Two In The Think Tank - 398 - "POPE STAR"

Episode Date: September 17, 2023

Obsidian and A Cinnamon, Hungry Metal Gobbler, Topias, It Could Be Worse, Privately Schooled, Pope Star, The Pope Who Has It All, Playing the Dog WhistleGustav and Henri Volume 2 is now available to purchase in Australia here!You can support the pod by chipping in to our patreon here (thank you!)Join the other TITTT scholars on the TITTT discord server hereHey, why not listen to Al's meditation/comedy podcast ShusherDon't forget TITTT Merch is now available on Red Bubble. Head over here and grab yourselves some material objectsYou can find us on twitter at @twointankAndy Matthews: @stupidoldandyAlasdair Tremblay-Birchall: @alasdairtb and instaAnd you can find us on the Facebook right hereCrapologies to George for my production on this podcast. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It's winter, and you can get anything you need delivered with Uber Eats. Well, almost almost anything. So no, you can't get snowballs on Uber Eats. But meatballs, mozzarella balls, and arancini balls? Yes, we deliver those. Moose? No. But moose head? Yes. Because that's alcohol, and we deliver that too.

Along with your favorite restaurant food, groceries, and other everyday essentials. Order Uber Eats now. For alcohol, you must be legal drinking age. Please enjoy responsibly. Product availability varies by region. See app for details. Obsidian, obsidian, obsidian, obsidian, obsidian, obsidian, obsidian, obsidian, obsidian, obsidian, obsidian, obsidian, obsidian, obsidian,

obsidian, obsidian, obsidian, obsidian, obsidian, obsidian, obsidian, obsidian, obsidian, obsidian, obsidian, obsidian, obsidian, obsidian, obsidian, obsidian, obsidian, obsidian, obsidian, obsidian, obsidian, obsidian, obsidian, obsidian, obsidian, obsidian, obsidian, obsidian, obsidian, obsidian, obsidian, obsidian, obsidian, Hello and welcome to... Obsidian and dollar might. I'm obsidian and dollar mate. I'm a cinnamon.

I'm a cinnamon. Obsidian and a cinnamon. A synonym. I'm hard. And I'm powder. And I'm black. And I'm brown. And I'm black. And I'm brown. And I'm made from melted...

I'm sort of a volcanic glass. And I'm a type of bark. But we can get along. So why can't you? Why can't you? This is... We go into schools and we play two characters. Obsidian and Cinnamon.

And Cinnamon. And a cinnamon. Despite their differences. Obsidian and a cinnamon. I wanted to bring up Obsidian on the podcast. And I think I've done it in a really organic way. Because just before the podcast started, I was watching a Facebook video of a man making a knife out of Obsidian.

Was it a blue Obsidian? No, it was red. Oh, but did he talk at the beginning about how much this is a rare type of Obsidian, and that he's got to be a bit careful? I don't know. I don't think he did. No, but do you have an obsidian guy of your own? Oh, man, I've definitely watched a video where he makes a hand axe out of a blue one.

And it's a rare... No, see, this guy was making a knife and it was out of red. So it was pretty different. Yeah, this is very different. Yeah, so sorry. And then what were you going to say? I think it's a completely different skill set i just wanted to say two things one um uh obsidian probably the coolest name for a rock oh yeah i don't think you could yeah let's see obsidian yeah i mean if there was something like there's a word like lexicon which feels like it

would be great if it was like a type of metal or something like that sure but but it's not right it means a no means a bunch of words yeah yeah yeah almost the opposite of metal it is the opposite of metal that is if you were going to create a music that was very, like a type of rock music, that was sort of very easy on the ears, smooth, and talked about very kind things. I think you might call it light lexicon. Yes. Rock, sorry. Light lexicon rock there you go um but uh then the other thing i wanted to say is i think we've gone too far if we are rediscovering the lost art of making knives out of rock like i'm

i'm open to guys who want to be blacksmiths and want to do metal work and stuff, but I think rock, chipping away at bits of rock and stuff, that's a lost art that we do not need to rediscover. You don't think so? In my opinion. Yeah. I think it's silly. You don't think we'll get to a point where we've lost all our metal?

No, I don't think we will. And I think if we do get to that point We'll be dead anyway And I think Because the metal's evaporated and everything's so hot Well, I think if we I think if we as a society Have got to a point

Where we have somehow lost all our metal Like even our rusted, twisted metal? Even our scraps are metal? Yeah. Yeah, if all our metal's gone then that's a situation in which we're no longer alive. I can't conceive

of a chain of events. No? Or what about this, Andy? What would the chain be made out of? What about this? Somebody in a lab in Wuhan creates a hungry metal gobbler.

They've been testing on hungry metal gobblers and the best one escapes. It's actually a really good because we're in a golden age of apocalypse concepts right now. Right?

Oh, the hungry metal gobbler. And he's a little round furry guy with a big mouth. And he eats metal and then he poops out mud. Oh, no. Really stinky mud. Stinky mud. It's not poo. It's not poo. It's just shit. It's fine. You think I'm describing shit. Stinky mud. It's not poo. It's not poo.

