Two In The Think Tank - 394 - "OPENHOMER"

Episode Date: August 19, 2023

Gustav and Henri Volume 2 is now available to purchase in Australia here!You can support the pod by chipping in to our patreon here (thank you!)Join the other TITTT scholars on the TITTT discord server hereHey, why not listen to Al's meditation/comedy podcast ShusherDon't forget TITTT Merch is now available on Red Bubble. Head over here and grab yourselves some material objectsYou can find us on twitter at @twointankAndy Matthews: @stupidoldandyAlasdair Tremblay-Birchall: @alasdairtb and instaAnd you can find us on the Facebook right hereMaximum thangage to George for editing this episode. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It's winter, and you can get anything you need delivered with Uber Eats. Well, almost almost anything. So no, you can't get snowballs on Uber Eats. But meatballs, mozzarella balls, and arancini balls? Yes, we deliver those. Moose? No. But moose head? Yes. Because that's alcohol, and we deliver that too.

Along with your favorite restaurant food, groceries, and other everyday essentials. Order Uber Eats now. For alcohol, you must be legal drinking age. Please enjoy responsibly. Product availability varies by region. See app for details. Hey, yeah. Hey, yeah.

Hey, yeah. Hey, yeah. Hey, hey, yeah. Hey, yeah. Hey, hey, yeah. Hello and welcome to Do It and Think Tank, the show where we come up with five sketch ideas. I'm Andy.

I'm Alistair George William Trombley Birchall. He is. I can vouch for that. I will be a guarantor. Thank you. You will be a justice of the peace and sign. Is that guarantor a you are on the end? Half man.

Half willing to back you up should you default on a loan. It's getting written down. Oh, great. Guarantor AUR. Half man. Half. And it is half willing to back you up on a loan. Yeah, that's right.

I mean, that's, I think that describes me. Yeah. And what's somebody who's full willing to back you up on a loan, but not a man at all? Oh, wow. So, are they a robot or are they being made entirely out of willingness to back you up on a loan? That's probably what it is.

That's how willing they are, that the willingness is able to take a physical form. Oh, great. I think that's what's called a limited liability company. You could take it. Basically, if you have a family trust, that's willingness that has taken on its own identity as an entity. I am a being made of full willingness to back you up on your loan application.

I am able to take any form that you like. However, I have decided to take one in a human form that you would recognize. I am willing to take any form that you like and then sign on the bottom of that form to say that you can pursue me for any unfulfilled financial obligations. My form is that of a form. My form? I will take the form of a loan application form.

No, this is not what you want. Just put the pen in my form. I will fold the paper over the pen and attempt to write. Ah, it is difficult. Fill me in and fill me out.

Fill me up and all about. He's becoming a songwriter. Yeah. He's the guarantor, the being. Fill me in, fill me out, fill me up and all about. Time to sign on the line.

Oh, this is where he got all his money from. That dance hit. That dance hit written by the being of full, made of pure willingness to back you up on a loan application. Who took the form of a form, wrote a song, and then off of the royalties made such a fortune that he became even more willing, especially now. Actually, probably now that he's got money, he becomes less proper money. He becomes less willing because it would be easier to be easier to tune into fortune yeah be easier to be more willing

when you don't have any money do you think i don't know i don't know i mean you i guess that in that case you're willing but you may lack the capacity that's right but i mean that is what you want you want to be a being of pure willingness because then you actually you as you i think what you this is what you're getting at you don't have any assets that can actually be pursued right you don't have a physical form so there's nothing they can get you that's right that would i mean what a dream that's right exactly it's the dream anyway that's what we're trying to head you could get a ghost or something like that, contact the dead and have them countersign for you. Yeah. Now, we entered this podcast in a rush, Andy.

We entered this podcast. You know that. You know this. Not only because I've been postponing the beginning of the podcast for the last hour and 45 minutes, pushing us well into the territory of probably don't have enough time to get this podcast recorded. But because we then went into a weird conversation about God's penis size and then his decision to create, you know, what size penis every single person

and what size vagina every single person has. But then we started talking about the size of the human anal cavity, the rectum. And we were talking about, the size of the human uh anal cavity the rectum and we were talking about you know whether or not you could um uh you know through analysis of the anal uh the rectum cavity decide on what the perfect size meal you should be eating uh is i think that's i think that's why they call it analysis it's analysis yes that's right i mean that's what i guess that's why they call it analysis. Analysis, yes, that's right. I mean, I guess that's what aliens do when they come here and probe us. They say, we are trying to do this thing you call analysis.

