Simple Swedish Podcast - 279 - "BABY LONG LEGS"

Episode Date: March 30, 2021

Nobel Prize for Silence, Potent Imagineering, BLL, Planetaires, People from the Future League, Horny Eyed EagleListen and subscribe to our new show THE POP TEST on Radio National or as a PodcastAnd buy tickets to TELEPORT at the Melbourne International Comedy Festival 2021Join the other TITTT scholars on the TITTT discord server hereGet Magma here: https://sospresents.com/programs/magmaHey, why not listen to Al's meditation/comedy podcast ShusherDon't forget TITTT Merch is now available on Red Bubble. Head over here and grab yourselves some material objects...and you can support the pod by chipping in to our patreon here (thank you!)You can find us on twitter at @twointankAndy Matthews: @stupidoldandyAlasdair Tremblay-Birchall: @alasdairtb and instaAnd you can find us on the Facebook right hereAuthentic denim thanks to George for producing this episode. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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which goes from April 5th to April 18th. But tickets are selling. Thank you. If you are listeners who are buying ticket. Thank you. You can also listen to the pop test, which is our very legitimate radio show slash podcast. It's on the ABC radio national. It's a comedy quiz with guest comedians of a high profile and guest scientists which should be which should be of a even higher profile. Oh, yes. And in an ideal world, I think it would be a lot better world

if it was, I would say. The most famous people were teachers and nurses and mothers. And Peace on Earth was the most famous thing of all. I'm gonna come to your house and eat your lunch. Thank you so much for tuning in, tuning your dial to In the Thing Tank. The show where we come up with five sketch ideas. I'm Andy. And I'm Alistair George William long name, Tromley virtual.

Does that have that's pronounced? Long is Lunga in Na'ai Ma. Is there any languages that work more with pauses? Because I feel you know like you can paint with empty space. Surely you can communicate with silence. Well I mean if you said if you had agreed with empty space. Surely you can communicate with silence. Well, I mean, if you said, if you had agreed that silence meant I love you, then every time that you're not speaking to your wife,

you're telling her you love her. It's straight away. We've fixed so many marriages. Yeah. It's... And then... It's a linguistic problem. We make things hard for ourselves by not making the default state of something.

Yeah. You know, something incredibly positive. That's right. And if then, then in a world like that, if you or your wife was to you, or your husband was to you yelling, yes, profanities and angry things in a dissatisfaction, you could instantly see there was something wrong in the relationship, you know, because suddenly they had stopped

telling you they love them, they love you. Well, we have this sort of bias towards assuming that things that are louder and more important. But I think the more important something is the quieter you should say it. I see. Oh, so if something is the most important, you shouldn't hear it. You shouldn't, it should be totally inaudible. And what is the most important thing? Love.

Love. And nurses and teachers. If it was up to me, the world peace would be silent. It would never be spoken of. Yeah. Good. If it was up to me, the sexiest thing on earth would be not fighting other people because of their culture. Now is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this, is this Now is this is this is sticking in you that that should be what's depicted on the front page of every every Lads magazine. The Playboy Center fold should be a white dove in a bikini. Maybe that's again remodeling the word, the, moneying this, the message. Alistair is this, is this wrong? But I feel like as a, as a parent, it might help me if maybe the Nobel Prize Committee would introduce a Nobel Prize for silence,

which all children eligible, but only one can win every year. Oh, and oh, that's a good idea. Yeah, Nobel Prize for just, just being a little bit quiet, not, maybe not silence, but just being a little bit quiet, maybe not silence, but for being a little bit quieter in the back of the car when we're going 110 down the freeway. No bell comprised for not kicking the back of the seat. Yeah, I mean, if the no bell thing is we're thinking

about trying to help the world, Yeah, it would help with parenting. But not by putting any pressure on the parents, putting the pressure on the children, putting pressure on children gets results. But it's also good with the kicking in the back of the seat to finally see an award that is biased towards people who are differently abled. You know, because so much of our society gives, you know, let me, let's face it, white adult men, an advantage, a leg up. And I think finally it's about time that there's more emphasis on put towards those things. But also stuff, an award that is doing nothing but good. And of course, some people would say we should get children to speak and to share their voice.

But then there would be others from the other camp. And they should wash, wash, wash, wash, wash, wash, wash, just take a little breath. How would you go about giving somebody a leg down? Interesting, dig a hole? Interesting, dig a hole. Could be dig a hole. I was wondering if maybe it's when they want to get down a hole or something like that, and you grab them by the ankle and dangle them.

Yeah. And then, yeah. And then, yeah, well then you're giving them a head down, I think. A head down. Yeah, but I think it's the, you know, when you're giving somebody a leg up, you're also giving them a head up, aren't you? And it's true. Yeah, that's true. You know, I think you's the you know when you're giving somebody a leg up you're also giving them a head up aren't you and Yeah, that's you are going foot first. I mean foot foot last Indeed so if we're focusing on the leg as the sort of the the

Action point the The actuator the ink or the actuator Mm-hmm. I think I think that would be a leg down Yeah, I suppose you're right. But then you would still have to dig a hole. So there's actually more, there's two things there as well, unless there's already a hole. I guess you could go to it somewhere

where there's a geological formation. Yeah. I guess you don't have to build a platform for it to give somebody a leg up. Would you allow somebody down a help? Would you help? Would you help? Would you help? Would you help? Would you help? Would you help? Would you help?

