Two In The Think Tank - 283 - “INTO THE PIAFVERSE”

Episode Date: April 27, 2021

Guilt-free Time, Sodasteam, Perpertual Piss Pachine, Statue with Limitations, Death Fashion, Ne Vinaigreste Rien, Salad Bouquet, Buffet Rescue, Alien Magnet, When Are You Due (to be buried)Listen and subscribe to THE POP TEST on Radio National or as a PodcastJoin the other TITTT scholars on the TITTT discord server hereGet Magma here: https://sospresents.com/programs/magmaHey, why not listen to Al's meditation/comedy podcast ShusherDon't forget TITTT Merch is now available on Red Bubble. Head over here and grab yourselves some material objects...and you can support the pod by chipping in to our patreon here (thank you!)You can find us on twitter at @twointankAndy Matthews: @stupidoldandyAlasdair Tremblay-Birchall: @alasdairtb and instaAnd you can find us on the Facebook right herePerpetual thanks to George for producing this episode. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Progressive casualty and trans company and affiliates national average 12 months savings of $744 by new customer surveyed who saved with progressive between June 2022 and May 2023 potential savings will vary discounts not available in all safe and situations. Alistair. This is just me Alistair, Trumbly virtual just starting the episode by saying again we don't have anything to plug this week. That's all done. Comedy Festival is finished. Obviously, Magma is always there for you to get SOS presents.com, but no, no, no, no, but we're not plugging that.

We're not plugging that because we don't have anything to plug again. That would be like a fish plugging water you know it's it's surrounds us at all times it's everywhere it's always doesn't make any sense no that's right anyway but that fish instead is immersed in the pop test and magma anyway we don't have anything to plug this week so drinker big cup of water drinker big cup but drinker big cup of water drinker big cup Put it in your little lips and drink it all up you do

I yeah really really stuff that one up I don't know how you could have Andy. Hello. This is two in the thing tank The podcast where we come up with five sketch ideas. I'm Alistair George William, Tromblie virtual. And I'm Andy and Al, do you reckon this being like sort of a transition? Maybe over, maybe the last three years,

maybe over a much longer period of time that I'm only just becoming aware of, where I am now the member of the group who can't be trusted to do anything. No, Andy, I want you to know that even just on this very day, my beloved's mother said that you are in many ways the leader of the group, but I'm the goofy charm. Well, that's great. As long as that illusion is maintained for all exterior purposes you I know you're a mess. I know you're truly a

PODL of goo But but not everybody does everybody just hears that that that slick That slick ability toe to pop out a script without a without a mistake And they think There's a master at work But then I'm the one who knows that's the one thing you can do. I'm a fucking house, Galaste. There was a time when I was called by somebody the most reliable man in comedy. And it has been downhill catastrophically since then. Well, don't worry Andy, none of us are that.

But, and that's okay. You don't want to be the most something. We need to sketch it. No, that's true. We need to sketch it. We're not even doing what the podcast is for, which is. Sorry, Alistair, you see, you're right. And this is all my fault.

And once again, I've done it. I've brought us to this place and I apologize. All right, whatever it right, it's a drug that makes you more reliable. Punctual. What about? I mean, I guess that feels like just some kind of OCD type thing. I mean, but sometimes it feels like a little bit of OCD would be quite useful. Maybe if we could just medically imbibe, you know. Yeah. Wait. So wait, what is it?

It's a thing that makes you more reliable. It's a little bit of, or maybe gives you a little bit of OCD so that you can be more punctual and stuff, but then I don't know if people with OCD actually are more punctual and whether or, whether they're late to things, because they're at home switching the lights on and off seven times before they leave the house.

They hate it when you say nice things about them, like that. Yeah. I mean, is punctual, punctual, is that even a nice thing in this day and age to say that somebody is punctual? I think feels like almost an insult. Some people value it, but I think when you call somebody punctual, I think what you're really saying is they're not hot. That's think I think when you call somebody punctual, I think what you're really saying is they're not hot. That's what I would take. If you go, you had to look so deep

for a compliment that you're just telling me I'm not hot. And you know that's what I value, being hot. Yeah, yeah. I mean, I'd rather be late and beautiful. Right? That's what you're saying. Then hideous and on time. Hideously on time. Yeah, it just, it feels like you're also feels like you're a nerd. Like being on time is for nerds. Being on time is for nerds. Being late is edgy. It's edgy, it's cool and it always will be. Tell you what sucks though, waiting for people. I like it.

Waiting for people is the worst. No, I love it because it's no responsibilities. You're there, you've got free time and it's not your fault. Yeah, you don't have to do anything. I don't even love it. It's even better than it not being your fault. It's definitely somebody else's fault Yeah, right that is that's the best You know you should be a there should be a service that books in meetings with you Yeah, like you can you can you can somehow do this you call them up and they'll book in a meeting with you

Yeah block out a chunk of time with a hard start time. You've got to be there, and then you show up there, and it'll be somewhere you want to hang out anyway, so it's okay. And then they show up really late, if at all. You know, maybe they just send a text to cancel. But here's the problem with this one, like I love it, Andy, I do love I'm and I'm gonna start even writing it down

I've at least written the dash Right that's that's all I need my body's already releasing the endorphin But because at the dash just the hyphen now. I'm a Pavlovian dog. Yeah, you just release in all the good chemicals Hmm salivating endorphins. What's the other one? Serotonin. Dopamine. And urine. Just a really good one.

The good one. Because that feels good too. Enderant. The other good one. Yes. It's a good one to release though and it does feel good to release it. So it's not that dissimilar from dopamine and serotonin. I don't know what it would be like on the brain or in the brain, but still,

I wouldn't want to not try it. What I was going to try to say is that with this company, the thing is the problem with it is that you can never contact them to organize this meeting because if you know that the company, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, if you know the company does this, the company. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. If you know the company does this, what they have to be doing is they're providing a societal service and they are calling people, cold calling people and given a hard sell on this meeting. And you. Yeah, and they got to, they got to mix it up every time because you never, you're never going to suspect that it's them. It's gonna be a new, it's gonna be a new, they've gotta have a new front every time. Yep.

Or at least new actors, or at least new people do a great new voices that they've been working on, new characters. And they gotta, and then they gotta put a, they gotta be convincing boy. They gotta be convinced. This would be a great sort of part-time job for improvisers. Just get them on the phones.

