Simple Swedish Podcast - 294 - "DIGESTIVE TRACTOR"

Episode Date: July 14, 2021

Book Singer, Achilles Tongue, One on One Invasion, Genetic Honour, Double Stampdards, DT, Butt Trunk, Someone is Eating the PresidentYou can support the pod by chipping in to our patreon here (thank you!)Listen and subscribe to THE POP TEST on Radio National or as a PodcastJoin the other TITTT scholars on the TITTT discord server hereGet Magma here: https://sospresents.com/programs/magmaHey, why not listen to Al's meditation/comedy podcast ShusherDon't forget TITTT Merch is now available on Red Bubble. Head over here and grab yourselves some material objectsYou can find us on twitter at @twointankAndy Matthews: @stupidoldandyAlasdair Tremblay-Birchall: @alasdairtb and instaAnd you can find us on the Facebook right hereEverthanks to George for producing this episode. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Most weight loss programs are short-term fixes, but managing your weight needs a long-term solution. And that's what makes NUME different. NUME uses science and personalization to help you manage your weight for the long-term. Their psychology-based approach helps you build better habits and behaviors that are easier to maintain. The best part? You decide how NUME fits into your life, not the other way around. Sign up for your trial today at noom.com. That's n-o-o-m dot com to sign up for your trial today. into their little car. Everybody's driving to America. It's right, we're driving to America today onto in the Think Tank.

It's a transatlantic special. That's right. Revisiting some of the great American characters we've had on the show over the years. And doing generally a salute to all things US of A. Also, so transatlantic doesn't mean in between the Atlantic Well I don't know that's one of the things. That's one of the great things are gonna be exploring today's transatlantic episode We could be doing all the great American characters

and the great and the great British characters and European characters and African characters who are in the ocean currently. I'm particularly looking forward to doing all those great African characters. I think that's gonna go great. Well, you can do them however you want. Look, I will do one right now just

to break the ice. Alright this guy's name will be King. Oh yes King. Yesett. Ironically, it's going to be King Leopold, the Belgian king, who claimed the Congo. Exactly. You see, I think he would have considered himself an African. Yeah. And what I'm saying is actually much more offensive than Eddie Aksad Alistair could have done. Well, no, you're saying that he considered himself that.

And so I think. And so I think... I think City Assel and African consider yourself part of the continent. That is. That is some great Dickens music. Did Dickens write music? Did they add the music later? I think what they've found is that a lot of his books are very singable. Right. You know, what I would love, you know, on specs and specs, how they would do that segment where somebody would get up and they would sing the words of a book, some random book to the tune of a popular song. Well, what I would love is for

somebody to sing, to read a popular song with the emotional rhythms of a famous novel. And I think it would go. I want you to In the Jungle, the mighty jungle, the lion sleeps tonight, I believe is what it's called. German accent would sound like. In C. jungle, C. mate jungle, the lion slips. Too night. Too night. Too night. I, uh, yeah. I thought I'd set up a difficult one. You probably laid me up the easiest possible softball

from the range of hardballs that I'd set out for us. And I still don't think I really made contact with the ball. But is that a sketch? I mean, it's definitely a... What about... It's definitely a segment. Getting an audiobook. But getting your favorite books, but getting them sung. So getting to listen to grapes of Roth or Wrath sung by, you know, Sam Smith or Adele, you know, and she just, she just belts it out. She sort of improvises a melody and she does that thing where they sing all around the note.

You know, and book and it's just so just says books sung by the singer 18 Alice Just just riffing If I knew the following Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. They're such masterful interpreters of song. And I just think it's a shame that we don't see how masterfully they could interpret book. Well, we don't let them.

But I mean, you could just tell them. We don't let them. We don't let them. You could tell them, all right, look, just for simplicity's sake, you know, because some artists are more recording artists than they are singers. And so they, I mean, they're like, no, then they are kind of, you know, writers and

improvisers and stuff like that. So some of them, you could just say, okay, you can do the whole book to the Melania Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star. That would be so horrific, so cruel. So it just start again. And I think in reality, people will have to, will need, will need structure. And I think Mary had a little lamb, would it be even worse? Yeah, if I knew the beginning of a single book,

I mean, I would really be able to riff the shit out of this. So I guess I could. It was a dark and stormy night. Stormy night. Oh, so he's going to repeat words as well. When the melody repeats, it's going to be slow going. It's real. You're only going to get like 20 words ahead every every loop of the song Yeah, the listeners might notice already that we're not as tired as we normally

Oh, yes, or if we are tired, it's a different type of tie The tiredness you get from just waking up Just waking up. It's very early in the morning when we're recording this episode. And I think it's good because isn't it interesting that there are different types of tiredness. You know, there's your brain shut. You know, you have the same level of brain function, but it's on a different trajectory.

