Two In The Think Tank - 285 - "PURCHASE A PORSCHE" with MICHAEL WARD

Episode Date: May 11, 2021

Every thanks to Michael Ward for contributing himself to this episode.Idea Vampires, Super Villians, Drinkable, Brain Fluid Club, Dog Syringe, Flavoured Bags, First Clogging, One on One Prison, Face-Feature Bum-bag, Porsche Chase Purchase, Last Minute Purchase PardonYou can support the pod by chipping in to our patreon here (thank you!)Listen and subscribe to THE POP TEST on Radio National or as a PodcastJoin the other TITTT scholars on the TITTT discord server hereGet Magma here: https://sospresents.com/programs/magmaHey, why not listen to Al's meditation/comedy podcast ShusherDon't forget TITTT Merch is now available on Red Bubble. Head over here and grab yourselves some material objectsYou can find us on twitter at @twointankAndy Matthews: @stupidoldandyAlasdair Tremblay-Birchall: @alasdairtb and instaAnd you can find us on the Facebook right hereThe fresh cool milk of the uberthank bird to George for producing this episode. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This episode is brought to you by Progressive. Most of you aren't just listening right now. You're driving, cleaning, and even exercising. But what if you could be saving money by switching to Progressive? Drivers who save by switching save nearly $750 on average, and auto customers qualify for an average of seven discounts. Multitask right now. Quote today at Progressive.com.

Progressive casualty and trans company in affiliates, National Average 12 Month Savings of $744 by New Customer Surveyed, who saved with progressive between June 2022 and May 2023. Potential Savings will vary. Discount's not available in all safe and situations. I'm Andy. And I'm Alistair George William, probably virtual. And you're not going to believe this.

We are here with a guest today. I hardly believe it. And it's happening to me right now. But you're famously skeptical. I'm famously skeptical, especially of this particular man, it is Michael Ward. Hi everybody. Hi. Returning guests. I mean you too, as in everybody, I'm not talking about listeners, it's just you too. It's really nice and it's good to just stay between ourselves. I think that would be better. It would be nice. And just wanted to clarify that all of you are unhide, un-hullowed, so that we're greeted by Michael. You're not going to tell any of this to the listeners.

Are you on the stage? I'm on the stage. I wouldn't dare. So, am I going to understand I'm the first guest ever on this series, on this podcast? It's very exciting. We've been a bit shy, but gunshot, and to show anybody else our guns. And so, yeah, we decided that today we're going to open up the tank, allow another person in, allow some of the stink out, and then see how, if you have ideas, firstly, Michael,

where do your ideas come from? I, you know, it's it's a stereotypically annoying question, but nobody's ever asked me. Yeah. And I've been, you know, I mean, it makes me think people don't think I have ideas. Do you think that maybe there's, do you actually have a good answer then? Is it because that and that's why you're annoyed? No, no, I have an answer.

I am what is known as an idea of empire. So I suck my ideas from other writers. But from their next word, what part of the brain? From their brainstem to be more precise. Do you have to stick something into their stem together? I bite them on the brainstem. Where is the stem?. Where is the stem? How deep is the stem?

How deep is the stem? That's the answer. Lovely song. Brain stem is at the base of your brain. If you're at home now, touch the back of your neck. Yeah. Rabbit softly. Yeah.

Feel that way, everybody's dead. This is directed at you, the listener. Yeah. I should be talking like one of those eyes in my people Rob your neck very softly. That's your brain stem. Yeah, right. And so then you would that's been to be an awkward bit to get your teeth into It is especially if they're wearing like a turtle neck sweater or something Which does a lot a lot of writers are So literally yes, that's why they wear it, I think to protect themselves from idea vampires Yeah, I think you know and I a movie about you know If if vampires are biting into the neck anyway, they might as well try and tap into the brain stem

You know while they're there, you know the bottom teeth the bottom jaw could go into the The juggernaut the bottom teeth, the bottom jaw could go into the jugular, but you can detach your jaw, maybe you make it nice and wide, you could get the top teeth into the brain stem, while you're there, fill up on ideas, or the psychic vampire. I think maybe a bite to the abdomen,

maybe get some pee. You know what, if you're just going for, you bought it bodily fluids, I don't know, you know, pee and sort of other things like that would be like, is that weird? I mean, you're talking about draining the mind vine. Yeah, but I'm not saying biting the penis. I mean, unless you're just going for the blood and the penis, I'm saying the, like go for, you know, just pierce right into the organ and just get a straight from the bladder. You can imagine if you love the taste of pee, right into the organ and just get it straight from the bladder. You can imagine if you loved the taste of pee, right?

If you loved the taste of you just sort of sinking your teeth into a big bladder like that and just drinking, it would be quite satisfying. You're like getting a crack in a coconut and getting that coconut milk all over your face, you know? Van Puyers as far as we know, I mean, they don't, I've never seen one drinking water. They don't have any other source of fluids, hydration, hydration, I mean, maybe they get all, this might not be depicted on screen, but maybe all their fluids, you know, they have to be, have to be attained vampirically.

Or maybe there is a vampire for any liquid, any body liquid you can name. There's a vampire for that. Well, it's not that dissimilar from babies. Babies basically just have it just milk, right? Milk. Milk. That's the sound of what my child used to do. But, and milk is just blood with some red taken out of it, I think mostly. I'm just gonna pause the recording because I'm getting some sort of strange rustling sound.

Hang on. And we're absolutely back. God, that didn't break the momentum at all, did it? I think we were doing really well. So we start again. Well, look, that's often a thing I ask. Hey, hey, hey. Everybody got along.

