Simple Swedish Podcast - 291 - "SOUP SHOTS"

Episode Date: June 22, 2021

Dog Is Man, Flesh Cube Alien, Warmest Woman, Gotta Keep Me Separated, Glass Sky, Soup Shots, Hearty (Shaped) Soup, Negative SpaceYou can support the pod by chipping in to our patreon here (thank you!)Listen and subscribe to THE POP TEST on Radio National or as a PodcastJoin the other TITTT scholars on the TITTT discord server hereGet Magma here: https://sospresents.com/programs/magmaHey, why not listen to Al's meditation/comedy podcast ShusherDon't forget TITTT Merch is now available on Red Bubble. Head over here and grab yourselves some material objectsYou can find us on twitter at @twointankAndy Matthews: @stupidoldandyAlasdair Tremblay-Birchall: @alasdairtb and instaAnd you can find us on the Facebook right here Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Progressive casualty and trans company in affiliates, National Average 12 Month Savings of $744 by New Customer Surveyed, who saved with progressive between June 2022 and May 2023. Potential Savings will vary. Discount's not available in all safe and situations. We think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think we think virtual. Yeah, good. Good. And you know, I don't like Andy. I don't like those dogs that have like a weird pinkness near their nose. You know, like a, it's a dog that's white. And then, and it's jowls and it's nose. Got a lot of pinkness there. And it, I think it

is, it implies that, I don't know why, but it implies blood. It implies that soon these are going to be covered in blood. No, my teeth are going to be shone. Now hang on, hang on. What kind of pinkness are you discussing? Because I'm picturing a kind of a sort of a my flesh tone kind of a pinkness. Yeah. And, and I've seen that around the noses of dogs, but are you describing a different pink? No, no, that's the exact one I'm describing. Right. And and what is it about seeing that that to you suggests that blood is imminent? It feels like it's something that you would have in a fighting dog. A fighting dog. Like a pit bull or something like that.

Yeah. And then because what to you subconsciously, you're thinking these dogs have been crossbred with the most dangerous animal of all Andy. Is that what you're thinking? The white man. No, yes. Yeah.

And I think that that scares me because it makes me think maybe this dog is either going to oppress some other dogs or me Because if I if it was a White man dog hybrid Yes, I Worry that I wouldn't have the ability to escape From its colonial both, both from its

animal attack and strength. And also it's powers of sort of to convince people to do things that they don't want to. Well, indeed, because I mean, think about it. The moment the dog has it well over us on the ability of its jaw to grip onto the calf of a person. But the one thing that we have over them is our ability to grip onto the power structures that put us above the dog. And as soon as the dog gets, you know, can seize those by the jugular jugular, then it's all over. I put it out. You know, we have the jugular, the jugular, the jugular, the jugular,. Alistair, I'm very happy to continue pursuing this topic of conversation.

I love them and joining it a lot. I just want to put a little peg in it and mention something that occurred to me, which is that very often we see aliens arrive on earth in popular media. And what we notice about them is that very often they have humanoid forms, they have our shape, but they have a different skin tone. Okay, they are gray or green, different to the dominant range of skin tones enjoyed by the humans of planet earth. But what we very rarely see, I think,

is aliens arrive on earth where they have our exact skin tone, but, or one of our many skin hues, and a very different shape, you know? Yeah, that's true. So like, if I were to take my tone, we could see like a pink cube, you know, a pinky, beige's true. So like if I were to take my tone, we could see like a pink cube, you know, a pinky, beigey cube covered in normal, normal human hairs, but it's just very, very, very angular and rectangular.

Does it, how does it move? Like does it move? Does it side ripple like a, like a, like a, like a millipede or like a, you know, like a caterpillar or something like that? Or does it, or does it, or does it, or does it, or does it, or does it, and it just keep, like does it roll towards you in a cube way? Where is it? Like it dies. Like, there's, like, there's a heavy weight inside of it shifting constantly.

We can go, th, third, third. That's, I mean, this is already a very unique alien. Yeah. I haven't seen that before. I haven't seen one that is a self. What would it have inside? I guess it's leg, say, such as it is, is internal. Right. It has a huge leg with a large weight on the end. And it is able to swing internally in some capy.

It could have four, it could have five. It could be an endoped. Legs on the inside. Is it an endoped? No, maybe Indo-peed? No, Indo-peed I think is exactly right. I was just worried that it was going to mean hot foot. But leg. What's the endothermic?

And then there's exothermic. Oh yeah, but the thermics there is the he- Yeah, the temperature part. Yeah. A thermo-peed the temperature part. Yeah. Yeah. A thermo-peed hotfoot hot lake. What? What would a thermo-peed be? I mean, certainly not my wife, but I mean in bed she has very cold feet. Oh, I thought you were insulting how you're insulting how hot her legs were. Well, in a way, I guess, yeah, it's true. You are

criticizing the temperature of her legs. Not the visual temperature. Would you think attractedness is a visual temperature? I think attractiveness is just regular temperature. I am the most attracted to women who are thermically the warmest and I want to so you don't like your wife's list of the hottest are you just based on temperature? 36 point nine. Well, at least there's a scale there, at least there's an objective scale of

hotness. We already have one. Why complicate things by having some additional subjective measure of hotness when we already have a perfectly good one to, you know, measure the favored convulsions of the most hot and hence attractive woman in the world. Man and women. This, I guess, is men and women. And women, that's good. That's good. Look at that. Look how we fixed it, Andy.