It's not just shit. It's fine. You think I'm describing shit. I'm not. It's just a stinky mud. If you touch it, you don't have to wash your hands. It's just very stinky. It's really clean.

It just stinks. Actually, unbelievably sterile. They use it in surgery for sluicing out wounds. You could actually dip your scalpel in it before you cut somebody over. And yes, it makes their wound stinky. Yes.

But it actually prevents bacterial infections as well. They have a little one of these little guys, they have him there on that trolley next to the surgical bench, which is difficult because that trolley is usually made out of metal. So this guy's trying to eat at it, but they've got a little muzzle on him. What's that muzzle made out of?

I hear you ask. Oh, no. Twine. Oh, thank God. It's twine. He doesn't, he's not interested in twine He actually His teeth can't even cut through twine

That's the great irony of the Hungry Metal Goblin That's right He's like one of those You know like those Blades for cutting through casts And they don't cut your skin You know like that Yeah what

Is that a thing? That's a real thing yeah They don't cut your skin But it's like Because they move in a certain way that affects the cast, but not your skin. It's like more of a vibrate-y kind of thing than a spinny. I love it. I love it.

And your skin is a bit more flex in it. You know what I mean? Do you know what I mean? It's like the opposite of that bomb that kills people but leaves buildings standing. Oh, is that something we came up with on this? No, I think it's a real thing. I think that's sort of, in a way, what the H-bomb does.

Like a ghost bomb? I think it's because it produces so much radiation. Oh. But it just, yeah, anyway. It's not a nice thing. No, but think about this. A bomb that just, it's like a soul bomb. It only attacks the soul. Soul bomb. Yeah it's like a soul bomb it only attacks the soul soul bomb yeah it's a

great name and so only only the only the creatures with souls are affected which turns out is all of them and but it's not really souls it's just like the you know the whatever the bioelectricity that keeps life alive is that's all it is it's It's like an EMG, but for life. So it just kills things. Is that what you're saying? Yeah. It's a bomb, but it kills living things. I know, but it doesn't damage your skin.

It's like the blade that cuts your cast as well. Yeah, okay. No, but do you think there must be a thing that disrupts bioelectricity? You know, like the EMG. Is it EMG? It's called 5G. Oh no, EMP.

It's called the COVID vaccine. EM5G. It's called fluoride. It's called what's his name? Russell Brand.

Russell Brand. I've got one of these new Russell Brand hedge trimmers. Oh, you're thinking, oh, Bushel Brand. Sorry, Bushel Brand. I found it really stupid. Anyway, Russell Brand is horrible. Did you see today came out? No.

Oh, today a bunch of rape allegations came out about him. Whoa. But yesterday he had released a video saying, there's a coordinated attack. Yes. Because two news things are working on it. And so he says, oh, well, it's clearly a coordinated attack. Yes. Because two news things are working on it. And so he says, oh, well, it's clearly a coordinated, because I'm a great alternative to a dinkily-donkily mainstream media.

You know what I mean? Yeah. And then you go, oh, I mean, so do you think it wouldn't be, it would have more value if it was a sort of off-the-cuff, random attack? It just occurred to us attack. It's an uncoordinated attack. Yes, this is uncoordinated, so it seems like it's completely fine. They haven't organised anything.

I mean, isn't that just like... Fine. They haven't organized anything. I mean, isn't that just like, like, that puts a lot of his, I don't want to talk about this too much, but like, it feels like it puts a lot of his, like, drift into the sort of the alternative facts universe. Exactly. Into perspective of just like, if you knew this stuff was coming out about you. Yeah. Right?

Like, if you knew this stuff was coming out about you, you'd just be like, you know what? Those guys who think everything is a conspiracy and don't believe mainstream media, I might just start appealing to them a bit. Yeah. I mean, there's nothing better than if you're like, oh, a bunch of people might hate me because I did some shit things I might try to gather the kind of audience

that doesn't give a shit about shit things yeah so he's like you see Trump get away with everything you go I'm going to try and get some piece of that one of those people that will defend me no matter what you know it's like yeah

so I don't know if there's a sketch in this way. How do you turn this into a comedy sketch? Oh, let's see. Let's see. You're a nuclear bomber. But you've been doing it on the down low. But what if it's not nuclear bombs, right? What if it's something like you're a company that has been putting human feces into your beef burgers?

Sure. Right? Yeah. Okay. Then, you know, this is going to come out eventually. Are you rotating something, clicking something? I didn't think I was. Oh, my headphones are rubbing against my glasses.

That's what it is. You're experiencing that in your own private universe. Oh, right. That's not affecting the listeners at all. Thank God for them. But so then you realize it're about to come out and then you say well we're going to pivot to being i mean burgers probably isn't even a a good enough example right it's not extreme enough because maybe you need to be tofu or something like that

and then you've got human feces in your tofu and you realize you've got to pivot to being an alt right tofu company which has got to be one of the hardest pivots to make. No, because then you just change it to human feces whey protein. Oh, yeah, great. Like for bodybuilders and stuff, real jack dudes. Yeah, it's really great. Good rebrand. I think you put that down.

