Two In The Think Tank - 360 - "SASSASSIN"

Episode Date: November 29, 2022

Unkilling, Jurassic Palliative Care, TreeNA, Surfballs, Ballbag Industry, You Lick My Back, Making a Mint, Flesh Eating Putdown, AsssasserGustav and Henri Volume 2 is now available to purchase in Australia here!You can support the pod by chipping in to our patreon here (thank you!)Join the other TITTT scholars on the TITTT discord server hereGet Magma here: https://sospresents.com/programs/magmaHey, why not listen to Al's meditation/comedy podcast ShusherDon't forget TITTT Merch is now available on Red Bubble. Head over here and grab yourselves some material objectsYou can find us on twitter at @twointankAndy Matthews: @stupidoldandyAlasdair Tremblay-Birchall: @alasdairtb and instaAnd you can find us on the Facebook right here Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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In our rap group. We say you spit the rhymes and I'll align the times. That's how we do it. That's how we make it work so well. Our music group. That's why our music career is only. It's only success away. It's only a is only. It's only success away. It's it's only a success away. It's only success away. It's only success away. What does that mean? Well, all we have to do is succeed

and then we'll be there. Oh yes. We're just going to be noticed by the right person. A really the right people in the same person by the right people, I mean, everybody on earth. Because you're all right. Mm. I know, but by me. Are you saying that if everybody knew of us, it would be hard not to be successful? Do you think everybody could know your music and still say everybody says no? Wow.

I mean, that would be quite remarkable. Yeah. To achieve the kind of exposure where you're convinced, you know, you know, as a matter of fact, that nobody likes your stuff. Like everybody has been exposed to every corner. It's like it was played from the starlinked, tri-person, the sandwich islands.

Sandwich Islands? Are they the ones with the people with the, throw the arrows at the people? That's definitely not it, no. Okay. But you talk about whether you're a love sandwich just from... No, no. Talking about those ones where you can't land there, they throw spears at Helicopters. Yeah, it's got a different name.

Like it's got some name. It doesn't sound like a food. It does. It doesn't start with S. Sossage Islands. Sossage Islands. No, I don't think it's got a different name like it's got some need it doesn't sound like a food start with this sausage sausage islands sausage. I don't think it's a booker It's not a drink. Oh, okay, well, I don't know how to my ideas Sentinel Sentinel Sentinel Island. Yeah, Sentinel Island north Sentinel Island The South Sentinel Island, incredibly hospitable peoples. Absolutely.

I don't think they're inhospitable. They just don't want to be, you know, they haven't been contacted that much and people that do contact them. I mean, look, maybe they are inhospitable, but I think they're hospitable to each other. And that's nice. That's why there are society. They're very welcoming, just not of strangers. Rather than an island with one guy.

Has anyone let them hit them with a spear? We might discover that the spears are actually attached to a thin, but strong rope that they use to haul people closer. It's a very aggressive and proactive welcoming strategy. A lot of people have bobbed when they should have weaved and they took it in the heart. Although they're trying to reach your heart. Yes. But that's not through the spear. The spear, they're just trying to get you closer so that they can get to your heart with their with their love. Goodness. And kindness and generosity.

Killing with kindness. Killing with spears. I wonder if you could request. You know how they let you choose the way that you get killed. And the, you know, the way they let you, I'll let you say your thing. I said my thing. Killing with spears. Doesn't nobody would see that as. Is this anything killing with unkindness? Killing with unkindness. I think that's something or unkilling with unkindness. Killing with unkindness, I think that's something. Or unkilling with unkindness.

So, using evil to bring people back to the, from the dead, as a way of inconveniencing the living, I think there's an idea of this. Attacking people by bringing back like relatives that are actually a huge pain in the ass. That's a huge pain news. Burdens from beyond the gripe. Especially like, like, as imagine this, say, right, you have an aunt that, you know, there was fine while they were alive. Yes. Right. But now they've been brought back to life. Their life is gone. Right. They didn't have kids or something like that. Nothing else going on. You're the closest person that is in their family. And now they have to

move in with you because they're, they're alive and they just need somewhere, right? And they are obligated. How alive are they? Are they alive in any sense like a zombie or are they just fully back to life? I think they're fully back to life. But with no support structures. No support structure.

And now you've just got to like squeeze them into your place. Yeah. And I mean, there must be some stuff that goes wrong with them, maybe bits of them fall off and it's a joke. Oh, no. And things like that. Yes. But functionally, they're still alive.

And it's something about the magic or the science that brought them back, fights that deterioration to keep them alive. I like that it's magical science. Yeah. We're agnostic. We're technology agnostic. that deterioration to keep them alive. I like that it's magic or science. We're agnostic. We're technology agnostic, including, we'll accept magic as a possibility. What is this? This is unkilling with unkindness.