Mm. We, the flesh cube comes, it's an endoped. Yep. Swig it, it's in a leg. Ah, the inner leg. The inner thigh. And I do mean inner. I guess it could. It's in a leg. Ah, the inner leg, the inner thigh. And I do mean inner. I guess it could. It could have a thigh. I mean, the thing is is that it could just be, you know, maybe they, maybe we have a common ancestor with them. You know, we don't know. But they're actually,

they've somehow become inside out. They've lost all their, you know, I guess if you become inside out, it would seem like you would have a lot like a skeletal system on the outside there, which I guess is stupid. That's, you think that's too stupid? You're well, yeah. I guess, I guess if you just took like,

a lot of the leg bones and arm bones and you just placed them in a kind of cube shape through evolution. Yes. You would get a cube and then you just one more big bone. Maybe the spine could be the endo leg. You know, it's just the spine that you kind of swing around. Yep. I don't know. Look, I mean, obviously it's just the spine that you kind of swing around. Yeah. I don't know. Look, I mean, obviously it's a lake.

I don't want to make it seem like it's not a lake. We could, I think we could, we could, we could look at, we could look at inventing a costume of this sort of nature. Yeah. That would basically, we, we basically make some big, fleshy cube structure and we go inside and I guess, you know, maybe there could would have to be two of you, but you basically, inside you run and throw yourselves against the walls to tumble your cube along the ground. And maybe if we enjoyed that enough

over time we would lose contact with the outside world and we would we would exclusively live inside our flesh cube just in there eating soft foods Is there how would we get food into it? Would we absorb it through the skin or would there be little holes that would allow us to, you know, once we slam down on something on the ground, that would allow us maybe to? Well, it would be great if it could grow in there, sort of on the inside edge and we could just lick it off the walls. If it could what?

You know, if it could grow, the food grows somehow on the inside of the inner Yeah, uh, coat inside of the coat. I guess we could eat each other. And we could eat each other. There you go. I mean, once you're in the cube, nobody knows. Yeah, right? If you, if you are, I think that if we become part of a super organism, right, if you and I, Alistair, gave up our individual identities and became a part of a super organism that from the outside could, we couldn't in any way be distinguished as being inside there.

Then I think within that organism, we just become functional parts, we become basically cells. And nobody accuses you of murder, when some of your skin cells die, likewise, I don't think it, I legally, I don't think that if you are one organism, it's a crime to murder one of the people that makes it up, you know? All right, I thought you're gonna say,

well then nobody could accuse you of birth by creating a new creature by getting into a flesh cube with your friend. Yeah, accused of birth. Accused of birth. I mean, do you think you would have? It's crazy that it's so it's a crime to take a life but not a crime to create a life that doesn't seem right. That seems like a double standard because mathematically

you know subtraction is just just adding a negative. So that's right. So maybe if you I guess if you both get sorry, Elastep, but if you did both get, is this what you was suggesting before that if you and I both got into and became a single organism, we've actually reduced the total number of organisms by one. So there's been a mathematical murder. There's been a decrease in the number of living things by one. Yeah. But it's more of a merge than it is a merge.

A merge there. Yeah. There's been a merge there. That's what happens when one company buys another company in Scotland and they go now spin on Margar. So that's kind of a corporate, a corporate detective? Yeah, corporate detective who's trying to uncover sort of off the books companies joining together off the books. I guess eventually they have to declare it due to corporate law. Corporate law. But now these, I guess these fleshed cub aliens that could happen on a planet

that's overpopulated and so they're they're like, all right, everybody's got to pair up with a friend and you guys got to get into these flesh cubes and that'll have the number of living organisms. So on paper, they can't get us because they're just trying to get everybody's people who are like, I guess people will probably eat less once they have to just lick things off of the inside of the queue. Yeah, I guess. Who is it?

Who is it that's keeping track of this? I guess it's other aliens. They're part of some super planetary alliance, a federation of sorts. And they've been over producing, there was supposed to be some sort of agreement to limit population sizes. And they've been boning real hard. And then get down to the last day and we're like, okay, we found a loophole. We're going to become cubes. We're all going to become cubes.

I guess if you're a become cubes. We're all gonna become cubes. And we're gonna get... I guess if you're fine. Yeah, if you're fine with sort of confined spaces. And maybe it's like, it could be a thing a bit like, you know, like about like, hermit crabs. But it's like, it's like the opposite. It's like, you know, couple cubes. Yeah. And you know, you can pair up and then occasionally, if you feel like, like, you know,

the person you're paired up with in your flesh cube, that doesn't quite fit you anymore. You can line up the cubes and you can get a bigger or smaller friend to get in the cube with you. Not that that's the only way in which they fit, but that's how they know how to line up. I guess the cube does have to have some kind of cloaca that the two cubes can be pressed against each other and they can exchange genetic material. Oh, so every time you swap, there's a blind swap. Yeah.

I guess if you just collide with each other and your cloaca is aligned, then you can just, you go, it's just a gamble, you go, should we swap or should we not? I did, but then occasionally, maybe while you're deciding the person from the other cube will come into your cube. And then you have a, you have a triassic,

you know, a triassic cube. But it's like a cube that's got three people, a thrupple. Yeah. And then you've got a solo cube. And then you've like a cube that's got three people, a thruple. Yeah. And then you got a solo cube that's got nobody in a one book. One doesn't yeah. And then you might not like you might not, you might just decide to keep going like that. Yeah, sure. Good workout.

