Simple Swedish Podcast - 313 - "DREW MARRYBORE?"

Episode Date: December 8, 2021

Baby Seat Grief Test, Crash Test Smarties, Only Haters, Frothing Drugs, Carnieval, Sdam Aandler, Microwave HandYou can support the pod by chipping in to our patreon here (thank you!)Listen and subscribe to THE POP TEST on Radio National or as a PodcastJoin the other TITTT scholars on the TITTT discord server hereGet Magma here: https://sospresents.com/programs/magmaHey, why not listen to Al's meditation/comedy podcast ShusherDon't forget TITTT Merch is now available on Red Bubble. Head over here and grab yourselves some material objectsYou can find us on twitter at @twointankAndy Matthews: @stupidoldandyAlasdair Tremblay-Birchall: @alasdairtb and instaAnd you can find us on the Facebook right hereSpacious thanks to George for producing this episode. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hi, I am Kendra Adachi and I host the Lazy Genius Podcast. A Lazy Genius principle is to decide once. And I have done that by deciding that Olive and June is my go-to brand for ad home mayonnaise. I don't like to waste time and the Olive and June Manny system has everything you need and nothing you don't, all with gorgeous polishes that don't ship. Visit Olive and June.com slash perfect Manny 20 for 20% off your first Olive and June system. That's olive and June.com slash perfect Manny 20 for 20% off your first Olive and June system. Duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh You might know us from Dabs podcast where two dads try to get apps This is an idea that I am semi-seriously suggesting to Alistair that we

Become become guys trying to get apps before they turn 40 and also Trying to interview Brad Pitt Brad Brad We're gonna try and get Brad on the show Brad's abs Try and get Brad on the show and try and get him to rub the microphone against his belly, his abdomen area. And so we can actually have Brad's abs, Brad's on the show. Oh, so we want the abs on the audio program. So not necessarily Brad, do we want him to talk or do we just want him to rub the mic on his apps? I mean, I think in a way, it would be a more truthful

and greater artistic statement, which is also what we're going for with this, to have him rub his apps on the microphone. And that's all, that's the only component. Okay. That's cool. And then I guess if ever Brad Pitt did send us in the sound, we would have to do a lot of a fairly in depth,

sort of forensic studies of the sound ensure that it really is that, and he's not just sort of from the bike on the couch, sure. So we believe that it is Brad. We believe that it is Brad. But what we're questioning is what he's rubbing the microphone against. That's what we have, our doubts about.

Yeah. Okay. Well, I mean, I mean, I think you will know if it's from Brad. We'll know. Yeah, great. Imagine it's the real Brad but fake abs. I mean, you know, this is hollywood, is that they all got body doubles, it's all stunts,

you know, it's all illusions. Sure. Brad Pitt is an illusionist anyway. So this is the episode where we come up with five sketch ideas and we're gonna be doing a little bit of that tonight. Before the episode where we come up with five sketch ideas and we're gonna be Doing a little bit of that tonight before the episode Alistair you were talking about The peculiar mental arithmetic of buying a new Baby seat for your car and looking at the safety ratings of them and comparing that against their relative prices and

Working out. Well, so the the safe and sound platinum pro is a got a protection score 4.2 when it's forward facing out of five But it is 700 bucks and then there's this one here, which is 3.8 protection score. It's the in infest secure Quattro Astra And but it is only about 300 bucks but it is only about $300. Oh, $400, but still, it's down from 650. So this is my picture of Sketch ID, Alistair. And it's one of your classic sketches. It's a website. And you can go to this website.

And sort of like you would work out, I guess, like what your total repayments would be on a mortgage, you know, over the lifetime of the mortgage. What this thing does is you basically have to tell it, you plug in the safety rating of a baby seat and the cost of the baby seat. And it basically tells you how many hours you would have to drive with your baby in the car before the risk of your baby dying horribly and it accident outweighs the saving that you would make. And I'm, you know, on buying a cheaper thing. Like, you know, maybe you can make them go head to head.

Well, maybe it's more like something for comparing super fun, super fun, superannuation funds. Well, I mean, there could also just be, it's just an ad for car seats. And as the guy goes down the ratings, you know, he's like, yeah, you can get this ultra pro model, right? It's a five star rating, well, like that, you know, but for those, you know, who are a bit more budget conscious,

you can get this one. If you think that maybe your baby could withstand a car crash. Yeah. You know, like I guess as you get to the bottom, essentially you're saying, now your baby is going to fly out of this seat. Mm. So if you will think that you're a particularly good driver and your baby can with, you know,

could withstand maybe one head trauma. I think what would be great, because very often in those crash test scenarios, we see the crash test dummies driving the car. We see the crash test dummies crashing the car. But we don't see the baby driving. A crash test dummy father and a crash test dummy mother, then having an argument about how the crash test dummy father cut costs and got a cheaper babysit. And I think for us to be informed consumers,

it's not enough for us just to see how they behave in an accident. It's that we need to be able to see how easy it is to justify your choices afterwards if something does go wrong. And for different, that might be different for different models. So I'd like to see, I guess this is going to be really grim, probably

the grimest thing we've ever said, but I'd like to see grieving test dummies, where those who survive in the form of test dummies sit around at dinner table or go to a memorial service for a dead crash test baby. And I'm saying this, these words are coming out of my mouth. And then, you know, we see how they deal with that grief. And I'm not sure if they're possible to get some sort of emotional impact sensor, they could be strapped to their Modula Oblongara. I don't know what that is, but it feels stupid to not test these things on the dummy. So yeah, there should be at least one of those stress ball brains in there and see how it affects that emotionally. Because I think if it affects the stress ball brain really badly emotionally, you probably