That's the name of the show. Sure. But I'm also interested in the idea, because we've come up with a few speculative zombies on this show before, like rich zombies and that kind of thing. But a zombie who comes back and they are not malicious in any way, but the thing is they're only just alive. They're not very alive. They're just alive enough to be once again a burden on this feels like a much more realistic kind of zombie. Right. we can bring them back from the dead but just not very far back from the dead we can bring people back

to a state of almost total dependence and then you have to look after them again we can bring them into that bit where it would have otherwise been in pliative care right very close to the end of their lives. Poliative. Poliative. I've always heard paleoid, paleoid, paleoid, paleoid. Maybe that's it. Maybe you're right. Paleoid. Paleoid, paleoid, paleoid, paleoid, paleoid, paleoid, paleoid, paleoid, paleoid, paleoid, paleoid, paleoid, paleoid, paleoid, paleoid, paleoid, paleoid, paleoid, paleoid, paleoid, paleoid, paleoid, paleoid, paleoid, paleoid, paleoid, paleoid, paleoid, paleoid, paleoid, paleoid, paleoid, paleoid, paleoid, paleoid, paleoid, paleoid, paleoid, paleoid, paleoid, paleoid, paleoid, paleoid, paleoid, paleoid, paleoid, paleoid, paleoid, paleoid, paleoid, paleoid, paleoid, paleoid, paleoid, paleoid, paleoid, paleoid, paleoid, paleoid, paleoid, paleoid, paleoid, paleoid, paleoid, paleoid, paleoid, paleoid, paleoid, paleoid, paleoid, paleoid, paleoid, paleoid, paleoid, paleoid, paleoid, paleoid, paleoid, paleoid, paleoid, paleoid, paleoid, paleoid, paleoid, paleoid, paleoid, paleoid, paleoid, paleoid, paleoid, paleoid, paleoid, paleoid, paleoid, palliative toxic. This would also work for a Jurassic Park where again they can bring the dinosaurs back but they're in incredible pain. They're very sick. They're very close to death.

Yeah. We actually don't need cages because they just lie there screaming in pain. Oh, they just seem really uncomfortable. They don't like it at all. So is it just like the flesh starts growing back? You know, I mean, you just drop, you've got a, like a little, a bulbous kind of chemistry sort of glass thing. And then you, it's got a purple liquid in there. It's bubbling. And then you just, this sounds more like science to me, the magic.

This one, yeah. This is a side drip. You drip it over, a drip falls on it, goes, that sounds a bit like magic. That seems a bit like something that happened in the potion. Like that. It also could be something you know, if you're just dropping water from a beaker onto a hot plate. I also think the fact that it's a purple liquid again, quite magic.

That is magic. You're right. It was red or yellow or blue. I would have said sides, but that it's a purple liquid again quite magic. That is magic. Right. It was red or yellow or blue. I would have said sides, but because it's purple, then I guess it somehow accesses secret DNA in there. And it starts recreating the whole thing from that spot outwards. Yeah. Yeah.

Making a full dinosaur, but that is in pain. Oh, then it's writhing around us trying to hold it tummy. And the thing that people are running screaming from is the ethical consequences of their actions. Yeah. The one thing that they forgot to build a fence, to build a wall around was their compassion. See. That's the amazing thing about Jurassic Park. I said they created a park where the bringing

of the dinosaurs worked perfectly. Yes. You know, like you go, wow, they actually have perfect dinosaurs. They're living, they're happy, they're instead of the another killing machines. They remember like without having generations of other animals to learn from about how to hunt. It's all instinctual, isn't it? Everything and they just knew how to hunt. It's all instinctual.

Isn't everything, and they just knew how to do. Top of their game. Yeah, they didn't have to bring them back to their peak. It was truly amazing. And all the, like they didn't mess up, they had all of the plants that they needed to eat. They had the perfect forests for that. They got the balance of the, yeah, the ecosystem.

I mean, just that alone feels like that. How do they bring the plants back? Because the fucking the, the, the, the mosquitoes, the mosquitoes aren't drinking tree juice to get. Well, because that's how they bought the dyes back was. They're not, they're not. They're not. They're not. In the, in the, there might be a sap mosquito. I know, but the amber that during of the, you know, they're not, they're not just in the sap, it might be a sap mosquito.

I know, but the amber that they're in is sap. You know, way, yes. For the, yeah, it a matter of joy, a matter of course, you're on. So what, what they did for those ones to bring the trees back is they, they went and they scratched that mosquito out. Yeah. And they took it out of the mosquito away. Yeah, through that away.

And then fortunately, I found some amber around a mosquito. scratch that mosquito out. Yeah, they took it out. Through the mosquito away. Through that away. I thought fortunately I found some amber around a mosquito. I was able to get a drill. Get the mosquito out. So I could just have this beautiful pure amber and brings. You see the intense close up as they drill down to the mosquito and then they keep drilling to get some of the amber from the other side. We realised afterwards we could have just turned the blob of amber around to get it from that side. But you know, the high-end site is 2020.

Then we took some of this tree DNA and put it into a frog and it laid eggs and it's on. We used a syringe and we placed the needle into a frog and then we pushed it through and out the other side of a frog and into the... The ground. The ground. And it just treated it over to the ground. To grab the trail. Again, later we realised the frog wasn't necessary. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure.

I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure.

I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure.

I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not, that would have been perfect. It would actually be, do you think I could still release the party? I guess people would have been listening to think, God, I bet he's got a great ending for this sentence. Yeah. If I could just, if I could have died just before it became really even wanting more, and this sentence that he sort of slowly waffling his way through.

Peter Eagout, leave him knowing that there's nothing left in the tank. Leave them with an obvious trend line. That's my, that's my philosophy. An obvious trend line. Can you check your phone, would you see? I just saw, I just had, there was a buzz. And I thought there's a potential, this is an opportunity. This could be an opportunity. But in an opportunity, I could, I could get out of here right now.

Me and Andy were both hopeful people because we've noticed that a lot of people don't even like to answer their phone. If it's a strange number. Yeah. But, Alistair and I, we rely entirely on strange numbers. The strange numbers. People we don't know, colleagues, the people that we do know, they know that we're not capable of very much.