Would you help? Would you help? Would you help? Would you help? Would you help? Would you help? Would you help? Would you help?

Would you help? Would you help? Would you help? Would you help? Would you help? Would you help? Would you help? Would you help?

Would you help? Would you help? Would you help? Would you help? Would you help? Would you help? of their head and just, just clamping, clamping like with tongs, but your arms are tongs. Yeah, or we could, maybe this could be a new form of transport. You could talk to your friend Elon about this, right? It's a thing that is basically like one of those, is he Canadian? Partially, yeah. Right, but he's also South African. Yes, also, but I think he's, I mean, he might speak French-Canadian. also South African. Yes, also. But I think he's, I mean, he might speak French Canadian. If you grab him by the top of, you grab somebody by the top of their

head with a thing that's like a skill tester. Yeah. Your fingers, three of your fingers. Three of your three fingers. No, well, this is the biggest strongest fingers. The big machine. Yeah. That picks people up like that and then carries them away sort of swaying like... I think if you did it right under the jaw and maybe on that point where there's a little nobily bit where your spine meets your head or your head. Even where the spine meets the head, it's just a little lump at the back of the spine. There's nothing really there.

I reckon it's a protrusion from creating a space where the spine slots in. It's a spine slot. It's kind of in there. It's probably on the inside of the skull. And I'm sure that this is a perfectly accurate. There's probably an inverse divot, like a concave kind of little place, where actually the top of the spine hooks in, it has a little, like that, and it's a little anchor point,

so that you can't pull it out. You can't just yank it off like that. You can't just... There's a little tab. Yeah, there's a little tab for it. That's... I mean, if I was designing it, I would definitely feel like that was an important thing.

That feels like... Because what if the spine just starts slipping out of your head? So you're describing something that's a little bit like one of those little clips that they used to keep the battery cover into a remote control. You know, that little tab that slides in at the end there and pops up inside the case. Yeah, I mean... And it makes me think that if you press... If I pressed my thumb at the back of your neck, right, pressed it in, and then sort of pull down as I was pulling your head up, I could just pop it off.

Yeah, it's not exactly what I'm thinking of. I guess I'm kind of, I'm thinking of it in more in the way that kind of like, I guess a grappling hook works, and that it's got that curled over part, and that it hooks over into a divot somewhere that it finds on the roof, sometimes in between tiles, sometimes it's over a ledge or whatever like that. But it finds a decent divot that you can put downward pressure on and then allows the spine to keep get a good, you know, I imagine when they install the spine into the skull,

they give a little tug like that to make sure it's secure. Yeah. You know, that's the quality. That's the quality. It's that Japanese building style where you don't use any nails. It's just all slots. Yeah. It's all nice design slots.

I think it's good. Yeah, there's no sketch in it. Well, I just want to, my idea about people being carried around by their heads. Oh, yeah, sorry. I just want to say, might not be a sketch idea, but you know where this would go great. Where? And one of those sort of stop-motion animations, where it's sort of depicting a sort of a bit of a slightly dystopian thing. Maybe it's quite satirical thing about, you know, people going off to work and that sort

of thing. And if you can imagine how impactful a scene it would be when the children are sent out the front door and grabbed by the heads and straggged, you know, swinging through the air by this thing down and then dropped at the school. I was like, you think how potent the imagery is? I don't know what it may be, but it's potent. Maybe you could fade in some images of sheep walking through those things at the abattoir. Yeah, that has faded out. Back to the children going into school with their heads big hill by skill testing.

Yeah, I think that's actually the beginning of modern times. They actually do that with people walking to think. And sheep. And sheep or, you know, cattle or something. Master of, my great. Master of, of satire. Oh, he must have made that in high school. Well, I imagine modern times as masterpiece was.

I mean, he was a guy who made a job out of falling over. Yeah. Let's not, let's not elevate him too hard. Yeah, and there's a chance that he stole a lot of his character from some Scottish. Yeah, I think there's just like somebody's trying to bring it to light right now that there was a scar. Oh, glad somebody's getting on it. Yeah, well, there's somebody who's like, oh, yeah, there was this Scottish guy who was doing that kind of the, you know, homeless guy acted that was kind of a bit drunk. Then it's with a similar mustache. It could have just been a homeless guy who was a bit drunk.

I think it was a famous act, you know, since it's a bot-villian act at the time. I found out yesterday, not yesterday, two days ago, I come from Vordville Stock. Did you know that? Do you know that? I come from Peach Growers. Really?

Yeah, big bit in the Peach Grow in community. The fuzz. What kind of a Vodville? German. German. German circuit. They were so good. Oh, like from the word Vodville.

Yeah. Yeah, anyway. Well, I didn't know that. So joke tellers? I think performing, you know, dancing, dancing, kind of shit. Yeah. All the skills that I've retained this day. Yeah, to this day, it's clearly in your blood.

My adering sense of rhythm, didn't happen by accident, that was it. I think if you did all of those things in a genuine sort of way, I think that it would be very funny. Thank you. And I think that you would make a great act. Thank you. I have the ability to do those in a humorous way. Yeah. Well, yeah, but don't try to do them humorously.