can assume from that it's going to affect a real functioning brain. Imagine what would that be like on a real bad brain. Yeah. We don't know. As I say, we don't know. We don't have enough data to see whether or not a little loss of a child actually does it in people. You would assume that, you know, even if one of these car seats has a set of a one rating,

there must be a minimum standard in which everything is still pretty good. Yeah, sure. I mean, they can't just have like, they can't be like, oh, here's a couple of rubber bands and a band-dented, just tie your head's head back and strap it to the back of the headrest. Yeah, an ocky strap. An ocky strap that goes around the forehead, clippin' together at the back of the seat.

You know what, this is actually sounding pretty safe. Yeah, well, I know that does actually seem like if it was around the head like that. The head still has a little bit of forward movement ability. Yeah, yeah. But there I mean there's that problem where it goes forward and then gets slammed back. I mean in my mind what would probably be the safest would be a kind of like I guess like an alien goo or you know in men black black when they go into the morgue and that guy's been stuck to the roof with goo and it's dripping down. You know that scene. I mean I guess another

way to describe it would be like one of those glue-based men in black. One of those goo-based rat traps. Right. I think the safest thing for your kid in an accident would be to smear the seat with that kind of rat glue and press the child into it. And then they're not going anywhere. They're adhered all the way up there back. Well, I mean, if you just put them in a tub, if the whole seat was just a tub, Yes. But their head would have to be out of it.

Well, maybe just the nostrils, all the top of the head. Yeah, but, well, I mean, if you put their mouth in the negus, they wouldn't complain while you drive, but, but I think, yeah, I don't think you want your kid to drown in goo. I think that's an equally bad thing. Sure, sure. I agree. Unless there's like a tub of goo that they can fall into as there's impact,

but I think even that, then suddenly their head is immersed in goo. So as you're recovering from the car crash and assuming that you do, yeah. Like, I mean, in the moments after it, like mentally getting your bearings again, you have to then remember to go get your kid out of the goo so that it doesn't drown in there. I know we talk about non-Newtonian fluids a lot on this, but really the seat belt is sort of the belt version of a non-utonian fluid. We're like, you can move it, you can pull it out if you pull it slowly. But are you trying

yank it? It goes, grabs on. So interesting. Now I know of bio-memory where we're engineering tries to replicate things, solutions to problems that they find in nature. But have you ever seen something? I'm not sure exactly what this is. Is this like geo mimicry? Is this sort of chemo mimicry here? Well, I think it would make sense to have your kid in a big tub of yogurt of custard

that you would travel with your kid in a big tub of custard. And then when you crash, that custard solidifies around the kid, locking them in place. Leaving just their head free. Just their head free. To slam. To flop wildly. But I think that would be fine. I think that would be okay. Yeah. And I think what we need is one of those one of those containers that they put, you know, action figures

in. It's just molded to your body. And your, their arms and everything like that are all in there, including the head, but it's kind of porous, like a noodle strainer. Yeah, a colander. A colander. Yeah. I mean, you just really wanted to keep your kids safe. Yeah. You would probably put them in some kind of like

colander tomb. Full body colander. Yeah. I like my custard idea. Yeah, no, I like it too. I still think it just has that drowning or and the neck is not supported in any way. Sure, but that's the case at the moment with seat belts,

you know? Yeah, right. I guess though, yeah, you're right, in this case, it might even stop them quicker. No, I think this could be the safest thing. No, but you don't have any side stuff. You don't have any side protection. Yeah, but similarly, you know, if you get whipped sideways, oh, you mean on either side of the head

because of those little things that come out in the... Yeah. Yeah. Okay. I don't know. Maybe we could have some things that's quickly released custard. That's quick. Some custard, some custard junes. Yeah. Exactly. Well, something to think about. It is. These are, these are definitely, you know, some great ideas for baby seats. Hmm. Great sketch out here. But we'll, we'll, we'll just keep grieving, grieving crash test dummies. Yeah, I've written grief tests, but I've kind of all put it in the one place, maybe show you ratings. Now, what about this?

Lower ratings, grief test. You're gonna love this. Crash test Smarties, right? Crash test Smarties. And what these are? Little chocolate. Little chocolate. Little chocolate. Covered in a sugar. Sugar, you see how they withstand running into a 18-wheeler at

country kilometers an hour. So a crash test, smarty, I believe would probably be a dummy who maybe doesn't get in the accident in the first place. But it's a dummy that we've made that is smarter than a person. I think so, yeah, I guess so. So maybe they, you know, so they say here is, we've done it with a crash test dummy, and this is a crack, you know, they were headed to the prom, driving their children to the prom

and they got into a collision at 60 miles per hour and blah, blah, blah. And then these are, and when we did the same test with crash test smarties, now these kids actually, they never actually had children. They didn't have children. And they're actually a lot of people.

Because they're curious. Good life, yeah. And they, so instead, they are currently at home, finishing off their PhDs. Yeah. I don't know, making a video for their only fans. Mm-hmm. You know, they're getting sort of, you know, roughly two and a half grand a week, just on the only fans. Wow.