So, they never offer us opportunities. It's totally strangers. That's right. So, strangers offer us opportunities. It's totally strangers. That's right. So strangers. Yeah, to real we go. And just the fact to be a fact that it has happened at lit more than twice in this year, you get a call and you go, hello, this Alistair, yeah, I have an opportunity go, what?

Though, it's an opportunity to have my light globes replaced with LED light globes. You know what? I'll take it. Yeah, I've started telling those people that I already have LEDs in my whole house. Right. Yeah. What do you tell them? I think I do have LEDs in my whole house. I tell them I say I actually have too many LEDs. Sounds like you have all covers with people who might want LEDs. Yeah. Maybe you could take some of mine, send the people around and I'll load them up. Sounds like you have all covers with people who might want LEDs. Maybe you could take some of mine, send the people around and I'll load them up. Oh, that's great.

I don't tell them that. I'm never not that confident. You could start telling them, I'm an LED light club salesman. Could you, would you be interested in buying some? Or at least you and I could catch up for a coffee and just talk about the industry. It's always great to network. I need great to meet somebody else. Maybe I could get a job in your call center. It does sound very noisy in there. You guys have such good quality mics. They pick up lots of noise. Or it's very open plan.

How close are you to the next person? Every room is open-played. Every room is open-played. That's what a room is. It's an open-played area. That's true. Yes. And it's also doesn't know what it's going to do for the rest of the day.

Every room. I think maybe that's why it's a little bit more. That's why it's a calendar, a booking system like the room that we're in right now. That's true. I forgot. Yeah, I guess not every room was open plan in that regard. Got I feel really embarrassed. Yeah. It was me too. It was shut me down with something that was so uninteresting. This is almost like the time when I was eating

father beats. I've never eaten father beats in my life. What did you just have for lunch? Or what it turns out it was father beans. Father. Father. Father. Father. Father. Father. Father.

All right. But like, even the idea of him eating father beans. Mmm. With a nice candy. Firstly, beans and wine doesn't sound like that's a great. What is candy? It's just like a type of grape. I think it's got San Giovanni, you know? Yeah, rightovasie, you know, beans and wine. Beans and wine. If he said beans and wine, it wouldn't

have been as good as good a lot. What a beans and wine. I had. Let's produce an entirely, let's remake silence of the lambs, but using entirely synonyms. Okay. Oh, but being, oh yeah. We'll call the film The Synonyms of the Lambs. That's really good. Or maybe the synonym. Forget it. So we re-voice the whole thing.

We, I think we remake the entire thing, but's what we do get ants in a hot-con. Well, somebody did say that the way they... I saw, you know, I'm just scrolling. You know how I told you today. For me, I don't enjoy watching things anymore, consuming anything, except for maybe comedy bang-bang. And occasionally I listen to this so that I can get our ideas again and then we can use it in our work.

And... But one thing, the guy was like, man, so that I can get our ideas again and then we can use it in our work. And but I won things, the guy was like, man, we're content creating company. All you do is you go to a video, you get the transcript for it, and then you run it through this thing that just like changes the wording, so it's like an anti-plagiarism thing. You run it through that,

and then there's your script for your own video. Doesn't feel like it's an anti-plagiarism thing. Feels like it's a proagiarism thing. You run it through that. And then there's your script for your own video. Doesn't feel like it's an anti-plagiarism thing. Feels like it's a pro plagiarism thing in a way. It doesn't. Anti-get caught by familiar behaviors. Yeah. And then so we could, wait, what am I saying? I guess we could release a second podcast.

Mm. Where we do that. Just the synonyms. I do it the thing. Two in the think tank. So we get the, we get all the words. We get the transcript. And that's already going to be a hell trying to figure that out.

True, how to do that. And we get the transcript. And then we just get it to, you know, to voice our voices. Or we could just read it out. Oh, right. We could do that in the bonus episode, just in one episode. Sure.

I mean, then read out the transcript. The moment anything to keep it fresh. Now, Alistair, you didn't finish your bit about your attention span and about how with scrolling, you no longer enjoy watching things. I no longer enjoy watching things. I just like the scrolling bit because it makes me go, oh great, something new. Yeah. This next thing could be good.

Yeah, this next thing could be great like that. And then you go, no, it's not. Oh, that feels good. Thank God, I've got rid of that one. Finally, I can move on to something else that could be great. Yeah. Yeah, it might be a completely new emergent type of emergent consciousness that we're about to come into. Wow. If we are training the brain to only recognize change now. It's only like, so I mean, I become flux. That'll be my new identity. Pure flux. Yeah, I'll be, as of what people will have to call me.

Flux from laborers, probably. I think that's who I'm going to be in season four or five of the podcast. Which one are we in now? We in season three now? Mm. Yeah. I'm heading towards that, where I at least I'm in season three.

I'm in season one hundred episodes. I'm deteriorating my brain until I become flux. And then I will only like things changing, which will mean I'll have to change the the subject, which I already do a lot. But yeah, I mean, I wonder if by, you know, if by you become that thing that only exists on the very, I mean, we're already, you know of a wave that moves from the past to the future and we're just surfing now. But I wonder if by becoming that creature, you'll just be slightly further down the crest of the wave than the rest of us. In some way in your mind, you might, you might, I don't think we should rule out the possibility that there will be a fundamental change in the nature of our consciousness brought about by social media in a way that we

experience reality. Yeah. What do you think that'll mean? I don't know yet. I think it's a difficult thing to describe. Yeah. And really, when you catch a wave, you don't really ride on the crest, do you? You kind of, you ride kind of on the front, I can't.

