Two In The Think Tank - 340 - "FOIL THE MOYLE"

Episode Date: June 29, 2022

Support top listener Sebastian Weissbach's first feature film STUTTER hereSKETCHES TBCThere is STILL TIME to see Jack "JD" Drucey Druce's show taping - Buy tickets to his comedy special taping he...re and check out his youtube sketches herePlease purchase Andy's book with Peader Thomas - Gustav and Henri Volume 1Listen and subscribe to THE POP TEST on Radio National or as a PodcastYou can support the pod by chipping in to our patreon here (thank you!)Join the other TITTT scholars on the TITTT discord server hereGet Magma here: https://sospresents.com/programs/magmaHey, why not listen to Al's meditation/comedy podcast ShusherDon't forget TITTT Merch is now available on Red Bubble. Head over here and grab yourselves some material objectsYou can find us on twitter at @twointankAndy Matthews: @stupidoldandyAlasdair Tremblay-Birchall: @alasdairtb and instaAnd you can find us on the Facebook right hereSparkling spring thanks to George for producing this episode Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Starting point is 00:00:29 coming up short coming coming up short coming up we come up with five sketch ideas. I'm Andy. And I'm AJ Johnson from Labour. I hate it. I hate it. Yeah. Yeah, that's OK. But I do, you know, as we established on last week's episode with Jack.
Starting point is 00:01:02 With Jack Truss. I do love a nickname that is just a pair of initials. I think it's really cool. I think it's the coolest kind of nickname. You're actually an AJ. I am an AJ. Oh my God, you're AJ Matthews. Andy James, AJ Matthews.
Starting point is 00:01:18 You think? That's my nickname. Yeah. My nickname is my full name and my initials. Yeah, right. Ininverted commas. What about AJ Andy James in inverted commas Matthews? Yeah, that's interesting.
Starting point is 00:01:33 Or AJ Andy AJ James Matthews. Yeah, okay, great. Now the listeners couldn't see the inverted commas in that one, but I'll let them imagine it. Yeah, I'm sure they could hear them. He's got very, he's got very audible inverted commas that's one of the things that I think about you. They were, what's a word that would mean audible,
Starting point is 00:01:59 but it also sounds like he attested. I love when you set these little challenges. Yeah, well there's something you would love. No, it is. I love this shit. It's a real 12 mental challenges of Hercules kind of. Yeah, yeah. It's like it's like invert to invert plant amplify.
Starting point is 00:02:22 Yeah, I think you've done it. And I made the energy of mistake. To fly. You know, I think it is a shame that the 12 tasks of Hercules, they were mostly physical, you know. And I think there weren't enough that respect the other ways in which a man, I think they feed into this sort of toxic masculinity
Starting point is 00:02:45 That you need to be was one kill look like the thing the hydra yeah, yeah Are these sort of like the three temptations of Jesus? He did have to kill a hydra. I'm pretty sure Jesus no he had to avoid killing a hydra because it was so tempting to do it That's right. It was a God. Because then you're like, oh, something that you could just keep killing over and over. Now I know that we've had a lot of genital stuff on the podcast recently, but what about this?
Starting point is 00:03:16 A hydra, but it's the penis that if you cut it off, it regrows with two penises. And then you cut those penises off and those regrow each two penises where the other penis had been until there's a sort of a... It's a why are you cutting it off? Why are you cutting it off? Absolutely, we're right idea. So no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
Starting point is 00:03:39 no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, instead of hercules, it's a boil. Ah, trying to circumcise the hydra. Yeah, trying to circumcise the penis. And then two four skins grow. That's really good.
Starting point is 00:03:54 Now, do you picture the four skins growing having two tips or do you think it's just a four skin and then another skin grows over the top and so it keeps getting thicker. You think you're in thicker, obviously, a lot. No so it gets, keeps getting thicker. And thicker, obviously a lot. No, I think two new tips grow. Okay. I think to keep it visually speaking, and conceptually the easiest to grasp. And I think then, it's like you've got two nozzles
Starting point is 00:04:21 for the urination purposes. And I think, if, and I'm not sure if this is part of the logic, but if part of the logic you've cutting off the foreskin is that it makes it easier to sort of control the end of your penis, then by growing two more in that way, that's really is foiling the objective of the boil. foiling the objective of the boil. If that makes sense. Foil the boil? For the boil.
Starting point is 00:04:47 For the boil. Oh, for the boil. This is a great, great game show. It's called, foil the boil, right? And what it is, is we have a whole lot of different, possibly penises poking through holes, okay? But what we've done is we've got the world's best prosthetic artists to try and make fake penises and the oil has to circumcise the one that they think is the real penis.
Starting point is 00:05:15 And depending on whether or not there's a scream from the other side. From the baby? Well, I think these are probably grown men. No. No? I mean, I suppose it could be. I think it might be. Might be, I'm not sure, but it might be unethical
Starting point is 00:05:33 if we do it with a baby. And it would be completely fine if he, not genetically, if he generously mutilates a grown man. Well, at least they can go into it knowing what they're, and it's not a, oh, this is good. It's not a glory hole, it's a gory hole. So, isn't that good? So, I think we can get this picked up
Starting point is 00:05:54 probably by Channel 10's Pilot Week. Yeah, yeah, well, I mean, I do, look, I mean, I like, I'm gonna already write down foil the moils. foil the moils. To foil someone, is it the same foil as sort of aluminum foil? Yeah, it is. Yeah. What about foil? How do you spell that? I wouldn't know. MOYLE? It's a great word to say. It's a shame it got used for such an alcohol at least obscure profession. And not really in English, it's probably a...
Starting point is 00:06:31 Yiddish word? Yiddish word? Yeah. The Hydra, Moil. What's the circumcise? But I think, you know, maybe, maybe, Moils, I think Moils would be, you know, maybe, maybe, I think boils would be, you know, they'd probably be clamoring to get on this show because it would increase the visibility of the profession.
Starting point is 00:06:53 And especially while probably, you know, maybe circumcises, circumcisions are going down. Yeah. And I think, you know, it would definitely increase the visibility of penises on television, because there's just not that many. And this one would have heaps. It could be great advertising for penises.
Starting point is 00:07:13 Yeah. To think that penises have had the success that they've had without any TV exposure. Well, it's Word of mouth. Hey, yeah. Word of mouth. It's good, ending. Is it? Well, I mean, it's one of those ones where it would be better if this wasn't about penises. Yeah. Because of the, you know, the amount of stuff that's happened, you know, comedy that's happened around penises that almost any joke feels not
Starting point is 00:07:47 as good as it could. Well, I think what the difference is going to be is that, you know, with comedy, penises are, you know, they're alluded to, you know, and it's the fact that, you know, they're not seen, you know, but you can talk about it hypothetically. Whereas I think on this show, because the penises are so visible, I think that... I'll just... You picture there'll be... it's going to be a comedy.