Improvisers impersonators, you could stock an entire call center with them. I also almost feel like the way you were phrasing like that, this needs to be a government service. We pay our taxes. Why can't the government guarantee me just a bit of guilt free, free time? I mean, that should be a fundamental human right. I mean, forget reliable broadband. What about a little bit of peace and bloody quiet? What about a moment to myself? What about the human right to a just a just just some time to just be without feeling like you've got to do something or be

somewhere you're already there and there's nothing you can do. Hope you're not waking your kids with this enthusiasm. With this enthusiasm of how much you'd love a bit of free time. My kids can scream extremely loudly right next to each other and not wake each other up. Not screaming because anything awful is happening by the way, in our household. No. Screaming from just sort of, kids just contain a certain amount of scream that needs to be vented.

It's like steam. Was that, in Monsters Inc? Was it, you know, it was scream powered? Yeah. Was that sort of a pun on steam powered? I guess, I guess so. Because that was kind of the basis of their like industrial revolution was scream, right? Yeah. Like everything was, I mean, now that you say the steam, maybe they didn't even realize that. No, I think they must have realized because they've kind of got like canisters

like compressed air, which is I guess how you would store steam if you could store it long term. Yeah, that's the problem is that steam gets cold, doesn't it? Would be kind of cool to be able to just keep it though, in a thing, just keep it hot steam. How long could it stay hot in a thermos? Really good question.

And we're like one of those vicarnaves. I bet you're NASA could make one that you could get a nice, you know, let's say so that you could make a cappuccino in space. Mm. And you send them up with the bottle of steam. Well, I mean, even a... You could prop the milk. A version of, I don't know what this would be,

but like a version of like soda stream, but it's soda steam, right? And it's doing your cappuccino's at home. So you buy a canister of steam from the, from the server station, you go, you put it canister of steam from the server station. You go, you put it in your soda steam thing, and then you have a certain amount of steam that you can use. This is not funny or interesting or useful,

but it does feel a little bit clever. Yeah, I've got it. I've written it down, canister of steam. I think it's a really stupid product. Stop using all that electricity at home, making steam or having to get the coal done. Yeah, I mean, is there a reason why you would take a thermos of steam to work or something so you know. Make a cappuccino at your desk. Shhh. Shhh. Always true.

We're losing so much productivity by having people getting up, going to either the coffee shop or to the sort of the company coffee machine. What would be great Alist, would be if you could, I mean, what I'm gonna describe now is just basically a bomb. But, but you know how like, is it, is it Guinness Beer has like some sort of little thing inside it that I think might even contain

extra bubbles or something. What does it have? Does it have a little widget or something in a can of Guinness beer? Is there a little thing in there that makes it extra bubbly? Because it feels like you could have, like, you could sell a can of coffee, right? It's got milk and stuff in there. Yeah. And then when you crack the top, the little canister of steam

Just releases the steam froths the coffee heats the milk and you could just you know if you just you just need to be able to store the steam in there Yeah for months of storage on the shelf or you know in a vending machine or whatever. Yeah Well, I mean, I think I think the the Guinness it's got that nitro Maybe is it is it me with the nitro in some way. Those nitro buttons. Maybe that would be nitrogen bubbles. Yeah. Very possible. I never thought of nitro being nitrogen.

Anyway, go continue. He sounded like you were about to say something. Well, I wrote down the word pissing earlier while we were talking. Because we were talking about how good pissing feels. Yeah. And it does feel so good that, you know, that first release of like, you needed to piss

and you release that piss. And I think it'd be so good to be able to have that feeling all the time, right? And I think to achieve this, a pipe, we would need a pipe. We would need. A pipe. We would need a pipe. I'm so glad you're on the same page as me, Alastair.

Well, I've been thinking pipe this entire time. I mean, when I called you, when the phone was ringing, I don't know why, but pipe just entered my head. And I didn't realize that was the universe telling me that you were going to bring up. It was prepping you. Bring up a device, like a perpetual motion machine that allows...

This is exactly it, Alastair. This is exactly it. That it allows this to come out of your penis constantly or of Olva, you know? Constantly. Constantly. And then comes back up into... And it's pressurized. You know, there's a little pump or something.

Oh. You know, maybe it needs a bit. I mean, it could be perpetual. It could be perpetual, perpetual, last day. But I feel like there'd be a loss of... I know, but you can squeeze the muscle a little bit to give it a little extra. You can.

When it loses a bit of... Little push. When it stops feeling not as good, you can just give it a little push. Yeah. So nobody knows this, but everywhere you go, you're always pissing and the piss is coming out. Have your, your, your, your, your, your reythra around and then into through a little thing in your back somewhere, I think.

Yeah. And then back into your bladder, which is always pressured and it's always pressurized. My God. I think mental health would disappear. Because people with mental health of any kind, good or bad. Because people would feel good. People would feel good constantly. That's right. With the perpetual business.

The technicalities to work out, because people are still gonna need, still gotta produce urine as well. Because people are still drinking liquids of that sort of thing. And you couldn't just leave this thing on all the time, because the pressure would just build up and up and up. Why? So they need...

Because their body's producing new urine, like it's not actually... You've got to close system at the moment, Alistair. So you've got to release it at some point as well. Yeah, but you could blow off a little bit of extra piss. Yeah, I mean, you could probably have a, like off, you know, the engine on the pump, that would produce heat.

You could probably release some of it as steam as you walk around. Right. Right. So then you actually never need to go to the 12th. So you're saving time in your life as well. Yeah. And that just acknowledges that.

And you just did a cloud of piss team. Yeah, but the knowledge of that, the knowledge of that would also make you feel good. Yeah, that's true. It's double feel good. I mean, there's a bit of a downer on being in the cloud of piss team, but also if you're always in a cloud of piss team.

It's behind you. Everyone else is always in a cloud of piss team. If everybody's in a cloud of piss team, then nobody's in a cloud of piss team. If you're moving forward, if you're moving forward, you're not in your own piss team. That's another, you know, you're like a shark. You can't stop or you'll smell your own piss. Just like a shark.