I want you to try and do them genuinely. And don't mistake that sentence. The start of that sentence, I have the ability to do these things. Don't think of that as the whole said to it because the rest of it is crucial. Yeah, yeah, okay. We're a little bit... Yeah, dangling kids. Dangling kids? That's a thing. Yeah, it's a thing. It's a it's a it's a it's a it's a it's a it's a it's a it's a it's a it's a it's a it's a it's a it's a it's a it's a it's a it's a it's a it's a it's a it's a it's a it's a it's a it's a it's a it's a it's a it's a it's a it's a it's a it's a it's a it's a it's a it's a it's a it's a it's a it's a it's a it's a it's a it's a it's a it's a it's a it's a it's a it's a it's a it's a it's a it's a it's a it's a it's a it's a it's a it's a it's a it's a it's a it's a it's a it's a it's a it's a it's a it's a it's a it's a it's a it's a it's a it's a it's a it's a it's a it's a it's a it's a it's a it's a it's a it's a it's a it's a it's a it's a it's a it's a it's a it's a it's a it's a it's a it's a it's a it's a it's a it's a it's a it's a it's a it's a it's a it's a it's a it's a it's a it's a it's a it's a it's a it's a it's a it's a it's a it's a it's a it's and what we do is we come up with sort of potent satirical imagery. And what we do is we go door to door,

or even business to business. We go in with a slide show and a, why are you rolling your eyes? I'm not rolling my eyes, I'm trying to think about something. And I don't know what I was thinking about, they made me roll my eyes, but they made me go focus. I think that was me in attempting to focus. We go into businesses without big sketchpad,

and that sort of thing. And we're sort of old-timey businessmen. We're trying to sell them potent imagery. Yeah. And we got to range at different types of potent imagery. Are you going to love this next image? It's so potent. Do you think it would be...

You should get to like Adam Elliott for some stop motions. Adam Elliott. It's a guy who did Harvey Crompert and Mary and Matt. But we're going to businesses. Are we trying to sell it to their like for their advertising? We go to like let's say we go to a place that sells Nicknecks. Yeah. Okay. And we want to go all we're going to help you sell Nicknecks because this place is doesn't you know it seems like it could be doing better. Yeah. Yeah. 200 dollars. You could get these are the big child being carried around by its head. How could they sell to sell your digdack?

What if they were being carried to a store that doesn't have digdacks in it? We see in which society forces our children to go to shops that don't have digdacks. And then, then your store is there, and the children walk in using their legs. And it's by the contrast, we see the natural order of things being asserted itself through the sale of Nicknack's and this dystopia of enforced non-nicknackery.

They forced non-nicknackery. And I guess you could, I mean, I guess people sometimes you could, you know, you could go to a door to door to people's houses and also just sell them imagery. Mmm. You're right. You know? Yeah, something to, something like a mental picture that you could have.

Things that they might wish to dream about, things that they might wish to just sort of rest their mind on in a moment of silence. Because especially you could go there, you go, is there an emotion that you're hoping to feel more of? Because I could maybe, we could maybe, generate some imagery for you that you can return to that makes you feel that way. Now we're going to run through a series of these images, but once one of them makes you

feel the right way, hold on to that and for the low low price of these images. But once one of them makes you feel the right way, hold onto that and for the low low price of $50. Well, we can go to the pros at the end. We can never, you think that's worth. Now, we can give you packages. So that's what I'm saying. Now, we can give you more. And I go, wow, well, there's a worry

that they're not going to pay for anything. Yeah, well, I guess once you've shown them the imagery, I could just go away and picture it without having paid you anything. That's right. Yeah. So you kind of want something at the beginning. Yeah.

And then maybe you could give them something for free. And then you can... Oh, I see. That's a good way. That's how you can get them in. Because they probably won't see the value of imagery. If you just say that I want to sell you some imagery. Yeah.

But then you say, well, picture this. A sheep is caught in the closing shovels of a digger machine and is squealing. Wow, like that. And the driver is pulling the lever, tightening the grip on this sheep, and then a baby arrives. It appears on the scene. A big baby. Like you with really long legs. Yeah, with really long legs appears and it puts its dangly arms and also has dangly arms. I am between the two things and forces it open and stairs.

The man in the diggers, the driver's seat in the arm. Dead in the eye. Dead in the diggers, driver's seat in the eye. Dead in the eye. Dead in the eye. You are next. I don't know. I'm just, you know. And then he goes in there. He uses his big noodle arms to wrap around two, three times.

Then he gives him a hug and kisses him. Kisses him on the head. And as the man breathes in, those chemicals that come off of a baby's head, he remembers about love. How about this for a dystopian future? Right. That we decide that nobody wants to, because we think babies are so cute, we decide we somehow genetically do something so that our bodies remain as babies bodies for our entire lives. But then of course you

don't want to be a short as a baby. Explain why we want to do that? Because babies are so cute. Yeah, well their faces are cute. I guess their arms and legs are cute. Yeah, I mean they're definitely that. Well, their bellies. Yeah, well their bellies are pretty cute. They're butt too cute. Yeah. So their heads are a bit of a mask because of the weird distribution of hair, right? Sometimes, but you could fix that. You can still go to the hairdresser if you're an adult baby, no? I know, but in a way, they also have the worst bodies, but the most useless ones.