Starting point is 00:08:18 I think there'd be elements of comedy. Yeah. I mean, I could be wrong. elements of comedy. Yeah. I mean, I could be wrong. Yeah, that's fun. Could be one of those game serious game shows. Do you picture the whole ball bag and pubes are coming through as well? Or do you picture a little tube, not like a tube, but like a tiny hole that someone almost
Starting point is 00:08:45 would have to like push it through. Yeah, I think you've got to see a bit more to give the prosthetic artists, because this is much about them as it is about the moil, right? The prosthetic artists who are making the fake penises. Yeah. I know what it would be. They're going to be out there sitting on a panel nervously. I think having to make hair, you just source real hair makes it somehow an extra level
Starting point is 00:09:14 of difficulty. Well maybe that's round two. Sure, round two. Which ones are real pubes? I mean, yeah, there could be one where the the oil is blindfolded. Really? And he just feels around. He feels them. Yeah. I think someone who just puts it in his mouth. Yeah. That's
Starting point is 00:09:39 that's right. All right. I feel like we can finish it here. I mean, foil the moil. Yeah, okay. I think probably I was being unfair with what I said earlier about the challenges of Hercules, because he did always sort of,
Starting point is 00:09:54 I think come up with an intellectual solution to what was a physical challenge? Fiscal challenge. And a fiscal challenge indeed. He didn't have the financial resources to get him through this. Which would be the tough part. Feeding a guy like Hercules who has unbelievable strength
Starting point is 00:10:13 like that probably needs an unbelievable amount of food. See, the team, you know, I think Hercules would have been a great spokesperson for some sort of, you know, team management software like Monday. Doncom or whatever that one is that's always advertising before YouTube. He's got 12 tasks to get done. I get those, but nobody I know gets them. So the first person that I know, I've asked people, do you know about Monday.com and then
Starting point is 00:10:37 only you and Evan who actually pays for scheduling things and stuff like that? Well, they're homing in on him. Yeah. And I think they think that I'm gonna fall for it. A lot of things are like, do you have procrastination problems? I go, yeah, absolutely do. And I could not imagine a piece of software that I will never open working.
Starting point is 00:11:01 Cause you gotta open it before it works, right? And they don't care at that point. No, they've got your money. Yeah, I mean, I do consistently buy new sort of to-do list programs. Do you really? Yeah. Buy them?
Starting point is 00:11:14 Yeah, I pay for them on like as an app, I download an app or something. No way, I fall for it. Like this is gonna be the one, this is gonna be the one that for some reason I start using. Look at what my thing is right now. Look at this.
Starting point is 00:11:24 Right? This is now how my phone is. It's just got four apps that are written down in words. Wow. Like that. Is that all you have on your phone? No, I still have all of my apps there. Okay. But I can only access them by going up like this. And I can either go through the list or I can type them in. Just as text. Yeah. And it's just, you know, just to remove that little element of like the picture or the notification looks really good.
Starting point is 00:11:50 I mean, I still get notifications as well. Yeah, you see the notification, you're like, she's that looks so good. Yeah. Little, the little temptress. Is that one of the temptations of Christ? Oh, just, yeah. You've got a letter here.
Starting point is 00:12:04 You never had these in Australia as far as I know. Like, but anyone else in Canada, Yeah, you've got a letter here. You never had these in Australia as far as I know, but anyone else in Canada, I remember my dad getting letters that were like, you are close to winning the sweepstake. Oh yeah, no, we got those. Yeah, you may have already won. You may have already won the sweepstake. Yeah. And you get those letters and then you could may have already won this sweepstakes. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:12:25 And you get those letters and then you could open it up and then you would fill something else out and then send that off or something. And I don't understand what their model was. I don't know if he was ever sending money. We had a somebody who sent us five cents sticky tape to a letter. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:12:43 And the letter was basically, I'm a psychic and I have had a vision of you coming into a huge amount of money. And I wanted to let you know, and I expect nothing in return. If you get in touch, I'll let you know the lottery numbers or whatever. And this five cents is a token of my sincerity or hopefully proves to you. And like, what's the model there? Well, that was, if you get in touch, if you get in touch, I'll tell you the numbers, then now you're paying for their services.
Starting point is 00:13:18 Yeah, well, I mean, maybe not. Well, they said that they wouldn't expect any money in return. But like, what if, okay, so I think the logic there, I could be wrong. I think the logic there is I, it costs X amount of dollars to buy a lottery ticket. Right. But what I could do is I could use that money to send a hundred letters to people telling them that I've guessed their lottery numbers. Right.
Starting point is 00:13:46 to people telling them that I've guessed their lottery numbers, right? Then if Half of those people get in touch, right? I have a then they'll presumably feel obligated to get There might be a mathematics there to make that well, I think it's just promo For your for your psychic services? Yeah, yeah. So, you know, it's like the first sample is free, right? Let's say you call them up. You call them up and they give you some numbers for free. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:14:13 Let's say that somehow works out for you, right? Do you think you're gonna just stop playing the lotto? Sure. And like, and then using this resource here. So they rely on people winning the lotto with the numbers that they tell them. They might not win the big one. Right. They might just win 50 bucks. Oh yeah sure. You know they might and they just need something to be tricked them into thinking that and that's all the brain does is just full for tricks. Fall for tricks. That's all it's designed to do, right?
Starting point is 00:14:46 It's just a real sucker. Yeah, and so then suddenly you're like, oh, you know, even if something, maybe something good happens to you on the way to the lotto thing. You get there and there's just this big banana chair out on the front, and you go, you guys throwing this out, this big banana chair?
Starting point is 00:15:06 Or like that? Okay. And then, and they're like, yeah, and you go, fuck. Can I take it? This is now appealing to you, right? Yeah, it is actually. Yeah, yeah, and then you go, okay. And then as you're back into the truck,
Starting point is 00:15:20 somebody goes, you selling that big banana chair? That big banana chair? You go, could be. what would you pay for it? And they go, 50 bucks, you go, yeah, that's way more, and I would, you know, like that. And then suddenly you come into money, you think the psychic somehow helped you with that. Yeah, right.
Starting point is 00:15:39 You're right. I can see it. And their play head is just falling into place. Of course, that guy, or making that 50 bucks, they're making that offer, they're part of the scam. Of course. You know, that 50 bucks, that's coming straight from the psychic, because the psychic knows that money's coming back
Starting point is 00:15:56 to them 100 fold. Well, even if you won something on the lotto, right, even 50 bucks, wouldn't you invest some of that 50 bucks into a psychic to see if you could win more? I think this is probably exactly. I think now we're onto what their business model is and it's starting to sound pretty good.
