Simple Swedish Podcast - 296 - "EXERCISE UNICYCLE"

Episode Date: July 28, 2021

Stinkdependence Day, Spunicycle, Slowdos, Ethyl Merman, Chin Eye, Funghis and Funghers, Bowerboyfriend, Honey I'm HomosapienYou can support the pod by chipping in to our patreon here (thank you!)Listen and subscribe to THE POP TEST on Radio National or as a PodcastJoin the other TITTT scholars on the TITTT discord server hereGet Magma here: https://sospresents.com/programs/magmaHey, why not listen to Al's meditation/comedy podcast ShusherDon't forget TITTT Merch is now available on Red Bubble. Head over here and grab yourselves some material objectsYou can find us on twitter at @twointankAndy Matthews: @stupidoldandyAlasdair Tremblay-Birchall: @alasdairtb and instaAnd you can find us on the Facebook right herePanthankual thanks to George for producing this episode. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Where the music was not music, the words were barely words and so unpleasant. It was gross. It was gross. At the only reason that everything hadn't gone wrong, which because there hadn't yet been time for things to go wrong. But the ride it was on the wall. Yeah, we were likely going to lose our physical form through that turn to some kind of goop,

the bonds in our hydrocar hydrocarbon kind of chains. That's a great idea. It's a converse. A conversation so uncomfortable that it turns you to liquid. You lose at least at least. Oh, I'm sorry. You don't consider goop to be liquid. Oh, do you think goop I think of goop as a semi-liquid,

like more gelatinous. Does it flow? Does goop flow? Does your goop flow? I've never pictured that much goop. Well, you think of it as being limited in a sort of a droplet. I see it more in a pile. A pile, but does it settle in any way?

Yeah, it kind of settles. It finds a structure that wouldn't hold if you applied any forces to it, but that, you know, with gravity. I think we should lobby to get goop classified as a new state of matter. Sorry, it's gloop, isn't it? Gloop.

Goop is that Gwyneth Paltrow thing. This is gloop. Yeah, I know, but she didn't make up that word. Yeah, I know, but I don't think we want to get into that territory. You know, I don't think we want, I don't want to tread on her toes. We can't reclaim goop. I don't want to go on her toes. We can't, we can't reclaim goop.

I don't want to go up against that. Look at, oh my God. My desk is real complex. My description was so good. Look at this meaning on dictionary. Dot, it's called Google. Sloppy or sticky semi fluid matter. Typically something unpleasant.

It's pretty good. Now let's look up gloop. Sloppy or sticky semi-fluid matter, typically something unpleasant. Wow. So that L has no effect on the meaning of the word. The only, you could put as many of those Ls in there as you wanted to, and it wouldn't change the meaning.

Well, you could chuck Ls all over the place. Goop says that it's informal but North American. Goop says it's informal, but it doesn't have a location. But the examples are slightly different. One, Goop has markish sentiment, that means, but then the other one has an example of using it. It says, this is gloop. The chicken tikka masala would arrive in a thick liquid gloop. Yeah, I mean, if they put that on the menu, I'm less than keen.

What I like though is that gloop doesn't only imply in North America, it does appear to be universal. And as far as we know, it could be a true universal constant, could be part of a sort of a matter, a language that could be understood, you know, anywhere in the universe. Whereas if you said, Goop, the aliens would just look at you with a, you know, with a furrowed antennae. But, but, but, gloup, yeah, they're on board.

Be great if that was the only thing. The only thing we, we meet aliens, and we try to communicate with them a rival style for 50 years. And the only thing we could agree on at the end of that is the word gloop. And if we say gloop, they'll point to a pile of gloop and likewise they can. They take you onto their ship and they show you the corner where there's just some gloup. Yeah. And that's the giant lip corner. And then we try and build a, you know, an intercivilization form of communication basics entirely around the word gloup and the concept of gloup. And, um, yeah, it does. You know what's interesting? What's interesting is that, you know, this is based off of an idea we had ages ago, that

we, uh, this idea of an alien species who take, you know, kind of maybe kidnaps us or hires us to smell things for them and tell them what it's like because they don't have senses of smell. Could you imagine walking onto their ship and the incredible stink that they might have? Yeah, it's... That they've never fixed because they don't have a sense of smell. Mm.

You don't have a concept of smell. They might just have a toilet corner. Well, I also think though that maybe they're extremely sensitive in otherwise emotionally sensitive and they don't deal well with criticism But I also think though that maybe they're extremely sensitive in other ways, emotionally sensitive, and they don't deal well with criticism. And the reason that they, that no other species that they've encountered has told them about this is because when they do, they take it really badly and they probably start a war or something.

So we need, you know, and I imagine they're probably quite desperate, like as you would be, if you, if you can't handle criticism, you know something is wrong and you don't have the strength to listen to what people are telling you and take it in your safe. And I think what it would have to be is we would have to ignore it for a really long, sorry, yes, yes, all the years, Alistair. But what we would have to do is we'd have to ignore it for a really long, sorry, yes, yes, all the years that will stay. But what we would have to do is we'd have to ignore it for a really long time and just build up trust, okay?

