Simple Swedish Podcast - 324 - "LOGAN 2"

Episode Date: February 22, 2022

Get Tickets to TELEPORT, 3 nights only (Feb 23-27), at Fringe Rebound HERE (please)Tickets are also available to "My" "Client" "Is" "Innocent" at MICF from the end of MarchSketches TBCYou can support the pod by chipping in to our patreon here (thank you!)Listen and subscribe to THE POP TEST on Radio National or as a PodcastJoin the other TITTT scholars on the TITTT discord server hereGet Magma here: https://sospresents.com/programs/magmaHey, why not listen to Al's meditation/comedy podcast ShusherDon't forget TITTT Merch is now available on Red Bubble. Head over here and grab yourselves some material objectsYou can find us on twitter at @twointankAndy Matthews: @stupidoldandyAlasdair Tremblay-Birchall: @alasdairtb and instaAnd you can find us on the Facebook right hereThanks Classic to George for producing this episode. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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It's got to repeat it. It could have repeated. I could have been working on, you know, like the cycle of Haley's comet. Who knows when it would have come back around. I couldn't wait to find out if you were going to be like Haley's comet or like pie. And I'd just be waiting, looking for a pattern.

And so I apologize. By the way, people are excited. You think so? You think there's a lot of buzz about today's episode? A huge amount of buzz. And let's do it. And since we're releasing this episode probably tomorrow, that means that you can still see all three of our teleport shows. That's right. It'll come out on Wednesday, the 27th of Feb. 2022. No, sorry. Sorry.

Let me say this again. It's Wednesday, the 23rd of Feb, Friday, the 25th, and the Sunday, the 27th. Tickets could be selling better. Just come. Just come. Figure it out. Look, you know what? I'm ready to. If you're in the Melbourne area. Melbourne area.

Then, you know, we would absolutely love you to come along to our on-course season of Teleport, which is a show that we love and has gone well and people have enjoyed and told us they enjoyed. We've had people want to give us a hug afterwards and not because they felt sorry for us because they wanted to be A part of the the joy if they wanted to feel that and we said no, thank you. No, yeah But so yeah, you do come make make other people come make him come after work make him come after school It's a really convenient time for coming after a day's work. It's like eight o'clock.

Is it okay? Well, that's not as convenient. I mean, but it is after a day's work. Yeah. You know, they could be less convenient times. That's true. Yeah, and I mean, you're referring to my client as innocent.

My client is innocent. Which we'll be starting at the end of March. And those will be all at 6 p.m. And, you know, feel free to also start buying tickets for those, because- Feel free. We don't want you to feel constrained in any way. We want true freedom, true freedom

to start buying tickets to those. We justify to our partners all the time that we spend away from our families and responsibilities to do these shows. And at every ticket you don't buy is a nail in the coffin of our functional relationships. So anyway, no pressure. But it helps if it brings in money. Yes, we want you to know that it's not just our emotions writing on this, there's a

lot of very good people. If anything our our emotions don't matter at all in this. That's a look That's one thing that you learn isn't it? That's a big part of growing up Like nobody cares and nobody should care exactly. Why would we and so and there's a sketch in that well This is something that I wanted to bring up well, you know, maybe well No, no, I want to see what you're going to about to say. So you sound like you were heading somewhere. Well, this is unrelated, but like, you know,

I am very open to a pill for parents that shuts off your emotions that deadens you. Anyway, I'm sure we've already changed that. I think I was drinking that a lot during lockdowns and stuff. I had later off the later of that pill. Yeah. No, it comes with pills. No.

Pills, no. No idea. I'm open to this. So what would happen? So that means that not only so means that you wouldn't feel bad when something dramatic happens, like somebody vomits all over everywhere or somebody just actively does something on purpose to destroy one of the beloved things. One of the few things that helps the house run and that brings to comfort and joy to the

home. What would be the one of the beloved things? Well, since we got this couch, that is like a beloved thing. So somebody kind of like, just trying to like stand some juice up on the cushion. On the cushion. And then just allow it fall there or see milk or something like that. This is what I think should be taught at very early childhood education. Things like what's a good stable surface to put a cup on. That should be the equivalent of like,

that's the childcare equivalent of a master's degree. Absolutely, and also just that. And you are taking notes and you are studying that eight hours a day, and at the end of the year, that child has to write a thesis. Hmm. I mean, which liquid stink after a while? Yes, you know?