You know, there'd be three people in there. I don't know if the resources would be fine. I mean, I know eating less is supposed to be good for longevity. So maybe that, you know, if there's less, there'll be less available food to look off the inside of the cube, whatever the grown mold, black mold, I assume. Yes. It has to somehow photosynthesize to get energy from the sun by the skin the outer layers. Yeah Yeah, it'd be nice if it secreated something good like you know like kind of the the brown kind of Eye-bouger stuff that is in your eye

Mm-hmm kind of it crystallizes to a certain amount it goes hard Mm-hmm, and that like, while I don't think in its current state would be delicious, it feels like that could be heading towards something that's a bit like a nugget or somewhere like a chip. Yeah, sure. Or like, you know, it feels like it's got the elements. Solid, it's got some texture.

It feels close in texture to polenta or something like that, right? And that's definitely your semolina. That's a staple, basically. I think that's as close as the body gets to producing a grain. Yeah, that's corn maize, right? Corn maize. I mean, maize meal, corn meal? Corn maize. Corn maize. Yeah. So before we got on to the cube, cube lifestyle, what were we talking about? I'll say that, oh, this is about, we were talking about the dogs and whether or not they could become powerful in other ways. Yeah. Well, I mean, I've already written it down in that they would, because not only would

they have sort of superior attacking ability, I mean, these are not, I want you to know, these are not wearables, these are human dogs, right? Yeah. Hybrids. And so they'd be fastest superior in terms of like their physical attack and things like that. They probably still have a few more instincts. They like to protect people more than I think a normal human does. My urge to protect is not as high, I think, as I've seen other dogs.

I mean, I'm not trying... I didn't accidentally just reveal that I'm a dog. I just mean dogs. Yeah. I'm not a dog. I promise you, I'm not trying, I didn't accidentally just reveal that I'm a dog. I just mean. Dogs. Yeah. Right. Yeah. I promise you I'm not a dog. A lot of suspicious but okay. Got on over that. But then they would also be more convincing, as we mentioned earlier. And I think because also they could, I think even a mean dog can sort of do puppy dog eyes Mmm, which we yeah, they got it over us in a big way What about if they had a human hands, you know at the end of each of those dog legs a little human hand Yeah, yeah, oh, yeah, they've got like I mean, I think they'd be a bit more humanoid Mmm. They'd kind of have like a rip a rip to body like a dog.

Where's that? That's what you think you look at a dog. And you think that dogs rip. Yeah, I think I've never seen a dog with with visible abs. No, they never seen a pit. You never seen a pit bull. Not from beneath. No, not from the. I spent a lot of time under dogs.

Strong dogs. Okay. What about a dog where it has human hands, but they're only on the back legs. How do you feel about that? Yeah, that's interesting in what human feet in the front legs. Had thought about giving it human feet. I've never, never actually ever imagined giving animals human feet. I only ever think about giving them human hands because I think of our feet as being some of the least useful feet in the, in the animal kingdom.

I don't know why you would do that. Right? Like I think even a hoof, even a hoof has the advantage of being a very solid, you know, basically you're already wearing a permanent shoe. Yeah, but I think a horse shoe, I think their leg is basically a finger, right? I think their leg is basically a finger, right? Is that the case? I don't know where I'm here, I think this one.

I think that their horse shoe, like their hoof, is just a fingernail. I guess so, that would make the whole leg one finger. Like I think I know this sounds insane. I think their like their leg might be like their thigh to their knee. And then I think I or like you know like there's like that weird other. I don't know. I think that there's a thing there where maybe from the does it bend backwards like a dog leg? I don't think so. I think I'd find it much more. Hang on dog legs don't bend backwards. What are you talking about? Backwards backwards the how I prefer it. I know that an ostrich's leg bends backwards. But a dog? Surely not. Surely I would have noticed.

Wait, don't there? Don't there legs? Wait, they, how do they? I'm pretty sure that they kind of like spring forward. Like, oh, yeah, okay, I see that kind of extra like ankle bit there. Yeah. Right that the foot is elongated. These are the back legs. Yeah. And, and then there's that extra bit that toe, and I reckon that knee, they still must have a knee up somewhere close to that thigh area. Right. Yeah, I think man, Because isn't there like a toe that's like right on their

like what should be a knee? Yes, that's like the, yeah, it's all foot, I think. And but I think is it like that for a horse? So is a horse is like they just got four fingers, I think. fingers, I think. Is it just typing? I mean, I want somebody to mock up a Photoshop image of a, yeah, they do bend that their back legs bend the wrong fucking way. Oh my God. Well, I think it's right. I think it's the right way, but it's wrong.

I mean, there has to be a right way. Yeah. And it surely, we as the dominant species, we get to define what's right. Surely we do. Yeah. You can't tell me. I think we're dominant as a collective, but as individuals, I think we're not. And so we would have to decide. We if it's like if it's Andy versus Lion, I think you would lose, right? So that's why in a leg debate. In a, yeah, if it was a leg debate, well, I mean, I think it was, if it was a battle, you would lose.

And so therefore, that makes you not dominant as an individual, as a species were dominant. Right? And so, and that's what we're trying to remedy with this dogman hybrid, right? I think that would allow us to have a, you know, a decent chance against a lion and allow us to be individuals that are dominant. But then... I'm just sending Alistair a picture of a horse that shows that the front legs bend backwards the right way and the back legs bend forwards so that they sort of come together

in the middle. Maybe this is just necessary for quadrupeds. Maybe that's how it has to work for them. Yeah. I think it's so you can tie all their legs together up against on a stick and then carry them upside down. Yeah, next thing I do with a full-grown horse. Well, I mean, if you're taking them back to camp to roast,

it makes it easier. But I want somebody to Photoshop for us, please a picture of a horse, uh, where instead of its legs, it has four individual human fingers. Have you ever seen, have you ever seen pants? Pants that just are two fingers that go down like, you know, I haven't seen this. Is this the thing that already exists? I don't know. I love that. I love that. I love that, Alistair.