You're kind of on the face of it. Yeah. And because if you're on the crest, then you're probably going to end up falling behind your eye. So you're not getting that push from the way that big heavy present. Well, that maybe maybe we could invent a new type of surfboard where you can actually ride on the crest of the way. The surfboard has like a sort of a big scoop or tongue that dangles big sort of ball bag that hang dangles down the front of the wave and is tickled

along by the front of the wave. The tickled based proportions of the ball bag. But it's like a reverse hand tend, but with like it, it's like a, it's like a T-bag of the way. Exactly. But is it, does that drop, does it have to drop after you've sort of gotten onto the wave? Like, yes. You hold, you hold it up. You hold you hold it up.

Oh, sorry. You hold it up on top of the board. And then as you can feel it clutch, as you swim with the other head, head over the other head like that. And then you kind of as you see your you picking up speed when the wave you drop the ball bag. Instead of you dropping into the wave, you just drop the tea bag the ball bag into the front of the wave, like that, and then that propels you forward.

And then I guess you just enjoy life. Yeah, and then your balls right up along the sand, the coasts, to the shore. That's like, I mean, that's a big wave that you've caught all the way to the shore like that. I imagine that's what they do every time. Is that not correct? No, no because usually like once the wave breaks You know you kind of ride along it until the wave really kind of breaks Oh, yeah, and then you're in that slop. Yeah, well then you could be in the front of the slop

And you can usually keep riding on one but then You're there's no fun. There's no like you're just kind of going straight Which is not the ride that you're both surfers, I think you're looking for, it's just a straight one. I want the most direct. Just the most, yeah. I'm just aiming to get there, you know? Yeah, yeah. Do you think the earth, what is the board that we are riding on through time? Mind board. It's just our mind. I mean, our body is traveling through time as well. My theory of consciousness is that it's just an algorithm that we've used to recognize

patterns in the world. So we've evolved to have an algorithm in our brains that recognizes patterns in order to predict the future. And at some point something has happened in the human mind where that algorithm has started to recognize the pattern of the thing that is recognizing the patterns. And so we are now noticing that there is a self. The self is just the pattern of what's this thing? I've noticed that every time that there's a, recognize a pattern There's a thing that's recognizing the pattern

But also we also remember the past like is in order to be able to predict the future You kind of got to remember the past sure sure so a big part of that is like all the past that you remember You go well, these are all the things I've done which are must be who I am part of the self Yeah, no, that's a good theory as well. I mean, I think there's multiple little bits. No. Then there's that bed that gets woozy when you feel like you lose your balance. Yeah, don't think about it too much or you'll fall over. Yeah. You can't really, you can't analyse the self too much or you'll lose your, I mean, I'll tell you who's not analysing that they itself. The gymnasts on that, that beam.

You don't think so? Yeah, I guess you don't have really time, right? You just got a job, you just got to know with, yeah, I mean, it's good. Once you do it, a few, uh, backs, instructions, you shake it out of you, any self-consciousness. But I mean, you're probably also thinking about a shitload of stuff while you're doing that, because you're going, you've got, I mean, there's probably a lot of muscle memory, but you would be like, oh, very present. You go, oh, that was a bad one.

Like, you're probably thinking that you go, oh, that one wasn't quite as good as it was shit. Yeah, that's it. No bend. But I wonder if you're even thinking about it in that way, about like this was a bad one, or if you're thinking thinking just this is what I have to do next in order to correct for the situation that I've found myself in. You might not even be able to make a value judgment in that because you're so busy. You know, like whenever

we are doing stand-up comedy and something goes badly, As soon as you start thinking about that, you're fucked, right? Because your mind is no longer present and whatever it is that you're saying next, you're not going to be delivering it in a way that is interesting or compelling at all. Sure. Although, I have found myself being able to tell a joke and think about what I'm going to have for dinner at the same time. Yeah, how does the joke go? Well, usually fine if it's in the muscle memory stage. Oh, that's great. That's fun. That's fun for you. Yeah, yeah, anyway, this is a thing a lot of that. You go, oh, I think spaghetti. Spaghetti.

We haven't moved forward. I don't think this consciousness stuff. Oh, no. It's a wave stuff wasn't a bit of a dead end. Yeah, I mean, you know, a surfboard with a ball bag is, it's an interesting stuff. I guess so, yeah. All right. All right. All right, down the ball bag surfboard.

Thank you very much. Surfboard with a ball bag. Yeah. How would you advertise that too? Let's say, let's say you're trying to advertise it on Instagram. Well, we know that you can you there is a market out there for guys who want to have a ball bag on the back of their Yout utility, but that's entirely Visual as far as I'm aware that ball bag serves no function. It doesn't actually contain any sperm Or anything like that. It's not dropping. It's maybe the car, they suggested the car is the dick.

If the car is the dick, then the dick is enormous relative to the balls. I think the car has to be the beast. Okay. Oh, yeah, of course. But the car was the dick. And then you had a really big ball bag. But I mean, you know, with the, with the surfing thing, the board could be the dick and the balls and you would just be surfing backwards on the, that's true, on the dick and balls. But would you actually have to make a backwards surfboard? Or would you, that's not something that you... I wonder.

Because then what about those two? I guess like the fins. I don't think you'd need the fins anymore. Yeah, you don't think so? Unless you... Those would be the banjo strings. They could be. Yes.

The three banjo strings of Marquitos Estrada. If you watched that movie... No. No, I had a... But I liked that you knew what I was talking about. Yeah, I watched it in the last five years, I like that you do what I was talking about. Yeah, I watched it in the last five years. I know. I know the three burials.