It's like, why is it bad to take the lid off your baby chino in the back of the car? Yeah. That's a, that's a, um, yeah, that's a whole, that's, that's, that's an elective. That's, yeah, that's 101. I mean, that's, you know, lids, this is a little, it's 101 in Lidlist drinks. Lids, lids are for a reason. reason. We have lids for a reason. And there's also even things like even though a cup is something that you has a straw and you sippy from it doesn't mean that it doesn't leak when you lay it down. You know, on the backseat of

a car. I mean, that was a learning curve for me as an adult. But like those people that you're envious of in stand-up comedy you started when they were 15, I wish I'd started learning that you can't just lay down bottles as a small child. Think how good I would be now at not laying down those bottles. So you'd be standing up everything.

Yeah. Standing up. Standing up. If I started standing up everything. Yeah, you know, standing up. Stand up. If I started standing up, standing up bottles. That's right. If I started standing up bottles, early childhood education. Yeah. I mean, it should be the ABCs.

Mm. Mm. The A stands for all the three hours. Okay. The three hours. Mm-hmm. Uh, uh, now, and remember, the great, or the three yards, okay? The three yards. Now, and remember, the great thing about the three yards is that they don't have to start with us. So the three yards bottles, cups, spillages.

Spillages. Oh, yes. The three yards. Remember, remember your cup, remember? Remember they can spell and Remember how angry daddy gets Not angry I mean just sad. Oh destroyed. I'm sorry. Don't worry daddy's not angry He's just very sad because of what you did

See daddy's not angry daddy's not angry. Yeah, he's just broken. He's a broken man The three can't be asked Three can't be asked If I were if you were Irish if we we had had stew who wants to appear on this podcast. Oh, man. Every time we bring it up, it feels very cruel. Oh, it's a sorry.

I think the thing about people who want to be on the podcast, and we want to have you on the podcast as well, the thing about that that you need to know is that we, it, it, it, it, how much of a challenge it is for us to get ourselves on the podcast. We're currently in a random office at the ABC before work in between. We're so tired. In between trying to relearn teleport, trying to do go to work, trying to do, we had to do an interview to just to promote the pop test. I mean, this nobody needs to hear this.

No, I know. Nobody needs to be told what big busy is. But what's exciting for people is that this is a different type of tiredness to what you're used to hearing on the podcast. That's right. This is early morning, early morning tiredness, which is a very different thing, you know. Yeah, and also just for, because I mentioned Stu's name, I may as well just say Stu is from the Pointless Reinvention

podcast, which is very funny. A fantastic podcast. And that's a way that I can pay back Stu for raising his name in vain. In vain. But I was gonna say, Stu, I believe, originates from the Irish country. Speak.

And the R in R's, what I reckon, you could start it with an R. That's right. It's probably just RSD in Ireland. I think you can put an R at the start of every word in the Irish language. Speaking of your name's in vain, and sorry to make this a pun, but I feel like there is a new frontier in body modification, a touchstone of this podcast. And, you know, and- So much touchstone, it's almost like the stone has been attached to your hand.

It's almost like touchstone, it's a stone that I have had him planned a dundaboyce kit. That I used to see whether or not things are, how they sound, when it gets by a start. There you go, but it's under my skin. So it hurts every time, every time, you know what, your pitch is just like,

it's like all green. It's like Wolverine, right? But for bruising. But with, you can, you push it out of your skin every single time. But it then heals over. Oh, that's great. So every time you push it out, a whole rounded stone. It's full of tears, it's why he threw.

No slicing here. No slicing. No sharp edges. I mean, this makes Wolverine look like a pussy. There's this tears through and then heals at the normal rate. Stone Vareem. Do you think this is awful? I'm really sorry I'm saying this, but Wolverine, because he has that healing ability, do you think he has a really tight butthole? Because say that over the course of your life, your butthole gets a bit stretched and loose from all the pooing or whatever it else it is that you

do with your butthole. His would heal again every time, every poo would be like his first ever poo. He would be like his first poo. That's all I'm saying. Yeah, you think you might have a baby's butt hole. I think you might have a baby's butt hole. He's trying to do full size man-poo's. I mean, it looks like he eats a lot of bread meat. You know, it would be... It's sad in a way that Stanley is dead that we can't... God, I address this directly.

Let's ask him directly. In a way it's sad. We've finally found a way in which it's sad sadly is dead yeah I mean I'd love to you know that he doesn't get to appear in the movie that addresses this issue I mean I didn't I you know what I never saw Logan talk about it in there it was sort of a great it was and was critically acclaimed. Maybe the reason that it was so widely well-opened as they finally addressed this is this a sketch idea.