What? You say that analysis is important, and so we try, and now you criticize us for these techniques that you inspired. we try and now you criticize us for these techniques that you inspired is that you edna mode the fashion designer from the animated series the incredibles no i'm sorry it's me is me again the being of pure willingness i've come here on a spaceship made of reluctance who wouldn't be reluctant going into space it is such a cavity much like the one we are inspecting here on your human anus the cavity that's a reminder of space what you know i think maybe maybe if you could have pure reluctance i'm trying to think about whether or not what would be good about

building a uh a ship out of that i mean maybe pure reluctance would be the perfect material because it would resist your attempts to to change it in any way right so it couldn't be pulled apart by gravitational forces or anything like that because of its pure reluctance. I guess that's what attractive forces are, is a reluctance to be apart, to be alone. That's something we can all relate to. That's right. But then we can also relate to sort of forces that push things apart apart which is a reluctance to be with others repulsive forces you know yeah you know so i can they are repulsive i can get along with uh both you know i think i can really relate to both gravity and to the uh the one where between two

like uh poles of magnets. Yeah, I can relate to gravity because it's enormous. It takes a lot to, wait, hang on, no, that doesn't work. To summon any kind of, any energy at all or whatever, any force at all. Yeah, you know, it can be a big mass but be very weak.

Nah, it's nothing. But what we were going to write down based off of this anal cavity thing uh which which made us rush into this uh to this podcast was you said uh what if there was a restaurant that you go in there and they measure your uh your the your anal cavity and then they they serve you a meal based exactly on the size the perfect size that your body has been designed to to eat you know what you'd call this restaurant you'd call it butt loads um of course of course you would not there's

no more appealing a name i mean if there could be a restaurant called... Or is it Shitload? Would it be Shitloads? No, I think Buttloads is perfect. It's like that one called Eggslut. Where's that? No, you don't know about Eggslut. Yeah, Eggslut, I think, is in America.

It's a good name. It's a really good name. But the thing is that i love a thing it's like it's based not at all on the quality of the food it's based entirely on your analysis and then you get a meal and i don't know if they what do they serve you anything and it's just like you're just eating a the perfect size like whatever they've got they have to essentially do a game of tetris back there to fit you know the exact right well i know i mean i think i think i think it's um i think the food can still be of good quality but what they are guaranteeing to you is the right quantity yeah right yeah you know that's the next level of um personalization of your food because you know the

saying is bitten off more than you can chew but really the risk is bitten off more than you can shit that's right i think absolutely you know and there's a chance because you know you have to kind of have a sort of mouthful cavity and anal cavity synchronicity. Sure. If your mouth is too big. Or you're an avid chewer and things like that, and you can get more in, pack more in, then there's a chance that you could be creating a sort of a blockage like the bears do before hibernation or something like that.

Your mouth is passing checks that your ass can't cash. Your ass is chewing checks. Your ass is chewing checks that your mouth is chewing. Your mouth is eating checks? Yeah, chewing checks. Okay, chewing checks. Chewing checks. No, chewing. No, it's chewing. It's chewingwing Chex. Chewing Chex. No, Chewing.

No, it's Chewing. It's Chewing. I can't go on like this. It's eating Chex that your ass can't pass. Ass can't pass. There you go. And that would be a perfect tagline for this restaurant, buttloads. Yeah.

No, I mean, if there can be a restaurant called Hogsbreath Cafe, there's no reason there can't be one called buttloads. My only fear is that people will come thinking that the meals are going to be enormous portions. Right? No, but, you know, colloquially, a buttload is known as a really large amount. That's right. So, I think one of our first challenges in running this restaurant is going to be educating people. Well, sure. But, I mean, I guess there's always the chance that you can go there and, you know, like eating dishes.

It's an all-you-can-shit restaurant that's right well you know like spiciness you can choose higher and higher amounts you know or you can supersize it to like three buttloads worth yeah and you're like you're but they give you like they give you like a medical advice that's like you're gonna want to shit this in three servings oh you know what would be great instead of serving the food to you like a medical advice that's like, you're going to want to shit this in three servings. Oh, you know what would be great? Instead of serving the food to you in a bowl, they serve it in a bowel. And what that bowel is, is a 3D printed replica of your own ass. Yeah.

I mean, even if it's just on a plate, but they just print out your colon there and they place the food within the line. Perfect. That's perfect. They just have a machine that kind of stamps it into that shape and then drops it in the mold. I mean, this is flawless. Conceptually, this is flawless. I mean, it might be too – like, people could come to this restaurant and be horrified, but they would have to acknowledge its brilliance. It's brilliant.