They actually can't, they never get to smell their own piss. I guess they can go around in circles, but yeah, but then you're going around in circles, you know, and that that feels bad. Doesn't feel right. Yeah. I mean, do they know? Do they know that they're they're pissing? Oh, what that all charge all that moment where they feel absolutely amazing. Do they always pee in the water? Do they, do they know that they're pissing? Oh, they know, they know. Yeah.

But what I want to know is whether they know that they're swimming through the thing that they're pissing in, you know? Like basically a big ocean of shark piss. Yeah. But then it occurred to me that like when you do pee in the ocean, that is one of the best peas, you know. And so they probably feel great about it.

Well, they've got it even better because when you pee in the ocean, you think, is this going to attract sharks? Which for them, which for them is like, oh, that could be be a mate Yeah, or just a new friend. Yeah, which also can be expressed through the word mate Has has is I actually wasn't I haven't actually thought I've ever ever Given any thought to the the problem of attracting sharks with piss when I'm piss I don't know I think the assumption I don't know, I think the assumption. I don't want to give the impression I do this heaps as well, but you know, it's happened.

I don't know, I couldn't name a time in the last 10 years when you would have gone in the ocean. Yeah. Have you been in the ocean in the last 10 years? I think I'm mostly stuck to fresh bodies of fresh water. Really? I can't imagine you going into a fresh body of water. It happens. Have you been into a, when's the last time you were in a pool?

Couple of years ago, I think we went to, I didn't, I didn't know this was something that you perceived about me as a, as about me as a dry land kind of creature. Andy, it's not that I've perceived it. It's not like something I thought about, but if I think about your history, I can't even imagine you wearing swimmers. I mean, you see, you have been around me when I've gone into bodies of water, obviously, my famous attempt to stay underwater that was unsuccessful. Oh, yeah, that's... Yeah. But... But then also that time that you peer-pressured me onto jumping off that really

high rock, and I hit the water like thigh first and just got such severe bruising. Oh, it was spectacular. I mean, it was unbelievable. It was like a purple leg. Yeah. And I forgot about that. And I just, and I mean, there's a big chance that you could have died on that, in that, you know, in that experience.

Yeah. Either of those experiences. I think the reason that you don't think of me as somebody who goes in water is because you've actually been around me when I've had really unsuccessful attempts to go in water. And on some level, that's imprinted itself into your brain as saying that, you know, Andy and water don't mix. I'm like olive oil in a salad dressing.

Actually, I can think of a third time that we're probably in Perth and we weren't probably swimming with with John Conway, maybe at the beach. Yeah, at the beach. I remember being there, but I don't remember swimming. Interesting. Because I remember John Conway was the person who told me the most reliable man in comedy. Oh, there you go. Incredibly. He never comes up on the podcast ever and then twice in one episode. Yeah. And in that same episode, we, and well, when we arrived at that beach, he was like, oh, I had an experience with a lady in that bush over there. And then as we drove past it. And then he said, oh, and she's passed away now. Anyway, yeah, those things were connected, but it was just that it was a,

yeah, at the time, I found it to be a shocking bit of talking, you know, that made me laugh in a way, but there were, you know, obviously, isn't funny when somebody's dead, but. Hmm. Hmm. Oh, I don't, I mean, there must be some people who it's funny when they die. They must. Everything, you know, I'm sure that there'll be someone who's found a way to get a laugh out of it. Yeah.

Right? People are always trying. Funny last words. Mmm. Yeah. But you want the dying itself to be funny. Yeah, I'm going to do that, I think. Yeah.

I'm gonna yell. No, you'll never take me. You'll never. Oh, that's the good. No. Oh, you son of a bitch. Yeah, yeah, that's good. I mean, there's the classic, you know,

shitting yourself when you die. What about pretending to die at the same time? It's not automatically funny. Doing a, like, you know, doing like one of those dramatic fake deaths as you die? Mm. I would love that. It's gonna be hard to pull off

because you're gonna need a certain amount of energy that isn't necessarily abundantly available to those who are dying. Certainly those who know that they're about to die. Yeah. You know, if you know that they're about to die. Yeah. You know, if you know that you're about to die, there's usually been a preceding period of time in which some of that abundance of energy. I mean, it's almost a lack of an abundance of energy. Is what death is?

It's what kills you, you know. Well, I think there's that part where like you start to become really relaxed and it's kind of like you're falling asleep, right? And then you kind of fade in and out of consciousness. That sounds good. And well this is people like you know dying in hospices and things like that and you kind of you start getting a bit of that saliva collecting at the back of your throat because you're you're not swallowing as much and so you kind of get that like that kind of thing because you're so relaxed and you don't care. But then that's when I would say because you're so relaxed and you don't care. But then that's when I would say, inject me with like some speed or methane phetomy.

And then pretend to shoot. Give me a little kick. Pretend to shoot an arrow at me or something like that. Yeah, or stab you with a sword like under the arm. Yeah, and then that's when, that's when, you know, I mean, you get one last applause or whatever Yeah, ballissimo That's good. It's good round of applause. Yeah, it's not quite a laugh, but yeah, we'll take it all

I mean, what about this? What about you just keep people give me a little bit of speed and I'll have some soup And then I'll have a slurper soup and I go, oh what's in this? And then it's like the soup has killed you? Yeah. Yeah. Is that funny? Well, I mean, you could say I hope this soup doesn't kill me. Is that funny or?

I think it is a little bit. I hope this soup doesn't kill me. Oh, is that funnier? I think it is a little bit. I hope this soup doesn't kill me. You know what, we'll have to do it on the day. We'll both try. We'll both try a different version and whoever gets a bigger laugh, I suppose wins. Yeah, but I mean, also, you know, there's not necessarily, you know,

nobody's going to be around to enjoy it. That's the other problem Why what you gonna die alone are you? No, I mean sorry you're you or I neither of us will be around Well, I'm I or you might be around I'm certainly not planning to get a laugh out of dying if I die alone That wasn't what I was hoping for well, I would I think that's a great thing I mean, I you know, then I'd go and do it somewhere in public. Could be that moth. Could be that cheeky moth.

So you're going to die in public alone. Maybe. Maybe. Yeah. And one of those gold painted suits on the, on the, on the street. That, that's actually pretty good. That is, that is actually probably the funniest way to do it. Yeah.

As a goal- Make statue. Alistair, I think you've hit on it. Yeah. Because you'd make so much money as well. But just laying there on the pavement. But for what? Well, you could prop yourself up.