I think it's a great question to ask to a politician, maybe Bernie Sanders at a press conference. Or could we email it to Noam Chomsky? Because he does seem to reply to some people's emails. That's good, yeah. Who would be? I feel like Noam Chomsky is the Stanley of ideas of. Politics.

Thought of. Political thought. Political thought. Let's see. Yeah, I mean, I can see that. Old. Yeah, old. He always says.

He is. Hello true believers. Yes, that's right, Excel CEO. But he goes. hello true believers. Yes, that's right, Excel CEO. But he goes, hello true believers. That's the thing that today, when we talk about these things, is that no? Everything says that was a whisper. His voice is slowly, it's becoming a ghost.

Oh, he's fading it out like an old song. Like a new, like a new Chomsky. Mm-hmm. Well, he's the only Chomsky. Oh, he's the only Chomsky. I don't know how I feel about this, but do you find, Alistair, that when you go to somebody else's house, you try to get a compliment from their mum? I did, and what I was in your three. Yeah, well I still do that. If I go to somebody's parents' house, you better believe I am not going until I have got a compliment from their mum about how good a boy I am

or how nice I am or something like that. So you're gonna offer to do the dishes? Yeah, that kind of shit, right? And I'm gonna get this compliment in front of you as well or whoever the person is, right? So I'm gonna make your mum say what a good boy I am in front of you. And you know what, for an icing on the cake,

I'm going for a, you could learn a lot from him. Yeah, you're actually not going for that. I'm going for that. That's what I'm aiming for. You know, Babe Ruth, I'm pointing at the sign or whatever. Every house that you go into. Every house of a woman who has children. Yeah, that's right.

And this is, I feel this is my way, my form, this is the, this is the, the beaters cuck. This is what I'm going to do. You might be an alpha, but I'm, and you think I'm an alpha? Well, whoever I'm talking to in this scenario, I realize I'm talking to you and pointing at you at the moment. But I mean, you go to a lot of Alfa's mom's house. You might be upstairs having

sex with my beloved, but I'm downstairs getting complimented by your mom and called a very nice boy. Yeah, I think I think that that is in many ways a much a much better defeat before defeating somebody that actually having sex with their mom unless you're up there trying to fill a hole. It's not that's it. From your child, in some way, you never got what you wanted from your mom. So you're doing that by making love to other people's beloved. Yeah, I mean, obviously we both did get what we wanted from our mum, of course, which was the love and attention that we, exactly. This is the hybrid.

But this is a little, yeah, but this is a little something on the side, you know, it's, you can't, that's the thing is that you can only get so much love and acceptance from your mom. Once they accept you, that's what is there. Yeah, it's either a pass or a fail. But they get acceptance from every person's mom. That's suddenly your stack and acceptance speeches. Yeah, and then to see your friend decimated and tell her they're wrong. Cause that's like removing acceptance

from someone else, which is another form of acceptance for you. Yeah, I mean, that's real power. Yeah. That, um, oh, such a nice boy. Yeah. So anyway, um, that's, anyway, that's who I am. That's my truth. Yeah. Well, I started doing that in you through, I think I remember the family, then I started being very polite in front of and I was like, and it somehow shaped, I think, like, I've been trying to figure out why I Try to be like polite and have this thing about being liked Which you know, I think doesn't always work on isn't great on stage because suddenly soon things aren't going well And then you set the crumble And it's like what does this need to be liked? What does this need you know, so Maybe it goes back to to other people's moms.

It's arrogant. That's it. Yeah. It's formed there in the kitchen. But then what is it that I could then lose my friends if I didn't, if I wasn't liked, that the mom would be like, I don't want you hanging out with that boy. Like, it sounds like something your mom would say. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, you're not going to hang out with that boy anymore. It sounds like something your mom would say. Yeah. Or you're not going to hang out with that boy anymore. I don't know. I don't know your mom that well.

No, that's the, you know, that's a very, that's an eye-map. But that would, you know, that would happen behind your back. You're very, very unlikely with that would happen. But you'd feel the effect. To your face. Yeah. Yeah, maybe don't tell your kids about, about, I don't want you hanging out with that boy's, that idea, you know, that people can say that.