The last five years of life. Oh, yeah, of this wave writing. I guess this idea with the surfboard in a ball bag, I guess what you were saying is that some cars have ball bags. Some people clearly want to do that. Yes. Therefore, there must be a market for having ball bags. Some people clearly want to do that. And therefore, there must be a market for having ball bags on things. Exactly, thank you.

And so then it's all about figuring out. And this is, you know, because this is probably the early days of putting ball bags on things. Yes. Like this is the introductory world of it. Any form of transport in theory. Exactly. If we were in the boardroom for people

who successfully put the ball bags on the car, yeah, but you could imagine a time 25 years from now, when that industry has developed, where it's mature. They say, now this year, we will have putting ball bags on things as a three billion dollar industry. Right? And long gone are the days of just putting ballbags on a, you know, like the bull bar of a big four-wheel drive, you know, or something like that. Do you think that by this point, the president of the United States will have a ball bag on the back of their, you know, motorcade? It depends how well it is in, how well connected they are.

But I think that they would look back at those times as being very primitive. And at that point, people were only doing it for aesthetic reasons, right? But as the industry develops, like with the surfboard, they've discovered that there actually are purposes that you could have for putting ball, but that is on things like to read. Is this how any industry,

I think this is the opposite of all how almost every industry progress. You know, I think that there's a possibility that sometimes you can get it in industry. Just looks for a real find we'll find the functions later. Yeah, I think we've turned at this heaps of really good valid reasons to put ball bags on things. Yeah, this feels like a conversation you'd have to have at a date on a date where your date has asked you why you've got a ball bag on the back of your table. Actually, there's lots of really good reasons to do it. Could you imagine like one of those squirrel suits that they have that's this is the thing for jumping out of a dereplared. They're playing bass jumping things like that and they realize they've discovered. But actually, if it's a bunch of ball bags on

there, it actually is really good. You don't need to have as much cloth. No, wow. Going all the way around. You just have this thing, it flaps, and it kind of slows you down enough that you can do the first jump without a parachute. Ad-land.

It's incredible. You know, because the ball bags maybe take sort of like an arrow foil shape and allow you to land. I'm just suggesting that there's ways because I mean, clearly there's a reason for humans to have them all back. Clearly, we don't know what it is yet. Well, I hooked up one day, find out. Well, you know, so there's one one that we know is that it helps with cooling these things. Well, what about parts of the car that need cooling? Obviously, that's very good idea. And mean, it's like, it's a helicopter.

We no longer have the radiator at the front, but maybe we still need a little back. Put the computer chips that control the computer in there. Right. Let's say you're overclocking your text Tesla. Yeah. Okay. So that you can go super fast and play lots of video games whilst driving. Right.

Do a speed run of both Mario Kart and Chicago. Chicago at the same time. Exactly. And then, but because you've overclocked it, your computer's running too hot. So what you do is you then slip your chip, take a lot of the wiring, just push it down into an additional ball bag that you just hangs below the car. Hang below the car. Just as you go along nice and quick, all the air rushes past it.

Cool. There's a lot of dissipates, all that heat, car blood vessels. Yeah. In there. Cooling, fluent vessels. Cool, fluent, cooling fluids, things like that. And then you realize, well, on a hot day, people are getting hot. And only their testicles are called are in a nice temperature. I wouldn't be at all surprised if Elon isn't listening to

this podcast and making notes. Yeah. Well, this all happened. I think it would be a great thing to see him achieve. I mean, you know, he's willing to put computer chips into a person's head. Mm. Well, not into a car's ball bag. Yeah, into a ball bag for a car. It feels hypocritical. Well, I'm just saying. I'm just very leased.

You can see that he's already going in the right direction. If you dangle a head upside down, it kind of is the shoulder's ball bag. Okay. Yep. I'll just give you one more second. It's got that kind of neck, the kind of neck, and then the ball, this area. And you can pull it down into your shoulders, much like pulling up.

Do you think the head is on top of the shoulders like this, as a way of keeping it away, so it's not the same temperature as the full torso? This episode is brought to you by Progressive. Most of you aren't just listening right now. You're driving, cleaning, and even exercising. But what if you could be saving money by switching to Progressive? Drivers who save by switching save nearly $750 on average, and auto customers qualify for an average of seven discounts.

Multitask right now, quote today at progressive.com. Progressive casualty and trans company in affiliates, national average 12 month savings of $744 by new customer surveyed who saved with progressive between June 2022 and May 2023. Potential savings will vary, discounts not available in all safe and situations. So, because I mean, the brain also, like a lot of activity, a lot of energy dissipate a huge amount of energy. It might need, you know, to be as hot, right? Because I mean, it makes more sense to protect the brain with lots of torso. And just have the eyes coming out through where the nipples are. Yeah, it really does. You know, like that. And then, you know, obviously, the tongue comes out

through the belly button. And then, those is just below the rib cage. The stonum area. You see, like that. And then, it's a big kind of, you know, the bigger the belly, the more protected your... Tonnes. Your tongue is, you know, the rest of your body.

It's like that. You see, but instead, they put it it on top and I think it's for, that's why the head is there because it's sort of like a shoulder ball bag. And I'm saying down shoulder ball, ball bag. Of the shoulders. Of the shoulders, yeah. Yes. As I think of my, the main current ball bag, I think of that as being the ball bag of the midriff area.

Midriff, no. Which one? been the ball bag of the midriff area. Midriff, which one? Why the current ball bag existing? The traditional ball bag 1.0, the mainstream ball bag, the meat and potatoes ball bag. I'm not able to write the word development anymore. It's a very interesting department booth in your life. I'm sure.