Is that why you put the word brand in there? Yes, that's it. But how does it save you straight away? I don't know if it saves you straight away. Just getting into that kind of thing. Because you're trying to go for an audience of people who will defend you no matter what. Right? Well, I mean, I think it's a slightly different idea.

I think your idea of you find out that you've got human feces in your tofu or whatever, you rebrand it and market it to bodybuilders and gym bros as a fecal muscle supplement or something like that. Oh, yeah, right. I think that's a good idea. Yeah. Okay. I think that's a sketch. You know what?

Even though I said it, I don't quite have my full head all the way around it. you know sometimes sometimes in the in the in the heat of passionate conversation that we have yes sometimes i feel like i can't wait until i understand what i'm gonna say before i start to say it you know oh and i appreciate that about you i think that's that's a beautiful part i want you to know that during i remember during the 300th episode i remember being sort of outside of myself for a little bit and looking over to you and being like andy's talking somehow he knows what to say. I don't know what to say. How does he know? Where's he getting this from? It's just your instinct of like, we just have to keep going.

We can't stop. That's interesting you say it because I feel like you are so much better at that than I am. That when I would just grind to a halt, you will produce something. And all the reps you have done as Alistair listing everything. Yes, I use all my reps. And then I just go, oh, what about this? The blood on a wire fence. why a fence?

What were we talking about before the Russell Brand thing, Alistair? Because I felt like we were on our way to something. Have we written anything else down? Well, we've got obsidian and a cinnamon. Oh, yeah. And then we've got the little Wuhan hungry metal gobbler. Oh, great. You have written that down.

Because I think that is a great... As I was saying, I thought this was a very clever thing that I said. I didn't maybe quite get it out properly. But like, we're in a golden age of apocalypses right now. Like the idea that it's like a real... It's a real dystopia utopia at the moment. You can... You can envisage so many.

Exactly. Yes. and none of them and so many that seem probable yeah and people are lapping them up if you can come up with a good dystopia, people will love it so I think this one in which a little monster man is eating

all the metal is really good. And maybe he can only travel at a certain speed, right? This little guy. And if you want to keep... We're trying to preserve our remaining metal, right? Maybe by loading it into big trucks and driving it around in them to try and keep just ahead of this little guy yeah maybe that's where all the hospitals and stuff have to be okay on these trucks they're just like constantly fleeing from this ravenous little dude and he's

all the street signs and everything that's ironically everything that is nailed down, he gets it, including the nails. Yeah. And he sucks it out. Maybe he's a bit like a fly as well, and he's able to spit up some digestive juices onto things. Sure, sure. And just sort of melt them down, slurp them up. I suppose that metal's got to go somewhere.

He can turn it into juices of some sort. Yeah, well, that explains it, doesn't it? It's got to go somewhere. Ah, I've thought about this. He turns it into juices of some sort. Of some sort. And it's all sloshing around inside of him. Yeah, but then he's plopping it.

And it does make sense that it would be sterile, if it's metal in some way that's been processed. He's sort of the opposite of the philosopher's stone that could turn base metals into gold. Oh, yeah. He turns all metals into poop. It's such a good future.

We got all this poop. That's the thing. But you know what? The fact that you described before the living in a dystopia, utopia, is that I feel like that's kind of a utopia in a way. It's like if we could just stay here, if we could stop the progress of destruction of the planet into this point

maybe some of the articles that are like all right now all of the vital signs you know six of the eight vital signs of the earth are now tipped over into unlivable you know i have been thinking about that so much as you would i was like oh my god. But if they could, you know, if we could just slow it down to there and stay in this place. In many ways, this is ideal because it's like, it's great for, it is a form of utopia. Even if it is a dystopia utopia where you can come up with so many viable dystopias. That is still a type of utopia, which is so far away from being a dystopia you know what i mean it's like the opposite yeah and so and it's that kind of thing it's like that it's always um lightest darkest before dawn or whatever it is right it's the opposite it's always

lightest right before dusk. Right? And now we're in that beautiful moment. You know that moment where like when you hear about somebody dying and then it's like the day before they die. They're like, and they had a sudden recovery and they're so good. They're looking great.

Yeah, they're looking so great. And they were chatting and they weren't in pain anymore. And like that. And then it's like the next day they died. Well, that's what we're in right now. We in that great bit right now this isn't making me feel better we're like when does this start to make me feel better no no i was saying if we stop it if we stop it here this is the perfect place because this is the crazy thing is that i keep

looking around and being like but everything seems like it's about as good as it's ever been i realize that's for me in my position of privilege but you're like wow it's about as good as it's ever been. I realise that's for me in my position of privilege. But you're like, wow, it's crazy that everything's going wrong. I've got my cyanide lake. I've got all these knocked down trees from when I was afraid that they were going to fall on my house. But isn't that good, though? I don't know.

That's a good thing. I've got all this rotting wood surrounded up here. I have more children than any couple could handle. Sorry, Andy. I'm just joking. It seems like you're only listing good things, Alistair. These all seem good to me.

I mean, every single one of those living beings are good. Thank you. I'm only referring to the workload. I'm only talking about the total of them. That's the problem. Each individual one is good. It's a gestalt phenomenon. While I was in the shower today, I think I found...