Because then suddenly they'll see evidence of it everywhere. There's so many boys that you're not hanging out with at any given point. What do you think is the oldest you've been when someone has said that to you from your family? I mean, I don't know if I've ever been told that explicitly. Oh, you have been with regards to at least a girlfriend or that you could. Oh, that's true. Yes. Yeah. No, I I was definitely told I couldn't ask girls out. A girl. And then I took that to heart and I didn't

ask a girl out for a very, very long time. Oh, well, this is off the cards. Oh, maybe I'm not allowed to have a relationship and love. But you know, it's very helpful. It's very helpful, everything's fine. Yeah. I think on the other hand, I think my parents let me hang out with a, with lots of people who ended up

really hurting me. It was not in any way their fault. They wouldn't know. As we know, no, no, no, no. Your kids barely tell you anything. Well, you know, it's like anything. When you are a kid, you're just finding out where the walls are. You know, you just finding out where the walls are. You're finding out where the boundaries are. You're finding out what you can take, what your body can take, what you're finding out whether you can lie the bottle down on the ground. And it's the same, once you start having relationships with people outside of your family group,

you go through exactly the same thing. What are the boundaries here in this relationship? What can I do to this person? And then when they start crying and they're hollowed out inside, you're like, I've gone too far. There's an edge there. There's an edge. This person no longer can work socially with other people because of the things that I did. Okay. So the next time. The next person I hang out with.

Obviously, this one's a ride, though. This one's done. Yeah. Yeah, I do remember once being at a bus stop and saying to us, there was some people there, and then some other kids. And then I said, how come you're to some kid? I was like, whoa, how come your head is so out of proportion with your body?

Oh, whoa. And then the way that all their friends reacted made me realize that it was probably had something to do with an illness, something like that, and that also that people don't enjoy hearing that. No. I'm just asking questions. Spirit of inquiry. I mean, this is how the world progresses. So you don't know? Even scientists had never asked that. We wouldn't know about whatever illness it is that you have. And that's it.

But actually it turned out I was just talking to the bus stop sign. Yeah. And I learned a thing or two. Yeah. And that's it. And then you never think of the times that people have wronged you as being a time wronged you. Sounds very French or wronged you as being a time wrong due sounds very French or wrong due.

As being a time that they just learned about a new boundary, about a new place that you can't go. Boundary unlocked. There should be a little sound that plays. Like if you saw it in front of them. And it goes, and then up from there, breaking heart, and up and into your head. Yeah, that's right.

And if we had that augmented reality, stuff like that that could show you when somebody else learned something significant, you know, like some, because I mean, there are already, there's gonna be lessons that we're gonna know are important for people to know, right? And we can probably, at some point, recognize those when they appear in the brain.

Yes. And if we see then, and then we'll be able to learn by seeing other people have those experiences. How that experience you go, oh, what did he just learn? What was that thing? And you can click on the little lock and key. Yeah, correct. Let me go, he learned, oh, that's bad with you destroyed my whole being.

He actually learned something like interesting. That's really good. Oh, yeah, I guess I could learn that. Yeah, I suppose. I know I even a way I did as well, but you could destroy somebody's being by commenting on their appearance. Would you?

You know what? We'll become, if we do get some kind of neural link or something like that, you will be able to binge your piffonies. So you know how a piffonies were used to them coming out sort of being rolled out almost like that week by week model or like you know year by year, you know, over time. It's very unrealistic that you would get all your epiphanies one after another, but you will be able to download and binge those epiphanies in a night. I had... You go, I've just done... I'm sorry, I was up all night having breakthroughs. Well, I mean, you could just download the 90 years of meditating monk epiphanies.

Yeah. Right. And you could just download that pack and just like binge it in one night. Oh. Oh, yeah. Like lying on the floor drooling. It's like, oh, let's suffer.

It comes from yourself. We're eating cheetahs. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Did you eat junk food? Yeah. It comes from yourself. You're eating Cheetos. Exactly. You're just, yeah. Did you eat junk food? Yeah. You know, all.

In a bean bag. Yeah. In your underpants. Yeah. I quite like something a monk would do. Exactly. I mean, all that's missed, the only difference is the Cheeto dust.

I, That's why they have those orange robes. That's why. To the city of your life, the Cheeto dust. That's why they have those orange robes. That's right. To the Cibulae Cheeto dust. Of course, yeah, that's an icon. That's an icon of the show. It's not the word I wanted at all. It might be the showlin' to do that.

Is that the showlin'? It could be. It could be. You don't never see any showlin' in UFC or anything like that. What do you think they could be. You don't never see any Shaolin and UFC or anything like that. Well, they're, they're, they're saying, touchy. There is, there is a fight at Tai Chi fighting style

where they do actually fight within like boundaries. That's what it leads to. That's what Tai Chi goes. It's all about kind of like knocking somebody out of a circle and stuff like that. It's all about like pushing and pulling and understanding people's balance and stuff like that. I know I read a book where the guy was talking. He was an expert chess player.