Yeah. Well, and that's where I'm going. Okay, great, great. So the, because of the, that's all right, you know, you need people to absorb the floors so that the other people can paper over them. The babies, we then also genetically engineer the babies, just so that, you know, we're babies, but we have really long arms and legs. So which means that we sort of, we go around at the same height as a human.

That's good. And then we can still live in the world that has been designed for people this size. That's nice. Yeah. But we have tiny baby bodies and then really long arms and legs. So I'm glad I heard you out. Thanks. Yeah. And so how thick are our arms and legs? Sort of the thickness of a baby's, baby's arms and legs, it's kind of end, do we have? Yes, they are the thickness of a baby's arms and legs. And they're quite tube-like and vending. But do they have per square inch, the same number of sort of baby fat rolls?

All the way down the arms. All the way down the arms. I think they do, yeah, very good question. Very good question. That's good, yeah. And do these people, these people are all over the world. Do we consider them a new type of people? I mean, at some point, we realize that they're babies. And so they've got babies body.

So people are used to that. But then their arms and legs are big. And they're a big part of society. And they're not near any adults. Yeah, I think they have adult minds. So you can grow and mature as a person, but you just have a little baby body and then, you know, all those other long bits

that I've talked about. I guess you could still wear babies' nappies and stuff if you wanted to, or you could dress, you know, in a suit. I'm not sure whether or not the baby arm, you would put the elbow halfway down the arm or whether or not you would keep the baby forearm just that short baby forearm that's about 15 centimeters long and then just have a really, really long upper arm like one of those

weird crabs. Yeah, but I guess this would be one of the things you can offer you can customize where you put the elbow Yeah, but I guess it would also allow you to not have to lengthen more bones Mm-hmm. That's true. Yeah, it seems much more plausible to lengthen only one bone Yeah, one of the arm bones, but is that the same thing would happen with the would you just do the thigh bone? I suppose that's a stronger Probably take us lengthening more. I think that would be quite funny to see.

Is there a physiological reason why the knee has to be halfway down the leg from the point of view of, you know, center of balance? Center of balance and that sort of thing? Or could you have it way down near the ground? And still walk? Yeah, I think that you would have to, in order to balance, you would have to have your knee bent quite a lot to stay, to stand up, right?

And probably have to be bent forwards because your knee is bent so you're going backwards, but then you would have to lean forward. Yeah. So they would walk very kind of strangely, almost spider-like. Maybe they could have two knees. I realize that would make them more spider-like. But I think maybe it's just a question of adding an extra midsection to the leg, sort of in between the two knees. Yeah, well then I started thinking about those, those double pendulums and then those triple pendulums.

Quite complicated from a physics perspective. Yeah, and those ones that can lead you into chaos very quickly. And is that something that we want, and that a person who has an adult mind but in only a small baby brain size, you know, are they capable of handling the extra physics? The extra physics involved in walking.

Yeah, involved in walking. Yeah, it's hard enough. But I guess, you know, they all have as much time to learn how to walk as a rest of us. They're still just gonna be babies at first. Yeah. Just regular babies, and then just their arms and legs will grow.

But now, but my picturing is seeing those people sort of out at night clubs at a bar while you're you know You're getting a drink and you're sort of you're looking for someone to love Someone to give your heart to and Then next to you is sort of sitting sitting this person with a kind of a baby-like body Things like that, but maybe you know, maybe they're making eyes at you. Yeah. And then you go, well, I just, you know, I don't think I hadn't I had thought about the relationship

consequences. Yeah. And so I mean, it feels like it would be better if they were just dating each other, but then again, you don't, you know, that sounds like discriminatory in some way. That sounds discriminatory. So we're creating a classical that, um, yeah, you know, it's, it's a, it makes it just very tough. Um, I mean, to be fun to see them skydiving with your big gangily, gangly lonesome, whatever, then, you know, then, but then looking at them from above, a lot of

them, most of them would be sort of, uh of hidden by that regular size man on their back, strapped to their back. So the footage wouldn't be as good. I guess until eventually they could become instructors themselves, sort of I guess do free-follow themselves. I think actually they'd be in a really good position to possibly not need parachutes at all, but really genuinely fly with some kind of a wingsuit. You know, because you think about the length of those arms relative to the weight of their body and they've got a huge surface area. Yeah. But then I guess I don't know why, what, you know, what would, because people worried about adults becoming, you know, staying kids for longer, you know. The idea of adults staying babies, their whole lives even into their elderly hood, where,

you know, there's a lot less strength in the bones and then they've got longer, you know, sort of much more, I suppose, fragile bones because they, in order to keep the babyness, they can't get that thick. So they probably would have a lot of problem in old age. And then, and then is there a wheelchair that's, you know, it's high enough up to stop their legs from sort of... Yeah, it's a Pandora's box. But you can't stop people from doing what they want. No, that's true. That's one of those things we've learned. You try with the sort of, you know, genetic or with the genetic or altering laws and things like that.

But it's the phases. The hard ones. As soon as you allow people to erase a genetic disorder from their babies, what's next is elderly babies with long, gangly legs. So the daddy long legs. Yeah, or baby long legs. Baby long legs. Sort of daddy long legs. Yeah, or baby long legs. Baby long legs. Alistair, do, I, you know, again, this one's a little bit abstract.

Yeah. But do you think that if we were to make a list of the world's most potent fluids? Yeah, potent fluids. Most potent fluids. I think, I think just listing things by how powerful they are. It's quite an interesting idea, because it requires you to list not only things that are dangerous, but also things that have other forms of power.

