Two In The Think Tank - 378 - 'WRONG IS RON"

Episode Date: April 23, 2023

Gustav and Henri Volume 2 is now available to purchase in Australia here!You can support the pod by chipping in to our patreon here (thank you!)Join the other TITTT scholars on the TITTT discord server hereHey, why not listen to Al's meditation/comedy podcast ShusherDon't forget TITTT Merch is now available on Red Bubble. Head over here and grab yourselves some material objectsYou can find us on twitter at @twointankAndy Matthews: @stupidoldandyAlasdair Tremblay-Birchall: @alasdairtb and instaAnd you can find us on the Facebook right here Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Product availability may vary by region. See app for details. Hello and welcome to two of the Think Tech, the show where we come up with five sketch ideas. I'm Andy. And I'm Alistair Trombley, George William Burchell. Sometimes it's hard to remember all the order of the whole order of my whole name. Man, you must tune out, I reckon, halfway through that thing. Oh yeah just i'm not even sure if i've bothered tuning in a lot of the time you know i just started yeah yeah i for those of us just tuning in to life hey i was thinking we

spend a lot of time plugging things on this show but But then we never unplug them, do we? Oh, that's true. We just keep plugging them in. That's got to be an electrical hazard. Oh, absolutely. I think by this point. Yeah, that's a really good point. Okay, let's unplug everything that we've plugged up until this point. Before we plug anything else, let's just take a moment. Let's just, yeah, to unplug.

Wait, but before we do, though, do you still want people to uh gustav and henry or does this affect you in no way now um uh well very soon uh pete and i will be exclusively selling gustav and henry through our own website so you can look forward to to that being able to purchase it directly from Pete and I, and send an enormously larger proportion of the cost directly to us. Well, because since I don't have the second one yet, this will be a great way for me to get it. Yes. But does that also mean that if you give it to me for free, you take an even larger loss? Amazingly, yes. Somehow.

Did you have to buy out the remaining books or something in order to make this happen? You know what, Alistair? I haven't up until this point made public the fact that Gustav and Henry has been remained by the publishers. But if you do want to bring that up on the podcast. No, but I didn't, like, I assume that every book at some point stops being printed. Yes, that's true. I don't think anybody. The Bible is still doing okay, but yeah, other than that.

I mean, I even reckon that they're struggling a little bit. I was hoping to outlast the Bible. I don't think the Bible necessarily sold its most copies in its first couple of years. That's true. Yeah. So, I think you just got to wait for it to take off a bit. Sometimes you got to just like take your foot off the pedal for a couple of years and let people form a religion around what you've written.

Has anybody optioned the Bible for a TV series? Why isn't Amazon doing that? It must be, you know. I mean. They could do, you know, they can turn anything into a show these days, even the Bible. Especially something like that that has such an extended universe, so many characters. You know, like have like a couple of TV series that follow Paul. Yeah.

Oh, wow. Imagine that. Yeah. You know, some Mary Magdalene shows, you know, like a baby movie. I'd love to see a series that shows like what do the wise men go and do after. Yeah, I would love to see some stuff about the wise men. Actually, those are the only characters I'm interested in. What made them wise?

Oh, a prequel about their education leading to their wisdom. Yeah, how did they get so wise? Did they undergo some difficulty? It can be called Three Dumb Boys. It's going to their wisdom. Yeah, how did they get so wise? Did they undergo some difficulty? It can be called Three Dumb Boys. It's going to be great. Oh, it's like Dumb and Dumber meets the Three Amigos. Yeah, they're just three dumb boys living in the hood of, I guess, Arabia? Yeah.

From Orient. They were from the Orient, right? Were they from the Orient? They're in China. Yeah, we three kings of Orient are. Oh, right. Yeah. Why did they talk like that?

I mean, I suppose they're wiser than me. Why would I question them? I think that they were so wise, they that before long they were going to have to drop in a rhyme with the word star yeah that's true yeah you know they were thinking about the future they were laying the groundwork a golf joke um about something you know on par something like that i don't know it's just i think they knew that R is a more abundant rhyme, sentence end. Yes. Yes.