I think it's called the Art of Learning. He was an expert chess player, but then somehow got into this Tai Chi world and became a champion at this Tai Chi fighting. Anyway, also this binging epiphany thing. American, that's what sometimes like smoking marijuana or something. You're like suddenly you're like, you have these epiphanys and then eventually you're like, I'm numb to epiphany, I don't care. It's like, oh yeah, there's another big insight. You can't believe people even value these.

But when you're not no longer high, do you remember those insights and do they still feel like insights or? Sometimes, yeah, some of the things like if you write stuff down, sometimes some of the stuff will be like, you go, I don't know why, what I thought, what else think in there. But then other times you'll be like, oh yeah, that feels like that's a big thing, you know? Like, yeah, I mean, can you remember any of you've had and would you like you would you care to share? No, I mean, I've been, you know, I think, I mean, this

one was one that I already knew, but the, but the magnitude of it hit me, where I had, this was a few years ago, I had had a little bit of weed and then I got hit with the intense realness of the, of the trunus of the reality that I am definitely going to die. And I went, it was like, and it hit me with like a chill down my spine and intense, but a stress and I was like, oh shit, I don't need to do drugs to have this bad a time. Well, I mean, that feels like that there's probably

a boundary in your brain that is there to actually keep that from you a lot of the time. And the drugs almost were like a DDoS attack on that firewall. I'd taken my raincoat off or whatever it was. And it was like, oh no, this isn't just something that happens to other people, which I think is what the raincoat is love the time. Because I don't know. As far as I can tell, it is only a thing that happens to other people.

Yeah. The evidence doesn't fly. It is overwhelming a thing that happens to other people. Yeah. Uh, the evidence doesn't fly and... It is overwhelming at the moment. Uh, I can tell. By the fact that I can tell. Mm, yes. And if I wasn't telling... It really showed me, just, it really showed me.

And it was like, I'm like... Ooh! Jack! That's a cult, now! I go, how far? How do I make... How. I go how far? How do I make how do I do something else? Yeah, I did a new okay? How do I go on? What's gonna be it's gonna be the little liar tell myself now to get things covered in the morning? What's gonna be the year? Oh? That my work will live on

Exactly. That's what I'll do. I'll draw some comics. Here we go. This guy. Oh, this guy is an elevator. Got a new bike. Oh, flat tire? No, it's brand new. That would be a good thing for, you know, modern, environmentally friendly buildings, but would be sort of elevator bicycles, you know, where you can ride up, you know, elevator bicycles. So there's a bicycle on the elevator and then you ride it and then it brings the elevator up. It brings the elevator up, or maybe it's sort of more like a loose bicycle, sort of hanging from some cables or that sort of thing. I feel like I've trimmed that.

And you get in there and you pedal up, you go. I don't know if you've seen that. I have seen that somewhere. Well, there you go, I invented it. Well, you didn't. Well, I mean, I did. Just because it's already there, doesn't mean I didn't invent it.

Okay. I'm definitely, I am definitely not copying that from some way because I have never seen that. And if you go and find it in a tweet and I've liked that tweet already, that was a different me, a different consciousness. That was another version of me from the treehouse bicycle. Grind hard plumbing co. Yeah, that'll be it. That's ringing a bell. Yeah, grind hard plumbing code. No, but this is it's like I think it's for people who make these houses that are like in the woods, but they're really high up and

I mean, I could show you right now. Yeah, all right. You show me. Come on. No, but this is not gonna be good for other people But if you want to see the video, it's called bicycle elevator version. Oh Well Version, that is exactly what I was thinking. Yeah If you want to see the video, it's called Bicycle Elevator version. Oh, wow. Version. That is exactly what I was thinking. Yeah. Oh, that looks really fucking sick. And that's all just built on one tree. Yeah.

I'm not even sure if it's on the tree or whether it's on a pole. I think that's on the tree. It gets built around one of them trees. This whole thing kind of looks a little bit. That's really cool. It's that getting on to the platform that seems a little tiny, a little bit dodgy once you're sort of... That's the bit that feels dodgy.

Well, I mean, you're getting onto this thing that... It's a cool looking tree house. I'm really excited to build a mad dog tree house. I've had our new place. They don't already have a treehouse there. They might even let the kids in. I might even let the kids have a go in there. That's fun. I love that.