So you would have... Polic power. Exactly. What's the most politically powerful liquid? So you would have... The power. Exactly. What's the most politically powerful liquid? Probably. Water. Oil?

Oil. I mean, water, it's hard to argue that anything that everybody needs to live. Is that interesting that oil is kind of like a kind of like ground water? Right? Isn't it interesting that oil is kind of like a kind of like ground water? Right? It's like it's what the earth thinks water should be. This episode is brought to you by Progressive. Most of you aren't just listening right now. You're driving, cleaning, and even exercising. But what if you could be saving money by switching to progressive? Drivers who saved by switching saved nearly $750 on average, and auto customers qualify

for an average of seven discounts. Multitask right now, quote today at progressive.com. Progressive casualty and trans company and affiliates, National Average 12 month savings of $744 by new customer surveyed, who saved with progressive between June 2022 and May 2023. Potential savings will vary. This counts not available in all safe and situations. It's funny that ground does make its own water. It makes its own liquid. The dry makes some liquid.

Yeah, that is odd. Do you think in a sort of scenario where we were planeteers or something like that? Yeah, I'm, I mean, I'm keen. You know, and we each get our own element. Those earthen some way have the power of oil as well. I think that would be good. I think it would be good if there was one of the planetes, did have the power of oil. I mean, they can shoot oil at things. Now, obviously, you see the floor in this, shooting oil at things causes a lot of pollution.

But that just requires them to be more strategic and careful. Well, they could do a really thin half, they shoot it. Yeah, little beam. You know, like a clown, a clown flower. Yeah, I'll come next to it. You know, they could put it in. I was not with you on that. I did not know what you meant by a thin jet of oil like a cloud. And I challenged the listener, any listener, to that moment to have no where you were going with it. I mean, if you had a little clown flower on

their breast pocket. You know, that was a useful clarification, but you have a little clown flower on their breast pocket. You know? That was a useful clarification. But it was a scary couple of milliseconds before you came through with that. Yeah, but you know, that's what you realize is sort of living being the unknown in the unknown is scary. But it doesn't mean that there's anything there

that's gonna hurt you. It just means that you don't know what's there. And I understand that you were rightfully terrified. You're just a mere mammal. And, you know, I get it, I get it, I get it. Is there, you know what the earth person could do though? Yes. Is they technically on the down low could be producing diamonds?

Because if they can sort of move the earth, they can slam two earth movements together and create huge amounts of pressure. Instead of have a little side business of, I mean, the fact that they didn't monetize their powers. Absolutely. Any one of those things would be, you know, a licensed to print money. But I think you're right. The Earth one, when watching the show, always felt like a bit of a dud to me.

But from a financial perspective, and I think looking at it now, it's a no-brainer. Well, the fact that they wouldn't sort of be involved with sort of moving land to create new real estate opportunities for people. New continents, new mountain ranges. And what it kind of captures, and maybe even flattening out mountain ranges to make these areas habitable.

Yes. Habitable. Habitable. Habitable. Habitable. Is that what I think Captain Planet captures is these children very early on and their discovery of their powers and they're quite naive state in which they think

that they can really save the world. Right, but be interesting to revisit them later on. Revisit them once they're, you know? They've got families. They've got families and they need to have make money. Yeah. And, you know, and the thing is that it's, you know, you're going to try and make it the easiest way possible so that you can create a greater quality of life for your families. Mm-hmm.

You know, and being able to take land that no one else wants is low value, and make it into land that can be transformed for, let's say, to have a huge estate built on there, a housing development. Exactly, a huge housing development. But even if it's not at that large, that enormous developer's scale, why not say just a landscaping business? Yeah. That's right.

Moving, moving, I mean, doesn't work on Pineback. We don't know. But certainly topsoil, flattening out topsoil, and putting in one of those raised garden beds could absolutely be a valid profession. And you could get the water person to come in and put water the plants. Water the plants, maybe put in a little stream. Can they make a pond? Can they make an area that has a continuous, what, reroute a river?

I mean, let's be honest, the planet is with the power of those rings. Could have... We could have just strapped, was it? What was her name, the one who had the power of water? Blanca, no, no, no. Blanca, we could strap Blanca to a chair. Yeah. Lash are armed down, her ring's pointing at a turbine

and generate vast amounts of clean green electricity. So could she get water just emitting from her ring? Am I wrong? I don't know. I don't know. I wasn't sure if they just had the power to control them through some kind of ring-based telekinesis. I definitely remember fireman using his fire to sort of weld things together in some way

from his way. I think they could shoot it out. His is definitely, it's like fire, it feels like you're using mostly things in the air. It's like he's just got a lighter on his finger. He's got a lot of it. Yeah, he's creating sparks which, you know, he's probably just got like two batteries or something. This would be great to do a superhero series where it's not that people have actual

powers. It's just that a bunch of very regular people have teleported, have traveled back in time to a pre-technological times and And they have very, you know, pretty basic modern day technology, but they appear like superheroes to everyone around them. So, you know, the guy with the power of fire could just be a guy with a lighter. Yeah.

But he, you know, goes back to, I guess, 4000 AD, and he's suddenly fire boy. Yeah. And I don't know, I don't know what else, somebody with a battery torch, battery powered torch. He's thinking, he's thinking, a solar powered torch. Are gonna run out very quickly.

