Simple Swedish Podcast - 322 - "THE OPPOSITE OF BASKETBALL"

Episode Date: February 8, 2022

Get Tickets to TELEPORT, 3 nights only (Feb 23-27), at Fringe Rebound HERE (please)Tickets are also available to "My" "Client" "Is" "Innocent" at MICF from the end of MarchTOOB, Anti-Mask Lungworm, RC Cola Story, Truly Fast Food, Inner Mouth Beard, Anti SquirtYou can support the pod by chipping in to our patreon here (thank you!)Listen and subscribe to THE POP TEST on Radio National or as a PodcastJoin the other TITTT scholars on the TITTT discord server hereGet Magma here: https://sospresents.com/programs/magmaHey, why not listen to Al's meditation/comedy podcast ShusherDon't forget TITTT Merch is now available on Red Bubble. Head over here and grab yourselves some material objectsYou can find us on twitter at @twointankAndy Matthews: @stupidoldandyAlasdair Tremblay-Birchall: @alasdairtb and instaAnd you can find us on the Facebook right hereiThanks 2.0 to George for producing this episode. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This holiday season, give the gift of glow with OSEA's limited edition Super Glow Body Set. This three-piece kit has everything they need to exfoliate, hydrate, and glow all over. For a gift that will impress, give OSEA's Super Glow Body Set. Right now, you can get the Super Glow Body Set valued at $126 for only $79 when you use code GIF that Osea Malibu.com. That's code GIF that O-S-E-A Malibu.com. I want to lift a bit of restful my mind. Hello and welcome to Toon the Thing Tank this show where we come up with five sketch ideas. I'm Andy. I'm Alistair George William,

Trumbly Virtual, and Andy is staring at something in the distance. Already. Andy has just tuned out. He said his bit. He was done. He was done. Andy got his thousand yards stare.

I guess maybe the beginning of the music, reminded him of being in a hundredth episode of Some Sort. And then he went into autopilot. I just looked over it, I looked over at neither wall there and I see you've got some other microphones in a little box. Possibly like a little USB microphone. Yeah, I used it once for the podcast and George said that it was bad.

Oh. It was bad because it was not consistent with the sound that we normally get. Okay, right, because I, Kali, just recently bought me a USB microphone. Yeah. So it's good to know. It will be bad. Yeah, well, you know, it just won't be consistent with what George wants and it'll be too loud and things like that. And, you know, 90% of this be consistent with what George wants and be too loud and things like that.

And, you know, 90% of this podcast now is just trying to give George what he wants. We are, you know, that's, we will only continue for George. So, because obviously George gets a lot out of this. Yeah, George is on the payroll and he's our one guaranteed listener. Yeah, no, I don't know if he listens to the whole episode. No, not the whole episode. No, but he does check the levels, which is a way of consuming a podcast. Yeah, yeah. You know, like sometimes some of your favorite podcasts, you don't

actually listen to them. You just look at the way they're equalized or something. I think it would be an equally valid way to listen to it would be to download the MP3 file, load it up in audacity, and just look at the way for and enjoy that. Yeah, no, we've talked about that before. Have we? Yeah, yeah, never so. We've talked about way for just before. But you could understand, you could sort of get, you know,

a hero's journey by imagining it, sort of almost like Lord of the Rings, then somebody walking maybe with their walking, maybe with their friend, maybe with their enemy, or both, in the case of Lord of the Rings. And getting to that journey and at the end, that's where they throw something into something. It could be a basketball into a net,

could be a ring into a volcano. Isn't that interesting? That insult it to somebody else's that in the Lord of the Rings is kind of like the opposite of basketball, right? Because you are allowed to walk along distance carrying the thing against just the travel. But then it is the ring that you throw. That's right.

If only at the end they'd throw it into a ball. That's right, yeah. It's kind of a ball of fire, I suppose. Well, the earth is a ball. The earth into a ball. That's right, yeah. It's kind of a ball of fire, I suppose. Well, the earth is a ball. The earth is a ball. They throw, oh my God. All right, first sketch. Lord of the rings.

This is the opposite of basketball. Rings. And all the people are really short. God. Now the only thing wouldn't have been, wouldn't have been better if the ring had been thrown off and there'd been a little backboard there from to bounce it. Yeah. Well, frontboard, maybe. Frontboard. Frontboard.

You know, which could be what are all the obstacles that they had to go. Yeah, I mean, at the very end, he didn't want to throw it in as well. And then it was, was it Golem who like bit off his finger and fell in with the ring? So that's the opposite of what happens in basketball. That's right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's kind of more of a like a Mike Tyson kind of thing. Obviously not the fingers.

You still have to make it an opposite of thing. Obviously not the fingers. You still have to make it an opposite of sport and some way. Yeah, yeah. Maintaining that. There might have been a board somewhere back in the- Oh, just so happy, man. I know, I know, I know, I'm almost considering.

