Two In The Think Tank - 400 - "400 Sketch Ideas" - Part 5

Episode Date: November 15, 2023

Part 5 of Episode 400 of Two in the Think Tank. Words can't express our gratitude to: Evan and Bec and the team at Stupid Old Studios for setting this up. Friend of the show Ellie Durkin for the amazing background art. The courageous and kind guests who joined us at all hours. Stu, The Macaroni Prince himself for stepping in and editing this colossal audio file. Everyone who tuned into the live feed. And of course our beloveds for making it all possible.Thank you for listening. And thank the universe for being intelligible so that such a thing as listening is even possible; at least up until about hour 15.Watch the FULL VIDEO of the original livestream hereGustav and Henri Volume 2 is now available to purchase in Australia here!You can support the pod by chipping in to our patreon here (thank you!)Join the other TITTT scholars on the TITTT discord server hereHey, why not listen to Al's meditation/comedy podcast ShusherDon't forget TITTT Merch is now available on Red Bubble. Head over here and grab yourselves some material objectsYou can find us on twitter at @twointankAndy Matthews: @stupidoldandyAlasdair Tremblay-Birchall: @alasdairtb and instaAnd you can find us on the Facebook right here Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

What are they gonna call Diet Coke next? What do we have? We had Coke, Diet Coke, we had Coke Zero, we had Coke No Sugar, Coke Nothing. That's too many. Nook? They should call it Nook. They should call it Nook. Nook Anola. Nook Anola. Absolutely.

Pepsi hasn't done any of that, so they've like Pepsi Max. That's it, right? Yeah, right. They're stuck in the planet straight. Yeah, I don't really know. Not a soft drink guy really. Sure. But yeah, it seems like Pepsi Max is just locked in on on brand. Also, they're what they consider to be the Max is removing something. Yeah, isn't that interesting? Taking something away. Yeah. I would say it implies there's like a sort of a pure essence of Pepsi.

Maximum Pepsi possible is achieved by taking things away. Maybe it's taking away other things from like to get closer to the essence of like maximum Pepsi. Like if you get a can of Pepsi. Yes. That's Pepsi and sugar. Yes. This is less Pepsi in there. Right. Very good. You can't have Pepsi max.

That's the maximum Pepsi they can fit in that. Hmm. I think allowing space for the sugar. Well, the sugar would have to take that away. Yeah, I think that's great. Like it's like, it is a bit like the, Michael Ahingelo, the thing about Michael Angelo and like looking at the block of marble and saying he saw David in there and he had just to take away all the bits that weren't.

Yeah, yeah. Michael Angelo is David, right? It's the same with Pepsi. They look at a can of Pepsi. They take away all the bits that aren't Pepsi Macs. Or that aren't Pepsi, and they get Pepsi Macs. Is that a sketch where it's like, David Max? If we take away the Max or non-Max elements of it, but it's just that there's, that's

how the Pepsi factory works, that they have this kind of, these renaissance style geniuses like about, and what's coming down the conveyor belt could be anything. It's just a sort of just random shit. Yeah, okay. And he's a geniuses remove all the bits that aren't Pepsi. Everything that isn't Pepsi. And then Pepsi comes out the other end. I mean, I could believe this for a recycling plant.

Yeah. Where it's maybe instead of Pepsi, it's aluminium, scrap aluminium. Yeah. But if we can make it work for Pepsi, I think that's incredible. That's how the bottling process of Pepsi was. It's not used. All everything in the universe comes into the factory. Reconceivable thing comes in one.

Yes. And then they have. Then Renaissance style geniuses who take away everything that isn't. Yeah, all that is not Pepsi. Yeah, I think that's really profound. Yeah. Just write down renaissance genius style production line because you could do it for anything. It doesn't have to be Pepsi. I mean obviously the original idea is Pepsi and I'd hesitate to go away from that. Yeah, but I mean, obviously the original idea is Pepsi, and I'd hesitate to go away from that.

Yeah. But, you know what, in fact, it's perfect. I'm not gonna change anything. I'm not even gonna leave open the possibility of changing anything, because as soon as I thought of anything, it got closer to being something that was plausible, and that, I think, takes me away from the idea max of your idea,

which is something that's implausible. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I like that. I like, and this isn't to do with the long show, more of the show in general, how the idea of a sketch has just been sort of broadened to like a surreal thought experiment. Yeah. It really has.

Oh, with this. Long time experiment. Yeah, it really has. Oh, with this. Long time ago. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Not just today, but like any episode. Yeah, after the 100th episode, it was suddenly like you can have, you know, you can be like a product, is it? A weird idea.

Yeah. Have a weird idea. You know what we haven't come up with today is any ideas for new sausages. Mmm. I mean, a banana sausage, which is not that it's got a banana flavor, but it's a sausage that is a little bit curved like this and it comes in the sausages. And it comes in a skin that you... Like my sausages.

No, no, no, but that you peel, right? But like a... But an actual banana skin where it's like, you would think it was a banana and you pe... And there's a sausage just... I mean, that is very interesting. To be able to bridge the gap between veg and meat, to grow like a banana that actually does have... People love to tell people that bananas aren't actually, what is it?

They're not actually a fruit. The tree, it's a herb or something. Imagine that. Banana's not actually a fruit. It's a sausage. Yeah. That's an even bigger one. Look to me. Yeah.

I see your banana. I see your banana, isn't fact. And I raise you, my banana isn't fact. I think, like, if you went to a, you know, so it's my stomach, just making a weird... I thought you got a text yeah that and If you like went to like a meat factory and you found all the ground up

Shlop that kind of comes out of there yeah cool like that and then you put that in a pot and then you grew a banana tree in there Hmm, right it's meat growing. It's meat growing banana. This is like my idea earlier from a tree that can eat meat But this is even better. It's growing in meat. This is like the opposite of grass-fred beef. Yeah It's beef fed banana. Exactly. And then I think the banana will just at least be brown Yeah, at least at the very least we could expect the banana to be brown I mean, that's just science. Exactly. And so then that's already closer to meat. Way closer. Yeah. Closer than I thought we could ever hope to get with this idea. I mean bananas can often get. They can't get for us. You're less forget that. Yeah.

But anyway, look, we engineer a meat. Just write down meat growing banana. Meat growing. I mean, meat growing grass, beef grown grass, it's something but I don't think it has as much joy. It's got more clarity, but it doesn't have as much joy. Sure, sure, sure, it's got the... It's the meat growing banana. By the way, you're going... You see, you're going along to the meat factory

and you're getting all the slop that they slush out. I reckon at the end of the process, there's not a lot of slop being slushed out. I reckon everything's gone into a sausage at some point, some grade of sausage or meat pie or dog food. It's even blood like that. Yeah, absolutely. They're putting the blood in the dog food.

For sure they're putting blood in dog food. Or they're putting it in blood and bone fertilizer or something like I really think those places. Yeah. Maybe the only thing they're, but you know, if the bone is blood. What about the fingers of the workers who get... Sure, sure, that's the only waste product. You can grow, you can pick up a bucket or two of those at the end of a shift and grow

your bananas in those. Lady finger banana, this will be a man finger banana. On account of it's growing in there. Man's fingers. Man's fingers. Man hand. Man hand. You know, it's a banana, but there's actually five bananas, but you can only open it all five at the same time.

Mm. Like that, because they all got the same head. It's like a, like a conjoined banana. Like that. And it's like, you commit to an eating challenge banana. Okay. All right. I'm eating, I'm going to eat five bananas. Yeah. And it's like, it's something you don't see in fruit shops a lot. But this is a fruit, there's a fruit shop that has these bananas. But it says, if you can eat five, five bananas,

like five, you know, five headed bananas, you can get all your groceries, you can fruit and veg groceries for a film like that. And so people just, but then if you don't, you gotta pay for all those bananas. And those are not cheap bananas. Yeah. You know what we're talking, upwards of $10 per kilo.

At a lot of that is skin weight. That's, we're talking cyclone, yesee prices. Yeah, cyclone, yesee. So this is, you know, big, big challenges, like another kind of things like man versus meal. Like. So, you know, big challenges, like, another kind of thing, like man versus meal, like that. Man versus food, man versus food, but it's the vegetarian thing.

And he's going to green grocers that are putting on big, you know, you got to eat. Is there a brown grocers? Many nine apples. There are any other types of grocers? Okay. Well, you got a green grocer, you got a brown grocer. What's the brown grocer?

Well, I have you. I'm saying you've never seen a brown grocer. Well, maybe that's a butcher. I'm gonna say I'm, you got a brown grossa. What's the brown grossa? Well, I have you. I've never seen a brown grossa. Well, maybe that's a butcher. I'm going to say I'm going to go to the brown grossa. Yeah. Doesn't sound nice though, does it? Maybe that's where you could get potatoes. Root vegetables.

Root vegetables. Yeah. I feel like the red grossa would be the butcher. Yeah. Red grossa. Oh, red grossa. Yeah, as you said, potatoes or kind of thing. Sure. This is almost nothing but I'll just write it down.

This is not running on the green grosser eating channel and which felt like it was almost nothing but I was like, you know, it's a weird thing that you don't say. There's always like, eat a shitload of meat, eat a steak that's bigger than your torso. That kind of stuff like that, right? But never like eat like 70 papayas.

That, and they're always awful tasting. Papayas. Yeah, like papayas and paupas, both, I thought they were the same thing. They need to be better. Well, look good. But this is the thing, dried paw paw. Yeah.

One of the great joys. I've never enjoyed it. Really, you don't like dried paw paw. No. I don't mind the paw paw. Fresh paw paw is yuck. Yeah. The paw paw lip balm is fantastic.

But isn't the paw, the purple dry stuff? It's this weird crystalline version. Yeah, yeah, I hate that. I love that. I hate that texture. Yeah, right. Well, I mean, do you think that all the really shit fruits, they have somebody who comes along and they say,

maybe this could be a balm? Right? They try it out as a balm. Maybe you don't got what it takes to make it as a fruit, but you could be a balm. Yeah. Well, you're gonna, you're gonna, don't worry, kid. There's a bomb. Maybe you don't got what it takes to make it as a fruit, but you could be a bomb. Yeah. You're gonna, don't worry, kid.

There's a future for you. You say to the fruit. Yeah. What's like, cause I always feel like banana flavor. I like banana flavored things so much more than I like eating a banana. Sure.

I could not disagree more. I feel like we're there. A great distance is growing between both of you. A great irony, I'm really sorry. Yeah. I like bananas and a smoothie. I like banana bread. Yeah.

But the idea of just like peeling a banana and eating it is like survival only. Oh, when you said banana flavor, I thought you meant like artificial banana flavor. Like a banana, or ice cream, or a banana, lolly or something. Yeah, I don't mind that. I like that.

I prefer that kind of thing. To a banana. To a banana or ice cream or a banana lollie or something. Yeah, I don't mind that. I like that. I prefer that kind of thing. Who a banana. Who a banana, yeah. I've heard people say that apparently that flavor is what old bananas used to taste like. And they don't taste like that anymore. Do you feel about Jackfruit? I feel like I've had it hardly ever.

I feel like if there was an Andy fruit, I'd at least give it a good go. Yeah, yeah. Because I don't know, people use it to replicate bacon somehow, and I don't really like those. We're gonna think you're into thinking something's meat. Mm. Things.

Yeah, you want to have a bad version of bacon? Well, we can make one out of this fruit. Yeah. Be really expensive. Yeah, I should try Jack fruit because it's... I'm interested in bread fruit. Yeah. I'd love to be able to grow bread fruit. Yeah. I don't know much about it, but you know apparently it's a superfood. Isn't it weird that all the superfoods are foods that nobody really wants to eat? Yeah, I mean there are all things that

just like need a real promo boost. Yeah. You know, they're like, oh, yeah, we got, I got some goji berries and nobody grows those. And so you should buy my goji berries. All right. Goji berries don't taste very good. There was a real period where you could sell anything and if it had like a, kind of an ancient Aztec warrior, you were right it. Yeah, you were right. Well, I got to have that. That was a moment when they found that a hacker's loophole in the human psyche, where they were like, turns out, people will buy anything

if you put an Aztec on it. Yeah. And they just exploited that loophole until eventually, we were able to close it. Yeah, we were able to physically be like, wait, they're a culture that died out, I don't know. They could perform a lot of human sacrifices. Yeah.

You're sure that they're synonymous with the... Like, health, being old doesn't mean healthy. I think I realized recently when I saw, like, I encountered a, like, self, not a self-help, but a thing was like, they're essentially self-help, but they're that's like, essentially self-help, but we're going to better your life, right? I hadn't realized that the self-help kind of thing like that is what the real magic of it is, they have to find a way to convince you that they could help you.

And that there is something, like a lot of self-help stuff is like, oh, we'll fix your time management or something like that. And this one was a guy who was like, I'll fix the way that you talk. And that'll be the thing. Once you communicate better, you'll be a different person. And people will think that you're more successful. And I was like, he got me to the point

where I went and just checked how much it cost. And then it was like $500. And I was like, actually, I don't need to. I'll just go watch all your old videos. And the stuff that you're given away for free anyway is most of your course. Is he talking well in the videos? Yeah, and then he even pretends to talk badly for a bit, you know? Hmm. Like a before and after.

Yeah. But it isn't at all, just the actor, it's so much of hooking people in and content and whatever it is these days is saying, you've been doing this thing wrong. Right? And you're like, I had no idea. Seemed to be going fine, but maybe you're right. Maybe I'm doing that wrong

and maybe that's the problem with my whole life. Yeah. You've been eating mangoes all wrong. I mean, like if you're pressing them into my eyeball. I think like breathing is one that they could get you with. Yeah, all you've been breathing all wrong. That mean, if they pressure them into my eyeball. I think breathing is one that they could get you with. Yeah, all you bit breathe and all wrong. That's the right one. Because you go, well, that's something I do all the time.

That probably affects how fast my brain works. Mm. Pardon me. That's our YouTube video that was like, this is why your neck isn't growing. Yeah. Jim guys who are all like like boxes as well, like do like neck strengthening exercises, like bodybuilders and like fighters who want to strengthen them.

Trying to get their neck up. Yeah, and it's like these guys who always talk about how thick Mike Tyson's neck was at his prime and that's like a real thing that they wish they had. Yeah. And I was just like, yeah, I'm sure my neck could be growing a lot more, but it's not. I'm okay with that. You're going to get those neck gains. Some parts of your life, you can sort of just let go of it.

You know what, I'm going to be happy for this part of my body to stop growing. Yeah, my neck's fine. I don't need more neck. I think one of the ways that you could trick people is you could go, because you know, like some people are like, well, actually the reason why there's there's like so many you've been shitting wrong your whole life I mean they did that with that with the steppie party or whatever it was They really yeah, and they were like it's because you've been been shitting on this on this angle You know sitting on a toilet this but really we're designed to squat yes

They bring a thing that brings you somebody did that you've been shitting wrong your whole life thing You know, but what about it you know, like people talk about, like, like, the reason why influencers, it's like, you know, especially those fitness ones, it's all, a lot of it is bullshit whether like, you wanna get abs, is that a lot of the time? It's just that you're a person whose genetics mean that you can get abs.

But if you're like, hey, do you know why they're genetics? You know, like why their bodies are things that can get abs. You go, well, I'm gonna teach you how to change your body. Yeah, you know that one, you do. Yeah, but like even if it is like, it's like for them, they're like, it's not actually genetics. It's like, it's just this three simple things.

Like that, all right. Non-stop diarrhea. Yes. That's the key to everything. Okay, because you wanna be dehyd diarrhea. Yes. That's the key to everything. Okay, because you want to be dehydrated. Yeah. And then, it's like, you know, you're being tense. Actually, people say stress is bad,

but actually being stressed and tense all the time means that your muscles are never stopping working. I'm talking, like, you know, jaw clenching. I'm talking stiff you know jaw clenching I'm talking stiff elbow stiff shoulders Thighs are in agony You heard about resistance training every muscle in my body is fighting against every other muscle at all times My body would tear itself apart if I stopped concentrating for just one second That and that's why you going to be able to become ripped.

The third thing is vitamin C. Oh, wow. You're like, oh, you're like, oh, you got to get these ones that we get. Yeah, exactly. You got to sell. Potatoes. Potato vitamin C. Wow, underground vitamin C.

It's got to be meat grown potatoes. You know, these potatoes are growing two kilometers down in the Earth's crust. These are so, these are growing so far underground under such enormous pressure. The starches form an entirely new structure. This would be a great idea. We're going to grow these potatoes so deep in the ground.

Yeah. They get a bit of cook from the Earth's core. We're gonna grow these potatoes so deep in the ground. Yeah. They get a bit of cook from that. That's cool. You could call them mantle potatoes. There you go. You're like, we're getting these for all of a way. We're growing these in the mantle. Yeah, and this is what the Homo Habalus were doing.

Yeah, and this has got the word man in it as well, which is really nice. Yeah. And dehydrated from diarrhea. Diary, um. And dehydrated from diarrhea. Diarrhea. Can't believe you're writing down the dehydrated from diarrhea a bit. That's an important detail, and I'm sorry.

I think we should aim to have more instances of the word diarrhea, by the way. Well, we had a lot of dry areas. A lot. Never heard of this area. Oh, good. We have less dry area. One reference to that. Oh, I brought it up again a bit earlier. I'm genuinely not even complaining. I know. I'm also not complaining.

Good. One, two, three. I like the, I was thinking the other day about like that tensing to get muscles. Like is there a way you could, your whole gym routine? It's three hours. Like, if you could wheel yourself enough to tense hard enough,

like your, like, three weeks. Once per day, you just go, and that was your full body weight. Wow. Like, every day. Oh, but go really hard, like a full body on your face. Like, the neck, your, I know it's very similar to what you're just doing,

but just like once a day, if you had the mental fortitude to just, like a big explode to the point where it tears, micro tears, all of your muscles. Yeah, and then- But I feel like if you're getting that tense, you're probably almost like imploding, you're probably almost like shrinking your body.

Like by a visibly, you'd be visibly get smaller, just for a second, as you tense everything in your body together Contract all your muscles and then release. Yeah, it's called shrinking There's a new exercise. I assume I love it. I think the idea of just like the one second today Ten-second half a second half a second that's when you sit on shrinking like what about it? It's a it's an ad for a weight loss solution Half a second, that's a big thing. When you sit on shrinking, what about it's an ad for a weight loss solution. But everyone in the ad is just shrinking.

Like they're shrinking the whole body. Wow, wow, yeah, losing body fat at all. They're just way less because they're literally... Yeah, they completely, their proportions remain exactly as shrink, smaller and smaller, that's what they use the product. It's really funny, and they're like, you know, they're standing on the scale and like the numbers are going down. They're holding up their pants that they used to fit into.

They used to wear, but they're holding them up here. The head just like, it's just barely spinning out. Yeah, like the, they're wide still as well. So that's good, but like they could barely look over the top. They're unzipped the fly and the puff they're having. Really good. Yeah.

The shrinking weight loss solution. They got that, they got that jumper on, the sleeves, hang, it looks like they're wearing their dad's suit. Mm. Which, you know, is adorable. It looks like they're wearing Andre the giant suit. Mm. Yeah.

I wish there were more giants in popular culture. Yeah. I see like 80s and the stale just stuff. I wish there was a popular giant during my kind of... You were talking like an IRL real life giant man. Do you think Shack is a giant? I guess he's really big. You might even be taller than what Andre the giant was.

I don't think Andre the giant was like... I think I've seen like a... What they would have looked like together and... Shack is like a little baby. Next to Andre the Giant. Really? Yeah. Yeah, alright, because like I think I've read about Andre the Giant's full height and I've always been like, oh yeah. You know?

I mean he was big all over. He's definitely big for a guy called Andre. Mmm, sure. Yeah, no. like oh yeah you know I mean he was big all all over he's definitely big for a guy called Andre hmm sure yeah no you picture a nice little I mean 2.24 meters that's pretty tall that's pretty tall yeah 2.24 on to the giant was huge but towards the end he had a real bad back problems and couldn't stand up to full height my Wait, PK, but intent remains, I think. I'll see you though. I don't know.

Seven feet, four inches, yeah, okay, that's pretty tall. Yeah, that's big. Oh man, I've got a different person's voice at the moment. Yeah. I don't think this, this, this sounds like somebody who does a video for like a documentary about like all the people that were covered by the ash by Mount Vesuvius. On pay.

Mount Vesuvius was a monster volcano. And the people of Pompeii did not realize what was coming until it was too late. Suffocated by burning hot ash. How do you say that? How do you say that? How do you say that? How do you say that? How do you say that? How do you say that? How do you say that? How do you say that? How do you say that?

How do you say that? How do you say that? How do you say that? How do you say that? How do you say that? How do you say that? How do you say that? How do you say that?

How do you say that? How do you say that? How do you say that? How do you say that? How do you say that? How do you say that? How do you say that? How do you say that?

How do you say that? How do you say that? How do you say that? How do you say that? How do you say that? me the other day. Can people be turned into stone because they had seen those? Whoa! And I was like, oh, well, that's actually, that's a great question. Do you think that that's where some of the Medusa shit comes from? Could be. No, I think that was all that stuff. That's pretty, that's like, pretty, yeah, because this is, those were like ancient Greek. Yeah, but they might have been a similar event, right? Where some people went along and found some of that stuff. Hmm. From some other event. Yeah. Like, probably a Medusa situation. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Snake. It's like, this is pretty clear what this is. Snake-haired lady. Yeah. And this snake-haired lady rates 7.2 on the Richter scale. Do you think that that's exactly what, like, that those are kind of a version of what conspiracy theories were? Why don't I, you know? No, I mean, I think that everybody was,

well, obviously, none of us to believe. Similar things in the brain that seek the answers associated with religion are also the things that latch on to the easy answers and the anthropocentric answers of conspiracy theories. Yeah. It's like when people sometimes see an animal and they're like, I think that's my grandpa visiting me.