Starting point is 00:16:15 Yeah. Especially somebody who's stinking rich like that. I don't know. But I mean, do you think your parents would fall for that kind of stuff? Did they call? No, did they call? No, they didn't, no, the person, the person who'd put a spelling mistake in our address. So, you know, that to me was a little bit of a
Starting point is 00:16:39 Bit of a giveaway. It's hard being a psychic. You got to be perfect. You can't make mistakes. Yeah. Because even if you You know, let's say, I mean they got your address right. They got the letter there, they knew what it would take to get a letter there without knowing you. You know, it's true. I mean, how would they know who you are? You know, maybe they just literally sat there and wrote random letters down. Wow. And it formed letters and numbers on the front of a thing. And after writing a letter like that, and it formed letters and numbers on a front of a thing and after writing a letter like that and it got to you
Starting point is 00:17:07 Mmm, I mean that's miraculous when you put it like that. Yeah, they hadn't written it by hand. It was a printout It was a printout. Yeah, but still they printed it out Yeah, it's even more work. Yeah, which one do you think is more work? Rodic something by hand or print to get out. Yeah, but you know, they still have to type it up. And then probably print it on the front of the envelope. Printing on the front of an envelope is a lot of work. You got to figure out how to do that. That is that actually always did seem like an almost impossible challenge. Printing something
Starting point is 00:17:39 onto an envelope was like. Get a special machine. No, I think a lot of printers can do it. Oh really? Yeah, I think so. But I mean, how would you? Oh, you got to go pretty deep into the settings. I mean, anything like, I think it doesn't feel like it's bigger deal as it used to. And maybe that's just because they've sorted things out inside printers.
Starting point is 00:18:01 But like, I remember like high school to like mid-university. The challenge of getting something printed out was enormous. And getting, you know, when you got to take out the pages and turn them upside down and invert them like that. Yeah. There were that, yeah, so many challenges. Right. I'd put this as a 12 tasks of, 12, a ministry. Wait, maybe was it was it straight onto the, was it printed straight onto the envelope? Try to remember this. Yeah. Or was it onto a piece a little sticker that was then stuck to the envelope?
Starting point is 00:18:34 You know what? I think it might have been a sticker. Because then that's still with it. You just get an A4 sticker. More, more, more, you get an A4 sticker. And then, and then you just, you've pretty cut them out. And then the location. Well, then a lot of the time they're already cut out.
Starting point is 00:18:46 But that's that's see that's see how hard that is getting the print to go into the right location and not run over. I think that's even harder. But maybe there's instructions in the container that has the the pages. Is there is there any kind of a sketch?'ll just stare in and I realize this is shit. This is so shit, so boring and shit. And it's also not even topical, right? But I'm going to say the 12-90s tasks of Hercules, right? And what we're getting out of this is we're getting some sort of a bit of nostalgia hit for people. Yeah. Okay. We're getting a bit of a Hercules reference. It's great.
Starting point is 00:19:28 It's a great sort of fusion, a cuisine of comedy. You know, in Melbourne is the second biggest Greek population in the outside of Athens. So one of my favorite statistics. So that could be really good, especially if you do it live, maybe somewhere, you know, outside, maybe, maybe some kind of amputee there. Yeah, yeah. And I think a lot of Greek people were around in the 90s. So that's really good.
Starting point is 00:19:54 That was a big time. That was actually a really big time for Greek based TV shows. It was. Yeah. Yeah. What happened to that? I guess they're still doing very well.
Starting point is 00:20:05 I see I was wondering if there would be a TV show or a movie challenges. Is that what they were? What was they called? 12 tasks, 12 tasks, I believe. And you know, the fact that they do, they are called tasks, really does make me think we could have. It's a shame. He wasn't around today
Starting point is 00:20:26 and he couldn't be the spokesperson for some sort of to-do list type. I mean, look, if there isn't already an ad in which Hercules is the spokesperson for a time management, you know, workflow logistics kind of company. Why would he do that? Why, what do you mean? Like, why would you use Hercules for time management? Well, he's got tasks, right? Like modern business, like business tasks.
Starting point is 00:20:56 I don't think enough people know about this 12 tasks of Hercules. Fuck off. Everybody knows about the 12 tasks of Hercules. It's one of the most famous myths. It's, I don't know that you keep saying it. So that's why I know about it. No, you knew about it before I started talking.
Starting point is 00:21:10 Like, yeah, I mean, I had vague memories, but it's not like. I don't know what you're, I don't know what you want from a cultural touchstone. But they don't come much bigger. Then that's 12. Yeah, well, I mean, when you think of Hercules, what do you think of? What is Hercules being strong and having your dad be a God and he turns into a swan and has sex with a lady, you know, that's about it.
Starting point is 00:21:41 I don't know, like, because he was trying to prove something. Hmm. I think you might be right. He might have had to prove that he was a god, maybe. Yeah, he was strong enough to protect a town or something. That seems a bit. Yeah, I think in the Disney movie, I've seen the Disney movie. I always get hercules mixed up a little bit with the other guy Achilles. They're been similar. Sure, sure. You know, the leaves at the end. No, it's because they're both strong guys known for their strengths and they fight.
Starting point is 00:22:13 Yeah. Right. And then and they're kind of almost invincible kind of part, you know. Yeah. Yeah. But but except Achilles has a weak heel. Would you say that getting Achilles and Hercules confused is your Hercules heel? Yeah, I would say that because I, yeah. And so because you think that Hercules could easily have been the one fighting Troy or
Starting point is 00:22:35 defending Troy or whatever it was. Sure. Of course you're right. It doesn't seem like it needed. It felt like maybe there were, you could tell that the ancient Greeks were running out of ideas. And they were just like, and this guy's strong too. I guess it doesn't all have to be like the Marvel universe where everybody has to have a different power.
Starting point is 00:22:54 I said a superpower, whatever. It's like everybody, you know, like, I mean, it wouldn't be nice though. It would be nice, yeah, sure, but I guess like, you know, like in regular life, there's only so many traits that people can have. Small nose, big nose, big mouth, small mouth, look at mouth, straight mouth. Yeah, yeah. I was actually starting to sound like there's quite a few.
Starting point is 00:23:15 Puppy ear, small ear, I don't know, some like thin ear, dangly ear, you know, with a dangly bottom thing. It's a very deep, deep, deep filter. Deep, full shallow, full, full term. You know, things like that, poor eyesight, good eyesight. You know, like, there's only, every time you use it, but then every time you look at somebody,
Starting point is 00:23:37 it still just looks like a face. It does. You know, and so, you can look at somebody new. And even though it's a completely new combination, you could still be bored. Sure. I've seen it all before. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:23:51 So I've seen these things on your face just in a different order on a different person. Why would be really excited to learn that there was a completely new type of facial arrangement that the human mind was still capable of finding beautiful? Yeah, I would like that too. And with different things on there. Completely different things. I was just thinking, rearranging the eyes are one above the other
Starting point is 00:24:16 or something like that, or the eyes are between the nose and the mouth. I mean, look, I think that's a nice way of doing it, but I think like, what about instead of a nose? Is there something that smells? Okay, you know, it's that something that smells? Okay. It's still something that smells. No, it could be something else that takes in radio waves.