Yeah. I just Google's finger, but I'm at Google finger pads. What am I going to get out of this? What am I going to discover? Well, it's almost exclusively pants that you wear on your fingers for when you're doing, like, know, those lip tiny tech tech skateboard tricks. Oh, yeah.

Skater pants. I can't see any pants that are full grown human pants that look like a finger. I see a man's finger coming out of his jeans fly. So it looks like a penis, but I do not see pants that look like fingers. This is an opening hour stare. Oh my God. This is very exciting with our fingers. We've added opening with our finger poking through it to look like a penis. Yeah. So you, I guess you have sort of the knuckles sort of where the where the knee is right knuckle. I guess you You know, yeah. Oh, yeah, knuckle where the knee is you got that archway between the two fingers that is in the

Cronch area you could put your little zip there if you if they're jeans if they're jeans printed with the fingers on them. Yeah, I think I don't know if this is the technical terminology, but I guess you would call that first knuckle, going outwards from the hand. That first big knuckle there, you'd call that the knee of the finger. Yeah. And then the finger knee. And then the knuckle, you'd call the ankle of the finger. Yeah, finger ankle or finger wrist.

Finger wrist. I mean, if you're just deciding to change conventions along as you travel across the finger. What? All right. Yeah, and what would you call the fingernail? Would that be the hand or the foot or the finger's foot? I think I would call it the foot.

So I think this is how it goes, okay? It goes the shoulder. It's there. Up there where it joins with the hand Yeah, knee yeah, then wrist then foot. Okay. Well, I would go everybody's happy I would say that the palm of the hand that's the fingers foot Right and then and then the so that knuckle that's on the hand is the ankle and Then the the middle knuckle is the knee

Yeah, all right. I don't know not the knee. Sorry. That's the waist and then the the other the one up near the top That's the that's the finger neck And then that makes the top part of your finger. That's the head Well finger head you did really well, Alistair You made a version that was much more annoying than mine. I really, I know, but like, if you like to think of your fingers as all being individual people that share the same foot, you know, I do.

I really do what I think. The listeners are gonna like that as well. Yeah, and, but also because because you're you as a person, your wrist is connected, your wrist is connected to that hand. Technically, you also share the same foot as as all your fingers. Yeah. So it's the six of you. six of you. The six of us in our one foot. I mean, there's a whole lot of hand. Yeah, right? Sure. Well, I mean, these two feet share a U. I wonder if there's some way that we could do a useful experiment where useful, you've called, sorry, and you go continue. A useful experiment where we somehow don't let one hand know about the existence of the

other hand. Okay. So basically, you know, separating identical twins at birth, that's unethical. But what about separating hands? Well, I think maybe you could do that by, you could separate, you're separating the two brain, the two brain hemispheres

by putting like a big long strip down along the middle of the body. Like a huge dorsal fin, but they go all around and body. Exactly. And you don't let one part of your body, one half of your brain know about the other half of your brain know about the other half of your body. So I mean, this is already going to look fantastic just as a sort of a costume for some big art thing or something like that. But it's a big, it's basically a big sort of circular sale type thing like one of those big reflectors that photographers use, right? It's, it's material

base, but maybe it's relatively rigid as well. And it just stretches out in a big circle, and you attach it down the middle of the nose and down the face. The mouth is going to be an issue, as is the anus and the genitalia. That's fine. It's just, you just, it's just more wiping. Sure. That's all it is. But, but, but, but you're raising a person like that, you're raising a person like that. So for them, they won't know what it's like to wipe less. Mm.

So it's actually quite human. Don't worry that I know any better. And instead of saying, oh, what they've lost. Yeah. And instead of, you know, being able to experience a clean snap, right? Mm. Right. That'll just be like, oh, that was a clean split.

Exactly. That's what it turns. It's split. That's what it's. It's massive split. Yeah. That's what it turns to split completely in half by that this sort of full body dorsal fin, but it doesn't leave a trace. So you don't they don't know that there's another half of them basically. They're entire lives.

Well, each of their hemispheres don't know. Exactly. And then, you know, we stage a big moment, stage a big moment, you know, when they're 26 or something like that. And we cut off, remove, undo the zipper that's attached this thing all the way around and we reveal to them the other half of themselves. What a beautiful moment. Per reunions. See if they, you know, they recognize themselves in some way. And what different lives they've led as well, you know, one of them's five and the other one, marine biologists. Yeah, a waiter and sort of moon lights as a waiter. One's a waiter. One's a totally different type of way. Waiter, waiter in a different restaurant or fast food place.

Don't, and I could tell that some of the listeners are thinking about this and thinking that doesn't work. How would that work? Oh, what? Because they just stand in the doorway and only half their body, only half their body is in. And you think they wouldn't be able to reach all the tables? I'm telling you right now that if you're thinking about this and it seems like it doesn't

work, that's your problem. We never said think about this. We never said that. And also we're thinking of a version in which it does. So that's just because you haven't thought of that. You haven't thought of the one that we think you should think that. Well, if that's on you, if people, if you say something and people think, think that you're wrong, it's because they're not thinking of the version that you're right. Yes.

of the first-growing to your right. Yes. Will you think that- They've got to go away and you go away and you do the work. You're thinking of it in a context. Oh, so, okay, it's like, oh, well, what's that? Like, you know, elephants don't, you know, elephants don't have jobs in instead of STEM, science, technology, engineering, maths. But then that's just like, oh, yeah, but you're not thinking of it in the right context.

