the tongue, thinking there's no food in the mouth just tasting that neutral tongue flavor and then bam. What's this behind you? Well, it's an entire molecule of gravy Exactly think about it like you you have been sitting there Without anything to taste for at least a week and a half It's probably how long it takes for the tongue to realize that intravenous tasting and eating has occurred

because it's through boredom that it goes, well, I wonder what things at the base of the tongue tastes like. This is absolutely how this would play out. I've got no criticisms. No, no, but I think of it. What a perfect analysis. No, but it's like standing in the dark for long enough, you know?

Suddenly, even the tiniest bit of light can illuminate the room for you. Sure, sure. Right? Yeah. Your tongue's taste buds widen their pupils or you know, widen their sensitivity to the point where they can taste things and

flowing in the blood below. They're like sharks now. They can taste a flavor half a mile away. Right. I think it's something else. I don't know what it is, but yeah. It's a tremendous tasting. Okay, great. Would you wear a sort of a tongue condom for a period of time if you were promised that after, say, a month of wearing it, if you were to take it off, you could taste like a child again, tasting for the very first time.

Yeah, right. So the tongue what wipes all my memories or I mean the tongue conned on your wipes my memories? Well, you know, it's possible that the way in which we remember flavor, like I don't think I have strong memories of flavor, right? But I think orgasms are a bit like that. I think the idea is that, you know, you never remember really how good it is. You kind of just go like each one, you kind of just need to go through it in order to have a proper memory of it You know to experience them It itself you can't just go back and go all that one was good

Maybe all orgasms are the same orgasm Do you think it might only be one orgasm? There's just one orgasm. It's like electros It's like a orgasm in the entire universe. It's like electrons. It's like, it's one orgasm in the entire universe. It's like a very not scientific theory of electrons, right? But yeah, exactly. But because it doesn't apply necessarily to electrons, doesn't mean it doesn't apply to orgasms.

Exactly. That's still a good theory. We just got to find out what it applies to. It could be that it's like, you know, it's like Santa Claus, but maybe like it's just another guy, Martin orgasm. Mm-hmm. Right? And he just travels from genital to genital through, through fourth, you know, through- Incredible. Fourth dimensionaldimensional space yeah going going down various various pipes chimneys as he refers to delivering organisms are we emptying a sack are we doing that well I suppose I suppose on some occasions they're doing that that occasionally fluttering a outer

labor. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know what happens. But okay what is what is the world in which there is only one orgasm like? Do people have to book the orgasm? You know, do you... Do countries go to war to get control over it? I mean... I mean, there's a possibility we're living in that universe now. Yes. Sure. And it could be some sexologists that finally get accurate enough data to realize that no two orgasms happen at exactly the same moment.

And actually, the studies orgasms don't happen. And that it's actually impossible to make two people come at the exact same time. Well, then if there is only one orgasm though, then I think that it might be possible for evil scientists to capture it in some kind of electromagnetic field. Sure. Right? And then they could hold it to ransom and not let the world have it. Yeah, absolutely.

And I mean, this would have happened relatively, you know, deep into this full-length film. Yeah. Yeah. Because it would take a while to establish this one orgasm theory and how it works. And also whether or not we're personifying it through Martin orgasm. This episode is brought to you by Progressive. Most of you aren't just listening right now. You're driving, cleaning, and even exercising.

But what if you could be saving money by switching to Progressive? Drivers who save by switching save nearly $750 on average, and auto customers qualify for an average of seven discounts. Multitask right now. Quote today at Progressive.com. Progressive casualty and trans company and affiliates, national average 12 months savings

of $744 by new customer surveyed who saved with progressive between June 2022 and May 2023. Potential savings will vary. Discount is not available in all safe and situations. innovations. Who is essentially a sort of a disembodied soul that kind of travels around. Could be an alien consciousness. Yeah. You know, that that that takes to earth really knows how to how to make people feel good. Exactly. It really wants humans to to interbreed, to breed, you know? Yeah. Yeah, maybe we weren't doing it.