Starting point is 00:24:32 Okay. Yeah. Like a little dish, a little satellite dish. So it's a sort of a shallow sort of concave, sort of circular area. Shining, it's reflective. You know, it could be, yeah, yeah, a little bit reflective. You know, maybe has that chameleon paint on the inside? What's the chameleon paint?
Starting point is 00:24:53 You know that paint where it's like, he's got a shimmer where it looks kind of green and orange and kind of things like that? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like a green to orange. You've seen a WRX with that paint on it. Exactly, yeah, like that. So something like that, maybe not a triangle,
Starting point is 00:25:05 like the nose, you know, the nose is a bit triangular. Maybe it's more like an oval. Mm, yeah, okay. Like an oval. Maybe like, you know, and then maybe instead of eyes, let's see. Like, it's too little like, you know, bubbles of water. You know, that are in pyramid shapes. Yeah, okay. And pyramids of water that are in pyramid shape.
Starting point is 00:25:26 Yeah, yeah. And we still find this attractive. I think that there would be a way in which you could still find it attractive. You could make combinations which are still attractive. And maybe the liquid is there because it can detect neutrinos or something like that. Well, I think that this could be done maybe with machine learning. This could be, while we've got these AI's
Starting point is 00:25:54 that are now able to generate images like your Dow-E or whatever it is, we tell them to make something that's attractive, but that's's attractive, right? But we, you know, that's sexually attractive. But we also specifically state that it's not allowed to feature any of these things. So we like rule out. You know, like in Google, when you put a minus before something. Exactly.
Starting point is 00:26:19 Yeah. I want something sexually attractive, but I don't want any human body parts. Yeah, yeah. Like, I mean, I could put in sexy rectangle into there. I think that I would love to see what Dali comes up with. What Dali comes up with for sexy rectangle. I think that's exciting that we can transcend,
Starting point is 00:26:38 we could use technology in this way to transcend. It could show us a path that moves beyond humanity. And we could just like, and then instead of having, like let's say that we do have these facial features that detect other things, you could just then replace all those things that we normally have on a face with a body cam. So, cause if you let's say you're dating this person,
Starting point is 00:27:02 cause they're attractive, it's the only reason you date someone, date someone right sure. They might also be a wonderful human, right? But then in order to function with them in a relationship socially you probably need them to be able to see smell taste and talk right in front so they don't have those Features they don't have eyes And that's why you love you love them yeah because you know that's because they're gorgeous yeah that's right you're never bored looking at their face at least not initially but um but then maybe they if they had a little body hem yeah they could do everything like that it's got it's got camera it's got a little speaker it's got a little speaker, it's got a little smelly vision microphone, you know, microphones that they developed for smelly vision. And you know, probably regular
Starting point is 00:27:53 microphone and maybe like a little part that spits. Sure, because you need that. Well, to get the full human range of emotion. Hmm. Yeah. I'm gonna express you a disgust. That's right. You're disgust, but also what if you would need to get a little something off your tongue? You also have a tongue down there. Yeah, they could have a tongue in there too. Yeah, great. Yeah, I'm sure it's the, that's exciting. Yeah, I'm sure it's the, it's the, it's the, it's the, it's the, it's the trying to
Starting point is 00:28:29 get new facial configurations with completely new things and still be attractive. You know, this could take the form of like a sketch with like a, with like a mad scientist who has, you know, tried to create something that's non-human but incredibly attractive. And we display it on screen and obviously the people viewing it at home. It looks like absurd, but within the world of the sketch, it's almost too attractive. And everyone is drawn to it in a crazy way. Because I think you're leaving their wives and children and husbands and children. Yeah, leaving your husband.
Starting point is 00:29:08 Because you would know straight away if it was still attractive to people, right? Because you could play it on TV and people would be like, yeah, I'm attracted to that. And it's not human. Like, I'm really attracted to it. And it's just straight away they just start plotting, leaving their family. Is it funny or is it an interesting different take on this? attracted to it. That's just the straight away they just start plotting, leaving their family. Is it, is it funny or is it, you know, an interesting different take on this idea for somebody to build a machine that has an entirely functional purpose, right? They build a machine and let's see, maybe it's a medical thing, right? And what it does is it very effectively treats
Starting point is 00:29:49 some sort of bone, bone wasting disease, right? This machine. Yeah, the machine. But, but. How big do you picture it like a finely counted? Yeah, I think it occupies about a third of the room. Yeah. Okay, but people incident incidentally just by chance find it very sexy.
Starting point is 00:30:09 Right? So the person, the inventor who's made this machine for this purpose, finds, I guess, a lot of people are ordering it for just for the fact that they do find it sexy or they're frustrated that the scientists has to deal with the fact that people only want it for just just for the fact that they do find it sexy or they're frustrated that the scientists has deal with the fact that people only want it for that reason. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, no, I find that interesting. So like, so it's a they just like I want to be left alone in the room with the thing. Is that well, you know, the doctor, you know, you won't be alone because the doctor will be helping you with your bone. He goes, oh, I don't have that sickness.
Starting point is 00:30:48 Yeah. I just want to spend some time with the machine. Yeah. Now, it's like, I guess it's like flubber. Yeah. Like the movie flubber because in flubber, he's ended that stuff and he, I guess it was an accident. I don't really know. It wasn't supposed to make this fly or whatever.
Starting point is 00:31:05 Does this machine also play basketball? Maybe, maybe. But instead of it being useful for basketball and flying cars or whatever, it's good for in flubber. I haven't seen flubber. I've only seen the original one, original one, which I think was called the absent-minded professor.
Starting point is 00:31:22 Or the, not the nutty professor. I think this one was called the absent-minded professor, or the... Not the nutty professor, no. Not the nutty professor. I think this one was called the absent-minded professor. All right. Maybe. Because Flubber was a remake, did you know that? Yeah, it's with the other guy there, that guy. Oh, no! No, I don't know.
Starting point is 00:31:34 Well, no. I don't know if it was that guy. It may have been that guy. Jerry Lewis. Jerry Lewis. Yeah. But, anyway, whatever. But instead of flubber being useful for those other things,
Starting point is 00:31:49 what if flubber had had the additional property of being very sexually attractive, right? Yeah, I mean, flubber almost is closer to being sexy. You think flubber is sexy? Like, well, it's closer than a big machine. But are you talking about just the substance of flubber is sexy? Well, it's closer than a big machine. But are you talking about just the substance of flubber that you put under your shoes and you can bounce up into the clouds? Or are you talking about that little green thing
Starting point is 00:32:13 that was like the personification number? Definitely, the little green thing is sexy. But I think also that the substance itself is probably more sexy than the large medical device that occupies a third of the world. Yeah, but I think you wouldn't want to just mistake because I think the problem with this for the comedy of it, for me at least, is that I could you know, I could picture somebody You know putting that little rubbery Like you know humanoid thing in his pants just hoping it would play with his dick or whatever like that
Starting point is 00:32:59 right and then that's you know then suddenly it's just somebody having sex with a tiny thing or whatever like that Whereas when it's a big squishy thing little squishy thing that could just be horny or whatever, like that, you know. But when it's, when it's a big machine that you couldn't even picture away in which somebody, I don't even think we're trying to imply that anybody's having sex with the machine. No, we're just trying to picture somebody wanting to spend time with it. Maybe in the room, look at it and whack off. Maybe. Exactly, be in the room.