Do you think we have enough stuff and then we should go to our three words from a listener? Yeah, I mean, we're only half an hour in, but I mean, this is good. I mean, okay, well, let's just do it because I mean, you know, we've been doing a little bit more like talking about our own lives, which I always assign

that we're kind of veering off from pure sketch. So my life is not pure sketch. No, one day Andy, one day. So today we have three words from Braden Douglas. Braden Douglas. Hello Braden Douglas. You. Thank you for submitting these words.

Yeah, for supporting us on Patreon Coming along to our shows coming along to our shows. Brighton lives in I don't think I should dox but Brighton lives far away. Yeah, yeah Can we say north of here north of here? Yeah, but let's not say where we are We're at the South Pole. You know what? Because I've started doing Twitch at Alistair TV sometimes. And so then people like Braden, and Stu, and Ellie, and Rory, and a bunch of others, Alex, and you know, have been appearing in in there and while I do various things, well, I try to figure out what the fuck I'm doing on there, right? Yeah. Anyway,

so I've been interacting with a lot of these people a lot recently. Anyway, what do you want to guess what? Braden's three words are. Yeah, nuclear tide. Oh, no, that's terribly far away. Definitely not. The first word is flippant. Did you think that in a way we invented wordle in the way that I just tried guess words and then you sometimes tell me how many of the letters I got corrected, whether they're in the right location? That's kind of correct. Yeah, I just tell you vowels that are in common.

Yeah, you're right. But we're just doing, this is more like word, word. That's right. And now what was, what was the first word? Flippent. Okay. Or flip ant. If you say, great. Well, the second word is tarapan.

I mean, it was, it's close in that it's an uncommon word that is kind of long. Yeah, okay, wordle, but the clues are just sort of cryptic responses. Yeah, really hard wordle. And it's like, you have a thing of 215 gases. Look, this is the time to launch one of these, if we want, okay, epididimus.

Flippent epididimus. Flippent epididimus, you tell me flippent epididimus. Flippent epididimus. Yeah. Flippent epididimus. Are you, are you, are you telling me, Flippent epididimus? Flippent epididimus. Okay. Epididimus. Epididimus.

It might be epididimus. And, okay. The last word is larynx. Uh, no. A gate. A gat. A gat. I think it's an agat.

How's that spelt? A-G-A-T-E. Agat. Agat, I think might be a type of rock. Really? Yeah, well, an agat would be a type of rock. Agat. Yeah, well, I don't know, that's what it isn't for us anyway.

I don't know. You an agat. Do you know what an epitodymus is? Is it a type of dinosaur? No, it's a series of small tubes that collects and stores sperm. Oh. Here we would have made it about dinosaurs.

Yeah. Now, is it, do you think that these dinosaurs? Dinosaur sticks. Dinosaur. And a gate. Just look at this. How often do we have to Google all the words? Yep. So it is a gate or a gatt is a common rock formation consisting of calcedoni, chalsidon, chalsidon, d'enni in

quartz and its primary components with a wide variety of colors. Well, it does feel like with two testicles. Yeah. It does, you know, and I'm not sure whether or not for a particular ejaculate whether the sperm comes from both testicles and is mixed. It feels like the sort of thing. It takes turns. It takes turns. It's one and the other.

Right. Yeah. I'm joking. Oh, okay. Well, I mean, that seems also plausible. You know, we only use one nostril at a time. Do we? I think so. Yeah, I don't see how that's possible.

You know, well, you know, they said it on QI. So that's how it's possible. That's how it's possible. That's how it's possible. That's how it's possible. And, but, you know, with those two testicles, it does feel like it's sort of a two-part epoxy or something like that, right? If you're mixing the two things, one's presumably the resin and one's presumably the hardener.

But you know, if you've got those two things there, it's no reason why you couldn't give one over to say glitter or some sort of small rocks or whatever. A propellant gas. A propellant gas. You know, why are we just mixing same like with like? Yeah, why are we mixing just liquids as well in there? I think if there was, say an aerosol, like a, you know, what's the one that you used to put in the fridges?

Ziclorofluorocab and CFCs. Because then also if you're the body could compress them and create coolness You could have them more up into the body But that's true. Have a cool and fluid in there. Yeah, you could just compress and then your whole other region would go cold That just clench. Yeah, well, I mean, I think this is something that we've talked about a little bit on the pop test, similar sort of thing where Greg Larsen suggested something in our episode about the structure of the earth. Well, the origin of the earth. It was about the intern, the inside of the earth. Yeah, the earth's interior. Yeah, that's right. And

that's right. Yeah, that's interior. Yeah, that's right. That's right. Yeah, that's right. Well, by the way, listen to the pop test as well. Because we need those numbers up. I'm so sorry. We're promoting so much stuff. We don't just want you for your numbers.