No, no, no, he's got a solar powered torch as you recharge during the day. And then he's night light, right? Night light. And I mean, if you can see, if you have a torch that you can take, you can see at night, that is the equivalent of invisibility, teleportation, because you can travel across great distances, see things and remain unseen. Oh, you can be seen from a distance if you have a torch. They can see your torch, but they can't see you. No, that's true.

And then you can turn it off as well. That's true. Move a bit, turn it back on again. That doesn't have to be a very powerful light as well. Yeah, but I think in a cloudy night when it's totally blackout. Your ability with your tiny, tiny little light that you know, you would otherwise use to switch to find where to put the keys into your car. So your key ring. You can think about it. If you went back far enough, you just had an axe. Yes. You might have a superpower.

Yeah. You got the, you just a guy, you got your grandfather's axe. You know? And you've wound up in the past. And then suddenly you can chop down trees. You can people, you know? I mean, people might find you while you're sleeping and kill you just to get it. That's the one thing.

Yeah. You're a superhero, but you can still have to sleep and they kill you and you're asleep. Absolutely would have been a time at which the ability to cut wood would be mind blowing. Because I think from the point of view of you know ancient people I Tree is as solid as a rock. Yeah, cuz what are you gonna do? How are you gonna get through the tree? You got scratch? Scratch at it with your nails. Yeah, no

I mean you'd be so blown by that it would have been blown away by a beaver. Mm-hmm I mean just how ambitious a beaver is I love it Do you think it's the most ambitious animal? It's gonna be, yeah, yeah. I mean, yeah, other than man, other than man. Maybe there are even more ambitious than man. Yeah. Choose something with wood.

I think they got a bit. They're not a bit. That is made of wood. I wonder what the thickest tree a beaver's ever chewed through is. Everything they've ever done is Sequoia, probably not. I think maybe there are some, are there any multi-generational beaver projects where they start working on a big tree

and you leave your chew marks to be finished off, you get quite intimidating when you're even quite deep into the trunk. You've got to, it's like going mining. You've got to, you know, go set for meters deep into this giant sequoia. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You would, maybe you would, you know, you would definitely kind of keep working the outside as much as you could to keep working the outside.

Yeah, but I guess if you made the edge, yeah, right in the center, that's fucked. That's fucked. If you've made your weeks in the center, suddenly can go anyway. But I guess if you know it's a multi-generational project, you're not gonna have to deal with that. Probably. Yeah, you go, look. Well, there's a chance, but you go, my son will take over to his. But I mean, but I guess it'll be like, oh, look, my son can drag this to the, yeah, then drag this Sequoia to the,

to the, to the damn, but you'll block, you can block two, three rivers with one of those. Sequoia. Mm. Do you think the Sequoia sounds like the name of a bad guy that you would yell out loud? Sequoia! Sequoia!

Yeah. Like that, you know? I think so. It feels like a Sequoia should take your wife or your, or your daughter, so that you could yell that. It feels like a Sequoia should take your wife or your daughter So that you could yell that it's kind of what they were made to do The thing tree huggers just starts out with a hug. Mm-hmm, but soon Sequoia

And I said do we have some words from a listener? Oh My god, we do actually I you know what I just realized that maybe we have done this one already, but oh Oh my God, we do, actually. You know what, I just realized that maybe we have done this one already, but I... Okay. I thought we hadn't, I thought we hadn't, but I had a terrible system. Well, I think the system is such a... You know, a certain point, a system becomes sufficiently terrible. It can no longer be called a system.

And then... But no, this is a positive thing, I must say, because then it comes a fantastic pile. A new thing. It becomes a new thing, something either a sub or super system. Hmm. Let's go sub. Well, we can't, we let history decide. Well, we have three words from Rich Compo. Rich Compo.

If we've done Rich Compo, that name does not rig a bell. I mean, those could be the words. Yeah, no, it's not. Rich Compo. No, Rich Compo. Beautiful listener, I see. But thank you, Rich, for these fantastic words. Are you prepared to try and guess Andy? Thank you Rich. For the first word, maybe. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I am. Really think about this one.

All right. That's not a hint. No, okay. Cloven? No, no, no, but there is, feels like there's some attachment to it. Yeah, okay, great. Biological. Biological, clock, clock, biological clock.

No, but again, there's a connection in that it's an object, some sort. Camera. Biological camera. I'm just gonna go out on a limb here because I don't feel like I've got it. Monarch. No, no, that's not it. Lens. Biological camera lens.

Yeah. Wow. So, I mean, you can donate your cornyers to, when you die you they can take them out and put them in other people's eyes, right? That's really great. Which is full on. It's quite it's quite something but they're just a bit of lens, right? Yeah, just a little bit a little bit of biological Lupi is it gloopy? No, I guess it would be quite hard. It's hard. It's hard. I think it's flexible. Is it? I think it because you're right. Does your eye change shape? I don't know anything. I think it's flexible. Is it? I think it, because your eye, does your eye change shape? I don't know anything.

I don't know anything. All right, how do eyes work? I just poke, just poke your eye a little bit. Yeah. And yeah, I think there's, I mean, look, that whole outer bit is soft gooey bit, right? And if you look at it from the side, you can see that it's mostly clear like a marble.