You know, once on the way up and once on the way down, they say, I love that expression. Whatever it is, they say you play such as, well, that joke, is it a joke? You do this twice in your career, once on the way up and once on the way down, it's good to be banged. That is beautiful. That is beautiful in its simplicity let it subtlety. Oh, there's so much in there, isn't it? Yeah.

Like, it is a full story and it has a motion. Oh, I wonder who's responsible for that joke. We can Google it after this and then we can write up a paper on it. But we should, there is a full paper in that. Well, there should be at least a thing where it's like, you know, you can just have a bit of an appreciation of all the all-time great jokes. No one's just like, everybody's doing an episode by know, the Simpsons or like the sopranos or something like that. Star Trek, the next generation. But nobody's doing joke by joke. Joke by joke of the career of Bridgette. It's a

one episode per joke. One line, one episode. That's actually really fun. And then we do some bonus episodes on some of the pauses that he does in between. But then some of his jokes. Then the next season we do, some of his time, some of the things he said before he was a comedian. Oh. We can find records of any of those. A prequel. Uh, prequel. Mm-hmm.

Hi, Veid. You know, they've done, they've done young Chris Rock, right? Everyone, everybody hates Chris. Mm, they're doing young. And they've done the rock. The rock. They're doing young the rock. Yeah.

Who I think of as a comedian. He's a comedian of the body. He's a comedian old man. You think his body is funny? I do. He doesn't make my mouth laugh. He makes my chest and legs laugh. He's a comedian of the body.

It's the God. I mean, there's some people who use their body to be funny. But then there's also some people who use their mouth to make your everything but your head laugh. I mean, is that just sort of a kind of a, a ticoling? Ticoling? Ticoling.

Maybe. Are they ticoling you with their tongue? Is that what you were describing? Because you're right, there are some people who do that. I wonder how much you would have to pay the rock to do that. Everybody's got their price, the rock. But it's just, it's just as tug as well. Yeah.

We're not using, you know, we're not being a good enuant and using every part of the rock. No. We are just using his tongue, which of all the bits of the rock that you would choose to highlight for your oral experience. It's interesting that his tongue is probably the one muscle he hasn't developed. That's true. Yeah.

Well, that's true. He's got a very intense routine. You know, sees the day, get up early, you know, make the most. He's working every part of the body, but the tongue just lays there, ignored. Mmm. Flaccid in his mouth. Flaccid. He always skips tongue days.

And. And, but we could be that tongue day. What I think would be good about that experience. It would be that by experiencing his tongue looking you all over your body and tickling you, it would humanize him. Right? It would make him more of a more, by realizing that we all have the same tongue. Yeah, well for him it's kind of a killi's tongue. Yeah, well for him it's kind of a killy's tongue. Like if ever you were to ride the rock into battle, or you know, or, you know, which I can imagine.

I mean, you could imagine piggybacking the rock into battle, or getting piggybacked by the rock, not. Yeah, I can imagine that. But then I started imagining piggybacking. And then Hannibal said, what if we ride on the elephants? Yeah, it was there ever a scenario where people were bringing the horses on their back. They were like, oh, we could eat these in the battlefield. They're carrying the horses on their back. We could eat these in the battlefield and they're carrying the horses on their back.

Well, what... Yeah, I guess eating them in the battlefield is... It's like before they discovered the... Before they used the wheel for transportation. Yeah. I think the... Maybe the Aztecs had used it on like toys and stuff like that and Is a similar thing of being like you know what we could ride these horses I'm sure they used them for something else before they rode on them right like they would have used them for For just for transport or maybe for food. I think they used them for food before that I think I know the Indo the Indo Europeans. I think Had them for oh, we've to have we know the Indo-Europeans, I think, had them for.

Have we talked about this? We have talked about that from the past. We talked about possibly riding on a sandwich, right? Oh, yeah. That's true. Oh, that was on the pop test. Yeah, no, but it doesn't matter. We can still talk about riding the rock into battle, or the idea that the rock, he wasn't dipped in a river as a child, help dangling by his tongue.

He created his own powers through muscle development. Yes. And so... And marketing. And marketing. Oh yeah, I wonder how he did that He crafted his image. He put his much work into sculpting his image as he did in sculpting his body That's true. That's true. And then but then

through some You know terrible historical event. We're all fighting ground war by foot Which is probably one of the lesser bad outcomes historical event, we're all fighting ground war by foot. Mm-hmm. Right? Mm-hmm. Which is probably one of the lesser bad outcomes than they could happen, because we could all just get wiped out by bombs. But for some reason, an electro-magnetic vaporized. An electro-magnetic.