I mean, it doesn't explain animals who seem to, I'm sure, have a good time. Some of them. And there's a lot of sex talk. A lot of sex talk. Is there? That I'm extremely comfortable with. With what? Like, wait, when did this happen? Is this because...

I don't know, I do. I don't think I've ever seen you become uncomfortable about sex talk. But... But I suppose there's a rea... I suppose your talk should match the way that you do it Exactly, that's right Comfortably very uncomfortable and he has a penis with no skin, which is why He has the first I was just gonna say I've got a very lumpy bed, but all right. Yeah

Do you think the skin plays a big part? The skin of the penis. Wait, but do you think, yeah, do you think like a penis with no skin could still reach orgasm? Do you think, is that happened kind of internally? Oh, I mean, I think it would be difficult to get anybody else involved. You'd have to achieve it on your own terms. Yeah, which I think is a relatively common practice. You know what, I've heard of this occurring. Yeah.

I think, good Lord, so does the skin. It feels like the buzz, you know, like the little... It's just bleeding, bleeding flesh. Okay. No, it doesn't, no, no, no, no, no, no, I'm not talking about bleeding flesh, I just mean like, it feels like there's something deeper. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, talking about a skinned. Yeah, I know, but I think I'm imagining that whatever is there has sort of hard. Some skin like properties.

Well, no, has like had some time to settle into some kind of homeostasis in which it's no longer just losing blood. You know, it's scabbed over or something like that. Okay, yeah. But if it was just skin, if it was just the skin, you could do it, you could achieve it on any part of the body, an orgasm.

Yeah. Yeah, okay, I see what you're saying. I think there's gotta be. There's gotta be something a little bit deeper that is like that. Well, it might be special skin. It might have special skin. Could get rule out.

Could skin itself being the thing that is. Yeah, sure. It could also be something deeper as well. Could be a little trigger. But then I a little red button. Yeah. I don't know what that what's deeper is. How would it be sensing what's going on? Pressure I suppose Well, it's it's a complicated thing. It's like it needs to get into the reverse engineer

It you need yeah, I think I think if if that bit Fell From the sky from an alien, you know, that same bit fell from an alien. Yeah. Say in New Mexico. Yeah. Crash through a barn. Just that bit, the bit that activates it.

And inside both the male or the female organ, right? And it crashed through. And you know, but this is from a large creature. Yeah. The FBI came by and they were like, or the CIA or whatever, and they were like, oh, at first they say, it looks like it's the bit of a genital, a huge bit of a genital A genital, a huge bit of a genital that might be responsible for triggering an orgasm. And then on the next day, they'll be like, I mean, we mean it was a weather balloon. Forget we said anything. Right? And then they would take it back to some base, some compound.

And then for the next 100 years, we're 70 to date, they would try to reverse engineer this bit. And they'd put it on various ships and see if it makes them orgasm. They couldn't quite do it. They'd tried to graft it to a man's arm, see if they could make his arm orgasm. They couldn't do it. But yet this bit does do that. It does, and they're so confident.

I mean, imagine the enormous amount of self-faith, of belief, pure belief that you would have to have, that your diagnosis is correct, to keep working on this thing. Under that assumption, for 70 years, you haven't achieved orgasm with this alien sexual organ once in 70 years. But you've got your best men and women on it, rubbing at it every day. I suppose it would have had to have landed here

with a little bit of slew. It's like that stargate, it's like that stargate gate that's trying to decode to get it to open. And occasionally they rub it and they just just their sensors see that twinkle, that twinkle that's like, you know, it's that like twinkling sensation that makes it mean something's starting, something this is beginning. I mean, what if this was the way in which aliens approached Earth, right? That before they'll come, before they'll come to Earth, they will send down a replica of one of their sexual organs

and we have to please it in the correct way. We have to decode the way in which to pleasure this alien and then, because these aliens, they're fuckfeins. the way in which to pleasure this alien. And then, because they have, these aliens, they have fuckfeins. And they're not gonna bother with no planet that doesn't know how to make them feel good. Of course. Yeah.