So, have we written down anything about a vampire? It's still ideas, because I think this would be a great... I got to. I should have vampires here. Great superhero, right? For the Marvel Cinematic Universe. No, no, because none of the superheroes work in the arts. No. As far as I can tell. at least their superpowers are usually for fighting and not for the arts. And if, you know, if you're just as likely to have a superpower in any particular field,

it seems weird that you would specifically only get them in sort of the fighting type fields of it. That's right. Like like a feeling of art's grants really well. That would be so useful. Somebody who's good in arts and super power in arts administration. I don't know if that they were capable. They definitely have a big pair of really wildly colored glasses, horn rims, maybe green, maybe green. Yeah, and then you would also get to find out

whether it really is a meritocracy, you know, because if there are that much better than everybody else, and they still not get in the head because their dad doesn't, you know, work for some big oil company, something like that, and he doesn't want to help. Yeah, however, people get success. Or, I mean, they could become so dominant, you know,

that they like they, like it, like a super villain, they, they win all the arts grants. A super villain, did you say? Super villain. Well, it's a cerebral, but they tap dance. It's a super, it's a super villain that does do stage jokes. I mean, that, that's exactly what it would become. It would become that would be there are chat numbers. One fat fat supervillain, one skinny supervillain. A civilian. Always get a each other into trouble. I they make the audience laugh but they make them laugh like this. I mean that would be a fool... You're talking about a full crowd of supervillains. Well, you get a full audience.

A bad person makes them laugh in an evil way. I just think, maybe. Yeah, I guess so. You want to get the right kind of laughs. You want the audience laughing with you at your evil plans to take over the world stage. Yeah, because often if you make a joke, it is like, you know, it's got some race connotations or something like that.

And this does happen to you often. A lot. And you're trying to make fun of the concept of, you know, somebody being racist and then out of you know, so that obviously we're all should be laughing about how that's a bad thing like that. racist and then obviously we're all, should be laughing about how that's a bad thing. But then you hear somebody who really loves it too much and you go, waste, wait, I think you're getting the wrong side of this, that's all the laughs that the supervillains are going for. No, you're enjoying this laugh too much and therefore you must be drawing power from the racist side. There, there, but the, my, and I think, you know, you're super, you're super hero who's

very good at filling out art's grants, I think that's a great idea. Yeah. I think that's really good. I do, I did also think that I just wanted to talk a little bit more about the super villain hook or the superhero who's a vampire, an idea of vampire, which is, you know, when you are fighting an evil, it's not just that you're able to fight them strongly or effectively. You have to be able to have presumably a good plan, right? Have a good idea of how to fight them. That is just as important strategy, you know.

And maybe your super power is the ability to suck good ideas out of people's heads, or just all ideas out of people's heads. So if you get all their thoughts, maybe you can sift through them, there might be some good stuff in there. Be like this podcast, really? Yeah, I mean, it is a sort of what we to you. Yeah, it's a custom. It's a custom. Come on, man. I mean, I'm my brainstem, sir. It's a weird liquid appearing on my shirt.

My brainstem. And my bladder is empty. Oh, pardon me. Yeah, I mean, I liked, I mean, I guess I suppose they could go sort of like, you know, attack a chess master, somebody who's very good at sort of forward thing, you know, three moves ahead. So the strategic thinking, maybe you get like, I've got a plan.

Let's jump three steps forward and one to the left. Nah, yes. And then maybe you could, you know, suck the ideas from a Machiavellian, you know, somebody, or you know, or somebody who had just recently read Mac Yavale, or Sun Su's Art of War. I mean, I could stop you from having to read books

as if you just go and drink the neck of somebody who's just read the book recently. So you have to drink more frequently if you're trying to stay up to date with recent books. This would actually be a really good extra service for Audible to start selling, which is instead of just the audio book where you have to actually still technically have to sit through the whole thing and listen to it all, to have had the experience.

You could maybe they send you a vile of the like cerebral spinal fluid of somebody who has recently read the book, maybe a third world country, they siphoned it out, and then you just drink a little bit of it. You're like, mm, and you feel like you've read. So it's like liquid cliff notes. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. And I suppose like, but if you're getting,

there would probably be that thing where if you're getting it from somebody who's like not a native speaker, they probably didn't get the full interpretation of the book. Yeah. So then you've got to pay more to get it from somebody who's like not a native speaker, they probably didn't get the full interpretation of the book. So then you got to pay more to get it from somebody who's like a, you know, somebody who's from Cambridge or something like that who read it. Sure. Yeah, they understood it. And understood what was happening. They didn't just recognize all the letters and things like that or, you know, or that's the premium model. Yeah, but I mean, it's a prime tool to someone who got still the have tears to be able to increase your profit margin

and things like that. I think that's a sketch idea. I think that's a sketch idea. It's affordable, but in a liquid form, you know, you could get trilogies or drinkable. But in liquid. You know, you get a six pack of, you get the hitchhiker's gun to the galaxy in a six pack. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You can get them fizzy if you want. What if somebody had recently read the book, but somehow you got the wrong bit of fluid and you just kind of got their memories from their primary school And then but you kind of go but you think that that's what the book was about

So that's like you know, Moby Dick and then you go along to your book club and you'll confidently talk about And you're like I think the bit where he was bullied for you know for the most The mole on his underwear Which which they later found out to me were poo. I was trying to work together on the idea. So you're saying a book club could in the future just consist of people who have just drank the book. Well, I'm talking about it.

Yeah. It brings the drinking and the reading. Think that it seems crazy that you need two different things to put into your body. You've talked about something quite like this recently. But you go to a book club and you bring wine and you bring the information about the book that you're trying to put into each other's heads. Would make sense if you could combine those two into the one experience. Well, you know what you could do at the...

So you drink the book before you go to the wine club. But then what you do is you extract your opinions on the book from the thing and you serve it to the other members of the book club while you're there and then they talk about your opinions on the book. You go to a book club and everybody cuts open the top of their own heads and everybody just licks the top of one another's brain. Everybody's given a spoon. And you scoop a little bit.

Are you then still putting it into your mouth or are you then dropping? You scoop a little bit from their brain with a melon baller and you drop it into your brain. Right? You scoop like a bunch of balls. Well, if you do a good enough scoop and scoop a good, this will be something that happens in the future. Maybe only in a metaphorical sense as we exchange chunks of ourselves digitally and we all live in a virtual world. But in some sense, we will be able to swap bits of brains in and out

between each other. And it'll be a new form of intimacy. It's crazy, my wife and I have separate brains. We have a shared bank account. And it feels like there's a real barrier there, you know, surely if you love somebody, you wouldn't put up these walls between you, the walls, I mean, the edge of your screen. The brain. The screenium. You know.