So it's like a gelatin. It's kind of like, it's like flavorless jello. So it does have a bit of flexibility. So it has some kind of jello lens as well as, or you know, or something, whatever it is. It's a clear material that protects the harder bit that's deep inside. I think, I don't know if that's cornea right at the front, but who knows? But feel like the cornea would be behind the black hole. But there's a lens, there's a lens

is separate to the cornea. Because I think things become upside down inside the eye. Yes, they do. And then it's projected onto some back wall. Bit of the eye, and then the brain has to flip it around or by itself. Yeah, all by itself. Should really, you know, the eye should be a compound eye,

with a second eye in front of the eye, that flips it upside down, then the eye can flip it around the other way, and then the brain can see it properly. Yeah, that would be nice, yeah, but I think it's already a bit of a mess because of, I think we've already got blood vessels in between where our lenses and our wall is. So there's like stuff that gets in the way. It's like it's not super well designed. I wonder if there are any animals with zoom, you know, because if you did have a second

lens in front of your lens, and you were able to squish and move that lens around. Tell us, Scott, you know, maybe if your eyes did have a kind of a fleshy sort of, if the eyelid, how about this? The eyelid is made of sort of penis material. So it's fleshy and can become erect and extend. And then at the, they sort of, the eyelids poke out and then at the end of that, there's another lens. That would be good. If you see something really interesting, your eyes become horny They sort of the eyelids poke out and then at the end of that there's another lens. Yeah, right? That would be good. If you see something really interesting. Yeah, your eyes become horny for it. Horny for looking. Yeah, yeah

So let's say something that makes you horny for looking it could be gut horny could be hungry Got horny you want to look at it more closely your eyes become erect or your eyelids become erect now You can see that thing more closely. Feels like it would be useful in an eagle. In an eagle, exactly. You know, horny-eyed eagle, the horny-eyed eagle. I think that's a great design.

Yeah, thanks. And it kind of just is long like a gun barrel. Mm, exactly. Yeah, you got two of them as well. So I think that would be quite a good effect. Yeah. And so maybe this is a, you know, maybe we could, it feels like it's the first, you know, new species we could try to create.

You know, figure out, you know, and we basically give them this ability. We attach all the... We put some of our penis DNA into their eyes. Human penis DNA into their eyes. In a nice way. And we just see what happens. We see how they go. They say horny idea. Yeah, horny idea. It's the worst payment ever. Yeah, and then we, because I mean, they're not gonna, they're born. They don't know anything, right?

Right. And we attach, okay, so we put some of the, some of the penis thing we, instead of attaching it to reproduction, we attach it to hunger, we attach it to the hunger that comes from finally seeing the food, right? You know how you when you see food Suddenly you get a bit more hungry. Mm-hmm. You see a toilet like need to do a bit more If you know you're near the toilet. Yeah, suddenly it's more intense, right? There's that thing when you're waiting for food in a restaurant, you get more hungry than if you're just walking about in the world. Oh, far away from food. What do you say this Alistair? What's this relevant? I don't know, Andy. I don't know.

Did we have a restaurant experience last night? That was quite traumatic. It made us feel like we had aged 30 years and we were 50-year-olds who were complaining at a restaurant about how long it was taking. And so then this baby eagle, and then later on, grow an eagle, has to figure out how to use its eye. I mean, there's a lot of design that's going to go into making their eyes, their pointy eyes, sort of work. But I actually think that one of the great things about doing things biologically like this is you just give the animal the sort of the functionality and it Because it grows and has to learn It works out how to use it. Yeah, and we I don't think we have to think about it too much

No, we just let it just chuck the DNA in there and and then it'll it'll work out how to use the DNA. Put a bit of male human penis human penis DNA in there. Put a bit a few, a few new hormones, attach them to you know anchor them to tummy. Tummy stuff instead. Yeah and then just put a wire to the tummy instead of to the to the to the to the to the chest factory. Exactly. Even the ability to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the an era as a baby horny, horny-eyed eagle. Yeah. It's a neural network. I mean, they'll discover how to focus or how when they're hungry it makes them blind, completely blind. Exactly. And they like, they can't see anything and it's best not to be flying when you're hungry. Don't fly hungry. Never fly hungry. Never go, never leave home, never go to bed angry. Don't fly hungry.

That's the two things that you would teach young eagles. Yeah. And mothers would teach them. Yeah. Don't send that email. Don't send that email. Well, I think, look, I hope that that's an okay idea for you, Rich Compo.

Thank you, Rich Compo. Rich Compo, I want to know, is that your real name, Rich Compo? Is that your real name, rich compo? Is that your real name? I know there's a few tricksters. Few tricksters on the Patreon who put in name. Rich compo, it sounds like a sketch idea that we would come up with.

Yeah, it definitely does. It also just sounds like something that could occur. But is it, you know, offensive to suggest that somebody's name sounds like a fake name? I don't think so. I think it's fun. I think it means that your name is filled with creativity. Creativity. Yeah, you're right. There's more chance that you'll appear in

literature and songs. And then there's more chance that you will live forever through art. I know your footprint will remain on this cloud. Are you immortal? Are you immortal? your footprint will remain on this cloud. Are you immortal? Are you immortal of it's combo? Jesus Christ, which combo? I feel insignificant compared to you, Rich Capo. So I think that's all the sketch. Take it through the sketch itself.