I know, I know this is, you know, this is an idea in many ways that was generated, you know, in a big part by you, but I would almost consider naming the next standup show Lord of the Rings is the opposite of basketball and then people will have to come to find out in what way Yeah, it's tantalizing and I'll only tell you how if you come to the show Oh, because you know, but you'll be a lot of interviews and things like that on radios and things like that. And people will be like, so what's the show about?

Well, I go, basically it's about the title. But it's gonna be like one of those like long Facebook videos that goes instead of for 20 minutes. Yeah. That goes for 50 minutes. Yeah. And I won't tell you. And this is more like face to face book, if you know what I'm saying?

Face to face book. And there's actually no book. And there's no book. In many ways it's the opposite. This show is the opposite of Facebook. You're writing that that as well. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Well, that's the next year's show. Yeah. Right. Now, just while we were talking about wave forms before and it obviously brought to mind the, you know, the big current topic in podcasting, which is the saying of slurs on the Joe Rogan show. Yeah.

And I was wondering if there would be, you know, it's obvious, and I don't know, I could be getting into trouble by saying this, right? But like, is there a market for just people who, you know, we won't, you know, for people who really seem to really, really want to say slurs. Right. Well, what we won't do is you can't say them, but what we can do is we can print out the wave form of Joe Rogan saying it. Yeah.

And you can put that up on your wall and look at it because nobody says you can't look at them. Look at their way. I mean, you could just print out the word, couldn't you? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, sorry. I mean, that would be quite intense. Yeah.

I mean, you know, but I mean, I guess if that's what you want, that's what you want. I mean, yeah, like I have a little letsy store that just sells bad words, you know, bad words framed into photopic. Oh, I mean, there's a guy on Facebook marketplace in my area. I've seen he's, he's making laser cut novelty signs. And the one that he's chosen to demonstrate this is just the word Kant and really big letters.

Yeah, so is it holes cut out of metal? It's the inserts, the hole that you take would take out. To take out. So, it's likely you could probably sell two things there. To sell it to us. That's actually really, that's really savvy. Yeah. So, he's a savvy businessman.

Yeah, that's, that's two counts with one laser anyway, I don't know, wave forms of obscene words. What I love is that we're getting so much out of this wave form new twist and I'm really feeling very comfortable with it. So, but like, what would you say is the benefit of this, if any? Okay, how about this is a benefit? No, don't worry about it. Don't worry about it. There's no benefit to it, Alistair. It's just a...

How about this, double the grows in towards your... Yeah, it's into your mouth. This is good. On the inside of the mouth. It's just... It's not because from the inside lip, the inner lip. Well, see, I think that's always what I thought a hair lip was, that like hair grew inside your mouth.

Makes a lot of sense. Yeah. But I think it's H-A-R-E, and it's because the hair is the animal, have a lip that is split like that. Of course. That almost seems like, like that would not be a thing that people enjoy having their lip called that. No, I think it is not considered okay to call that probably. Yeah.

But what about, because I mean, if you have the hairs on the inset of your mouth and some if we've already done this. No, we have it. It would kind of be more like a baleen. I mean, as well as having teeth. That's true Right. So but you could probably Once you grow out your beard your inner mouth beard. Mm-hmm. And I think that this is a thing that should That all genders should have and that's what's great about it is that it can be private, you know You can grow your facial hair inside your face

And then it's just for you to enjoy. Yeah, but I don't think you can, you can stop it. Yeah, yeah, I don't think it's like you get to choice. It's pretty tricky. Yeah, you probably can try. You probably get some clippers in your mouth, clippers. I think any of the clippers that people, I mean, obviously you're clipping these hairs off to your mouth, but I think you'd get used to it where you go,

like that, like the ones that people use to show. Not the exact ones that people use to do their testicles, but it's a similar kind of soft, fleshy thing. Yeah, like that. And I think it would be great for like having bubble tea for anybody who doesn't like the tea. Right, but they love those chunks of stuff. The tapioca balls, my least favorite bit of the tea. That's actually your lesson.

Why would you get a bubble tea if you don't like the balls? I think they sell tea. That is the way it, that is the bubbles. Yeah, I just find the texture of them quite off-putting. I love it. That's the only thing I like about it, except for the flavor and the overall experience. Yeah. The only thing I don't like is thinking about them in my belly.

Yeah, just jostling around. Just kind of piling up, kind of creating some kind of block. Flag. Yeah, okay. Do you chew them at all? You don't really do you? You just sort of suck them down? Yeah.

Or you chew them? Of course. Okay, alright. Then I suck them. But I don't let them into my food pipe. I think that I picture them piling up in my lungs. Because there must be like a certain depth down. food pipe. I think that I picture them piling up in my lungs. Because there must be a certain depth down. If you get something caught in your

wind pipe up here, then you cough. But if it's down sitting on your lung, coughing is going to help you. Coughing's got nothing. You're in the tip yourself upside down territory. But I think this is what the problem with like asbestosis and that sort of thing is that you get those fibers down in there. And once they're down in there, they're not coming out. Like there's no way. Just regular wood like sawing wood has like is yeah, was sawdust, it's like it's a it's a pronged kind of thing. I don't think you're supposed to breathe in a lot of sawdust either. It's terrible for me to hear Alice say.