We just be microwave radiation and our skin just boils and our heads explode. Exactly. And we just look around at the people around us in the street as one by one their eyes pop. Yeah. And we're like, well, that was it. And that's all we know about the end of the world. That's the full thing. Yeah.

And then, but then in this scenario, we're running into battle on a country, but there'll be a battle on every country. So it just happens to be that we're running in the same country that the rocks, sort of, you know, pressed tour was in at the time. And we're running next to them and he's slaying so many of the enemy, which are from a country and I couldn't possibly guess which one. And then... But there's a lot of them, right? I.

But there's a lot of everybody, you know? I don't even like referring to them as them to me. I just think they're friends I haven't met yet, but that are being told by them. But we're slaying each other because of what our leaders have told us to do. And you know, I love it. And enemy is just a friend you haven't slayed,

it doesn't work. Yeah, well, it's possible, yeah. A friend is just an enemy you haven't sl work. Yeah. Well, that's possible. Yeah. A friend is just an enemy. You haven't slide yet. I mean, that's almost something. Yeah. I guess I think that's true. Yeah.

And then, anyway, he's slain heaps of people. But nobody can slay him. And then until one day, somebody throws a spear. And then it goes through his tongue, which he's poking, he's poking a little bit out of the corner of his mouth while he slays. I think he might have been poking it out in a celebration, you know, like you do. Well he's also just slayed somebody. He's some on.

And so there are some celebrations that some ones do that do really protrude the tongue. Yeah. And so you could. And that was the hubris that made him well, and it was during that moment that the the spear went through his tongue and just so like an brrrr into his chin, but through his tongue. And then, and that's when he realized that, you know, And then, and that's when he realized that, you know, a spear in the tongue, a spear in the tongue was his kryptonite. And then he kind of such a, I guess, losing blood. Yeah, but he probably can't eat now as well. That's true. And so he might just waste away. Be awful to watch.

Well, that's right. And he wouldn't be able to kiss anyone because the spear would put such a distance between him and everybody else. Yeah, so he dies from the inside out, you know, because of a want of emotional intimacy. Yeah, well, that's right. At that point, he's probably more at risk of ending himself and he's probably the only person who can. Real. Now, I had an idea for, ah, yes, I had an idea for a new alien invention, a new alien invasion, Alice. Yeah. Right.

And it's a sort of, it's a one-on-one alien invasion. Okay. So what it is, aliens appear. They land their planet here. Absolutely. No, no, no, it's not, well, that's not my version, but I'm interested. But they appear everywhere on earth, right? And, you know, exactly the number of humans that

they're on earth, that's the number of alien that's assigned to you is, there's only, it will only fight you, it won't fight anybody else. So to succeed in defeating these aliens, in defeating these aliens, every individual on earth has to overcome their own personal alien. And I wonder if for some reason I don't know what could stop us, but we aren't able to team up to fight the aliens as well. Yeah, presumably because we're too busy fighting our own aliens. Yeah, and our alien is probably blocking us. Yeah, yeah, it blocks us from from fighting anybody else. I mean, it might have some sort of, but I like the idea psychic power. Maybe that I mean, but if they've got psychic power,

then it makes the fight not so good. But I don't know. Well, they only use it to, they only use the psychic power to stop you from fighting anybody. What I like is that this in my mind, this alien species is so honorable that the accept, that whoever they lose of their species was a weaker version and therefore they just accept their death and then they accept all the winners into their new society.

So we join with the aliens? Well, yeah, well they live here with us and they... and we just... Oh, yeah, that is... that is interesting. Right? So maybe this new alien is kind of a version of you as well. Like it doesn't look 100% like you, but it would, you know, that if it wins the fight, it will assume it will take your life and assume your role in society. It's kind of invasion of the body snacks.

Yeah, it's kind of like a parallel universe. They've come from a parallel timeline where Yeah, where you've got the exact Number of people with that are similar, but they could be purple and you have sort of big like big tongues that go down their back or something like that Tongues for teeth and teeth for tongue That would be so interesting. I you would need like a hard palate on the top of your mouth to use it. For the tooth to be used.

Yeah. Well, not necessarily. If it's one big hard tooth, they could mash up their food by just smashing, poking their tooth out and smashing their face against the plate. Do you think they would be able to? Maching the food in that way. To tooth out? Yeah, they can poke their tooth out. And then they... and smashing their face against the plate. Do you think they would be able to... Matching the food in that way? And...