That is smart. That is the smartest thing you could do. It was the finishing of PhD. No, uh. So they're already investing in research for the future. They have a plan, a sort of a trajectory marked out there. They're already ticking off milestones. They're not gonna be doing only fans forever.

They might be, because I think as long as people wanna watch. Now, what about this, right? Only haters, okay? And it's a website where you put up videos of yourself experiencing the opposite of pleasure and having a generally bad time and people who dislike you intensely can pay a monthly fee to get exclusive access to videos of you being upset, eating bad food that you don't enjoy the taste of, that kind of thing. I think you know the hate ecosystem is rich on the internet and it's a shame to not try to

monetize that in some way. The people who are the victims of the hate in a free market economy should have access to a platform that allows them to get money from the work that they do. They control the means of production. In this case, it's the production of sort of stress and anger hormones in the brains of those that dislike them. I worry that people would, you know, might ...pire at that content, not pay. Pire at my content, not pay. I think I think that we can trust, there's one group of people. They start a Facebook group and they just share it with each other. We have one account. Oh, I mean, you're very cynical.

You're very cynical, Alistair. I think that's a shame that we're at that point. Well, maybe we have some very powerful type of digital rights protection on this. Well, that's a good idea. We could get Metallica involved to maybe start with some of our biggest supporters. They gave us angel funding at the beginning. Angel investors. Ironically. Angel. Supporters they would they would they gave us some angel angel funding angel angel angel investors ironically Yeah, I mean if anyone was gonna be a demon investor her devil investor

Yeah, a demon in the sack investor That thing is that an expression people refer to a demon in the sack. I think so Demon in the sack is that not an expression? I've never heard it, but... Well, I feel like you heard. What about this, a crusty demon in the sack? Is that anything? Like, when those guys who ride the motor cross. Yeah.

What is a demon and the sack? This is from slangdefine.org. Very good and bad, basically, an excellent shag. I took this fit bird home last night. She was a demon in the sack. I guess I, I guess I, I just, I can't comprehend it, you're meaning immediately. So yeah, I can go to another website and see if there's any, there's mobile dictionary dot dot reverso, dot net, a demon in the sack, a reverso dictionary.

Well, a demon is an evil spirit or devil, or a person, habit, obsession, thought of as a devil, cruel or persistently tormenting. Sack, sack is a slang term for the male scrotum. Whoa! Okay, let's get it done. Well, I think that one didn't have demon in the sack together. Right.

They just defined demon and then sack. Yeah, we lost the sense that meaning is sort of greater than the sum of its parts very often. Yeah. I demon go through the second one. A demon in the sack. Wow. Yeah, a demon had to have a demon in your sack. Is this a product that we could sell, right?

Yes, as well. Yeah. It's a kind of an additive, I guess, or something that you would drink or You add to one so it takes out the neutralizes the preservatives No, no that wasn't it, but you could add it to one possibly or you could get it injected directly into your scrotum And all it does basically is it carbonates your ejaculate So it comes out sort of fizzy Yeah, like sparkling water faster. I think it would add have added of fizzy. Yeah. Like sparkling water. And did he make it go faster?

Yeah. I think it would have added pressure to it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Do you think your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, Would that mean the year? What effects would that have on the scrotive? On the scrotive? Would it just be really inflated? Like it says at maxily. Torch, really.

Torch. Yeah, I don't know. I mean, I guess I haven't thought this through, and I retract. But I mean, I think if you were to decide on not having kids anymore, you could get at least one testicle replaced with a sort of a metallic canister.

Mm, yes, yes you could. And it wouldn't be that hard to put a little zip into the side of the... A little, sort of a little bang. Yeah, exactly, just like that, but maybe even more bulbous, like an assist sort of a slightly rounder. For those who are outside of his choy and don't know

what a nang is, it's just a, what is it, nitrous oxide? Nitrous oxide canister that you would use in like a cream, one of those cream dispenses, is that right? Yeah, I don't know why they use them in cream dispensary. I don't know why you need nitrous oxide. Nitrous oxide. Nitrous oxide. To froth cream.

Feels like. But you know what Andy, since they shifted to that, they've been selling way more units. So I guess it must do a great job of frothing cream. Do you think that that's actually, do you think that they could use another compressed gas? but they realize when they move to nitrous oxide, they just started selling a lot more? Yeah, I reckon there's a few other things that they could use in those canisters as well

that might help increase sales, you know? Methane fedamine. It turns out that the one thing that really froths cream is about 50 grams of meth Of compressed aerosol aerosol Well, I don't know what to tell you Oh, is that's what froth's cream knows what froth's cream We're here near your company. It seems to be people are using this as a What's the truth? What's the truth? What's the truth? What's the truth? What's the truth?

What's the truth? What's the truth? What's the truth? What's the truth? What's the truth? What's the truth? What's the truth? What's the truth?

What's the truth? What's the truth? What's the truth? What's the truth? What's the truth? What's the truth? What's the truth? What's the truth?

What's the truth? What's the truth? What's the truth? What's the truth? What's the truth? What's the truth? What's the truth? What's the truth? cream frothing. And if you're seriously saying that you want the world to not have access to those little cream frothed things, frothed cream in a can, I mean, that's your call, but that's going to be on your head. And our fans are really passionate. So, not that we know what they're up to.

That would mean they could be, you know, that much. But we know that they love froth cream. Yep. Some of them really like it. They get angry when we don't, when our, when our deliveries are behind. Is that anything? Is that anything? Yeah, I'm writing it down.