This is so brilliant. I think the brilliance would compel people to come, despite their disgust. The undertones of awfulness. You know what? I'm so hungry, I could have three buttloads tonight. I'm going to get a third buttload if that's okay. Another baleful thank you. The funny thing would, you know, it would be interesting if they did only serve one thing and it was kind of a uniform something.

Yeah, but we've done that. Yeah, we have done that. We've done that. something yeah but we've done that yeah we have we've done that we've done that we've done that in the the um bricks restaurant which isn't the food is an extruded brick and then i think we've also done a similar one where we feed you a a paste that leaves you constant low-key shitting and able to 3d print your own house. Has anyone ever proposed, and this would be a sort of a gut science, scientists, you know,

either nightmare or, you know, ultimate fantasy, would be to create a meal that looks like a shit, but as it's digested, starts to look more and more like a meal. You know, you could imagine the Einstein, this would be a task for the, for like, I got scientists, like, you know, young Einstein style person. Not young Einstein,

but Einstein. Not young Einstein, the Yahoo serious character. Although it could be a great, you know, a great sequel to it. Old Einstein, we could call it. We've got to do this. He's been a recluse for years. Hasn't made anything, I think, really since Mr. Accident.

We've got to get him out of retirement and get him to make old Einstein. It feels like something Auntie Donna needs to do. Because I feel like they're the ones that have enough cultural relevance right now. and get him to make old einstein it feels like something auntie donna needs to do because i feel like they're the ones that have enough cultural relative relevance right now on cultural relativism uh they have enough cultural relevance right now uh in which and you know they could even just do it for their own channel yeah rather than you know for a film or something like a tv show but where it would still be worthwhile even if they just did it online. They've got some cachet.

They've got to burn that shit. They've got to do something with it. They need to do a Yahoo Serious series with him. Yahoo Web Series. Yahoo Web Serious. God. Write it down. God, we need to okay the yahoo web series we're not only allowed to come up with sketches for us here

yeah we're allowed to come up with them for auntie donna as well sure i mean you know i've um i you know i don't feel comfortable ever suggesting things. And the one time I did suggest things, I feel like Mark, no, not Mark, but Zach, in a kind, but what felt firm way, essentially plotted out the legal implications of them doing my idea. And then I guess it felt like there was fear in there that maybe I was somehow going to cause problems. And then I went, okay, I guess it's just, it's not a place where I should do anything like that. I will say this about you, Alistair. I think you might be, I don't think you've ever been tested, but I suspect you might be the least litigious person in the world. I mean, you know, I mean, even just the thought of bothering seems seems like a like a pain and also there is no value to ideas whatsoever other than yes like i think when when you think that there's a value to ideas that's when you realize you're you're mistaken because you don't

understand that the value comes and actually turning ideas into something. And that's where the value comes from. And owning an idea is almost nothing. And so what we, this whole podcast is based on, and I'm sorry to tell you this, but there's 394 episodes in, Andy, is that we are creating near worthlessness. I mean, I'd had my suspicions for some time. Earthlessness. I mean, I'd had my suspicions for some time. But we create the opportunity for creating work and creating, you know, something good eventually. Something worth litigizing about.

Yeah. I mean, maybe that would be our greatest work. That was what happened to the Wright brothers. They invented the airplane, right brothers they invented the airplane yeah right they made the airplane and then instead of really working on perfecting or improving the airplane they dedicated basically the rest of their lives apart from the guy who died in a plane crash the other one yeah uh the rest of their lives to suing anybody else who tried to make an airplane jesus christ yeah Because they came up with the idea

of flight, which they stole from the birds. Yeah, and if people made a better airplane than them, they sued them extra hard. Yeah, great. I mean, it would have been great for somebody to represent the birds and

the insects and take the Wright brothers to court i mean i think i think one way that we could maybe save the planet from human uh activity is to represent the earth in court for any biomimicry that has occurred in through you know through engineering and through anything so any idea that you couldn't you could have only got from through seeing it and not just only got it through there's just you wouldn't have an opportunity to become a conscious person capable of having these ideas um before before seeing it in nature seeing consciousness no no before seeing this idea so let's say before you could come up with the idea for human flight you would have seen a bird do it i'm sorry you know you're going to be

not human flight but flight i think this is an angle that hasn't been pursued to defend the Earth's environment. And it's like how they got Al Capone for tax evasion. We're going to get humanity for plagiarism. Yeah. Right? A biomimicry is, you know, we've come up with another word for it

to try and make it sound okay. What it is is intellectual property violation. I mean, I guess because... You don't have to have an intellect to have your property violated. It's funny because the thought that you could get sued by Marvin Gaye's estate for stealing his song, but then you

could just say, well, no, it's just biomimicry. This is an engineering thing that's used all the time yeah but i think you could counter sue yeah um marvin gaye on behalf of birds again the concept of song and maybe wolves wolves yeah um yeah that's great um um okay wait i'm gonna say suing humanity for uh yeah for i mean it would be great if we could somehow make the biosphere sentient and you know maybe it is on some level that we can't possibly begin to comprehend. But if we could, I don't know, inject something into the water cycle, little we thought you could just, if you put a, like a potted tree into like a convertible car.