Starting point is 00:33:28 Maybe. Yeah. And then maybe even break down one of the walls and try and steal it. And then you find it in their house. And then they're like, they've set up a table with candles and things like that. Maybe. Maybe it's not a medical device. Maybe it's a cold fusion machine, right?
Starting point is 00:33:45 Yeah. It's the first cold fusion machine and that's what makes it so important that it be used for its genuine purpose, right? It's intended purpose, it's important because it has the potential to save humanity for the energy crisis. But it's also incredibly sexy and so people are constantly constantly trying to steal it to have a relationship with it. And it's appealing to both sexes. It's a genuine, or, you know, all the, all the genders,
Starting point is 00:34:12 whatever, it's a genuinely pan. Pansexual and of non-gender specific. I believe we once came up with an orb that was like this. Yeah. But this isn't an orb. This is a big question. No, but yeah, yeah. Yeah, this is just a hand, you know, you'd get people approaching. How can I find you so hot when you're when you
Starting point is 00:34:35 managed to fuse items together at such a cold temperature? Yeah, that's great. That's one of the pickup lines that people would use for it. And you know, there's great, all these twists and turns in the story because, you know, say the president of the United States personally intervened and you think they've come here with all their crack team of whatever's to protect this thing and retrieve it. Yeah, to retrieve it. A president of the United States is here. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:35:02 Fies down on a rope. Yeah. And then, but then we realize in a shock twist that they actually just wanted to get it back to, back to their place. You know, it's being loaded onto the Air Force one. You bring it back to the White House with all your safe with me. What if, what if Mrs. the First Lady
Starting point is 00:35:24 was to stay in the camp David for the weekend What about to send the first lady to What's that other one there that one then I think it's biting using my life over the winter White House I believe they call it I'm not sure not sure if he gets that. Yeah, he should. He should. Yeah, it'd be cool. It'd be fun. Do you think Trump would like it? Do you think Trump would like it? He'd like to be part of the conversation. And if he's getting the rental for the room, what would it be? Just having people pay rent and his things like that.
Starting point is 00:36:01 rental for the room. What would it be? Just having people pay rent and things like that. You know fruit roll ups? Yeah, I do. Yeah. Why are there no, wait, no, that's beef jerky. Yeah, you got what you got. I was about to say that as well.
Starting point is 00:36:15 I was about to go, there's no meat roll ups and then you go, oh no, that totally exists. I think we talk about fruit roll ups occasionally on this show. Because it's the closest that food comes to sort of a fabric that could be used. And we're always trying to use things for other things. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:36:32 Well, you know, I know somebody who makes their whole thing is like making fruit leather. Did not. Well, yeah, it was like mushroom leather. Wow. As a foodstuff or as a material? As a material for clothing and things like that. And it's just kind of both...
Starting point is 00:36:53 Ornithy and actually. And it's because I got to see her at New Years and I was like, you have no idea how much what you do feels like an idea I came up as a joke and that you do seriously? Is that a thing you can say to somebody? Your life will feels like a joke I would come up with well cuz it It's one of those things when you realize if you look at almost most art that have concepts behind them It is often a comedy idea that you just take very seriously most art that have concepts behind them.
Starting point is 00:37:29 It is often a comedy idea that you just take very seriously. Sure. And so then you kind of go like even even most movies, even sci-fi and everything like that. You kind of go, oh these are all stupid ideas, but you're just taking it really seriously. Definitely. You just haven't put the jokes in. Yeah. So mushroom level, does it have good material properties or is it sort of, it would be a pretty significant compromise on a lot of other materials, I imagine. I think, look, I don't know enough about it.
Starting point is 00:38:00 Sure. But I think that the ideas that you find ones that are actual practical and functional and things like that, you know, and then you Discover ways of growing it faster or growing it better or whatever like that And you know things that are materials that are super soft and woven kind of things and like I mean, I can see it I can see it Yeah, you see working like you know when you peel a mushroom Yeah, and you peel that stuff up that off the top know, when you peel a mushroom, and you peel that stuff off the top of a mushroom, you peel a button mushroom, you have a peel of butter.
Starting point is 00:38:27 Oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah, I peeled a button mushroom. You know, back in the day when I wasn't, before my current love, who, you know, almost doesn't allow mushrooms in the house. Oh, really? Oh yeah, that's right. I remember that about your carnal. Well, it doesn't, she really stopped it, but she, she finds it distasteful to smell cooking mushrooms. And I notice it's also gone into that world of not liking mushrooms. Sure. But do you know about this thing where a lot of,
Starting point is 00:38:55 there's some mushrooms that are so close to us genetically? I'm not into this thing and I wasn't aware of this and I don't think that can be true. There are completely different kingdom, right? Yeah. And I don't think it goes across kingdoms like that. You don't think so? No, I don't think so. I understand that we share DNA and all that kind of stuff, but I think you're getting,
Starting point is 00:39:20 you've gone too far. You think so? Yeah. Anyway. And I realize you have, you know, you've read something about this. So I'm presuming you wouldn't just bring this up. You wouldn't be like, you wouldn't be looking around the room and be like, you know what,
Starting point is 00:39:34 humans are genetically really close to door knobs or something. Although I could believe that mushrooms are genetically very close to door knobs because they have a very similar shape. Maybe it's that mushrooms are more similar to humans than they are to plants. Okay. Yeah. But then that doesn't necessarily mean... You know, actually, I'm much more right about this than I could have ever hoped. What? What? Well, I feel like I'm still right.
Starting point is 00:40:01 Well, hang on. I mean, I certainly didn't tell you that mushrooms are closer to plants. No, no, no, no. So the DNA in wine, but I haven't gone deep enough yet for it. Deep enough into the article. You don't think that if the story was humans are basically genetically the same as mushrooms
Starting point is 00:40:18 that that would be in the headline? Wait. We are nearly 100% alike as humans and equally closely related to mushrooms. Only a few tiny changes in our DNA structure sets us apart, giving us our variations in eye, skin, and hair color. We are technically all related. We are similar to the mushroom. Some fungi can even move or seem to crawl.
Starting point is 00:40:47 No plant can do that, but we can. Look, actually, I'm starting to take it back. You're actually a bit more right than I would have hoped. Based on what you're right to think. That little bit of crawling thing. And I'm assuming, I'm assuming you are telling the truth. Look, I have no idea any, but now I'll look into that for the future, but I think there was something in there, like I remember reading something about, you know, medical professionals getting confused.