Yeah. I guess, I guess the money that you make, it could go to your family to pay for funeral costs. Mm, exactly. I mean, you could, it'd be good to have, you could die, right there. You're arranged to, you paint yourself gold, you're arranged to die there on the street.

You put that hat that takes the money over sort of like a little drain pipe or something. And then you just have the money sort of, there's a hole in the bottom of the hat and you somehow have the money sucked away. And then collated and then put into a bank account. And you could be earning well after death. Oh yeah. This is probably, as they keep extending the retirement age,

this is probably where we're gonna end up, where people will be expected to keep working. To keep being goal painted statues on the street busking. Well, there's gotta be something for these people to do after they're dead. You've gotta continue to be a contributing member of society. Yeah, I think it's when you, you know, you still take in terms of like, you know,

emotions that you're draining from the people you've left behind. Yeah, and the people, I guess, who sort of start to suspect that you're dead on the street. Yeah. Smell you and stuff. But you get a really strong smelling paint on you Cover yourself in very strong smelling paint and that will cover the smell for at least a couple of weeks I mean you probably could just seal yourself in there. Yeah, that's true. I Get you know you'd start to bloat. I suppose the the internal. Yeah, but what if you wore space?

suppose the internal. But what if you wore spank? Terrier and stuff. Ah, yes. I think we've cracked it. I think not necessarily the secret of eternal life, but we have definitely prolonged death considerably. Well, at least keep your look in your best without that death bloat.

Yeah. And you're not here. Very mead spanks, baby. That's going to be my boy's said. And, you know, and I'm not going to, you know, I can wear a tape fitting pants and then not show any lines. It's, it's, it's a great, it's a great aspiration. Yeah. I think, is it in here? I had a thought, yeah, not the secret of eternal life, but the secret of eternal life likeness

remained eternally life-like. Which is pretty good. Yeah, I mean, is that? I think this is definitely a sketch, by the way. Well, no, it's definitely written at death. Gold painted statue death to raise, you know, maybe to raise money for a funeral thing. But should I put in, is the spank thing a separate thing?

I don't think so. I think that's part of it. Unless, I don't know. Unless there's a new kind of vanity, they'd be like, I mean, this could definitely be a thing, I must say. But deathware, you know, we could, you know, there's a lot of products, advertise people advertising funeral insurance and that sort of thing to elderly people, yeah, prepaying for your own funeral, whatever it is. I guess that's the same thing as funeral insurance, almost. But we could also then why not advertise fashion

for the dead? What know, what are you going to be wearing? Especially stuff that looks good on your bones when people dig you up. Exactly. Or when you're assumed. Is there like a cool thing that you could be melted with when you get cremated? That like, you know, makes like a, like a, you makes like a countertop or something. This episode is brought to you by Progressive. Most of you aren't just listening right now.

You're driving, cleaning, and even exercising. But what if you could be saving money by switching to Progressive? Drivers who save by switching saved nearly $750 on average, and auto customers qualify for an average of 7 discounts. Multitask right now. Quote today at progressive.com. Progressive casualty and trans company and affiliates, national average 12 month savings of $744 by new customer surveyed, who saved with progressive between June 2022 and May 2023.

Potential savings will vary. Discount is not available in all safe and situations. You know what I mean? That's good too. You know, like, what if you were like, you know, like you were just kind of like, you pick some colors of like some sort of, not like a plastic kind of one of those like,

moldable plastics that kind of melts and that melt in together and create a nice pattern but in with the ash and stuff like that or like one of those... And I mic you into a bench top. Or like one of those clear toilet seats with the you know in epoxy resin so that you know and it's just your bones in there and you could make a bench top with it where they could go in the garage of your kind of one of your family members, your kids or something like that. I could keep it as their work bench. Their art, art bench. I want my bones placed in clear epoxy resin. And so that my kids use to, my nephew's art bench. Yeah, you think I mean if you're an FU is in the right art field

One where he was you know He was like oh, yeah, I like interesting things and this is my uncle Andy There he is yeah, it is definitely an interesting thing You know I I definitely an interesting thing. You know, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I this is people who are self-conscious about about bloating after death, you know, there's going to keep you looking good. You know, what about those, you know, you're never more on display than in that open casket. Yeah. Right? Everybody's coming up and having a real good close look. So this is some clothes that you can not close to die for, but close to die in. What would it be? How would they just

squeeze you? But like how would they just squeeze it? Keep the blood under control. But how do they fix your face? How do they fix your face looking like lifeless and all that? Well, I think this is more about your figure. I mean, we can leave it to the, you know, there could be cosmetics. We could also advertise a line of cosmetics.

Could you, would you get it? You know, it could be an entire death fashion empire. Yeah. You know, like you. So just be like that person in the Chanel Coco Chanel. Yeah, was she fashion? She was. Right? Yeah, definitely. I was trying to remember if she's also perfume and she is. Yeah. Yeah. And so, and how's it different from regular fashion? Like, you know, because it's specifically designed to meet the needs of the people. So, but you would have, like, I guess, you know, and I know that I know you hate it when I question your idea.

But I guess you would have sort of, like, things that are like, you know, that address certain things that happen to your body when you die. When you die. So, you know, so like, you know, maybe the underwear would come with a sort of a plug for your butt. A plug is built in. Yeah.

And maybe a hat and maybe a hat. Maybe a hat. It's necessary sections of water. Maybe it's like it's a hat or a do rag or something like that. They wear a death do rag. And it's got inside some electrodes just above, because the problem with the face, the face looking so lifeless, is that if maybe you could get

some electrodes just above the eyebrows or on the forehead somewhere and it was sapping down there, it would make some of the muscle fibers twitch and it would make it look like you're winking. You know, like people come along. That's really nice, that's a little something, is that? Yeah, he goes, oh, I still got that. You still got that, that wink that gave us face life. That come here the wink. We all love. I mean, you can granddad. That's similar thing. You know, like it just like a, you know,

what kind of squeezing thing? You know, like the, you know, the thing they put around your arm to test your blood pressure You know the big moment a big moment. Oh, but they're yeah Yeah, the thing and they but you know how like that, you know that really squeezes your arm a bit But if you were to put that sort of somewhere in the middle of your forearm And it was squeezing that would make some of your fingers curl back Like that right, you know, have you ever done that? Vicketing, vacuiting, a little vacuiting motion. If you kind of got that.