Maybe over generations with this other species living alongside them and we all assume it's agreed not to mention it, right? We're not going to bring it up the smell, okay? Until, you know, a thousand, two thousand years have passed and we're living alongside each other as close as brother and sister. And then finally, as a species, we humans say, all right, it's time to bring this up. But of course, by that point, we've been living alongside them for so long.

We don't even notice the smell. bring this up, but of course by that point, we've been living alongside them for so long, we don't even notice the smell. And we, in fact, start to smell, because we don't can't detect that smell anymore. We forget what it even was we were going to bring up. Okay. I guess we spent so long hanging out with them. It said so long hanging out with them, and now we smell just as bad. And then we also get shunned by the broader galactic community. And that's, what does that tell you about, I guess, toxic relationships? No, I don't know. Well, I guess probably what would happen is that I guess the reason why we bothered being friends with them, if with the spite of having such a bad smell,

is that they probably give us some huge benefit like technology that we would never would have had, or even access to a galactic community. Mm-hmm, although just charming. You know? Do you understand what a privilege it is to be shunned by the galactic community? Because it means that you're a part

of the galactic community. It doesn't, though, I think that's sort of what it, what it, the opposite of what it means in a way. No, but think about it, Eddie. Yeah. Right now, are we being shunned by the Galactic community or does the Galactic community not even know about us? We don't even have access to them.

So is this worse than sort of them all knowing about who we are and how great we are and things like that and then getting rid of us because of our strength? It's like intergalactic Oscar Wilde said, the only thing worse than being shunned by the galactic community is not being shunned by the galactic community. Did he say that?

Yeah, and that was what Alien Oscar Wilde said. Alistair, here's a sketch idea for you. Yeah, but wait, is any of this a sketch idea? Should I write any of this? I think, I guess it's an old sketch idea. No, but I think the idea of aliens coming down and us not trying not to mention something is good as a sketch idea. You know, whatever that actually is,

whatever particular personal habit that they all have that's really unpleasant, we just... But they stink, remember, and it's like this is all the recordings that we play to humans. We've made contact and it's incredible, but just to let you know, they all stink and we can't mention it. Because they just seem a bit sensitive.

Well, I mean, maybe a scout ship arrives, bearing one heavily injured envoy from another civilization that was wiped out by these guys because they got offended when they mentioned that they stink. So their warning to us is not to bring it up and that then becomes our challenge as a speaker. Sure, sure, that's great. And it's a kind of, it's a kind of politeness that we have to adopt as a defense mechanism, and maybe even is enforced, becomes the legal form of politeness.

Is that what all laws are? Just a kind of legal politeness? Just things that you're not... I guess in a way to murder is rude. To steal, to steal is rude. Road. Road. To park somewhere for too long is rude. Road.

I think that's what it is. It's just a formal, formal root, root-ness. Formal, right? It's inconvenient. Well, because it's inconvenient for other people for your benefit. Indeed. It's when you're rude, or you make things

that are inconvenient for others, for your benefit. Your rude, I think that's kind of, yeah. It's a conflict or a resolution. What do you think of this as a sketch idea, Alistair? All right. Exercise unicycle. What do you think of that?

So you just have one in your house? Just have one in your house. You just ride it inside. Yeah. Or maybe it's a type of speed and class that it's all done on unicycles and you all have to wear a top hat or some kind of fucking fucking like a sweat absorbing top hat.

Yeah, it's made for really high tech fabric. Breatheable, a breathable top hat. Yeah, yeah, there's a special kind of tweed vest, but it's a Lycra tweed blend if the most high performance tweed checkered tweed vest that exists. I just think, you know, we've got the exercise bike, and we've got the exercise rowing machine,

but there are so many other forms of transport that we are yet to turn into a form of exercise. We've got the tread here. We've got the step thing. Which is walking exercise. It's basically it's an exercise footpath. You've got the cross trainer. What about one for climbing? What about one? It'd be good if they could, if they could build

the treadmill right into the shoe. That would be good. That must be a thing somewhere, right? That treadmill shoe. Because you're recreating the road You basically have basically have under your feet Like a I guess a little track like a little like bulldozer track type thing caterpillar track Yeah, that as you Bet but but running in the opposite direction Yeah, I think so keep you standing still you, but running in the opposite direction.

Yeah, thanks though. To keep you standing still. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, great. I think it would lead to some injuries at first, but once you got the knack, you know, once you got that knack, I guess it could probably read with some computer vision, it could probably read the speed at which your feet are moving. And so, and so adjust how fast

it should be going based off of that. Yeah, no, definitely, you would have to, yeah, to keep you in the same place. Yes, it does. Yeah. Probably be quite heavy, the boots, you know. I think it would be a heavy boot. Well, we'd make it as light as possible, obviously. Yeah, we don't have to. I suppose we could make it really heavy.