Company that compresses drugs to froth cream. Absolutely frothing. Frothing. Frothing. Frothing. So, you know what, I, so I went on a ride the other day. Yes. I went on a ride.

Are you into Luna Park? Yeah. Did you take your small children on any rides with you? Yeah, there's a watch you go on them. No, like the six-year-old loved all of the rides. Did you go on roller coaster? Yeah. We went first thing in the morning. And so we, Odie was able to go on three times basically without waiting. Whoa! And he and I loved it. Yeah, went on with Indiana twice and then once with me and then but then there's this one that so I'm not really good on with spinning things, right? These days if I if I spin around I get dizzy and it lingers for a long time

Yeah, I can't I can't be spinning And I at one point I had fixed it I when I was 23 years old I bought myself a trampoline Value you know this is what I was 23. I was like I'm gonna buy myself a trampoline You didn't know how this is what I was 23. I was like, I'm going to buy myself a trampoline. And I was living in a share house and I just popped a big trampoline in the backyard. And I wanted to one day learn how to do a backflip. Yeah, right. And but then I noticed that when you try and do that, it's a lot of spinning around. And you start feeling pretty sick.

But then after like a few days of doing that, I didn't feel sick anymore from doing it. That's interesting. So I think at some point the ear adapts. Now, the inner ear. You, did you ever achieve a backflip? Yeah, heaps.

Yeah, I was like, did you, was the objective to then take the backflip from the trampoline and just bring it onto level ground and and become a black one of those backflip guys? You know, I mean, you sometimes dream, but I I never really saw it as a possible as a possibility for me. Well, maybe we just got season two of the the dad's dad's dad's dad's dad's. We want to be able to do a backflip by the time we're 45. And we're going to see if we can get, um, Brad, Helen, I'm on a, but Helen, I'm on them Carter to do a backflip on Mike.

Oh, it's really good. I can't wait for season three where we get Edward not to do something. Yeah. You know, I didn't even realize she was in Fight Club when I said I was just looking for an odd, odd name. Well, I really respect that. That's beautiful. I count that as a sort of a symbol from the universe, aside from the universe. Absolutely, but then that means that season four we're getting meatloaf. Oh, that's exciting. I'm really looking forward to his physical challenge.

No, well, yeah, the physical challenge where he rubs the mic on some part of his body. Yeah. And we have to guess what it is. Well, really, he would have to rub it on his boobs, right? If that's... From... I know, but... Yeah, I mean, if we're...

But I mean, Helen and Bottomcott, it doesn't do a backflip in fight-pops, as far as I remember. No! No, she doesn't. She doesn't do a backflip in fight club. No, she doesn't. She doesn't. It might be in one of the deleted scenes. I think a version of Fight Club where it of fighting the guys get together in a basement to try and do backflips in front of each other is really nice.

That feels really wholesome in a way. Yeah. I think I feel like doing a backflip is such an enormous challenge to me. I've watched YouTube videos of people who try to talk you through doing it. I reckon we could get it done by, you know, especially once we have abs. Yeah, totally. I mean, we're going to be in a great position, I think. Because I think that'll probably remove a lot of that weight that holds you back from achieving a backflip. Yeah. I mean, I think that once's we have abs everything in our lives is going to get easier though. Yeah, you've got abs Abs, I'll probably get to place we'll be getting a lot more photo shoots. Do you think?

Yeah, I mean, I think that these are These are personal abs abs for personal use. I don't think apart from the fact that we're gonna do a live show where we reveal our abs I like to think that the abs are just for us. A lot of the time people have been abs for other people. Yeah, I think we just reveal them again on Mike. Yeah, right. Rob the microphone against them. Yeah, I don't think anybody, it's an audio medium. Everybody, you don't wanna destroy people's image of what the abs could be like. Yeah, in their minds. And they'll see the abs and how we hold ourselves.

You know, it's like, you know, it's like when you're trying to find exo-planets, right? You don't necessarily see the planet itself. Look at the planet directly. Yeah. You look at the evidence of the planet. Hmm. Hmm. You know, they'll see that there's a good life on abs, you know, just from the way that we carry ourselves, you know, from, um,

the way that we have energy, the way that we block, we block light. Yeah. Or don't block light, you know, or don't block light. Is that what you said? Yeah. Yeah, or don't block light, you know, or don't block light. Is that what you said? Yeah. Yeah. I've been blocking a bit of light recently. Yeah, me too. Tell you what, there's a lot of really cocky light coming from the sun. The things that it's going to definitely hit some ground. But then a whole big fella has something to say about that. And I stand in its way and it bounces off me instead. That's something you don't think about,

but every shadow is an eclipse. Oh yeah, partial eclipse. Partial eclipse. Partial solar eclipse. Partial eclipse, sink ships. That's what they say. What were we, okay, so I was gonna tell you about this ride. So then, so then there's this one ride that is the edgiest ride I've ever been on.