Maybe I remembered an old idea, because I have this bit that I was thinking about, which I've done as part of a show. Maybe I remembered an old idea, but I have this bit that I was thinking about, which I've done as part of a show, my last show that I did, but I ended it here, but I thought of something to keep it going, which is the thing about how when you start going to school,

taking your kids to school, you start meeting other parents, and sometimes those couples break up, and you see that they start co-parenting, and they've only got the kids half a week. Right? And then you think, geez, it sure is a shame i love my wife yeah right because then they're all you know because it would be great you know and i'm sure it's more complicated than that right but yeah but sure you know but you got half a week off but they're not talking about that at the pickup and drop-offs are they not talking about that they're keeping that little secret to themselves right but and then it occurred to me today.

I was like because it's crazy that that couple is broken up because giving somebody half a week off from having to do something really difficult sounds like something you would do to somebody you cared quite deeply about. It seems like quite a nice gift. And also actually making somebody toil all week long until they're tired to the point of losing their mind.

That seems like something you would do to someone you don't like at all. It seems like that we've got the whole thing around the wrong way. Around the complete wrong way. Divorce should be the thing that you do to the person you love the most in the world. Will you make me the happiest man in the world? Let me go.

Let me have half a week off. Half a week off? I mean, what did you... For my beloved family. Yeah. Yeah. No, I think that's definitely something, Alistair something i think you should pursue that line of inquiry line of inquiry inquiry inquiry i mean do you think that there's a is there a thing this is going back to the dystopia utopia

yeah i know there's almost nothing here it's just a clever thing that you said. But. Thanks, man. Is there the idea that maybe, you know, it's a sketch and it's about either a sci-fi writer or something. You know, it's a writer who wrote about this time. Right. About a time like this where the world would deteriorate. And the sketch is about how this guy predicted. You know, he was so spot on. He had so much foresight. And he was able to see that now.

And this is a book that's 100 years old or 50 years old. He was able to see it before anybody else. Nobody else. And now we really are in this beautiful dystopia, utopia, on the edge of absolute doom. It's hockey season, and you can get anything you need delivered with Uber Eats. Distopia, utopia, alcohol, and other everyday essentials. Order Uber Eats now. For alcohol, you must be legal drinking age. Please enjoy responsibly.

Product availability varies by region. See app for details. But in a beautiful place for sci-fi writers. It's so good for them, isn't it? God, they're so lucky. Just because sci-fi writers often have to think about things that are awful, and now it's so easy to picture things that will be awful. Plus there's ChampyGPT that can help you write things.

I mean, even he, the writer of this book, who was writing about a time when it would be really easy for sci-fi writers, he wasn't even able to see how easy, he wasn't even able to predict how easy it really would be that there'd be this program that could write really shit things for you, but that you could fix and make it better. Yes, you could write the shit things for you, but that you could fix and make it better.

Yes, you could write the shit things really, really quickly. Yeah, so everything's great for sci-fi writers, okay? But what that means, though, is that maybe the way that we flip this dystopia situation we're on the precipice of is everybody needs to become a sci-fi writer, right? I see. So the only reason, you know, it sounds like an unfair situation

if it's only the sci-fi writers who are having a good time. But then what that tells me is that we all just need to become science fiction writers, all imagining future worlds for each other. I guess it could be a good currency if saying what's actually happening makes you feel bad. Then it makes sense if everybody becomes a sci-fi writer and says how things could be much worse. Yes. You know?

That's a great gift. And it's a great gift into feeling comfortable and happy about the present. But, I mean, as things get bad, right, as things really do start to fall over, it's going to be harder and harder to imagine how things could be worse. But it's going to be more and more important. We're going to need that much more, much more. And the sci-fi writers will ascend to the status of gods. Oh, you know what, Andy?

We will go to their churches every weekend and wait to hear, God, I hope, you know, what will he come up with this week now that all our feet have rotten off and our eyes have turned into... You know what that's called, Andy? That's actually a utopia dystopia. Ah. You see, that's where it becomes so difficult to imagine. Utopias.

Yeah. You see, that's where we're heading. And he wrote about this in this book, that at some point the people who can come up with any kind of utopia... No, but in my one, these people are trying to come up with kind of utopia. No, but in my one, these people are trying to come up with things that are worse.

No, you're right. They are coming up with things that are worse. So it's more of a dystopia dystopia. No, but it still is. Oh yeah, you're right. It is a dystopia dystopia. But in a way,

God damn it. I don't have the explanation because I've given up that's okay but can you write down my idea about how the people who can come up with ways in which things could be worse

will become that'll be the most valuable skill because when at the moment I think people say well it could be worse right but in the future people will be like how how could it be worse i can't think of a single way and then the wise and creative men will be like well normal fire ants but they were fire ants that were covered in spikes you'd be like you're right it could be worse and then and then a couple of

months later that's come true right and you're like well what about now sorry the fire ants they bred with rose bushes and now they're all spiky, and they're hungry for anus space. The anus is the only place that's not too hot for them to live. And even though they're called fire ants, they actually don't like it to be too hot. They love the cool, damp space. It actually just feels like fire in your butt. If that's not too crude of a term. Yeah. It actually just feels like fire in your butt. Hmm. If that's not too crude of a term.