Yeah, they can poke their tooth out, and then they... So it's kind of like a tongue. Yeah, yeah, exactly. I'm glad you're on board. Yeah, yeah. And then they use all their little teeth out. And so can they not... Can they not move their... Slurp up.

...to their teeth tongues, because they're kind of like teeth. They... No, no, no, they can. Okay. They're very like tongues. Yeah, but thanks for asking. And thanks for helping to clarify the idea. Oh, it's okay. I was just trying to see, you know, in which, they can't. They're very like tongues. Yeah, but thanks for asking and thanks to helping to clarify the I was okay I was just trying to see you know in which ways it wasn't an exact one-to-one swap like this in alien invasion is

Yeah, well there you go. Do you think that do you think their tongues and their teeth swapped because they did battle? And the tongues won and they're very honorable, but the teeth managed to destroy the tongue. They're a very honorable society, and that is what happens. I think it's really interesting that the teeth and the tongue would battle for the ultimate prize which I suppose is being the tongue and the teeth. It was a draw. The tongue's in losing... Oh, yeah.

That's unpleasant to try and think about. But I mean, this is cool because what they're bringing is a new type of genetics. It's genetic honorability where your genes fight other genes. You know, and sometimes body parts fight other body parts. Body parts fight other body parts. We need to introduce the concept of competition into the individual. Well, it could be that every individual's form, every part of the body has its equivalent hemisphere of the brain and its own consciousness. And so, and the whole, the brain is like a parliament. Yeah.

And they all, you know, they all have, you know, debates, they all have arguments. And sometimes they go to war with each other. You know, the foot. Every morning, every morning, you're every part of your body battles every other part of your body to decide who gets to be the brain for the day. And the dominant, the dominant hemisphere or the oedecosphere of the brain. And then they get to make all the decisions. And it's the shoulder. Finally, we get to live the day that the shoulder would live if it was in charge.

So it becomes the kind of, it becomes the president. We do things a little bit different around here. The shoulder. And it's the shoulder's always like, suddenly it's like shimmying its way through the day. the shoulder. The shoulder is always like suddenly it's like shimmying its way through the day. I guess the shoulder yeah that's all it can do really is shimmie. There's just different different tempos of shimmying and that's the only way in which it can express itself. the only way in which you can express itself.

Yes. Until. Most weight loss programs are short-term fixes, but managing your weight needs a long-term solution. And that's what makes NUME different. NUME uses science and personalization to help you manage your weight for the long-term. Their psychology-based approach helps you build better habits and behaviors that are easier

to maintain. The best part? You decide how noom fits into your life, not the other way around. Sign up for your trial today at noom.com. That's n-o-o-m dot com to sign up for your trial today. Uh, you get struck by lightning and in a freaky Friday type situation, the today. There's a lot of changes around here. And then you've got a big brain on your shoulder, which I think would look nice like a big flower. Like an image where somebody's got a big, you can imagine a fashion thing where somebody's

got a big flower on their shoulder, can you imagine it? I can imagine that, yeah, definitely. But I'm not sure if you would literally see the brain on the shoulder, can you imagine that? I can imagine that, yeah, definitely. But I'm not sure if you would literally see the brain on the shoulder and the shoulder where the head would be. I think you get up and you find out what shape your body's gonna be in this day. Yeah, yeah. I mean, that's all that's horrible.

I guess I'd hate that. I guess I'm just thinking. I kind of want my body to check. If the tongue become, if the teeth become the tongues and the tongue becomes tooth I don't know if we cannot do it to the brain, you know You're you're right Alistair. Have you written anything down in the last? Yeah, you know 15 minutes. Yeah, oh great Yeah, just checking in. Yeah, well you think I'm checking. Yeah, Yeah, what do you think I'm, I don't know. You think I'm a psychopath?

Because we've been, we've been slipstream in our way. I've also managed to eat two boiled eggs during the time that we've, this is, That's, that's very impressive. I would, what a great podcasting food. Yeah, it wouldn't be if we were in a small room because I think it's kind of got that egg smell. And we're definitely not having it

just for the three months of episode. But the podcast diet, have we discussed this? The podcast diet of being foods that you can only eat quietly, what would it be like? What is that like from a health perspective? We might find that quiet foods are the healthiest foods. Well, I guess because crunch doesn't seem like it's necessary for.