Do you think that they were friends? Wise investment. Do I think that they were? Friends. Friends, the three kings. Yeah. Yeah, that's interesting. Because it's hard when you're a king because you probably don't get to see each other that much

because you're usually in your own kingdom, which by its very nature is quite a distance away, you know, if you're successful, from other kingdoms. You don't tend to put your castle like right on the edge. I wonder if all the world's kings have a chat thread, you know? Yeah, yeah. kings have a chat thread you know yeah like it it would be nice if the king of tonga and you know denmark and and king charles do you think they would have a debate whether or not they would let any sultans in oh um yeah i think that i think they probably have a separate thread that they tell. They don't tell the Sultans that they've got another king's only thread.

Yeah. Do you think the king thread is called Go Off Kings? In my mind, he's going to kill it. Yeah, I think it is. It's called You Drop This. I think it is. It's called You Dropped This. And I think, I feel like we should get to, we should call King Charles,

I feel like we should call him King Prince Charles. I don't, to me, he's still Prince Charles. I can't, I'm sorry. Like if you've been Prince Charles until you're what, like 75 or some shit yeah you're not gonna you're not you're not shaking it that quickly i'm afraid yeah you can't be prince charles for that long and then suddenly became charles yeah yeah yeah it's got to be pretty maybe he could become prince charles senior prince charles major prince charles major yeah i just feel yeah he's kind of just becoming more Prince Charles Senior. Prince Charles Major. Prince Charles Major, yeah.

I just feel he's kind of just becoming more of a slightly more evolved version of Prince Charles. Is this a Pokemon type thing? I don't know. Maybe. Wait, Andy, have we had a clear idea yet? Because I haven't written anything down so far. I think we've had about eight or nine yeah really solid sketch ideas okay yeah so like what what is like one of them that you

could remember one of the more solid ones oh gosh i mean they're all there it's almost that mr bones the three sturges syndrome there are so many um great ideas crowding into my head right now that I almost can't get one out of my mouth. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's okay. Yeah, yeah. What about all the world's kings having a chat thread on WhatsApp? Yeah, so king chat thread, that's enough. Yeah, okay.

King chat thread. They probably have some special royal version of WhatsApp. Do you think they send each other articles when somebody says something about you know like not wanting you know like there's an article in the guardian or something like that where they say oh uh jamaica is saying they don't want to be under commonwealth rule and then like the king of the world would be a version of signal right called signet s-i-g-n-e-t yeah i'm gonna look that up and find out what that means and

then i'll be right there hang on yeah great well i'm really excited for you to stop. Wait, S-I-G-N-E-T? N-E-T. I'm really excited for you to start laughing when you've done the research. The seal, especially one set in a ring, used instead to do the signature to give authentication. Oh, wait, the royal seal formerly used for special purposes in England and Scotland later.

The seal, of of course in session yeah that's good yeah the uh the I mean I only count those laughs, by the way, the ones that you do later after some research. Oh, man. Those are so good because, you know, it occurred to me that if you go to a show and you, or you watch a show and there's a joke and you know that it's a joke, but you don't get it i think that that

stays with you more this is my new theory is that actually because then you go i want to know why that person thought that was a joke yes right yes and so and i get that in the moment that does is not good for you right people in your crowd not getting your joke but then later on that's motivation for research and people will then go out and they will find out what the meaning of whatever word you used was because it seems like i can only write wordplay now a guy who was once at some point completely against wordplay if you listen to early episodes of this podcast, I would laugh at the idea of anybody doing any wordplay. And now, the only compliment that I've got after shows is, I really love that wordplay.

That's not the only compliment you've got, Alistair. I know for a fact that I have told you lots of nice things about your show. But I don't consider what you say to be nice because I know you like me and you're invested in me and you don't want me to crumble. That's true. Yes, the compliments of people that you like, they mean nothing. You need sworn enemies to be laughing. You need me to be able to do shows by myself because you might be out of the game for even longer than you thought.