Mm. Yeah. You know, I would love to see somebody like that with like a car or a truck or something like that. You go. Do you see that big, big truck? I think that's grandpa. Do you see that? It's grunting like grandpa.

Now when you say big Mac truck, are you thinking about a Mac truck that's big or is it a truck that carries big Macs? McDonald's. Because it's made of wall since we had a McDonald's for a lighted sketch. I don't think you'd be like, I don't, again, I only know this from popular culture but like American stuff but there's that like,

I think it's called the Oscar Maya Wiener Mobile. It's like a car that's also a big car. Like a big car, don't you? Yeah, like that, but as a big Mac. Wow. Yeah, it drives around and that's your granddad. I would love to see a race between a big Mac truck against a regular truck carrying big Macs.

A good start. Against a truck with a sheet like a big Mac. And finally get to decide which one is the supreme big Mac truck. Is it a, would you call that a Macdowns Macdown? I think so. Yeah. And then you decide, you know, whoever wins, that's your grandpa. Yeah, really, who gets to be my grandpa? Yeah. Really good. Because you know, my grandpa loved Big Mac. But that was a friend of his. It was a guy. What about this? It's a

version of a show like The Bachelor, right? Yeah. Where somebody is trying to find out which beautiful woman is the reincarnation of their grandpa. Yeah. And instead of... Which of the beautiful women is the reincarnation of their grandfather?

I love that, but I would also like to throw into the mix. Yeah. They're all just different old men. Oh, okay. You don't have, it's a reality show where you pick who's gonna be your grandpa at the end. Mm. Gold is to be your grandpa.

Okay. Mm. Yeah, I'm open to that as well. Re and connection with the beautiful women also works. Yeah. The beautiful women gives it a kind of like, it's like you, the finding of the new Dalai Lama. I think you give him.

I think that's it. Your hand, your pipe and a slipper and things like that, and they get to go pick it from a bunch of slippers. And you go and, like, instead of dates, you're going and doing the kinds of things you would have done with your grandfather, like you're gonna go fishing. Stephanie, you have a lot of characteristics

that remind me of. But I've also noticed there's a strong romantic attraction between us, which I never had with you. Yeah, exactly. I had an amazing date with Leo last night and the kiss at the end of the evening was really special. But I'm sorry, you just don't kiss like my grandpa. I never kiss my grandpa in that way. I'm afraid you have to get out of here. Yeah. Um, Monique, the way that you would hold my grandpa's pipe in your mouth was so close to how

he was and when at the end of our date, you unwrapped a Worthers original formate just I'm forming just made me so sure that that's definitely you in there. Grandpa, that's why you get this bathrobe. I'm giving you. Yeah. Welcome back, Grandpa. What? This rolled up copy of National Geographic. This monkey wrench, yeah, I think Barthrob is fine.

And then the new grandpa reality show which is I guess this is somebody who I guess is relatively rich and has lost family members but then can just replace them with reality shows. My grandfather died and we loved him very much, but, you know, he decided to leave us. And so it's time to leave on. Did he die? Yeah, he decided to leave us here.

He decided to leave us. And so it's time to move on. I'm ready. I'm ready to. I opened my heart to a new grandpa. A new grandpa. Yeah, really good. I know. Do all the grandpas know that he's rich? I'm ready to open my heart to a new grandpa. A new grandpa. Yeah, really good.

Do all the grandpas know that he's rich? Like do you think any of the grandpas are competing for his money? You know, there's a possibility. There could be some grandpas who are in it for the wrong reason. I mean, I'm sure there's a lot of the grandpas are there to just increase their Instagram followers. I think these are two separate sketches, Elastair. Yeah, which one?

I think these both deserve to be written down. Which one? The one about the grandpa, Bachelor, the beautiful women re-encore. Why are they out of their movement? Okay, great. Yeah, they're definitely two, you know, ideas. I like the grandpa's keep talking about how they didn't, they didn't come here to make friends, but they also quite unclear why they did come here. Like it's not been really laid out and incentivizing them to do this at any stage. I'm like, yeah, I mean, you know, I kinda keep to myself when I,

a little bit of love, but it is good to get out of the house, you know. I should point out I got a message from Sam. Did you see the message from Sam? Yeah, Sam won't be able to do it. And then Sam won't be able to make it. So Sam Peterson, if you were tuning in and watching along being like, when is Sam Peterson coming on? I'm really sorry, Sam is not gonna be able to make it. So Sam Peterson, if you were tuning in and watching along, being like, when is Sam Peterson coming on? I'm really sorry, Sam is not going to be able to make it

this evening. He was very apologetic. And hello, Sam. And I hope you're good. Oh, no. Somebody's saying I've left a half dozen, at least a dozen ideas on the table. Really?

This is, this is, this is, I'm not against you guys suggesting ideas that we've just steamrolled past. And you're putting, if anyone has anything specific that we've missed out, please pop them in the chat there, and we'll definitely go back and we'll pick up those. Yeah, if we're pretty sure we haven't written them down, we will write them down. Red crumbs. Because we are happy to try and beat the other. Noko Nola Andy, some mysterious BD.

Who is this BD? Bade. I have no idea. I have no idea. Written down, I did. Noko Nola. Under the table. Is this one?

Did I say this? You think Noko Nola is an idea? I didn't feel like Noko Nola was an idea. That was Noko Nola. Is this one? Did I say this? You think no canola is an idea? I didn't feel like no canola was no canola. That was when we were talking about Coca-Cola. What's going to be the next? Yeah. What's going to be the next Coca-Cola? Coke zero, right? Because they had Diet Coke. They had Coke zero. Now they've got Coke zero sugar. It's like no caffeine, no sugar and no cola. Yeah, wow. No canola. What about Coke advertising boasting about the fact that it doesn't contain things

that it probably should have never, that it would never have, anyway? But it's like Coke no lava. And so people, you're looking at it in the shops, but then in your brain, you kind of go like, oh, maybe Cola normally has lava in it. This is better get this one today. Yeah, yeah.

I mean, I think that's the thing that companies do all the time. You know, a one that's like their start marketing one that's like a Coke no fat. I mean, once you start labeling the thing that one thing that it doesn't have, Coke Zero sugar, it actually doesn't contain not just no sugar, it doesn't contain almost everything in the universe. Yeah. Right. In fact, it's only really contains a very few

things. The vast majority of things aren't in Coke. You know what I would go the other direction, is because I think I would go, you know, Coca-Cola, it's done, it's done the no sugar, it's done the diet and things like that. Now we want, people are kind of going back to the full sugar coke and now they want a full fat coke. Yeah. Full fat.

Yeah, you know, like, I mean, this is coke. Yeah. And then they're like, I love you open up the can of coke and it could have that like separated whether it's that layer of fat on top of the glass. Yeah, and then that gives them the option of having full fat Coke homogenized.

And the fat is just in the in the in the Coke mix. I like my Coke full fat, unhomogenized, unpasturized. And then once that gets to a certain tipping point, then you bring it back with skim coke. Mmm, got it. That's right. Yeah. Full fat coke. Full fat coke, a cola. Coca-Cola. Because it's the reaction to fat.

No, not the reaction to woke. It's the reaction to woke. People go on, things are woke now. And people don't know what it means. And so now they need to say, oh, I haven't been drinking full fat coke. That sounds like a real pussy thing to do. Or your little girl who doesn't drink full fat coke. Yeah, what are you worried about?

Your diet princess, That kind of thing. Yeah, yeah, and then that gets annoying and then kind of like the sort of woke people the same way like milk has gone away from like dairy milk Then you've got like nut coke So yeah, soy coke I want to hurt our animals anymore, so that's my new coke made of Yeah, you know almonds or whatever Yeah, and then and so you get that you get yeah, so you get of course you get the out there The almond coke but then that also gives you the option then to go into some kind of animal-based coke

Like I mean, I don't want to say cow-pissed coke to some kind of animal-based Coke. I mean, I don't want to say cow-pissed Coke, but like a horse, like a tough animal, like an elk, like an elk musk. I feel like if we, this doesn't feel right for Coke, but I feel like within a few years, like Monster Energy or something, we'll be right. Yeah.

We got gazelle meat in this one. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We got an energy, have all the energy of a gazelle. Even just like having like a Coke that has, what people don't realize? Like a testosterone or something in it. Yeah, yeah, wow.

Yeah, like a full just elk testosterone energy drink and with the full, you know, like mammal hormone, like that, and you're like, oh yeah, we used to think hormones were bad, and like chicken, people were always talking about that. But now we're like, no, no, that's what keeps you fit and strong, and things like that.

Because like now all the like, all the like, uh, rogans and stuff like that, they're all on testosterone supplements. They're all getting injected every, every week or month or whatever to get a little bit of testosterone boost. And so, now that's the cool thing to hormones. Yeah, I love that you said about the gazelle.

Because what a lot of people don't realize about the gazelle is the thing that allows the gazelle to jump so high is its meat. Yeah. All right, so we've actually taken the meat with all the meat of a gazelle. You could also boil down and dry down and boil down and refine a gazelle. You know, like I have it in an entire... Yeah. ...entire gazelle.

There's a full gazelle in every... ...and that. Yeah. Why all this just every bit? Yeah, I love that. Because I feel like that's the way we The cruel way we butcher animals currently is separating them out in time. That's right. No, it's not how it should be truly get the You know the native American spirit of using every part of the animal. Yeah, you shouldn't even need to separate the Yeah, boil it down into one

Rind it up and then drink that. To go to gazelle syrup. Yeah. And then you can call it like maceye, or something like that name it after one of the African courses. A really good one. Yeah.

Yeah. And then I'm not suggesting we really do this, but yeah, but boil down a whole gazelle into a can. I mean, how are you going be? I'm not suggesting that. I don't suggest we really do this. I'm losing my mind. I can't take it back as soon as I say something like that. I'm not suggesting we really do this.

This is an idea we're talking about. What about this? What about this? Right about this, right? Trazzles for your arms. Yeah. OK. Yeah. Yeah.

So it's a pair of pants. It just goes across the front here, and then down the arms, like jeans. Yeah, and I think especially on women, it acts as also like a boob to be a blue-bubular green jeans. Yeah, it could do. I mean, they probably are all, or pants on your head.

Or a lot. Pants on your head. Yeah, you know how you can put pants on. How do you get it on? Yeah, how do you get it on? How do you get it on? You just put your arms in there, one arm goes in there. So it's like these pants I'm wearing now.

Imagine they were my top. I know it looks a lot like they are already, but like you just put your arms down and inside the pants there Doesn't it see all around the back at all? No, it doesn't see all around the back And you kind of have like your belly exposed like that I like a crop top which you're kind of in now, especially you know to bring You know, but I mean and you might it might look a little bit feminine, but then you'll be drinking a full can of gazelle

It does a lot of heavy lifting it turns the man I mean yeah, so a crop bottom and it's just pants from from here Yeah, it does a lot of heavy lifting in terms of the man A crop bottom and it's just pants from from here. Yeah, that's a really good idea Yeah, you have a crop top as well. Then you've got like bulls to knees Re but you've still got shorts and so so you Your crotchal region. Yeah, you're generally and ask our exposed Yeah, you're belly you're exposed. Yes, but really good

Yeah, chest and shins are covered. Well, maybe you know if you're a man a woman or you know a man You could have your boobs out as well. So it's just like just this section of the legs. Yeah, and maybe the belly like just this section of the legs and maybe the belly are covered and everything else is exposed. It's great. In this part, having like the head of a mammal that's like stuffed but there's room for your junk and then you just strap it around your front like that. I think that'll be, you know, like a badger's head or something. It's like something that would have been popular in like the medieval times.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And so that of works so it would pair so nicely with a crop top and crop bottom. And it'd be great because if you needed a pee, you could open up the mouth of the animal and pee out of that. Yeah, yeah, it just looks like the tongue. Yeah, great. You know how in like World War II,

they would do paintings on the noses of the planes? Like a shark. Like a beautiful lady. Like it's, get them in there or whatever. Yeah. On Earth in the past, people ever did that. We remember they wore cod pieces. There's a big cod piece like that.

I wonder if they ever did little shark. Head of a shark on the top there. Yeah. Yeah, a fish. Wait, I, sorry, I zoned out for a yeah. Yeah, fish. Yeah. Wait, I, sorry, I zoned out for a second. Turtles head. What, what, what is this going on the front? We're painting our quad pieces.

Oh, yeah. Something nice and scary on the end. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I mean, to have, you know, like, even just the head of an arrow, maybe a knife. There. Oh, like a small portrait of your family. You know? Like, you know, and it's just like the tallest, like it's you,

and then your wife, and then your oldest child, and then your smallest child, like that. Like a totem plong. Yeah, the, like that. And, you know, and then it feels like something that people can't, it's too nice to throw away. And so they put it in a museum and then he had a mortalized. Yeah.

You know, beautiful, like a family cod piece, which takes away from the kind of sexually weird bit. That is nice. This is a family, please. This is a family cod piece. Shut up. You know, and yeah, what about like, you know, sometimes you're, you know, you're like, This is a family card piece. Oh, I'm a shop. You know, and yeah, what about like, you know, sometimes you're carrying, you know, a bag.

Yeah. But then you turn your card piece around, so it's hooked up so that you can just hook your bag on your card. This would be really good for like when you're walking around a elder or something, and the elder trolley, so they don't have that hook on the back that you can hook your bags onto.

Be great if you could hook it onto your... I mean, I think to bring back the functional card piece. Sure. Upward turn card. If you're buying clothes at maybe like an upsharp or something like that, you go into the changing area

and often there's no hooks to like hook on the clothes that you're changing from, that on the card. Yeah, I mean, it hook on the clothes you're changing from. That on the card. Yeah, it doesn't work if you're changing pants or something like that I suppose because if you go take it off. Yeah, shirts and jacket, absolutely. We're in the gravy here. Anyway, then the card pieces got to come off in a way, surely.

Yeah, indeed, indeed. But what I'm saying is you can hang anything on it. Yeah. So we haven't solved any problems, but then indeed we haven't made anything worse. Yeah. So I don't think people- What about it?

Oh, well, I haven't solved all the problems. I'm sorry. Well, excuse me, what about the problem of, hey, you're paired? Look, mate, it's one fucking thing at a time. All right, we can't, this is the problem with the left, okay? We've got to focus, we've got to look at ticking off some big things and we can't let ourselves get distracted from the fact that like overall progress is still good. Not, you know.

But what if your cod piece wasn't on your pants? What if it was like separate, you know, you wear it like this and maybe you hold it up with your dick. Like you put your dick inside. Hmm. Hmm. Yeah. Absolutely. No, it's nothing. Can I put your dick inside anyway?

Maybe I'm not sure what a cod piece is. Yeah, I mean, I think, I mean, it looks like it could fit a dick. Yeah. But I assume that it's just like, it's solid. I don't think it does have it in there most of the time. Yeah. But it kind of acts like it almost looks like it's protecting your dick with like hard That's what I kind of thought it was yeah, yeah, I mean it could be I'm not saying it's not but it feels like it's something You would then have to thumb your dick into

I mean depending on how wide the the spaces in there. I just say I've never seen them that big, you know or anything like that If you were going into battle maybe you just had sort of seven or eight cod pieces on and just sort of throws off the enemy of like, where's this guy's dick even on his board? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, it's really good. Having a series of decoy dicks, all of you, everybody say, if somebody tries to, I wasn't listening for a while, but like if somebody tries to kick you in the dick,

they don't know which dick to kick. Like this is like Saddam Hussein with his body doubles, but it's you with Dix Everywhere. But could you just have real, like, Dix Everywhere. Dix Everywhere. Dix Everywhere. All over your body.

But I mean, no, what to kick? What, you're telling me that's not a good idea? Wait, wait. But I mean, you can have like also as well as the calm pieces. If for some reason they pants you, they're like, I can't figure out which dick is this guy's dick. I don't know which one, the laugh at. Yeah, you have, you have like, oh, sure, they were laughing at

a dick in my pants. Yeah. But the one they were pointing at, that wasn't my dick in my pants. Yeah. So I can feel fine. So you could have like, but like, the thing is, is that they're always going to know which one is yours. It is what, unless you go to the length to get surgery to move your dick to an unexpected location. And it really is like you're in the hall of mirrors. You don't know which one's really James Bond to shoot at.

I think you need to put a false crotch in there. So you need a full false crotch so that your dick can still be inside the crotch and are extra protected. And then you have maybe two fake dick. So it looks like you're just trying to hide one of your chicks. Drop crotch like that. I think this is a really good idea. I think, I'm sorry that I pushed so hard that people don't know which one to kick.

I think the people don't know which one to point at and laugh is funny. It's not that funny yet. And I think the fact that you can go away with your ego unscathed is to dig in your pants that we're laughing at isn't your real dick? It's really. Because the card pieces, and then when they tacked you,

the whole of the dicks that they saw, they were not really yours. Because he's really the card pieces and then when they take you all the things We're not really yours Is like a real way the jokes on them the jokes on them Yeah, you're strutting away Bear ass It's not to get us come out on top. Yeah, once again Top dog I remain top dog I mean the you know the rightable hippo

Rightable hippo. I mean, you know, I'm not saying it's like yeah, but you know, I'm sure beautiful As semi submersible kind of yeah, and And you could, you probably would say like, maybe nobody's ever ridden a hippo. I wonder. You know. But the idea that one person raised a hippo, you know, from hand, you know, hand fed him watermelons or whatever they do, right?

And then he raised it to be a rideable hippo. Yeah. Like that. And then, you know, he's got a hippo saddle. And I- Do you think we'd make him king? And like if somebody rode into town on the back of a hippo? He's wearing a scuba.

Like, he's not a scuba, but like a snorkel. Yeah, snorkel. Which, you know, obviously he's a tough guy. He's got a real big tough animal. Body's wearing a snorkel. He emerged and swam. He's got that thing from when you're wearing a swim and mask, like a, you know, scuba mask or whatever, and your lip kind of goes like this.

And so, and you got the scoo in your ass like just, and the talk because you're always ready to get into the water because you got in the hippo. And everybody who sees him come out, all these people are gathered together at the beach or the, you know, the river bank or whatever, just by coincidence, they're all there having picnics. He comes out of the water and as one, they all turn to each other and they say, let's make him king. Yeah, they think. Man, let's make him king.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, I thought you would, you would just rob them for petty cash. I say, look, we gotta make you king. And he says, give me 20 bucks. Just give me 20 bucks. Yeah. I don't want your accolades. Yeah, the hippo bandit.

Yeah. A small change in this. You're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're Like what? I'll get it when it comes out the other side Through the hip ocean You see in the hip when hip oh because they do that thing with their tail Oh shit, yeah, and then he has to like spin through the water Covered in silt and stuff like that the salt with that liquid hip oh shit I'm hurting silt and stuff like that. The salt got that liquid hippo. Yeah. I got that very confident attitude about it.

Like still like, oh, a beautiful hole this week. Look at this. Shiny penny. Look at how this is. Shiny penny. My kisses. Yeah. He says, look at this girl.

Well, you did good. He slaps the hippo. The hippo. Yeah, I wasn't sure you'll say the girlfriend Trying to pick up with a girl on the beach while he's rubbing everybody and he's standing next to the hippos as well Everybody any standing next to the hippos ass ball The hippos shitting with the tail fan He's like, by the way, you ladies are into what I'm doing. Yeah, you're cool I'm always looking for a princess

You want to be queen of the hippos He's got his hand as well behind all the shit because so that he can catch any coins. He's like, oh, girls, wanna? Uh-huh. See, like a man with a good job, and I've got the best job there is to rob and people with my hippo and grabbing coins out of it.

Anybody got any watermelons for my? I use all the coins to buy watermelons. I come out almost. I put the buddy back straight back into the business. That's how you grow. That's how you grow a hippo. I'm in a growth phase. That's their every money, every dollar back into the hippo.

And that's not even including the dollars. They get lost in the hippos and test out. What's this guys voice? Is there a bit of a pirate? I don't know, yeah I'm just I'm trying to keep it pretty vague. Yeah okay that's good you don't want to be pinned down. Yeah I think that he was probably from Europe and then he got lost in Africa. Let's figure out this man's backstory. I think he was a maybe a British man who as a younger man did a Kanteke tour somewhere.

Sure. So he was maybe in Egypt and then the tour moved on and he kind of just wandered south and got more and more lost in the jungles of Africa. And then Fount, did you find an orphan hippo? Yeah, I guess that's, he found an orphan hippo. Many ways we saved each other. And you know, the hippo was of course eating a bunch of discarded hamburger meat. And I ate it as well. And that's how we become fast friends. Fast friends. Yeah. You sing, Bolt.

And let's see. Fast. Gandhi? Yeah, I was trying to think of a, yeah. Yeah. What it does fast? That's stupid. That's stupid right there.

I don't think you write down fast friends, unless you really want to go all the way into making it like a full-on odd couple-style sitcom. Yeah. Called Fast Friends, and it is, are you, are you willing to write this down? Gandhi and Usain Bolt living in a sharehouse together. I told you I'd come back around to making famous people

shit in a sharehouse. Yeah, I mean, I'm willing to write that down at this stage. Wow. OK. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, sure. I mean, fast friends, beautiful title, right? We know, I think they would be really interesting conflicting personalities.