Well, but obviously you take all the precautions and you know me. You wear masks. It's like because Mattie, like you literally have a N93 mask or any five mask on you at all time. Yeah, but I use that for just sort of being outside a general just interacting with people. I can find one. But when I'm on the job, LSD, sanding the floors like I was last week. Yeah.

I mean, there's no coronavirus around. That's right. So I was using a mask while I was sanding the floors. That's great. And a new place. Yeah. But you were flicking like little bits of metal sh-shards into your eyes at least, right?

Yeah. But I, and I recognize that it is bad to have wood dust accumulating in your lungs. But I think for an organic thing like wood dust, I can imagine that there is, the lungs have their own very, very, very gentle, very minor version of a digestive system, where they are somehow able to dissolve things like that over a long period of time. Yeah, yeah. Or at least it gets down and rot and sort of grow sports and things like that over a long period of time. Yeah, or at least it gets getting rotten, sort of gross sports and things like that.

Sure, whatever. Or the very least. Not the very least. It can decompose through the worms and things like that that live in wood, and now live in your lungs. I mean, it would be great if there was a lung digestive system. I mean, the lung is, again, is the air stomach. A lung digestive system, or even as you suggested, just a little lung ecosystem, where there are a few little worms and some mosses. And that's what I think is a big worm. I imagine it's warm, it's dark, it's wet, it's very much like the rainforest floor.

So I think it's the perfect kind of undergross type in far. That would be great. A single worm in there, right? That turns everything, pardon my language here, into farts, right? So it just, it'll eat anything, any foreign objects that come in through your thing, it could be, it could be wood dust or, you know, or, you know, maybe, you know, any smell that, you know, like candle smoke and kind of any, you know, essential oils that maybe somebody will put a burner on for if you're a smoker, you know, you're nicotine, your tongue, that kind of thing.

But it all, yeah, exactly all that stuff that accumulates in there, it's a worm that eats that stuff of thing. But it all, yeah, exactly, all that stuff that accumulates in there, it's a worm that eats that stuff. Yeah. But then, it expels it into a worm, into a worm for it. Yeah. Which means then, you can breathe those things out again. Yeah.

You see, but if it just kind of poops dirt like a regular worm or whatever, then that's real bad, because they just don't, don't run them on. Yeah. I think this is a great idea. I think this is even a sketch idea. Lung dirt, I mean, lung worm.

The lung worm. Because what the lung worm does is it makes it so that you don't need a mask, you know, and you can look tougher, you can be more manly. I think we could really mark at this to sort of the anti-mask type of people. It's very natural, right? And then it's just, you know, just a lung, a worm that lives in your lungs. For, I think you'd need two. You'd need one for each sac. Like one for your testicles and one for you. No, one for each, you know, lung, lung sac. Okay, right, right. So, Bami, you could try just injecting a lung worm into your ball bag if you wanted to. And just see what happens.

I guess then it would make air come out of your penis. Farts. I've no worm farts. But what's it eating then? Say I worry about like, because it doesn't have the dust. Yeah, but do you want more children, Andy? You know what? I don't see any human problem that can't be solved by injecting a little worm.

A little, a little long worm, little worm. That eats, that eats, you know. And I liked it the way that these, these worms, they're not genetically engineered. Okay, to do this. What they are, is they're trained by worm trainers. and they're broken much like you would break a a wild horse. Yeah, right? A big dusty fenced-off area. Exactly. You know, which is much more hostile to the worm because they often need wetness and things like that. And so they break much easier. They do. Yeah, and they're relative to the size of the whip, there are obviously much smaller as well. So you can have once you find them.

Yeah. If you can hit them, you really have an impact. Yeah. Yeah. Once you sit down on it, are you fine? Sit down on it. They break pretty. Are you riding the facility? You got a, you got a, you got a, what are you going to do? You can, yeah.

What are you going to do? You're sad, you're sad, let get on it? Sadlet up the worm. That's good. I like the idea of riding a big worm. And for a bus type scenario, everybody, you have a really long, long big caterpillar or worm. In what a bus? Yeah.

Yeah, you and we ride on that instead of on a bus. It's really big though, like it's, you know, as thick as a worm. In what? A bus? Yeah. Yeah, and we ride on that instead of on a bus. It's really big though, like it's, you know, as thick as a horse, but it's a... Yeah, thick as a horse, but long, sort of like... Well, what we feel like... 300 meters? Yeah. Like, or 100 meters, would the 100 meters be too much?

Well, I get... You could sprint it in roughly 12 to 13 seconds. Yeah, that's exactly what I'm thinking. Yeah, I don't know what that distance is called, but the distance that I don't know. Like are you saying Bolt could sprint in? Well, no, he would say about nine seconds. That's something I'm sure. No, no, no, you can't, and I don't think anyone's ever done the below nine point below nine.6 or something like that. I reckon he's got it into the eights.