I'm already working on another child, Alistair. Andy, I know you are. I know you're working on a child, and I wouldn't be surprised if you're trying to recruit a couple of other dogs for your house. Hey, Andy, how many dogs do you have now uh look i i barely i barely know when to start counting you know because i count from the legs i you know from the ground up whenever i scan it whenever i scan the dog i don't know where it ends i don't know and dog

begins i just assume you live in a big one of those hedge bases. And my dog has an enormous bush. Why don't dogs have pubic hair? Maybe they do. Maybe somewhere in amongst all that other hair, if we looked closely

enough, there would be I'm actually taking my dog to the groomer and i'm saying give this dog this dog some landing strip i want the entire dog shaved except for like a little brazilian yeah what is the is the brazilian no hair or is the brazilian no hair it's not okay well then i don't want that then i want i want something with like i want my dog to only have pubes yeah i mean i i think that even just getting a little patch of like taking the hair that might be around the schlong and and dog pussy apologies to to go, can you coarsen up this hair and curl it? Yeah.

And I want that. You know what I want. I mean, do I have to spell it out for you? You know what I want. Yeah. I mean, I think if you go in. Give me the dog bush. And if you wink three times, they know.

This isn't their first rodeo down at the Scruffy's Dog Groomers in Belan. That's right. Because I'm sick of my dogs looking like children. I want my dogs to look like adults and have a full bush. I think dogs, if you look at the dogs' underarms, I think they actually have less hair under there. Yeah. Isn't that weird?

But they might still have some. I don't know if they have a full underarm. I don't think theirs folds quite as much over the skin as ours i think it folds a fair bit does it yeah i mean i i'll pick up one of the dogs in the house and i'll have a good look and i'll send some photos because i just assume it comes straight out of the tube you know like their their torso tube you know so it's less like starts like up the top and then has a i know a leg or an arm that goes down along the tube but whereas that i just assume that it goes up into the tube and so emerges from the tube and then you have less fold you know you have less like hidden away, less place where you can hide an egg.

I'm trying to picture what you're saying, Alistair. I mean, I don't consider the whole underarm. I'm not sure where the underarm stops, right? You don't? You know, for us, if you have your arm by your side, right? I mean, you know, typically, you know, the whole side of your body is all underarm. If your wrist is up against your hip, do you consider that to be underarm? I do.

Or is it under wrist? Yeah, I consider... I've shaved my under wrist. That's when you're shaving your hip. Imagine that. Imagine if you had hair in every joint of the body. Anywhere the body folds. Inside every knuckle, you had a little bit of pubic hair.

Inside the wrist there, you had some. In the elbow, you had pubic hair. Under the neck, you know. Yeah. Back of the knee, pubic hair. Underneath every toe, pubic hair. Do I need to keep going? Do you consider the armpit hair to be pubic

i i think i think most people do really yeah i hadn't thought about that i mean i guess it is slightly closer to the to the consistency of pubic hair but i don't know if it has that same curl and i don't know if it has the same curl and i don't know if it has the same thickness i think you get a particular thickness i think what we're gonna have to do is we're gonna have to lay some out side by side in a sommelier type situation oh so like we're gonna go and believe me some of them are gonna be sommelier than others and and try and see if the the sommelier the the pubic sommelier can tell you which part of the body so you want them to taste or do you because i think i don't i don't care how they do it i don't care how they do it i guess guess they have to. They drop it in. They sprinkle it into a glass.

And then they swill it around in the glass. Just these are the pubes. I'm not saying that there's liquid in there. I'm not saying that they're putting it in a bit of water. Nobody's thinking that, Alistair. Of course not. That's crazy. Yeah.

I'm just saying it's a clean glass. And then they move it around. And then they put their around and then they then they put their nose over it they smell it like that and then they bring it into their mouth and they go because i think that they're probably the tongue is more sensitive than the fingers in terms of touch oh sure sure the one difference with sommelier the traditional wine sommelier is that they don't spit it out. They swallow it.

Oh, right. Yeah, yeah. And then they let it get caught in the back of their throat. Yeah, they cough it up. That's the only way they do it. And then they pull it out with their fingers. This kind of like the uh the pepsi challenge isn't it but this is this comes from big underarm here um they're big pit because you know like one of those things when you get an ad for like you know corn or something like that it's like you know

something that people would buy anyway or like lamb or something like that. It's like, you know, something that people would buy anyway or like lamb or something like that. And then you go, I can't believe that that, just like a thing just has a, you know, money behind it. And so... It has a whole team. This is the underarm hair board that are trying to promote underarm hair and as pubic hair. I don't know why. Yes, they're trying to promote underarm hair as pubic hair.