Starting point is 00:41:18 What about whether something was a person or a person. I don't know. If it was a person or a mushroom. Yeah, I mean, this could be a part of foil the moil. You know, some penises are a bit mushroom-like and vice versa. Oh, that would be cool. I think again, if the, if the, if the, if the, if the boil was blindfolded and the penises and the mushrooms were sticking up through the forest floor, I think there's a chance. Yeah, so like that circumcising sort of like men that have died or something like that.
Starting point is 00:41:46 Well, they don't have to be dead. They could have just been buried. They're just buried, yeah, yeah. Oh, that's cool. I mean, it's cool to put the the oil in different landscapes. I think we're going to have to. We're going to keep the show fresh. Having to be whole terrain, oil, four wheeled, droil.
Starting point is 00:42:01 This would be one of the challenges. Yeah, I like that. I like the one that's been deemed. What is it? Desert, you know, like an operation, operation, desert, boil, right? You know, and then he's in the sand and he's finding little, he's finding dried dicks. Dicks. And then you've got to figure out and then he's got like old kind of like dried out dicks.
Starting point is 00:42:32 And you've got some of the man animals and some of them in my humor. Yeah, but then also some of them are mushrooms. Some of them are mushrooms from the... This desert used to be a verdant forest until time change. This used to be a market. This used to be the Amazon. This used to be a verdant forest until time change. This used to be a market. This used to be the Amazon. This used to be a supermarket. This used to be the produce department of a safe way.
Starting point is 00:42:52 Yeah, and but now it's due to erosion. And it is. Sure. And so there's a lot of, you know, this like being curd and things like that as well. So that can also get a very kind of chewy texture. And then he's got to try and circumcise these things. Now, I mean, with supermarkets,
Starting point is 00:43:11 they have tried to make them, you know, you know, it's how, like in some supermarkets, they will try and make them feel like a bit more like a market or a farm gate or something like that. And they'll have like wooden boxes for the stuff. And they'll have some things resting in business drawer and that kind of. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:43:28 But I, you know, I like to think that, you know, the, the next frontier would be a supermarket where, you know, they're a small section is like a desert, you know, one of the corners. And I don't know what I don't want. Producers should get from like crawling over a sand. Maybe you get to an oasis. An oasis, say that again. And there's like there's like leaves that have like,
Starting point is 00:43:52 you know, a bit of like, Jew. Mm. And they in the in the thing. And then you can pour that from the leaf into your reusable cup. Yeah, great. And then at the end, they were, they're in Franklin spring.
Starting point is 00:44:04 Yeah, then they weigh the cup at the end. And look, you know, that feels like maybe in some ways, similar to some other ideas that we've had, right? But, but Alistair, but only, you know, only tangentially, the way it's being temporary in my mind, but I do love the idea of surrounding a desert, with instead of a car park, a big sort of, a big sand dune that you can crawl over in a ragged way to get to the supermarket.
Starting point is 00:44:30 So, wait, wait, you surround a supermarket? This is the supermarket, it's called the Oasis, right? And it's a very normal supermarket. And the difference is that in order to get in, you have to crawl over a sand dune. Okay. Okay. Okay. I like it. And this is the just, they're hoping that people will get into this kind of hard to
Starting point is 00:44:53 access. I guess it gets more of that incidental exercise in there. Absolutely, but also it's feeding into sort of a, I think you'd probably be triggering something in people's brains to associate your supermarket with this relief from the unrelenting desert, even if the desert isn't unrelenting, there'd be something that's triggered. And it's also, have I told you my theory about alding? I might have already brought it up on the podcast. It's about hunting, kind of like, you know, with animals where they hide the fruit around the... Exactly right, right?
Starting point is 00:45:30 Well, you could do that in the supermarket where they actually, like, there's nothing. There's no boxes or anything like that. Sure. You just got to go around and it's just kind of a bit of an ecosystem. There's no list system. Nothing's organized. There's no system. You got to lift a rock and you'll find a box of shapes there or like some pringles.
Starting point is 00:45:46 Yeah, I do like that. Like that. And then you go and then there's a little, there's a like a little pond and you've got to dive into it. And at the bottom you can see that there's like, bockachini balls, then you can sort of put into a cup like that. Sometimes you, there's a guy holding steaks and you got to chase him and tackle him to the ground.
Starting point is 00:46:03 Exactly. And put the steaks in your backpack. Because I think people make fun of Aldi in the middle of Ireland. Like, oh, it's all such random shit, right? But it is genuinely, they are very cleverly tapping into the part of your brain that makes you feel like you've discovered something. Because otherwise going to a supermarket is always the same on shit every single time. And you get, it turns into a chore.
Starting point is 00:46:24 But if there's just a chance, you know, and again, I think this is a thing that is targeting men specifically, and masculine urges. They make men want to go to the supermarket because there's a chance you'll get a really cheap hammer drill. Yeah. So you never know.
Starting point is 00:46:39 So you think there's a real difference between the genders and how they desire things, or something like that. I think that they're culturally or otherwise, I think males, men often do have different associations in that way. Or what we're, I think men are... I want you to know, I've just wanted to put that trap
Starting point is 00:47:04 question there. It's great. I don't even really fully understand what the trap is, but I'm aware that I'm falling into it, but I'm gonna keep going. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I think that men probably tend to think of, you know, chores like going to the supermarket
Starting point is 00:47:22 as possibly a woman's role, right? Wow. And I'm not saying it is, I'm not saying it is. But I think sometimes that is the case, right? But I think, Alde is tricking. The trick is so much better than I thought it was. I think Alde is tricking men into thinking
Starting point is 00:47:41 that they want to go to the supermarket by putting some weird shit in the middle aisle and being like, you could get a motorbike helmet. And even if you don't even have a motorbike, you're walking along there being like motorbike helmet. I'm shopping in a motorbike shop. You know? This is basically a motorbike shop.
Starting point is 00:48:01 It's okay for me to be here. Yeah, I like that, because guys like motorbikes. Well, I think on some level, they do, yes. Yeah. It's okay for me to be here. Yeah, I like that because guys like motorbikes. Well, I think on some level, they do. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. I think all guys on some level think that they could would would would be it would be cool to have a motorbike. Would you agree with this statement? Yes. All women on some level want to have a motorbike on some level. I don't know if that's true. No, not even on some level.
Starting point is 00:48:28 No, even level zero. Because I mean, if I'm including level zero, sure. But I think all men on some level wanna have a motorbike. And I don't think all women on some level wanna have a motorbike. Yeah, but what about the level, like let's say level 0.01 where they'd like to have a motorbike just so they but what about the level, like, let's say level 0.01, where they'd like to have a motorbike just so they can sell it and get the money. I mean, are you saying that on some level all women want money? Is that what you're saying? Yeah, I mean, especially
Starting point is 00:48:57 in my interpretation of on some level. Yeah. Yeah. It's good. I think, I think on some level. Yeah. Yeah. It's good. I think, uh, I think on some level, I've won this conversation. Wow. Yeah. But I think on your interpretation, I think on your interpretation. Yeah. Yeah. That's good. I like giving voice to anything. I'm feeling very calm. Yeah. That's good. You can't, you can't say anything anymore. No, no, I let you say it so much. That's the thing you can and you did. You can. You seem to be very able to say it. It went well.