I've literally seen a video somewhere on YouTube that says why it's almost impossible to run it in nine seconds. Well, there might be days where you're running downhill and there's like a, there's wind behind you or something like that. I want to know what you're saying. What times is running now that he's given up competitive? I think we should get updates on that. Yeah, just what you stick to.

Just to laugh. Yeah, I think that would be nice. And throughout the rest of his life, almost like, like that seven, seven movie. You know, that seven documentary? Seven up. Seven up. Not seven, which is the one with Kevin Spacey, where he's a psychopathic murderer. Well, we don't know the end of this one.

Oh, that's a really good idea. Let's make a seven up. But it's seven, and we write seven with the number seven, like they did in the movie seven. I think the toe is written. And yes, yes. But then it's seven up. They don't do that in seven up today. They don't write Don't they use it in the movie seven? I'm pretty sure they used the little the number seven Yeah in the spelling of the word seven. Oh, right right so that when they write it out in words I thought you I think in seven up they just use the word the number seven maybe and then the word up, but they could no that's the drink Yeah, I'll have to look it up. I think that there's a possibility that it's not,

is it called seven up that documentary series? Thanks. So yeah, yeah, obviously I could close my computer. So I wouldn't get distracted by these things. Yeah. Well, let's come back to you. Should have just allowed yourself to be distracted, not like we are now.

Yeah, anyway. Nice. No, you're right, it's written with letters. Well, look, but then later on, 56 up, written with a number. Yeah, well, that would have been, that would have sounded silly. But I just started wondering if we should do seven up. It's a documentary where we go back

and we interview serial killers every seven years. So we interview serial killers everything. The seven, the movie seven, obviously, but with the conceit of seven up. And at the end, they show us all, they give you a box. At the end of each episode, they will open all, they give you a box. At the end of each episode, then you open it and you find out who they've been killing. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, yeah. So we've catch up with serial killer. And I also think that, you know, based on the success of that documentary, Seven Up, we should also turn every soft drink into a documentary. Sprite. See, this is already hilarious. RC Cola, I think, would make a good documentary. I think I would like to see the story of the RC Cola story. Hmm. And here, I think there would be somebody's idea. Yeah. Yeah.

But like, whoever it is, who's like, so the story of Coca-Cola is, you know, it's one of the, it's the story of capitalism. It's Coca-Cola, it's the story of American ingenuity. I was gonna say cultural power, you know, and domination. Marketing, business. Ah, C-Cola.

What's that story? What story does that tell us? I mean, it's got brand recognition. Yeah, everybody listening knows what you're talking about. Yeah. But, you know, and it's made it into some big retailers. Is it climbing? Is it going after Pepsi?

Does it consider itself the Pepsi killer? I mean, imagine. Yeah. I like to think that the people at RC Cola are that driven and they do change in their regard themselves as the in with the big leagues and with the potential to take over. And after the movie comes out, I think that they're probably, you know, instead of being like a row of two two-liter bottles or whatever that they have in a supermarket, they could get a whole row, potentially. Maybe they maybe they've, you know, maybe they'll be like, then here's our chance to release our like our sugar-free RC cola or our cherry RC cola.

And I'm sure that got those just waiting to go. Cued up. I mean, they've had a lot of free time. I would be surprised if one of the family members still drives it himself. To all the shops. To all the shops. And gets it in sort of by seeming quite pathetic. That's what I was. Please.

Please. Yes. And then always like dust off their hands and walks off real confident every time after the bag. Yeah. Do you remember? Yeah. Like I heard Paul does. Ah. Ah.

So, I guess then he has to jumpstart his car. Paul, yeah, like. Ah. Ah. Ah. Do you remember slam collar? Slam? Don't just drink it.

Slam it. This might have been before you came to Australia. So, I think it was probably while I was at primary school, that those ads came out and it seemed so cool. I was very into the idea of drinking slam. It's really interesting, because around time, when the time I came, solo, having a big push, was always about slamming it down.

Yeah, so you can slam it down fast. Yeah, you'd have a big opening on the can. No. I mean, I never think of that. I was like, well, because a cup is essentially a can with a big open. It's very big open. And I don't go, I'm gonna, you know,

I'd throw myself a can, you know, soft drink. I don't be gonna like, finally a cup so that I can slam it down fast. And there are no foods that advertise themselves as that. Do that. This is a real quick eating food. Yeah. Which I think they should.

Yeah, no, I would like a quick eating food. This is the world's fastest burger. You know, because there's those, you know, eating competitions and that sort of thing where it's like, look at this huge burger. Yeah. I bet you can't eat this in 45 minutes or so. Yeah, I think they're missing a trick. They should be like, you can eat this in two minutes.