One is an athlete of the mind and the other of the body. It's just that right what they normally call an athlete. Yeah. Yeah. Are you an athlete of the body? No. What about this? What about of the mind? Oh, but what about a athlete of the body?

A athlete of the body. Yeah. OK. I mean, I don't know. I mean, that's like a horse counting the question thing. It's kind of like when they have, like, it's just a pet peeve of mine, but like any sporting thing involves any element of decision making.

It's a chess match. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it's like, well, no, chess is infinitely more complex than this. It's just what you're talking about, is they have the option to do one thing or another. And then your opponent has to respond to that. As far as you've looked into it. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And the way the first things is like the great art and the music. Yeah, I don't know. How could an athlete be a math lead, a physical math lead? Well, I mean, our problem here is that like, Mathletics.

Nobody calls athletes physical athletes. No, but mathematics. Yeah, yeah, no, I get it. But like, you're trying to then say a physical mathlete. But like physical athletes isn't a thing. And people don't call mathletes mental athletes. I don't see any of these as boundaries. No, okay, great.

I just see them as problems to be solved. Or you don't even see them as problems. I mean, we're not going to do this for real. We're not going to do this for real. We're not going to do this for real. This is just an idea. Yeah, yeah. It's an idea. OK, mathlete of the body.

All right, let's see. OK, what about this, then, Alistair? Well, there are mathlete of the body. This, somebody says, add six and four and four together. That's the challenge. This is them. They're a math lead of the body. They rip off four fingers from one hand.

Sounds like they're subtracting. They stick them onto the other hand. They've added, they take off the thumb off here. Yeah. They put that over there. That's the remainder. Yeah. Okay.

Then a remainder in addition. Yeah, that's right. Well, a terrible math leap. Well, but you just wait. Now they've got four, two lots of fours. They've got eight fingers on this hand. They've added four and four together of the body, mathematics, except the body.

Is that what you want? Is that what you're hoping for? I guess it's pretty good. It's not a secret. You want me to, okay, I won't write it down. No, I don't want you to write it down. When you, not like this. When you started talking about a physical math leak,

what I was going to say at that point was different angle on that was the mind Olympics. Yeah, I care. It's kind of like, in the way they have the summer and winter Olympics, the Olympics that just caters to mental athletes. Sure, and so these are people who can do with different events. Yeah.

You know, people who can, you know, remember a full piece of music. Yeah, and that the exact... Brain is strobing right now. Yeah, remember, like, you know, they can recount a piece of music at the exact pace that's originally played in some recording, and then you can stop the band any point and say, what bit are you up to, like that? And then they know. And then they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they,

that's the favorite thing about music is knowing what bit you're up to. Isn't that great? But like, I mean then okay well I understand that that's a metric by which you can judge whether or not they're successful at this particular task. But the idea of having this incredible skill and the thing that you're asked to use it for is to know which bit of a song you're up to. There's not you know like that would be like if the way that you enjoyed the song Bohemian Rhapsody was by looking at the amount of time that it elapsed in the

song Bohemian Rhapsody. Yeah. All right. Anyway. Is there any comedy in that? I don't know. I didn't quite understand. But it sounds like you're just looking at the number. I'm out of time. Yeah. Um. Metronomes. Sure. Keeping the beat. We are slowing down and we knew it was going to happen. Yeah. So you've kept your hand up like this and I keep I don't want to jump in or anything. No, no, no. You seem mid thought., no, I'm not I was just already in the thought and then I think there's well, it's okay, but I think instead of just saying no to ideas. We have to add to it Yeah, of course, it's okay. Of course, and I apologize No, I didn't mean to it didn't mean to be like that. No, it's all good. We're just trying to find it sometimes

That's the way that I try and I try and move forward. I'm not in any way upset. Yeah, I understand what we're doing. Because I know, I know. Yeah, yeah. I know. Well, instead of like a, instead of a math lead, like a, it's not math, but it's like, like literature or like English or, you know, like another kind of subject of the mind brought into the physical realm. Or brought into the realm of maths.

Yeah. Right. So you've got literature, right? But what about this? The maths version of literature. Yeah. Mathletrature. Mathletrature.

Mathematrature. I feel like we're into a realm of comedy writing. Mathletrich, Mathletricher, Mathematrichter. We're into a realm of comedy writing, but it's so abstract. I'm struggling to follow what it is, and I haven't been doing this for like 10 hours away. Yeah, yeah. All right, let's just go back to your post.

All right, what about this? A simple place. It's just, let's see, instead of, just let's see instead of when you when you get married right instead of exchanging rings you just have one ring that you both put your fingers in it's a long it's more of a tube this is going back to a great tube ideas we were having earlier odd you both put your fingers into the same tube and you are joined together and this time it's not a metaphor. What is this? It's a long tube it's like a bit of pipe. You put it in the

tube. No you put it in the opposite ends and you're being joined together in a finger trap situation. What's this you and your love? You and your beloved. But wait just one tube we're all five two you and your love. You and your beloved. Wait, just one tube or five two. Oh, that'll five. Like this. That'll be crazy. And then all your toes. No. You're walk to the side. I'm serious. And then do you stay like that? Maybe you get a tube that goes from your head to the other person's head. Okay. It would be really nice to have a tube that goes from your mouth straight into the tube. Oh, so that every time you breathe out, fills out, fills up their lungs. That's the only person, goes into the ear because they are the only person You're both the only person that you need to talk to or listen to from now on. Yeah, right?

They all get it. It's not entirely true. No, it's not no, but it could be. I mean look my my original idea was just that the ring is just a tube That connects you together. You both put your fingers into different ends of the tube. And that way, we don't have to fuck around with all the metaphorical stuff of the bones. But what is it? Joining you. You're putting your fingers into a tube. You both put your fingers into a tube. Yeah, I know, but a metal tube.

Is this your wedding? What is this? You're getting married. You're getting married. Yeah. You're putting it instead of changing rings. You just put your fingers into the edge. Yeah, I know.

I get it, Andy. You said it. Heaps. But then what happens? Oh, right. Yeah. You know, people go to Vegas to get married really quickly. Yeah. It's like a different laws or whatever.

They get the Elves doing the wedding thing. That's kind of like, enough fucking around. It's just a lobe. Get it done, bag it. Even more efficient wedding than that, where it's just called wife tube Yeah, just like a Like a laundromat kind of on the side 24 hours a day and you just walk into wife tube Yeah, I'm imagining it's a machine where you put in a quarter

Hmm, and I guess you and your partner can get in the tube and it Shutes you back to your house or you just both are in the tube now. Maybe there's just like there's a witness that you go past like this and then that is enough and then by the end you just once you come out of the tube you just sign something and you're both married. Well yeah it feels like you should like it should be a process that you can completely automate and it could be a vending machine that marries you, right? It doesn't need to be any people involved as celebrant or anything. I think there needs to be a witness of some sort. Well, okay, because that could be like one of the things that you can have security like. And that sort of thing could that be done by a computer and you just got to like, it just got to recognize your face.

Yeah. Yeah. I think so. Like one of those, um, yeah, yeah. You know, you go to like a 7-Eleven very late at night Mm-hmm, and it's like you don't even it's in a dangerous area and you can't even go in yeah Just like a window and they're like yeah, what do you want? It's like that kind of there's just some 24 hour. Oh like just like a slot like this and the guy

It's a little slow can I take you both put your hands on it puts your rings on exactly? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah Does he even need to see your face or do you just both need to put your hands in there? And that's all he needs. He doesn't see your face just puts a ring on each one. Yeah. Yeah, it was all on him. Like, he's not looking.

They don't pay me enough to see your face. He's looking at his phone with his other hand. It's just like this. Like that puts a ring on each and you're mad. And what's this, this drive through? Mm. Yeah, I think it could be. Good to go. Like, one's leaning over. One's leaning over and you're I think it could be. Like one's leaning over. Yeah. One's leaning over

and you're just doing it like this and you just put the thing in and you just keep going. Hmm. I mean, right. Right. Barrage, barrage drops through. Through. Yeah. Yeah. This is an idea I previously had, but maybe it'll spark something and just go in somewhere. It's like a romantic dentist, and what the romantic dentist will do, he'll take out half your teeth and put them in your partner's mouth, and take out half of their teeth.

Wow. And then your mouth. Yeah, sure. Then it's like you go in for a kiss, you're kissing half your own teeth. Yeah, great. And so much is the bonds that you share. And your tongue would be so excited to be reunited with the teeth that it's so familiar.

Yeah, but it's growing up with them as well. And being like, whoa. But also being reunited with a bully who's bitten you so many times. Yeah, that's true. It would be nice to actually probably have a bit of space from some of those teeth. And of course, you're a lot of trouble in the past.

Frontwards, you bite yourself with the front teeth? I think it can happen, yeah. All right. Remember, you also always bite the sides. I think it's the side for me. I'm a side-biter. I kind of occasionally do it. Yeah. Um, yeah, I mean...

Do you think that's part of the appeal of kissing? Yeah. So that it's such a trusted thing to put your tongue into somebody's mind. That's part of the desperate to find new teeth to experience Yeah, well from your tongue's point of view to give you tongue new landscapes and things Yeah, the tongue's probably a lot like a cat So, you know it just it thrives in regular you know in like a regular environment But then occasionally it doesn't mind to go hunt

Or you know others of its kind and so like to let it's like letting your cat meet another cat Yeah, sometimes it goes well, but sometimes it goes bad The only time we let the tongue out of the mouth is when we let it into somebody else's mouth Hmm, we're like well, I'm not gonna really trust you outdoors I'm gonna go out of the mouth You it's okay. You're allowed to go out but you're only get you're gonna have to go and stay over it another mouth Yeah, what was this idea at the beginning? Because I mean I like air all this like that you the tongue is a lot like a cat

But is this I mean it just feels like a a guy Doing a documentary on the tongue on the tongue tongue. And talking about how they're, you know, they're, of course, they like to do a bit of exploration, but they feel that they're, you know. Yeah, I mean, you know, like, like as a thing that you can describe, it feels like a little bit of stand up.

Yeah. Maybe, you know, like nice, relatable, straight down the middle of the line, tongue-based, to stand up. That would kill anywhere. Yes. Climb on Earth. Everybody's got a tongue.

Yeah. Everybody. Hey, baby. Everybody's got a tongue. Yes, nice relatable stuff. Oh, where do you get your ideas? Just stuff that pops into my head. You know what else pops into my head?

Tungs. Other people's tongues. It that pops into my head. You know what else pops into my head? Tungs. Other people's tongues. Tungs. I just popped into my head. I got my ideas the same way I get my French kisses. Yeah. Just pops into my head. Yeah, good.

That's such a funny way to ask for a kiss. Are you French kissing your grandpa? Have you popped that tongue into my head? No. About that. Hey, baby. Ooh, that's a sweet-looking tongue. I wouldn't mind if I popped into my head. About that. Hey, baby. Ooh, that's a sweet-looking tongue. I wouldn't mind if I popped into my head.

Any way. I'm going to my place sometime. Hey, tongue. I'm going to my place sometime. I'm going to my place sometime. Hey, tongue. I'm going to my place sometime. I'm going to my place sometime.

Hey, tongue. I'm going to my place sometime. I'm going to my place sometime. I'm going to my place sometime. Hey, tongue. I'm going to my place sometime. I'm going to my place sometime. Hey, tongue. I'm going to my place sometime. Hey my mind. I'm like, does the tongue go past the teeth in the other person's mouth?

It's just your tongue go into the mouth hole? I mean, I think if it is not what happens? If at any point it passes the teeth. Is that what kissing is? I mean, not really. There's mostly, it's mostly lips. Yeah. And then once you breach the lip barrier,

you are technically in the head. You're in the head, right? But it's not closed. It's not really closed and he doesn't stay in there. Yeah. You know, there might be a moment where somebody's holding your lip in their mouth or something like that. But yeah, so like, but that's really them welcoming it in like it's a yeah, it's a vampire or something like that. Yeah. know? But the tongue, yeah, your tongue's not going that far, past the stage. I mean, because you're not, you can't really extend it that far.

Yeah, into enemy territory. They're not going like, ah, like you're not reaching for anything. It's mostly, you're like, it's like touching. Sure, it's, it's frolicking on the doorstep. It's the closest thing to running through a field Hand in hand with a person. Yes, that you do at all ever by standing still But even like because the frolicing like this you don't even really tend to do this with anybody

Mm-hmm bought with your tongue you go and meet you touched like that. It's like to it's like two different civilizations and countering each other and going like Look at you Like that it's like every time it's like a first contact Yeah, but then because like because if you go too hard they also retreat like this and go oh there's an aggressive species like that You got them all barreled up in a corner there. They curled up in the corner, the tongues like all the way back up against the, the, the uvula or whatever, like, oh, it's things trying to attack me. Yeah, so, um, you know, I mean, you know, it'd be, I'm just going to write a ton of, like, first time to do some analysis of this and see how far what's the furthest of tongues ever been into like that uncharted territory?

Yeah, unknown lands. If it was like a documentary where you had like the person who's like on the furthest into space and the deepest into the Marianas. They're all these things which explore us. It's really good. You're also talking to the person who's had their tongue like the furthest into someone else's head. Yeah. There comes.

And it's a Russian guy. In a situation where like you can't send the tongue all the way in at once. You've got to send it sort of a certain distance in establish a base camp, leave some supplies, go back again, come back the next day. It's like the space race. You gotta send the monkeys tongue in.

Yeah, I'll say it again. See if they can survive. But is it, you know, there's not like a thing where someone's just, they're like, well, actually the only way that you can get it any deeper now is to just take a tongue and then just put it in with your mouth. Wow, put it in with your hand. With your hand or like, you know, on the end of some tweezers or something,

you have to take the tongue off. To find out what. Put it in, then quickly get the tongue back and reattach it. Because you want to keep the tongue alive. Yeah, all you have to do is get it. And bring it back safe. Yeah. You're like the John F. Kennedy of tongues.

Yeah. Right? Okay, traveling to the deepest. Wow. Yeah, okay. No, but it is like- Where are you going to put the tongue? Where did the John F. Kennedy of kissing say that within the decade he would put the tongue

and do the other thing and bring it back? That's what- it's the other thing again. Yeah. It's the deepest. Jack had a great bit about John F. Kennedy saying he got to put a man on the moon and do the other thing. Talked about it on this podcast. It was just the thing I said on the show.

Yeah, it was a bit. It was a great bit. It was one of his famous stand-up routines. He was to go to the moon and do the other. Someone in NASA was like, what is that? No, no, no, no. What are we so up for? It's nearly an open-ended.

Barely figured out how to get to the moon. Oh, I don't know if we have. Up for it's very open-ended. Barely figured out how to get to the moon. Oh, I don't know if we have. Some other thing. I mean, it feels like he had something else on his mind about like, I gotta get milk or whatever it is. It's just like, there's something else. Do the other thing. We're gonna do that.

Do the other thing. Get it back safely. Get it back safely. Yeah, reentry. Yeah, like, like, was it called like, so? Get it back safely. Get it back safely. Yeah, reentry. Yeah, like, like, was it cold like, silver it? I guess the face of God. I feel bad for the person who's receiving this tongue.

Yeah. Yeah, but that's science. I mean, I feel like in a way that it needs to be a famous person who's receiving a tongue. Sure, like the president himself. I guess that's one of the ways in which he could do public service. Yeah. Yeah. Allow a tongue to go deeper into his mouth than a tongue has ever been before.

Yeah, but you know, people do eat tongue. Yeah. But it's not like a cow's tongue. It's got to be and I don't and I think the thing is bringing it back Siphon. Oh, yeah, that's right and bring it back safely. Yeah, so you could Technically swallow a tongue get it all the way down to the stomach sure Maybe that's it and then pull it back up and hopefully like the string that's tied around the base or whatever Doesn't like slip up like that. And then it gets dropped in there and they go, no, you need to send another tongue to rest you. Like that. And then the tongue and they go and they intertune like that.

That was a hard one, tongue sketch idea. That was a hard one's tongue sketch idea. Sixteen. Wait. Three, eight plus sixteen. Yeah, that's what you call it. Oh, yeah, sketch cake is correct. You always give a f... Tung's when you hear the...

What's tungsten? I've never... I've never what's happened to me. I always hear tungsten. I don't even really know what tungsten is, but it makes me think of tungs. We were talking about tungsten, just the other day, Alistair. Mm-hmm.

Because we're writing trivia questions. So it's like, tungsten is also known as, we are. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And so, yeah, I always think of somebody talking about tungsten carbide. Is that from like a... tungsten carbide, tungsten carbide, drills.

What? Yeah, so it's from a long time. I think it might be a monopathy sketch, yeah. I think he has an eaten a single egg in this hole. I'm really sorry. Yeah, because I, people, somebody found somewhere in one of the old episodes that Andy said he would eat 20 more eggs. 24 boiled eggs during the 400th episode.

Uh, I've been boiling eggs recently. I haven't had eggs. Yeah, I've been, and then I've been making soy eggs by putting them in and immersing them in soy and vinegar and it's a bit of sugar in there. Do they keep well in there? Do you leave them in there for a while? I haven't been leaving them for more than a day. But then you can use the kind of the marinade stuff again.

But usually you should take them out after six hours. Okay. I just let them ride. Yeah, baby. I'm feeling lucky. Yeah. Yeah. What? So what? It's a salty egg. That's what I'm here for. Okay. So what is that? What is that? That is like, you're going to some sort of a restaurant, right? You're getting something I was, I want to say deep fried. It's a thing. But then you're saying like put it back in you get it out. It's perfect. It's perfectly deep fried. You're like

Put it all back in. I mean what about this like it's a it's a chicken marinade Maybe you're right. Maybe you're right. The deep fried is better But like it's a chicken marinade and it says like you got a marinade from two to six hours But that after two hours you get it out and he goes, not bad, but put it back in. And after six hours, you're like, yeah, that's pretty good. But put it back in. Like, it goes in, it's like 10 hours.

And you're like, you know, like, achieve chef. Should we cook it now? And he's like, put it back in. We're never cooking this. Like that. And he's just going to marinate it just and he's like, put it back in. We're never cooking this. Like that. And he's just gonna marinate it and just until it's ready. Like that. I don't know how can you,

it's like, it's like, you know, what's that Japanese sauce? Teriyaki, you're gonna teriyaki it until it is just edible. Like, I mean, then that is almost a thing that people do, the thing of like, like cooking something in vinegar or whatever, you know, they sort of pickling kind of...

It doesn't cook it in anyone. Okay, right, it's just all marid-y. It's just, it's like, there's enough flavor to cover the salmonella. Wow, there's so much flavor in there that it actually kills the bacteria. I don't know if that's true. The salmonella, Nella, they can't handle this much flavor in here that it actually kills the bacteria. I don't know if that's true. Salmonella, Nella, they can't handle this much flavor. I mean, that's great. The flavor's so...

No, no, no, Salmonella can't handle this much flavor. No. But we can't serve this to the public. We're putting this in their food without them even knowing. We're putting this in their drinks. We're putting this in their food without them even knowing. We're putting this in their drinks. We're putting this in their... Or it's not for the public. Okay, and just for that. Just for him.

For professionals. Yeah, right. Frained their minds to raw food with such incredible flavor. Is there enough in... Is there... ...facteria can't handle this amount of flavor? I don't know. I mean, part of me believes that that would be a true phenomenon.

Yeah. Because I know that that's the case for like sugar and salt. If you put enough of that onto things, it can preserve it. It will kill the bacteria. They can't live in that environment. But to me, sugar and salt, those are just flavors. And so I feel like that should apply to every flavor. Yeah, yeah.

You know, if you put enough chili on something, if you put enough garlic and soy sauce, I mean, soy sauce is probably quite salty, so like that. Yeah, I think there's a part of me that's like, it's like, you try to make it so good that it doesn't matter that it doesn't kill the bacteria. Is that the experience is better than getting sick? Yeah, the experience is better than being healthy.

The taste of this food is better than not having diarrhea. You know, yeah, and then maybe- Take to bring us back to diarrhea. Oh, that's okay. But I think that's the bar. You're like, this tastes so good, you'll forget you have diarrhea. You won't care. Yeah. Like, like, that getting, yeah, getting sick, that's just part of the ride. You won't notice. Yeah. That flavor is going to stay with you,

men, that it's got a long finish. Like, he's like, well, if you keep it in for long enough, if you've for enough time, it gets a really long finish and I'm talking long. And this flavor, this will carry you through the food poisoning period. Right, you'll be on this. Okay, I think we've- We may not be quite on the same page here, Alice. No, I like the idea of like a Michelin star restaurant. Hmm.

That prides itself on the fact that you will have diarrhea. Yeah, great. That's how the food is. You won't mind. You won't mind like... The reviewers came, they ate the food. They got diarrhea. They gave us another Michelin star.

Yeah. It's like... It's a sixth Michelin star that's only for diarrhea. They only give that out for good diarrhea. Well, it's like playing golf on a handicap or something, right? Or like running the Melbourne Cup with your horse having to carry all these weights. OK, if your food makes people sick,

but you're still consistently getting these like more and more accolades, I think that's an incredible achievement. Yeah, I think. Well, like so Chris Rock does a thing where when he's testing out material, he doesn't put any energy into the performance at all. Wow, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very,

very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, So the end of the mic just does it. So it just wants to test if the idea is funny. And then when it takes it on the road, then he's really doing the whole Chris Rock like, what is this thing? Where this is kind of like a renegade chef was like, we're not gonna cook the meat. Sorry, people will get sick. But if they still like the meal enough, I know.