We got the Nobel Prize for Silence, which is gonna be part of a new line of Nobel prizes that are trying to help parents have better behave kids. We got the potent imagery door to door salesmen. Yes. We go from door to door, try to sell some potent imagery door to door salesmen. Yes. Go from door to door trying to sell some potent imagery. Anything people might need and in exchange for a small fee. Just to get them by. Just to get them by.

Do you have any sandwiches you haven't finished? I always say we say this is a joke, but I would love to do this as a job. Not necessarily door to door because I don't feel comfortable going to people's homes, but businesses, advertising places, I can come up with potent imagery. You know what would be nice? If you didn't have to going to people's homes, but businesses, advertising places. I can come up with potent imagery. You know what would be nice? If you didn't have to go to people's doors, because that's feels intrudely. But if you could yell from the street and then ask if you could come to the door.

What about a kind of a Mr. Whippy van? An ice cream van. We go around with playing a song. And you're something a little foreboding. And then the pair of adults run out to the same industry. And we describe some imagery too. Oh, yeah, that's nice. I think that's really, I want to live in that world, Andy. I want to live in that world. And then the doors that we, because we're still door to door. So maybe we just have two doors on the band. Yeah, you go. And then people can line up like that. Each person takes a turn. They let it walk with door to door. So maybe we just have two doors on the van. Yeah, yeah. And then people can line up like that. Each person takes it. Turn the line up. And then we walk with door to door.

Yeah, we're still going door to door. Yeah. Instead of serving two people, we were always both serving one person. Yeah. Because, you know, you need two minds because there's, you know, there's only limits to what you can create. And there's limits to what I can create. Mm. Then we got the long-legged and armed babies, adults, that are adults.

So this is just a new choice of body style that is kind of essentially body style. Body style. Come here. This is come to our store. It's a shop that allows, you know, it's genetic altering kind of shop in the future. And then we're saying, come here, get your body changed. Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, like that. And then we got planeteers and their money making later years, you know. And this is when, you know.

Well, you can't be activist forever. At some point you gotta stop. You gotta earn. Exactly, you know what? The old mighty dollar, am I right? Yeah, some of them are, you know, I think the kid who has heart, he's probably going to use that to export sort of rare species over to Collectors and, you know, Asia and sort of Europe and things.

Yeah, all because he can get the the animals to come to him. Yeah, he can probably get like quite a rare turkey to fly. This is sort of, you know, this is quite a rare turkey. Yeah, but a rare turkey actually. I'm gonna get in the flight to sort of Lord Howe Island, where they don't have those in there. I got a buyer there. Then we got...

I don't quite a rare turkey. Not very rare. It's a quite rare turkey. You know people talk about black swan events. You know, oh, black swan event happened. You know, or this, oh, oh, I think everything should go fine unless there's a black swan event. In Australia, almost all the swans are black.

Well, I think that's what, where the saying comes from, Elastair. Yeah, no, I think it was before, from before that when they didn't think that black swans were possible. Well, I thought I thought they came to show it. And then they saw the right in Australia and there are lots of them. That was the event.

I think that might be it. But then it makes it. Maybe a room. Maybe a room too. Anyway, then we got people from the future. Superheroes. These are people who are regular people. They're not really superheroes, but they've gone back in time with something.

Even if it's just language, language, a fork. Yes. A knife and fork. Imagine how that would change their world. A clean, shaven chin. Imagine how they would steal all of the women. Yeah. Well.

And men. And men. Have their own, but then they would start to grow out and they would appear to be fraught. But there's another guy with a riser. That's his superpower. It's pretty blunt. It's pretty blunt. But if you want to keep that clean, chained shape, you're gonna let him give you a scribe every once in a while. Yeah, why are you blading that? And then we got the Hony ID Eagle, which is our first genetically engineered creature. So we just wanted to see if weagle, which is our first genetically engineered creature.

It was just wanted to see if we could, if we could just make our own kind of species. We just wanted to know Zoom would work. Yeah, but also we need to re, we need to repopulate the earth with biodiversity, but may as well have a bit of fun with it. You know, I think a lot of ecologists are pretty conservative and boring about how they go about things I think it's bringing it up. It's bringing the Law lot out of lots of fun A lot, I can't do it ecology. I didn't really know what you were doing but... Pupo Papetipo to to put up a tte

Pupo to put up a tte Pupo to put up a tte Tte tte tte Pupo to put up a tte Oh, do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do I don't think so. Ruh, ruh, ruh, ruh, ruh, ruh, ruh, ruh, ruh, ruh, ruh, ruh, ruh, ruh, ruh, ruh, ruh, ruh, ruh, ruh, ruh, ruh, ruh, ruh, ruh, ruh, ruh, ruh, ruh, ruh, ruh, ruh, ruh, Thank you so much, I'm listening to the thing, tank. God is good, that you do that. We like it a lot, and if you could get tickets to teleport,

get tickets to teleport. Download the pop test. Thank you to everybody who's been so supportive and sending us nice messages about that show. Thank you to everyone who has so far bought tickets to teleport. You can jump on the discord, have a little chat with the tits collars on the discord. That's everything. It's absolutely everything. Thank you so much for everything that you are. Take care of yourselves and we love you. We love you. $750 on average, and auto customers qualify for an average of seven discounts. Multitask right now. Quote today at Progressive.com.

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