I don't know why. Yes, they're trying to increase the awareness of the fact that it is pubes, right? Yeah. Well, they want it to be considered pubes because they get that extra bump. And when I say the bump, I mean the mons pubis. Ah, the pubic bump. They get that pubic bump. Mons.

Mons. It means mountain, doesn't it? Yeah. Imagine if you went to Olympus Mons in, oh, we've already done this joke, haven't we, on our podcast? We did this on the pop test. Might never have gone out. Might have been part of the pilot episode, do you think? Might have been this on the pop test we might never have gone out might have been part of the pilot episode might have been part of the park because we had geraldine geraldine

hickey on it and i'd heard her talk about her mons pubis before which is why i feel like i catered this this very question to her olympus mons pubis olympus Mons is the tallest mountain in the solar system, and it's on Mars from when they had a more active inner planet. Do you think that the ice caps of the Earth, of any planet, the ice caps are the pubic hair of the planet interesting i find it hard to picture that well i i think i think that you know being at sort of at that at those extremes yeah but that's not where pubic areas are it's like the opposite of where pubic

no yeah okay all right. Well, then that doesn't help me. I wonder if the hair in the belly button is pubic hair. But there's no hair in the belly button, is there? Oh, Alistair. Do you have hair in your belly button? I've got it sort of around. Yeah, around, Andy. Yeah, I will agree with around.

No, you're right. You're right. There's none in there. I thought there was. But what about ear hair? That ear hair that people get that starts coming out of the ear. Yeah. Well, I mean, this is like the European Union, isn't it?

Like every bit of the body that produces hair is now trying to, applying to be considered pubic. Yeah, they're creating the third superpower of the body you got your skin yeah you got your vital organs and now the hairs are trying to unionize well i feel like you know the hair on the head maybe you know the hair on the head is probably the United States. I would say the beard and the eyebrows, those are probably Europe. But, you know, then if all the pubes get together, they will be able to, you know, they'll present a credible challenge. Do you think the pubes is China?

Maybe the pubes is China. They've had a century of humiliation and they're sick of it. One underarm is Australia, the other underarm is is you know, I don't know, Japan? Sure. India.

Probably India. I don't know why I'm putting us on on par with India. We're a very small country. You know, India's... Yeah, sorry, go. No, I've got nothing else. You know, India just became the most

populous country. Isn't that crazy? I feel like there should have been a bigger deal made about that. Yeah, because wait, it wasn't that long ago. It was like 1.4 China, and then it was like 1 billion India. Yeah. Now, how did they, like, where's China now at?

Well, they had that one child policy, right? And they, you know, I think that massively slowed everything down yeah and and you know cult it's hard to start that back up again yeah that's true yeah because because a lot of these people have been in relationships for a long time wait do you think isn't it interesting they had a one child policy but they also have a one china policy yeah yeah they just like one of things don't they yeah that, that's true, yeah. Maybe soon they'll give up on the one China policy as well and they'll say two

Chinas. Oh, you can have two or three Chinas. Actually, we're really encouraging people to have two or three Chinas. Two or three Chinas now, actually. You know, because that will ease the tension with Taiwan and avert a world war. Oh, God, it would be Taiwan and avert a world war.

Oh, God, it would be good to avert a world war. Do you think, I'm sure people have made this joke before, but do you think that during World War I, right, everyone was, I don't know how to structure it, but like everyone was a little apprehensive. Yeah, it's about the one. Do you think that was making everyone a bit nervous? Why do we keep saying World War I? I mean, we're also calling it the war to end all wars, right?

Why are we also calling it World War I? I'm just a bit worried that we've left this open to a sequel. All right, Philomena Kunk. All right. Who am I doing a podcast with here? Philomena Kunk over here. Kunk over here. Why don't you fall down a hill?

Have we written down any sketch ideas, Alistair? Yeah, I've written three things down. Dogs groomed to have bushes. We got pubic hair sommelier, underarm hair Pepsi test. Wow. That's the same part of the same idea. Then we got kink chat thread. Yes, good.