And that's all it is. And that's right. And they're just sending by, just pros that come by drop off. Drop off, drop off the Organ that specific bit of the organ and then inside the organ is also Communication device, but I mean I think you can probably You know

When you're an advance enough civilization you can probably from across the galaxy sense an orgasm occurring on another planet. When you got the right equipment, and so they're just there, they got their, they got their, you know, radio antennas going to control room. Yeah. And then they see some little light starts flashing and then sector alpha gamma 12. You know, they go, oh, start to get something in the earth. The earth direction, they go, they set a little bit of that sweat on their brow.

Hot under the. You can sense because the guy, the guy who's looking at the thing is just starting to, you know, pull it his collar a little bit and he's wiping, he's getting a tissue instead of... So they have a collar, they have tissues on this planet? Yeah. He's all asted. I think if you've got orgasms, you've got collars and tissues. That's absolutely true. They go hand in

cock. Cock in hand that would make more sense anyway. No, no, no. Yeah, that's that's great. So this is like our movie arrival or or some other thing, but instead of having to learn an alien language or you know how to use some piece of technology. It's how to make the thing do the thing, thing wise. Yeah, fantastic. Yeah, they just sit down there, sexual organ.

And then once you do, we'll come. And we'll have sex with you. Great. It feels like you could pitch us to Seth Rogen and you could. This would be made. This would definitely be made. Within weeks. This is a real set.

Within weeks. It doesn't matter. I think they do. Well, if the idea is good enough, they... The Hollywood is the epicenter. I like to think that if when a movie idea is so as good as this, they have ways of making it happen a lot faster. Yeah, of course.

Right. Probably a lot of studios would chip in and Ben Hurd. Because they'd see the value of it. Ben Hurd, they still took a year in a bit to make. And that was a really good idea. But an idea this good, they could do it in a couple of weeks. They could turn it around. That's just my feeling. Andy, if the meat planet, two ideas are two ideas, then we are on five. And so. That's good news for everyone.

It takes us to a point where we can get words from a listener. And have we already done the Bjorn Hop one? I mean, that name sounds familiar, but maybe it just because it fits so beautifully into the folds of my brain. I love that name. Yeah, no, let's hear it. Bjorn Hoppe. Do you want to get some words?

Do you want to get some words? Hey. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I guess I guess some. Wrote a dendron? No, no. Kindergarten. Cop.

Cop. No, Andy. Doppelganger. Kindergarten, doppelganger. These are great words. Andy, no, there's a pattern here. There's a pattern here and I want you to recognize it. These are all German derived words. Words derived from Germanic.

So I feel like you're going to guess this next one. Kindergarten, Doppelganger, Shadden Freud. Oh, that was close, Andy. Ah. Kindergarten, doppelganger. This is like West. Sight, guys. Kindergarten, doppelganger, is like, guys.

Kindergarten, doppelganger, is like, guys. Kindergarten, doppelganger, is like, guys, kindergarten, doppelgangers, like, guys. kindergarten, doppelgangers, like, guys. So what does that mean? I mean, well, I mean, you send your children off to kindergarten. You get back children, as they guarantee, at the kindergarten. You will get back a child that looks exactly like your child.

And you won't have equal of greater equal value. Greater or equal value. Oh my god, imagine that. Okay, so if that's their guarantee, yes, absolutely, that if something happens to your child, I'll give you one that's as good or better. And sometimes that just means the kid that you'll get back will have learned something. I think that's how they're initially just trying to pass it off. The kid that you bring in, you'll get a better kid coming out. That's how they're passing it off, right? But in the phrasing. They've left themselves so legal loophole yeah in which they can

have your kid destroyed you know by accident most of the time yeah and re you know clone them or her and create a better one, maybe one that has a golden finger. But I think they could also just send you off with a totally different kid, but it's just a better kid. And like initially you're sad, but you actually, legally you have no leg to stand on

because you try and take that court. They're gonna put that kid on the stand. They're gonna ask a bunch of questions, it's gonna know all the answers. It's gonna be able to prove that it's a better kid. And deep down in your heart of hearts, you know that you love this kid more as well. And the thing is, you know when the kids walk in