Yes. Right. And you hooked it up so that instead of like moving its leaves when it's in, when to turn towards the sun, it drives and follows the sun. It'd figure out how to do it eventually. Yeah, it would learn. And so it would realize this signal moves me over there and keeps me in the sun and this signal, you know. And so I guess through a – starting with that kind of process, you could potentially connect all the trees and plants and things like that um maybe and get it to have a consciousness that is hooked up to computers and the communication is becomes coded and a bit

more clear like it probably could decode a language right like you can attach something to a monkey's brain and allow it to move a robotic arm. Yeah. Right? It'll learn eventually how to use its brain in a new way. We connect all the trees together and some sort of trunk dialing system. Yes. What's the trunk dialing system?

Trunk dialing is some old uh telephone concept i like that you went for the pun rather than for the the useful idea but it was good thanks al um yeah i agree yeah that i did the right thing. That you did the definite right thing. You did the right thing. And so then we're doing this so that then, and is this another way of just, we're trying to, and then we're somehow trying to convince the, I guess, the ecosystem of Earth to become litigious. Yeah, that's right. ecosystem of earth to become litigious. So we're helping it create a consciousness by connecting them together. And I think that the defense,

the opposing people who represent man in this court case, the defense, they will go around and start snipping all our wires that we did, connecting all the human life together. That's witness tampering. It is witness tampering. Well, that's technically tampering with the,

not just the witness, but the what's the opposite of the defendant? The litigant? The litigant? The plaintiffiff the plaintiff that's plaintiff uh tampering tampering yeah you know which is even worse exactly i mean imagine that you know you're you're in the court you're up against i don't know jay simpson or whatever and he's suing you for stealing his jerseys or whatever remember that i think that was a court case he was involved in.

I'm pretty sure he had stolen his own jerseys back from somebody else. And they were suing him. Okay, that's what it was. But let's say, you know, let's rewrite history. Imagine if your, whenever people talked about the OJ Simpson's case, that was the one you assumed they were talking about. Oh, yeah. about the oj simpsons case that was the one you assumed they were talking about oh yeah and uh and so and then and then you start like putting like little bows in his hair or something like that and every time you walk past him you put little bows in his hair and you kind of like i don't know you draw you draw things on his arm you know a little i don't know what you're talking about and then they're like sir you are being charged with plaintiff tampering.

Yeah, you're right. But, I mean, the other forms of tampering would presumably also be. Do you think in the, because, I i mean it's amazing that his other case oj's other big case i'm assuming there are only two big oj cases the other one also involved items of clothing that may or may not have been his right like the glove do you think the line if it does not fit you must acquit would have worked worked in that second case. Yeah. But then they have to say, well, he's a much older man. He's not in his sort of physical form that he once was in when he was a sporting star,

which I guess they couldn't use in that first case because he probably still was in that great physical shape. Great physical shape. Yeah, I assume he was in great physical shape back when he was a sportsman. Yeah, I think so. And when he was in his prime murdering form. Age. Age.

I'm not saying he did do it. But if he did do it, this is how he would have done it. But he was in good shape for it. So it could be. That makes no assumption as to his guilt. I'm only saying. I think that's a compliment I could use to anybody. God, you could really murder people really easily.

With the shape that you currently have. Yeah. I mean, it doesn't roll off the tongue. No, but a lot of the best compliments don't. You want something to roll off the tongue and roll in the ear Roll off of the tongue and into the ear Straight into the ear So do you think if it rolls off the tongue well

That means that good compliments are in some way spherical or rounded I think they are rounded, yes What's a square compliment that wouldn't roll well off of the tongue, for example? Sometimes we set ourselves up to fail on this podcast. Well, Andy, I think sometimes I set you up to fail. What would a square compliment sound like? Well, let's see here. Well, would you say that you are beautiful is a rounded off compliment?

It's a nice rounded off beautiful. You're beautiful. Yeah, I think it is. Like that, right? Yeah. And so then, but then you... What about this? You look like the president of Madagascar.