And it's not cooked. Yeah, I'd say you know it's a good meal. That's really good. If it's all your meals cooking. This is a chef on That's how you know it's a good meal. That's really good. If it's all your meals, this is a chef on, some sort of motivational thing or a master class, or something, who's like, if you have to cook your food to make it enjoyable, you're not a good chef.

Cooking is a crutch. It should be, the food should be transcendent before I put it in the oven. Sure, yeah, yeah, it's um. If it's not transcendent at that point, I don't know why, you might have a lot of other- You think even any further details makes it too, it's like too questionable.

You just go, what is he doing to his food? Yeah. Um... Well... Ballissimo. A banker. Yes. It's so good as his job. Mm-hmm, okay.

Yeah. Bank Teller, or Bank Manager. Um... I mean, I love... Yeah, bank teller or bank manager. I mean, I love, you know, I'm a big fan of the, the folks on John Henry. Yeah. John Henry, when he was a baby, sitting on a daddy's knee, he picked up a hammer and a little piece of steel and said, daddy, this hammer's going to be the death of me. Oh, Lord. Right. And then the captain brings out the steam drill out on the track.

Yeah. Right. And the steam, steam drill out on the track, right, and the steam drill and John Henry, before they have a steel driving battle. I want that, but for like an automatic tele machine and a regular human bank teller. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's not, it probably doesn't have the same kind of drama, does it? There's been like a John Henry type story where it's just

You know to someone who's kind of like a middle manager at an office going against like chat GPT Yeah, I mean I do they write copy till they die I mean, I like the idea of an artist who thinks that he can out paint Yeah, you know one of those things. And he's not talking about quality, but he is also talking about quality. But what he's talking about is speed. He's talking about the number of square feet of painting

that he's capable of doing. So, girl, done. No. No. Yeah. I mean, but also, it's like- I mean, it's a small dumb joke about a guy who's overconfident and his ability that- Yeah, maybe. I mean, I think also if he's risked, like, is it

possible that the idea of responding to prompts, right? Is, you know, because I can imagine the person, the kind of person who might be able to do this would be someone like Jason Chattfield, right? Who, you can give him, he's so fast at doing cartoons, right, and caricatures, and that's something that's funny guy, you can give him a prompt for whatever, this is like sort of what happened

with that drawing standup shown that he was doing this cartoon before. But that, he going up up against one of those mind, what are those AI's that generate pictures based on the prompts, and seeing who can come up with the best interpretation of something like that, some surreal. Yeah, well, the best interpretation thing. So I guess in my mind, for me,

the humor was just that they're actually way faster than you. Yeah, okay. I think the quality of the stuff is harder to judge in a comedy sense. Obviously, I'm sure, I'm sure, in a comedy sense. But, but the idea that, you know, again, if he is much slower and he's just done a picture of a turd or something like that with stink lines.

Yeah. I guess in the end, it's short, it's stupid, it's not great, but it's being decimated by a machine. Yeah, sure. And still somehow I feel like having a... Can he's a name-y? John Onree. Yeah.

Yeah, great. Because I think giving him a French last name makes him sound like an artist. Yeah. John Onree, Matisse. And did you say the start of... Because I only know really the idea of the John Henry thing. I don't know the actual song or something or whatever. Yeah, sure.

Did you say the first bit is John Henry as a baby? Yeah, when he was a baby. For shadowing that the hammer would be the death of... Yeah, that's right, yeah, sitting on his daddy. Yeah, that is me. That's a full on thing for a little baby to say. Yeah, I will die by the hammer. Yeah, I'm gonna...

Which I guess, dying by working yourself to death, to eating a steam machine is best case scenario dying by the hammer, I would say. Sure, I mean, worst case scenario, you keep somebody bashing your brains out, whether? If I think of dying by the hammer, that's what I, my first thought isn't being so good at hammering that I die of fatigue.

Yeah. Yeah. Oh, fatigue. Is it fatigue? Fatigue way. You know they call army, army costumes, army clothes, fatigues. Yeah. What's that about? Yeah, they always have weird, what's the other... Lofty? What are they called? What do they call, like, what's the other... Lofty? What do they call, like just even like the toilets? Yeah, the trains.

Yeah, they got the trains and there's another... Yeah, the dining hall is called the mess. Yeah, the army loves wacky woods for stuff. Yeah, they got their whole own vocab. Yeah. What's the toilet thing? Although it was another word, I can't remember what they used in the, you know, the, I don't have access to words, names of things.

Suspit. Yeah. The head is what they call it in chips. They call it the head. That's what they call it in that as well. Maybe and they call that in a submarine as well. Yeah. You know, what about like a, you know, is there a pause,

you know, that thing in that movie where they all, all the army soldiers put like, you know, soap in a sock or whatever like that. And they come up and they smash one of the soldiers at nighttime, you know, and hit him while he's laying in bed. Yeah, like, uh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh You know? Like it's like a reverse hazing. You don't tell them. Really aggressive kind of intervention. Yeah, you make his life better. You're...

Time to welcome this guy to the army. Show him how we do things here in the army. Yeah. But it's really nice. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I find that putting the soap into a sock thing. Like, that's interesting.

Like, I wouldn't, I would never have thought of that. Yeah, it's just a little supposed to be a little bit of weight, but also not something that will absolutely deser me. Right. You know? I mean, I guess it's a really good idea then. I mean, it does that job. The thing is, you couldn't do that now

because everything's liquid soaps. Yeah, I bet you the Army still has some hard soaps. It's another... The next, like, few weeks few weeks of like washing in the shower would everyone just have to share this one like bowling ball sized mesh of soaps that have all been oh together through sock beatings. Yeah, and now they're all that that's what makes them sort of slightly regret it. They like they realize.

But it also watch the unit a stronger bond because we're all washing with the same conglomerate of soap. Yeah, that's nice. What if they have like a big sort of soap, soap column or something that they all rub up against? Sort of almost like a itchy bear. Yeah, exactly. Like a... That'd be good.

I mean, if like, you know, what you could do, I guess, as a, you know, a great thing like this, if all the soap is kind of clumping together, if you did shape it into a bear, right? And you're kind of in one of those big rooms with lots of showers like that. And then you each take turns wrestling the soap bear, like that. And you just like, oh, I like that.

And you're getting all over it like that. And then you're like, yeah, you'll bring it down a little bit like that, things like that. And then you're like, and then you're getting it all through your hair and things like getting in your eyes. It would be nice if it could be a soap bear. Like that's a really great idea. And I think you could absolutely write that down right now. I'm not saying it needs any improvement. But what I am saying is that like what if they could also be part of Army culture is that they take it in turns to be the soap bear. So they get into this big costume.

Either it's lavled it up with all this soapy kind of muck or it's covered in bars of soap. And they add the soap bear. And then they go around, they wrestle each other. Oh, that's good. It's soaping out. I mean, if you get two guys like that and essentially they're just, they're wearing a bear suit, see that's good. Yeah. It's soping out. I mean, if you get two guys like that, and essentially they're just, they're wearing a bear suit, but it's essentially a lufa. Yeah.

Right. And this is a place that doesn't have, doesn't have a bar suit. A giant living lufa. Exactly. And so then, I mean, why not just get a real bear? Why not? Right. So how about this?

Yeah. Okay, you get a bear, you get it in its cage, you're right, you cover it in water, and then you cover it in body wash. Yeah. Right? And then all the soldiers are waiting there in the shower. And then you open the kids. Yeah, you actually, you love all the boys and stuff. But there's still a bit of rough until now.

Oh, you used to be one of those, it used to be mistreated in the circus, and now this is its biggest dream. It's well treated, it's cleaner than any bears ever been. This is the problem. They find it hard to convince the army guys to have good proper showers. They found out that they weren't getting clean.

This is turns out, this is actually the way you can get the cleanest army. You should see this army. They're so clean. I can get your army, that clean. Well, the secret is... I wish I could tell you. I wish I could tell you, but it would destroy morale, and that's why we do this the way that Releases the soapy bear. Imagine you go in the army and they clean you by, you got to do nude wrestling with a

soap bear in the palace. You're just like, you know, this is life in the armed forces, I guess, what are you going to do? And then you, you know, you do your duty and you get back home. And then you're talking to another veteran, you try to relate about your trip. And how about that suit there? So it's really good. Like what? But then like, but then like, there's that situation where like the grand pit,

grandkids are like, yeah, grandpa doesn't like to talk about what he did during the war You see grandpa over there staring out the window and then we see what grandpa's imagining it's just him and the so fair He can't tell anybody. Yeah, Tim riding a tiny bicycle next to the soap bear like this in his dreams And they're just like clinging over a hill into the sunset like that both the bear stole foamy with so I mean they like clinting off the yeah, he's got a like a little little like you know Grand Posca little hat of foam that's just kind of falling off the bear onto him Yeah, I mean the army I guess like we the digital, then we got like a lot of the digital warfare.

I mean, I guess one thing that always I find, it's right, the more, what I always find is funny to me is these things. Thank you. Thank you, no worries. I'm not saying we really do this. But it's, you know how like when, you know, they're like, oh, some big, like Russian hacker group have taken down the Royal Family's website.

And they go, whoa, what's that effecting? One guy, the guy who fucking runs the website, yeah, is like, who cares? And just the fact that they ever take down websites, something that almost nobody uses anyway. Yeah. Like, other than like to fill out a passport or something like that, like,

I'm like, crazy, we don't use websites anymore. Yeah, and now we're just on social media and we can get it done pretty much in a couple of sentences, most of the time the information that you need. And you go, oh, you're taking it out. I think who gives a fuck? And but yet, the news thing still report on you. A website was taken down.

Like, I mean, you literally could look at the same website on the way back machine for like the last three years and it hasn't changed. Yeah. People are out running out into the streets. So websites be taken down. They're weeping. The guy who was in charge of a website security, he throws himself off a building. But no king of mine is not going to have an active website. I'm in a staunch royalist my whole life. Now for that is website mishap. We scrapped all the things.

I said I can't live with myself anymore. Man and boy we looked after this website in charge of security for Her Majesty's website. Do you think the royal family, like cyber security, is still wearing the beehive? And that's exactly where I was going as well. Keeper of the Queen's website hereyoman of the guard. Peter Robbsland. He actually gets the photographs of the Royal Family email to his email account.

It's a very important role. He passes them on to Deadwick. And Deadwick is the one who upload and does the sizing. Deadwick, the one who uploads and does the sizing. Ah, Deadwick, Deadwick, a holder of the Black Rod, and the Black Rod is, I guess, a USB stick with a one- It's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, one of those like- Pads, like a digital pet. Oh, sure, okay, can it still be at overnight?

Sure, yeah, it's a big, long one like this. Oh, the Wacom tablet. Yeah, Wacom., the Wacom tablet. Yeah, Wacom. On the Wacom. The Wacom. I'm using the Wacom. Now, I use the Wacom instead of a mouse, because where it's more accurate. Yeah, but there's so much pageantry

and they've got a clippy clop up to each other at like bow and hand over the stick and that sort of thing. But just like the devastation has, the website has been taken down. It's like, I feel like nothing matters anymore in this world. I was the one who had to personally go in and break the news to her majesty. The Queen's still alive in the scheme. Oh, yeah, but this is the last year. Yeah, that, uh, the website had been taken down and she looked at me

and she's always been so strong in these situations. I could see that it affected her, but she maintained her composure and she didn't share a single tear. She simply said, bother. Well, we'll have to get back up again soon. I'll never forget what she said to me. She said, what's the website? She said, what's the website? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I think that the queen was the real jewel in the crown. Wasn't that beautiful? Isn't that beautiful? Obviously she's not. A match of the queen got stolen. Oh no!

No, they've stolen the queen! Very under your arm. It's a smashing grab job. It's not even well played. It's just a crime of opportunity. This guy grabs the queen and he's out. I did it. Right in the street.

He straps her to the hip. Oh, and he's right off into the water. He puts a little snorkel on her. I mean, he's escaping to the Thames. Yeah. Goes underwater and the tip of still just running on the bottom. Occasionally, he shoves the queen up above the water to get a breath of it. Queen alive. I think Smash and Grab job, Stolen the Queen.

I think what's great about the Queen dying is now we know she's dead, right? And presumably, like, because TV shows, I think now she's in the public domain probably as well, right? So we can, we can write, in a now she's in the public domain probably as well. Right? So we can write, in a way she is, right? You can't libel the dead. So we can do anything we want with her. She can libel her. In fact, this is the only way she can live on.

That's right. It's Bible. Through mockery. Through, yeah. And yeah, I think now it's open season on the queen and her, and her tremendous legacy. Her tremendous legacy. Jack, we have our next guest.

You have carried us so far. Wow, and you took us through one of our roughest patches because we also like, we're needing energy. So we ate in front of you. And then we had our crash after we ate. And we had a little fight. Then we had a fight. And that went back. And our minds had our crash after we ate and we had a little fight. Then we had a fight. And that went back.

And our minds had to recover. Yeah. No, it's a goddamn delight, as always, guys. Jack Troos. I hope it goes well. Friend of the show. Jack Troos, do you have anything to promote? Promote your sketches.

I've got a lot of sketches on YouTube. If you want to check out some sketches on YouTube, just that Jack Troos. That would be great. Yeah. Thank you so much, Jack. Thank you, guys. Such a pleasure much, Jack. Thank you guys. Such a pleasure to have you.

If you want to come back at the 1 a.m. and tell when we go through all the sketches and tell us which ones you think ants would like, I think the viewers would really love that. Yeah. And can we welcome Matt Stewart back from doing a quiz for a box party. Yeah.

How did it go? Um. It went. Eggs. Oh my god. Eggs went very well. Which one is it, which is the better spot? I mean, that one, the mic definitely gets closer

and I think it's easier. Yeah. Oh, and I like the way you're sitting there. Yeah, yeah. It's uncomfortable. Yeah, had the trivia go. It was pretty, it was pretty fun. Box night. How many guys? Maybe like 20 25

It was a place the football team and a couple others. Wow They won the reserves but the same day the seniors lost their ground final so god damn it was a bit. It was a mixed bag So with the sum seniors and some reserves. So some of the players, the people there who weren't quite as good at football, they're all a lot happier. Yeah. Which I think is the case with a lot of things. I think that's the case in life. Yeah. And did you mind if I hand you the eggs? No, are they some of these? I'm sorry, Andy, and because it was supposed to be two. There's been to be two dozen.

There's meant to be two dozen. Maybe some of these will be double-yokers. And I could, and I had to just microwave them upstairs. Oh my god, I don't even know that was the thing you could do. I didn't either, I've been doing a lot of Googling, but also in the chat, Michaela and Brian and a few others gave me some tips. Oh, these are really hot.

I had to punch a hole in them. Like they literally came out of the microwave two minutes. Yeah, right. Or maybe give them a moment, because sometimes eggs explode. Yeah, explode. Yeah, explode. Yeah, they're so hot. Like I've seen eggs come out of the microwave later.

Yeah, like once you start cutting into them and then they go. Sometimes they'll dig up an unexploded egg in the backyard of someone in Britain, and they'll have to actually get the... An unexploded microwave dig from the second wall wall wall wall this is from the blitz unexploded egg really that's great what I mean I mean I think there's fertile comedy to arrive from the concept of unexploded all sorts of things yeah in the in the in the in in people's back

yeah like there could be somebody who's still holding on to a personal gradual you know it was angry about something an unexploded no grandfather and unexploded uncle from you know some situation from the war or just like from like that on a mine. No, no He's not exploded because he's so angry about something. He's got something building I like from the time dead somebody used his mower without asking Something you shouldn't do Mate use somebody's man's mower. You don't touch your head. That is a kid

You know touch a man's wallet and you don't touch a man's mower. You can fondle his penis all day long, all day long, and all and, hey, twice on a Sunday. And twice on a Sunday. The thing that we're selling. Yeah, about fondling, yeah, a man's penis. Yeah, yeah. One day, it was a day to do a 12. Yeah. Cool. 30, I think we, I think I'm, I think I'm just on 31. At one point I saw that, I thought, when I checked in earlier,

I thought, I'll be done before I need to go in. Yeah, I mean, there was time for it to seem like that we have had a big slowdown. Yeah. The big slowdown. Yeah, but it's always going to it to be like that we have had a big slowdown so the big slowdown Yeah, but it's you know, it's always gonna happen your brain starts to deteriorate But you know brought a step for if you want that's very kind of I do worry that like a booze will I mean There's a chance that will fix everything. Let's do it. Hey, let's do it. I just sometimes you're gonna you gotta break the you gotta

You're gonna shake it up. Yeah, yeah All right, I might have one Alice is okay. Yeah, yeah. All right. I might have one, Alice. Is that OK? Yeah, yeah. There's a, yeah, these were, these are from the good people, Bodrigi. Whoa.

They're leftovers from a different thing, but it still feels like they're sponsoring this event as well. How do you see artwork? Oh, man. Ellie Durkin. He's so good. I am. I mean, I couldn't believe it when I saw it.

Are you sure I can have this style? Yeah, oh, it's just, I just got it from the Super Offerage. Is that Bodrigi gave him to us? Bodrigi. What were you doing? I'm Hayan Dianna, I'm sorry. I think it was when we did a Dary. Yeah.

Sorry we're not drinking right now. No, I was saying, I'm sorry. I pushed pressure into that. Yeah, same ranking. Well, I did a bit. I brought them here. I didn't realize you're on a draw patch. You sitting on a draw patch?

I am on a draw patch, but it's because I'm supposed to be getting fit for this. You are looking fit. I don't know if I am, but I did do it. I did like, I was, because I realized that I'm gonna absolutely destroy my perineum, and I think the fact that I'm ahead so much weight, so this week I did do it two day fast

They're just trying like drop a couple of kilos and it probably unhealthy when just the when just the big bicarid Star mid November out of my birthday my 40th. What is a perineum? The perineum is the area between The testicles and the and the I'll skew this a lot I know it but it's come up so many times But then Andy has discovered that there's an X this is the endo perineum the exo perineum is say the distance between my penis and your asshole Well, actually that's a exo and an endo because you're you're in front of him right? I've got to go across that distance and then continue Yeah, okay, so that's the summation of those two I've got to go across that distance and then continue One way One way

Yeah, okay So that's the summation of those two Have you been hitting these sort of These key areas that you normally do? I tuned in, I was watching in the bath earlier Yeah And you started That's hitting one of your key areas

Yeah it was And you were talking about shitting and saw I muted it for a bit Oh yeah, and I turned it on and you it you were talking about So tired our first Marvel or office. Yeah, I mean that's For a few times. Yeah, I'd finish eating by then. Yeah, okay. You're eating in the bath. Oh, yeah Matt, do you do is there anything you don't do in the bath? No, I mean you're probably the greatest candidate of anybody that I know as somebody who is, I would call semi-aquatic.

But you're a big bath guy. Do you think, like, is there... Is there a bath board? Is there some sort of bath council who could like, who you could be like a spokesperson for? Yeah, there is. I'm happy to be. You could be the number one bath boy. I mean, maybe you could be like the captain snooze of barbs. Yes. I mean, I'm just gonna get a captain's bluge. But that's not the same thing, yeah.

Cross my mind, well. I didn't mean to be captain's bluge. Yeah, that as well. I mean, you know, you could do ads for like Adam and Eve and things like that. And you're like, hey, if you're into this kind of thing, yeah, go get it. go get yourself a toy. I'm Captain Splooge.

What's that of an evil? It's not the characters. I mean, that was the sex shot, online sex shot that Mark Marin used to advertise on. Oh, yeah. I think they used to have one in kindergarten. Oh, yeah, you get those things, you know, one of them, they go in there

and then, you know, whatever you look at, whatever you're, whatever you're thinking. And you know, whatever you're thinking is, it's not my thing. You go in there and then you know whatever you look at. Yeah, whatever you're, whatever you're thinking. Yeah, whatever you're thinking is something I see. You go in there and it gets into you. Yeah. I mean, what is like that? Like, there's, there's nothing else. You know that, you know that coffee that was big for a while where it's like this coffee

comes from the shit of some kind of monkey. Yeah. The monkey eats the coffee beans, and shits them out, we get the shit, we get the beans out of the shit, and then we sell this as extra expensive, because like, because the coffee's so good, right? Because the monkey chooses the best coffee you eat.

But then eventually they got caged apes, like caged of those creatures. No. And they would just feed them whatever theyes, like caged of those creatures. No. And they would just feed them whatever they could get. Yeah, of course. Because they didn't want that. And then eventually they just got other animals that they could caged.

To shit. And then they would be like, oh, now this is elephant. They're shooting it. If you're cheating it, why bother with the whole shitting part of the process? It is. Like the people weren't excited about with the fact that it's been shit, shit it out. and they didn't even presumably know that it'd been

shit. Yeah yeah but of course it's gonna end up like that. Wow yeah of course I mean capitalism ruins everything even monkey shit. Yeah but we got to stop talking about you can Matt Matt doesn't like shit. No but I love monkeys. Yeah well that's true. This is sort of a safe middle ground. Yeah I'm not eating right now. Yeah that's really good. What there's got to be other products that would be you'd be able to get a high premium for once a bench shootout for an exotic animal. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I mean, let's see. I mean, even things that could be like, you know, non-edible products, I feel like they they might improve better just because like it gives

you a thing a story like if you had a computer mouse, like a wireless mouse that you know an elephant had eaten, and then shout out. I feel like, because it's so rare that a mouse, a computer mouse has any... I already connect to an emotional value, you know? That's right, they're scared of mice. It's a great ad when they brought up the new waterproof iPhone, right, if they could have like got an elephant to eat it

and then shit it out. Yeah, and then you hear it ringing in the dung. Hmm. That's right. Yeah, because then what they do is they think they turn on the torch and they start recording. Yeah. Right. And so then it talks about all those things. Oh, that's really good. As it goes through the elephant's mouth. Yeah. And then it films the whole way through and it doesn't fast forward in the ad. Hmm. And then how it comes out here. You know, right into the hand, right into the dumb, pull it out.