It's true. Yeah, you just melanchole something. You're melanchole. And let them either put it into their brain or let them hold it in their mouth There's you know roll it around on the tongue It's um Yeah, the melon really lucked out there didn't it with the the scooper melon ball scooper like you know The fruit really gets it's own scoop up

You know, they're a pineapple scooper or pull-pull scooper. It's true. There's you get you get the pooper scooper. That's a whole different area. You're not eating the. But it's a similar design. No, no, no, I'm trying to make those balls from the poop. I'm thinking of those things scooping into your hand and your bow. I'm thinking of those things where you you pick up the dogs. I don't a ball for a dog in that long thing with the stick, and then you throw it. I think that's a ball baller. A ball baller.

Yeah. Well, they've got it easy, haven't they? I mean, couldn't we combine the two, the pooper scorer, and the ball baller, where you scoop up the putter. And then you throw it as far as you can. Because it's annoying having to carry around the bag. You can throw it at a wall and see what sticks.

That's true, yeah. And because often it's the most important thing. Exactly right. Exactly right. And if it's important, then it probably should be like this. Put it back inside the dog. Yeah, yeah.

That's what they should. Yeah, dog parks should come with a wall on one side of it. So you can do that. You're right, yeah. Obviously, it allows you to scoop up the poo and then put it back into the dog. It's a very good idea. I mean, what is, I mean, why would we have a totally separate bag

for carrying around dog poo? Wait, what is the dog's bow? But a bag for carrying around dogs poo. You know, you've seen a dog eat poo before. Exactly. So what we do is we scoop it up somehow. It's like a big syringe. You suck up the poo. You would sit into the dog's latest

and you squeeze it back in there. There you go. And then, and then the dog can do the poo later on. Maybe when you get back home, or straight into a bin. You know the squat toilet looks like it would be perfect for a dog pooing into it. Yeah.

Anyway, just if you had one at home and you say to the dog, I'm going to put this back inside you so that you can do it in the toilet like a big boy. Have you seen the people who do the, who pick up the dog poo in the bag, tie up the bag and then hang the bag from a tree or a post or something like that instead of putting it in the bin. There's a warning to somebody. I don't know, am I alone in taking that out of the box? I've seen them occasionally dangling from things in the go. I mean, I always feel like it's somebody who's like, I'm going to get back to this.

I'm just doing something else. I guess you want to hope so. Yeah, I'll just hang that up there. I won't forget, I'll definitely come back for this poo. I wouldn't leave my poo just having my dogs poo just having it. I don't understand, and why would they do that? Why would they? It's utterly deranged.

Why wouldn't they just carry it on to the next bin? It's like, there are two things. It's actually the only way to make dog poo worse is to put it into it Like I'll leave it on the ground. Don't put it in a plastic bag and elevate it. It's actually put it I height one of its few receiving features is that it's not an eye level It's clear which project is hmm. Yeah, I asked me it could be the work of the dark one me. It could be the work of the dark one. You know, I mean, the devil, the devil he's holding on hard times, he schemes out what they once were. He's right out of ideas and

now, reduced to living on the streets and hanging dope from trees. He's walking his dog. Still doing the right thing. He's hell-hound. His hell-hound. Yeah. I can't explain it. I'm surprised you haven't seen it. What about you know, maybe you don't go out looking for these things. No, I walk out dog and I pick up its poop, acro-gingly. And I put it in the bag, tie the bag, and then I carry it to the next bin. But you could see how you could be free of that poo by just putting it on the nearest sort

of protruding branch or fence post or something like that. And then suddenly it's no longer your problem. You've done the right thing. People only say pick up your dog's food. They don't say put it in the bin. They don't specify the rest of the dog's food. I did everything that you guys said. You can't get me for this.

Yeah. Technically, my hands are clean. It's not still hand sanitized. Even though the gastro viruses and killed by hand sanitizer, you've got to wash your hands. Yeah. You know, you just do dog gastro. Yeah.

You definitely do feel that you need to wash your hands after picking up dog poo with a plastic bag. Even though you know you didn't touch it. It's so thin, you can really feel it. You can feel it exactly. Which makes me think. You tell this is going to be the dumbest thing I've ever been. Okay, got it.

Which makes me think they should make condoms out of the same stuff they make doggie poo bags out of. Okay, I'm done. Let's move on, let's move on. Yeah, I mean, it's, or they should make doggie poo bags ribbed. So that when you do pick up the dog poo, it's a bit more pleasurable.

Or flavoured. Or flavoured Yes, indeed. I mean, that would really show the your confidence in your product, in your dog poo bag product. This is how good our bag is, right? We've made it flavor-some because the structural integrity of the bag is such that you could lick this bag and enjoy the flavor, secure it in the knowledge that nothing's getting through. That's just a sign of our faith in the work that we do here. And the CEO does it at the launch. And what's the bad things about dog poo?

It's smell, it's flavor, right? And it takes your time. I've been almost done with the texture. You could probably talk with with this thing. flavor right and I You could probably with this thing It's flavor it's sent right and and and it's the germs But if you put it in the shape if you will Well if you but it looks like a sausage sometimes which is always that Yeah, but think about this really have a shape But think about this if if it was in a bag that you believed in,

a product that you put a nice flavor on, there's no reason why you couldn't then just put that bag in your mouth and chew it. And you could enjoy its texture, which there may be nothing wrong with. And you still, I think if you believe in your product, you know, you're the CEO. You're trying to break out into the doggy poo bag.

Mark, it's very difficult to make an impact these days. You know, and if you want to get that government contract to be the guy or gowns, who has it in the doggy poo rolls at the parks, you know, it's a big contract, right? So you the at the council meeting. Yeah, and you've brought your dog brought a little a little Dog, a well-fated dog, all pre before which I mean you used to do a huge amount of extra dog shit into a Yeah, and then you and then you bring your own turf and then you get your dog You see it start wandering and sniffing around the turf like that, and then it starts doing its business.

Now you are just your continuing eye contact with the good people, all of the council, the local council, you pick it up with your say, see with these flavored bags, you see even those psychopaths who dangle it from trees will be actually enriching the area with scent, but not just scent. They also taste really good.

Gasp. And he's a awful gas, very funny. As you can see, the bags are strong enough to withstand a human tooth. Yeah, and he's walking over to the bin and you'll notice that both his hands are free. Because that's a lot of a big problem. You're carrying your own bag. It's embarrassing being seen with dog poo in there. But now it's in your mouth. And then suddenly he stops. And his face goes... Ashen. And he turns away.