Sure. That's a square compliment. That's more of a square couple. It feels like it has many more corners. Yes. Okay, yeah. But so is it more like it's like a locomotive? Is that, you know, it's more like it has more...

It's not that it's square, but maybe it is a vehicle not built for the... I mean, obviously a locomotive still rolls off the tongue. But there is not that much track length on the tongue. Okay. You know, for it to hold a sort of a thing with multiple carriages.

Yeah. You know what I mean? I think so. It's a long words. You know, I mean? I think so. It's a long words. You know, too many, you know, double banger last names, any of that kind of thing. You remind me of Alistair Trombley Birchley. See, that doesn't come off as a beautiful rounded off compliment. It actually did.

Well, you know, I don't know if it would be a compliment either. I was thinking about you recently for some reason. And not just because I've seen you and worked with you. Alistair Tremblay-Burchill. When you said your name then, just then, it made me think of you. And it made me... It reminded me of you. It reminded me of that guy I work with sometimes.

Yeah, yeah. it reminded me of that guy i work with sometimes yeah yeah but what was i thinking about alistair trompe l'oeil virtual i can't remember i'm sure it was something well you there is that game that you that people are playing in the discord at the moment and you did one last night where people are saying you know it's a variation on three words from a listener. And there was one where somebody did three words from a glistener. You know, three words. The thing is, I don't want to name too many, because if I name too many, then I'm leaving a lot of people out. I think you've made the right decision. But you did George, William, and Tremblay, Bir Birchall and then you said three

words from A. Laster. Yeah, I did. Yeah, I did. I felt like that was a good place for it to go. And it got quite a few tit coins. Oh, that's great. I haven't checked that yet. There's a system in the Discord where if you make a good comment

people can give you tit coins checked that yeah there's a system in the discord where if you um if you make a good comment people uh can give you tit coins and then if you get enough tit coins they go into a new thread called they get boosted into a thread called best of yeah uh this is a new talk about this this is a new system but yeah and also just for anybody who's new to the podcast, tit is the pronunciation of the acronym for two in the think tank. Correct. Yeah. That's the long tit that we sometimes refer to. Oh, wow.

That's an incredible. It's got nine tit coins. That might be the highest scoring entry into the… Well, you see, because it's both a joke, but then it also has relevance, you see. Has relevance. You know. I try to stay relevant. It was under everybody's nose the whole time, like a mustache.

Yeah. Or the rest of your body. That's right. But if you have really bad neck posture. Yeah. What percentage? I mean, I think you'd still say it's under your nose. Like, what percentage of your body do you think is?

It's lower altitude than your nose. You can get anything you need with Uber Eats. Well, almost, almost anything. So no, you can't get an ice rink on Uber Eats. But iced tea and ice cream? Yes, we can deliver that. Uber Eats. Get almost, almost anything. anything order now product availability may vary by region see app for details yes and when you're laying down i guess just see the back of your head is under your nose

assuming you sleep on your back i mean if you sleep face first in the pillow, I suppose then nothing. What if you sleep on someone else's back? Yeah. Face first? No. On your back. Sleep on my back, on your back. Butt to butt.

Sleeping on both's back back there must be one culture throughout history that does that dancing cheek to cheek sleeping butt to butt sleeping butt to butt but then the person underneath you see this is a bed this is a new type of bed yeah right because if there isn't a culture that's done this we need a new culture that does do it or even a subculture subculture doesn't require it to be like a whole group of people you know like that that are linked together through a language and all that kind of stuff like that or whatever um subculture it's people who have a bed that is part bed part massage table because if your bed had one of those face holes yes like that you could truly sleep you could

truly sleep but then also arm holes because you know what'd be great is that if you lay down and you had arm holes that go down as well into the mattress right yes inside the mattress you could have a whole like the inside like another like a kind of like a desk space. You could have a screen in there. You could have like food in there. Yeah. You know, you could have like drawers in there that you store things in. Right? Yeah, you could have a whole bed life.

You could read a book. You could read a book. It's the perfect position to read a book in. You know? Yeah. I mean, it would be quite confronting to come into somebody's bedroom and see them lying face down on the bed like that and not know, you know, if you don't know about these beds yet, if they're a new one. You panic, you think they might have suffocated or something and you're like yeah and then somebody has to jump in grab you by the shoulders and say don't worry he's just got one of those new beds yeah the face hole with the face hole and the beautiful you know it's like and you could call that area my chambers because that really is your

chamber you know like any a room you might have to share you know you might have to give up your room sometimes when you know a guest comes over or something have to share you know you might have to give up your room sometimes when you know a guest comes over or something like that and they're going to use the spare bed or a trundle you know they might be in using your trundle right um imagine people having sex on your trundle you say oh baby i want to bundle you into the trundle. I'll bundle you up on my trundle. Anyway, but then – I think that's great.