Yeah, I think maybe it was in a pressurized bag. What, it just burst after. Well, you would also squeeze it. You'd also squeeze it, but then yeah, it kind of bursts in like that. So you kind of, you mean, if it was like a hearty soup, it would be like swallowing pills. Yeah, you know, which is always pleasant and easy and quick. But you have, you ever had a pressurized pill sort of injector

into your throat, you know, I have. So probably has like a little, you know, probably has a couple of centimeters of just liquid at the front. I know you want more of the meat stuff. See, I think to me, it's a burger that looks just pretty much like a regular burger, or whatever it is, whatever the food stuff is. Fast foods, they're only concerned about how quick it is to make, not how quick it is

to eat. But if they had scientists working on this and they've made like the bread that's the easiest to chew, right, your teeth go through this 12 times as fast as they do through even brioche, right? Then the even brioche. Even brioche. That's the really soft one, isn't it?

The brioche bun? I think a lot of bread is soft But you're right. It is kind of feels like airier Yeah, that's what I'm getting at yeah because teeth pass quicker through air than they do They do bread right now can we find something good? That's even quicker than and for you know, maybe if we fill the holes in the bread with Instead of with oxygen it's alkalond I mean is that a slippery or molecule? Or a hydrogen.

Hydrogen, sure. You know? I mean, is it interesting? It's flammable. I like it. Yeah. Okay. I mean, if you want, if you need, if you want to, you know, I think feel like we're going

to have quite a limited amount of noble gases on the earth. It's a fun. Right. I mean, maybe helium. Yeah, you know, get helium in there. And you know, maybe you're in it. And that's, you know, what's good about that. Liza is quicker to lift it up to your mouth. That's right. You know, we're looking at every, every pot of the eating process. Could the, could the burger itself be aerated? Sure. The meat. Yeah, burger, it self be aerated. Sure.

The meat. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's puffed meat. And could maybe, I mean, could the burger be slippery? Well, I was, and I was getting to this that like, you know, that we, like, the components have, I've been impregnated with oils of some kind. Well, it's in lubricant or something. Yeah.

You know, an eating lubricant. I've made that, yeah. Because I mean, water, water, olive oils and that sort of thing. Water is like a lot of speed eaters. They dunk their hot dog in the water. And then, but is water the most, because water can also, you know, like on a slippery floor. Sometimes if you wet your shoes, it actually is more sticky. Yep, yep, you're absolutely right.

So you could be shooting yourself in the foot here. But like, what I want is, you know, vortex, you know, your vortex oils for your car, how they, you know, make these performance oils. I want them to get into the olive oils. It's a vortex high performance olive oil. I'm fuck single first pressing or whatever, virgin extra virgin. I want high performance. High octane. High octane. All the way. I don't know. I want you to, you have to re-change the molecules. Speedy. It's just combined. Some of them and get, is the octane the idea is that it's like the double bonds? Like, is that the, don't know. They're more flammable for some, because of some kind of bond they got in there. Maybe shorter molecules. I think they might have in a high octane fuel.

Octane sounds like it's a specific time for this molecule. It's a C8H18. It's a C8, it's the number of carbon atoms, of course, and I mean, that's the condensed of course, it's CH3 bracket CH2 bracket 6 CH3. Yeah. Well, that rolls off the tongue much like this high performance oil. Andy, what you accidentally said before is you actually found the solution. It's almost a a Dyson style solution, right? Cause you said the word vortex. Yes.

Now a food that you swoosh around your mouth in a spinning motion. Maybe it's like you got to eat it, but you so there's a bit of a learning curve. You got to spin your tongue. Spin your tongue, right? Sure. And you are creating a vortex. You get the vortex. Always going down and you and you are eating with your head pointing up towards the ceiling.

Exactly. You can't see the spit. You've got your neck back so that the throat is nice and straight. Yeah. The mouth and throat are aligned there. And if you get that vortex going in the back of the throat, you pin the uvula back, get that out of the way. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It comes with a dongle that does that. Oh, it would be good. You probably just hook it, you know, like a spaghetti thing, a little spaghetti noodle, that you can, you know, when people do that thing where they, they snort it up into their nose, pull it up, it's like that, but it's like a noodle with less soup. With less soup.

Yeah, with less soup, you know what? That's it, pull it up, that's it. Out through the nose, yank that. Yeah, pull it up, yank that. Pull it right year of your life. Pull it up, not through the nose. Yeah, like that. Pull it right out of the way. You think it's your head back like that. All right, and this food, what you don't realize is until it gets into your mouth, it just crumbles. You don't need to chew it.

It's essentially dissolving. You know, it's all the air. It's all the hype. It's been ripped apart by the centrifugal forces. Yeah, that's right. And your tongue's going like that. It's been ripped apart by the centrifugal forces. Yeah, that's right. And your tongue's going like that. And it just pulled apart like that. And it's separating into its different weight classes.

Oh, sort of fractured, fractured old distillation type thing. Yeah. Essentially, it's like one of those spinning centrifuge. Yeah. Centrifusion in bomb making, in the nuclear bomb making. Yeah. Like that. And then it's just going, lightest down, slightly heaviest down like that.