Well, I don't think he'll have time for the nicest he or she, these sci-fi imagineers. That's a great detail about this dystopia, dystopia. Hmm. Prophets. They're kind of prophets. Is that how you say it? God-like prophets? Yeah, I didn't say the word prophets,

but I think that is exactly the word that I wish I had said. Yeah, that's because I've been sitting here with the sentence unfinished for at least a minute, searching for the correct term. You know how there's like pastors? At the moment, my mind is confronted with two very different paths down which I can speculate. Yes, pastors. You know how there's pastors.

I mean, I said it in a way that could almost not be interpreted multiple ways. Okay. Pastors. So do you think that I mean like bow tie and fusilli and stuff like that? Is that what you mean? Even with that hard R? You interpreted it that way? Now, I'm afraid because I went to, because of the church that I went to,

the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, Alice, there, you haven't clarified anything. Because in that church, our pastors are named after famous pastor varieties. So we're not getting any closer to the truth. I'm sorry, I'll stop. That's okay, Andy. No, I'm going to kill myself. No, no, no. It's actually going to be quite...

I mean, could you write a note to get Carly to send me your half of the recording after you do it, though? Because or else, I think that this would make... I mean, you doing it on pod definitely makes it a good, like, solid end point for the pod. Yes. And I can't be to blame, except for if people listen to the episode and they realize I drove you to it.

There's just me and a fly in this room. Yeah. And it keeps landing on my head it's not a pleasant experience oh really do you think it's like a because you know how flies often maybe I'm thinking more of mosquitoes

but a lot of like those kind of like larval things they start in a a liquid kind of thing you know like they lay their eggs in a liquid so do you think it could be like a cyanide fly from your cyanide lake? I've spoken to people about this.

Apparently most of the cyanide has settled to the bottom of the lake by now, Alistair. Okay. I'm so sorry. I don't really believe that you're being affected by cyanide. I haven't been able to tell from the deterioration of your mental function. Well, there are so many other possible causes. Yeah.

It's difficult to, you know, pin it down. Correlation does not imply causation, Alastair. What about, like, a school that their focus, it's a private school, their focus is on keeping your kids dumb so that they'll be happier throughout life? Yeah. Great.

So they will coddle them. They will keep them... I mean, is that that in a way religious schools do they do that to a certain extent um but like this one you don't even have to like you don't even have to like bow down it's like more chill that's that's one of their main selling points we're more chill than religious schools because a lot of religious schools they're like now just private expensive kind of things and well well, you'll meet people, blah, blah, blah. It's like this one.

It's that like it's not going to give you any. They're not going to give you like any like advantage in society. It's not that it's going to be like one of those ones that will like give you contacts with some yeah um some you know politicians kids or something like that yeah it's it's like it's really like it's it does the job that a private school i know that a public school would do if you were a kid that wasn't suited to that kind of teaching style totally you know so i, ignorance is bliss, right? But it's getting harder and harder to maintain that ignorance.

Because information is so freely available. Exactly, right? And critical... Kids these days have, you know, great critical thinking skills a lot of the time and are able to... They're very engaged and very switched on, very aware, socially aware of a lot of the problems

and things that are, you aware, socially aware of a lot of the problems and things that are challenging for society. And we guarantee we will stamp that out. And the kids won't know as well. We'll make them think that they're learning important stuff, but they're not. Yeah, but if they ask questions, the teachers will teach them skills that they're going to need for later life.

But it'll be like when a kid asks a question, they'll say, the teacher will teach them skills that they're going to need for later life um but it'll be like when a kid asks a question they'll say the teacher will respond i don't know that shit like that and and it's about oh wow instilling that pride in not knowing not knowing things you know yeah who gives who gives a fuck but But they'll say, who gives? Like that, because it's like school. You don't want to hear kids swearing. Who gives? Who gives a... Don...

Don... Dongle. Donnie... Donnie Dongle. Who gives a Donnie Dongle? It's really good. Yeah. Gee Willikers. It's a really good. G. Willikers.

That's a really good one. G. Willikers. I'm going to start saying that a lot more. I mean, but do you think that if there was a proven method that was going to give your kids the happiest possible life, and it meant, and it meant, and picture this in real life, right? Yeah.

They find out through scientific proof, right? Through the closest thing that you can get, that if your kids don't know too much, if they don't learn a lot, especially in school, if they're not knowledgeable in science and reason and law. World affairs. World affairs and culture and philosophy and things like that,

that they will lead the happiest life that they can, that is possible. Would you avoid those things? It feels it would be cruel otherwise, wouldn't it? I know, but you have been raised in this system where you're, because in a way, like you're hearing this, but you also kind of deep down are like,

yeah, but like, let's say this is real, but like a scientific paper saying this is real. Yes. Do you think that you would react by going, it's probably bullshit? Like, and then they're like, this is a meta... Then they release a meta-analysis of a hundred different studies of this kind of things. And then this also says that that is the case.