But I also think that there's a – stepping back from that for a second. Sorry, Alistair. I'm sure you've got places to go, but I just want to mention. It would be great to have a mattress which did have a slot that you could put your arm down so that when you are spooning a person there's somewhere for your arm to go because at the moment there's no good system well there could be a middle a middle chamber in between you know let's say this is a uh you know a marriage bed you know a mess right there's a there's a marital bed the marital bed right the marital chamber bed right um has a chamber in the middle and maybe maybe the you know has a space it's a it's a it's a fifth armhole in the mattress yeah for the arm for

the person who for the big spoon for the big spoon who goes into the middle you know and sticks their arm in there and then can have their arm over their beloved, you know, but then one arm freely moving, maybe even in going into their lover's chamber a little bit. Maybe it's, you know, it goes in there and they can touch some of their snacks and maybe put their greasy fingers on the screen. Their fingers are greasy, oh, because of the snacks.

Because of the snacks, yeah. From all the, you know know from all the love making They were doing Greasy oh you've got me all greasy baby You know from rubbing Your hands over their greasy skin There should be a resource. People should focus more on making bed-friendly snacks.

That's right. They should. A snack that feels good when you roll onto it. You're right. It's not that it's a – it's not the one that doesn't produce crumbs or whatever. It's one that produces crumbs that are nice to lie on. That's right. So, for example, you could start a company that makes a box.

It's a box and you could send it to people, maybe somebody you'd like to be in bed with. Oh, very good. box it's a box and you could send it to people maybe somebody you'd like to be in bed with oh right and or you know it's a or something you'd bring over to somebody who to somebody's house who eventually you'd like to shift to the bedroom and spend some time in the bed with them you know it's a little hint box and it's it's all it's it's called the bed the bed snack box i've got i think i think this service is going to be called food war yeah oh in the food war it's almost it's almost too clever for the for the people we're going for but um i think i think that's that's great and then you i think this is for intellectuals this is this is for intellectuals trying to coax people into the bed. With food. Intellectual coaxers.

And so things like marshmallows. Oh, perfect. Yeah, the marshmallow. I mean, it's almost the perfect bed snack, isn't it? But the problem is you can't eat that many. No, it should be a savory marshmallow. Yes. What about mochi? I don't know what that is you know mochi it's like that glutinous rice kind of um stuff that's been ground up into a kind of

a marshmallow we paste that's sometimes filled up with like black sesame or or sometimes they have it surrounding ice cream. I mean, I'm imagining all these things, I'm imagining lying on them in bed. And it's not making me feel good. But I understand. It might be fine. Lying on top of a marshmallow would be nice. You could lay on a bed made entirely of marshmallows. You could.

As long as it's still got that little powder that stops you from sticking. You know, you couldn't. Look, I'm not going to lie. Okay, there are flaws. If somebody is biting into a marshmallow and then discarding it on the bed, thinking, you know, oh, well, these are all snacks that you can lay on like that. And it will make your sleeping experience maybe better like that. Then that will be stickier and maybe more unpleasant than a you know like a sharp crumb from say a chip i wonder what it would feel like to make love on a giant marshmallow that's right like we could we could sell this as an experience yes i wonder what it would feel like

to make love uh on a giant marshmallow. What did you guys think I was talking about? It's the only way I haven't done it. Yes. I think we might be ready for words from a listener, Alistair. Yeah. If I could move you over to that section of the podcast. Yes.

Well, we are running out of page on this two in the think tank 394 podcast sheet. We are running out of page in the book of our lives. That's really one of the saddest things I've heard all day. And I've heard a lot of sad things today. I've heard all day and I've heard a lot of sad things today well Andy today today's three words come from a listener okay

there are three words from a listener a luster you know what I don't think I've ever brought in I've never donated the three words myself I don't think you can oh you're right I've never donated the three words myself. No, I don't think you can.

No, you're right. But these three words were from a listener who recently sent through three words, possibly thinking that I'd forgotten about their three words because I had. And so then I went back and found the older three words. These are from Casey Pearson. Okay. You want to say hi to Casey Pearson? Hi, Casey Pearson. That's right.

Now, Casey Pearson sent through these three words, because Casey has been a Patreon supporter, and that's given them this right to do this. And so, therefore, with that right, I feel like you should validate it, validate that right by trying to guess what some of those three words are. Okay, Casey, here we go. Word number one is… Wrong. Word number one is... Wrong.