And that's when at the end, the bag that you hold the burger in has a little extra cleansing liquid fluid. It's just a bag, it's just a bag of the lubricant that you, that the, the, the burgers are already dipped in. And it's just like that. And it's just like that, and it's just like a little shot in a mouth to just cleanse out your mouth, get rid of anything else that's in there, but that everything slides downwards. It's one of those, it's so slippery.

It's one of those things that has hyper viscosity or whatever, or is it sub-viscosity? One of those ones where there's zero viscosity. And so like, you know, a liquid can just climb out of a glass. Yeah. Right. But you seal your lips after that gets shot in.

Yeah. And everything has to slide down because there's no friction in there anymore. There's no way to run. There's no way to run. And that means also the flavor has got nowhere to go. Now that was so fun to talk about, Elster. I feel like I should just bring up my great topic earlier. Pretty good.

Slurs, wave balls, just to help calm us down. Just as a little palette cleanser for us and for the listener. Because obviously the podcast is now going too well. And I got just the remedy. Just the remedy. Oh my God. How are we going for a sketch idea in a stand there? One, two, three, four.

But you know what, we never had any closure on the inner mouth beard. Right? You know what I like about the inner mouth beard? Yeah. Is that it's going to massively increase the amount of food that gets stuck sort of inside your mouth and just stays there for a really long time. And the flavors sort of blend from one to another. Yeah, but you're not thinking about how we're also gonna blend,

we're gonna blend the toothbrush and the hairbrush together. And then you're gonna be brushing the inside of your mouth. But also, don't think of it as food getting stuck in your mouth. Think of it as, by the way, your beard is gonna be brushing your teeth. Oh yeah! Well, see, that's fun. See, so it's going to be constantly in a state

of getting cleaned. All you got to do is every now and then, you get one of those little injector bags, inject a little bit of extra toothpaste, like just a toothpaste that you can keep in your mouth at all times, right? Implanon. Implanon.

Get them to do toothpaste. What's that? Implanon is that women's, get them to do toothpaste. What's that? Implenon is that women's, I was about to say period medication, but it's the pill, right? Hormone.

Okay, but you get it just like as a little thing under your skin. And then you don't need to take the pills or whatever, just releases itself slowly. That's what I was up. The toothpaste. That's what I was gonna, so that's a great idea.

Just have it inside the tongue. So the tongue's always just leaking minty freshness. I mean, since you've framed it this way, I do actually feel ripped off that like I don't just have a run of toothbrush bristles around the inside of my cheeks, top and bottom, two runs, okay, one for each set of teeth. Cause my cheeks are always moving of my cheeks, top and bottom, two runs, one for each set of teeth, because my cheeks are always moving past my teeth, my teeth, the moving past my cheeks.

And they could just be constantly brushing. And then a similar one and a little ring around the tongue. You can totally make it in brush by just biting parts of your cheek enough that they become sort of bristly and kind of rough. I feel like you're doing this anyway. This is part of your cheek enough that they become sort of bristly and kind of rough. I feel like you're doing this anyway. This is part of your project. It's my big projects with my thickener liping. The heater lipa get your constant body if you're a limp.

Yeah. But also, even if your beard wasn't brushing your teeth, don't think of the food caught inside your mouth and inside your mouth hair. Mm-hmm. As being stuck. Think of it as every meal is slow release. Mm-hmm. Because a lot of the time, we are slamming down meals. Right, we're slamming them down

like they're a lubricated burger made for fast eating, right? Yeah, but what if only say 25% of the meal actually went down your throat while you were eating it, but the rest kind of was just distributed equally throughout all the hair and teeth and stuff with that in your mouth. And then over the day, in between meals, it was just slowly, coming loose, you know, due from the movings of the tides of saliva, breaking off and then going back in like that, it would be called, I would call it intermittent eating. You see, so that in between meals, you never have to stop.

Yeah. And it's a similar thing because your stomach gets a much, you know, kind of gets a break by only micro-dosing food rather than meals rather than, you know, having full. You're buffering in a way, right? You're kind of buffering. You're mouth buffering. Yeah, you're not giving me much of a concession there, right?

Well, I guess my understanding of what buffering is, it was more like a pause while things happen, but while something will go. Yeah, right. It's in your buffer. So, so when you're, when you are buffering, what that means is that things are being accumulated in your buffer. Yeah. In your computer.

Sure, yeah. It's like a mouth capacitor. Yes, exactly. Except that a capacitor releases it all at one go. Not necessarily. No, okay, great. If you've got a resistance in there, it releases it slowly. Oh, there you go.

I was never able to do circuits stuff. And also, we bring up capacitors so much, assuming that people just understand how capacitors work. And we don't, I just say that way. And I don't understand clearly. But I hope somebody does. Because a capacitor is got, is it in some way a like a proto battery? Mm.