Pull it out. Great image, the dumb, the vibrating. It's your blood, it's your blood, it's your blood, you say, will you marry me? That's beautiful. What a beautiful ad. Yes. Yeah. I was thinking like, could you tell me about wedding rings before?

How much more special, like, oh great, it's a, a, a Domen ring, but this Domen ring has been through it, rhinoceros. Yeah. That's great. Oh, that's beautiful. And you think that would make it a lot more special. You've heard of a blood diamond, but what about a bile diamond? Oh.

You know, I'm, um, I'm trying to think of any other bodily fluids. Piss? What about a piss diamond? The water proof. The same as the carrot levels that they do now and stuff, whatever those things are. So, work your way up from bodily fluids to bodily solids. Bodies are. And also the size of this diamond is so big,

we had to pass it through the digestive system of X animal. Right? Bigger the diamond, the bigger the animal, you've got to put it through. You should, and you're like, you know, you're out there, you're showing off your new diamond engagement ring tour, your girlfriends, you're like, look at this.'re out there, you're showing off your new diamond engagement ring to all your girlfriends, you're like, look at this. And they're like, how big is that?

That stone is enormous, and you're like, yes, it had to be shit out by an elephant. Yeah. Why? Sorry, African or Indian? African. Whoa. Yeah, whoa.

Because the bigger the diamond, obviously, the bigger the animal, you've got to have to pass it. Oh, right, yeah, yeah. I mean, it's a bit... Is that true? Is it always the cake? Because you two are sort of scientists. Yeah, yeah. You know how to answer this probably?

Is it always the bigger the animal, the bigger the rectum? Or are there some animals? Wow, that'd be really interesting. I guess the... We have a rectum to body size ratio. Yeah. Probably some, probably go... You know, I feel like something like a Tasmanian devil.

Probably has one that's quite big for its size. Relative to its body, because it seems like it's so food-driven. Yeah. Yeah. And also they're like, they're really like crunching up bones and stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah. A lot of probably things that are like not fully digested. Yeah.

And they're going to want to have like basically a barn door back there. And like they're just- Sweep stuff out, out, you know, like you're being a trailer. Lining is probably like a leather jacket. You know, it's just it can just anything can run across it and not damage the inner lining, you know, like that. You know, they're probably eating shovels. Was that in that movie, The Young Hinds? Yeah, I don't think that's, I don't. Okay. But it does feel like a young Hinds style idea. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, he but it does feel like a young time style idea. Yeah He's shoving it at it and it eats it. Is that what happens? Yeah, I could be that Yeah, is there anything in the rectum to body size? It's not quite a I mean did we get anywhere with the like the passing the ring

You know like passing yeah passing through the I've got the iPhone one and I wasn't sure if we should go Yeah, so like the the imagine if your beloved was a vet, right? And she works on exotic animals. Yeah. You want to propose. Yeah. You get the elephant to eat the ring, right? There's a bit of an obstruction for whatever reason

she needs to put her hand up the, she's gonna get the broom, the broom handle. She brings her hand up there. She's going to get the broom. The broom handle. It brings her hand back out there on the glove. Is the diamond ring. Beautiful diamond ring. I mean, what a way to do that. There's almost no more beautiful story.

Yeah. I guess the wife vet. I mean, we did also, at one point, come up with the idea of your... I mean, it's almost exactly the same idea, but by proposing to your beloved, you're both surgeons and you propose to your beloved, you perform surgery on a guy, you leave the ring in there. Couple of weeks later, he has to come back in.

There's a bit of been an foreign object found in his body. This time, you're beloved. The other surgeon does it. She finds the ring in there. She my god. Yes, and you're hugging over the operating table. It's the guy bleeds out and dies What a story Yeah, what to him a big cost, but the cost of love. Yeah, sometimes it's a hefty price to pay sure a hefty price to pay what if What if she got sick that, what does this feel like? Like somebody else.

It's somebody else. And someone else has to come in at the last minute. And they, yeah, yeah. It was on the heft because it's bonding, isn't it? Yeah. It was like that. Yeah, it's like a baby duck seeing its mother. It's this side's like that.

And whoever the ring. Yeah. And touches first. In print on the end. Yeah, it becomes your wife for your feelings. And so if it was like you're elderly boss or something like that, it would just be a terrible outcome. Oh, no, no, no.

In the elderly boss. You know, you put it on and it's like, I do. Not that. And then it's like, let me piggyback you back to the coffee room. Now, how can we do something with that idea of the baby duck imprinting on people right because I would love a situation in which Doesn't quite it in fact it's almost the exact opposite of what it would need to be for this to work, but like you know how like

Some there's a company the CEO is forced to resign or something for whatever reason, right? The board of directors, they don't have a CEO, but when they're in that sort of vulnerable phase, right, whoever they see, or the company, whoever they're the board of directors sees, whoever walks into the room next. They're going to be the CEO. Everything you see, I see. See how? Look at that. Yeah.

And then somebody goes, uh, and he goes, uh, is this, uh, Gerald's funeral parlour? Yeah, really good. That's, and it's a little non-er. Yeah, a little non-er. She somehow got up to the 18th floor. You know, the Chrysler building. Yeah. she's in the wrong building She's in the wrong scene Politely like that. Yeah, and then they're like no, no, but you are now our CEO Oh, I don't know. I don't have enough. She tries to go away, but they all follow her they will shuffle after her quacking I never got my MBA.

MBA, I'm not the... I'm only... I only got... I only got the bachelor's in business. Administration. Bookkeeping. Administration. Administration.

That, that, that, that, that, that... Or what then? I'm in a how to do it. I'm not sure how to do it. I'm not sure how to do it. I'm not sure how to do it. I'm not sure how to do it. I'm not sure how to do it. I'm not sure how to do it. I'm not sure how to do it.

I'm not sure how to do it. I'm not sure how to do it. I'm not sure how to do it. I'm not sure how to do it. I'm not sure how to do it. I'm not sure how to do it. I'm not sure how to do it. I'm not sure how to do it.

I'm not sure how to do it. I'm not sure how to do it. I'm not sure how to do it. I'm not sure how to do it. I'm not sure how to do it. I'm not sure how to do it. I'm not sure how to do it. I'm not sure how to do it she's been a mother. Mm-hmm. That's why she's a Nana. Mm-hmm. All right. She's a double mother. Double mother.

Yeah, that's right. She's potentially had a large family as it is. What is a board other than just a group of children? Exactly. Looking for a nourishment. Exactly. Looking for leadership. Readers Exactly. Looking for leadership. We know. Family. Looking for a matriarch, a patriarch.

You know, there's the first egg going in. Hard boil. Oh, wow. It's all right. It's all hot in there. It's cooked right through. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Very hard boiled.

It was, uh... You put them in water to microwave them. Water in boiling water. Long we talking Well the the article I found said four minutes for two and Then another minute for every further two so did for six minutes, but it sounds like that was too long It's fine. It's good. One that exploded exploded about four minutes in wow, and that made me see you pushed through Yeah, yeah, I thought I was gonna start watching them pop

Yeah, it was the only one that did hmm Yeah, that did look that look like it these are these are super ethical as well, which I knew would be a Jigs yeah, yeah, I think I think I think a fifth well, you know, that said they were they're cake He said it said cageless. It's what it's one thing only 1500 Hands per hectare. It's got a bit of, and you'll see others that say 10,000 or something. What about a truly free-range egg? A chicken, right?

You just give the chicken a backpack, right? 50 bucks. Yeah, a bit of folding. Yeah, and you say, meet me back here in six months. Yeah, comes back in six months, lays one egg, you send it off again. Yeah. And you put that egg through an elephant. Yeah. I mean, the idea that that is passing it through, I guess, yeah, like, like, because an elephant's probably the only thing they could eat it without, you know, so I guess a snake. Oh, they're good at that. They do actually eat them, but then they digest

them too much, Eric. I mean, unless you want to put an exit hole in the elephant or whatever early so that you can oh Yeah, that'd be clever, you know I pass the elephant Like so that you can get it out before it gets fully digested sort of like they do you know in a rugby scrum Exactly put them in the front. Oh, it comes out The old days that come out of it now just sort of just they just feed it and get it straight out Yeah, sort of like that saves the time. Yeah, I'm just turning to a bit of a joke. I think it out

Yeah, people have figured out like a bit of a job I didn't really contribute They kind of they've kind of masked you know, it's like when somebody masters a game They realize oh, there's a quick exit here. Yeah, and we don't have to it's like you know It's like now now that you know that there's only like really a few ways to win like tic-tac toe Yeah, now that we know you just go go for it. You're working it for hundreds of years. You just go one corner to the other corner, and then that third corner to the other two options.

Yeah, you got that. You got the battle field. That move should be illegal. Yeah. You should make that move illegal to make Tic Tac Toe fun again. Let's make it, let's make it. You know? Yeah, absolutely.

There's a sketch in a, someone who is like passionately campaigning to take Tic Tac Toe fun again. Yeah. There's a sketch in a someone who's like passionately campaigning to take Tecto front of him. Yeah. What about this? And get another row in there. Tecto, but two of the corners are blocked with like a square or something like that. Yeah, and there's already not a long game.

Yeah. I think, well, this is like the big basch league of Tecto, okay? Kids don't have the attention span for Tic-Tac-Toe. We're sexing it up, okay? We've blocked out two of the squares already. 20-20 Tic-Toe, it's very... Mmm. Yeah.

People don't have the attention span anymore for a full gamutic Tic-Toe. This is for the kids. Half-time entertainment in a Tic-Tac-Toe? Yeah, you'd have dance. A lot of these, yeah. Beyonce? Yeah. I mean, a feature, though.tac-toe. Yeah, you'd have to be on say. Yeah, I mean, a feature though. Oh, that's great.

Yeah, yeah. Take me out to the, you know, the board game. The board game. Take me out to the table. What is the real word that goes there? Take me out to the crowd. Really? where it goes there. Take me out to the crowd. Yeah, like crowd. And then buy me up big pen and paper pad.

I don't care if I ever get had. I like aeroplane. Jelly. Aeroplane jelly for me. It's never connected to those thoughts. What do you know? I like you. I like you. I like you.

I like you. I like you. I like you. I like you. I like you. I like you. I like you. I like you.

I like you. I like you. I like you. I like you. I like you. I like you. I like you. I like you. I like you.

I like you. I like you. I like you. I like Tac Tuna. Yeah. I think Tic Tac Tau, that's Tic Tac Tau, but there's only two squares. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. That's one. One, like in Tess, we had a very important win in the toss. Yeah. But then you also. It doesn't matter. You can't win the game. It's going to be a draw no matter what. Well, what if you got a, you got a run from opposite ends of a gymnasium or something, get to the board, and then you can do as many as you can in the time available. Still won't be able to connect three though, which is really the point.

Forget it, forget it, forget the whole thing. What is TickTack? What is the tick and the tag and the toe? Yeah, what's the toe? Yeah, tic tac make sense, but shouldn't it be tic tac talk Tic tac talk it should be tic tac talk. I think it was not to cross as when I was a kid They're really dumb to down for me. Yeah, no, not in crosses when I was a kid as well I know, but that's that title's too literal You know come on and then also I never like, I never liked the word nauts.

I know that that's a bit, but that's very North American of me. But I never really believe in naut as a zero. And I also don't believe that the circles that you put in a tic-tac-toe is a zero. It's a circle. Yeah, right. So it's not really a naut and cross.

I always thought North must be a North American, isn't it? Yeah, I feel You know, so it's not really a knot and cross. I always thought, Nort must be a North Americanism. Yeah, I thought so too. It feels like Nort's, this is the reverse of the norm. Normally America goes, this is confusing. Let's just call it the thing that it is. So they didn't call the Norties the Norties?

They thought it was. They thought it was sort of this. I don't think so, because then you call it the Norties. And so then it sounds like you're saying the knotty. Mm. You know, because that's the same with this accent. I'm really glad I don't have to eat 24 of these eggs. And so then it sounds like you're saying the naughty. You know, because that's the same with this accent. I'm really glad I don't have to eat 24 of these eggs.

I'm starting to feel like, already. Too much protein, because people will worry that you might get too much protein. Yeah, I get protein-powered. Yeah, you get too, yeah. Hey, what about this? Have I ever talked about this? You know, you know, a raw paper scissor. Yeah. What about this? Rock, hey, what about this? Have I ever talked about this? You know, you know, rock paper scissor.

Yeah. What about this? Rock, paper, jack Nicholson. Yeah, what beats what? Okay. We rock paper scissor. So you've started beats rock. Yeah.

Jack Nicholson beats paper. And Jack Nicholson beats rock and Jack Nicholson beats rock Yeah, so yeah, are you is there a limit? How many times you can deploy Jack? No, okay But because everyone knows that Jack Nicholson only weaknesses Yeah, it's not being used. No, so there's no weakness for Jack. There's no weakness for Jack. Okay, so yeah, so probably similar to the other one, this might end in a lot of draws. Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. And that egg was really not good for some reason. Oh, what was that? It's not a good one. No, it was an unexploded egg. Oh, yeah. No, no, it's fine. I mean, I'm definitely not, I'm not even complaining.

I know it sounds like a app. It's not the mouse. But it's definitely not directed at you. It's just like, I see this is a situation that's entirely of my own making it entirely within my control. So I'm bearing the responsibility. Okay.

I don't think I peeled it very well. I think I left on that outer layer of A.M. Oh yeah. Which is not nice to work your way through. Yeah, yeah. I'm in the middle layer doing, just giving the shell from the egg. Mm. Yeah, yeah. We have middle layer doing, just the, keeping the shell from the egg. Mm.

Yeah, it probably like is like a, it'll be like, it doesn't let water in, but let's air in. That might be the, it's the whole egg is, because the egg is a cell, right? Is that a whole cell? That whole egg is one cell. Apparently.

So that must be the cell membrane. Yeah, maybe, yeah. Oh. That's okay, you just eat a cell. Doesn't it have like membranes or any worse than that? Oh, height membranes. I don't like eating membranes. Yeah. No.

Can you be like, soapsil sang in sang in the membrane? That's not a possible thing, is it? Or can you be in sang anyway like that? What about it in, you know, like in your foot or something like that? Yeah, in sang in the membrane, in sang in my brain, and saying in the, is it? What about like, like, that guy's got a crazy hand. Yeah, yeah, but like, but he's, there's not that his hand is like, like this.

Like, he said his hand is crazy. It is crazy. Like, his hand doesn't listen to his regular mind. Wow, okay. Like that, and his hand just decides, like that, whatever. This is the movie, Idle Hands, with Seth Green. Idle Hands. Is it? You've got this go crazy hands?

He's got one hand, I think it's possessed by the devil. Yeah, right. God damn it. I don't think I've seen the film. But I have heard my brothers describe it to me. Okay, what about this? This guy's got a crazy mouth. Yeah, okay, great. Oh, I'm not. It'd be the worst part of you to be crazy. Yeah, okay, great. Oh, I'm not, I'd be the worst part of you to be crazy.

Yeah, yeah. My mouth doesn't listen to me. I mean, the idea that your mouth is now saying things of its own volition, right? Maybe it doesn't even do this, right? Oh, oh, oh. Like, but like, your mouth is talking, saying things you don't want it to say, right?

You're having to write notes to people to be like I don't think that that's just my mouth. Yeah Really good concept for a film. Yeah, yeah, yeah, and we got to keep it quite legally distinct from lie a lot of Tourette's I don't think this that's just my mouth Okay, I with a crazy. What would you call it? Would you call it mouthing off? Would you call it... Crazy mouth.

Crazy, I'd call it crazy mouth. I've already said that a few times. So yeah, and the, you know, there'll be people there, scientists, types go in. Does the mouth all that is needed to do the talking? You know what I mean? Yeah. Like some won't there be scientists in the audience? And this is a bit far-fetched.

Yeah, yeah. It's not just his mouth, he's all these voice boxes required, you too. Yeah, yeah. But, and can he's not even no words? But also, but also Matt, you know, they'll understand that also he's not, he's probably just going,

he's saying that for efficiency reasons. It's actually also his voice box is currently. Technically his voice box as well. Personally, it's the kind of thing. I'd let slide, but I'm just trying to get ahead of this. You gotta, he's got a kind of madness, called mouth madness. Yeah.

It only, a mouth-diam madness like that, because his mouth's only crazy during the day, when the sun goes down. Oh, all right, his mouth. His mouth becomes sane again. Wow, it's mouse only crazy during the day when the sun goes down. Oh, all right. It's the normal man. He comes sane again. Wow. It's only during the day.

Yeah. Yeah. So the same hours. Oh, no, it's a full sun today. Yeah. It's a full sun today. Yeah. It's the same hours that, you know, you can eat during Ramadan. OK.

Right. Also, he lives in one of those like Finland kind of places where some parts of the year it's sunny all day. Sunny all day. And this is... All day, the sun is up. And this is where this movie set.

Mm-hmm. See some of Solstice. Oh no. Yeah. Wait, and that's sunny all day. Oh, okay, right, right, right, yeah, that's bad. And he's not allowed to leave for some reason How would you write that in? Well every time he tries to leave his mouth undermines it. Oh, yes Yeah, he goes up to the airport and the and he's trying to buy a ticket out

But he's mouth saying no tickets, please. Hi, I just don't want to buy a ticket. Yeah, well writes down on the newspaper No, I really do want to, I really do want a ticket. Don't read the paper. I'm kidding, you're about the paper. This is a joke, I know. I've got a crazy hand. Magic, I've got a crazy hand. That's really good.

The mouth's one step ahead of it, man. Every step ahead of it. But he shows up at the ticket booth. He's got a full gag in the mouth. Yeah, really? Like that. And then it's just like, like, oh, I got it. And he's like, that, like that. That was the man. I'm just joking. Like that. I it's just like like like

That's the my hand I'm just joking like that I got a crazy hand. Yeah Crazy Yeah, I think it's gonna be really easy mouth. That's gonna be big This can't even know it's gonna be a great movie. Yeah, I think yeah, yeah I think I'm still included. Yeah, yeah, because sometimes we just like come up with a type of clothes. Yeah, and that counts. I mean, those work. I mean type of clothes. I think Alistair, I think some of the sketch formats you talked down on them, but I'm like, they could just be like a somebody pitching it or an ad or something. It's very easy. Anything you can turn anything into. Oh, I agree with you in. Thank you. Yeah, yeah. What about this? Like a carrot as long as you're like you know and they Yeah

Okay, I mean yeah, I think you wrong about this thing about it I can't really get sketch well I mean I could do somebody pitching it or something. Yeah, okay. Pitching it. Somebody pitching the idea. But Carrot is just your leg. You know Carrot's what about, I would four times longer.

I mean, I would absolutely love to be able to just buy one enormous carrot that I could just chop bits off on. You can definitely do that. Or a whole week or something. Do you think the carrot wouldn't start to get soft or whatever like that? I mean, if you keep it, I mean, little Carr carrots, if you keep them in the right kind of thing, they don't, that doesn't ever have to.

A long carrot probably wouldn't fit in your fridge. Oh, that's true. I have to get a special kind of fridge. I think special fridges would become a thing. Yeah. If you got big carrots, the people would just have a carrot. You know, like a circular fridge like for architectural drawings. Yeah.

And circular fridge for architectural drawings. You know, architectural drawings that you would have to secular, free, architectural drawing. You know, architectural drawings that you would have to keep cold. Yeah. Oh, but these are still cold. Yeah, but when you don't have architectural drawings, you could just put carrots in there and just store your long carrots in there.

And there's a full industry that comes, that builds around these long carrots, right? It's this new thing, long carrots, you know, restaurants are serving them on really long plates. Oh yeah, just a carrot on that. Just, no, a few carrots. Is it roasted, do you think? It could be roast, could be pan fried.

Yeah, wow, big pan, big pan like that. We rebuild all of society based around this. Yeah, like that. We need, we need new pans, we need new stoked. Let's go. Yeah, and people, instead of carrying them in a bag or whatever, they just put them down the leg of their pants. And they just walk without being able to do that.

What about this? Or you get your special pants made for the third leg. Yeah. That's the carrot leg. Well, you get like six extra tiny legs. And no gentleman would be seen in polite society without a carrot leg. Well, you get like six extra tiny legs. And no gentleman would be seen in polite society without a carrot leg. Yeah, and then you know what happens. So then the world is like people are installing fridges that can have like full carrots coming

coming in. They get their architectural drawing fridges as well, things like that, right? And then suddenly a blight comes through, wipes out that whole carrot species. Like that, and they can't bring it back. They didn't save a single plant. Like that, and the whole industry collapses. People, and then, you know, people are crying. My dad was in lung carrots his whole life.