Rhesus. R-H-E-S-U-S, like in the rhesus monkey. Now, let me just check the three words. I'm sorry. The first word is mutually. Okay. Okay. The second word is assured.

Mutually assured. Luckily, I didn't finish that word wrong because you got the second word. The second word is assured mutually assured luckily i didn't finish that word wrong because you got the second word the second word is assured okay so i reckon they're going for a play on mutually assured destruction now it could be distraction oh you think is that really is that your guess oh fuck alistair Now I feel really scared. Well, I felt scared. I felt scared. Destruction.

Mutually assured. Yep, distraction. Mutually assured distraction. The third word is construction. Gah! Somebody should make a bomb that builds buildings. Then drop it on another city, which would, I suppose, destroy a bunch of buildings when it constructs a bunch of buildings. Well, I mean, you could drop it in the open.

You could test it in a desert like they do, right? That's true, yeah. They have to knock down some of the old cities that they had built up for previous bomb tests. Yeah. So first they set off a nuclear blast to knock those down, and then they drop this bomb that builds a city. Yeah. Or at least a city block.

Yeah, now does it... Yeah, I think a block built a whole... This bomb can build an entire block, can build an entire hospital. And then, I mean, I'm not sure whether or not the bomb is also capable of getting the planning permissions necessary to do this by the book. These are measured in megarchitons. Alistair, why not Megatowns?

Megatowns? Oh, no. Oh, Megarchitons. Oh, no. It was designed by Oppenheimer. What? He homes. Oh, home. It was designed by Oppenheimer. What? Oh, home, not Homer, like the guy who wrote the epic poem or whatever. Oppenheimer.

Oppenheimer. Oh, Oppenheimer. We've gone too deep into this idea now to not write it down. It's the Manhattan Project. I'm sorry, Casey, that this is what we've come up with. I'm sorry that it's too perfect to not write down. I'm ashamed. We're all ashamed.

Why don't they make a bomb that can build a town? I mean, that feels like the whole joke to me. Call it the Manhattan Project. I mean, it's almost all already there in the three words we got, mutually assured construction. Yeah, well, exactly. But, you know, they didn't get the three jokes.

But, I mean, Andy, is it just too perfect that we should just end it? I think we should end it. I think we should end it. I think we should end it all. I'm sorry that we did almost your exact words to the exact place but sometimes the idea is too perfect to deviate from it you know and you know and if i tried to do anything

with it it would have involved like you know a bomb made out of human's skin or something like that you know what that's like and it blows it's a bomb that puts more skin onto your body you get a and it makes you a different rice wow i mean that is pretty cool a bomb that makes you a different rice yeah that would be really cool yeah do you think that radiation also changes like makes your like your memories and life experiences that you've already had the radiation somehow changes the memories into that race as well i'm not sure i'm just trying i'm wrestling with myself whether or not I say the thought that I just had.

Oh, was it a pun? Yes. Can you guess what it is? Do you want to guess what it is? Let's see. No, I can't guess. Radiation. Yeah, that's good. Yeah, I suppose so.

I suppose it is. Yeah. Yeah. I was trying to do a gamma. I was definitely trying to find like a gamma or delta or alpha delta um i don't know what else what i was going to do anyway let's go through our sketch ideas okay the this is these are the sketch ideas for the two in the think tank 394 we've got garren tor the half man half willing to back you

up on a loan and it is half willing yeah, but then is that separate to the idea of a bee that is purely willing? I didn't even write down being that's pure oh my god I think that's more something

no, no, no, it's willingness to back you up on a loan. Are you willing to back him up? Yes. Yes. Am I? That's all I am. I want you... This is somebody who's somehow asked a genie,

I want you to make me willing to back my friend up on his loan. Your wish is my command. Then we've got, yeah, so we've got the being that's willing to back you up. Then we've got we have butt loads. The restaurant where they measure your anal cavity

to figure out your perfect meal size. It feels like we've already come up with part of this idea before. Then we have the Yahoo web series for Auntie Donna. Yeah, great. Then we have suing humanity for biomimicry of flight to save Earth from humans. to save Earth from humans. Then we have attaching all ecosystem living things together to create a consciousness so it can sue humanity.

It's kind of similar to the other idea. Then we have the massage table face hole bed with a little face room chamber, you know. It really rolls onto the tongue. It really rolls onto the tongue. It really rolls onto the tongue. That's what they call the fruit roll. Roll on, roll off. That's what you want it to be, don't you?

That's what peas do. Ah. Or a sideways sausage. Coming from a tilted plight um then we've got objecting to a guest i don't know what this feels like a sideways sausage from a tilted plate it really rolls onto the tongue um then there's this is not enough of an idea, but I think that it's just funny. It feels like a Larry David idea, but it's objecting to guests having sex on your trundle.