People lean in and then you got a little blue tooth speaker in your mouth. Yeah, it's whispering something. You go, come here. No, come closer. Come closer and then something in your mouth sprays out. Oh, really good. You know, maybe your favorite perfume. Come closer and then something in your mouth sprays out Really good You know, maybe your favorite perfume or their favorite perfume You've got you've got all these samples these perfume samples that you collected throughout your life

Put into a machine put into a machine and one is linked to each person who is in your life. Oh, that's nice. And you've got a wheel, you've just got a wheel at the back of your thing, it looks kind of like one of those bullet things in the chambers. Everyone's obsessed with famous last words. Nobody's doing famous last smells.

Yeah, that's right. Let's get a V.S. And so not just death fashion, It's a whole full death experience But for the living Now earlier we were talking about this is nothing else to be by the way, but earlier we were talking about oil and water not mixing But you know whenever there's a big oil spill Yeah And they're wondering what to do with it.

I mean, is anybody ever considered coming by and putting a little bit of garlic, a little bit of cracked pepper, maybe some chopped basil in there? Getting a big thing of bread out there, getting people to dip it in. Yeah. Salad dressing. Oh, there, you would need an acid in there. You need something acidic, a balsamic, or a lemon juice or something. Yeah, I was hoping that the brineiness of the ocean would provide that. No, I think that's more salt than it is acid.

Yeah, you're absolutely right. And so, yeah, I think the acid is the main contender there for making it a vinaigrette. It's in the word vinagrot. Vinaigrette. Vinaigrette. It's in the vinaigrette. The bit of the word.

Obviously, the grette, the et at the end means that it's a woman. Yeah. And we know it would be vinegar and the vinaig the vinegar. It's an acid-based band if you were doing acid rock, say. No, rian-der-ian, no, june-vine-grette-rien. That's Eidith P.F. talking about how she doesn't like. I had never tried to say it just to hear it. No, it's not. Thanks very much.

I'll just have the salad plain. Why? Why, madam? Do the line. No, I'm not going to cry. Or maybe that's her at her restaurant. Everyone's complaining, why is this salad so dry?

And then she comes out. She's the sh- This is in a different life. It's in a parallel universe, where he just P.F. opened a salad restaurant. Yeah is in parallel universe. Where he did the PF open to salad restaurant. Yeah, well, instead of being a singer, it's Spider-Man into the multiverse or whatever it was into the spider-versus.

But where they did the PF. To the PF verse. Right. And you know how like she had ever, she was like had a lot of hardship before she was discovered or whatever and and so and so she um one of the reasons she had so much hardship was because in one of the universes was because she had this salad restaurant, salad bar. Her whole thing was called Jin-N-Vine-Gret-Ria, which is I don't vinaigrette anything.

Yeah. Luckily, she was later discovered to be a great singer. No, well, no, I think it's later that her dry salads came in defashion and she served them to great popular acclaim. Okay great. Okay, right, right. Okay, right, right. Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah used originally in this, in this, in this P.F. universe. She used to just make dry salads on the street. Yes, exactly. And then somebody discovered her.

She was like, what is, what is that dry thing you're eating, maim, madem? And then she says, I just had the best business idea on this. She just let us. She goes, oh, see, she's just la lettu. And what else would she have a cherry tomato? Do you think there's that two acidic? Yeah, I'm trying to think of a lovey on rose. She would have it. You know what she would have it with.

I have it on toast. I have it on toast dry toast with the dry salad um but uh heavy don't tell it's so satisfying to say you should say it no I think you're getting the two I think you're getting the tune wrong. And I think if I were to do it, I would get it even longer. And this song is in my head constantly. And it was played as my beloved walked out on my wedding day as the father played it on a tuba.

Really? Yeah. I was there for that. Bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, very good. Bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop. This is, I'm actually imagining you're wedded right now, and I'm actually getting a little bit emotional. Yeah, me too.

And this is this. Wow. And as you know, this is now the podcast where we cry about songs. So, especially played by horns. Um. Um. Maybe it's connected to that. Anyway, maybe those harmonizing horns are somehow connected to pit on the tube of playing

La Vione Rose. Anyway, ha-v-t-on-t-ost. Wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow. But how is that? My business wow, wow, yeah. But how is that my business idea? Okay, yeah. It's like, it's a place where you can go and you can get a salad, but like as a bouquet, right? And you eat it, you sort of hold it like you would

an ice cream cone. And you eat the salad, so we take all your salad ingredients, but we don't chop them up or mix them up like that. We arrange them like using flour arranging techniques. In such a way that you can sort of eat, eat down through it vertically. You know, maybe we cut the cucumber into like very long thin strips. So it's a salad bouquet, it's like a salad in a cone. So you said salad in a cone? Yeah, I guess it's like a salad in a cone.

Yeah, I mean, I wasn't picturing a cone, I was picturing you to sort of just hold it in your hand, but I guess there's gotta be something to hold it together. But then I realized that if I put any kind of like wrap around it or something, then I'm just making a sort of an open ended boring baguette, or not baguette burrito or something, then I'm just making a sort of an open-ended boring baguette, or not baguette burrito or something. So maybe you could just, you could bind it up with a few strands of something, some interval of loss.

I mean, I think if it, I think it's completely understandable, like a flower bouquet, if it did have some kind of plastic- a papery kind of outside to stop say any vinaigrette running onto your clothes. Yeah, that's true. Yes. We know it'd be good at the at the bottom. You know, maybe if you could right at the end open it up and just suck out on all that vinaigrette at the end. Oh yeah. Or I mean if we could make the cone a big crouton. Or, I mean, if we could make the cone, a big crouton, I think that would be pretty cool, right? Like we make the cone instead of it being a waffle cone or whatever that other weird kind of cone.

Whatever cones are made out of. It's a crouton cone. Oh, that would be very interesting. You know who'd be really good at making this? Jesus, making a crispy, making a crispy thing with all that liquid on it. Yeah, yeah. Jesus, who as we all know, made a crunchy soup. Well, it's actually Indiana's brother did it.