Yep. Right, because the pod and you go in there, so it's a big wheel, like it's a big wheel, and inside there's, on the edge of the wheels, they are dangling underneath, so let's say the wheel is horizontal, and then underneath there's these kind of, sort of spaceship-looking pods that, dangle underneath, and they're just a cage, basically,

shaped cage, but with a floor that you kind of sit on, that's a seat-flash floor, and there's no seat belt inside, right? And you can go in with your child in between your legs and they sit there as well. And then it starts to spin, right? And it starts to spin pretty fast to the point where the ship thing kind of tilts out

to the side and is starting to get a bit more like horizontal itself, right? So it's all G forces, right? And so my thinking was, I know I get dizzy, right? And I did, I actually packed a plastic bag into my pocket just in case. Literally like I was like, all right, if I, for some reason need to vomit very quickly, I'm gonna whip this out and in six, you know, under the force of three G's or whatever, and vomit very immediately. And direct the vomit into this plastic bag very neatly. I like a man who knows himself and knows his limitations. Yeah, and so then, so firstly already that was fun, but I was like if I keep looking for it

I won't get dizzy, but then then the wheel starts to tilt right? So then it starts to go from horizontal to you know on an angle diagonal And so you're kind of going up and then back down going until eventually it's basically Vertical yeah, and you're going completely upside down. And then back down again. So, but remembering that there is no seatbelt in this thing. Yeah. So, the reason why it feels so goddamn edgy

is because it is really just holding you there with G forces. And there's that moment where you're going, when you're going down, you've got both the G forces of this and gravity pushing you down, right? So you're like, holy shit, this is, you know, it's a lot of force, right? But then as you go upside down, gravity's pointing the other way. Yeah.

So then you don't, you feel like you're about to hit the roof. Yeah. You feel like you're about to hit the roof. And I have done that in a carnival ride before, when a carnie forgot to time me in. Jesus Christ. So, right? And so, I was like, I was with my brother, and then I was like, and the guy kind of like didn't come around. And I didn't know what this ride was really like, right?

But I could see this panic looked on my brother's face as the ride started. I was like, well, be fine. We'll just use our arms. And the first time this wheel went upside down and I saw my brother hit the roof. I don't know. I went. Oh, I think this, no. It's the air. We're in trouble. We're in real trouble. It was only a couple of, you know, there's only about another minute before the, before the guy running the ride saw us.

Yeah, another minute, that would've been a long minute though. We're gonna have to, we're gonna have to, we're gonna have to, you can realize a lot about yourself in that minute. Yeah. Um, I love, I've had the idea of giving you You can have it. You can have it. You can realize a lot about yourself in that minute. Yeah. I love, I mean, the idea of giving carnies, people who have nothing to lose themselves and have chosen a life deliberately with no safety net.

Yeah, yeah. And then putting them in charge of any kind of safety measure whatsoever is I think I think a lot of the time a carny is just somebody who's ridden all the rides and needs a little bit more buzz Mm-hmm. It needs a need to need an even more dangerous ride to go on and they go well You can become the guy who operates the thing Yep, you just join the Carnival. Yeah. It's the Wildest Ride of All.

Is there anything in the idea of a Carnie being the Wild, becoming a Carnie being the Wildest Ride of All? Yeah, I think so. You know, I think, you know, even the idea of it being sort of almost like a curse that when you, when you have finished all the rides, then you take the mantle. Sort of like, I mean, very like in Indiana Jones and the last crusade when he gets passed all of those tricks and traps in on his way into the keeping, keeping place of the holy grail. He defeats that last night, and then the night's like,

ah, well now you're the defender of the holy grail. Like, ah, dang. Yeah, I don't want that. I don't want that. But luckily somebody else arrived and they drank from it and turned to stone or whatever. Yeah, yeah, turned to dust. Dust.

Mm, sprinkler. Is that because that was not, was that was it because it was not the holy grail? Or was it because they chose the wrong, they chose poorly. Pauling sure. I've just seen him very recently in a, I've been watching a, a documentary about the, the comedy store, which was run by Paul de Shaw's mom. All right. And he was in it. Mitzi. Mitzi. Yeah, yeah, of course. Wow.

Well, you know, he's a very historically important person in terms of the history of comedy in the United States. I realized the other day, Alistair, that the movie The Wedding Singer is one of the few films where you can describe the plot through a spoonerism of one of the stars' names. Okay, wait Adam Sandler, Saddam, andler. That's it!

Okay, tell me what it is. Drew Barrymore or Drew Mary, Drew Mary Ball? Drew Mary Ball? Oh, there you go. Drew, you got to marry a ball. Oh, Drew Mary Ball. That is, you got to put a question back in there as well. Um, is that a normal part of a...

A Spoonerism? Yes, Spoonerism? No, no, that's a... That's an innovation of my own. I added that in. But would it not be, um, brew Darrymore? Yeah, that doesn't work so well though. Yeah, but I can see how Drew, Mary Boer, is good.

And I think it's clever enough that, Oh my God, she's only 46. Drew, Barrymore. Yeah. Oh, j- I loved how that realization hit you hard then. But that's, I mean, that is remarkable. She's been in our lives for so long.

So long. So long. All right, what's the sketch here? What are we doing with this? True Barry Paul? Do you think that you could make a movie? Give that that movie is so successful. That you might try and then think that that's the formula for a successful film, beloved screen icon. And then you go through various stars and see if

there are any spruisms of their films that you could then reverse their idea to make the plot of a film that they're in. All right, so let's try one. Brad, okay. Okay, I think, okay, this is gonna be tricky, but Helen Mirren, right? Melon, Heron. Heron. Well, wait, Melon Heron, so you can picture it. Somebody's holding a melon to their ear. To their ear, okay.