It feels, I don't know, it feels just like a social faux pas that we're all not aware of yet. But as soon as you hear about it, you think, well, that wouldn't be right. To have sex on a trundle. As soon as you think about it, you know. Yeah. But except for these people didn't. Then the box for bed snacks. And then the bomb that builds buildings.

It's a certain number of megatowns designed by Open Homer. Homer. And as part of the manhattan project so that's it everybody yeah i was just thinking though uh i believe we have some listeners who are couples yeah and i've got a new idea for you okay and this is to kiss right um fully mouth seal on mouth, right, and then try and talk into the other person's mouth and see if they can hear you.

Yeah, I think I've done that before. Oh, really? Yeah, I think if you've ever kissed while making out, you know. Kissed while making out? Yeah, kissing while making out. Fuck. Talking while making out. Yeah.

I don't know that I have. But while you're making out. I'm very conservative. You know, like sometimes if you're kissing and then you slip your tongue in. Well, why not while you're at it, slip your lips in and have another smaller kiss inside the kiss? I mean, it's the French kiss is to put the tongue in. But I wonder which nationality has been brave enough. Is that Hungary, maybe?

To put the whole... Hungary for more kiss. Ah. Put the whole lips inside. I think they've actually, in order to change the association with the English word for hungry, they've now changed their name to hungaye. Ravenous. A rumbly tummy. Oh, no.

A beautiful old Hungarian word, ravenous. No, rumbly tummy is so much funnier. Rumbly tummy. What? What? They're more ancient. Rumbly tummy. What? What? They're more ancient. Rumbly tummy. Andy, I was hoping going into this episode, I was going to say, I want us to focus, because

in the Discord the other day, somebody said, Brian said, well, two people said things. Somebody said that an episode had been the best example of what a Toon the Think Tank episode was. I think it was like

294 or something like that. 284 maybe. Something with but in the title. And then somebody else said, I think that episode one is the best example of a sketch of an episode. Brian said that. I was starting to leave the names out because I had just

forgotten the person who had said the first name. But that's okay. I apologize. I think that was Lizzy Whizzy. That was Lizzy Whizzy. Thank you. I thank you so much for that. And then, so then I wanted to go into this episode saying, let's try and have the

energy of an episode one. But you know what i think we are we had it without me saying i it's really nice i secreted it into existence by thinking it yeah so you're welcome and thank you also you know what was interesting about this episode what we didn't do it after we put the children to bed. We didn't record it. We're doing it during the daytime. We forgot to record it. But I think that might be the energy that they're talking about.

Yeah, all the energy of having some energy. Yes. Oh, yes. Had that real energy energy. Yeah. All right, I've got to go too, so let's do the song and then we'll do the exit. Boom shakalaka laka boom shakalaka laka boom shakalaka boom shakalaka boom shakalaka boom. energy. Yeah. All right. I've got to go too. So let's do the song and then we'll get to the exit. Boom.

Shaka, laka, laka, boom, shaka, laka, laka, boom,

shaka, boom, shaka, boom, shaka, boom, boom, boom,

boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom,

boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom,

boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom,

boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom,

boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom,

boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom,

boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom,

boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom,

boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom,

boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom,

boom, boom, It's been real. Yep. We've just done an episode of Who Knew It with Matt Stewart, both of us, and Peter Thomas, who is a former guest on the show and former member of a sketch group that all three of us were in called Wing Attack. Yes. Good friend of the show and friend of us. There's a chance by the time you're listening to this that that episode has come out. So go and check it out. Yeah. It's pretty silly. It's pretty silly.

It's pretty silly. You know, you can always check out the Shushers. I did two, and then there's more coming, but I need to get them done. Sorry. But the dream is to do more Shusher. I'm going to be a Shusher guy now. I'm really excited for everybody. I'm excited for you, and I'm excited for the listeners of every podcast.

Take care. Take care, everybody. I'm excited for you and I'm excited for the listeners of every podcast. Take care. Take care everybody and we love you. Bye. Andy means it. Bye. You can get anything you need with Uber Eats. Well, almost almost anything. So no, you can't get

snowballs on Uber Eats, but meatballs and mozzarella balls, yes, we can deliver that. Uber Eats? Well, almost almost anything. So no, you can't get snowballs on Uber Eats. But meatballs and mozzarella balls, yes, we can deliver that. Uber Eats. Get almost almost anything. Order now. Product availability may vary by region. See app for details.