It doesn't. Nutritionally. No, what it feels like is a luxury. And we learn that most luxuries that most luxuries in food terms, things that we actually enjoy in food terms are unhealthy. You know, when the crunchiest chip is the... The wheeliest. ...probably the the the the the earliest, the least healthy of the chips And it's true and I'm sure without looking into it

that the same applies right across the edible kingdom. Yeah, well, I mean I guess there's there's also more chance carrots apples cucumbers all of these are exceptions that prove the rule well Yeah, but they're they're crunchy in a different way. I don't think they're, you know, they're like a hard crunchy chip, either crisp or hot chip. It's more likely to have a sharp corner on it that will perforate the gut. And that is famously unhealthy.

Well, I think so. What's good for a stamp is not so good for the gut. That's right. It seems like it's one rule for a for a rim of stamps. Yeah. From the post office in the 90s and a completely different rule for the lining of the gastrointestinal system. Hmm.

Double standards much. Well, I think so. Well, I think so. Similar things, I guess, to that is that it's not good to put a photo of the queen on the inside of your intestinal tract. I, and in it. Exactly. And it's probably not good.

Another example. Exactly. Someone to lick the back of it. Hmm. Yep. Yep. Yeah. You see, you see the stuff that we just put up with that we just accept. We don't even, this is how ingrained it is. It's not okay.

We don't even notice that kind of stuff. Keep your digestive track in a drawer in a room that, no, you don't go in very often. Yes. With a bunch of tape and pens and blue tack. Not okay to attach your digestive tract to a rectangle of paper and send it to the other side of the world as a as as a memento of somewhere that you visited. And yet, you can do that to a step. Very interesting. Yeah, yeah, that seems fair. Yeah, okay. Good one.

Okay, society. I think that one, I don't even feel uncomfortable about that one, I was there. Yeah, as in, it was writing a ton as a sketch. I mean, I don't know. I'm gonna ride it down. Yeah, great. Great, ride it down, Elastair.

One rule for you eating, eating whole, I like calling it a tract. I like calling it a tract. What a fantastic word. It's tracked with a T, right? This it a tract? What a fantastic word. Is it tracked with a tea, right? This is a new idea, Alistair. It's called the gastrointestinal tractor. And what it is, is it's a little wheeled vehicle

that when you eat something that you know is not good for your body, and you need it to get through without blocking you up or causing you discomfort. You eat whatever it is and then you swallow the gastrointestinal tractor and it's little engine chugs away and it just pushes that food all the way through the entire digestive system with it's exactly, with it's high levels of torque and it's little, little scoop scrape and it just, it just plows on through and then out the butt. And in that way, you can eat things that are less digestible but with a secure in the knowledge that they're going to be coming out regular as clockwork.

That's right, because you know, you've got meters per second that it's going to be traveling. And you've got, I guess, eventually exact, the exact length of your track. And so you can eat it knowing full well that at 8.56 tomorrow, it's all coming up. I guess the other great advantage of this is a kind of a mechanical laxative that I don't trust chemicals in my body. I want to put chemicals in my body except obviously the exhaust fumes of this tractor which does run on two-stroke. But you swallow it and then it works its way through until it gets to the blockage in the bow and it just Grines it out grind

Well, you're making it sound like a boring machine Yeah, it is Is one of those I mean would be cool to get one of those big tumbling machines in there. You know, really clear. I think it'd be better than that. Be better than one of those things, animals or whatever, coffee, animal or something like that.

Yeah, it doesn't even make sense. The coffee animal. Well, I want to get stuff out of my butt and you're poking stuff in. You're putting coffee in there. Yeah, no, here, like, I mean, that's not as crazy as the, um, as the toffee animal that I had come up with. Um, hot toffee. You know, sure, when it does come out, yeah, it really does capture everything that was in his place, but it's dislodging that that hunk of fudge

is near near impossible hunk of fudge Yeah, I guess it would harden everything into a sort of a shaft of sugary fecal matter. Yeah. That you could then maybe like drill a big screw into and pull it out with a...

Well, you could anchor yourself, you know, you could use that as a... You could anchor yourself, yeah, you're right. You know, you could, from the outside, you could just get a good solid. Like, I mean, if let's say you needed to dangle, there's never a good, single, good body part that you could dangle from that sort of distributes the weight enough. Well, it's, you know, but the tail, if we were, you know, the tail,

which is the traditional dangling thing for primates, it would be, you know, is located conveniently close to the center of gravity, you know, at the butt area. But no big aims have it. What's the biggest tail user? It's a really good question. There's enough for limitless. Yeah, love to see a gorilla dangling from just a ripped tail.