Yeah, but then we, we, we deified him. That's true. We made him, Jesus. He's name even starts with the same initial. Yeah. And as we all know from book cheat that when you want to put an extra layer into something, oh my god, give one of the characters the same initials. That's Jesus. I genuinely just heard Stephen King mention that in his on writing book, where he's like quite seriously, where he said he had seen that in a book where somebody did that. And so he decided to give a character the initials JC to give him to make it seem like

he was Jesus. That's fucking incredible because I bet the book that he was reading was was it the grapes of wrath? I don't think it was the grapes of wrath. Oh, it's a technique. It's just a common technique. Oh my God, it is the most common thing. People love to mention, oh, you notice the initials are JC. You know what I mean? Oh, somebody layers. Anyway, sorry, I don't that I am, you know, obviously they do good work. I'm going to rewrite the Bible, but I'm'm gonna make Jesus a metaphor for somebody else. That's good. Not quite sure whom.

T H. T H. Yes, Tom Hardy, star of Batman, Dark Knight Roses, and I spy. Was he an I spy? No, spy versus spy, spy versus spy. Was he in I spy? No spy versus spy. Spy versus spy. Sorry. And yes, should I take us through the, oh no way, I got to do three words from a listener. Oh, you know what, I thought we were done, but then I realized we got to do three words. Oh, this is the little crunchy bit of extra vinaigrette at the bottom of the car. Oh,

yeah, just in the little vinaigrette cup. Mm-hmm. The vinaigrette cup, you know, with the crunchy vinaigrette cup. Which I think Andy, I gotta say that crouton idea is a great idea. I can imagine lowering that crouton, you know, you probably have to carve out a baguette and then into a cone. I think we could make it, I think we could make it a, some sort, you know, you wrap bread around into a cone and then you put it in a deep fryer. Yeah, yeah, but I think you could make it some sort of, you know, you wrap bread around into a cone and then you put it in a deep fryer. Yeah, but I think you fry it.

But it can't be baked into that cone shape, right? Like initially. No, you start with soft bread. You know, this is where croutons come from. They're soft bread originally. Yeah. And then you fry them, right? So we'll just get soft bread,

put it into a cone shape and then fry it. But imagine you got a day old. It comes one big crouton. You got a day old baguette in your house. And then you just get yourself a whittling knife. And then you cut off that outer crust and then you start shaping a cone. Alastair, you know what I'm starting to feel like we're getting close to? What? This could be one of our foods. I know it's not a soft food. I know it's by definition crunchy, but I think if we could eat a little salad bouquet,

a salad bouquet on the 300th episode, deep, pretty good. Do you think we would have to have a little deep fryer there to whittle up that get into a thing and then deep fry it into a crouton? That's exactly right, yes. Unless we can somehow get some pressurized boiling oil in a little canister that somehow, much like these steaks can't be seen. Just release it into the room. Just release it into the room.

It just fries things in the air around it. Turn the room into an air fryer. Oh yeah, I mean, you know, those canisters of, you spray out those canisters of, you know, oil, you know, how you get just oil in a can to like spray on your open surface. Yeah, you just heat that up to the surface. Why can't that come out, you know,

at several hundred degrees, I can just spray it onto things and just fry them. And we could do that. All we gotta do is right at the end, as we're reading through the sketch ideas at the end of the 300th episode, which we're gonna, if we are alive at that point, we can just take one of those,

one of those sort of aerosol oil canisters and put them on a hot plate. But I put it on an electric hot plate that we can just plug in. And then when that explodes, the heat from that will cook the big egg at the exploding oil, the thing that's's it we're holding it out. In our hands. And then we can fill it with fresh lettuce and some I guess slices of radish and you know I guess I don't know what else is in the salad.

You know we should. Alistair. How hard can it be to make it, get ready for this. How hard can it be to make a self-cooking salad beget crouton? I mean, not rocket science. Now, you talked over the punch line. Oh, sorry.

It's not rocket science. It's not, you did it again. It's not rocket science, Alistair. Because it's a salad. Rocket. Rocket, the lettuce thing? Yeah. I think it's gotta be, it can't be a crouton. It's gonna be how hard can it be to make a salad?

Yeah, you're right. I shouldn't have mentioned I shouldn't have mentioned crouton. I knew as I was doing it that I Know I was there you gone from our phone call Must have been upset and I'm speaking as I'm speaking and Must have been upset and I'm going to pull them back. He's speaking as I'm speaking And Everybody, oh here we go. Yes, so here we are Alistair. Hi Andy Nope hang on We are apologies. We're not gonna cut the edits out most likely and so Just letting you know that Andy's phone call dropped out and as we're just getting

hot. Hang on, how can it be Andy's phone call that dropped out? I just mean Andy, I'm not blaming you. I don't think so. No, no, no, oh, oh, Elis there. No, I'm not feeling blamed. I'm just wanting to clarify in what sense was that Andy's phone call that dropped out? I just meant my phone call with Andy.

Oh, yeah. Okay. Well, I'll tell you the sense in which it was Andy's phone call with Andy. Oh, yeah. Okay. Well, I'll tell you the sense in which it was Andy's phone call that dropped out. As just something to do while the call was going on, I was just tossing my phone around in my hand and obviously hung up on you. And so, I mean, how did you... How did you... How did you... How did you come at me with such defensiveness?

Well, Alistair, I just, no, I came at you with defensiveness, absolutely, because you were wrong. You were wrong to assume that it was my fault. But then after you were suitably chasened and I think deeply apologetic, rightly so. I felt that I could then reveal that in this case, you were correct. That's excellent. That I, you know, that my bigotry was exposed, but then also your kindness in admitting fault.

Thanks a lot. That's right. I guess it's nice that, you know, the world is finally in balance and we can see that I'm a jerk and you're a generous man. That's exactly that's the lesson that we all need to learn. All right, Alistair. Words from a listener. We got three words from old time listener Stuart McCone. Old timey. Old timey. Stuati McCurney. Yeah. Like like many of the listener veterans that we have has been with us for a long, long time. It's it's it's it's one of

the most beautiful things in the world. It is isn't it? And not just to not just to but also the relationship that we have Sometimes sometimes he just He'll tag me in something online or I'll post something online And then he'll just say hey, Al and I'll say haste you That I mean that you can say so much with so few words. Absolutely. That's, that's like, it's like an old couple, it's like an old couple that doesn't see. Yeah, I was going to say a couple of old lighthouse keepers who've just been in the same building. Yeah, I haven't seen that movie, but I have it either.