Do you think that you personally would... Because it still feels like a risk, right? Not teaching your kids stuff yeah but i got heaps so it's a risk i can afford to take yeah you know do it for some of them um i think that there's a no i think i would believe that i think i can completely believe that that is the case and it's a thing that i think about all the time because there are a lot of bad things in the world and at some point I'm going to have to explain them to my children. And I think in many ways it would be nicer for them

not to have to know that, right? There are things about the potential devastating consequences of climate change where I'm like, how do you even begin to teach a kid that that could be part of the future? I think one of the greatest gifts you can give your kids is not tell them. Exactly, exactly.

And so that's exactly what we're talking about here, right? But then you want them to not only... But then they might still learn about it somewhere. So you've got to really make sure your kid is stupid enough to not be able to even understand the information when it comes along. And that way, when things start to go really bad in the world, they'll just think it's a series of unrelated coincidences and not a trend and they won't think that it's pointing in one particular direction because that's the other devastating thing is

the idea that it might be a one-way track and now instead of being like wow every summer's been hotter than the last one i I guess that'll continue forever. They'll be like, gosh, every hotter's been... Every summer's hotter than the last one. At the moment, you know, they'll just be like... I guess it'll be good when the cool change comes and they'll just sit around waiting for that until it's all over. Well, there'll still be cycles I think, probably. But I think

that you can only do your bit. I don't think you can you know, like you can't stop information from getting to them. But you can give them a few years with less anxiety, I think. Yeah. You know, and I think that that's a great gift because you kind of go, because I think

it's not, the reason why it's not useful is because they can't do anything with the information. They can't do anything to stop it. Yes. Even though I have more and more thoughts all the time that you and I should somehow just go into engineering for like 10 years and then just solve this thing. 10 years and then just solve this thing the truth is alistair that we would not be able to right that that that is one of the problems for um changing the world is that everybody comes along and thinks and claps their hands together and says right i guess i'm gonna have to be the one to solve this. That's not what we need. What we need is people to be cogs in the machine, doing little bits.

And, you know, if we wanted to make a difference, probably it would be in an extremely anonymous way. I don't think... Giving money to people who are actually doing stuff. Andy, I don't believe that. I think... Really? Yeah, I don't believe.... Really? Yeah, I don't believe.

Really? I think as like, because in the end, we're not going to help. It could only happen with the gigantic money sources, right? And I think that what I'm pushing for, and of course, it is that same thing that you said. what I'm pushing for. And of course, it is that same thing that you said. It's the ignorant, like, I'm going to change the world thing, but there are... It's the aces in the hole.

It's the little possible... Long shots. Yeah, the long shots, the new things, the blue sky, like, potential things that could come out of nowhere and be like, actually... It's the guys who didn't know what wasn't possible. They were only able to do it because they didn't know that it couldn't be done.

Yeah. And that's how they did it. And there's nobody who knows less about what they can't do than these two guys. It's countries and billionaires and companies that have to solve this now. It's too late. Or some maverick

who mostly plays a fake engineer. And that's going to be hard for their credibility when they're trying to get people on board with this thing. I've thought about that. About how if I went back to being a real engineer, they'd be like, but why aren't you a person who plays a fake engineer who sells a whole lot of bullshit you go don't let that ruin my credibility i mean i the fact that i know what's

ridiculous means that i'm actually relatively informed i'm actually not that informed but god i feel like i've said anything something that makes it sound like i think in any way positive about myself and now i feel extreme shame extreme negative extremely negative about myself as a result okay the balance is maintained four or five technically i think we have five i love a technicality yeah wait let's see one's see. One, two, three, four, five, six. Okay, I think we have five because one of them is definitely not one. Yeah, right.

So I think we have five. So would you be willing to go to three words from a listener? Of course. Well, today's listener, Andy, is Aidan Cain Earl. Aidan Cain Earl. Oh, yes. The classic. Here we go.

It's a classic Aidan Cain Earl threefer. Three names of a listener. Three names of a listener. One word from each of his names. Yes, that's right. And the first word, Andy, that Aidan Cain Earl, and this is going to be the word from Aidan. Oh, you want me to guess it? Yeah.

Okay, the first word is pupil. Pupil, Andy. Really? Is that what you thought it was going to be? Oh, look, no, not really. I didn't really think that. You didn't think that, did you, Andy? Well, why don't you just... I'm going to let you try it one more time. Okay, here's... Okay, I'm going to...

All right, all right. The first word is... Tombra. Tombra? You know what? You're definitely closer. But God damn it, it's still so far. You think I'm going to have a third go?

Eh? Can I have a third try? You can have a third go to Eh? Can I have a third try? Okay, you can have a third go. If I'm closer now? That's the first word. Okay. Piercing. I'm not sure if that is closer. I mean, look, the piercing often goes into a sort of like a hoop.

It's like it goes and creates a hole, and this word does have an O in it which is a hole okay so the first word is kairos kairos which is an ancient

Greek word meaning the right critical or opportune moment okay and well that's in ancient Greek. In modern Greek, it also means weather or time.

Okay, how's that spelled? K-A-I-R-O-S. I love that word. Yeah, Kairos. Kairos, I don't know. Okay, second word, Andy. Oh, I've got to guess it. Yes. Okay, the second word is... Oh, this is the word from the cane.