Yeah, like I think just as, you know, it's thick as your thigh. love to see a gorilla dangling from just a ripped title. Like I think just as you know, it's thick as you find. You need like an elephant's trunk to kind of tail. Like if it could be your nose, I don't care. You know, I don't care. I don't care. I mean, there's no, I mean this, I guess the principle is the same as a nose. If you just had a butt that is a trunk, you know.

No! Yeah. Like, you could, you could, you know, it's not different than just having your, you know, your track just goes for, you know, another meter and a half, two meters. But it's too like the idea of a butt trunk that you can you can shit up to two meters away from yourself. Yeah, and like you could be with your pre-hands on. Exactly, and you can be still sitting there watching a movie with your beloved. And then your trunk just starts creeping out of the room and goes into the bathroom. And then it still kind of got those edges like that that are like fingers that can grab the toilet paper

do everything. Like that is probably like a little sink in the bathroom. We would probably do that. And then you can flush it and then it can just come back in. Well, you could just have like a little room under the couch where it's just a toilet room under the couch where you can your trunk can go Like a little trap door that it opens up and allows you here. You can do your biz

At little little borough that it goes down deep down hiding away shamefully But then you never know you never have to take your arm away from around your beloved Which makes it so you don't have to ruin that special moment. That's right in the head Just because you're shitting But then that would also allow you to dangle You could dangle from almost anything you name a thing you could dangle from it Mm-hmm, um, um, Mucky bars You could dangle from almost anything you name a thing you could dangle from it Monkey bars

Yeah, I The floor Yep Chair yeah, yeah Yeah, yeah. Great. Okay, so I think it's time for three words from a listener. A cloud? Yeah, no go.

Oh, man, we've only done 35 minutes, but I think it's fine. I think when you're producing so much, we're obviously... We're in training for episode 300. Oh, we should tell people that the live episode of the pop test that we advertised last week is, it's no longer happening. It's not long going to be happening. Yeah, sorry. It's, we're going to re, re attempt at a later date, possibly a much later date, but you'll be the first to know. Yeah. And next time, it's for real. You think so? Okay, great.

All right, you ready for three words from listener? I don't think we've done these, but then again, who knows? These three words are from a listener called Robert Goslin. Rob Goslin. Rob Goslin. Robert, thank you so much. Robby Gos. And Rob Goss. Rob, thank you so much. Robby Goss. And there's three words there. And yeah, I don't know if you want to guess what the first one is.

Yeah. Yeah, I do. The first word is, fold. Fold? Fold. No, no, no, it's cannibals. Oh, sorry, I was close.

Yeah, yeah. Banjo?. Oh, sorry, I was close. Banjo? Banjo, no. Ocean style. That's really good. Cannibals. Ocean style. Cruise? Oh, very close, very close.

Heist. Cannibals. Ocean close. Heist. Cannibals. Ocean style heist. Oh, I see. Danny Ocean. Ocean's 11 style. I mean, I was thinking the aquatic style. Well, it does it. It could be a cannibals ocean style heist, a ocean style in the way that an ocean would steal a baseball diamond or whatever. Hmm, hang on how? Well, I mean, the ocean takes from all of us, doesn't it? Yes. So you were thinking that a baseball diamond, did you pick that because a diamond is a valuable gem and a baseball diamond is kind of like, is like that? I think I watched one movie with a cat burglar in it. Yeah, and it stole a baseball diamond. He stole the baseball diamond, but I think it was the it was the Muppets' keeper, I think.

Maybe the baseball diamond isn't a real thing. Well, hang on, no, but wait, well, the baseball diamond is a real thing in the context of a baseball pitch or field, or whatever you call it, right? Yeah, right. The baseball diamond is what the, what the pitcher stands on.

Or maybe it's the whole thing. I think it might be the whole film. Yeah, maybe. Yeah, right. And then the baseball diamond, I guess, in Muppets, was an actual diamond. Is an actual diamond. The size of a baseball?

Yeah, it was a big diamond. Round diamond. Did it have stitching on it? I don't think so. I think it was just big as a baseball. It was just a big diamond. Cool, cool, cool. Get that.

All right, great. And a... Well, like, for example, the ocean often steals things by taking little bits at a time. Yes. And then putting it somewhere else, you know? So, I mean, the tathra beach where I was did a lot of my growing up.

It changes dramatically over the years Sometimes there's really steep little sand cliffs Sometimes there doesn't seem to be very much. It just goes down for ages before there's water you know The sand is disappearing because of this Ocean style heist That the ocean is participating in. And also it takes the sand and then it mixes it in with a bunch of other sand

that looks exactly like it. Yeah, I mean the oceans, I mean I think that new movie was what's it called? Like Hurricane High, still something like that? To know. I think this is a new film in which they try to rob a bank or a casino or something while a natural disaster is occurring. Oh, it's interesting. And yeah. It's hard to play.