This is my thing always with exercise. Why would you ever do anything to make it easier? Why would you ever buy special running shoes and put on lighter? It's supposed to be hard, don't? Yeah. The whole point is that you're burning energy. I know. That's the thing with cyclists and stuff like that. Like, I get that you're like, there's one aspect in which there's a competition and you want to wear Lycra for that. But if you're just doing it for Exas, but why, yeah, for exercise,

why wear Speedos if you're swimming? Why not wear like Cargo pants? What did that? The whole point is that you're there to work out. You know, you make the, make swimming difficult enough, we could make pools really short, you know, just three or four meters at the Olympics, right? In the future when space is so is it such a premium, it'll be an unimaginable luxury to have a 50 meter swimming pool and you know we'll need that space for hospitals and and and and

apartment buildings and so you know probably the maximum length they'll be able to be will be about four meters and then we'll just need to work out the ways in which we make it more difficult for the swimmers so that they still take approximately the same time to cover that form. These are the most elite athletes in the world. Still take several minutes. Well you could make the pools shorter by making the liquid more viscous. You're absolutely good. Although I think I've seen something

about this, which is that as well as making it harder to move forward, they also give you more to push on. So viscous liquids in some ways are easier to swim through. Is that true? Well, whatever it is, maybe if you've got to make it oil, or if you've got to make, something that falls into a gas. Acidic. Poison, you know.

I don't know, is that what is a very thin liquid? I guess a oil is something like that, right? Because it's, or is that- That's a really, really good question. What's the least viscous liquid? The fittest, lightest liquid. Yeah. I mean, yeah, I suppose oil does float on water,

but in some ways it feels more viscous, right? Like it gets, you can be quite thick, even though it's light. Yeah, well, it says here that the ethyl alcohol is the least viscous fluid. Mm, there you go. You can a acquire a large amount of quantity to swim in and be not die from dipping your body into. Right, so they'll be swimming through pure alcohol.

Yeah. Yeah. I think that would bring its own challenges and I think that's really promising. But it will also allow, you know, put a limit on how long people can stay in there, which is also what we kind of want with this high turnover kind of short pool that we're creating. Again, we're not sure whether making a low viscosity pool is going to make things

different, more difficult, or what? I guess, is it easier to drown in? I think that is the case. I think that you would not float very possibly in that liquid. Which allows us to make it more shallow so that people can stand up so that they don't die. Right. But if you do die, your body will be pretty well preserved. And I guess it you do die, your body will be pretty well preserved. And, um, you know, and I guess, you know, it'll be more, I don't know, just be neater for, uh, getting the body back to your parents. It'll be very neat.

Yeah, assuming you your parents don't live you. Um, assuming, assuming you're on good terms with your parents, and they would be interested to see your preserved body after you die. Oh, well, I guess I'm interested. Yeah, okay. He said that a lot. Well, let me see his body then.

I don't believe you. This is some rules that he's come up with to trick me and I want to double check that this person who I thought I trusted. An exercise skateboard. An exercise. Or a scooter. Yes indeed. An exercise car. So what about exercise boxing gloves? Okay, so how does that work? Yeah, that's what I find, that's what I'm finding myself thinking of. myself thinking of. Let's look at let's let's just say for the for the fuck of it that they have they have sort of rocket jet and you know powered rocket powered propulsion jets in the front of them. That's right. So that we're towards you. Yeah. So that it feels like you're making impact or at least punching into a very thick fog. Yeah. Resistance boxing gloves.

Hmm. Sure. I think there should be a gas, you know, a room that has really, really dense gas in it that makes it harder to punch and harder to move through. That would be quite good. But, you know, we're back. Yeah, I mean, I guess it's a surgery. Yeah, I suppose if you had a very heavy, heavy gas that you could maybe, you could box

with a snorkel on so that your snorkel goes up above the gas You can breathe regular air Yeah, so I think having oxygen tanks and shit like that will be just to cumbersome just wear a snorkel in a mask Fucking hell this is getting annoying and cumbersome cumbersome this wasn't ever supposed to be Difficult and complicated when we just started to fill the room with dead's gas. Yes.

What about my exercise car idea, Alistair? Didn't seem like you were very interested. I didn't hear that. An exercise car. Yeah. It's a little sort of stripped down little car thing that you have. Yeah. And it's a quarter of a row.

Yeah. There's two pedals. You know, you've got to turn the key in the door to get in. And you've got to turn the key again, obviously, in the ignition. You've got a wheel to turn, pedals to push up and down, little indicator lights to flick. You know, there's probably a lot of incidental exercise to be had in people don't talk about it enough.

We might be able to refine it. Leaning over instead of trying to get the get the Bluetooth working. Exactly. Take your eyes off the road. Panicking. Whipping your head back up again. Yeah. Looking down at your phone, looking back up as you try to pick a podcast. Find a topic that interests you. Exactly. Skipping through the ads. Yeah, trying to use the sort of the plus 15 second button. It's a good button. It's a good one.