Yeah, that's what I said. So you can picture somebody's holding a melon to their ear. To their ear, okay. Yeah. What is that? Hey, you know, I mean, like, you know, you got to, you got to extrapolate because it's not like, it's not like Mary Boar tells you everything. No, you know, but it's, you know, it's maybe somebody's. But it's tantalized. I guess it is. Oh, it is. I mean, so they're holding a big melon up to their ear.

That's a great image for the poster as well. You wonder why somebody would do that. We now know that melons are sometimes used in a gender reveal thing, right? Yeah, that's true. Which, you know, what would the best gender reveal of all would be cutting open in the melon and then you just see the baby the babies inside and the genitals are actually looks at their genitals.

I mean this is again this is another infant mortality idea but you know say somebody is going to have a child idea, but you know say somebody is going to have a child and then they lose the child for whatever reason before they do the gender reveal with the melon. They've got the melon ready. And they instead look after the melon like it's a child, they somehow come to fixate on the melon and try to for some, for some sort of reason, of mental anguish. Also, they lose the babies that you said? Yeah.

Yeah, yeah. I mean, this is a drama, obviously. I just thought I'd call me a melon herod. Well, you don't have to call the movie that. I mean, Elan Virid, who thought she was gonna have a baby. And there did some reason. Hearing. I'm gonna call the movie that he just said. I'm gonna call the movie that he just said. I'm gonna call the movie that he just said. I'm gonna call the movie that he just said. I'm gonna call the movie that he just said. I'm gonna call the movie that he just said. I'm gonna call the movie that he just said. I'm gonna call the movie that he just said.

I'm gonna call the movie that he just said. I'm gonna call the movie that he just said. I'm gonna call the movie that he just said. I'm gonna call the movie that he just said. I'm gonna call the movie that he just said. I'm gonna call the movie that he just said. I'm gonna call the movie that he just said. I'm gonna call the movie that he just said.

I'm gonna call the movie that he just said. I'm gonna call the movie that he just said. I'm gonna call the movie that he just said. I'm gonna call the movie that he just said. I'm gonna call the movie that he just said. I'm gonna call the movie that he just said. I'm gonna call the movie that he just said. I'm gonna call the movie that he just said.

I'm gonna call the movie that he just said. I'm gonna call the movie that he just said. I'm gonna call the movie that he just said. I'm gonna call the movie that he just said. I'm gonna call the movie that he just said. I'm gonna call the movie that he just said. The story of Mary Boer of Wendell Singer by finding other coasts. You know, she was like the supporting character in it, right? She's not like the star. Yeah, I suppose so. I mean, I would call her the female lead, obviously. Like, I don't think she would be up for, if she, if the wedding singer was included in the Oscars that year, she wouldn't be up for best supporting actress. No. She would be up for best actress, right? She's the female lead. That's, that's what that role is. I'd say they're equaled

more or less. Okay. Even though it's Adam's. Yeah, that's true. I guess, you know, she didn't probably didn't do that much of the writing, but I guess on screen, there are the, you know, the describes the plot. They're definitely elements of, like, isn't it? So I don't know how many of Adam Sandler's films he's actually written, but you can see jokes that he's obviously added into the films. And there's interesting sort of things that recur, I think.

Anyway, what is this, fucking total reboot? They were doing a series on Adam Sandler recently. Doing a... Mary Boer. Really good. Listen to total reboots episodes about Adam Sandler's movies with Drew Barrymore. How many sketch ideas do we have, Alistair? Oh, one, two, three, four, five, six. Right. I mean, one of them is an idea for a really good website, but other than that. Well, no, I think it's gonna be an ad for a baby seat.

Yeah, no, of course you're right. You know, company. All right, then we got three words from a listener. I don't know if you know this, Andy, but we got listeners. Some of them are support our Patreon. And that gives them permission. Not on the right to send us the responsibility. The responsibility with great power, which they get from joining the Patreon. They get

the responsibility to send us three words that help support the show in terms of finding one more sketch idea. And today's supporter supporting hero is Björn Hoppe. Hello Björn Hoppe. Hello Björn Hoppe. Björn, I think I will point in our conversations. Björn told me that it's like earn, like you to earn money. Björn hop. But they didn't say anything about the hop bit, which is HOPPE. It could be, you know, I knew somebody from Germany, no, no, from Holland and it was a SILK and you would think it was like silk, but it's

silka, silka and the E is not like a, it's not like a, it's not anything on top, it's not anything fancy on top. But you know, it's just, it could be hopper. Hopper, I don't know. It's nice. I don't know. You know what my kid did the other day, wrote, was writing la la la la la. But I couldn't read it because I didn't know what the second letter was after the L.

And they'd spelled it L-H-L-H because it's like, well there's basically no vowel there. It's just la la la la la. Chicks out. And I and I feel like the I love that you used more like a child with a similar contempt for the rules of English. As you have. Yeah, but I mean, I think I think H should be used more like that as like, you know, like as an empty space. It's like you go, here there is no, there is no vowel.

And I'm not gonna be forced to put one in. Like, let's say if you want to, like if you want to write, like, so you say what you're gonna say. I was just saying H already looks like it's the most structural of any of the letters. Like it does look like a spacer. It looks like something you would put there to keep two letters apart from each other

that you didn't want to touch. Sure, I mean structurally it's one of the strongest letters for keeping two letters apart, at least the uppercase one. It's essentially an IB. All right. We got to get... we got to guess... I got to guess... I'm going to guess these words. These words, okay?