That's true. But if you do want to become a statistic. If you hate being a person and want to be a number. Okay, so what are we doing with these testicles here? Yeah, flippant. So flippant, obviously, meaning that we're not particularly serious about whatever it is that we're doing. Epidididimus is just a beautiful word to say.

It does, epidididimus does sound a little bit like, you're dropping a whole lot of squash bowls down a stairwell. You know what I'm thinking of. I'm thinking of, there's a series of pipes down there where the sperm are kind of either stored or have to go through before they can come out. The epididimus. Now, I like to think of that series of tubes as like a labyrinth. I like to think of that series of tubes as like a labyrinth. And evolution has evolved some kind of testicular minotaur that is in there to find the weak and dumb sperm, right? Because there's lots of challenges once the sperm gets into

the vagina to travel up to the cervix. There's actually a long journey that takes days to get find the egg and stuff like that, and that is supposed to kind of, you know, shed all the week and things like that. But there should be, there probably is a process beforehand to eliminate some of those from even getting there, right? And what they have to do is have to go through this labyrinth, avoid this minotaur or defeat it, and find the precious stone. Once they find the precious stone, then all the tubes kind of align into where they go, and then it allows you into the chamber of where you're wearing eventually, you will

be catapulted out into the sort of the canon, the piece of the canon. But it does also feel a bit more like there that this would happen within the sort of the reproductive canal of the recipient, right? And that, you know, presumably, to me, I imagine, a sort of a, sort of a, a wall mounted laser laser sort of picking off the sperm. This is inside the recipient. Chamber, yeah. Well, you know, whatever, yeah, yeah, yeah, great. You know, the person. Yeah.

So, but, but I mean, you don't think that there should be a minute or so. Oh, yeah. You know, a minute or is fun. Yeah. Something with these multiple challenges, right? Mm-hmm. I mean, you know, you, you understand, like, I guess the recipient does have their own challenge and that's, and that's their, they're filtering.

But don't we have some quality control? I would be not. Should we just be throwing us? I mean, you only have so much that you can ejaculate in one go. Right? And so if you didn't do any quality control, a leader could come out. And how much solid can you send out?

A much quality. Well, yeah, I mean, it is interesting that sperm counts are going down while the amount of other content that we produce without quality control is going up, you know, social media and TikToks podcasts, that kind of thing. We're putting that, you know, putting a lot more of that, reproducing ourselves in that way out into the world while, you know, it falls off elsewhere. And there's just a there's some sort of cosmic balance to output, you know, you're only allowed to put it output a certain amount of

Equality do you think there should be a minotaur to decide on whether if the podcast gets released or tweet or something like that They should be a little challenge. Sort of like, you know, I guess kind of like the idea, you know, like those people who have been known to drink and drive often have to breathe into a thing. Yeah, yeah. To. It's a good idea.

To, you know, to. I think it should be a minute or I think that your mobile phone, you know, at the moment, Alistair, you have a thing on your computer to stop you going to Twitter when you're trying to work. I think an alternative would be to put your mobile phone at the middle of a labyrinth. Yeah. And then you've got to defeat a minotaur, or at least avoid it. Or make it laugh.

Or make it laugh. Yeah. And then you can post a Twitter. Yeah. If the, if the, if the tweet is good enough to make the minute or laugh, it's actually a 55 year old man who's there and his arms are crossed and he's sitting in a chair with his arms and legs crossed.

And if you can get a chuckle out of him, then he'll stand up and he's been sitting on your phone. Okay, well that's the sketch idea. I mean, he's any, but I, you know, I also picture he's probably sitting on a big parlor phone. Sure. Yeah, you know, he's your phone for everyone at the office or whatever. And then you say he says which one's yours?

Straight. You say which one's yours? They're running this straight. You say, which one's your phone, you know? And you say, it's the one that says, bad motherfucker. What's that? Is that pulp fiction? Yeah, it's pulp fiction. It's the wallet that says bad motherfucker on it. It's good.

Where's the, where's the why go in labyrinth? The start? L-A-B-Y-L-A-L-A-B-I-R-Y-N-T-H. Yeah, right. So it's like, so it's the prefix labby. Yeah, guess. Labie. Labie. Labies. All right, I think we are done. We're in an hour. Yeah.

There's a lot more people coming to work outside this office than I don't know how many people can hear us talking about. Labies. I can't believe it. I mean, I can't believe it. I see Ella. Ella's speaking about testing. I know that he's seen somebody outside the office.