So yeah, so that's the development of the ball bag industry. Just a development that does that have the word a loop in it? I can't tell from looking at the version I wrote down. The doesn't know, no, no, no, because of where the version I wrote down. No, it doesn't. No, no, no, no, because of where the end is. Do they have envelope in it?

Yeah, probably. Devalump. Venvalump. Yeah, really good. What would that be if that pun was a thing? Do you, the event envelope, but, um, well, it would be to take things out. I mean, I guess I suppose it would be the envelope industry, which would have been

Delta a real blow by email, trying to somehow counter the revolution. You know, they're very much the Nokia of something rather. They're in industry that failed to adapt it would have been taking the blockbuster. There are the codec very cruel of a lot of email apps to use an icon of an envelope. And an envelope. That's very much like putting the head of your deceased enemy on a spike out the front of your castle.

Yes, yes, yes. You know, they're the ones that killed the envelope. And they just turn it into an icon. You could you could imagine a very connected envelope person trying to sort of lobby a politician at the time to force an envelope, an email company to envelope, an email company to use one envelope every time an email was sent. You know, like, they're like, we have to encode this into, because people are going to go out of business. The whole envelope industry is going to collapse. And when they're lobbying that politician, they're sliding that money across the table.

They're not sliding that money across in an email. I love it. No, no. It's in a brown paper bag. They think it's okay if I write that down. Sure. Connected envelope. I think we're well beyond not writing that down, Elis there. Well connected envelope, man. You can't write envelope either. You know, invent lobe. You know what they say in the envelope industry, you lick my back, I'll lick yours. Oh, imagine if they did say, if they did say, hey, you lick my back, and I'll look, I mean, that's, that's going in the sketch. It's in the sketch. Yeah.

Yeah. You lick my back and then fold my top bit down over, over my bottom bit so that they stick together. So wait, that's the. I was thinking about stamps. You're absolutely right. But then that would make more sense with stamps works a lot better. Yeah.

Maybe there's a stamp guy who's having a meeting beforehand. And then before it's much more likely to be Stamp guys really than it is in Valop guys. Yeah, but then maybe if we see that at the beginning, right, as the envelope guy is about to come, he's about to walk into the meeting room and then he realizes already another meeting happening, right? And so as he goes, stamp guy. And he says, the guy says, as a, as the stamp guy, we always say, in the stamp industry, we always say, you lick my back and all the girls. And they go, I didn't get what that means. And they shake hands like that. And so then, then he leaves. And so then he keeps that in his mind. So at the end

of their meeting, it could be a little call back for us. And he says, and we say a little something in the envelope industry, you lick around my mouth. My rim. My rim. And I'll lick around yours. And then he goes, yeah. I guess I mean, clunky, but I like, you know, you get what you mean.

Yeah, great. I had something there for a moment, Alistair. And I was like, God, hold on to this idea. And the hold on to this idea, because this is it, this is what's going to make it for you and Elle. This is going to get you out of here. Oh my God. Out of this whole situation. Yeah, but um, fuck it's gone. and fuck it's gone. You're going in the meeting with a guy, the envelope, the stamp industry, the stamps, sending things.

Oh, no, that's right. I was just gonna say why do greeting cards cost so much? Oh, that's good. We're out of here. Yeah, wasn't that good, was it? I just found it, I just realized that's one of those things that always plagues me. And I feel like they're putting up the prices of greeting cards all the fucking time,

they're continuing to take the piss more and more. I mean, you don't, people talk about a license to print money. You don't need a license to print money, you just need a license to print greeting cards. Because that's even better than printing money. It's much, I imagine, it's much fucking easier. And the profit margins must be absolutely insane. What do you think the profit margins are on making on printing money? Probably pretty good on that as well, actually. Yeah. I think that's a pretty good if I was the meant, I'd only print $100 notes. Well, it would just, it would be more profitable for that. Much more profitable. Yes.

Because I think when you're printing $5, this is the mint go. It costs the same amount. He's talking to the government going, look, to be honest, on-run and this thing, you get me to print fives. You're fucking me on this. And it's cost me seven, every five. I mean it wouldn't be no Depends with the way wages are going up. Mm-hmm. Yeah, fuck it. I'm thinking about printing more hundreds. How could you feel about that? The mint man

Licensed print licenses to print money That would be that would be the the infinity dollar note is actually just a, what it is, is just a big stamp or it's a special kind of magic note that you can rub onto pieces of paper and it turns them into other funny notes. This is sort of like a temporary tattoo type. A temporary tattoo type thing, but one of those like, it's just basically other funny notes. Is it sort of like a temporary tattoo type? To temporary tattoo. Type thing, but one of those like, it's just basically a money stamp. Is that what you're talking about? Money stamp?

Really that band tattoo. Remember the band tattoo? T-18? All the things you say, all the things you say, running through my head. Given how long they survive, they really should have called them temporary tattoo, shouldn't they? I mean, they didn't have the staying power. I mean, that one's... But that song is in there, like a permanent tattoo. Yeah.