It is. It is because it's so notoriously difficult to predict, but I wonder if that's, you know, what the, what the, the movie explores that they, I guess it's about being ready at any point at all moments. Needs that. I guess if you're in tornado alley, you know, it's going to come eventually.

But I think every heist team, they didn't show this in Ocean's 11, but every Heist team needs a good meteorologist. Yeah, gadget guy and the meteorologist. Do you think he sits in the van? Or do you think the meteorologist has to be out there with their finger and their wet finger in the air? I think he has to be outside talking to the people on the street with his microphone with his finger in the ear. Throwing back to the studio. That's how they operate. They love it. But we have to remember though that this is a cannibal's ocean style heist. So if it was, of was discussing as in it was a cannibal stealing like like the ocean does it would be a cannibal who takes tiny little bits of flesh off of people by every time he just comes up and he touches them. So he's just, it might just seem like a friendly person. Right? Just touches the arm.

Touches the arm in a comforting way, right? And then in this arm comes back. He's got a few of your, a few of your cells. He's got a little bit of your flesh. Just tiny imperceptible bits. I think what this has to be is this has to be a big score, right? Like in Ocean's 11, it has to be a big thing. So really, I think the cannibal has to be eating something, well, somebody important.

I think they should be eating the president. Okay. And I think they're eating the president slowly. And I can just picture the line in the trailer. Sir, somebody is eating the president slowly. And I can just picture the line in the trailer. Sir, somebody is eating the president. Yeah. And just they got to try and work out who it is, how are they getting in there, eating a little bit of the. It's got to be one of the staff, right? What do you think it's one of the staff? I mean, very often these things, it's device president,

you know, so close to the throne, the taste of power. Maybe we could be discovering that it's the president himself. He sure he always wanted to eat the president. He was a cannibal who'd always wanted to eat the president and he realized the only way to do that was to become president. I think I'm not sure whether or not cannibals place a higher value on eating more powerful people, but it seems possible. I'm into this idea, I think. It's a good movie idea.

Even bits of the president, you know, they could be, you know, like a whole finger disappears in the night, and they just can't work it out. The president, the somehow they're using some kind of anesthetics. The president doesn't even realize what's happening. It's pretty cool. Yeah, but imagine, imagine what the secret service would have to do once they realized it was the president eating himself. You know, they walk in. they find blood on his arm as it's gone, because

his hand is now completely eaten, but then they also find blood on his lips. Sir sir did the cannibal eat some of your lips he goes Yes Hmm and they were delicious he told me I mean what would they do with me? How do you protect the present for you? So if you know what this could be a great metaphor for the way in which the American political machine is destroying itself You know? Interesting. If you want a metaphor,

you want a fucking metaphor. Enjoy, you think I need one? Or do I say, am I coming across like I need a metaphor, Andy? You're a yearning. Yeah, I do. I can detect the yearning. Yeah, you're right, you're not wrong. Feel the yearning.

Thank you, Robert Goslin. I hope that's an okay idea. We don't have time to go deeper into it just because our lives are so busy. So sorry. But let me let me let me take you through the sketch ideas. Everybody else stop listening. I'll just do this for Rob. Sketch ideas for today is book sung by the singer on tape. Yeah. This is a song by the singer. I'm saying that like it's sung by the author,

but it's just sung by the singer and whoever the singer is. That's just, you find out when you start listening. Probably Christine Aguilera. She's not as busy these days. She's not as busy. Then we got the rocks Achilles tongue. Yeah, because because it's the one bit he doesn't work out. And... I think, I wonder if in wrestling, if anyone ever went for his tongue, you know, surely that would be...

No, they probably would go for his eyebrow. That seemed to be, you know, a point that was very, it was a strong thing that he had. He had a strong eyebrow, didn't he? Yeah, he did, but, you know, I don't think they would go for that. You don't think they would try to destroy what defined him?

I don't think they would attack the strongest part of him. I think that's the whole point of the thing that we've been talking about. I know, but this is more strong in terms of imagery. Oh, okay. The tongue. It could be like his Samson's here. Maybe Samson and Delilah. Is that the one? Samson, he had like seven locks.

I think that's like the justification for dreadlocks and in the Rastafarianism, maybe that story. Anyway, we got one-on-one alien invasion from a very honorable alien civilization. Mmm. It's a mono-amano style. Yeah. Tell they want to do it. Mano, Emanuello.