But without without that there being a chemical reaction in there. Yeah, the lighting job was actually the it was the first electricity storage device and it was a form of capacity. And they think that maybe early man might have had a laser job. Yeah, I've seen some shit like this. This is crazy. Yeah. Like maybe early man might have had a late in the jar of some shit like this is crazy. Yeah Like real early man like kind of like somewhere in the Middle East where they found some jar where they're like there's a

Possibility that this thing may have produced light or something like that because you spark so yeah Lighter sparks. All right, interbeard Intermediate in about it. I mean All right. Interbeard. Intermount. Interbit. Intermounted. All right. Well, one, two, three, four, five. Yep, great. So then we got three words from a listener. And I don't know if you know this,

but sometimes we have listeners, and they can, you know, they sign up to our Patreon. They can submit three words that inspire us to create a sketch. Love that about that. And recently, a listener called Crud or K-Rud. Yes. Right?

Who I believe lives in camera. I hope I'm not doxing them too much. It is Kevin Rudd. It could be Kevin Rudd. We are pretty sure it's Kevin Rudd, who actually is a very wonderful and active participant in the Two and a Think Tank Discord, which you can find and active participant in the two-and-a-thing tank discord, which you can find a link to in the notes,

and is constantly posting stuff about whales. Whale facts, whale information. An even interesting, even speculative whale information. Which I love that that is part of the, in the universe of whale information, speculative whale information has its place. It's welcome there. It's a beautiful aspect of the,

to anything, discord, going and have a look. You know, people showing up, saying hi, discussing things. It's a wonderful, it's a wonderful space of where away from the troubles of the world, the horrors of the, you know, regular existence. It's a kind of a utopia. Anyway, so, Krud, or K-Rud, has given us three words, Andy. Would you, and, and, and, which they said was inspired by a booze, a booze riddled enjoyment of the pop test,

our next season, second season has just come out. God, I mean, that sentence was worth waiting for, Alistair. Yeah. Hard though it was to get out there. Yeah, there's a new season of the pop test, which is slowly filtering out. Two episodes currently, three new episodes currently available in this season. Um, yeah, there's a new season of the pop test, which is slowly filtering out two episodes currently three new episodes currently available in this season.

Elements, flight and the other one. The other one. Yes. And of course, heating, heating, the topic that just made us laugh every time we told ourselves or anybody else that we were doing topic on the heating, the science of heating things up, not really a science topic in some ways, but in other ways. But I think we nailed the science aspect of it. We found some in there.

Yeah. So going down, look at that, because the more you listen to it, and get everybody, you know, to listen to it, the more chances there are of being continued work for us. Third season. It's extremely hard work that stresses us out and takes a very long time, but we love it and we need it. Somehow we're getting busier and less successful as time goes on.

And so that's not true. No, no, no, no. That's not true. There are marginal gains in our level of success. Absolutely, no, no, absolutely. And this is a wonderful thing. Anyway, so K-Rud or Rudd, or K-Rudd has sent in three words, Andy, which do you want to guess what the first word is?

Okay, so if it's a based on the pop test, okay, I guess the first word is probably science. Incorrect. Incorrect. The first word is inject. Inject. I ball. Unfortunately Andy, that is also incorrect. The second word is interject. Inject? Interject? In fact. You are close, but unfortunately the third word is eject. I see.

Inject? Interject. Interject. Aject. Eject. inject, interject, inject. So there's inject, which is putting something inside, squirting, squirting. Yeah, inject. It's just squirting. Yeah, I can't think of a, I mean, you can inject your opinion or inject your creativity into a project, but really, let's be honest, you're squirting your creativity into the project.

Absolutely. You are an inter-people's sort of sensory organs. Now, do you think that we- Inter-object. Do you think that we would have better success in convincing people to get vaccinations? If instead of talking about injections, we talked about squirting. Sure. You know, a squirter. If it wasn't a syringe, it was a squirter.

Yeah. And instead of going to get your injections, you're going to get your squirts. Yeah, you're in, oh yeah, injections. It's okay. so it already is injections Hmm, and then but if you got your inner arm squirts inner arm squirts. Yeah, so does it help you or or or Hinder your idea knowing that people also call diarrhea the squirt No, I think we'll have to readame that to the ejection. Yeah, okay, the ejection.

So it's like it's like the, it's trying to escape your body, which I think is probably what it's. I think what medicine should do is all medicine should buy up the rights to the word squirts. And now we're not gonna be able to use the word squirts for anything else. You can't print it on T-shirt.

No. It's like things like I got the squirts and let that anymore without getting paying licensing fees. To medicine. To medicine. Yeah. The body. And now they're using that word just for injections

to try and make it seem less threatening, right? Because I think the great thing about the word squirts is it doesn't feel too medical, right? And I think it feels like something you would see on a sort of like a... A t-shirt about diarrhea. Yeah, or, you know, a porn hub or something like that. Yeah, exactly.

And so it already has very positive connotations for a lot of people in that regard. And so a squirter becomes somebody who either is fully vaxed or is gives injection. Yeah, squirty. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You're right. You're a squirty or you get squirted. They squirted. On. Look, how are you feeling about this, Elis?