So the first word, you got to guess it now. Yeah. Okay, the first word is Calistimum. Calistimum? No, but... But I don't know anything

But instead the word is super super Second word duper super duper Andy the second word is Postman or postman super postman, ah, yes super postman, ah yes. Super postman. Pajamas?

No Andy. You couldn't be further from the truth. Super postman origin. Super postman origin. Nice. Now I have a question for you. What's the movie in which is it Kevin Costner gets like put into some virtual reality thing and then becomes like a super intelligent

transhuman sort of thing? Is that the lawnmower man? I have no idea about that movie. Yeah, right. But there is also a movie called The Postman, right? Yeah, I think there is a movie called The Postman. the postman, right? Yeah, I think there is a movie called the postman. Because I mean, really, if the lawnmower man had been called the postman, that would have made sense because he becomes a sort of a post human. Oh, but look, the postman is a movie with Kevin Kossner. So I don't know what I'm thinking about.

Yeah, but it does, it looks like it's set during the Civil War of America. Post-apocalyptic, it says. Oh no, it says the year is 2013. One man walked in off the horizon and hope this could be a reference to Bjorn Hope came with him. Maybe this is what Bjorn was trying to push us towards. I think it's really aided the podcast since we started doing it in front of our computers.

Lawn Moa Man, now who is in Lawn Moa Man? That's not Kevin Costner, no, some other bloke. That's the other guy. Right, but that, you know, that was... Soaring Jeff Fahy. Oh, all right. But I think that would have been so interesting if that had been... He plays Job Smith, an intellectually disabled guarder,

and Pierce Brosnan, as Dr. Lawrence Larry Angelo, a scientist who decides to experiment in an effort to give him greater intelligence. The experiments give Job superhuman abilities, but enhance his aggression, turning him into a man obsessed with evolving into a digital being. The film was adapted from an original screenplay entitled CyberGod. There you go. It's delightful. Thanks, though. I hope it nothing there.

So anyway, the super postman origin, okay? Well, now. Super already means kind of above, right? Above and greater than. Post means beyond. Yeah. so this is You know, so if it is super post-man above and beyond

Above and beyond man Maybe you know, maybe it's a woman. There we go. No But you know what you got to think so you got to think what what will come after man? But you know what you got to think so you got to think what what will come after man I mean that what will come after man could arrive tomorrow It may already be here Yeah, right And then a really good version of that that is somehow going above what all Expectations would be

Hmm, I guess a person with like a microwave in their stomach above what all expectations would be. I guess a person with like a microwave in their stomach, so they could cook food. Yes, yes, and one each had. And one each had. What, in each had microwave hands. I mean, I do really like the idea of being able to pick up a piece of food, clench my fist, and then open my hand,

and it's already been cooked. Mmm, that would be good. Cooking head. Cooking head is a really, really good idea. Yeah, okay, but now we have to find the origin story. You know, because if you put a bit of wire down each inside each finger, it could become its own Faraday cage, so that when you clench your fist like that, you stop the microwave from escaping.

From escaping from most of the area. I feel like that gap around where the fingers kind of curl around. No, we'll see. We'll see. I mean, there's not going to be a lot of room in there. You're really going to be able to cook a little more so let it time. Single bean.

But that's a good one. Yeah, I mean, I think you could, you know, Eric and you could, you know, I don't know, do like a mozzarella stick or something like that. You could do like that. Sure. You could do, you know, I guess you could take a bite from a hamburger that is cold and put it then spit it into your hand and then microwave that bite and then eat the warm one. So let's say you're on a McDonald's ad set.

And they make you eat one of those disgusting cold burgers that they've made look really nice. And instead of spitting it into a bucket between takes you spit it into your hand, Microwave it and then enjoy a beautiful fresh microwave, like Donald hamburger. So now how did this person get this? Well, I think they would have had to have one of their hands removed. It seems like this very rarely ever super heroes. And I'm saying this with not very much knowledge of superheroes where they just go, my origin story was that I wanted to become a superhero.

Yeah, I think that's really interesting. I mean, maybe that syndrome from the incredible... Yeah, syndrome from the Incredibles was definitely the first thing that came to my mind. But it is a really interesting idea to have that drive and then to somehow succeed. I mean, that they're that desperate to become a superhero and the thing that they decide to do is replace one of the hand of the microwave. Yeah. And they build a microwave into their hand. Here's the problem though. See, like, you know, maybe they will eventually have to replace their hand with a microwave, but I think they've

just made their hand able to microwave. But I also do think it's kind of funny to have somebody with a full microwave on the end of one of their arms, which would give them the power of being able to bash people with this big microwave. Oh yeah. And then we'll place it. And replace it. And replace it.

And replace it. And replace it. Have a big like backpack with a huge battery. Oh yeah. I actually really like this superhero. And a lot of those people who like, you know, attach electrical devices to themselves, refer to themselves as like post human kind of people, you know, cyborg, cybernetic. Now this is my head. Microwave head. Microwave head.

You know, now you can, and he said, maybe his catchphrases, wave by by, Michael, wave by by, wave. Something about waving. Microwave by by to your beautiful face. Yeah, when he smashes you in the face and his microwave. Man, one that one arm would get so strong, they're back.