Let's go more global now andy yeah sure and let's picture yourself on a catamaran and so there's yes two hulls there's two hulls yeah i always picture a catamaran has three parts touching the water, but it's not, is it? No, you're thinking of a triamaran. I am thinking of a triamaran. And you know what? And I take back everything I said about a catamaran. I want you to picture a triamaran.

Oh, okay. Here we go. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I'm having a great time. Now, when you picture that, how many of those hulls can you picture yourself able to get into? How many are big enough?

Yeah, well, I think in a triamaran, very often, very often, it's only the central hull that you get into. And the two outer hulls are, they're more, you know, outriggers or pontoons. Yeah, yeah, yeah. For extra stability. Here we go. This is what makes this a sketch idea. Okay, I'm really excited. These are three hulls that you can go into.

Wow. Yeah. Go into any one of those three hulls. And it's the first trimaran that can turn into a mon... That each one can turn into a monomaran. Monomaran. Yeah. Dylan Moran.

Is he part of the trimaran familyan family yeah he's part of the triomeran family and the what's the other one catamaran death is in our air this year's most anticipated series fx's shogun only on disney plus we live and we die we control nothing beyond that an epic saga based on the global best-selling novel by james clavelle to show your true heart is to risk your life when i die here you'll never leave japan alive fx's shogun a new original series streaming february 27th exclusively on disney plus 18 plus subscription required. T's and C's apply.

Bob Catamaran. Forget it. Forget that. There is an author called Catamaran, I think. Yeah, but okay, so how is Dylan Moran? Dylan Moran, which is probably his actual name. How is he like a boat? Well, he comes to Australia sometimes.

Oh, he does come to Australia, yeah. That's a very boaty thing. He contains water, but he does also have water splash on him a lot, probably when he's showering. You know, he sometimes seems like he's unstable, You know, he sometimes seems like he's unstable, but he's always able to return, you know, to achieve balance. Nah, it's terrible. That's fucking awful.

Sorry about that. Disappointed with you. As I sat back and just listened to that. Didn't help. Oh, the disappointment in me was rising, and I thought, God, I've wasted this offer on this poor riff man. Poor riff man? Poor riff man. Would you consider yourself a riff man? Yes, it's the riff man's dilemma.

um yes it's the riffman's dilemma i had this i i tweeted something at angus gordon recently it was about you know how people write um uh erotic slash fiction where they imagine two um characters from maybe from different or from the same uh you know fictional universe in an erotic relationship yeah you know but that so i what this i was saying what i what i like to do is i like to write speculative riffs between uh between comedians from rival podcast networks who would otherwise never appear on the same podcast. That's a great idea, Andy. Have you already spent this on Angus? I mean, it was in the third reply to a tweet that he had done.

Also, this is a pre-published idea. Yeah, this isn't first look you know this is that's okay but i do like the idea a lot previously broadcast i'm writing yes i mean straight away you know you write your writer you we could probably do this with with ai you know those ai voice things we could we could generate completely fictional they're perfect i mean we do the writing we do the writing we do the writing but we'd let the ai do that voice thing you know like that guy did with that hip-hop rap right no i don't know that oh someone did a fake rap between the weekend and drake or something

like that where he used his voice and then he applied some ai technology to turn the voices into their voices or it's very fucking it makes you despair but you know we could write um right riffs you know who who would who i mean who are there who are the greats that you'd love to hear them riff together but they but but it can only happen in the in oh it would be great to hear my mind You know, whenever Marc Maron gets a little bit excited and he does kind of like, you know, he forgets that he's above a riff for a moment, you know, and he allows himself to get into a riff, I think that would be a great one.

Yeah. And then he... Oh, he lets himself go. But the power of the riff, this is great for the sort of the erotic side of it not that this is erotic but like the idea that somebody is is overcome by the urge to riff you know maybe they're just trapped in an elevator together right and they look at each other and you could see the hunger in their eyes to riff. Yes.

Yeah, there you go. Their palms are sweaty. How, what are their knees like, Alistair? Eh? Well, if their palms are sweaty, I want to know what their knees are like. Oh, their knees are very stiff. Oh, okay. Oh.

Very stiff knees. What's on their sweater? What kind of vomit is on their sweater? One is wearing a Cosby sweater because the other one is Bill Cosby. Oh, wow. A rift between Mark Maron and Bill Cosby in an elevator. Because, I mean. Oh, the elevator's broken down.