He's back to the audience. Sigurd, I'm not sure if that is J. I'm not sure if that is J. It's a dog pocket. Pardon me. This would be the Elon Musk version of where he throws that steel ball at the window of the car and it shatters. The bulletproof, what is it?

Cyber truck. This is the cyber truck of Doggie Poobags. And he's the Elon Musk of Doggie Poobags. I didn't know that. Did Elon Musk demonstrate the strength of a window of a cyber truck by throwing a metal ball at it? Is that right? Yeah, but right after he did it right after they'd already been testing it to hit the side panel with a sledgehammer. Yeah. Because the the metal, the reason why it's so shaped like that is because it's such a difficult metal to fold because it's so strong.

They're like, oh look, you can just hit it with a sledgehammer. And so I think the hitting it with the sledgehammer messed up the integrity of the glass. And then when they threw the glass balls at the window, which is supposed to be bulletproof, they put a big crack in it. And then they threw a second one and then put a big crack in that one too. Can I just briefly talk about car technology for a moment? I would love that. Yes, I would love that.

On that big topic. I remember back in the 70s, runners running shoes used to boast of a material or a substance called Sorbet Thane, which was a type of rubber that was revolutionising the running shoe market because it absorbed shock. And I thought, you know, and still holds true today. Why not build cars out of the same material, the same type of rubber that running issues, technology uses.

And so a crash absorbs the impact. And there's no metal or sharp shards of, you know, I don't know why they haven't considered that. Well, like soft rubber. Why aren't all cars sort of squishy? Exactly right. Foamy and exactly right. Exactly right. Exactly right. I mean, do we think we're too good for the Dodgham car thing where it has that big rubber ring around the outside? Exactly.

And you know, the cynical part of me thinks that it's because of the brittleness of these outer car parts. They like that because you have to repair it. Exactly. Or in my case, not repair it at all. And keep it for years. And then the only thing that makes you get rid of the cars that all the doors deadlock because of an electrical fault. Yeah. But I suspect that the reason that this hasn't happened is because the car industry and the shoe industry are mortal enemies.

And have been since time immemorial. Exactly. It's right. And not only would the shoe industry not want to give up the secret of the phone to the car people, but also the car people would consider themselves too good to stoop to beg to get the phomy secrets. I'm surprised. Nike haven't moved into the car industry. And I'm surprised we're not all driving around in cars shaped like running shoes pretty much with a Nike swish on the side. Or just cars with little feet that run. Flinstein style. Sure.

Yeah, but it could be built into the car. You know, you could have little legs. The one concession they've done is they've made the wheel soft. And I think that they must be trying to find a way to make the wheel soft as well. The seats, yeah, on the inside, they're soft, yeah. I mean, but I think that they have no choice there. Unless they made it very...

Oh, headrests were pretty hard until 1974, I think. Yeah, yeah. That's when you were niles. Yeah, the niles of the back of the headrest, back then. And then that somebody had the broad idea, why don't make it comfortable? Like a nice place to rest, yeah. Yeah, yeah.

A huge metal spike we've got here. That's right. This episode is brought to you by Progressive. Most of you aren't just listening right now. You're driving, cleaning, and even exercising. But what if you could be saving money by switching to Progressive? Drivers who save by switching save nearly $750 on average and auto customers qualify for an average of seven discounts.

Multitask right now, quote today at progressive.com. Progressive casualty and trans company and affiliates national average 12 months savings of $744 by new customer surveyed who saved with progressive between June 2022 and May 2023 potential savings will vary discounts not available in all safe and situations Do you think it kind of this this could have started maybe in the early days like this feud between shoe and car maybe when some brothers were working on the wheel, and it was that stone wheel, but then one was like, oh, maybe if we made a softer wheel, and then the other one was like, never.

And so he just went into the fire. A softer wheel? What, like a sedimentary stone? No, I'm thinking, and he finds a rubber tree, but then he kind of realized it's actually really nice on his feet. But then the feud just happened now, and then they live on either side of the river, and they both have their own colony.

And then it's just the shoe people, and the wheel people, and I don't know, I've been in the sketch continuum. With their shoes before wheels? I'm not sure, it feels like leaves or something. It feels, I don't know, but they don't know when shoes came in. Sandals first. It's a really good question.

Everyone talks about the wheel as being, you know. I know. I know. And the wheel reinvading the wheel, but like, I generally don't know if we thought of shoes first. I mean, there must have been cultures where they never had the wheel, but they did have shoes. I would say so.

Yeah. And when we say shoes, we mean like skins or something on these souls. Animal skins. I wonder if the snow shoe happened before the shoe? Well, a snow shoe is a shoe. It is a shoe. Yeah. So it probably happened at the same time. At the exact same time. Well, so then the snow shoe would have been the first shoe? Could be. I reckon, I reckon the incentive is definitely there. I reckon the clog was invented by a guy getting his foot

caught in a log. A log. And then, and couldn't get it out. Walked some distance to get somebody to help him. And yeah, I actually had a great time. It's right. Did it dance? Exactly.

Is there a clock stance? Yeah, a clocking. A clocking? I think they call it clocking. Really? I think so. Yeah, that is what I think. That's what I think.

That's my thought. Thought. Well, physics is from another country, so clocking would be, you know, it's like a euphemism for something, something inappropriate. And you know, we, we'd like to keep things clean. Yeah, we definitely do. We've demonstrated that. I just like a lot. Are you up for a bit of clogging, which would be sort of like a debate or something like that? I guess, I guess most sort of sexual intercourse is a form of clogging and unclogging isn't it?

Just repeated. Most forms of sexual intercourse, I think you're learning there's only one form as I love. Yes, of course. Mischegreek clogging. Exactly right. All right, look, down. Clogging? The clogging, first clogging. All right, look, I'm right down. Clogging? Clogging, first clogging.