I think it's a great idea. We still got to get interjecting there, you know, but I guess it would be quite an intrusive thing in people's lives. Yeah, it is change. That the body of medicine would have done this. And so do we have to establish? Maybe it's not the body of medicine. Maybe it's part of the pandemic response and in their desperation to get more people

to get their booster shots, the state government of Victoria and chief health officer Brett Sutton starts trying to put this out there. Yeah, because governments have been given, you know, strange powers, do have strange powers in emergency like this. The meaning of words now. Yeah, and so. They can commandeer words in the English language for the uses of the state. I think the great part of this would be the point, the point when people who are upset with everything that the government does

in response to the pandemic, start, start arguing that to me, squirt means diarrhea, or somebody who is, has a vagina or something like that, expelling liquid from there that isn't pee. Mm. Mm.

Colby, old fashioned. I'm a simple, I'm a simple man. You can't use your Orwellian double speak. Ha ha ha. To make me think that's squared. It used to be a beautiful word. That meant something coming from a lower orifice at some point, liquidy though, not pee, except for pee. Anyway, Karad, I hope that's what you were hoping for.

Speaking of the pop test, Alistair, we actually have a meeting in four minutes. Holy get to. Shroomoli, okay. We're estimating. So we can have more things to do on this the busiest day of our lives. Okay.

And I thought that was on Wednesday, but I must be looking at, okay? Look, it's possible that the update that was on my watches is out of date. It's okay, but we better wrap it up. B-d-d-d-d-d. You got to read to each other. Okay, two and a think tank, 3.22.

Lord of the Rings is the opposite of basketball. It's good stuff. You throw a ring into the ball, to a ball, they're all short. And they are allowed to walk while carrying it. That's right. For a really long time. Really long time. Actually, they doesn't seem like they ever dribble the ring.

A die. A bit in. Then there's a lung worm for men who don't want to wear masks. That's a worm that eats stuff in your lungs and then farts it all out so you can breathe out the bad stuff. And you're just breathing out thoughts. The RC Cola story. I'd like to secure people who come from the RC Cola Empire.

It's a uniquely Australian story. Yeah, it's an Australian... I think I've heard the Simpsons reference RC Cola. Unless it's a real Australian success story. No, all the more reason to make a movie about it. Then we've got a fast eating food. Slipery, falls apart. Four Texas. Mmm, I don't think I like that.

It's got a little speed writing on the packet. Oh yeah. Oh, and then they can have like, they can release new products. They're even fast. Yeah, exactly. Rapid. Some what one that's even like maybe even like rocket boosted,

you know, it's like actually has fire on it. Wow. Because a lot of fire, flumb Bay and stuff like that is on top of the food, pushing it down. Mmm. But we want it in the back of the food, propelling it into the throat. Maybe a room temperature fire. Yeah, you know, and maybe maybe you try a lot of this stuff in there might disagree with you.

You're going to try and vomit it up. Well, this has actually, it's got more power than the standard peristalsus vomit. Absolutely. So it's able to force itself, continue to force itself down. You'll throw it. Okay. And throw the digestive system.

Even as your body tries to... Yeah, reject it. Drive it out. That's right. That's what it needs. It's got, it's got, it's the opposite of it, escape velocity. It's inject velocity.

That's right. Then we got the inner mouth beard within all its benefits. And then we've got squirt taken for vaccine response. And here we go. Bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap but I'm gonna, but I'm gonna, but I'm gonna, but I'm gonna, but I'm gonna, but I'm gonna, but I'm gonna, but I'm gonna, but I'm gonna, but I'm gonna, but I'm gonna, but I'm gonna, but I'm gonna, but I'm gonna, but I'm gonna, but I'm gonna, but I'm gonna, but I'm gonna, but I'm gonna, but I'm gonna, but I'm gonna, but I'm gonna, but I'm gonna, but I'm gonna, but I'm gonna, but I'm gonna, but I'm gonna, but I'm gonna, but I'm gonna, but I'm gonna, but I'm gonna, but I'm gonna, but I'm gonna, but I'm gonna, but I'm gonna, but I'm gonna, but I'm gonna, but I'm gonna, but I'm gonna, but I'm gonna, but I'm gonna, but I'm gonna, but I'm gonna, but I'm gonna, but I'm gonna, but I'm gonna, but I'm gonna, but I'm gonna, but I'm gonna, but I'm gonna, but I'm gonna about my client is innocent as well. Oh, thanks. We're doing teleport again at the end of this month, the 23rd to 25th and the 27th of February. I don't know if we've sold any tickets because we didn't promote it at all. Yes. So that's coming up.

And then this weekend, we're doing comedy-ish at the comedy republic. That's right, which is on Sunday. A proto version of my client is innocent. It's going to be so rough. It's going to be rough, but we're going to be as the lawyers. The lawyers. And listen to the pop test. Yes. Get those numbers up. Oh, yes. If you've got multiple devices in your

download them on all of them, download all of them. Thank you very much for listening. We appreciate you as an audience. You are not just numbers to us. We are sorry. Everything. You're everything. You're everything. Thank you so much. Take care of yourselves. Have a really great life. And we love you. This holiday season, give the gift of glow with Ocea's limited edition Super Glow

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