Like that, I mean, it had been like three years or something like that. But, you know, he had invested everything in these lung carrots. And it's brutal. You know, and people are left with these long stoves and pants. They evolve something else to fill them or something. Well, I mean, they just try to put like lots of different small stakes next to them or whatever

like that. And they just try to sell the bells on the big plates. But people are not coming out with the same excitement anymore for the carrots. Some people try and get big zucchini's gone. Yeah, like, yeah. And then they're like, well, they're not the same. Some people try and get big zikinis gone, but... Yeah, like, yeah. And then they're like, well, they're not the same. It's not the same. Like the big zikini, I mean, that's already a thing.

It's already a thing. Like those things get fucking big, don't they? You see how big these zikinis get? You can get real big. Yeah. I don't tell the big zikini. You did? How did it feel?

A good. Yeah, great. I did a hold on eight. I don't like zikinis. Yeah, right. And the big ones, actually actually they're not nearly as nice That would that would be the same with a carrot you think you'd have to assume so I guess with what I mean that middle bit of the carrot Yeah, what do you center what do you center of cool? Yeah, I don't find it that would be but like yeah, but sometimes it can be a little bit tougher

Yeah, it used to be used to be before we were kids We're trying to explain to kids what it was like. What carrots used to be. I remember in balance had pips. That's a lot of stuff. Yeah, I remember bite eating around the carrot and just having, and just keeping it. That's why I used to do that too. Yeah, it's right. Yeah, it really was a carrot cool.

Yeah, and like you kind of had to like, it's like inside the carrot, there's a second, denser carrot. And there would be these sort of bumps on it. Yeah, that's right. I really enjoyed doing that Yeah, I don't do that with one day Yeah, I haven't tried but like it's a very like when you're doing that like you really know carrots Yeah, I don't think I don't think you can do that anymore I'm not thought of it in a way. I'm gonna try and do it later. I don't think I don't reckon they'll have that dance. Membrame between the two.

If carrots are harvested too late, the middle is woody. Thank you, Michaela. Thank you, Michaela. So we used to get light harvest. Glade harvest carrots, yeah. You wanna get that first press carrot. Mm-hmm. New seasons.

New season. Who's counting the sketches? I've got like Brian and Jason kind of just like updating it. You're getting people counting from Seattle. I mean, we're getting people around the globe. How do you help? That's where Jason is Connecticut. Wyoming?

Probably Wyoming. Wyoming, sure. Yeah, uncertain. I'm not a great word. Yeah, Wyoming. What about this? It's a, you know, okay, a great word. Yeah, I mean. What about this? It's a, okay, so steam trains.

Yeah. You know, they were big for a while. And then there probably are, is there electric trains? Yeah. Steam plane. How about you feel about that? I did like that. It's pretty ill-on-a-bombed, really cool.

Yeah. But, you know, what about like, somebody was like, do you think there was a time in between when like, you know, diesel trains came out where a guy was trying to get the steam of a different liquid? Oh. Is it what about milk steam? Yeah. Could we make a petrol steam engine? I mean, it'd be easier.

Yeah. So you shovel coal in, you boil the petrol. Yeah. Then you get the petrol steam. Yeah. You use that to turn the turbines. You could get maybe more pressure faster, right? Maybe.

It's got a lower boiling point. Yeah. Yeah, shoot. The boiling point. I mean, there could be. It's lower. Yeah, yeah. I imagine there are some, you know, there'd be some risks.

We have to mitigate about having this enormous fat of boiling petrol in front of our engine. Yeah, but. And then fencing out the. But it's no different to like the big Zeppelin or whatever filled with hydrogen. No different. Yeah, and you know, I mean, they didn't all crash

in a fiery mess like that. It was only just that one and probably a few others. There. It should be another gas called low-drigin. Oh, yes. So when you want to go underwater. Well, then like worrying about what boils fast, I think what you want to go underwater? Well, then like worrying about what oil's far, I think what you want to use is a liquid that will give you a second benefit.

And maybe like, you know, something that is also either cooking or, you know, you're getting... Yeah, nice smell, aromatic. Oh, nice smell, yeah. Yeah, so like, I like an essential oil or something like that. An essential oil. Lavender. Mm. Because if you're spreading that through the countryside.

Milk, what about its milk? Can you making lattes? Yeah, there you go. Yeah. That's great, like you'll... Shh. There's a guy there up in the carpet. They've got all those levers and stuff,

showing everywhere. You're shoveling coal there. Is that horrible coal smoke coming out? And also the smell of burned milk, which is always good. Yeah, yeah. Oh, it's like the inside is good. The whole of milk, the milk is really hot. I mean, it's not a traditional way to make a latte.

No. But it's okay. It's still coming rushing out. Yeah, but they tried for at least a couple of things to have like the cappuccino and jr. Whatever like that. But as it's going faster and faster, the trains go faster and faster, they're making these coffees so quick.

Everybody in the back of the train has got to keep drinking them all. Yeah. Then something you could pile up. But they're running out of milk in there and suddenly it's the steam. Yeah, and that's why are they making the coffee so fast? Oh, because there's so much boiling milk coming out

of the thing, I guess. Yeah, you're right. Yeah, that doesn't make sense. I mean, do you think a cappuccino steam engine is... I think a cappuccino steam engine is everything, you know, is there? I mean, this is the... Do we already talked about this? The idea that, like, James Wat supposedly invented the steam engine

after he saw his cattle boiling to make a cup of tea. The idea, the idea, the idea. The idea that he did that, he thought of turning it into a train. But he couldn't get past, like he couldn't work out, it didn't make the leap that you didn't have to have the tea component right so like the train still exists yeah but it's a big kettle and they're using the boiling they're using the boiling water still to make cups of tea all the time even was the steam engine is going this is what really happened or this is just the thought of like this is what I was trying to

make it sound funny yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah no that's good was trying to make it sound funny. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, that's good. Let's still make it. So I get the tree bag in there. Don't cover. Quick, we're running out of tea bags. We've got to stock up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think a fresh cup. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

What about, like, is there a sketch in the idea, like, was it James what? Is that what he said? Yeah. James, right. But it's like, so it's James what, but it's it was it James what is that he said? Yeah James right but it's like so it's James What but it's a it's an old time even old time me a version of the who's on first Features James what yes and and going is there someone called Gary who? There's whose arm sounds like you sing saying it on. Oh, yeah. Oh, that's good.

Yeah, in the end of the lore of Resistance. I see. What do we got? We got Maxwell. Oh, here we go. Cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool. Yeah, okay. I mean, it's two guys, and they're talking about the lineup of keynote speakers for a symposium, right?

And they want to know who's the first speaker, okay? What? Yeah, what's the topic is? What is the topic? That's what we want to know. Yeah, yeah, so the first one is about what? Maybe that's it. Maybe it could be in the current day. This is probably who gave what gave the idea to the who's on first guys when they saw James Walter.

Mm-hmm. We can think of a few more. Sure, yeah. Sure. What about them? Volta. Marconi. Sarkozy.

Sarko so cozy really good These are all people these are all people. These are all like it. These are all scientists Tesla You know Edison Oh, man, hmm Alexander Graham Bell Yeah, for some reason he's one you got to say the full name. Yeah But you know you can be talking about this L.A.L.A.L.A.L.A.L.A.L.A.L.A.L.A.L.A.L.A.L.A.L.A.L.A.L.A.L.A.L.A.L.A.L.A.L.A.L.A.L.A.L.A.L.A.L.A.L.A.L.A.L.A.L.L.A.L.A.L.A.L.A.L.A.L.A.L.A.L.A.L.A.L.A.L.A.L.A.L.A.L.A.L.A.L.A.L.A.L.A.L.L.A.L.A.L.A.L.A.L.A.L.L.A.L.A.L.A.L.A.L.A.L.A.L.A.L.A.L.A.L.A.L.A.L.A.L.A.L.A.L.A.L.A.L.A.L.A.L.A.L.A.L.A.L.A.L.A.L.A.L.A.L.A.L.A.L.A.L.A.L.A.L.A.L.A.L.A.L.A.L.A.L.A.L.A.L got to say the full name. Yeah. But you know you can be talking about this, Elastir, Graham, about the guy who's angry that there aren't more ways to spell the word Graham. Yeah, because Andy said there's so many ways to spell Graham and I said I'll do so Graham.

And it actually makes me really angry. There aren't more. There aren't more. Yeah, I feel like I need like at least-wise to spell Grime before I can rest. Before I can even sleep. And I'm just furious. And he's trying to come up with ones, but then he's got to get at least one baby named Grime. Yeah, got to get somebody named that Grime for it to be significant.

Because what is he got? You got GR-A-H, A, M, yeah. Graham, then you've got G, R, A, E, M, E, then you've got G, R, A, H, A, M, E. Yeah. Oh, I've got the reals. Yeah, that's how great, that's how Kenneth Graham, the author of,

Wind and the Willows, how that's spelled. There's at least three. There's at least three. And what about like too many? GREYM. Grime. And they they they just call them in America. They just call them Graham. Yeah, like Graham. It's Graham Parsons. Graham Parsons. I think it's probably Graham Parsons. Wow. Probably Graham. Graham. So a Graham coefficient over in the States

We are Craig Craig is Craig yeah Craig was too long. We'll call you Craig. Yeah, I don't have the time They're busy over there. They're making business deals Yeah, I mean is that all parts of America? Or is that just a, do they call Craig Craig everywhere? I think so, and I've talked about on a podcast. I was a coach. When Americans said they can't hear the difference between Craig and Craig. That's amazing.

That's amazing. Maybe we could use that as a way to send coded messages. Oh, right. Like, you could invent a form of like a Nigma code or just use Morse code where you just go, Craig, Craig, Craig, Craig, Craig, Craig, Craig, Craig, Craig, Craig, Craig, Craig, Craig, Craig, Craig, and they are just like, all I hear is Craig.

Yeah. The American, for the Americans, that's just, and it'd be like wind talkers, right? That thing where in the Second World War, First World War, they use some people who were the only speakers of a Cherokee or something like that. You know, Native American language to communicate without the Nazis being able to understand, or in the first world war,

Austro Hungarians, whatever they were. It's that, but that's with Australians, right? We need Australians, and we can use our entire Craig-based enigma code. And we can communicate with the rest of the world in this separate allies, America. Except for America. And then, especially during an election year

where Trump goes back in, we can just be messaging each other, go, help them. We need to help them. That would be great if the rest of the world could have a group chat that didn't have an American in it. Me to be nice. Yes. You know, and it's like everybody's in there and they're like, did you guys see that fucked up shit that happened over there?

Yeah. Like that and you'd be like, uh, what was that? I think it's a presidential candidate said that he had a oval orifice. I think, um, and everyone except for the United States of America group chat is a funny idea. Yeah, yeah. Okay. Possibly even a sketch idea.

I mean, I don't think it would be insane to say it's more of a sketch idea than some of the other stuff we've said today. Uh, even more than the Craig Craig American Craig Craig. Uh, Brian can definitely hear the difference between Craig and Craig. Oh, no, the cold code thing is falling down. Is that just Seattle based? Yeah, but, but, but you see, but we don't know whether or not he would actually be, um, loyal to America.

I think we could flip him pretty quick. No true American can hear the difference between. Maybe that's great. No true American leaves America at any point you see. And so I think we can flip him. I think we can have a galvanized side. I think we've got an age of a bar before. Yeah, that's right.

Yeah. On a Vodasoy. On a Vodasoy. The Aussie is cracker there is. Vodasoy. Vod Vyta soy. The osiest cracker there is. Vyta soy. Vyta soy. With bonoks on it. Vyta soy. Hey. Vyta soy. The soy based drink. Soy drink. Vyta soy. Yeah, maybe. Helms are going to be a different one. Vyta.

Vyta bicks. Vyta bicks. Vyta bicks. Vyta. Vyta. I think the fighter, not fighter Brit. Yeah, there is a fighter one. And that's a really good biscuit. Is that the square one? Real rectangle. Rectangle.

Oh, then I don't know what's on that is. Are you thinking of like a salada? No, but there's a square one. It's quite buttery. It's actually really addictive. I haven't had it for a long time. It's a fantastic biscuit. Yeah, I mean, I can tell you're already pine and fort.

You're thinking about it, you know? Oh, yeah. Even like allowing your money. I could eat 24 of those. That was on the pot. That was on the pot. That was on the pot. Vita Wheat.

Or is Vita Wheat the cereal? No. Vita Wheat's butter. And Vita Wheat. Oh, okay. Maybe in a yellow. I don't, you know what? I don't actually like anything.

I don't like the prefix Vita Yeah, okay. Yeah, I think get the fuck out of here. It's a shuffle bottle right? Revitamin. Yeah, the vitamins vital vital. Yeah, I guess vital vital vital minerals think but I mean that's very good I think that might be it whoa Is that a point of it is that a poor man told you think a porn man? Do you think it's better than back knee? Is that better than back knee? I know, it's not better than back knee. What about ac knee?

Ac knee, the company. Yeah. Is it better than ac knee? Yeah. Is that a porn mentor? Yeah. What is it? Ac meat.

Meat. Ac meat. Ac meat. Ac meat. Acme. It feels like your delirium is contagious. Yeah. Wait, Al outing is colonic self-care. I don't know what that means.

I mean, I don't think I've revealed anything about my colon today. Oh, it was because I said I don't like Vita. Yeah, maybe. You know what? I mean, I'll maybe also done like that many, that much wheat. I do like wheat a bit, you know, not wheat a bit, so. Oh. Oh my God. Okay. How many wait? One, two, three, four, five. Okay, so we're four, four, 41. Oh, they're two up. Oh, man. They think we're doing better. Um, what's going to hurt when those numbers come off? Hey, what do you mean? Well, when those go back down to 341, it's been mindful. Oh, what happened? Hey, there's been an overcount. We've got to do go back into the, um, go to the third umpire or whatever. Oh, what about this soccer mom? Soccer mom. Soccer mom. Hockey cousin. Yeah. Basketball

on the right. You know, Darts brother. Soccer. Soccer grandma. Yeah. Yeah. Footy, footy neighbor, you got sort of long distance running grandma. Let's see, um, uh, uh, pole vault, um, cousin twice removed. Yeah, uh, pole vault pole as well. It's a whole vault. Paul. What about Paul vote vault? Mm. Right. Yeah, okay. But you get a guy you're running like this. Like you were, like, like you've just snatched and grabbed the queen. Yes. You run like you just stole the queen. That's a great thing to side up here.

Boy, you get out there and you run like you just stole the queen. Like that. But you've got a guy called Paul. Yeah, okay. And then you just plop him down and grab his shoulders and he helps. He pushes off the ground. He puts his hands on the ground.

Go, look. As his feet hit the ground, he then goes under your chest and flips you up Like that in the bowl just flip as much as you can yeah, really good. Holy you pull You're both Paul you both pull yeah, so only Paul's gonna Paint I guess I mean I guess everybody's Paul Paul while they're playing. Oh, yeah like that all right Just for the purposes like salmon says you says, you're not like every horse has the same birthday. That kind of thing.

Everybody knows is not true, right? And the Paul's running up with these Paul there. Look at the Paul touches the gray. The Paul pushes off. Yeah. Paul's up in the air. Paul's fuck having done. Oh, Paul's hit the pole.

Yeah. Paul's like, they always hit the pole. Paul is there another third Paul, Paul, who's lying across between two poles. Or those could also be poles. It's an entirely pole-based sport. Yes, I mean it's like that ancient Greek philosopher who thought that everything was water. Everything's Paul. You know, everything's Paul. What about Paul bearers? What if you would eat? But they're just people tolerating Paul. Yeah, I think I saw some of those in the documentary get back. Yeah. Yeah,

Paul's. Can we just write down Paul bearers. Yeah, you're people putting up with Paul's sure You're gonna get those two back I got to get those oh That was good is that I'm purses. Oh, no, no, I don't do puns on purpose. Yeah, I don't think so She's a do stumble on to them all the time. I'm all stumble Be all that drink and you've been doing all. I don't have a bloody stumbling. I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't really don't drink that much. You're a big drinker mate.

Yeah, but after a lot of me, I'm not your doctor mate. I don't, I do a lot of, I do mainly non-drinking days. I know. But I'm like, I know, but sometimes when you get the opportunity comes up. Well, you know what, they changed the many of binge drinking of while back in there. Oh, yeah, so what, oh, I can't have 16 drinks at a day.

Once you get to, if you're bingeing at two, then what's the difference if you do 16? Mm-hmm. Yeah, there needs to be more like, gradiation, okay, give me somewhere to go. Give me some credit for the fact that I'm not drinking, you know, you go into the doctor, you say, how many beers do a day, drink a night, I'll tell you how many beers I don't drink at night.

Yeah. Fourteen. Yeah, I could. I'll leave 14 in the fridge. Yeah. How many do you have? Was that really relevant? Yeah.

The main number here is the ones I don't drink. Why? But it's the beers that you don't drink. I think it's a guy who quits, it's a guy who quits binge Mm-hmm, and then but he's got to figure out what he's gonna binge now Mm-hmm, and he's and he's trying out liquid You know he tries the water. It's just pissing. It's just pissing. There's no benefit You know benefit Drink a lot of water. I think a lot of time if I drink a lot of water. It just makes me feel I regretful

Yeah, I think I think it washes away the joy Maybe I'm not I could be wrong. What about staff though does that has that I mean it has a momentary You know in the first few hours where it helps out. Yeah, yeah, yeah drops off a bit You know what about like water with this soy sauce? Hmm, you know, I don't know if that would help soy water You just need something that you can bend, you know what I mean? That you can just drink a lot of and that makes you feel good. Remember a time that was the only soy that I knew of as a kid, soy sauce. And now a lot of, you get a lot of things in soy form now.

Soy sauce was sort of the one they put out. Yeah, just to get a soy use to the concept. Yeah, and then they're like, well, now soy, we're gonna make soy everything. How are they comfortable with soy and the sauce form? How do you feel about people who call it like soy a milk? Soy, they add the A. I don't like that.

It's not necessary. If we know it is a shorter thing. Soy beans. Yeah, because they're probably, a lot of them are soy beans, but they're probably also known as soy beans. Mm. I think we both know what you're saying.

Yeah, yeah, so then why? Sometimes you go, oh, here's the soya for you, so you're like that. Mm. You slap it out of the hands on it, I mean, I want to. Yeah. I want to go, thank you.

I believe that our next guest is waiting outside. I'm going to go get him. Well, he's watching the YouTube stream. So, I mean, if he wants to come in any time, that would be amazing. Oh, he might be out the front. Oh, outside. There's another code. I'll go get him.

Yeah, oh, okay. Thank you so much. Thanks, sir. Thanks so much for having me. Yeah. Would you like to promote anything? Yeah, I do trivia at your box party. Yeah.

I've done that twice now. I do it Dave Warnocky. Great gig. Fun. I know, probably I do it at your hands tonight. Yeah. Why'd you send me any do's? Mm-hmm.

Any do. Any do. Did you write down that idea about a truly free range chicken? We'd just give him 5050 and just say it. I think that's fantastic. I think it's a really good idea. And he'll come back when he's ready and lay the egg. It's a man chicken, by the way.

Yeah. But I don't feel comfortable with the woman chicken out there. He's talking. Shhh. But I actually feel okay with it. Yeah. Okay. But he is going to lay an egg.

Yeah. Or he's going to just come back with an egg. Mm. Not necessarily going to lay it. He's going to lay an egg. Yeah. Or he's going to just come back with an egg. Not necessarily going to lay it. Oh, he just goes out to collect an egg. Well, it could be. Yeah, I know, that's fantastic. It gets custody of the egg.

Do I need to know who this is? Do I want it to be the juicer? Okay, because just in case there are multiple people out there I want to know who to lay it. Yeah, you cut out the riff riff and you're just sending the... Yeah, yeah. Matthew, thank you so much. Thank you so much for the pleasure of for the pleasure of Spain and what a so many great people in that chat I was enjoying hanging out with a very lucky loss of so many people supporting us

That's really kind and they're being very patient with us. Yeah Also let me in please. That's what usually messaging and the chat. Sorry. Sorry. We forgot to text everybody the door code. Yeah But then once we started everything was just too insane Oh, no, I lost yeah, yeah We're so close Andy. Yeah, there's only 56 left to come up with That's that's only what that's only 10 regular episodes and would only normally takes 10 hours. Yeah That's only what? That's only 10 regular episodes. And it would only normally take 10 hours. Yeah, yeah. So that's good.

Let's see. Harmony. Yeah. Ebony and ivory living in perfect harmony. Yeah. On my piano. I thought of something funny about that recently. Was it like that you wanted like the actual people to sing in notes that always kind of complement each other?

No, I don't know if it was. Okay. But that's interesting. I mean, Stevie Wonder, what an amazing person. Yeah. Yeah. Please welcome her out. Hello, John.

Please welcome Jonathan Schuster. Look at it. Look at it. There's these cover-in. Oh, so much. Yeah, yeah, over there. Hello John, please welcome Jonathan Schuster look at it. This is come again So much Over there To crumble a little yeah, where how many hours in are we? Yeah

16 hours in point to you. We're like a this one. Give up. Yeah, we're trying to get 400 sketch ideas. But you're it sounds like you I'm watching the stream and you're still doing it. Yeah, yeah, it's still happening. We're gonna get there. We're gonna get there's just like getting less fun. Yeah, and we're and we're getting less funny, I think. Yeah, yeah.

The idea is you're getting worse. Do you feel less satisfaction? Yeah. Yeah, lots of polls and they're just less funny, I think. Yeah, the idea is you're getting worse. You feel less satisfaction than age individuals. Yeah, lots of polls and they're just like, yeah. And so, you know, I mean, we're still fine. And we come and we occasionally we have a good, you know, a run of 10 or something like that. Yeah, you're getting more than any. You need a bit of money.