The people aren't going to be there for two hours what are they going to do oh i think actually that does feel powerful because then they're dealing with a a difficult situation and they're dealing with it through humor yeah and you know for for marin it would probably be very awkward at first because he's like, oh, my God, this is this horrible man, Bill Cosby. But now he's trapped with him. So he can't allow his judgment to put him in a position where he's hostile towards him while he's locked in this space with him. And so he's got to. So now it's the forbidden riff.

Oh, yes. There's something about it, so now it's the forbidden riff. Oh, yes. There's something about it being so wrong that it's so right. Yeah. I mean, you know, he probably has in the back of his mind the knowledge that if any of this, like, security cameras footage could ever get out, he, you know, his career could be ruined for riffing with Bill Cosby like this, but this is how desperate a scenario it is.

A leaked riff tape. Oh, that would be so scandalous. They just want to riff each other's clothes off. And go down a train of thought on each other. Oh, yes. Exploring one another's minds with their tongues. And then exploding. By tongues, I mean using them to say words.

And then exploding. Come out of their penises. come out of their penises. See, this is exactly the kind of riff that they would get into, that terrific punchline. Unexpected, yet so expected. So wrong, yet so right. So wrong.

Yes, also wrong in a way that I enjoy. That I consider right, even though it is wrong. Wrong. It is very wrong. Wrong. I find it so wrong. How much of a G can you pronounce in the word wrong before it starts to sound wrong? Yeah. You know? I mean, some people do pronounce the g's at the end of these words yeah you can feel just a bit of it

there a bit of residual it's like it's a piece of structural um you know sometimes you buy something that's been made out of plastic and they've pumped it into the mold and there must have been a little hole that they used to inject it into the mold and there must have been a little hole that they used to inject it into the mould. And there's just that extra little bit of plastic that you can see that was in the inlet. A little nipple floor. A little nipple floor, you know, that you might be able to break off or normally they would maybe sand down or something like that. That's what, when you pronounce that G in the wrong, that G was just there for structural reasons to stop the end from escaping yeah and a lot of it is because you just we don't want you saying wrong

yeah we want you say wrong i get that in there right but you don't go wrong that's crazy that's like That's like... Isn't that amazing that wrong, it has a silent W on the start and a silent G on the other end. Oh, yeah. It does feel like, you know, the W and the G are sort of heavies. They're sort of...

They're bouncers or like security guards stopping anybody from getting to the Ron in the middle. The Ron is being shepherded everywhere by these. Do you think? You'd love this with a bit of your wordplay that you do in your show, Alistair, an observation like this. This is Don Ron. He's got a big W and a big G, but it's actually disguised as a little g. Oh, sure.

Little g. Little g. And it's also probably like, I guess, how many sentences do you think that have ever been written that start with the word wrong? Do you think it's hard to come up with sentences that start with wrong? A sentence that starts with the word wrong. I was trying to picture situations in which you would use a capital W at the front of wrong. Yeah, okay. What can we say? Wrong footed on the way to the shops.

Alan was surprised to see, you know, it's a fucked sentence. Wrong, said Emilio. Yeah, or I mean if you can put it in a sentence, you know, if it can just be somebody saying something. If you consider somebody saying something to be a sentence, Alistair, I personally don't. I don't think of the spoken word as being sentences. No?

No, no, it's got to be written down for me. The written word. I'm a written word guy. Do you ever write down the stuff that you say on the podcast? Sure, sure. Yeah? I transcribe everything, every word. Can you send that to me so that I can – I'm not even going to bother finishing that sentence.

I don't care. Jeez, okay, wait, wait, wait. Was, oh, wrong is kind of, that wrong thing is kind of interesting. I think that there's something in that. Wrong is wrong in between some muscle. Yeah, a couple of silent letters. Strong silent types there. On either side.

Bodyguards. I don't know why and where that would be useful, but I feel like you and I of anyone that I have ever met would be able to find a place for that somewhere. Oh, well that's the Ron from Wrong. I think that'll, you know, that'll turn into something

in the next engineering show, Alistair. Yeah. Particularly as there is a structural way of looking at it. You could write a kid's book about it, right? Silent letters. You definitely could write a kid's book about silent letters. Yeah. What are all the silent letters?