Starting point is 00:49:35 You did great. I think it's relief. It's just fun. That's the sensation of what the tight rope is of like. Mm. I can go, oh yeah, what is tight rope is of like, I think. There we go. Oh, yeah, what is, okay, what is right here? I think, is that a game show?
Starting point is 00:49:52 Is that a game show? Yeah. It's called the tight rope. Yeah. And you just start, you get people to start a sentence. Yeah. Right, and then they gotta keep walking along and not panic. I have an answer for that. Is there something else I can help with? Thanks, Eric. And then they got to keep walking along and not panic. I think you could have a group of people who are a very diverse group of people.
Starting point is 00:50:17 And they have to put up their hand when they have a problem with something you just said. Yeah, okay. That's interesting. Yeah. And. But, but if they put up their hand, they've got to take over the conversation from that point and steer it back onto what they think is safe territory. Yeah, and they can say something where, yeah, well, I mean, I wonder, yeah, if you could get to the end without, and it'll be interesting, I don't think we, yeah, well, I mean, I wonder if you could get to the end
Starting point is 00:50:45 without, and it would be interesting that I can't, I don't think we can figure it out, but like, right now, maybe it takes too long, but like, because if they, let's say, let's say you got to the end of a some statement, and then they counted the number of hands that were had been up, they got up, and then they got it, then the people who said it have to go back through it and say it in a way in which they think that there will be no problem. And then some people will just have a problem with the fact that you're saying things in an overly complicated way that avoids saying things that anyone would have a problem with. So there's a free speech people in there.
Starting point is 00:51:21 Yeah. It's like it does anger people to hear people being so careful with language. Right. So you have to be very strident, but also very acceptable. Yeah. And so it's like it's such a waste of time to say something that is so careful when we all know in the end that it actually doesn't matter because we know that it's not offensive because we understand really the general meaning of this whole thing.
Starting point is 00:51:49 Right? Yeah, I don't know. It's just an interesting thing that there's no way that you could say it without it being at least a little bit of a problem for everybody. So, and would you give people like a topic sentence? And it would be like masculinity is or every man believes, or something like that. Every woman wants, you'd start a sentence like that.
Starting point is 00:52:16 And then you gotta keep talking. I wonder if there was a way to get people say, to say what, like their core beliefs. I don't know. And so that, that's cool. And then everybody's putting up their hands and saying, I'm offended by your core beliefs. We know there's something on the line.
Starting point is 00:52:37 Yeah. You know. I mean, isn't that interesting? Because I don't think I have any core beliefs. Yeah, I think you do. I think you do, Adi. I think you have very strong. No, actually, I take that back.
Starting point is 00:52:48 Yeah, I think you probably have very strong core beliefs. Yeah. You know, but the reason I said that is because, I guess I don't think of my beliefs as being beliefs. I'm like, well, they're just facts. I don't have core beliefs. Yeah. I mean, I don't believe it. It's just, it's just what, what is? Yeah. And so, but then
Starting point is 00:53:11 you got to be something that you can win as well at the end. I don't know how, but yeah. In person with the best, the most truthful core belief that a line with, I don't know. So you're writing down my core beliefs, is that you're the core beliefs game show? Core beliefs. Yeah, do you think that puts somebody's core beliefs on the line? I do think, I think people would be genuinely interested to learn it.
Starting point is 00:53:34 Nobody ever talks about anybody's core beliefs, right? There's no forum. Yeah. Core beliefs. To put them out there, I guess the internet, I guess everywhere on the internet probably is the forum. I wonder, but what, I can't figure out what would be on the line yet, like I mean what
Starting point is 00:53:54 we're trying to figure out, but Andy we definitely have five sketches. That's very exciting and you know I'm really looking forward to hearing them all back again. Alistair and I probably gonna try and wrap it up relatively quickly from this point on because we have to go to an awards ceremony tonight. So we've got to get dressed in in about 10 minutes and drive there at about 20 minutes. Yeah I mean if we want to get there right when it's starting. Yeah and that's what I was hoping for. Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:54:26 Yeah. Because there'll be more of snacks. Well, I mean, I have no idea what kind of a function this is. No, I don't. It might even, but you've got to go in and sit down or some show, right? Oh, yeah, yeah. So you could have a start time.
Starting point is 00:54:38 Oh, yeah, yeah. Alice says just imagining we mill around, eating snacks, and then at some point, someone gets an award. But I don't know that any award ceremonies take that format. All right, here we go. Maybe they bring the awards around on a little platter and you just take whichever ones you feel. But three words from a listener today. Today I didn't pre-write them.
Starting point is 00:54:56 I have to go into my phone. Are from crud. Crud, K-Rud. K-Rud. Kevin Rudd. K-R-U-URud. Kevin Rudd. K-R-U-D.
Starting point is 00:55:06 Now only former prime minister. Listener. Listener and discord contributor. Yes. Has three words. And did you want to try and guess what they are? Yeah, the first word is manipulative. Oh, you started really strong.
Starting point is 00:55:19 Damn. But then after the second, after the first letter, you really failed. Now, the first word is must. Must? Yeah. M-U-S-T-H. Must. You don't know what that is?
Starting point is 00:55:35 No, I don't. I don't even know if it's a real word. Should we get all the words before we go looking them up? You want to go to the second word? Yeah. Okay. The second word is lymph. No, it's pathesis.
Starting point is 00:55:50 Moths, pathesis. Yeah. Sinousisia? It's the last word sinousisia. Oh, very close. No, it's not synosus, it's catharsis. Ah, okay, then I do need to know what moths is. Okay, well pathos, I don't know, then I do need to know what moths is. Okay, well, I know it's all, wait, here, I think he gave me pathisis, but the word that's
Starting point is 00:56:11 coming up is pathisis, which is Ph.T.H.I.S. Okay. Which is pulmonary tuberculosis or a similar progressive wasting disease. Moths is a periodic condition in bull elephants characterized by highly aggressive behavior and accompanied by a large rise in reproductive hormones. Oh, I think I've heard this called MUST. Right.
Starting point is 00:56:41 Perhaps by in an in a podcast. No, no, no, an atember a document, a documentary. Oh, well, also for this is bold by is a shrunken non functional eye. Oh, wow, that's good. Yeah, sure. because it's the catharsis of you've grown up with bulbous eyes, right? Especially one particularly bulbous eye that has been just filling up your socket. So you got a big eye. You got big eye. You got a bad case of the big guy, right? And then one day you catch some disease which gives you phythicis, bolbih. It shrinks down. It shrinks down and becomes non-functional.