Exactly. What they do. Exactly. What they do. You're saying that I, if you're telling me that I'm wrong about that, implies that I have to do the work in my mind to make my thoughts make sense. And that you're asking me to do that, you're imposing that on me. And actually, that's not fair. You need to go away. You need to do the work to make my thoughts make sense. Why should it be me that has to make my, the things I say, you know, apply and have validity. Are you making a point now? No, not at all. I'm using the kind of tone of voice and some

of the, some of the words that would make it seem like I'm making a point, but I hope it's clear that I'm making a point, but I hope it's clear that I'm absolutely not. As you know from a discussion we just had before the pod, sometimes your comedy is so subtle that it sounds like you're making the opposite point to what you're really trying to make. Well, I'm definitely not trying to make a point. Great. And if it seems like I am, and if it seems like what I'm saying is probably it's some way offensive, well, that's just because you haven't done the worst. Exactly.

Like it isn't. Find a context where what I'm saying is okay. That's the one I mean. Obviously, and I shouldn't have to find that for you. I agree. That's all I'm saying is okay. Yeah. That's the one I mean. Obviously. And I shouldn't have to find that for you. I agree. That's all I'm saying. I agree. I mean, you can't.

What would you call me? I was about to say, like you can't, you can't accidentally say anything anymore. You can't say anything wrong anymore. Yeah, you can't imply You had anything you can't No, that's a matter I can't think again. I don't even know what I'm saying by saying that. I don't know what I'm implying by that that sentence You know, I just want you to know that I've never implied anything in my life. I've said things, sure. But if I've implied things, I don't think so.

It's so long. You must feel like you've really done something wrong. I don't know. I don't know. But I think it's funny to suggest that I've never applied anything. Yeah. That is. Doesn't implying takes place in the mind of the listener. Yeah. That's true. You know, you draw the implication.

So be right. Why? Oh, no, that's right. That's inferring, isn't it? I guess implying does come from me and inferring comes from them. Don't worry about it. If houses were in the shape of mushrooms, right? Yes.

You could change how neighbors work, right? Bye. If you were also buying land, if you're also buying airspace, right? You weren't just buying land. Like this idea that when you're buying land, you're buying land all the way till space, right? Like a sort of a vertical shaft of air. Yeah. Yeah. But so you should be able to build a house that goes up and then out like a mushroom

and goes over the top of other people's houses. Yeah, but then they could have an upside down mushroom that goes underneath your mushroom hood and then they could go in there as well. And they could build in there as well. And they could build a house, like if you build a house that goes up and then out and across them, right? They just need to build a house that goes up

and then outside ways to get out and across from underneath your mushroom, what do you call it? Your hood or cap of your mushroom? Yeah, mushroom. And then there's can go up again like that. And they give like an apple. You know, and yeah, all right, it goes up again, then out again. And then you could go up and up again.

Yeah, you go up and out again, you know, and then we become like, like plants seeking the light. We compete. I mean, everybody's working on 3-D printing houses. Nobody is working on making houses that grow from spores like a mushroom or sort of a cross between a mushroom and a mighty oak tree where they seek the light, they go up and all across and out. You know, we should be trying to do that. Mushrooms grow overnight. They grow so quick.

I think that'd be a great way to make houses. I mean, I guess if your house was made into a hollow out, like a hollowed out big tree trunk, right? But the tree was still growing. Like it was a giant kind of Sequoia type thing. Right, but you kind of, you cut off the high bit of the Sequoia. So that, and you use that wood to make furniture inside the house and stuff like that. You can have like a two or three story house like that, and you can make some dressings on

the outside, maybe even a little balcony and stuff like that with the wood. Yeah, but mostly you're just carving the inside of the tree. But then the tree keeps growing and so your house gets higher. Right? And then you can build another story underneath like that. And then but also your house is very secure because it's got that root system, you know? It's a, you know, wind isn't going to get it. Over the last 10 years, bombas has donated over 100 million socks, underwear and t-shirts

to those facing homelessness. If we counted those on air, this ad would last over 1,157 days. But if we counted the time it takes to make a donation possible this holiday season, it would take just a few clicks. Because every time you make a purchase, bomb us donate an item to someone who needs it. Go to bombus.com slash lockdown and use code lockdown for 20% off your first purchase. That's bombus.com slash lockdown code locked on. Yeah. Yeah, you're absolutely right.

I mean, you might get I think you might get sapping your house. I think there is a, uh, an interesting idea, quite possibly a sketch idea about like I just like to see what these houses look like. Which ones are the ones that are there? Well, what our world that we live in would look like basically if we remove the idea that you buy the air above your house when you buy a house, right? And that if we open that up to just to to to to to let the market grow organically. Yeah. And you know, maybe we implement libertarianism, basically, an anarchism, sort of a libertarian

anarchist idea, but it only kicks in above two stories, right? So down at ground level, normal rules apply. But once you get to a certain height, all bets are off. Well, sort of, you know, international waters versus international air. So that like at a certain height, you're no longer abating the laws of the land. You're abiding sky law.