I think it's hard when you're not looking at the phone. When you think that you can, you get a, you know, the gist of the idea of where the buttons should be without looking at the screen, you're like, yeah. Well, you drive it and you're like, I know, the gist of the idea of where the buttons should be without looking at the screen. Yeah. Well, you drive it and you're like, I mean, I've typed, I've typed out a message before and just been like, I don't need to look. This is, I mean, this is exactly what I do as well, Alistair. And it's so bad. It's the worst thing to do in the world. And unnecessary. It is completely unilives at risk.

Our lives and other people's lives, our lives. Everybody's lives are at risk. Everybody's lives. When you come out of it, when you come out of it and you've completed it, and you realize how far away your attention was. And the shame hits you. Oh, the shame, the amount that you're risking for the so little reward.

Yeah, the tiny, tiny reward. Oh, it's yeah, I mean, I have on many occasions pulled over. And that's great. Yeah. But I mean, I guess the best that we can hope for is just to somehow, by chance, survive until self-driving cars become common. And because, you know, behaviour change is as we know impossible. And it's stupid to think that you can once you've got a habit like this toxic habit

You're stuck with it for life and you know may and less there's some sort of Some sort of methodone type thing that I can do to weed myself off Maybe they put a maybe I'll just get a method You get a little vial of methodone and you could press on it while you're driving. Taping on it. You thumb, tap. You know, if they painted maybe a little, a little key, like digital keyboard on it, maybe they could integrate a screen that actually works allows you to make phone calls and text.

Maybe. I mean, I suppose, you know, either we could, um, could do that, we could get self-driving cars, or we could just get additional eyes, a new set of eyes built into our heads, sort of pointing down into the left at a 45 degree angle. A second set of eyes. Second set of eyes, maybe in the chin. What about under the chin? Under the chin. That area that usually kind of folds up into unpleasantness,

you smooth it out, you smooth it out, get some eyes in there. Maybe just one eye. Just one eye. Just one big eye. One, two, three, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four looking at yeah. There's a really good idea I'll let's do either that or we sort of medicalize the lazy eye and we separate the vision processing of the two eyes and we just you know you can have one eye on the road and one eye looking at your phone. Would you think it would be more of a Chen eye? It's like just a Chen eye that kind of looks diagonally. I understand the chin eye, but I was thinking,

you know, if we just cut, I don't know, cut the muscles that help your eye to move around, right, and then just let it lol one of your eyes. No, but the other one flops, looking down. Yeah. And you could use a bigger fun. I get that. I just don't really want to compromise my regular eyes.

Do you understand that? Do you get that? No, I get that. I get that, Alistair, sure. But it just seems like you don't really want this. That you're putting all your faith in this almost impossible sort of Chi and I technology.

Whereas I'm offering you almost real solutions here. Well, you've heard this. Okay, I know, I know yours is definitely more doable right now at the moment, but you've heard of the cochlear implant, right? Yeah. The cochlear hearing aid, whatever. What about this? The cochlear eye. Cochlear eye.

I guess you just, it's not for people who are impaired, although maybe we are impaired, you know, maybe having what we think is full vision is a type of impairment, because at the moment it's stopping me from living the life that I wanna lead, which is one where I can look at my phone constantly while I drive and not feel bad. Yeah, except feel bad that I spend so much time in my life looking at my phone.

Yeah, well, I'll feel, I'll feel, I'll feel a different type of bad. I'll feel the kind of bad that I get when I'm looking at Twitter constantly. Yeah, but I think that I only feel that way because there's times when I'm not looking at my phone. And because I know that when I'm looking at my phone, I'm not looking at other things that I should be looking at, right? But if my other eyes are free to look at other things, this could actually be true happiness. Yeah. Look how I'm going to write this extra I...

On the chin. For. Maybe on chin. I wasn't going to specify because I didn't want to upset you. No, I said... No, the fact that it's on the chin doesn't upset me. The fact that you're not... You know, I feel like I would be a sort of a thought leader making putting myself on the line to do it.

I love that you contribute. I love that you try to contribute. Thanks, Al. That's it. I think it's actually really cute that I offer. Yeah. That you make offers. These little things that you keep

trying after all of these years. You know, it's so cute. It's really beautiful. It's So you don't feel bad for looking at phone. That's right. Do you know that when reading was first invented? Is this true? Is this true that when reading was first invented, it was very, very normal for people to move their lips when they read to themselves? Does that seem possible? From a human perspective, sexes seemed, sexes seemed a relatively simple thing to get one's head around. It makes sense when you're reading out loud, I guess.

What were you reading? This was about everything you wanted to know about sexes, about the origin of sexes. Sure. Now this is for our other podcast. Yeah, this is because we're doing research for the pop test. And returning in August. And episode returning in August. And we're doing an episode on reproduction.

But then I guess I realized that going into the origin of sexes might just be something we touch on rather than something that, sure. But it is kind of important, I think. It feels very important. Why did we go to this two slightly different creature systems? And I believe that there are some organisms, which have a vast number of biological sexes. And it would be very interesting to look into what it is.

A fungi or fungi, as the experts would say. Yeah. It's incredible for all the experts to be wrong about that. I know. It was unbelievable. Andy, I think I've come up with a line for the pop test just then. Oh yeah. So, why are there sexes?