Starting point is 00:57:37 Okay. And is that off of your catharsis in some way? Well, it off is your catharsis because that pressure goes away. It's all right. Pressuring you felt all throughout your life. Yeah, but now, I mean, your other eye will look big in comparison. No, because it only had one big eye. Yeah, so that one shrinks down and becomes non-functional.
Starting point is 00:57:53 It's a tiny little nub now. What if it shrinks down to the perfect size? It's normal. Okay, it's non-functional, though. Hey, still. Okay. It was blinding pressure. Hmm.
Starting point is 00:58:04 I mean, it's interesting to me that as far as I'm aware Like men don't have like a hormonal cycle that makes them more sexual at certain times, right? I mean, I definitely feel more sexual at certain times. Sure, but I don't know I mean, maybe we should track our cycles, Alistair. Yeah. Maybe we should be kids. You should see if they're in line. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:58:28 But there might be. There might be. That would be interesting. I think usually mine lines up when there's nobody else in the house. Yeah. Yeah. I aww.
Starting point is 00:58:40 Right at all time. I don't know how these cycles look. You know, there's nothing more attractive to me than a window of opportunity. Yeah. Yeah. So, I don't know how these cycles long out. You know there's nothing more attractive to me than a window of opportunity. Yeah, so I don't know. But yeah. There's no effridoosiac like loneliness. Yeah, and it's not really the loneliness though,
Starting point is 00:58:54 it's just the, you know, not gonna be walked in on this. But I mean, what if, what if when you got an erection, the blood didn't come from just sort of throughout your body, it came from like a very specific other place in your body. Both your eyes. Like your eyeballs, right? So, you know, to achieve an erection,
Starting point is 00:59:17 your eyeballs have to shrink down. Yeah, and then, so then your beloved's looking into your eyes, I can just see in like the red part of the inside of the socket can look behind your eyes and can see the muscles moving. I just like a little stalk, like a little crab's eye in the middle of the socket. Okay. And I assume you wouldn't be able to see so well
Starting point is 00:59:43 with this condition. Right? But you get tunnel vision. You can see exactly what you need to see. And what was the other word, catharsis? Catharsis. Well, I, you know, could have its own form of catharsis. I think the idea that the blood, he's got a condition where the blood comes only from the eyes.
Starting point is 01:00:09 And his eyeballs, when he gets in the direction, his eyeballs shrink down and he gets crab eyes. I mean, is... What, I mean, what is the broader story here? I mean, what, why would that happen? It's how to look. I mean, you know, maybe an alien. You know, like, you know, somebody, somebody is, you know, it could be that a guy approaches a woman in, you know, or a man in not all our characters have to, you know, be women in our sketches. And they're, they're trying to, they're picking them up and they're kind of like, they're really
Starting point is 01:00:57 vibing off of each other to say, I bet you you're a real little freak in the bedroom. Like that. And they go, I actually am a real little freak in the bedroom. Like that and they go, I actually am. A real little freak. And then you go, I love a little freak. You go, well then you're gonna love. You're in for a treat? Yeah. You're gonna love what I got for you.
Starting point is 01:01:16 Yeah, okay, that's great. And then they get them home. And that's what they reveal. As soon as I get really aroused, the blood goes down to my genitals directly from my eyes. They get little grabbers. And the other person who turns out is really turned on by that. And then they go, I want to touch you with the grabbers.
Starting point is 01:01:38 And they can rest there like, dry. It's real dry. It's real dry. It's scratchy. It's actually dry. It's real dry. Scratchy. It's actually like, it's like, it's self-culted, it's almost like it's self-afform of a wrecked because it's like, it's had so much liquid drain
Starting point is 01:01:53 from it that it's just become a hard physical matter. Like a, like a, like a beach ball when a beach ball is deflated and it forms that kind of stick-like. Oh, when it's sticky. Yeah, that's nuts. Yeah. Anyway, I think we've done it here, let's do it.
Starting point is 01:02:11 Okay, and yeah, I'm gonna see the sketches. We've got the Hydra, Moil Circumcises baby, but it grows back with an extra foreskin, right? And then that keeps happening. It's the... It would be a legend. I'm sure there's a legend that's passed down from oil to oil. It's got to be that about that.
Starting point is 01:02:27 The Hydrofoil skin. The Hydrofoil skin. The Hydrofoil skin. Hydrofoil the oil. Hydrofoil. And then we got the foil the oil game show. Mm. And we got 12 tasks at Hercules, but in the 90s,
Starting point is 01:02:40 mostly printer-bought base, firing the battle that idea. Then we got the finding the bounds of attractiveness. Scientists puts new things in faces, but keeps it attractive. Then we got people fall in love and find attractive this machine that treats bone marrow issues or it's a cold fusion generator.
Starting point is 01:03:01 Then we got the foraging supermarket. You got to find the food. Also there's a big, there's a big sand dude over there. I think people are all thinking, cheese the foraging ideas, some bits like something you've already come up with, but the sand, June ideas are really new interesting.
Starting point is 01:03:17 No, that's true, yeah, yeah. I know, it was just, we didn't get the rationale for the sand. The core beliefs game show. You got to go out there and state your core beliefs. You're gonna keep your hands up. You're gonna keep stating core beliefs. At the longer you can go without somebody putting their hand up, the better.
Starting point is 01:03:36 Yeah. And then I guess it's who's the better person. Yeah. I think so. Yeah. Anyway, um, crab eye erection. Little freak pickup. That's all I've written up the words.
Starting point is 01:03:52 I'm really excited about that. And I'm sure K-Rod is as well. Yeah, thanks so much, K-Rod. I hope that this condition is even worse than the ones that you sent us. But also, K-Rod, who runs the whales, the whales part of the, tune the thing to this chord will love a little,
Starting point is 01:04:10 you know, probably not. It's a marine animal thing. A marine animal thing. I mean, are there any purely land crabs that don't get involved in any, don't fuck with any water? And is it the coconut crab? You write in on the discord, let us know.
Starting point is 01:04:25 Ba-o-t. Ba-o-t. Ba-o-t. Ba-o-t. Ba-o-t. Ba-o-t. Ba-o-t. Ba-o-t.
Starting point is 01:04:32 Ba-o-t. Ba-o-t. Ba-o-t. Ba-o-t. Ba-o-t. We gotta get suited up. Yeah. And we love you.
Starting point is 01:04:42 Love you. Hi, icons. It's Danny Pellegrino from the Pop Culture Podcast, Everything Iconic, and I love Nordstrom. No place better to shop, particularly during the holiday season, because they have everything. They have holiday decor at Nordstrom. They have cozy cardigans from Barefoot Dreams, my fav. They have cold weather attire, party attire, plus free shipping and free returns. Free store pickup. You can also purchase a recycled fabric gift bag so your item arrives festive and wrapped. So check out Nordstrom this holiday
Starting point is 01:05:15 season, a one-stop shop. You can explore more at Nordstrom in store or online at Nordstrom.com. in store or online at Nordstrom.com.

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