What? I don't know which interpretation of clogging that you're putting down there, but yeah. Do you think that it's an act of cowardice that in Holland, they stopped at making only shoes out of wood? Act of cowardice. Well, the rest of the clothing. Yeah, what about you knowing the clothing we made as if you're, you know,

something to match, you know, maxed it, maxed it, you know, matched the texture. Often that's something you would do in fashion, right? You know, you put a little yellow on your shoe, you get that yellow on your shirt and your hat and things like that. So if you got the wood grain on your foot, I suppose going back to the cars, there was the fashion for a while in America

with the wood paneling on the side of like the Brady bunches. So then, or station wagon. Yeah. So the Lincoln, the Lincoln has a Lincoln have the, a lot of things back. The wood on the side. Yeah, the wood was very in for a while

and I wouldn't be surprised if we were about to come into another wood age. Really? Yeah. The wood age. Maybe clocks will come back. Really? Yeah. The wood age. Maybe clocks will come back, because the dominant chew. The wooden wheel.

Mmm. Wood age, are we in at the moment, by the way? Oh, right. Because we went, we went, we went bronze stones. Yeah. Stone and bronze, I think. No, there's the mnemonic. It goes berry, likes, freddo, frogs, all day long. So bronze,

Likin, Likin. Fier, Fish, Fish. Aluminum, And then we're back into the Lucas Aid. That's period where it's just high sugar drinks. The Lucas Aid does absolutely sound like an era, a geological time. The Lucas Aid could very well have been a time in which you know, seal a can't,

we're really dominant or something. The Lucas Aid, yeah. We have enough sketches to go to our three words from a listener, are you okay if we do that? I don't know if you know this, but we have three listeners. We have three listeners, but maybe on a good day. Three listeners. But we, and then some of them donate to our Patreon, and then they can...

Thank you very much by the way. That's crazy. One of the greatest writers here. Thank you very much, by the way. Oh, it's crazy. It's crazy. It's right to say that. I forgot. I forgot that you... They will listen to the show. Well, that's so supportive. Thank you very much. Maybe you can listen to this episode.

I think you come across really well. Oh, thank you. And so we have a listener called Nick, who... A Nick? Not a Nick, well he is a Nick. Yes. But Nick hasn't given us his last name.

Nick. Oh, give it a try. Nick, if he wants. Yeah, great. Nick Fredericks. Nick Fredericks. Thanks, Nick. Thanks for sending in your words.

And Nick is also on the Discord. We've got a Discord now. People are in there, they're chatting. But are you in the Discord? No. I'm just stretching. I don't listen to the episodes, but I love to converse about them in the discord. And then anyway, Nick is sent in three words. Do you want to try to, and then we use these as inspiration for the sketch? Good idea, Nick. Thank you. Thank you. It was Nick's idea. It was Nick's idea. It was Nick's idea. It was so much for running in. We were already doing it already. We were already doing it already,

we were already doing it already, but then Nick independently came up with the idea of sending them in, much like Wallace and Darwin, both came up with the theory of evolution. That's right. Who would have said it? And so we're wondering whether you want to try and guess what the three words are. Like you just start with the first one?

Yeah, sure. But now? Yeah, I guess what we're the first. Oh, yeah, all later. Perpetrator. No, unfortunately. And then do you want to have a ghost? And then? Falanx. No, you guys are both off. But you both had chose this phalanx start with a pee. Yeah. So on-paint. Both you both. It's not a side. It kind of goes, it's like a pee that fuses with another letter and kind of metamorphicizes it.

So, yeah, everybody disguised paper. It's a disguise, it's a, yeah, it's a, it's a new pee. It's a, it's a system, it's a, anyway. Um, I want you guys both to know that the first letter of the thing that you guys used is the first letter of the third word that Nick, um, I know, I had a good feeling. Yeah, okay, so but the first word unfortunately is whiz Spell that place W i z z Okay, what's yes misspelled for star? I guess the second word yes Yes, second would yeah, Fizz whiz whiz whiz You want to have a go as well? Is it got any relation? Like, the three words. Not always, but sometimes. Oh, okay.

Pansy. Pansy? That's incorrect, but Andy did guess Fizz. It is Fizz. Oh, well Andy knows how to do this. Oh. I mean, that's Fizz, but no. Fizz, no, it was like connected. Which is actually very rare that Andy can quite known. I mean, that's quite known. Quite known, it was like connected.

Which is actually very rare that Andy can guess it. I think I'm going to guess the third word as well. I've got a good feeling. Okay. Well, then let's let Michael go first. Flavor. I told you to start with a pee. Yeah, with a silent pee.

But that could be a clutch. It is. Spelled flavor. It's pronounced flavor. Pizzaz. Pizzaz. So you think it's whizz is spelled flavor, pronounced flavor. Pizzas. Pizzas. So you think it's whizz-fizz-pizzas? Yeah.

It's a good guess, but no. It is pinopticon. Whizz-fizz-pinopticon. Whizz-fizz-pinopticon. Winner of the 1982 Melbourne Cup. It is, it actually is the 1982, 1982 parties. Oh, no, that's actually great. So Pinopticon, as we all know, is a form of prison design, design so that from a central point, every cell can be looked into by a guard or a... In the center, right?

Yeah. Which is crazy when you think about it, because in a way, the guard is as far away as they can be from each prisoner if they were to run in the opposite way, outside. If they broke through the wall they can see the the far wall The guard is surrounded. That's the bad thing isn't it? That's also bad and and the guard, you know while being on the watch everybody is Being watched by Everyone. Yes, so you know they you mentioned they can't they can't scratch their nose Which is very bad.

If, say, they're in a scenario where their pee is fizzy. You know, so it's, he's like, oh, honey, I don't think I can go into work today. Yeah. I've got that every time I pee, it gets super foamy. And just like, it looks like a baraka or you know And you know how I have to pee it openly in the middle of this guard tower when I'm at work. I just go into a bottle Honey my wife. I'm telling you I can't go to work I'm gonna contact work the prison where I work, but I am telling my wife, sorry, sorry honey.

I know you love it when I get out of the house because obviously as we've ever mentioned, fizzy, urine situation that I have, and the fact that I apparently pitted the bottles in full view of everyone, I know you love it when I go to work, because it's the only time you're free of my effervescent urine. And yeah, that scent gets quite hair-borne.

Because of the bubbles. Yeah. But I mean, I think you would have to go into work. I think there was a reason. And he's like, and you know how mean all the prisoners are. The prisoners are. They're actually quite mean. They'll look even for people who are bad people.