And why is one of the, why? Why? Why? Hey, you sure about this alley? You sure about this. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Okay, wait. It's not very good.

I don't think it's great, but I think where did sexes come from? And why does one of them always be shopping? I don't know. That's really dumb. Yeah, well I mean it's interesting to look at those species that do have seven different genders and try to categorize them in terms of which subsets of those genders be shopping. I mean it would be great to actually because, because there's lots of like studies that show,

you know, there's homosexuality and nature and that there's, you know, lots of stuff like that, right? But I don't know how many studies look at the role of gender or sex in nature, and whether or not, and the frequency in which they be shopping. And of course you would have to define shopping in a different you know in a more nature type way. I don't have to do anything, Alistair. I should tell you what to do. This is my study. Okay. I'm too. OK? I'm going to set the parameters. It's literal shopping.

It's? It's interesting. It's interesting. I mean, we do know that Seagulls sometimes walk into it like a 7-11 and just take a bag of chips. Yeah. Which gender tends to do that the most, which sex? Well, but that's interesting to me because that is shopping, which I think is fundamentally

different to shopping. Well, that's, I think shopping, lifting, brawder, shopping is a broader thing that encompasses things like, you know, buying bread bread and you know, necessities. But I think shopping in the sense that some of the sexes be it, I think is a different thing that's more limited to the subset of luxury items. Sure, yeah. Yeah, that makes sense. Yeah, yeah. Would you would you consider say, and I know

I know that this actually probably doesn't fit your your definition of shopping, but the the the Bauer bird. With with all the blue stuff that it can collect for to to sort of decorate its place. Would you consider the male Bauer bird in this case to be the one who'd be shopping more? Yeah, I mean, he's definitely decorating. That's true, yeah. But whether or not, I guess he is shopping. Yeah, no, I would say that is a very good example

of shopping in nature. Yeah, great. Because it's not about that I wouldn't consider those to be necessities. But yeah. Be interesting to live with a bowel bird. And try, I'm just picturing, picturing sending your bowel or bird husband, I guess, off to the supermarket with a list of really specific things that you need, like quite important

stuff for the household. Sure, WD40. Later on. Well, you picked something that's in a blue can. That's what he comes back with. It's not even, doesn't even have any WD40 in it. But it's, it's, it's, it's, but then he comes back on the side of the road quite sheepishly with the bag. Not really wanting to let you see what's in the bag. And you then do have to go through the things. And in quite a disappointed tone of voice,

point out that once again, you sent your bowel, but husband out to get bread and musely bars for the kids, lunchboxes. And everything is blue. It's just blue things. It's just kids. And then this is like the wife or whatever. Yeah.

And then while she's talking, he's picking things up and sort of putting them on top of shelves and like, sparing them around the room. And then she goes, you did it again. I'm really disappointed. And then she goes, you did it again. I'm really disappointed. And then he goes, wanna have sex? Yeah.

And then she looks at the particular arrangement of blue object in the room. And she's like, you know what I do? Yes. Because you know how to get me. And they have like seven kids. It's not going to work this time, Eric. I know I really, I really, I really agree.

I really disappointed at angry. He does start swooning a little bit around the house while he's doing it. I know, I know why he's putting things around and then he's like... So, okay. This is not... I don't think it's then, it's not a physical baller bird. This guy doesn't have the form of a baller bird, but it's clearly a man who has the mind of a ballerbert.

Yeah. And all the same behavioral instincts. And it turns out that it does have the effect on his wife. This is, I guess this is a world in which maybe humans evolved from power birds, that our courtship still has some, you know, in the way that there are like very animal parts of our sexuality as humans, you know, that are quite basic needs and urges and instincts. But a big subset of those, the things that get us turned on have been replaced with primitive, bower bird instincts.

Sure. I mean, it could just be cultural. It could just be cultural, you know. Could be. Could be. Because I mean, we have the ability to kind of just see something in mimic it rather than, you know, it have to be deeply ingrained. But I mean, it could be, it could be, you know, a situation which humans evolved from the bird. Yeah.

I'm definitely open to that, Andy. I've just written down Bowered Bird Husband and for me that's you know we can work out the the details of it once we're Once we're in there on the die once we're in there once the cameras are rolling Which is actually probably close to how we actually recorded Australia get it up. It is exactly how we did Australia get it up. We'll fly to South Australia. We know that we want to go to a Salt Lake.

Yeah, we know. It's four hours to the Salt Lake. We know it's a four hour drive to the Salt Lake. Now, once we're about an hour and a half from the Salt Lake, let's start talking about what we're gonna do there. This is salt- I think it should be a guy. I think it should be a guy who is trying to get

land speed records in some way. Yeah, now, what resources do we have, or could we pick up from a shop between here and the salt like that would allow it to film that and then we did stop at a market and we're like, oh, there's a wig. Yeah, we went to a Kmart and got some weird weird shorts weird shorts. Yeah, too pairs. That's a costume two pairs. That's a costume. They can be they can be brother and sister. Perfect. That's for the display. That's why they've got matching shorts. Ah, yes. She can be pregnant. We'll shove something up her. We'll do something in there. Yeah. Up her jumper. Um, I can be a third pair of shorts. Still probably one of the better sketches, if not the best sketch from Australia, get it up here. So, you know.