What if they actually started to be able to speak silent letters? You know, you could do it about a silent letter. You could what? You could focus on one silent letter who never gets pronounced and as such feels overlooked. Parents would love this shit, right? Like the B in subtle? Like the B in subtle.

Nobody ever says subtler. I pronounce every letter equally subtler is it you who who calls spiderman spiderman no i've never said spiderman oh you did you have batman you had no i mean you know everybody has batman i live at near bat Station, which is Batman Station, but named after the really horrible man who established Melbourne. Yeah. Andy, we technically have five sketch ideas. I could go to three words from a listener

if that's something that you would be interested in. Sure. Anyway, I'm just telling the listeners, if they don't already do this this it's fun to call spider-man spiderman yes and you can take that into your everyday life i'm not sure who if i stole that off somebody i probably have spiderman well that sounds like spider-man doesn't it all right um today's words come from Dr. Jimbry I think you do maybe you have called Spiderman Spiderman yeah I have called Spiderman Spiderman

before yeah but I don't feel like I've originated that I think I've definitely seen it a little bit do you know about Dr. Jimbry Dr. Jimbry I've been um do you know about dr jimbry dr jimbry as one of the meaning to speak to you yeah um could you look at this back um all right do you want to guess what three what were the first of the three words from Dr. Jimbree are.

Okay, the first word is Dracula. Dracula. God, you're close. It's surgeon. Oh, surgeon. Regrets. Surgeon regrets. No, Andy, it's surgeon nods.

Surgeon regrets. No, Andy, it's surgeon nods. Surgeon nods. Suggestively. Andy, it ends in that kind of adverbial way that you just used. It's comprehendingly but then there's some extra words in brackets it says are you ready for this this is i think our first extra words in brackets highly unorthodox so surgeon nods comprehendingly in brackets 30 years old Gemini oh my goodness like like could you picture that being the thought inside the surgeons head as these as

they're nodding you know because i think initially my thought was to picture the the surgeon being 30 years old and a gemini but i like to think sure that it's the thought you see these brackets here where the 30 years old gemini are i like to consider that the the way that jim dr jim br is – and this is a doctor telling us this – that they're using that as a way of signifying the brain and that the 30-years-old Gemini is what the surgeon is thinking when they're nodding, comprehending, right? Well, yeah, I mean, my mind is inclined to go towards something where, like, you know, somebody's star sign or, you know, yes, what part of the zodiac they're from has medical significance, right? And maybe they're in the course of performing surgery on this person and their vital signs are dropping

and they take another look at the chart or somebody runs in with some extra medical information that confirms that they are a Gemini. Yeah, he goes, do I cut the blue esophagus or the red esophagus? The idea that you're cutting the esophagus in general is very funny. He's got the throat wide open you know and he's got two esophaguses here quick it it made me think of my mind i'm sorry about this but i've gone to a an emergency i was thinking like because i wanted to think of the explosion component of this, you know, if you're trying to defuse a bomb. But I was thinking about an emergency vasectomy, you know.

Somebody, oh, how about this? We've talked about going back in time to jerk off Hitler's dad, right? Sure, yeah. So that Hitler's never born. But what if this, you get back in time, you send back a vasectomy team, right, to try and perform a vasectomy on Hitler's dad while he's fornicating. For whatever reason, the time machine could only go back to a very, very specific time, which is during the sex that's taking place, okay,

between Hitler's parents. And you send back some sort of team of crack vasectomy guys and they try and perform a vasectomy on Hitler's dad while he's- On a moving testicle bag. On a moving ball bag, okay. And keyhole surgery. These guys are the best, yeah. He also has to not notice.

Yeah, yeah, exactly. I mean, that just makes it all the more difficult, right? Oh, that is. But you've got, you know, all the tubes, they're moving around there, they're jiggling, okay? And you've got somebody talking to you through the headphones trying to tell you which testicular tube to cut, right? Because you don't know which of of the balls the hitler sperm

is going to come out of of course yeah yeah and it definitely has the feeling of like a armageddon style movie yeah it's definitely we had to get a a crack team of of moils and versectomy surgeons yes um and send them i don't know if moils are going to want to be involved in this it doesn't feel like i know but they were like at the very i've made a mistake but let's just say they're like an emergency moil i know they at worst cause At worst they can snip off the end of his penis. But not circumcision style. To try to maybe get enough blood in there that it could also disrupt. Yeah, sure, okay.