Hmm. I've been up to cons these days days or that design is outmoded. Well, I think there was maybe a couple of them were built. It was a big popular philosophy of prison design at some point in England. I think they might have even built one in Tasmania as like a sort of a test kind of thing in the convict era. But I think the philosophy of the Panopticon has probably fed into the idea of, you know, CCTV and that sort of thing. So it's an idea. It was this idea that, you know, that prisoners could be stopped from doing the wrong thing by being watched, you know, like the unwatchful eye I've got, you wrong thing by being watched, like the eye of watchful eye

of God, by being fully observed at all times. They would be forced to behave, and then after they've been forced to behave for a certain amount of time, that fear of always being watched would be embedded into their brain, they could be released into society, reformed. You could just have a guard follow them around everywhere once they leave You know one-on-one. That would be nice wouldn't it? You know, you you you can go wherever you want But you've got a prison guard like a one-on-one prison Mm-hmm. It's like you're free to go in the community, but there's just a guy around who's always a guy Not not stealing kind of a relationship in a way.

Yeah, but I mean, why? My wife will not let me steal. She won't. She's really shard about that. And that was the original idea behind marriage. But I think I like that idea. I know we've talked a lot of recent episodes about a very small man. What you could do with a very small man, but you could have a little prison guard right

up around on your back. He's riding around on your back. He's strapped on. And if you look like you're about to do anything, he pulls something over your head like a, you know, a little, little, a little, it's inooce? Is it a sort of a popooce? Yeah. It's totally onto your ears. Where jockeys could go when their bones become more frail.

Yeah. But maybe you just have a hat that has like sort of Venetian blinds that come down or something like that. Sort of prison bars. Yeah. It's a boss with that. I don't know why it's useful having it just over your head. I don't know how many crimes are committed with the with the face Learing

But you could still lear through the bars Coverting and it's more of a Commandments but um Swearing you what about treason and you probably couldn't do that without a face. Yeah, you're right. Look at us, then all the crimes you could do if you didn't have a face. Okay. I mean, so you don't have a face. You don't have eyes. Right. You don't have any of those big three sentences. You don't have a mouth. You don't have a nose. You don't have, your head doesn't have a front. You got ears. You got ears, right? You got ears?

It's not part of the face, so yeah, you can have ears. Yeah. Oh, I can't. So you could, I suppose you could sort of, you could maybe do some kind of echo location based on stomping on the ground and then hearing the echoes to navigate yourself around. And then, I guess, I guess you could go

into a public park and expose yourself. So yeah I don't know what you get out of that. Oh I guess you'll be able to hear the screams of people and maybe that's what you get off on. If you I mean it's like if all you have if all you have is a hammer everything starts to look like a nail like if all you have, if all you have is a hammer, everything starts to look like a nail. If all you have is an ear and a penis, everything starts to look like a, anyway. You can let us know if you don't want us to be published. Do you have anything to add?

Do you have any crumbs? No, look, I was just thinking about Billy Eidle's song Eyes Without A Face and he was talking about the opposite of what you guys are talking about, face with that eyes. I mean, I guess you could have eyes without a face by just having no front to the head, by having a head that has no width, and it's just everything's on the side, like that. And so it's all head side, but at the front, it's just kind of thin. It kind of comes to a point like a cheese wedge.

I think you might go around with a little like a tool build or a bag, like a bag in front of you would have called them, those little fanny packs sort of. Bumb bag. And in classic potato head style, you don't have any features on your face, but when you require the features you need, then you just reach into your little bag and sort of stick them in your head. That's nice. In your head.

So if you want to see something, you bring out the eyes and stick them in, if you want to smell something. Would you see things while they're not connected, like while they're just in the back? No, no, no, once they're in the bag, they're not of use. Okay. If you want a full sensory experience, you put them all in. Yeah. things while they're not connected like while they're just in no no no once they're in the bag they're not of use You want a full sensory experience you put them all in yeah, and you probably get more in there You can get new senses that we don't have sure why not you could get like six and seventh-and-night senses. Yeah, you might get gleefe You can get one of those lasers that scans barcodes. Yes

Is that a sense wow like the computer is reading something. That's a form of literature. Yeah, information goes into your brain. That's I think. And then let you know what a product is. It's a type of sense. It's one way of knowing the world in a very capitalist way. Yeah. Did we talk about something like that? Oh, we talked about how, you know, in the world where you could steal anything you want as long as you gave the person the equivalent monetary value. You stole it.

Isn't that buying? Yeah. Well, it was sort of a radical universal capitalism where you can just buy anything off of anybody. But they really seem not allowed to say no. So if you had a big bag of rocks that was worth that person's shirt, that you go in your mind. In your mind.

Well, I think there would just be somehow, you know, the value of the blockchain. The value of everything would have to be calculated using blockchain. So if you walked into a cash room and saw a Porsche, what do you pay with that with what? If you had to be a really big bag of rocks. If you had the value, yeah, if it had to be a really big bag of rocks or maybe if like your foot had appeared in some movie or something like that and it was valuable, you could cut it off and give it to the person that you would have to give you that Porsche. Boy, this is the foot. How are you going to put the hang in a

drive at the car without a foot though? It's just stop and accelerate. It's hard but you can bring your partner or something like that and they can drive away. Yeah. Do I have a way now? Maybe you don't want to drive it. Maybe you just want to have it around. Yeah. You know it's a nice want to drive it. Maybe you just want to have it around. It's a nice one to look at. Or you just want the Porsche you can drive to your next purchase. Purchase. Purchase.

Purchase. That's what you buy a Porsche. From Porsche to Rossi. Porsche. Purchase to Rossi. I'm purchasing it. There's a great little warm-up. Any actors out there, if you want to do a little warm up before show

purchase Porsche de Ross The portion portion of the Rossi The raw Rotch the rachi forget where did Portia Portia Portia Portia to Rossi Purchase Portia's Porsche I Purchase the Porsche and Portia de Rossi where did did Porsche do Rossi purchase Porsche's Porsche?

Five minutes, Mr Andrews. Five minutes. That's until my execution. I'm about to be led to the adventure. It's a Porsche's Deport. Deport, Deport. It's... Flowers thrown. It's like it all of society. It's been televised on the big, you know, Hoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo Oh, well, I didn't want to play the roles at all. I don't know. It's going to be another study. You have to be electrocuted. The portion to push it to push it to push it to push it to push it to push it. See, I got it.