Look, I mean, I think it's dangerous to overwrite things. Yeah. That's what we learned. That's what we learned. And then we almost lost the keys to the fan. Oh, on the salt flat. While we were losing light. That's exactly right. Oh my God. I still regret that the ending of that sketch. We said that we had the guy in text after the end of the sketch. He killed himself. I see. I actually reflected on that in the last couple of days and I actually was like, no, I think

that was right. No, but I don't regret that he killed himself. I just wish that we'd added the fact that he was running at a, at a land speed record. He killed himself while running at a, oh yeah, really high speed. Oh, yeah, yeah, I think that would have been good. And so he did actually successfully break a record. Jesus, I wonder whether there's any way to edit this text on this. Look, it was now so long ago that I imagine whatever the format was that it was filmed in just isn't compatible with anything. It's doc. That YouTube.

That's not actually going to be retrievable. We filmed this in doc. Yeah, not even not even open office reads that now. I imagine that you know that eight minutes of conversation was extremely unpleasant for a large number of people who have no idea what we're talking about to listen. How can they find it and then they can know what we're talking about? They can find the Australia, get it up your Facebook page and from there they can follow the links to the hidden episodes on YouTube and watch it. Yeah, let's just be called land speed record or something like that.

Yeah, you know, it'll be there, it'll be there somewhere. Wait, I'm gonna get, I'm gonna get, I'm gonna get it all in clips and I'm gonna post some of it occasionally. Anyway, Alissa, how many sketch ideas have we got written down? So far, one, two, three, four, five, six, seven. Jesus Christ. Yeah. The bar is low today.

No, it's all good, it's all good. So good. So we got it. We got three words from a listener So today the three words from a listener Again was a scenario in which I wasn't sure that Whether or not that I didn't done them before but then this time I ran them by Andy. Hmm. I ran did them. Uh, ran and did them. Oh dear, I lost it. And they are. And so there's a chance Andy will know the words, but I even though Andy said he doesn't

remember us doing them, I think that there's a chance we've already done them. But they come from listener, Adrian Hernandez, Arista. Hello, Adrian. Adrian, thank you so much for this. And what a what a what a joy it is to hear your name. Now Andy, do you remember what the words are? Oh, you know what? It's come back to me now. I'm really sorry. I promised you that I'd forget them before the episode ended, but I have just remembered them.

Closeted, homomo sapien son? Yeah, that's right. He promised that he would forget them. So that's the only reason why I did it. Yeah, I'm sorry. But what this immediately brings to my mind is a short story that I read by Isaac Asimov about they build this kind of time machine that allows them to

go back to the time of Neanderthals and bring back a Neanderthal boy. But the way that the machine works is it requires a huge amount of energy to keep this kind of time bubble open and the boy can therefore only live in this very small area in the modern day, right? He can live in there. And in the end, this woman who's been looking after him, they decide that not enough people are coming to see the Neanderthal boy at the museum or whatever. So they decide to shut it down and send him back to the past. And as a result, the woman decides to go back with her boy, with the boy, into the past and live with him back then. Wow. Hmm.

And it's, you know, it's what happens. There's, as a mother figure. I've got to go to the front door and let the children into the house. So I'll leave you for a moment. No problem. Well, this idea that I suppose she goes back as a mother. I don't know what she would bring back with her. I guess they probably have enough flint there.

Maybe they don't have any flint. You know, maybe a knife. But a knife be useful. Upgrade your style for less during Indochino's Black Friday event. This limited time sale starts in store and online November 6th. Don't miss out on the best prices of the year. Book your appointment today at Indochino.com. That's INDO CHINNO.com. What a knife be useful in the in the past, do you think? I guess for cutting, you know, not for cutting rock,

but maybe for cutting animals. But then, you know, would she mess up the future, but she wouldn't get to see the future. So I guess, you know, it's like, well, would you make a mess if you know that you don't have to clean it up? I would. I definitely would. But this doesn't get us any closer

to closeted, homo sapiens sun. There's a... I'm back. Oh, I had a feeling. Is there a type of time travel that would work where we can only go back really, really far? Right? We can only go back super far to the point where anything we do, like because, you

know, there's always that option, that possibility in time travel where you say, oh, going back will change the present day. But then there's also the version where, well, actually, the world we're in today, as it is now, could only really it is because you went back and changed things in the past, right? And that sort of preserves the cause and effect thing. But it gets a bit messy if you go back to sort of recent history where we'd be like, well, but we kind of remember it and there'd be some pretty obvious evidence of the technology that you took with you or whatever.