And there's one law in the sky. And that is there are no laws. Wow and that's and that was written by the sky lord. Yeah. It was just a guy who's tied himself to a weather balloon and he's dangles and people have to get food to him and stuff like that occasionally. But yeah, I like the idea that you could have one piece of land here, you know, where you are, and you could have another piece of land like 100 meters down the road and you could just build a diagonal, a big diagonal pipe that goes all the way over there. Then Dan again. Well, you know, all it needs is just to support structure to hold it up in the other property

But you could just get going up. It's like a like if your house was just like a big tunnel Metal tunnel that goes up, but maybe it would just be like a series of sort of regular horizontal rooms in an angled In a property I suspect that if we were blind Yeah, we would this would be the case, because we wouldn't need the light, basically, firm above. So we'd have a much more relaxed attitude to these kinds of things, like getting the sunlight, oh, I need the sunlight on my house. What if we made our house really shiny? Do you think, if we made our house really shiny? Do you think if we made our houses really shiny would that fix some fix some of the

Shade problems? I don't think so no because I think shiny things still cast shade. I know but but if there's enough shiny things around Like let's imagine each house was a perfect mirror Right. Yeah, then there's gonna be light bouncing all over the place. Yeah Or you know, it could be totally glass, right? So you can build over somebody else's house. If you build your house totally out of glass and all your furniture is made out of glass. And so you're not actually blocking any of the sunlight from getting them. Sure.

Getting to them. You know, maybe a little bit when you walk overhead. Yeah. Okay. But that you can't have that. That's like a bird flying over your house, okay? That's not. Yeah, you can't. And that's not a crime.

No, that's true. So all the ground floor bits are made of mirrors and all the stuff that's above two stories is made of glass. Yeah, I think that's nice. And then if the ground floor bits of made of mirrors light goes down and then it can bounce back up. And then you could have light coming into your house from below. From below. From below. Which that's pretty exciting.

Yeah, it would mean that you can't have like a TV or anything like that up above the second story. But I guess you could have your glass bed. You could lay on your glass bed with your, I guess with a sort of a, like a, like a clear plastic vinyl sheet or whatever. Well, I guess this would be when water beds really come into their own again, right? Yeah. Transparent water bed. Oh, yeah. So it has to be that clear plastic with clear water inside and then you sleep on it, I guess. And no funny business. Yeah, with a nice, I sort of sheet of cling film around over the top of you.

Yeah. Like you want a lot of people suffocating to death. Just go high. Like the higher you go, the hotter it's going to be in this glass house, in this greenhouse that you've built for yourself. And you're living on plastic sheets. I think this is a future that I think we can justify this future, which is where all the real estate at ground level is taken up. Yeah.

Right. It's sold and we start selling real estate at higher levels, but on the understanding that everybody has to live at a completely transparent environment. Yeah. Glass utensils, I like that. I guess I think sometimes McDonald's gives you like a clear fork for when you're having hotcakes

or something like that. You know, I clear spoon like that. It'd be nice. You see your soup from beneath? Oh yeah, you can get a clear picture of what you're not bringing into the spoon. Yeah. You know, sometimes you're like, oh yeah, keep that chunk away.

I don't want these, you know, there might be a bit of gristle or something like that in your soup that you're just, you're trying to avoid. It's like having a boat, glass bottom boat that you eat with. What about a soup that is served to you basically in a, um, in a one of those trays that you make ice cubes in, right? So that the soup sits there and you've got like each little cube you'll in the tray is basically a little one individual mouthful of soup.

Wait. And so do you see what I'm saying? No, you got to explain the beginning again because I was ready to. Okay, so it's it's it's it's soup that is served to you in one of those trays that you make ice cubes in. Yeah. Okay. And maybe each little cube section has a different, has its own separate lids that you could peel off,

a little plastic lid. So you can, I guess, just eat them one at a time. Maybe they can have different, just basically soup shots. Yeah. You could do soup shots. Soup shots, Alistair, is a very good idea. We don't lean enough into the fact that soup is a drink. Yeah, that's true. And we have, you know, why are you serving it in a nice soup glass and I wine And I's wine glass wine

It is like a big drug from a champagne flute. No, but why can't you be like at a restaurant and he got a table of Soup shots for like around a soup shots for everyone at the table And everyone's squeezing a bit of lemon in their gazpacho or whatever like that. And then, but it could also be a thick, you know, gumbo or something like that with big shrimp in it. Sure. Yeah. It's a little, it's a little, an individual mouthful of soup. How far, how far would you go? Would you allow stew shots? Like, I know that's not as liquidy. Now, let's say once we've started down this path, I'm not going to go start rolling out different types of soup. Well stew is in a soup.

Yeah. You don't think stew is a soup. I think I think stew keeps too much, you know, you don't blend the potatoes. You get big chunks of potato. You could have an eighth of a potato in a, you know, that's a chunk there. Yeah, I guess so. I guess there's some critical threshold of ingredient size. Particulate size.

Yeah. Which, which, when we draw the line between us doing a soup, but I think doing shots of soup, how are they? Yeah, she's a very good idea. Yeah. And I also think that we should start blurring the lines between drinks and soup. So I think you should be able to get one of those. And I'll call it soup. And Irish car bowl, or something you call it, where you get a Guinness,

and then you drop a shot of, of Bayley's into it. Oh, yeah. Okay. You know, still in the glass. Yeah. I think that, but, but but you drop in a shot of pumpkin soup. Oh, I was thinking that you could just have like, like a bowl of chicken noodle with a shot of vodka in there. Yeah. There are no alcoholic soups as far as I know. like soups as far as I know. You know, those chocolate liqueurs, there are no chocolate liqueurs where instead of a liqueur in the middle of the chocolate, it's soup as far as I know.