Do it. Push the portion. Oh, I really fully understand the Sudari out here. So just so that you know it in your mind, what I'm seeing in my mind. Yes. You're just a person who does that. Who gets electrocuted? No, no, who who says purchase the

portion, the portion, the portion, right society has decided that put you in prison. And then but it's been in use that all this person's finally been put away and people are excited about that, but he's been put on death row. Oh, wow, it's escalated. And then because he continues to do it in prison. That's what the people are reporting in the newspaper. And then he's going and he's getting put to death via electrocution, but it's televised. Because everybody's actually really excited. And then these televised is killed.

And everybody's very excited. Yeah, I think the funny thing there is a guy on death row about to be executed, doing vocal war, the exercise. And then getting the call five minutes Mr. Andrews Oh, he's nervous. Yeah, tight his hair. It's makeup puts on quite a labor costume. Yeah goes out through the curtains This is a liquid. It's intense in the chance So you see that scene you don't know what it is

Mm-hmm. You see that scene and then maybe if you want you can get that backstory. But you don't need it. You don't need it. That you've got to pay extra to get that. The DVD. That's in the Patreon exclusive. I can't believe you're written down a sketch idea based on something we just said. Oh, I forgot the, but I didn't even write that one. Just wanted to mention quickly that an electric wheelchair is still technically an electric chair. You know. You're right.

So, you know, when you're given the electric chair, that could just mean that your NDIS funding has come through. Yes. You've been able to. So, you really, you know, if somebody tells you we're giving you the electric chair tonight, make sure that you ask, you ask for some extra information about the type of the electric chair, the number of wheels that it has and whether or not they're attached to the electrical outlet, or a power source, before you go celebrating, getting your funding come through,

or getting a very belated attempt to get an appeal or pardon from the government. I'd love to see a dramatic scene cross-cutting between two different scenes. A guy about to buy an electric wheelchair in a shop, meanwhile his lawyer is on the internet trying to find a better deal. And it's like the tension is he's about to hand over a lot of money when he could have got a better deal somewhere else in the clock It's ticking up to the moment when he's about to hand over his credit card and the lawyer is just too late He phones him when he's mobile. I found it for much cheaper at no, it's too early Yeah, the credit card already gone through it was gone through and it's they don't offer refunds already So he could have got a like a 200 bucks off at another place,

didn't do his research. And the last minute- And then turning the sheep off of the high-cost. Yeah. So. Like. No. No.

And there was a whole bunch of people watching here. It turns out that the cheap electric wheelchair was only so cheap because it has a large number of electrical faults and has electric gear and killed a number of people. And the first thing to notice was that you had to wear a skull cap when you were in the electric chair as well driving it around. That's not usual. And the metal, that metal balls. Exactly. That's not usual at all. The electric filament and between the two things. And you had to put like a black ball in your mouth. They'll let the strap. They use a sponge, don't they? They put a damp sponge under the cap to help the conductivity of the fingers. I think they do.

I wonder what brand of sponge it is, because that would be a great advertising opportunity for say, Scotch or... Brite. Brite, Brite, Britex. opportunity for say Scotch or Oats right bright bright X Yeah, and I wonder if it's got a scour on it Because the scour is that metal? Yeah, well, so it's a rough rough

That's metallic to me can I shall I take us through the sketch ideas for today sure? Elastar I'm not looking there's a lot at the beginning that are very idea, vampire idea related, okay? So then there's for first the I do have to choose some add to this. Right on. No, we don't have to choose it. I mean you can choose in your life if you want to make them. Yep, and then why your work here is done. I genuinely think that that scene that that purchase a Porsche from Porsche, you know,'d actually make it really beautiful little scene in there. Yeah. Just... Pssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss The phrase says that. You know, Chukka's... Chukka's just with...

Alright, so we got idea of vampires. This is where the whole idea was originated, which, you know, somebody who drinks the ideas from the back of somebody's brainstem or the front from the other brainstem, depending on which angle they're going in from. Then we got these super villains, which are superheroes. These are, I guess this is in the universe of where there's super heroes who work in the arts,

and they're not at all for fighting, but these ones are super villains which are bad people, and so bad, but also do jokes on stage. And you know, little two. And more than jokes like tap dancing and routine. Absolutely. Um, card tricks, close magic, all that magic, things like that. And then we've got audible. It's like, what, how, how that situation arises. Remember the TV show Dexter?

That was in which a, um, uh, uh, to your character. Yeah, yeah. I think it was, like his parents had realized that he was going to be a psychopath and they'd raised him in such a way that he would only murder people who were also evil in some way possibly, right? But this is a

Parents who realized that their child is born to kill you know large numbers of people and they raise him in such a way that he He employs that by killing on stage to a large audience of appreciative fans. Yes him in such a way that he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, Some of them they take a bit of liquid from the brainstem and they from somebody who recently read a book and then you can drink that from the vile Is that pronounced potable? I've always said potable, but it's you did you I thought it was potable I guess not I think that's nice a pot Yeah, potable I'm sure that words etymology Yeah, but yeah, I thought it was potable etymology

But yeah, I thought it was portable Yeah, I usually have portable in a joke and then somebody years into me doing it said I think it's portable and I went It's too late for me now. I can't change it now. There's a huge admission of defeat if I do Then we got the book club but with brain fluid. That's when you have read the book via the drinking the book, but then you can also extract your opinions on the book and put them into a glass so that people are then joking. Then maybe you can start scooping things. You can be able to take it. You get to the book club. You just take your top off, start spooning each other's ideas out and just eating each

other's ideas out and just eating each other's brains. So that's, yeah, so couples spooning takes on a whole new spooning. Yeah, and then doing it with other couples. And then we got the dog poo syringe so that you can put, put back into the dog because what is a dog if not the greatest living poo egg? Yeah. And then you've got the flavor dog poo, council presentation where the guy is, believe really, believe in this product

and is trying to show how strong they're bags and how he should get the contract. And then we've got these different guys wrong. And it goes wrong. It's quite a good seed, even without the flavor or anything like that. And then he's so desperate to win this contract that he tries to demonstrate the strength of the bags by falling in the bag full of dogs,

he's mouth and chewing, and then as you say the face turning. He's slowly turning away from the crowd. Something's wrong. Oh, I've got a phone call. That's me scraping my tongue. Yeah. Then we have the first clogging. It's good. Very convincing mod. The first clogging, which is the man who invented the clog, did it by stepping into a log. I see him with lots of bugs and stuff in there. Yeah, things like that Which I think is something that they got rid of in later models Yes, he took it into town. He may have done a dance

Yeah, he many people were impressed and you know and to be honest It was what he became known for and so he that high was something that he chased You know like the clog high the clog And so he tried to find more viable ways of getting wood stuck on his feet. And so the clog was, of it, it's also another word for having sex. Clogging, that's clogging. Yeah. And then we got the one-on-one prison.