But if you go back like, you know, billion years, two billion, maybe you could even, you'd have to go back to like when the earth was all like covered in lava or something like that. Oh, hang on, wait, I think I'm just describing basically the plot of Loki, that TV, that series on Disney. Forget it. Forget it. You know, but a sort of a time travel thing where you can do it, but only if you go back so far that it's not interesting. You don't really, you can do it, but you have to go back so far that you don't get anything out of the experience at all. You can go back to that time when the universe was cooling and no stars had formed and everything was just sort of a gas. You go back to then and it's fine.

I think there's always that risk that if you go back in time, you will appear where the planet isn't? Oh, absolutely. Yeah, that's probably one of the biggest risks, which makes the portal to portal style seem more plausible. Yeah, which means that you've got to, you can only go back as far as when you first created

the time machine. Indeed, yes. But you can only go back as far as when you first created the time machine. Indeed. Yes. That's the only thing that keeps it possible, possible, I feel. Because or else you go, well, if there was one, then why wasn't heaven? We've seen any time travel people. If somebody in fence one in the future, why hasn't it become a, you know? That's what I'm saying.

But then again, but then, you know, people would keep it secret potentially, because you don't wanna fuck things up. Exactly. Sorry, anyway, closet at home I'll save you in sun. This is, you know, you go back and you're living with the antidols and you have to hide the fact that you're a different

species. That's what the first homo sapien would have been. I mean, I realized it wouldn't have been, it wouldn't have come directly from the antithols or neutrals, but either homo erectus or homo habilis or whatever it is. Maybe homo erectus, is that what we came from? Sure, yeah, yeah, yeah. Sounds good, right? So there would have been a scenario in which both parents were homo erectus and then there would have been a homo sapien child. Yeah, and they presumably, you know, are trying to hide their homo sapien tendencies, which I guess would be

having a slightly different skull shape That's right. So they wear caps or they wear it. Yeah, the Poli and hats Yeah, and You know, you know, maybe that's where like turbans and stuff came from maybe using tools Yeah art turbines and stuff came from. Maybe using tools. Yeah, art. I mean, yeah, that fits quite well with the analogy. The desire to wipe out whole civilizations of other human species. Yeah, I think that how long do you think they would have suppressed that? I guess until there was a much more majority population of

but you know, maybe when they reveal who they truly are to their homo erectus parents, they've actually got really, really accepting homo erectus parents who are so accepting. In fact, they're saying, look, just to show you how on board we are, how supportive we are of this, we'd like you to wipe us out first. That's so nice. Isn't that nice? That is nice.

And probably in a scenario where maybe homeorectus are going, getting wiped out for some reason, you know, eating your parents probably would be very beneficial for your survival. Exactly. And it would be make for a very heartwarming coming out video You know when the the sort of the stoop backed Home overrector's father who you expect isn't gonna be cool with it or a rector's father who you expect isn't going to be cool with it. He starts tying himself to his own sort of roasting stick. He helps build the fire on which he's going to get crackled. And you know what's great about this?

It's not cannibalism. This was the only point in history where somebody had the opportunity to eat their own parents without it being weird. Yeah, that's true. And species. Finally, completely morally okay. Yep. So, little loophole there would have been almost ashamed if they didn't do it.

Yeah, I guess especially if they'd, let's say they'd already had a family, this kid and with some other homo erectus daughter of somebody else, and their kids would have been sort of more homo erectus-y. I think it's a pretty, there's no clear lines in this, right? Because I don't think, you know,

the homo sapien born would have been born to super, like the most homoorectasy parents. They probably would have already been a bit on the way. That's true. It's not necessarily going to be one mutation. Yeah, it's going to be something that the court is going to have to unpick, I think, drawing that line. And I'm not sure if it would work as a defense today if you did eat somebody and then tried to argue that your various mutations in your genome meant that the Lord doesn't apply to you because you're not technically a human. Can somebody be born and then be

like a scientist go you're actually a new species? It must happen. It must happen. Yeah. Yeah. Like it must happen within species that new ones are born who are no longer of that species. Otherwise, how do you get a new species? And especially now that we got billions of people on earth, there must just be people who are being born who are new species and There must be biologists who can go actually you're better. You're better. I mean there must be one where they can go you're worse Yeah, but but you're different You're different that's good at something

Yeah, look do you think that this is where we should wrap things up? I think so. We really grabbed it. Yeah. I mean, we basically, we just did closeted Homo sapiens sun as is. You know, we didn't even change it. Well, I think we made him a cannibal and that's our own special flair. That's right.

A cannibal tweeting his own parents. And, you know, I think looking at it as a legal defense that may have some relevance in the modern day. Sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And we're all about those bottom draw legal defenses, Alistair. That's a bottom jaw. Bottom jaw would actually be how he would define his own, he could use that as a way of as evidence for his being a different species. That's right.

You know bottom drawer legal defense is something I've only heard of yesterday and then today is the second time I've heard it. But it's something that we've talked about, you know, we've talked about those desperate last, you know, defences a lot on this show. So, yes, now we now we know what it's called. Absolutely. Yeah. Andy, I'm going to take us through the sketch ideas for today. We have aliens that stink and we have to not mention it. Right.