Well, they should have called the song permanent tattoo. And then the band called them temporary tattoo. The band called them temporary tattoo. Do you think they would have needed then to put the... I mean, I also remember the band. Yeah, that's true, as well. I wonder how they're doing. But the band themselves weren't permanent. And you know,

and you know, and you can remember a temporary tattoo. I'm not saying a temporary tattoo when it washes off your hand doesn't disappear from your memory. Well, you know, forget it exists. I mean, in that way, I think a temporary tattoo is a fraud and true temporary tattoo would contain also some little bit of rehipnol or something in it. So that you've not only just gone from your skin, it's gone from your memory, your self, your sense of it. If you're a permanent memory, yeah. What's your, I guess, your richest memory of a temporary tattoo you want to add? That's the great question. I have memories of temporary tattoos from my children

have had, but that's not that impressive. I don't have a specific one. Do you have a memory at all? Can you name one temporary tattoo you once had? I have had, no. But that's unfair because I don't remember anything. I love it. I'm just saying, I don't remember a single temporary tattoo I've ever had.

Right then. So what's your point? Well, my point is that they could be, as we've attempted to discredit them, they have the potential to have been actually selling us the perfect product. It is. They weren't kidding about that. Now we have at least five ideas here. Would you like to go to three words?

Yes, I would, please. A listener. A listener. A listener. Now, today's listener is Kieran McFadjian. Kieran. Kieran McFadjian from the United Kingdom. Yes. Listener Galore.

There's a listener's galore in the United Kingdom. But also, I believe that Kieran McFadget is a one, is a one man listener galore. And would you like to try to guess a cure and send in three words? Would you like to try to guess what those three words are? And maybe just start with the first one. But you can start with the second if you want. First word is impale. Impale? No. Unfortunately, there are similar letters though. Okay. We're interested. At least with the A, there's at least one E and an L. All right. The first word is Helena. Helena. Okay. Well, I think it's going to be a Helena Bonham Carter. Helena could be Helena of Troy.

No, that was Helena. So the second word is Bonham. Like John Bonham. Yeah, all like Helena Bonham Carter. So don't get that right. Don't get the second word right. I think you'll go on with that. You got the second word right.

Yes. Helena Bonham, sorry, follows us for that. You did get this. No, I think we're a second word right. Yeah. Helena bottom. Sorry, it follows us for that. You did get this. I think we need to celebrate the woods. Yeah, no, no. What if the third word, what is the word, Carter? Because I feel like you would have told me if the worst word's Carter. So it's charter. Helena, Bonham charter. You think something that you would tell you. Yeah, you can hire whales or something like that. Yeah, but you're dressed all gothic. It's the first glass bottomed and also gothic looking boat. All right.

Let's go. I'm sorry. It's not charter. The third word is Oswald. As he had Lee Harvey. What's the what's the game he's playing there? Is he just chosen two people with three names? I think so. Yeah. That's what my guess is unless it's Pat but I was walked. You see that.

I was walked. Oh, that's true. Hmm. Could be. So that's not the patent. I was walked. No, you're right. That isn't the pattern. Helena Bonham. Oswald. There's there's absolutely no question she would have not not have had a career. If her name was Helena, bottom Oswald, you think she definitely wouldn't she wouldn't she wouldn't she wouldn't

have she wouldn't have made a single she wouldn't have had any career, not just in film and television and the tight. She would haveemployable. Wow. In any field. Yeah. Of endeavor. Even like baking. Even baking. Even baking. Differently. Well, I think you're out of your own. You're not even really participating in daytime. You know, communities. No one ever says my

compliments to the baker, do they? They don't. Well, compliments to the Baker. No. This was a very good head. This was a very good head. Good to. Sorry. Okay.

So now we have to find a question. I'm trying to make a joke about. She made that role her own. We wouldn't have been saying that about her in any sense, baking or the movie Fight club. That's right. Lena Bonham Oswald. Yes, okay. I mean, what if Lee Harvey Oswald had been a woman? Why are they not more female assassins? It's true. It's definitely. Maybe they're just better getting getting, not getting caught. Because you don't assume that they're going to be a theft. Well, I think if a woman was an assassin, she'd probably

assassinate people in a way that was much more psychological. You think so? Destroy their minds. I think you could be right. She'd use soft power. So you think through the way that like a young girl would bully you at primary school or something like that? the way that like a like a like a young girl would bully you at primary school or something like that. Um, yeah, exactly, exactly. Using soft power, like a like a comment that eats away at you, a flesh eating comment. Flesh eating put down. Flesh eating clap back.

Doesn't just play on your mind. Plays on your calf muscles. Ah. No, it doesn't just play on your calf muscles. It plays on your mind, I think, is what you were trying to say, right? For a flesh eating put down. Yeah. Well, I was kind of going from the, from the, I think the listeners will agree with

that. No, but I was, I'm just explaining my reasoning is that I was going from the basis of a, of a put down, which is something that would traditionally play on your mind. And so I was saying the way in which this one is different, that it was also sort of plays on your calf muscles or butt. But I think because of the way the sentence is constructed, flesh eating, the fact that flesh eating is at the start of the sentence. Yeah.

And if there's one thing you've taught me about comedy, is that the punchline has to be at the end. Yeah. So the play. Maybe it is. It also plays on your calf muscle. Oh, forget it. I mean, I understand.

I think I think it's, I'm not going to say that it was the most perfected thing that we've ever done. We'll work on it. And I'll call you see how it's not working. And I'm saying it's a wee, wee. Yeah. But what about this? What about the idea of, would you be okay if I were you?

I don't want to. But you can't hire a, it's very difficult to hire a hit man. And whether or not hit man in general, We'll give out. You can't hire a, it's very difficult to hire a hitman. And whether or not hitman in general, but the idea of, I'm not a hitman, I won't kill somebody. But I will be hired for a much more affordable price to put them down, to say something mean about them. To trip them over publicly.