From cane. Okay, number plate. Number plate, Andy. No, no, no, no. Think... Okay, I'm going to give you a second shot, and I want you to think closer to home. Okay.

Closer to home. Kairos. Kairos. Kairos. Is it G-I-R-O-S? I didn't say closer to Kairos, Andy. I said closer to home. Is it doorstep? That's pretty close to home.

I think that's the closest you're going to get. Andy, the second word is banjo. You see? And I feel like you have a banjo close to your doorstep somewhere. Yes, I do. Andy, can you see your banjo right now? No, I can't because I've come to the laundry to record today. Yes, of course.

Well, that's where I am, of course. As well. Okay, the third word, Andy. Okay. The third word. K. The third word. Kairos. Banjo. Don't say something that you would say.

I think that's my best. Mangina? I think that's a pretty good guess. It's a pretty good guess. Yeah, yeah. It's no, but it's not that. It's a pretty good guess. Yeah, yeah. No, but it's not that. It's tartuffery. Well, Mr. Earl, Aiden?

Yes, that was the word for Earl. Yeah, that's really great. Well done. What is a tartufferie? Well, it's the character or behavior of a tartuff. Tartuffe, maybe? Okay. But a tartuffe or tartuffe is for us from,

it's a religious hypocrite and protagonist in Moliere's play Tartuffe. Well, okay, so we'll just synthesize those ideas. I love it when they give us a nice easy one. I mean, where the sketch idea is just laid out for you, and you basically don't really have to do any work. I really enjoy these. So we've got Kairos, which I guess we'll take the ancient Greek, the right or critical opportune moment

to be kind of a religious hypocrite with a banjo. You know, to pluck at the strings of a... What about this? What about this? Outside a pope, you know. Have we already pitched this as an idea?

Outside of a pope? Outside a pope. But it's like, you know how they... This is the thing about, you know, the pope, the Catholic Church, they always promote from within, right? But sometimes if you need, you really want to get those ideas, you've got to go outside the organization if you really want to shake things up. And I think they need it, right?

So I think they need a pope who comes maybe from a business background, but then the banjo made me think maybe from a music background. Well, somebody who's very, you know, like a very popular folk musician. Let's see. What about this guy who's done like a right-wing song? Oh, yeah, that guy. Because that kind of would appeal to... Augustus?

What's his name? Yeah, I'm not sure. Yeah, but he's done a little bit of a right-wing song. Yeah, but he parlays that profile into popewood. Into a... A run for pope. Yeah, he announces that he's going to run for pope. I think it's a really good idea.

The people's pope. He's a populist. He's a populist. I was thinking about a Pope thing recently. You know how your last name, once upon a time, came from your father's profession? Yeah. Right? How did Michael Pope, that warm-up comedian that we know, where did his surname come from?

Yeah. What's going on there? Because, of course course popes are famously not supposed to be anybody's dad. Yeah, but what about all these retiring popes that we have now? Oh, that's true. Do you think they could get

there? They could retire and then inject some sperm into some eggs. Because I mean, that would be great. A pope that retires to have kids he goes i've decided that i actually do want kids because that would be great if you were quite a young pope and then you could get to be pope and then be like hey will you write a book about how popes can Yeah. So he retires as Pope and he gets back his pre-Pope body. That's right.

And so, which is, what do you picture being Pope does to your body? Well, I think a lot of them end up in a wheelchair, from what I've seen. Yeah, I guess John Paul II was kind of shitting himself and stuff like that. Um, yeah. A Pope who could have it all.

It's a lot of pressure. Sort of like a version of lean in, but for Pope. Popes. Yeah, it's really great. Yeah. I also, I don't know what, if this is enough, but when we were discussing it earlier, there was the thought of people who are very reactionary, who are likely to yell stuff, if there was a way to maybe play them as an instrument.

Oh, really good. Maybe do you offend them? I guess so. You've got to offend them. Yeah, and extract the responses, but you'd need to have them divided up into different groups. Maybe different hate groups. If different hate groups had a different average pitch...

I guess every group is going to have a different average pitch. Yeah, I suppose if they're different demographics, that'd be really good. Then you'd get them all lined up... All the elderly, the children. Every group is going to have a different average pitch. Yeah, I suppose if they're different demographics, that'd be really good. Then you get them all lined up along an airline runway or something like that in different sections. Yeah. They wouldn't even have to be in different sections. I suppose that'd be the beautiful thing about it.

They could be all intermingled if they'd be up for that sort of thing. I'm not sure that they would be. Some of the hate groups may not be, yeah. But they'd all just be there in a mass, and then you just have a big digital screen, right, and you put up different images that makes them yell out in disgust, the different groups. What you're really doing here, Alistair,

is we're turning a dog whistle into an actual instrument. Yes. You say you're playing the dog whistle. I'm playing it because it has a resonance effect. Because it's kind of like going from a marimba to a vibraphone. Exactly. The dog whistle. They're all in a pipe. That's right.