They don't have a sense of smell. And so we don't want to offend them and they're introducing us, you know, they're our kind of our gateway to the galactic community. Even though they're not the most popular ones, you know, they probably are the nerds or the stinky kid of the galactic community, but that Gets us into the galactic community no less. That's what we need. There probably is a galactic community and we actually need to make contact with one

Because if there is one, right? We need an in. We need you need to be invited. You can to be invited. Yeah, we need like so they're probably different species that are around and they're keeping an eye. They go look you guys check out this sector. Y'all check out that sector over there. And if anybody good, bring them in. We got to be cool. Be cool. They want to act normal. All right. Take a bite from my sandwich. I don't know. You're in a cycle. You know, you look at most exercise bikes and they put two wheels on there.

Yeah. But I love to think about how different it would be. Would you still have that balance thing you would have to do? I think that's a big part of it. Yeah, I think you still got to look like a real fuckhead. So yeah, yeah, there's definitely no handle bars and use it. Yeah, no, no, no, no, it was any good about it because the regular sort of flailing out to the sides.

Yeah, because the exercise bike takes away the having to balance up. Exactly. But, but this one shouldn't remove. I guess it still removes the balancing up, but it doesn't remove the balancing forward and back. Yes. Then we've got a workout gear shouldn't make things easier, but harder. And so this is like a company that is releasing the line of workout gear that actually make things, you know, makes you use more energy. These are heavy shoes.

Yeah. These are, you know, these are shoes that have, you know, pediatrician, what's the foot one? P-d-d-d-trition, what's the foot one? Um, uh, uh, uh, or... Padiatrist. Yeah. Padiatrist recommended sort of, uh, concrete inserts in your shoes. This is a hat. Cargo.

It's got a big sail on it. Yeah. Cargo, cargo swimming cargo pants and hoodie. Hmm. Cargo pants with all the pockets of wide open? Yeah, absolutely. Then we got low viscosity pools for space management. This is once we get into, you know, overpopulated territory and, you know, big cities. Don't have as much space for 50 meter pools, but you could have a 20 meter pool

with either, it was probably a lower viscosity liquid like a. I mean, I could be wrong about it being low of a viscosity. It, you know, I, I, we don't know, we don't know, but right now we're just gonna take a guess in. We're gonna take a guess. Yeah. Probably harder. I think if you got to do more work to,

because I guess to swim in air would be would take so much energy. That's true. So to keep yourself afloat and swimming in water would be a sort of a lesser extreme version of that but more difficult. But then to move through solid rock is extremely difficult as well. Yes, extremely. So to move through molasses might also be difficult, especially I guess if you add stickiness

to it, not just viscosity, but stickiness, that would add drag. What is stickiness, if not just drag? Um, yeah, it's good point. It's good point. You know, or, or a wolf pulling on your leg. Okay, now you got my attention. What is stickiness, if not a wolf pulling on your leg? Well, I was talking about drag, but I know. I know. You did it. Extra eye on, extra eyes on chin, just for

the phone. So you don't feel bad for looking at your phone when you take your eyes off your phone. You know, because that's the problem. I mean, that's, you know, that's, that's, that's, that was one of the details I added. I know that's not really the whole point of the thing. It's more for driving. But, but the idea is that there is a possibility that the reason that you feel bad, you get an opportunity to feel bad

for looking too much at your phone is because there's a moment there where you're not looking at your phone. Yeah, hold on. You get the opportunity to. it's a very good theory. I will say that sometimes I do feel bad while I am looking at my phone. I know, but that's because you're looking internally, which is taking a moment away from your phone.

You're right. You're right. My attention was on myself. I was being too self-centered if I... Yeah. Yeah. Then we got study of animals, study of the animal world, and studying which sexes are more likely to be shopping. Then we have Bauerbird husband, which is the husband who was sent out to go to grocery shopping, but then came back with

just things that were blue. And then we've got the first homo sapien sun coming out to their homo erectus parents. It's really great now. What a what a little collection. Yeah, one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight. That's eight in an hour. That's so doing the math on that. Don't don't don't do the math on that out. I don the maths on that. Don't do the maths. I don't want to know. We can't. So then we got... B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B- Thank you so much for listening to Two in the Think Tank. We like that you do that thing to this.

And we can be found on the internet. I'm at Stupid Old Andy. I'm at Alistair TV. I'm at A. Tromblay Virtual on Instagram. We're at Two in Tank on both Twitter and Instagram. You can support us on Patreon if you'd like. Thank you to everybody who does so much Thank you to anyone who's ever watched magma or came to see teleport or you know Thank you to anyone who's listened to the pop test. We have

Now done a lot of stuff. Anyway, thank you very much. I hope your lives continue to be good or get better if they haven't been good Goodbye to you and good night. And we love love you. You. Are you working way too hard for way too little? There's never been a better time to consider a career in IT. You could enjoy a recession-resistant career in a rewarding field with plenty of growth opportunities and often flexible work environments. Go to mycomputercareer.edu and take the free career evaluation. You could start your new career in months, not years. Take classes online or on campus, and financial aid is available to qualified students, including the GI Bill.

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