Yeah, it's also when I start hearing other people, I go, oh my god. We can hear them. Yeah. Wait a second. I'll take us through the sketch ideas. We've got the early childhood education based on spilling cups and balancing things like that It's just trying to try to get some important information to kids I mean I understand quite a tough sort of army drill sergeant there in the kindergarten

Shouting this stuff. Yeah, I mean, I also picture just those very soft early childhood education people But kind of like in their doing it through play but cold. you look this is actually really very you see how that actually kind of ruins your dad's count. Sure, your mom's. You know, your mom's and then they show you a picture of like a dad crying. Yeah, look at that. You see and and what's he doing? Who did that? Yeah, who did that? I did that just when I spilled the cup. Did not. I know you don't want to be silly like me. But, I don't see. Then we got bludgeon weapon, wolverine.

It's a stone under the skin, maybe of your palm that pushes through the skin. And then you've got this stone in your head that you can hit people over the headwinds. This is so far as he's always got a stud. You know, sometimes when you're walking home at night and you're like, it's really late and you're like, I don't know if it's safe. You can just pick up our rock. So somebody pulls up next to you to throw it in the front window hoping that somebody's not just getting dropped off by a new place.

I also think it would be great for the wiggles to, or an equivalent children's band to sing really passive aggressive but quite upbeat songs about spilling milk. All right. Where were we at? Then we got Wolverine's butthole, of course, that's the, that's probably Logan 2. Logan 2, Wolverine's. Just want to know. Young, not just want to know. Did we got getting that mom acceptance in front of her, there's some, the greatest cuck of all, the greatest cuck. I also suspect that, well, firstly, rule-vering, he must be uncircumcised, because presumably his foreskin would have just grown back.

Well, I know, but he could still have been, I think he would still be considered circumcised if they cut it at one point, but it grew back. It grew back, yeah. It grew back. It grew back. But then I wonder whether it would ever be able to stretch as required to accommodate as he grows. Or if it would just have a really, really tight little fall skin. Yeah.

I guess he didn't mention whether or not he has baby skin. Do you think when a hair pierces through his skin to get out? That that hole should then close and give him endless Ingrown hairs Somebody's gonna look into this. I guess it depends on whether the body sees a hair going through your skin as damage Yeah, yeah, you know, I mean if he developed if he developed like You know rheumatoid arthritis or something like that, that is essentially the body, the body's immune system and stuff like that overreacting. Now that's not damn it, that's the body's system.

You're doing that. Yeah, it is overreacting. So he probably would have unbelievably bad arthritis because his immune system would not only overreact, but overreact way quicker, like, you know, a hundred times quicker than a regular human. He would, his hips. He's a bloody civil war in there. Oh, yeah.

Then we got augmented reality for learning stuff and binging epiphany. And also you could just be like, oh, well, these are all the things that need to be done. You could learn something in front of somebody. All the different philosophies would have their own streaming service. Exactly.

And you could probably learn everything within the 30 day free trial period. If you can focus, you know, probably, you know, this probably philosophy ones, though, they probably would teach you not to watch streaming services. Yeah, but from the point what they probably just wouldn't put that one or they'd leave that until later, that's not available in the free free trial You know if they've if they've got any business sense These so fists yeah, these people who study these if they've got any business sense these people who studied philosophy Then we got the labyrinth to tweet you got to make a 55 year old man

Who is grumpy and has his arms crossed. Yeah, although, you know, sometimes I wonder about the kind of stuff that those people do find funny on Twitter. Fucking Australian political memes are the worst, the worst shit. They make me physically depressed. That's the dream, that's the dream ending. And that's it. B-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E Thank you so much for listening to the thing Tank We Like that you did that thing to it and us and of and of and and and remember that you can book tickets to Teleport all this week not all this week but most some of this week if you just Google fringely bound yeah teleport for a free

band or Andy link is in the show notes link is in the show notes. And, you know, coming up in at the end of next month, there is, my client is innocent at the Comedy Festival Allister and I just got back from a writing weekend where we were working on that show and we had some good times, wrote some funny jokes. Yeah. And they're all in the first five minutes, so it's worth it just for that. Just come for that if you don't have time. That's right. But thank you very much. Take care of yourselves and each other and Jerry Springer.

We love you. But do do. Hi icons. It's Danny Pellegrino from the Pop Culture Podcast, everything iconic, and I love Nordstrom. No place better to shop, particularly during the holiday season, because they have everything. They have holiday decor at Nordstrom. They have cozy cardigans from barefoot dreams, my fave. They have cold weather attire, party attire, plus free shipping and free returns.

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