Hey, what's 60 to go? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 66. So it's on the count. There's some listeners. They have the ones pressed in that. 60 to go. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, It'll be fun. Yeah. Yeah. You go anywhere. Hmm you're going anywhere? I'm Yeah, staying. Yeah good. Like your movies about to come out. Yeah, how soon? Well, it's I don't know what move. I don't know what's happening. You put it's gonna It's got a release on the 22nd of October and a Nova yeah then I don't know like I doubt it'll get a cinema release right I don't even know what that is anymore yeah I guess streaming maybe or like

we'll put online like that's cool to have a few notes Nova well it's part of a monster fest okay and then I don't know what happens after that okay you're gonna do any Q&As I can't wait to do Q&A. I think that's really awesome. Talk about making it. Do you know if those are like sold out? Would it be possible to get along to some of the first session sold out? But they've opened up another one. But I want to do a Q&A for that. But there's like a six o'clock, you're on a six thirty one. So I'm going to fight for it. Yeah. You're going to do it like regular Q&A on the ABC, well, there'll be like a couple of liberal politicians.

Yeah, yeah, we've got a couple of angry people. Yeah, great, someone from the Australian. Someone we didn't pay well. Yeah, great. Great, great. And then you could have like maybe you could have like a look McGregor on there or something as well. Like sometimes they do on Q&A.

He isn't he doing comedy and politics? Yeah, yeah. He's gone to a full other level now. You've done a few politics, you've done a few politics shows. That is. Is that like, yeah. You're politics? Yeah.

Oh, it's a mess. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I mean, you just kind of just, it's the same thing. You just make jokes, but you're just finding a very specific topic about it. Yeah, yeah. You try and put in a few big words to like sound a bit smart about it and then you try and put in some silly words to be funny. Funny and dumb.

And that kind of perfect. I see that right ratio of those things and then you can basically coast through. Yeah. Good years. I'm excited to be having something both for a while. Yeah. Yeah. You don't want me to think of any sketches. No, no, you don't bring anything. We just will just do it, you know. Just see what comes up. Well talking to, I just went to Jordan Bios birthday, have a birthday Jordan. Happy birthday Jordan. And I was like, you're riding 400 today and I was

like in my career. I've written like 30. Yeah, but we're not riding. We're just coming up with a topic. It's a very important 100. I'm gonna do like pants for your arms. Yeah, that's not the right. The carrot one was fun. Yeah, a long carrot. A big, long carrot.

Yeah, you know, like what about like jump rope as a motor transport? You know, look about this like you're just like you're like like skipping. Yeah, but like maybe like I don't know Then would there be like one really like if the bus comes along is it like people with like a really big rope and everybody has to hop There's two people on the bank. You're talking about like a jump rope bus. You jump in the middle. Yeah, and you're jumping along I mean if you're jump roping as a mode of transport, you need to make it just wider, right? Instead, to fit more kids in. Yeah, I mean, I hadn't even figured out how a single person

would do. I assumed you were just jumping along, jumping a rope. But if you thought there could be something more, if there could be, like, are you turning a couple of, actually, there's not really something more. If there could be, like, are you turning a couple of, um, actually, there's not really any more. Right? Are you, are you, like, skipping, but you actually turn on the wheels? Yeah, you're turning a couple like, uh, like, uh, cranks. Okay. Um, and, and those are turning some, some big, uh,

oh, this is big, great wheels. But there a crank, there's a wheel on each of them. And on the wheel, there's a little leg that goes down to the ground, right? So when you turn it, that leg goes down, lifts you up, okay, you turn it around, and then it drops you down a little bit further forward, right? This is like crutches. It's like walking.

It's like a wheelchair. Are you ever you invented a wheelchair? I've never done it. It doesn't have a wheelchair. It would legs. But with legs. Yeah. You do with your hands like this. You're walking along. Yeah. I think that's really cool. How do you describe it?

Because I can't picture it. I call it the hand walker. Yeah. But what is it? So what is it? What is it that you're doing? So you're turning two cranks. So you're standing on a little platform.

Yeah. There's two pieces of two rods that come up on the side. There's a crank that's basically like a bicycle pedal, but without the pedal. And then that's connected to two wheels. And now attach the outside of those wheels to basically legs, right? Straight post that goes down with a foot on the bottom. I realized why I couldn't follow this the first time. It's just it's too technical at the moment.

You've got one leg a bit higher I guess on the wheel and one lower so as you turn it. Oh it's a nice one leg at a time. Yeah, great. Waddle leg along. Yeah, really good. What a wheel. Did you bully people who are leg walkers? Yeah, a leg walker. Yeah, that's right.

That's right. That's right, leg walker. Like, just, but you're going right way slower. Yeah. And you're kind of going like this, like, like, just really unpleasant. All your organs are smashing against the side of your ribs and stuff like that.

Yeah, great. I like that. Yeah, what are those people who have sticker on their really bad car that says my other car is a Porsche. I don't think people are doing this anymore, but remember they used to be a thing. Yeah, I think I was one of them last week. Right. You saw one last week.

I think so. Wow. My other car is a Ferrari or something. Oh, yeah. And it was fun. Yeah, I bet. I bet. I bet it felt good. I love a sticker.

Maybe I'll get one of those. Yeah. A sticker on a car really sums up a person, doesn't it? Yeah. Somebody gave me a sticker the other day to put on my car, and it just felt so, it felt like such a difficult decision. Make sure whole identity, and everyone sees it. Yeah. Yeah. put on my car and it just felt so, it felt like such a difficult decision.

Make your whole identity and everyone sees it. Yeah, yeah, I'm not a big one. But where were you going with it? Is it feel like a tattoo or something? It feels like a tattoo. It feels like I have to then be judged based on the things. Because I'm never going to get around to taking this off, right? And also you wash your car so you're already damaging the sticker when you do it.

Yeah, I mean, they should make stickers that stick front side up on the other side so I can get wet. Yeah and you maybe you could have a sticker on there that says my other sticker is a sticker that's on the inside of the car. My other sticker is a is a priceag that's on a CD case. Yes. That I haven't taken off because they always leave so much residue. It actually ends up looking nicer to just leave the sticker on. And what it was like to buy CDs.

What about this? It says, my other car has really funny bumper stickers on it. My other car is a Porsche, and the bumper stickers on that are hilarious. My other sticker is on my apples. I don't know. Oh, that's good. I don't know.

Yeah, yeah. I'd be great. You buy a bag of golden delicious apples, right? And the little stickers on all of those that says, my other apple is a Fuji. Great. Or maybe a pink lady. Yep, Jonathan.

A Jonathan. Yeah, a lot. Now, my other apple is a Jonathan. Yeah, other. Yeah. Other than cars, my other interest is stickers. I think this is a great character. I don't come up with a lot of character.

But it's a guy who's really insecure about the quality of the apples that he eats. So he's in the workplace eating a red delicious. Yeah. Right? But he's worried. He's like, he's trying to like, he thinks everybody's noticing. He's eating a red delicious and he's trying to sort of pass it off. He's like, I'm normally a jazz guy. Yeah.

Who put this red delicious in my bed? Who put this red delicious in here? I don't normally eat these. You know, maybe the sticker got on the wrong thing. Not that I can't tell the difference between the apples just by looking at them. I would have known. But maybe it was, you know, in amongst them.

And I, you know, I check the apples. I think being insecure about the any any like anything like that yeah yeah I mean a guy with the sticker bumper sticker and this is my other car's a Porsche and then he's at the lights and he sees somebody's eyes in the review mirror in the car behind him look at the sticker and he's like He goes gets out of the car. Yeah, and he's like I just want you to know that that's my wife put the sticker on the car And actually I don't believe in having I don't think it's a funny sticker. Yeah

But I just I saw you reading the sticker. Yeah, and I thought you didn't you didn't look like you were laughing And I just want you know, I don't think it's funny. Yeah, I think it's funny. Yeah Anyway All right I'll sleep. Yeah, it gets back in his car look. I'm gonna What about a guy who gets the stickers off off? Fuji Apple I'm gonna get it, make sure. I get the stickers off the Pink Lady Apples,

he puts them on the red delicious, when he brings them into work. Or he keeps a bunch of Pink Lady stickers at home. Yeah. That's the monies, honey's Apple's, try and make it look like he's got a more expensive Apple. What are the two closest looking apples

that you couldn't, the really good question? Oh, there's a few at the moment where like the pink ladies kind of look like. Is it Jonah Gold? Have you seen this one? Jonah Gold? Oh, I've seen it. Jonah Gold.

What's the deal? Yeah, there are some. I think it's, I think it's, must be like a cross between a Jonathan and a golden, delicious, golden delicious. Surely not. It's quite yellow inside. Gold-ish. Yeah. Inside. Yeah, you know It's quite yellow inside. Gold-ish.

Yeah. Inside. Yeah. You know, like it's a more yellow-y. Yeah, yeah. You know, you get that spectrum of like what's it with? I feel like a yellow apple is an old apple. You know, when they turn yellow after a while, I feel like most of them in your body

are in a pretty white. Yeah. I don't know if that's true. I don't think that's right. Really? Yeah, yeah. I think some apples are a bit more yellowy inside. Like, I'm not talking like yellow yellow. What is definitely like out of the inside of a blueberry.

Oh, that's a kind of like mushy, almost purpley gray or something, right? What are you right? It's yet white. I try to get you out and be like, oh, I know what's a blueberry for the nut. Then the guy, oh, thank you very much, Nick Bowers. Oh.

But thank you very much. Thank you. And then the, wait, then the guy, he's about to get back into his car. And then he goes, unless he thought it was funny. Yeah. Did you think it was funny? Sorry, just when I was getting back in my car, I saw you laughing. Yeah.

And I wasn't sure. Were you laughing then? Did you get the joke on the sticker? Or were you laughing at me for coming back and talking about it? Because I didn't actually, I didn't know what you got. I am actually trying to be funny. I actually am being funny. I'm doing this as a bit.

Yeah, as a joke. So yeah, I'm glad you're laughing. Yeah. But if you're laughing at the bumper stick, I'll tell my wife because it was her idea. Then he goes and sits back in the car a bit longer. He's still not driving on He's just the lights Like he's just sitting there. Yeah. Yeah

That was all the EJ. Oh, thank you very much. What is the best sandwich? What is the best sandwich? Of course, that's when you're That's big that's when any sandwich that you're given by your love. Yeah, that's when you're, that's when, it's any sandwich that you're given by your love. Yeah, that's when, of course, on one side, or a penny. You're hugging, you know, you're beloved, and on the other side, you're hugging your children. So, I was trying to, thank you very much.

Really nice. Yeah. And if it's not that, then maybe like a Rubin, or like a smoked meat sandwich from Montreal, or something like that, I'm becoming a real Canada guy now off that and maybe look a Rubin or like a smoked meat sandwich from Montreal, or something like that. I'm becoming a real Canada guy now. So I start talking to you. You're a crazy.

You're cranking the cat in the back up, trotting that. It's like it's almost been like a part of my identity. I've been like, I know I sound very Canadian, but it's like I try to not play it up in any way. And now I'm like, I'm actually becoming, and I'm gonna have to start playing up the Australian band. Yeah, I know I'm like, I know I sound... And I'm going to have to start playing up the Australian thing.

And then I'm like, I know I sound like this, but I'm actually a very... My friend, I've known him for years. He came back to Australia for a little while, and he said, you know what, we're Australian to obsessed with. We're obsessed with food that tastes... That's trying to be other food. Because there's a pie shop and they all had chicken, butter chicken pies, all of our chips,

hot dog flavored chips. Everything is like, why don't you just have normal, why every food trying to be like other food? Well, that's very interesting. We're not happy with what we've got. Right? Like, yeah, and you can get, you know, you're read rock deli chips and so on,

like this one's teriyaki chicken chips It's golden new apples. Yeah, with the normal apples, please Yeah, mate. Don't put gold in it. Yeah, I mean what is that? You know is it because we're just like Indecisive as people and we're like oh look. I want to get a pie, but you know Maybe I want a curry I can get this pie that's a curry and then I like you know, I won't feel like I have Failed in any way. I won't have to make a decision in a way Maybe that helps be a void thinking about death. I remember you know, maybe what about the hot dog chips, you know You kind of failing both and there

Hmm. It's pretty I Don't know. Yeah, it's just somebody. I mean really I think what's happening is that they're just aiming for anything that you'll go I'll try that once like that just to get you to buy chips. What, I mean what if you're a successful career woman? Yeah. And you're doing an interview for a hot magazine. Yeah. And they're talking, they're asking you.

How is it hot? How is it hot? A actionable, actionable, I see. Okay, and they're tall. How is it hot? How is it hot? A actionable. A actionable, yeah. Okay, yeah, it's not like a... It's not a temperature hot. No, but it's also not spicy hot. Yeah, it's not like chili.

Flavored magazine. But in Australia, we would love that. We would love this chili magazine. Yeah, yeah. This magazine is also a curry. Yeah, that's right, yeah. I mean, this could be the thing. It's a hot dog flavored magazine.

We also like things that aren't foods that are all like with the perfume and the magazine. Oh, we always love it. But then having like just like a cheese and bacon pie thing. Yeah. Mm. Yeah.

But they're asking you in this interview, how you have it all, right? Because that's always the question. How do you have it all? Do you believe in having it all? And you're like, well, you know, firstly, whenever I go to a pie shop, I always get a pie that's a chicken curry pie. And that way, I'm like, I'm already 100% closer to having it all

than I was before. If I was just getting a pie or just getting a chicken curry, at some time and a half by double food. Double food, yeah. That down. That way. Wait Double food, yeah, that down. Wait, wait, wait, what is it? It's just how to have it all. Yeah, okay, yeah.

Successful career women. I mean, there might be a funny format. Wait. But it's like, maybe it's an advice column for women who want to have it all. When you're buying a pie, do this. And then you're doing two things. You're that much closer to having it all. But then if you get a cheese buying a pie, do this. And then you're doing two things. You're that much closer to having it all. Yeah, yeah.

But then if you look, if you get a cheese and bacon pie over a beef, well, the bacon is blocked breakfast, and the beef is like lunch. Yes. Now, and the cheese, well, you could say that that's dinner. Mmm. And you've had all your meals. Cheese, you could say that's dinner.

You could say anything. Mmm. Why wouldn't you say the pie is the dinner? And the cheese is the lunch. That seems much more plausible. Sure, yeah, like just the pie. It's like a plowman's lunch. Yeah, plowman's, what's a plowman?

A plowman's lunch is just like a bit of bread, a bit of cheese, and a bit of meat, like a bit of sausage. What a plowman do? They plow the field. They think plow. They'd be out there plowing and they take this with them. They just have cheese and bread and what was the third

thing? A bit of meat like a bit of sausage or something. Why is that just not a sandwich? Cheese and bread. Yeah, but they don't put it into the bread. They're all next to each other. Yeah, and they're hanging out. That's an open sandwich. And then they eat everything with a knife and they cut off a piece of bread and then they cut off a piece of cheese Yeah, and then they they might put them together, but not bread on either side There's no structure like that. I like a date constructed sandwich. No, what a plowman should do He should take the piece of bread and then he should cut a thing right through the middle Oh, then he should then he should plant the Sausage in there and then cover it up with cheese

Yeah, like that and that's a plow and sludge or a lunchman's plow. Okay, how to have it all having a curry pie? Have it to curry pie for the successful career woman start with a curry pie. You're already twice as successful as anybody who's just having one of those things separately. But I think it could be a whole philosophy. Yeah. You know, you turn your family life into your business life. Everything is combined, everything is...

You've ever seen that culture that eats those eggs that have like a baby chicken and like that? I have heard about this and it makes me so hard. in that way, it's like you're having breakfast, but you also have a child. So you get to have a kid. In a way, it's like you're having breakfast, but you're also eating a baby bird. Ha, ha, ha.

And so it's a bit like being a cat. So you've got that kind of like, like, more of a kind of like, you know, hanging chill lifestyle. It's like, you know, you've actually had a small child. It's like, you've actually had a small child. And you know what's like having a small child, it's quite difficult, especially when they're a bird and you're having to eat it.

And you're having to eat it. And you're having to eat it. Yeah, it's a little bone. Yeah, it's a little bone, it's a little bone in your mouth. Okay, so how about the sheaths that? Yes. And then she's talking with another, with another business woman,

the thing, who's a young mother. And they're talking about having children. Okay, she goes, yeah, it feels like she's like, yeah, it's so dull, they're not sleeping that well. She goes, well, I'm sleeping okay. My iPhone, it's really difficult. When you got their bones in your mouth. It's gonna be a mouth, and actually, you're not that sweet.

And the beat in their beak is good. And she's like, what? And she's like, oh, sorry, I thought you were talking about eating baby birds. I guess I've got baby brain. You know how it is. It's like when you're just, you gotta have an abut. Like that, I mean, I have a,

when you've just had a baby, sorry, eating a baby bird. I don't want to confuse you again. I just had a baby. And I am full. Those things are filling. All right. Can you write that down? I just had a baby. And those things are filling.

Yeah, that's like that one. I love children. Right, that down. Okay, wait. So, like, as a separate sketch? Yeah, it's a separate sketch. Do you? Isn't that the same as the children we were just making?

Oh, maybe, yeah. Your children, did you get to eat the placenta? I think Indiana had the placenta by somebody come, you can come and dry it out and you can take it as tablets. Yeah. And so she was doing that. I don't think that there's any real benefit, but also it wasn't down to me.

Yeah, you're not allowed to be like darned. Yeah, I think, you know, if there's like iron in it and things like that, in the end, that's just getting, you know, a source of iron from and the end of the set, like the end of the set. That's a good job. In a person who goes, goes, Very strong, strong, strong, strong. If you go there and people are just handing you placentas every day. And you wouldn't know. Would you? You wouldn't know what a placenta is in the cap.

That's right. Yeah. Give them anything. I mean, I mean, she could be like, you know, I think like there could be a bit of a, you know, black market or whatever. She could be like selling some placentas to the building, you know, body builders or whatever they love anything. You could have a nibble of a new placenta every day, lives forever. Yeah, that's right. It's starting. She could be like, just like squirt and placenta into her mouth,

like that, whatever's bringing it out. That she tries it out, sucks at juice out. Yeah. Yeah, and especially like, I guess if she presents as a very kind of like wholesome kind of a you know healthy like Oh, well, it's gonna be the best you know Mom I'm a thing then she can really hide the part where she has like blood on her face and she's squeezing

You know the last of the like really good placental food Wanted like that like like then wrestling it like hitting it against the wall with her teeth like that I think that's fun. I mean I think she's almost kind of a comedy character. You're like, you know. When a dog's doing that to something, what can you write in the dead? That's great. Yeah. Yeah. Well, it'd be really good if you could like, you want to eat the placenta, but you want to give it a fighting chance, right? So you tie it to the back of a kangaroo or something like that and then you try and chase it. And you chase the kangaroo.

I'm catching it. You get it on the kangaroo. Well, you've got to catch the kangaroo first. You've already caught the kangaroo once, so you know it's possible. So it's not even that you're like the indigenous American thing where they kind of like yell to just let it know, let them know that you're coming.

Oh, really? To give it a chance. Yeah, that's good. But this percent you're actually putting it on another animal and traumatizing another creature in this. Mm-hmm. Like that and then you're jumping on its back and giving that plus to any big animal. Yeah, when dogs are doing that to like the court like a rabbit or something and they're shaking it around, you know, they call that worrying. I did not. He's worrying the rabbit. Yeah, right, but it's not.

You look at it and you're like, yeah, that would be worrying. I mean, but it's like, it's just like snap, it's not snap, it's not a fear, right? It's such an ingrained thing to just be like, change direction so fast, like that, so the things just flick like that and just snap. Yeah, I love flipping around and I hate dry them. So, it's shaken. Yeah. I think it, I've... They're built to sort of flick and shaken for real quick, no arms, I guess.

Yeah, I guess you don't have arms. And you're running at everything face first. How is, I think, must be insane, just be like, yeah, this is what I'm using this to stop. Like, if my legs fail, this thing is like, poor. I mean, we might have talked about this on the pod before, but the idea that we are like one of the few animals

that can stop it, self-from smashing its face on things. Like we have the option of like, and our face is quite a long way back, relative to our body and our motion. It's not so much a head first propulsion, like it is for almost every other creature. That is fascinating. Yeah, it is really fascinating. That's what I've never thought about it. Oh, you know, I think about it. I know, maybe a moose with the antlers, but you still bang in your head. Yeah, you're still head first,

really. I mean, you know, you've got the other primates, I suppose. Yeah, that cheating. Yeah, that is cheating. I guess the benefit of having your head at the front is also when you're being chased and your head is at the furthest part away from the thing that's behind you. That's true as well. I hadn't thought about that as a negative side to this.

Yeah, so then our head is kind of like, well, as soon as they catch it, they've got everything. Or it's like once they catch the back of a moose, I still got to make it all the way to the front of the moose. I could shake those off. Yeah, and you got the antler, I guess, so there in case something like a wolf gets on your back

and then it's like, I'm going to get your neck and you can just go like this. And they go good kicking back to the fun one. I love to have that power kick in back a moose they're they're huge. They're like they're like bigger than a campervan. Really? Yeah. It's kind of a boy coming back out. Yeah, exactly. Oh man, maple syrup on a moose. They're like it's insane. Yeah, it's they make they make a cow looking like it. Megaforn are you reckon? Oh, definitely. Yeah.