Trip them over or just yell something out over their fence and then run away. Yeah. I'll damage their self-esteem. Yeah. What about just walk by them and sort of look at them and they're out for up and down and just kind of go, I think this is a really good idea. Yeah. I'll make people feel a little, I'll make them doubt themselves.

Do it for a hundred bucks. Yeah. That's pretty good. I think that's great Somebody are really withering look look them up and down and then look really Disgusted and disappointed put me because there's nothing hit man. That's not illegal as well Hit and run man Like a hit hit to your self-esteem man. Hit to your self-esteem man. So could you hit man for short?

Mm, was there another word? Well, assassin. Assessing with assassin. A character assassin. No. Asshole. Assess. Asshole, assassin.

Mm. I will do the assassin. I put the assassin into assassin. Assassing? Because I'm going to assess you. What about assassin?assassin? Yeah, good. The sassassin.

The sassassin. The sassassin. I use some sass. I put the sassin. But there already is sassin in assassin. But there's already a sassin there, and they put that in a second time. Yeah, that's true. Why stop there? Why not have

three arses in assassin? Ass, ass, ass, ass. And that's a really good assassin. The more ass, the more ass in both in both senses, the one. So that's Helena Bonham Oswald. She's the female sassassin. Sassassin. The sassassin. The sassassin. Do you think it's a sassassin? Give you a real. So such a trebbly word. Sassassin. What about an ass sass sing? Get an ass sassin. Yeah, they will sass your ass. I'll sass your ass. Look at your bum and then they go, they'd have to look at your bum and then walk around in front of you and then go, it's hard to get on. But that's the verb sassin rather than the noun. Yeah. Then it'll be an assassar. Yeah, what assass?

I'm an assassar. This is working really well. Yeah. Do you think that's that's what you should grab this up? Do you want me to read us through the sketch ideas? Yeah, okay. All right. I'll brace myself. We got unkilling unkindness.

I'm killing with unkindness. All right, we got unkilling unkindness. I'm killing with unkindness. Or means bring back your aunt maliciously bringing people back to inconvenience the living. Then we have a palliative care, Jurassic Park. That's where we bring the dinosaurs back, but they come back and they're all very sick and not doing well. They're in pain, but you need to make some of your money back. Then we got Tree DNA Jurassic Park.

Wow, that comes written down. Incredible. I do like to be where they inject all the way through the frog. That's right. That's right. And then they inject the tree way through the frog. That's right. That's right. Then they inject plantry DNA into some dirt. And then then we've got surfboard with a ball bag. At the front, by the way, they can drop in once you've suddenly catch it. Well, they call it dropping into a way. That's right. And so that you can write on top of the crest rather than in front.

Oh, I forgot. That was why that was. And then we've got a separate sketch idea, which is kind of connected to the last one, which is the development of the ballback industry and a different levels on which you can go into. It obviously goes into a place for storing pewter chips. I do love what I love about it. The fact that whenever you do hear about how many billion dollars some fucked up interest industry is worth, it's always exciting. And I think I would love to.

I would love to. I would love to. I would love to. Bigger than the GDP of most African countries. Yeah. Then we've got connected envelope man, getting a politician to force email people to people you know what going about companies to still use envelopes and then of course that's where he's about to walk in and his ears and you look my back all the way from a stamp and say that beforehand you know

golden handshake then we got a-man talking about printing more hundreds because it's more profitable for his mid. Sure. Yeah. Hell area. I think it is funny. I think that is a funny. It's funny.

Yeah. Then we got the flesh eating put down. Pfft. Pfft. Pfft. And then we got the sass ass in. Ah, hit man for put downs, which is very similar to having a flesh eating put down.

But this is more one is created in a lab, the other one is more like a job. It's a job. I don't think it's quite a different idea. You don't think it's different enough? No, I think it is a quite different idea. I think it's different enough. I think if anything, it's two different ideas.

Oh no. Two different ideas. This episode has been too diverse. There's only now 40 episodes left until we have to do 400 episodes. Probably going to be in like July next year. Oh no, that's the stress of entering a 100th episode. Yeah. You just carry around.

You're going to have four kids at that point. Four kids doing 400 episodes. Andy, do you line up the amount of kids that you have with the amount of concerts of episodes? Yes, I do. Actually, yes. I took an off. Well,

D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D- join our Patreon and you can get, you can watch. My client is innocent. My client is innocent. By joining our Patreon, any level. Yeah, and I think there might be some more exciting content, much like that coming to our Patreon very soon. Oh, yeah, because I think they're shutting down SOS presents where we're magma was. So, I mean, there's a chance we're probably just going to upload magma to YouTube regular.

Yeah. But if we can't get anybody's stream, anybody to stream Teleport, then we will probably just put it on the Patreon for a bit. Thank you very much everybody. I hope you're all well. Take care of yourselves. And each other. You can also find us on Twitter,

or on Instagram, and all that kind of stuff. We even have a little account on TikTok. And for at-to-intank, where we posted a couple of clips from this podcast, you like listening to it, imagine the opportunity to listen to less of it on the TikTok. Anyway, take care.

We love you. Bye. See you later. This episode is brought to you by Progressive. Most of you aren't just listening right now. You're driving, cleaning, and even exercising. But what if you could be saving money by switching to Progressive? Drivers who save by switching save nearly $750 on average, and auto customers qualify

for an average of 7 discounts. Multitask right now. Quote today at Progressive.com. Progressive casualty and trans company and affiliates, National Average 12 Month savings of $744 by New Customer Surveyed, who saved with Progressive between June 2022 and May 2023. Potential savings will vary.

Discount is not available in all safe and situations.