Okay. I wasn't even necessarily alluding to it. Oh, well, you've chosen the wrong time in history too to use that that bit of imagery there. Mm-hmm. Andy, do you want to try and guess what the three words from a listener Stuart McCone are? Yeah, I do. And the first word, it's actually interesting. It's not actually an, uh, uh, it's not actually a proper noun, it's Joana. Wow. It's sort of like Goana with a J. Yes, that's how I remember it. No, it's not.

It's not Joana, unfortunately. You were incorrect this time. It's just first word is introducing. Okay. Do you wanna try and guess what the second one is? New, introducing new, new. New or did you say new or new? The sort of the, possibly the Pokemon from which

all other Pokemon have been derived? Is one of them correct? I feel like one of them is correct. You wouldn't be asking otherwise. I'm going to say, Mew, the Pokemon. No, unfortunately, that's incorrect. Oh, it was new. No, the word was, the second word is guest host. Okay, one sort of combined word, hyphenated, is it? Yeah, well, you know, the words are relatively close together. Is the last word skew it? Unfortunately, that's incorrect.

The last word is stew. I mean, that even rhymes with new or dare I say it mute. So I mean, that even rhymes with new or dare I say it mute. I mean, I feel like I was doing pretty well today. Yeah, but that is an illusion. Yeah, but look, you did okay. So this is a running gag with... I don't think it's a gag for stew. But stew... I just don't even necessarily a gag for us.

It's not a gag for us, no, but I think, I think how long we've allowed it to run on probably makes it a gag in a way. Stew would like to come onto the podcast and I would be happy to have him on the podcast. I think. I wanted. I wanted.

And I think he, at his last birthday, I think he got some equipment which would allow him to do that. And then it's just, we still haven't organized it. I think what people don't realize necessarily is how difficult it is for Alan, I to organize just the two of us to get together. And then like the thought of adding an extra person in is an exponential like order of magnitude more complicated that we're just not capable of managing. And we, when you at the start of the show when we were talking about who was the reliable one and who, whether or not I declined in reliability, I feel like in some ways if we have a career and if we've ever achieved anything, it's more like loose pancakes that have somehow been arranged so that they prop each other up.

Like you wouldn't think that a pancake would be capable of standing vertically, but we have two floppy pancakes who are propping each other up to achieve almost the full height of a single pancake standing on its side. Yeah. And maybe they're rolled up like a plinth. Alistair, you've straight away, you've worked out a great way to make a pancake stand up. Yeah, well, I mean, it was a year and a half.

Trying to figure out, yeah. A pancakebased structure. I mean, at some point you had to turn breakfast into a functioning building or something like that or something to maybe lift the rubble off of a loved one after an earthquake or something like that and all you had was breakfast. All you had was bad jokes. All you had was a breakfast buffet. So there's a few different things on there, right? You've got your sausages, you've got your weird mushrooms. You've got that egg that has been made from reconstituted egg.

It's just all a little bit too much consistency. Yeah, there's no color. Yellow, native. Not enough curds in there. Not a trace. Yeah. And you, you're the Maghiva of breakfast buffets. I don't know if Maghiva ever had to work with a breakfast buffet. I mean, look, if you think about this, this idea, you're kind of the guest host of this rescue mission, in this cafe, this breakfast buffet, and you're given this stew of food, you know,

it's a buffet, you know, it's just a mech, a mix, and you're introducing structural integrity to these things so that you can maybe build a kind of, you can tunnel your way out of this old French building that collapsed maybe because a World War one or two bomb went off and it, that had been buried somewhere and just had the thing go off, you know. Yeah, and for some reason you've chosen not to use any of the structural elements of the buffer, any of the bayonet, any of the ladles or the, I mean they all, somebody attacked the place with a big magnet and all of that was pulled away. Yeah, and all you were left was foods. The non-magnetic, I mean, that'd be a great science fiction scenario in which an alien ship flies over the earth

just with a really big magnet and steals all our metal. Yeah, even non-ferrous. Faro magnetic. No, it's just ferrous metals, but still, I think that would be quite significant. That's all bridges, that's all vehicles, maybe not aeroplanes. And then we've got no, I mean, ignoring the the fact there's still awe in the earth. But I think we'd find it difficult to extract that awe without the machinery that we've become so dependent upon.

That's true. So the refineries and stuff. We have to go back to doing it with bone and things like that bone, rocks. So just I guess, start putting the ore rocks on other rocks and then hitting them with a rock. Mm, just rock on rock. Mm.

And a bit of aluminium. Yeah, I mean, I don't mind that. Is there a way of taking non-ferrous metals and making them magnetic? I mean, I think you can pass electricity through them non-ferrous metals and making them magnetic? I mean, I think you can pass electricity through them and turn them into an electromagnetic, right? So you could get, you know, you could get aluminum and wind it into a coil, pass electricity through it.

And it would become, you know, it would generate a magnetic field that then could be attracted to either a, yeah, any other kind of magnet. There you go. There you go. Maybe they could steal, maybe they could steal all the other metal and use them to make electromagnetic magnets so that they can steal all our ferrous metal. Anyway, just something to think about. Sorry about that, I'm going to take us through the sketch ideas, and if that's cool.

Yeah, right. Did we write something down for that last one? Did we? I wrote down creating a structural integrity from breakfast buffet rescue. Incredible. And I also wrote down alien theft of our favorite. If you're long-term support, that's sketch. Oh, so sorry, Sue. I mean, in many ways, we're disappointing you twice in this. Sue, we will get you on one day. Thank you for being so consistent in wanting to do it. I mean you haven't asked for about six months I think since we broke your heart maybe. But thank you. And then here's the sketch ideas. We've got company that organizes a meeting

with you then doesn't show or shows up late to give you guilt free free time. They have to put a hard sell on you. And he's been goddamn flipping his phone again because he just hung up again. Shall I dare accuse him of being responsible for the this fuck up do you think I will try I'm gonna be bossy enough and really try let's see look it says it's calling now it says that it's ended so maybe he's attempted to call me I will attempt again to call him now it is ringing I did it again.

I did the exact same thing again. Andy, here I come. I'm going to say, I'm going to say I accuse you of that being your fault. That was exactly I did it again, Elastair. I hung up on you again. What a son of a bitch. I don't know what's wrong with me. This has never happened before in the history of a bitch. I don't know what's wrong with me. This has never happened before in the history of the podcast.