That's what it's meant on Imanuel. Okay. Which is the Iman you also, man. E. Did you know what E means in Spanish? Yep. What? That's right. What does it mean?

It means it means A. No. E means A. No, E. So it means A. Man. And you mean a man. A means not.

Man, a man. No, E means and I think. Okay. And then we got, but take us as part of, you know, A is in there. So you weren't that far. Then we got genetic honor. This is body battle where parts have consciousness and the brain is a parliament. You know, and they just, they battle it out and they do swaps. It's a new type of genetics.

Body changes every day, like, sort of like, you know, like the boundaries of a country. In turmoil. Every day. Every day. Well, you know, if you're thinking about it, the ocean boundaries. I

am. You know, I think it'll be great. Then we got double standards, one rule for digestive tracks, one rule for stamps. Oh, Jesus Christ. And we got the digestive tractor. Ah, you like that one, right? Well, I can at least I can envision, I can envision it. At least it has a physical form that I can picture in my mind. Yeah, it's not an abstract concept. You can't, you can't place it in nature. You can't, you can't, you can't even conceive of what it means. You can't place things into context in your mind. Not if they're insane. I could do it even if they're insane. Look at this.

Okay, look, philopeian garbage. All right, look at this. Okay, so that seems like it's completely insane. But now let's put it into a context. You're in a woman's in a kind of college, kind of collegeical a kind of college, a doctor's office, and she's saying, oh, the doctor's saying the source of your pain seems to be these cans and stuff, and sludge, sort of based food decomposing sludge

that is coming out of your fallopian tubes, boom. Context. Yeah, wow, you really you shared me and I apologize. I didn't say I was turning it into a sketch. I said I was putting it into context. You're the context king. I'm not claiming to be the king. I'm just claiming to have a tiny space of land where I make my home and I just go about my business. Then we got butt trunk, of course, the butt trunk. That one's easy to do in visits. What are you gonna do with all that trunk?

All that trunk inside your trunk? Well, I'll tell you what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna walk my trunk out of the room and do a shit while I'm talking to you in the kitchen. That's right, my toilet adjoins the kitchen. And then we've got someone is eating the president slowly, the movie. Yes. Sir, if somebody is eating the president, that's all you need.

That's all you need. Like you wouldn't go see that. Exactly. It's all you need. That's all you need. Let you wouldn't go see that. Exactly. We could have a very good career in B movies by just committing and writing these very good career in B movies, which is actually quite a bad career in A movies. Sure, but well done. Yeah, but a good career in B-movies. I think we could do well. We could be right at the top of the heap of these.

You know, we could have Bob Sagitt and Lindsay Lo and starring in our movies. Yes. I think it'd be great. I know, it's a bit hard to reach out. You know, I know some of these things are a bit abstract, and it's probably hard for you to see them in the real world. But I'll paint a picture for you next time when you're by Andy.

Put it in so context so you can understand. Thanks, thanks, dude. Thanks, dog. P-w-p-k-s-p-u-w-p-k-s-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b- to tune the think tank show where we come up with five sketch ideas. I don't know, Alistair. Well, in case we didn't, I'm just saying it now. Thank you, that's what it wants to say. Thank you for listening. We appreciate it. We can find us on tune the think tank Twitter.

I'm at Stupid Old Andy. I'm at two in tank and at Alistair TV. And I'm also at two in tank on Instagram and at A Trumbly Virtual. And you can support us on Patreon. Somebody just did. Somebody just did. Yeah, amazing. Yeah, some people. I'm not a beautiful thing to do.

Some people have been sending in some extra three words. Appreciate it. Thank you very much. And you can send us suggestions for the side tank as well, if you're... For the side tank. Absolutely. Yeah. I mean, you could just send us suggestions for the side tank as well if you're a side tank. Absolutely. Yeah. I mean, you could just send us suggestions for our lives. You know, last two episodes of, you know, of both immortal with

Jerry and Mark and to the side tank, both really fun episodes. Yeah. Short, sharp, yeah, immortal, a lot of, immortal could be the, is likely going to be the follow-up to teleport. Now, I know in most of you haven't seen teleport, but we're already working on immortal, which could be the third and final one in the trilogy. That's right.

We're going to kill them off now. Kill them off now. Even though we killed, we killed Jerry off in the back. Yeah, yeah, but they're really, really get a kill. Looney, looney to its rules. And I'll come back. We're gonna kill them off in a mortal. Yeah, that's a good, good idea. And we love, love you, bye. At Nordstrom, you can shop the best holiday gifts for everyone you love, all in one place. You'll find beauty favorites, cozy presents, fun ideas under 100 and more. Like festive dressing for you in your home.

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