Ah, yes. They want one-on-one prison, which is just, you know, but we can go by your life, you can go about your life, but you have a prison guard strapped your back on a pappus of some sort, or, I mean, I think they could follow you around, but it's the strapping is nice. I think that they should just have a bag that's on top of your head, it's kind of up like that, and then they can pull it down whenever you start doing something bad. Yeah. Or maybe they just, you know, if we've decided

that the problem is that these, you know, what do you call them, something criminals, criminals who can't be irredeemable, they're irredeemable criminals, we've decided the problem is that they lack eight conscience. So we'll just provide them with a conscience in the form of a little man who will ride on your back and whisper to you when you're doing the wrong thing. Exactly. You know, let you to feel things, you know, empathy and things like that. You go, oh, that person probably feels really bad. So you're stabbing them. Like a portable conscience. A portable conscience. A portable conscience. A portable conscience. Yeah. I should do it. I think he's a portable conscience.

A portable conscience. A portable conscience. Pusha Deros is portable in continents. That's what IBorder-Gonternance. Poshador-Russia's portable incontinence. That's all I think. Faceless persons, Mr. Potato face, bump bag, so that they can put various senses, push them into their face. But I think initially I thought that they had no face, and they were, their head looked like a cheese wedge, but I think it makes more sense that they just, they don't have any features on the front of their face. Just a lump and kind of mass. Yeah kind of like a

sort of like a clay or something like that. You can just push, push sensory organs exactly. Yeah. Into their spikes like a cork board but for sensors. That's something really cool. It might be a great short film. Yeah well it could make a great long film. If you got them to put them in the slower. Yeah and if you put a lot of work into it, it's really fleshed out the story. You're right. It could make a great long film. If you got them to put them in the slower. Yeah, and if you put a lot of work into it, it's really fleshed out the story. You're right, it could be longer. And then we've got the purchase of Porsche from Porsche Durasi warm-up guy gets electrocuted.

That's, I mean, maybe the word vocal warm-up, they might work better, but it's like, you know, a lot of it is in us remembering, we can't have all the information on the sheet. No. So we'll have to. Some signal loss in the recording medium. And then we have the last minute electric chair purchase.

Oh, yes. Good get it. That's how I'm going to say him from the electric chair that he bought that was overpriced. And so, no, really. Not sure why the clock is ticky like you. Not sure why you got to close up on the clock, ticking up to quarter of one in the afternoon. Why does a man standing there really stand on an enormous lever?

Maybe this client is getting strapped into the chair. Yeah. And then, then we're going to go into the music to signal that we've done with this bit and then we'll just wrap up the show. Is this the best show you've done? You're so far. Well, the best, Evan. It's been miraculous to have a guest on and to find out what that's like.

Yeah, the best of this lifetime. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Do you want to start the music? And so thank you very much for listening to the podcast if you still are. It's really nice. Michael, can people find you anywhere or do you have anything you want to promote? No, nowhere. I don't exist. You don't exist.

It's really nice for you. It must be calming. It's fine. I'm on Instagram, but why would I want people I don't know to be... That's true. You know, tuning into Instagram. Tuning into Instagram, brilliant. I mean, oh my God.

Tuning their phone to the Instagram dial. Yeah, turning the dial. No, you can't find me anywhere. That's great. Great. You can find us on Heaps of Places. You can find us on Instagram, to Intank. No, I'm at Stupid All-Landy.

Are you on Stupid All-In-The-On Instagram? Oh, no. I'm at stupid old Andy. Are you on stupid on the on Instagram? Oh, no Twitter on Twitter. You were also at to entangue on Twitter. I'm at also TB You can support us on patreon if you like you can still get magmas available at sesos presents Oh, that's a great chat. Thank you very much for coming and watching it. I watched it twice live and not live Oh, thank you so remarkable I watched it twice live and not live. Oh, thank you so much. Remarkable. And I'm watching you right now.

You're gonna do teleport on that as well. Eventually, yes, I believe it, though. I think we're gonna do a few more live performances first and then we might put it out. Should talk about that over lunch rather than on the show. It's fine, I think people do want to know it. There's a question to people that ask us. Yeah, very nice people.

It's a good little tidbit that people will have realized. I mean, we can see people. Yeah, some people who listen to this show from other shows. Oh, well, I should talk to myself up then. You can find me on a DB. Link them. I'm DB. Yeah, there you go. I'm looking for a Michael Ward on a number. Michael Ward number seven on I'm DB. You would have a lot of credits. I'm going to have a little look there. No, no, there's a lot of Michael Ward's. on IMDB. You would have a lot of credits. I'm going to have a little look there. No, no, there's a lot of Michael Ward's. I'm not the Michael Ward who worked on Frankenstein

and the Monster from Hell. Okay. I think he's the number eight or, no, it might be five. Michael Ward number seven on IMDB. Terrific. Check him out, find him there, leave a comment as if you can leave comments. Sure, we're not, you know, rate him really high. Right, review. Find them there. Leave a comment as if you can leave comments. Sure, why not?

Write them really high. Right. Right. Thank you very much for listening and we love you. This episode is brought to you by Progressive. Most of you aren't just listening right now. You're driving, cleaning, and even exercising. But what if you could be saving money by switching to Progressive? Drivers who save by switching save nearly $750 on average, and auto customers qualify for an average of 7 discounts. Multitask right now. Quote today at Progressive.com. Progressive casualty and trans company and

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