I don't know why I've suddenly started fiddling with the phone that is hosting the phone call. I'm actually sweating. I'm so embarrassed. Well, at least we'll have that great, the listeners will have that great moment of us both talking to try and keep entertaining them. Oh, Jesus.

I didn't actually say anything this time. I was too ashamed. Oh, good. Well, that's a good emotion to feel. Even though I don't want you to feel bad, you know what's me. All right. Then we got canister of steam. Great new product. Come and get a canister of steam so that you can just have steam steam at any time in a day. Well it's actually pretty good. Like this could be used to just spray cook things. It's probably safer and better than the than the one with the can of boiling hot oil. I think just being able to just squirt out of it to some steam. You know you get your sandwich there. You're like you know what what, I wish the sandwich was steamed. You can now spray the sandwiches on a thing that you steam, but you could, you

could, you know, it hasn't had a sandwich and said, I wish this was hot and soggy. I guess, you know, a bow, a bow is sort of like a hot soggy sandwich. Well, it's, I mean, they're managed to get it steamed, but protect the outside from allowing it to turn soggy. It must have like an egg wash on it or something. Well, I think it's just a different type of bread. It's like a, it's a submarine bread. It's a bread made for eating underwater. Exactly.

You could probably take a bread. You could take a bow or a mantle into the sea, say you were trying to drown yourself, you know, to put rocks into the pockets and you're going off you have to see, but you want to snack along the way. It's a long walk, it's one of those really shallow beaches. But also, you're saving it up till your head is already in the water. Well, I mean, you don't necessarily have to eat underwater, but if you're carrying it in your pockets, it'll be great that you could be up to your shoulders and that bow that you've got in your pocket there

hasn't gone bad. So you can have a little snack as you push your own towards there. Then we got perpetual piss machine, which is a great idea. That would get rid of all mental illness. This idea feels like it was so long ago. Yeah, it feels like it's in the longest episode.

Weeks ago, this idea. Gold painted statue death. That's when somebody wants to find a funny way to die and they paint themselves gold as a statue. And then they, you know, be funny. You see them painting themselves and they take like the oxygen out of their nose. They let little oxygen pipe that they put in, you know. That's right. Take that out. They're kind of painting their face and it's going to be funny.

And they also wear spanks to hold in their death blow. Then we got death fashion slash experience, which is for the living. You know, that's all the various things that you can do to keep your body looking vibrant while you're there on an open casket. It's already a real taboo thing to ask somebody if they're pregnant, right? Yeah. Because asking them if they're dead. Now it's also it should be an even greater taboo to say, oh, are you are you bloating from the gaseous release? Of your decomposing corpse. Yeah, is yours also you can't there's it's never polite to us Just don't just don't risk it. It's not worth it. Yeah, or you know, or saying is your face puffy due to three days of being floating in a river? you two three days of beings floating in a river. Congratulations! Oh my god, I'm so happy for you that they dragged you out of that river. What? So when's it? When's it due? Your funeral, I mean, when are they going to inter your bloated corpse?

Root, I'm going to write it down. Root to ask if someone's dead is bloated from having died. It is rude though. Died. Yeah, it is rude. You can't say anything. You think you're taking an interest, but yeah, that's just not worth it. And the next idea is into the piaf verse. And then that's the version of her where she had that dry salad and then eventually was discovered and created a restaurant, Genevieve Gret, Rien.

I have this bizarre feeling we've talked about this before. And I know we haven't. Yeah. There's no way we could have talked about that. There's a universe where we have. And so, probably the one where she existed, we would talk about it all the time. It's the only thing on our mind is this salad bar with no

vinaigret. Let's just say that that rude to ask if someone is bloated beyond our mind is this salad bar with no vinaigrette. Let's just say that that rude to ask if someone is bloated from having died. That can be stew's sketch. That's good, that's a better sketch. That's a better sketch. That's for you, thanks Stu. Thanks for coming on Stu.

Then we got the salad bouquet and he's business idea. And then we've got creating structural integrity from breakfast buffet rescue. Then we've got alien thefts of all ferris metals. Oh, I wonder what that would be like. And then we got the... KFC has a... Gives food in a bucket. They should give something in a bouquet.

They should do that as a... What's... Does it have a name? the bucket at KFC? Yeah, the bucket, I think, the KFC bucket. Right, it's not a clock, well then, as maybe as an April fools thing, they should do the KFC bouquet. Yeah, I think that was.

Which is all their favorites, but arranged into a bouquet. You know, you say that, and I've realized I think there's a thing where people put chicken nuggets into a wedding bouquet. Oh, that's weird. And then we got a root task if someone is bloated from having died. I'm a little bit da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da that and it's been very nice to have your support. It's been very nice to chant to people on the discord get onto the discord go on to our Twitter get on the link or it'll be in the

link and the news it we're at two in tank on the Alistair TV I'm at stupid old Andy listen to the pop test listen to the pop pop test yeah a bit of plugging listen to Shushar I'll go to do an episode one day again I just thought of the pop test. Listen to the pop test. Yeah, bit of plugging. Listen to Shushar, I'm gonna do an episode one day again. I just thought of one last night. I want you to imagine what it would be like if there was a crab on a ball. I don't know why I thought that was gonna to be good, but for some reason I'm picturing the crab, somehow managing to stay up on the ball. Yeah, great. And then asking, how did the crab get on the ball?

That is a really good question. That didn't occur to me to ask that, but that's even harder to imagine that a crab staying on a ball. Yeah. It's a crab getting on a ball. Because when it tries to move one way, I think it would actually make the ball move the other way. Wow, incredible. Yeah, anyway, thanks so much for listening.

Hope your lives are going good. Hope everything, hope you're not in a place where the lives are too bad. Take it easy. Give yourself a break. Here's a piece of advice. If you're buying a vacuum cleaner, spend an extra 50 bucks just buy a slightly better vacuum cleaner because we got a better vacuum cleaner recently and it's really made a huge difference to my life. That's so nice.

Is it a robot one? No, no, because we have our flaws are too uneven for a robot. Get it. Just get it uneven robot. It's true, one with legs. Yeah. Talk to you later. And we love you. You. This episode is brought to you by Progressive.

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