They're back would get thrown out. And that microwave would get really broken. Probably that's a point for heating things. They're, they're, they're back gets fucked up from having just one, you know, always having a really heavy thing on one arm. And then suddenly they have to be pushed around in a stretcher by like, by their sidekick. And I picture them just lying down and they go, that way, they point with their non-microwave hand. The gurney boy.

gurney boy. And then there's a big deal. Gernie man. Gernie man sounds a bit like Gernie man. And that's enough for a science fiction. They're a superhero. And then the hero, and then the hero, sort of just like, you know, rests their microwave hand on their chest while they draw, while they're riding.

And then they lift it up and swing it people as they go past. But they won't go and see them, because they go past. But I want to see them, because they don't lie on their back. I don't know, but they got a couple of pillows. They go, put another pillow under there, lift my head. Oh, they start to like do the baby laugh because of this I've had. We should be really embarrassed

for saying this stuff. No, this is like, this I'm bad. You should be really embarrassed, because I hate this stuff. No, this is like, I'm sorry, buddy. You want, I want there to be more. I mean, if we have to live in a world with lots of superhero universes, there has to be more that are just not good. You're right.

You're right. Okay, Alistair, you want to take a short of the sketch ideas? We got the baby seat rating slash, you know, baby seat ad for these people who are, you know, trying to justify, you know, allowing you to justify buying baby seats with lower ratings in cars. So what I need? Including telling you if you think you've got a tougher including including telling you if you think you've got a tougher baby telling you if you think you're a better driver you know you've got seats that are more justifiable that you could

have bought and you know you can a seat that is a low rating but you can justify it more easily it's a kind of a bad happens. It's a sort of a, a handy cap. A big score for the thing. Or like a, you know, it factors everything and gives you an adjusted safety rating. And they've been grief testing these. Yeah, exactly. So they say, look, this one does have a lesser safety rating, but you'll feel less bad if something goes wrong.

So you go, oh, that's interesting. So then, okay, we got that. Then we got crash test smarties. These are the people who end up doing PhDs instead of having children and driving them to the prom. And they then start their own only fans account and make $2,500 per week. I thought it was per month. It's really good.

It's really good money, as I'm saying. Yeah, well, I mean, good on them. Then we got the company that compresses drugs to froth cream. It's other various sort of nangs but then putting other drugs in there because they say this is actually one of the best gases for frothing cream. We got carny is the scariest ride of all that's after somebody you know maybe maybe they're at you know one of these carnivals and somebody's you know maybe one of the carny's is saying hey look. Do you want to try the really scary ride?

Yeah, well, you know, maybe the guys like, I'm gonna do, I've only, there's only one ride I haven't done. He goes, I wouldn't do that last one. That will put you, that will put a, you know, once you do that, there's only one more place to go beyond that. And that is the scariest ride of all. Becoming a carnie and then he, and then they become a carny. And it's a wild rod. Yeah. So funny.

Trying to recreate the success of the wedding singer by finding other supporting cast member spoonerism names that described the plot, like Barrymore, Mary Boer. You know what? Because while you were talking about that, my idea was gonna be, let's see if we can make another movie by just changing, you know, one of the vowels in the titles into another vowel.

So for some reason, I was gonna be Wedang Singar, right? Yeah, let's see if we can. the Wedang Singar. Right? Yeah. Yeah, let's see if we can. And then, but you know, you could make a movie that's called Wedang Singar. You know, it sounds like you could probably set it in. Well, I mean, that's changing two vowels. Really, it would have to be the Wedang singer.

No, no, no, it's, oh's changing two vowels. Really, it would have to be the wet angs singer. No, no, it's, oh yeah. I did, so I was trying to change all the eyes into A's or the E's into A's, but I really messed it up. Yeah, I mean, you could have the... The wet angs singer does sound like you're opening up like a sandwich place in India. In Indonesia or something like that. Yeah, I was saying.

Yeah. Or the warding, the warding singer. Singor. Warding. No, no, song, songer. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, right, I'm gonna, yeah. Oh yeah, we'll do the song. Yeah. B-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D- Do, do, do, do. Thank you so much for listening to anything, Tankley Loft, that you did that. Keep an eye out and an ear out for Dabs, a new podcast. Two dads trying to get abs.

Maybe we'll start it after my 38th birthday. So we've got two years, or I've got two years to get abs. And then I've got a little bit less. A little bit less than two years to get abs. get it. And then I've got a little bit less. A little bit less than two years to get at it. That's just enough time. Yeah. Keep doing what you're doing. You're doing great. Thanks very much. You can check out the Discord. Have a bit of fun there. The link is in the show notes. You can also support us on Patreon. You can follow us on Twitter. I'm at Stupid

Old Annie. He's at Alistair TB. We are at Two in Tank. Alistair, you can follow us on Twitter, I'm at Stupid Old Annie, he's at Alistair TB, we at Two in Tank, Alistair, you were on Confessions of the Idiots recently. Yeah, yeah, it turned out real fun, and it was me and Nick Mason and Sam Peterson, who remained the host of that show for the entirety of that show. What a good guy. Yeah, absolutely. That's it. That's it. That's it from us. Thank a good guy. Yeah, absolutely. That's it. That's it.

That's it from us. Thank you so much. You did it. Tootie. Love you. Bye. little. There's never been a better time to consider a career in IT. You could enjoy a recession-resistant career in a rewarding field, with plenty of growth opportunities and often flexible work environments. Go to mycomputercareer.edu and take the free career evaluation. You could start your new career

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