Yeah. And instead of chocolate, it could be like, you know, it could be a crouton bunny. Yeah. The ice for valentines, the ice box of soup, crouton soup hearts for your beloved, who's who isn't your. For who isn't a sweet tooth? Exactly. The hearts, the heart filled with tempered croutons. Some of them are spicy tempered croutons with a, oh, it's like, and it's a box of those, a heart shaped box like that,

you put in the microwave before you start enjoying it. Oh, nice. You know? Yeah. Elser, I believe we have words from a listener. Am I right in this? Yeah. Just a box heart-shaped.

Boxes soup. Soup filled croutons. For your savory lover. Correct. For you are my savory heart. The savory lover. The savory lover. And we have three words from a listener, but this listener is not just a listener.

This listener is a whole podcast network, the dog hair network. Hello dog hair network. Hello dog hair network. Thank you for existing. Thank you for continuing with everything. Just notice. Yeah. Yes. And the three words, Andy, I'm going to say that here's a hint. Do you want a hint? Yeah. Okay. These words are impossible to guess because they're not real words. Oh, I was there. But okay, but they have... But, okay, but they have... And they made up of English phonemes? They're made up of... They're made up of... They're sounds that can be made with...

Yeah, they're sounds that can be made with the human tongue. And they can be written with the English alphabet. Okay. But they are reminiscent of real words, but they're not real words. Okay, okay, here we go. Brovine. No, no, next one is Frankenstein. Oh, okay. These are very good. These are very...

We have talked about these on the podcast, but I think I also mentioned that these are words that Richard Harring, the host of the Richard Harring Lester Square Theatre podcast, but I think I also mentioned that these are words that Richard Herring, the host of the Richard Herring Leskis, Lesdusquare, theatre podcast for her Lostepur, users. So I'm wondering if there's a third one. Yeah. Talks about Skellington's and Franking's signs. And... No, I can't. Well, I mean, it'll be in the same kind of monstery world.

Yeah, yeah, okay. Oga's Dracula. Where will- What if I tell you that you've said the word that it is connected to? Ah. Dracula. Vampire. Oh, Dracula, vampire. I don't mean, well, I mean, these sound like off brand, you know, monsters, but what about monsters? People who are somewhere between monsters and people, you know, there's a thing in which if you took out all the supernatural elements of it, you know, there's you do have people who are mostly, you know, they don't have that much

meat on their bones and so they're they're very bony and kind of, you know, that would be a bit skeleton. There'd be people who are, you know, big and beastly kind of, you know, but dumb looking that could be a franking stimes. And what would you say, kind of creepy looking, creepy looking like rowdy types, pile kind of, you know, yeah, yeah, sort of pointing noses, right? Like long tathen fangs. What's the closest, what's the closest you could get to being supernatural whilst obeying the laws of physics? And you know, yeah, yeah, sure. I've come to drink your wine. Well, it's interesting, isn't it? Because we sort

of, we take these people who would seem to have a lot of natural disadvantages, you know, and then make them super human, right? So we take a Frankenstein who's entirely dead, right? And recovering from surgery. That's true, yeah. And you've filled them with animal-like, decomposing. And then, them with animals like decomposing. And then yeah, and then somehow they become better than human.

Similarly, a vampire, they are again, they're dead. They have no blood. They can't go out in the sun. They're all skinny and they don't seem to know how to cut their fingernails. And then we somehow suggest that they're stronger and super all this other stuff, right? Which makes me think that we could make an even more super superhero or super villain monster, like giving them more disadvantages. Yeah, that's true. Okay.

So like skeleton, they don't even have any bones. They don't have bones. I mean, sorry, they don't have any flesh. They shouldn't be able to move their bones. Move it all. They shouldn't be capable of thought their head is completely hollow. And then so they've got the greatest advantage of all by that logic. Well, then I guess the greatest, the greatest monster of all would be one who doesn't exist, which would have the greatest power. The greatest disadvantage to would be to not have ever existed at all. This is a very Alistair.

This is a very cool super villain type thing to put into a comic book, right? And it's a monster creature thing called negative space, right? And what it does is it is a humanoid form, but it's just made up of gaps between things. So it shapes the world around it to make gaps that are shaped like it. And as it moves, it pushes things out of the way, although there's nothing there to push things out of the way, really, because it is nothing. But it can also, I guess, kind of consume...

Well, when you walk... You know, it could walk through solid stuff, but by creating a hole in them. Well, like, then if it went through you, it would kill you, obviously, by sort of, like, just erasing from existence bits of you. I mean, if you imagine, like, it would kill you obviously by sort of like just arising from existence, bits of you. I mean, imagine like a creature that is like, if it's in the room with you, it is, it has already completely enveloped you because it is the, what you would think of is the

empty space. What if it's just, you know, it's like, you're like, oh my God, I'm entirely enveloped by it. I mean, I don't know if there's a way in which it's just controls air pressure and can Make it so dense around you that it crushes you or so or so light that You can't breathe Or I mean it feels like there's actually something more sinister at play here It really does yeah because I I think of it as being sort of a true kind of, kind of nothingness.