to daycare or whatever now, and they get the laser scanner, laser gun on their head to check their temperature, what they're actually doing is taking a snapshot of their consciousness when they come in. They consciousness. So that any new kids that they put it, they can give them the old consciousness

so that they recognize you that they put it, they can give them the old consciousness, so that they recognize you when you show up. And the kid loves you, has every memory, but is a little bit better. They might not look the same, but they might look more like you in a way that you appreciate more, that reminds you of your childhood and the good parts of your childhood. This is a great idea. I wouldn't be surprised if this isn't already a conspiracy theory in some way. Certainly that pushing that thermometer to your head, flashing a laser on your brain. If there's not a Facebook group dedicated to suggesting that they're scanning your consciousness or in some way damaging your frontal lobe intentionally to make you more compliant, I'll be very

surprised. Yeah, it seems crazy that I haven't even heard one yet. Ah, we are breaking new, new ground in fringe madness. So I just got to finish writing this and then, or... No, I had a thought about sheep all. What was it about sheep following? Here is the sheep all, here is the spot. Yeah, that was it. Yeah. I'm done. I can take us to the sketch ideas if you like. Yeah, that was it. Yeah. I'm done.

Yeah, I can take us to the sketch ideas if you like. Yeah, I'd love that. Andy, we got two meat planet sketch ideas up front. These are probably bigger, these are probably films, full length films. This could be the Armageddon deep impact scenario that we had roughly what 23 years ago? That's it. One's going to be called meat planet and one's going to be called butcher land.

Exactly. Land of the butcher. The very similar concepts. Yeah. One is that all meat is cooked at once, which kills all animal life. But we've only got, but all the meat is really well cooked. And we've just got this, you know, we've got just this last bit of time left to preserve as much as the meat as we can or eat as much as you can. Some people will go that eating as much as you can root. But that's like the grasshopper who didn't save anything for winter.

That's right. Instead they just ate meat. And then you got the other one where all plants die. And it's replaced with an all-meat ecosystem. Yeah, I understand why some people on the podcast don't feel like those are two ideas to absolutely stand on their own, but I'm one of the people on the podcast who disagrees. Yeah, I think, I mean, all these ideas, Andy, you can't take a sentence and say that this doesn't stand alone. You haven't heard where it goes yet. That's true. Show me a sketch idea at seven, and I will show you the sketch. Seven years old. What a seven, seven, okay. Seven years old.

I'd hope there'd be something by then. Yeah. After you've been working on a sketch for seven years. Yeah, okay. Seven years old. I hope there'd be something by then. Yeah. After you've been working on a sketch for seven years. Yeah, but at this point, you know, you don't go, show me the baby at birth and I will show you the man. No, seven. Spying has got more butt stuff than you think.

That's the, and it's, you know, it's probably just a cue-based thing, cue-based sketch with all the butt stuff. Yeah, or it could be it like a spy induction kind of. Yeah, exactly. Of any kind, yeah. Spy induction, great. Then we got intravenous eating, you know, but specifically intravenous tasting. Yeah, from beneath the tongue. The taste is coming from inside the tongue.

Exactly. That's a reference that never gets overused. Well, I don't know. I don't think most modern people are doing this. Right. Yeah, especially regarding tongues, Andy. Then we got the one orgasm theory. There's only one orgasm. And sexologists are- The high concepts today and I love it. Sexologists are realizing. And I mean, there's a chance in which we could realize that maybe you know orgasms are fundamental to the universe. So they're the actual building block. I mean it's the only time

in which matter is created. That's we don't know, we don't know, until this point, that that's the only thing that breaks the conservation of matter rules. If you weigh the testicles, nobody's done this, nobody's weighed the testicles before and after I'd compared that to the weight of sperm to the amount of stuff that comes out You go you actually The evidence is is overwhelming The whole situation is overwhelming overwhelming. The whole situation is overwhelming. You know, they won't even approve my funding to do this research. I think they're scared of what I'll find. Yeah, I think they probably already know

what I'm going to find and they're trying to hide it from the general populace. Every time they come into the lab and I've got my balls What one of those little digital scales? Yeah, they get really upset Yeah, well cuz they know I'm close to something Then we got the bit that triggers orgasm crashing to the earth Yes from an alien species bit that triggers orgasm, crashing to the earth. Ah, yes. From an alien species. Mm.