All the bigots are in a pipe. Well, no, I mean like if you just play the dog whistle and there's no bigots around, right? It's just a single sound, right? But then if you have this resonance hate group, right, that you play in front of, then the sound kind of echoes back. It's somewhat transformed. Yes.

Yeah. Correct. And you just say a series then of key phrases or images or whatever it is, and you get responses, and you modulate it, and you can, yeah, it's a... A simple idea. A simple idea from a simple set of words. When I say he was instrumental in dividing society, my emphasis is on the word instrumental.

Instrument. Andy, should I take us through the sketch ideas for this the Two in the Think Tank episode 398 I think we're probably

going to end up doing maybe 401 before we do 400 do you think? Yeah sure I still haven't bothered to work it out

No me neither Oh but we should remind the audience that we're doing it October 7th, a Melbourne time. October 7th. It is happening. Starting, what do you think, 6 or 6.30? 6?

I think 6. I think it's starting at 6am. Because it would be great to not be there at 6am again still. The next day. Yes. Yes. But there's a chance we will be, correct? There's a chance we will be, correct? There's a chance we will be correct.

Yeah. All right. Well, let me take us through today's sketch ideas. We've got Obsidian and a Cinnamon, a school group that teach how different people can get along, or not even different people, different things. Yeah. Do you think one of us is dressed up as Obsidian

and the other one is dressed up as a cinnamon? I think so. Yeah. Hey, cinnamon. Hang on. This is going to be weird, but I have to go respond to a kid who's woken up.

Oh, okay. This is a very interesting part of the podcast. Do you want to text me a photo of it, or do you really need to go right away? It's okay. It's okay. Indiana was still up, so that's good. All right.

Now we've got the little Wuhan hungry metal gobbler, and then he does make, when he eats all the metal, and then he makes a mud that's sterile. when he eats all the metal and then he makes a mud that's sterile. But one question I was wanting to ask you that I didn't get around to when we were talking about this is that you said that if we ran out of metal,

we would all die. And do you think that that would be the case still even in this little metal, a Hungry Metal Gobbler scenario? No, little metal, a Hungry Metal Gobbler scenario. No, I think in the Hungry Metal Gobbler scenario, I can imagine some of us surviving in this post-metal world. Yeah, I think we would probably invent

cardboard hospitals so that he can't eat all of them. And probably, maybe even a tile hospital where everything is made out of them. And probably, maybe even a tile hospital, where everything is made out of tiles. All the implements, the cutting implements, they're broken tiles. The bandages, they're tiles that you've boiled for long enough until they go soft like a noodle.

I think we'd invent new metal. New metal, oh yes. Limp Bizkit, were they Nu Metal? I think so, yeah. No. No, Limp Bizkit were, they were pretty close to that. Yeah, I would say so. Yeah, great.

Then we have the Living in a Dystopia Utopia with the guy who predicted how good it would be for sci-fi writers. And then we have the next idea, which is kind of linked to this, but then we have the people who can come up with situations that are worse, become godlike prophets.

That's right. That's right. Thank you for responding. We just want to hear how, you know, we don't want to, we will no longer want to hear of good things in the afterlife. We just want to hear about ways. Bad things in the current life.

Yes. Then we have private school that keeps them dumb for maximum happiness. Then we have right-wing folk musician who decides to run for Pope. Then we have the book about how Popes can have it all. This is from the Pope who, the young Pope who decided to retire and have children. Yep. And then there's the playing the dog whistle.

Beautiful. What do you think? Go to the song? Yeah, I think so. It'll kill Earl. It'll kill Earl. It'll kill Earl. It'll kill Earl. It'll kill Earl. It'll kill Earl. Yeah, I think so Thank you so much for listening to me I feel like all those sketch ideas Were exactly as good as one another

Today Sometimes there are highs and lows And today they're all exactly the same Except that you do get a little bit of extra joy picturing the hungry little metal goblin. Oh, that's true. That was a real highlight for me. His horrible little face.

His horrible little... Holding all your metal and trying to run away from it. His yucky little eating sounds. Yeah. There'd be a lot of twisted metal. Why do they keep developing these things At that lab in Wuhan What are they doing

It's the same lab too Do you reckon there's a If I went on Spotify right now I could find a heavy metal band Called Wuhan Bats Yeah probably I wouldn't be surprised I bet you there is.

But not... I bet you wouldn't find one called Hungry Little Metal Gobbler. But that's what you would be looking for metal on that Spotify. Indeed. I think... Look, there's a chance I will be on this week's episode of Who Knew It with Matt Stewart.

It's very exciting. It's always a good time. I think that's all I have to promote. Wonderful. Yes, it's a very, very good time. Can we talk about whether or not you'll be making an appearance in Blocktober? I will be making an appearance in Blocktober, but I can say no more. I can say no more.

All right. I have not signed an NDA, but I feel like they've asked me to not disclose agreements that we've had. All right. I have an NDIA. I'm not allowed to disclose all of the agreements that I've had. Oh, no. All right. I have an NDNDA.

All right, guys. We should go. And I have an NDABN. And we... Non-disclosure Australian business number. Love you. Bye. Bye. So no, you can't get snowballs on Uber Eats. But meatballs and mozzarella balls, yes, we can deliver that.

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