And it occupies the space in between atoms. Oh, yeah. It's an ether. They think that the vacuum of space, you know, is empty, but it's actually filled with negative space the greatest thing. Yeah. Yeah. And it is what dark matter is.

I don't know. I think that's really good. I mean, I'm sure that comic books have explored what dark matter is and probably suggested that it is some kind of evil presence. But I do like the idea that it could be all around us. And the only way to be free of it is by filling up your space. To look. You know, with crap, basically hoarding.

Yeah, like a... So we discover that hoarding and living in one of those houses, where like, you know, a hoarder can only sort of get into the bedroom by crawling through a tunnel between cardboard boxes. They're actually the safest. And we all have to become that. This could be our version, Alistair, of a quiet place. It's called an empty place.

It's the only bad guy that you can actually protect yourself from by hiding under the covers. Exactly. And by also purchasing lots of things and minimalism is actually a really bad idea. Yeah. Well, it's very anti-minimalist, this horror film. Yeah, and it's kind of, I guess it like, is it a Gorrophobia of the fear of going outside? I think a Gorrophobia is a great name for this movie. Yeah, well, because also fear of big spaces. Because imagine, imagine, if I guess you, if you are out in open space, then there's more of that creature around you. And it can have more influence on you.

Whereas if you're completely covered in blankets, then it's outside of the blankets, but it's not on you. I think if there was an alien species that came to earth, then it basically did exist as a gas, right? Or something like it was gas-like. So it fills up the available airspace. And but it's also only capable of exerting, you know, a small amount of pressure as a gas is. But if you're out in a space where there's enough of it, it can sort of crush you and kill you. But if you're in your house, you're protected.

Right? Or if you're in a small enough area, you're okay. You stand the closet. That's quite a good concept. There's something there. I mean, it's, you know, it's not 100%. You know, yeah, but I'm suddenly, I am so tired now. Like my brain, I don't know how we're going to do this 300 episode thing, I'll stay because this episode has killed my brain. Yeah, I am dead in the head. One two three four five six seven eight Well, we've come up with eight ideas Andy. So that would take us almost almost nowhere near almost nothing Almost nothing or less than a third of one percent of the No, no three would be one percent. Oh, you're right. Okay. Thank God. Yeah, so this is at least

That least it's almost like two and a half two and a third percent See that's not too bad. That was that was one hour. So molten you So just multiply that by 30. 50. Yeah. Okay. We're going to do it. It's going to be okay. Yeah.

And also, we won't spend time having a bunch of fun. We'll just keep moving. There's going to be no risk of that. We'd like to take us through the ideas that we came out of that. Yeah, we got dog man hybrid, which would be vastly superior because stronger, but also more convincing, right? Then we got flesh cube alien, the endopede,

which is this flesh cube that kind of thuds as it kind of rolls, but in a cube like way. Like a dice. Like a dice, yeah. But it's actually two people. I don't know. I think that that's also quite how it got horror movies type things to it.

Because that thud is what would be scary. It's like that meat-meat slapping tile sound. You know? I think that could be spooky. Then, I imagine I'd just say a dropping a big like slab of meat onto some tiles. I think that would be very exciting to hear, very satisfying. Then we got the magazines, hottest men and women by temperature. And we got got separating brain hemispheres at birth, big dorsal fins, splits body into two halves so that the two halves of the brain don't know about the other parts of the other halves of the body.

Then I can be raised separately and they can be allowed to flourish. You know, it's like, you know, this is my dilemma with the twins, knowing whether or not to put them in separate classes and that sort of thing. And we should do the same with the halves of our head. Who we were as well, right? Put them in separate classes. I don't know. Who knows?

I guess it's the dilemma. If it's a dilemma, if it wasn't, it wasn't that easy. I guess you would have figured it out. Yeah, you're probably right though, Alistair. But yeah, it does. Then it also feels a bit crazy to split them up, Alistair. But yeah, it does. Then it also feels a bit crazy to split them up, right? They're best friends, they're brothers.

Oh, yeah, no, you can't spend time together all day. Well, you can't at lunchtime. Some reason. Yeah, I mean, yeah. Yeah, I don't know. Anyway, if you have the answer. I mean, and also at home. And also at home, it'll be on the way. We don't allow them to spend on the game.

Okay. Yeah, that's cool. Yeah, that makes sense. And then there's ground level housing all taken up so you can build up a sky, but everything has to be clear. That's the glass. You know, we got soup shots. Then we got heart, heart shape, box of soup filled croutons for the savory lover. And then we got negative space, the evil creature. Yes, we did it. We did a, boom, boom,

boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom,

boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom,

boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, He's at Alistair TV. We are at Two in Tank. You can check out the discord and have a little chat. You can find us on Instagram at Two in Tank. You can support us on Patreon if you like. It's been very helpful. If you people have gotten us through a terrible pandemic, hopefully you're all

getting through the pandemic together. I really hope so. They say together. I mean, I don't know if all our listeners are in one place, sort of an old warehouse somewhere and they listen to it on a big loud speaker. Maybe. I assume so. That's how I justify the load, download numbers. I assume they're all listening.

Oh, the one thing that being rude. I assume they're all in the big room and the guards just play it on the loud speaker as torture. So thank you very much. I hope you're having a decent time. And if you are the warden in a large prison, please do just put on the podcast. Put on the pack. But that would be cool. Like in, like in Shawshank redemption. Yeah, that would be cool. And if you work on a building site to play it out loud like that, you know, yeah, exactly. And we love you. You. Bye. See you. Bye, see ya. Bye, Tis.

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