Yep. And seeing whether or not a man or woman can figure out. Or both. Or both together. Yeah, that's probably what we'd have to discover. You think it's working together would be the lesson of that? Yeah. Yeah. Great. Finally, something that has never happened before.

No. And then we've got the kindergarten guarantee. We'll send you home with a child of equal or greater value. It's really good. That's a great place to end. Yeah. All right, dinkle. Dinkle. Dinkle, dinkle, dinkle, dinkle, dinkle, dinkle, dinkle, dinkle, dinkle, dinkle, dinkle, dinkle, dinkle, dinkle, dinkle, dinkle, dinkle, dinkle, dinkle, dinkle, dinkle, dinkle, dinkle, dinkle, dinkle, dinkle, dinkle, dinkle, dinkle, dinkle, dinkle, dinkle, dinkle, dinkle, dinkle, dinkle, dinkle, dinkle, dinkle, dinkle, dinkle, dinkle, dinkle, dinkle, dinkle, dinkle, dinkle, dinkle, dinkle, dinkle, dinkle, dinkle, dinkle, dinkle, dinkle, dinkle, dinkle, dinkle, dinkle, dinkle, dinkle, dinkle, dinkle, dinkle, dinkle, dinkle, dinkle, dinkle, dinkle, dinkle, dinkle, dinkle, dinkle, dinkle, dinkle, dinkle, dinkle, dinkle, dinkle, dinkle, dinkle, dinkle, dinkle, dinkle, dinkle, dinkle, dinkle, dinkle, dinkle, dinkle, dinkle, dinkle, dinkle, dinkle, dinkle, dinkle, dinkle, dinkle, dinkle, dinkle, dinkle, dinkle, dinkle, dinkle, dinkle, dinkle, dinkle, dinkle, dinkle, dinkle, dinkle, d, dinkle, dinkle, dinkle, d, d, d, d, d, d, d, d, d, d, d, d, d, d, d, d, d, d, d, d, d, d, d, d, d, d, d, d, d, d Thank you so much for listening to the thing Tank. God, we appreciate that. You do that. We do.

I've been Andy and I'm a stupid old Andy on Twitter. And I'm at Alistair TV on Twitter and we're at two in Tank. And you know what? You can find us in all the regular places. Oh wait, somebody left a review on our pod. And by the way, you can find us on Instagram. And you can also support us on Patreon, which some people have recently joined our Patreon, joined the Patreon family. Oh, and it is a family. It is Patreon family.

Oh, and it is a family. It is a family. We don't have meetups yet, but that's because we're not as close as we could be. But this person who wrote this review, they wrote it, they're from Australia. They said the review starts with the subject shout out. Am I writing this review for the hope that I get a shout out during the podcast? Hmm, maybe Lee Warren is my name.

But besides that, this podcast is just super enjoyable. Both for listening and laugh while doing the dishes or a nice one down as I go to bed. Great work, guys. Keep up the great work. And we'll give you the... Thanks, Lee. Two in the... Thank you so much, Lee Warren. Apps. Lee Warren Apps is their username. I don't know why.

Maybe they make apps. Lee, would you make a tune to think tech app? What would that be? What would that be? That looked like. But let's have a meeting. Lee Warren Apps. And this is the shout out that you wanted. Yeah, I think this is what this is. So, anyway, everybody who's written reviews, we've absolutely enjoyed them. And we are not beneath readings the month. I mean, we could start. Ha-ha-ha. Anyway, take care of yourselves.

It's good. It's almost new years, day. We're only... We have a good two days away. I have a good life. Yeah, take care of yourselves. And we... Like.

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