I think the fact that you're coming up behind Hitler's dad without him noticing. With a big team of people. It might just be one guy. It might just be one guy. Like, there might be other support crew, but there's only one guy who goes in, you know, like when you're defusing a bomb.

Who actually does the surgery. He's in there. Yeah. Imagine having to open up the bag open up the bag without the guy noticing like a little scalpel and yeah yeah that's armageddon style I mean, it's crazy that that was the only time we could send the time machine back to. It's possible there are some kind of cosmic resonances, you know, about the nature of the universe. We might discover there are certain rifts and wormholes that can take you back to very specific moments.

And, you know, this is the only chance that we had. I think that there's a chance that if ever time travel is possible, it will consume so much energy that you might only get one shot. Yeah. You know, you got to go back, you got to fix one thing. Yeah. You know, you got to go back. You got to fix one thing.

But also, the problem is that if you go back in time and save all the people, this is the problem with trying to go back now and save all the people who died in the First World War, or during the Hitler. Is that all of those people will now be so, even if they survived, they'd be so old, they would be dead anyway. So then all you're doing is going back in time and fucking up your life? Yeah. So all you're doing is like,

what we should do is go back in time and make sure none of the people that live now ever are born by changing a thing and so that those people didn't unfairly die so that those people these people don't unfairly live you've discovered some kind of a paradox that's what you've done yeah i mean if we had time if we invented time travel now maybe we could go forward and stop future genocides maybe that's the best that we could hope to do you know but could we do it using hitler's dad hitler's dad yeah yes because i mean if he found

out if he went back in time and told him that his child in the future causes a genocide, he probably would be quite motivated to become one of those people who then goes and stops other parents from having to experience having their kid become a genocider. Because it's so awful. Yeah, sure. It's like if somebody's kid dies from like a drug overdose or whatever like that. They don't want other parents to have to go through that. So then they become an advocate, an anti-drug advocate.

And he becomes a kind of a superhero called Hitler's dad man. Hitler's dad man. Hitler's dad man. Hitler's dad man. Hitler's dad man. They will call him jokingly in the future. All right, Alistair, I think we did it. All right, you ready for me to take you through the sketch ideas?

Should I cut the red esophagus or the blue esophagus? Okay, we got King Chat thread. We got... Yes, King Chat. Dog's groomed to have bushes and pubic hair uh we got pubic hair check out the check out the pubes on that dog on that hot dog i don't know why they suddenly also think the dogs are hot but anyway we got speculative riff fiction marion and cosby in

an elevator we got going at each other wrong is wrong between some muscle bodyguards w and g yes and we've got armaged-style team of vasectomy surgeons doing Hitler's dad. That's it. One, two, three, four, five, six. That's it. That's it, Andy. That's the whole thing. It's done.

It's done. We did it. All right, well, I guess we've got to go to the song. Hey, George, do it this. George, do it this all night. Yeah, you are, you're making it possible, yeah. I don't know what that was. That was really nice.

Thank you. That was really nice. What was the, did you have, did we have, oh, we had an idea for a children's book. Alistair, we've got to try and remember this A children's book about silent letters That's a good idea Can you write that down Yeah children's book A series of children's books

Ah very good That's a much better idea Because once you do one silent letter People will be like Can we get more of these And you don't want to show up They'll be clamoring They'll say can we get a whole series

Because they eventually want to sell a box set You can still sell a box set of books You just can't do it with DVDs really that much Alright Andy Thanks everybody Thank you everybody You just can't do it with DVDs really that much. All right, Andy. All right. Thanks, everybody, for everything. You know, thanks to everybody who has been supporting us on Patreon. Oh, thank you so much.

Sorry we're a bit behind. Chatting with us in the Discord and just being general legends. We love you so much. It's really very, very kind to have listeners. I actually appreciate it more and more and more every day. Me too. Andy had to say that because I was being very quiet after I said that. Yeah.

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