Yeah. That's one of those things where I've been like, I've started to go, I gotta appreciate that we have, you know, like, you know, like, you could sometimes you're like, I wish we had seen the giant wombat, whatever like that. There are some, there's so, like,

whales are megafauna. Yeah, they're real like, we're like, they're here right now, appreciate the megafauna you have Right stop thinking about the big animals that you don't have and technically they consider stuff like kangaroos to be megafauna Hmm, ooh like like biologist were we're technically megafauna human to megafauna. Yeah, no Not how wait tiny. Hey, I know but we're big compared to a lot of other stuff. Yeah. Bugs. Yeah, that's true.

Yeah. You know, bugs are also falling, aren't they? Yeah, because they're not flora. No, not unless they reduce cholesterol. Good flora. That's right. Flora. Yeah, yeah.

I mean, there must be a bug that reduces some cholesterol, maybe. I'm sure there's a bug that reduces cholesterol. Yeah? Yeah, I guarantee it to you. Is it bug that reduces cholesterol? Is it by eating it or it goes through your body and takes your cholesterol? The bug crawls through your body and gets collects the cholesterol. But what about this?

Electrol. Let's say you go see a doctor. Yeah, like a type one, would you? Yeah. Take one. What about this? They go, hey, your cholesterol is really high. It's putting you at a huge risk of having a heart attack.

Now, you could do lots of exercise, and you could change your diet and stop eating cheese and stop eating like, you know, all the world over the fuck. It did not. Right. And they go, or you can get a worm that just in a bug, one worm, one worm.

One worm. They all right under your skin all over the place, but they'll lead all the cholesterol. Yeah. And it'll be fine, but as long as you just keep them in there, but don't crawl all the time, they'll never really stop moving. They'll sleep sometimes. Yeah. Can they sleep together, curled up?

Yeah, yeah. I really like that. It makes me feel like they're in the Wild West, and it's like a horse, a man in his horse. But they got to find each other Oh, well It's a different end. So sometimes like one the worm will be up here like that and then you really Feel that it really real feel the bug on the back of yours You know small your back like that and it's like we're it's looking for you. You can't hear it yell

But you know Like a scarab it'll you can sort sort of like pop it up a bit. Oh yeah. Just pop them down. Yeah, yeah, you could just lead them to each other. And then you see them curl up and then go to sleep like that. That's so nice. And you can hear them.

But then you're going to change your diet or your lifestyle. It's a boring work. Yeah, I think it's great. I think it's like, you know, I think that the cane toad made us, like, probably took a lot of the wind out of our sales in terms of that bio-control of things like that. But I think it's time to get back on the bio-control train. And yeah, I think, you know, body full of bugs. Yeah, I think the fact also that it's just one of it.

Don't have to change your lifestyle. That's the benefit. Don't have to change your lifestyle one of it. Don't have to change your lifestyle. That's the benefit. You don't have to change your lifestyle. No, you're gonna change about your lifestyle. Sometimes it like you'll be talking to somebody and look like a bug is just cool. Yeah, sometimes the worm poaks is head out from under your arm. Yeah, it's like the antenna come out. Yeah. And it's like, you know, at the nose and it comes out and it goes and breeds and then comes back in. I think this would be a great thing to see at the Oscars, because this is sort of what happened with this

impact, right? Suddenly, everyone at the Oscars was like extra skinny. People were making jokes about and stuff. When we were all like, what's going on with this thing? What are people talking about, right? But you watch the Oscars, everyone's looking fantastic. But just like some of the hosts and some of the shots to the close-ups in the audience,

you can see the bugs calling around under the skin. Yeah. I mean, I feel like this is probably what it's like to watch the Oscars if you're an insane person. Right, you feel like you can see that stuff anyway. You can see bugs under people's skin. Yeah. Yeah. To make you healthier, but you don't have to change

your life stuff. Yes. Having come on. Because I mean, that does ampego whatever. They say it doesn't just make you lose weight It kind of like makes you like lose joy and think yeah lose interest in food and like you're like you just like you find food kind of Discussed things like that. And so that's like it feels like it's a real trade off Yeah, but I mean I find kind of food kind of disgusting and I just doesn't stop me in the slightest

Yes, so you think you'd be on this stuff? Yeah, like that. Every day. You'd still just be shoving it. Yeah, shoving it, like the repulsive, like I said, I wanted to go to eat it. I don't even enjoy this. I don't wanna eat this.

It's like, but you're on the medication clear, you wanna stop eating. I don't, I think the more disgusting I find it, the more I try. Oh, maybe. But the more food you feed it, the fat the more I try. Oh, maybe. But the more food you feed it the fat of the bug gets. Oh, yeah. Oh, eventually the bug.

I'm sorry. It's like, you're mostly bug. Yeah, like the man in black guy. Oh, I love that guy. I want that guy to get his own spin-off movie. Yeah, Edgar. Edgar, your skin fall Sugar in water one two three four five six seven many times have you gone to the

How many how many have you been I know? Pressive I know impressive Three wait no, I think it's 3.49 3.49 oh man Oh you know, that's a bad. That's good. I mean, you know, it's now starting to get later than I was hoping. Um, but I mean, like, you know, because when we had, when we had some pace, I was like, we're going to get this done, but I also knew it's going to slow down at some point.

I think the clock I saw you at 336 or something. I'd like, they may not even need me. Yeah. Fuck, was that how? Yeah, it's been like four hours. You've done like 12. Oh my god and it's like we're back to like old times since everything just takes so long. We'll do some quick one. Yeah we're gonna do five while you come. Yeah exactly we're gonna go like uh so let's see uh you

go to uh you go to a hardware store and uh and you're like and and then the guy just keeps calling you a pussy. You're trying to buy it just like a hand axe, I just want to chop some fire. I want to get a big one. I don't think I need it. It's more efficient, gonna get more done more time than that kind of thing. You know, I'll be positive with little handaxe. You go, oh yeah.

Okay, yeah. All right, well, maybe I'll get the thing, you go, get the fucking two handed ax, once you get the chance, or, I'll tell you, you can get a, you know, long. I'm selling. Yeah, like that. Yeah.

You go. Handaxe, I'm like,, fucking big hand, all that. That's for money, girls, but else. Yeah. Like that. And then you're like, oh, just, I don't think I have the money for everything. Okay, you don't have the money, mate.

You don't have the money to not buy it. And you're gonna look, what industry you're working? You know, oh, just like, I don't know. I'm a mailman, he goes, not for long. I'm with a fucking, I got nothing. Oh no, he keeps up selling and to get him into, to get him into hardcore. Yeah, he's, like a, like a, like a tractor,

and just like, yeah. Just one of those ones that just grabbed the tree, strips all its branches, and it's like that and then take that. That's a thing I had a friend she worked at Wendy's and like the ice cream place and there is a thing in upselling and using masculinity to upsell that's it like a tactic they use so you have small medium and large and she said they would only ever offer small Or large to the men and she said a hundred percent of the time always bludge Don't give them the option of the medium. I got a big dick. Yeah, they're like right. They should call it

Girls boys and men is the sizes. Yeah, so there is something in upselling Yeah, you know, well, you're married, yeah, yeah, you won't be for long if you get the hug and hand, X, the wolf's gonna leave you. You need to get the big fucking thing, the tractor with the strips, the wool, yeah, wow. That cuts it up, nice.

So, and is this guy just like, I don't know much of the setup, but is he just like getting it for just like his domestic block or something like that? Yeah, I just want to just want the chopstick. Chippling. Chippling is the right thing he comes up with this enormous dream-procise, interesting tractor. They just got a little hedge out the front that they're getting taken down.

Yeah. And then the wife comes out and she's like, he didn't make you feel insecure about this again. No, it's a little one. No, I wanted it. This is actually going to be a lot more efficient. Yeah, this will be good. Yeah, I think that's a really good. You know, and then maybe we see like,

she sighs and goes back inside. We see like parked in the driveway. All the other things that he's bought every time he's gone down there. Yeah, he's got some sort of industrial boring machine. Yeah, it's the Goddard. And he's like, oh shit, we need a bit of hose. Can you go by that? Yeah, yeah, great.

But then she comes back, right? Yeah. And what kind of, what has she been pressured into buying in her attempt to purchase some normal garden hose? If you, you're trying up sell a woman coming into your hose department. Yeah. Your, is it bejeweled?

I mean, that's basic, isn't it? That's basic shit. I mean, she could come back. Is it bejeweled? I mean that's basic isn't it that's basic shit. Um, you know, I mean she could come back Is it furry? Okay, the the hose is it a furry hose? It's crazy that he would even have that Yeah Do you think this the phrase if I were to tell you the furry hose? Yeah, it sounds sexual. Yeah, yeah But you can't pinpoint exactly what it would be

Yes Yeah, yeah, yeah. But you can't pinpoint exactly what it would be. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You think it's a furry hose? Ah, the pose isn't that fair. No, I think the most of the hose. I mean, a guy who just has a wolf dick. Mm-hmm.

You think he's like a wolf man, but it's just his dick? Well, you know, I mean, I think he's like all the moose. It's just because they saw his dick. Right. And he just... That wolf fan with all the hair. Yeah, all the hair on his face from like Mexico or whatever. Yeah, they saw him, I'm really pleased, believe it. The face match, the...

Oh, yeah. Yeah, and he's just got completely bald down here. Oh, well, no, actually. It looks like a 12-year-old, what if I hadn't looked at it? That's funny. We were like, what can we upsell to women? And we're like now talking about wolf man. Yeah.

And of course. Um, yeah, what's we up sell to women? And we're like, now talking about Wolfman. Yeah. And the... Um, yeah, what's the feminine hose? I mean, yeah, I think the idea is like that. Like, what is he gonna sell to her? And he's gonna make her feel insecure. Hmm. You know, I don't know, but like... I don't know enough about what the experience of shopping is like for women.

Because I think if it's a man, really the reality is that a woman goes into a hard-west door and the chances are she's getting really condescending treatment from the man who's just telling her she doesn't know what she wants or like that the host is choosing is bad or whatever and being generally unhelpful and condescending. And maybe suggesting that she should be getting her husband to buy the host. Yeah, or what about if she just comes back and then she's with the man, the man who was trying to upsell. Wow. And he's like, yeah, we're dating now. Yeah, and he's like, yeah, we're dating now. Yeah, okay. I upsold her.

Yeah. And then he's like, you're moving out, you're gonna be moving into the guest room. Cause that's the upsell, isn't it? So you're like, you come in to buy a hose, he upsells you. Yeah. Why would you buy a hose when you can date the guy

who's in charge of the hose department? That's true, yeah. That's right. Why would you? And he said, I suppose I'll move out in the, the husband is, I guess I'll be moving out of the bedroom. And he goes, no, no, you'll be starting. I'm starting in the wild.

And you'll be watching your little pussy. Oh, no. It's that host guy. Yeah. The guy goes and sits in his big tree-dropping tractor and just looks sad. He's the sad little man. Let's say hello there. He goes, hello, and he's sleeping in the tree, in the tree, lopper.

Yeah, because I'm going to go to work. I'm going to go sleep in the lopper, honey. Yeah. The lopper. Times are tough. I've been sleeping in the lopper. Yeah. My wife is upset with me,

she's just a separate sketch of her hair. I'm in the dog house at the moment. And it's really cool. And then you go, then it's a house shaped like a dog. Shaped like a dog that's awesome, actually. It's really cool. You go in through the mouth like that. And there's a slot at the button like that.

What about this? You're talking to your mate, you say, oh, I'm in the dog house with the misses at the moment. Right? But you're both in there together. Yeah. It's a big house shaped like a dog. It's really good.

It's really good. You both are very happy. It's so in love. We are so in love. Yeah. Like, la la la la la la la. Yeah, really in love. That's so nice.

What about this, right? We know that when times are tough, people have to sleep in their cars. What about times are tough? I've been having to park my car inside another car. Now, it's not that you can't afford a house, but you can't afford a garage. And you're parking your car inside another car. So that's right. Instead of you sleeping in a car, you're carzing a car.

So the car... Um... LAUGHTER And... Do I have a sticker? Say, my other car is my garage. The parking garage? Yeah.

Yeah. By other... Um... By other car is a garage. My other garage is a real garage. I'm the one so bad my car sleeping in a car. I mean that's what I'm trying. But it doesn't, it's nothing. What are these car pets?

Car pets. Yes, it's just a pet that lives in your car. So we just went whenever you get, oh, pets don't do well in cars, do they? They don't like to eat. It's what they do, yeah. I mean, some of those huntsmen can see. Oh, I do, yeah. They're so nervous.

I know the scariest fact the other day. Oh, I'm not gonna deal with this, I don't think. So every time, I'm shivering already. You, the cops, they're just sometimes. What happened is, you know, when there's a car accident and people are on the side of the road, they look at all the skid marks, they look at like blood alcohol content of the person,

they look at like where the car went off the road to determine what happened and occasionally they're just like, they were sober, they were just a sudden turn and then like spider, they just go like, they just ran and death and they were spider fell down, dead, my biggest fear. Fucking hell. Sorry.

They say huntsmen can't kill you, but they can. They can. Yeah. And that's one of their tactics. They're doing that on purpose. They know exactly what they're doing. Yeah. Sometimes, sometimes that happens.

And you actually run off the road. You knock over like a big, you know, like a, like a termites nest, and inside is some ancient gold. And actually people, they, they, survive and they become very rich. So it's not always a negative thing. Yeah, with a spider situation. Yeah. So the police come, they see the, they see, yeah, let's see if I can get this to work. They see the skid marks, they see the car skid it off the road, they see the broken termite mount,

they see the person with a big pile of gold, they're holding the gold throwing it up in the air, dancing, right? They look at the blood out the whole world. That's normal, they, spider. Spider again, like that. You know, not all miracles are good. Not all spider-related car accidents are bad.

Yeah. Same thing. It's like, somebody ends up running into a building. Yeah. It's only that they've got a brand new job. Hang on, when you say somebody's running into a building, now, is this like the end of a marathon and they just run off the road that in through the stadium? I don't actually think enough about it.

Oh, I think they're all in the house. They're running it to a building. Yeah. I think just saying, look, spiders can be more dangerous than anything, but also they can be much more beneficial than you could think. Is there a set of a funny idea? Yeah, I don't think so too. Yeah, they don't tell you any of the happy stories

about people who got car crashed off the road because of spiders. What about this interpretation of my sleeping in a car thing? Things are so going so well, my car is sleeping in my house. I'm parking my car in the living room. No, I'm parking my car in the bedroom. That's how well things are doing.

That's good. That's good. You're, you're, you're, how's big enough for a driveway into it. Into the bedroom. Yeah. Well, you're sleeping in the garage again. Yeah.

Oh, that is a, yeah, you're, you're sleeping in the garage. Lucky spiders. Is that the ones that you kill? The little red ones? Yeah. I haven't seen one in a while. Yeah. That's a good sign, isn't it? I love the insects all dying. I feel so great and relaxed about it.

Yeah. Really calm. My house is... I haven't seen a spider in my house for a while either. Well, I've also... I've only just started really seeing spiders in my house. And a few conquerors of a period? Oh, that brings me hard. But I don't see a lot of moths, and that makes me really stressed out. Yeah, yeah, great, great, great.

Well, you use it. I use it. You like seeing moths? I love seeing moths. Yeah. Yeah. They're the scariest, flappy... Not even slightly.

No, they're coming. I mean, not even slightly. I think it's kind of like, it's a bit spooky to have dust on your wings. Right, well, okay. Like, that's not like a beautiful- What if the Androids had that quick growth? Eh?

How would you feel if Aera Plains had that? Yeah, I mean, I don't think I would like it. Ah, okay. Yeah. Why, you think that's a good way to go about planes that would obviously be better with dust on their wings? We love wing dust. Yeah.

Oh. What if Aera Plains had like a moth wings? If our planes would obviously be better with dust on me. We love wing dust. Yeah. What if error planes had like a moth wings? They flap them really. And they move in this really and say, where everybody's going to lose. They're all over the sky. And they will fly towards lights. Yeah, towards the moon. Towards the moon, no.

Yeah. Because I mean, what is the idea? They fly towards the moon then what? Like they meet up with other moths in the air? Yeah, when do they stop flying towards the moon? When do they know? That's enough moon. When it turns dark.

It's close to the moon. Yeah, it goes to day and then like I was like, I don't think so. I'll just glide back down. That's my idea for a joke is that like, waths will fucking... These guys like might... That wait till they hear about the day. They are gonna love that. Mmm.

It might be my turn to go to the toilet again. If you have ideas, write them down. It's your time. It's your time of the month. 50, 51, 52, 53. 53. Oh, man. Yes.

Oh. This is a lot of responsibility. Good thing you're on the big screen, isn't it? Yeah. Yeah, I've been looking at myself a lot of responsibility. It's a good thing you're on the big screen, isn't it? Yeah, yeah, I've been looking at myself a lot, actually, almost in the entire time, I would say. It's hard not to. It's hard, but it looks good. How's the hair looking there? Let's go.

It's fun. How are you going? It's a good thing I you going? I get it. It's good that I'm getting a bit of a loan time with you, though. Yeah, that is. We like to do that. You know, in case, well, especially if you want to say anything about Alistair, what is not here?

I don't get anything off your chest. Do I have any grievances with him? The Canada stuff is going away. Yeah, I'm not completely okay with it. But Canada stuff is going away. Yeah, I'm not, you know, completely okay with it, but you can do, you know, if you talk like that, you've got to go to the motherland at some point. Yeah, and probably refresh the tank of Canadianness or something like that. Do you know where in Canada are you going? Probably Montreal, I think. I think that's where he's from. Montreal I think I think that's where he's from yeah the French bit yeah I went there once and they hated me they didn't like that I didn't speak French and I

and I when you travel you can be like I'm Australian and they didn't care yeah they hated me did you like that a little bit I'm not I'd boy at the best of time. That's fun, yeah. Did you do any standup over there? Not in Montreux, only there for a day. Right. I was just kind of the traveling around. Yeah. Went up the mountain. Rayao.

Okay. That was the first time I genuinely thought it like what temperature do people die? It was really so cold. Yeah. Were you prepared? No, not really. Yeah. All we would do it at night.

Being a friend was like it's one of you like mission, you know, it's one of you travel goals. Do you used to have a stand up bit about hypothermia? No. Yeah, right. I love it. It's a good... I don't remember the bit, but I just, like, something just pinged in my brain about like,

just, you used to have a bit about hypothermia about getting really cold and, like, it makes you want to take your clothes off or something like, no, I've heard that. Yeah. That's interesting, isn't it? But someone, you've heard someone say a bit about that I feel like maybe I have yeah, but I couldn't tell you what it is or That's weird isn't that it is weird it's a weird effect for like evolution to give your brain You're like is it is it like at a certain point you're just like let's get this over with or it's a great

excuse if you go to court for being new. But you knew, yeah. I had hyperthermia. That is what evolution's done there. There is an advantage. It's to give you a good excuse for if you go to court for taking all your clothes off. You're new to the...

On a mountain. The perfect crime. Yeah. Yeah, well like is there some sort of thing where it's like, okay, your body's at this point, you've lost so much heat, your best chance of survival is to maybe get attacked by a big animal and like dragged to their cave for a bit of warmth, for a bit of warmth, and then you might be able to crawl out or something when they think that you've bled to death. You know, like you're playing these low percentage moves here.

It may be, yeah, that's your best. So could I remember hearing the reason why we can sleep well when it rains? Have you had this? No. Because when we were around wolves, when wolves were a problem, wolves don't hunt and hunt. And the rain, the rain.

Wow. And that's why we love the sound of the rain on the tin roof. Yeah. So, you know, back there we'd have our tin roofs, obviously. One of those survival things that just like sort of don't make sense, but it would be interesting to know why you get nude. That's really good. I mean, I hope that's the real reason

because that's such a good reason that makes so much sense and it's a really beautiful thing. So, I mean, well, let's think of some of the other things that make it easy for you to sleep really well and try and work out how those also would have helped to keep away wolves. T, like a... Yeah, a cup of tea, hot cocoa, yeah.

Is there anything else? Makes me sleep well. Yeah. Valium. You want that of Valium? No, no. You? Yeah.

Yeah, okay. Everyone on a plane once. Right. You sort of just like go to sleep and wake up in the same position. It's shocking. Scary at how much something can just make you sleep good. I mean, I feel like this is just like my brain must just have some volume gland because I genuinely can just like sleep anywhere at any time. You've ever slept it like that? Really deeply. A restaurant or maybe when you're younger,

you can just sleep on like that. Yeah. Yeah. That's pretty cool. I was telling Elister, I was gonna have a sleep before on the couch. She wouldn't let me. That way he is now.

Could be. Yeah. No, I mean, he said, you know, what else is this? There's lullabies, there's hot chocolates. It would keep away wolves, there's hot chocolates. They keep away wolves, wolfcock man here. I've got that written down. Yeah, the pit of patter. What helps you get the sleep?

Recently I've started just imagining a silver, a big giant silver ball rolling. And so that takes my mind away from words. That's true. Yeah, I mean as soon as I try to like, I picture something moving rather than thinking about words, then I already kind of start to feel like the waves of sleepiness a little bit arrived. So just like picture something moving, like I think my friend Alanta had had said she just pictures herself on a roller coaster. And so picturing the movement instead of words takes you away from like the cyclical like thinking something over and

over again. And how did that protect you from wolves? Quite genuinely. The thing about counting sheep is a way to go to sleep. Like if you've got a large number of sheep, they're probably not wolves around. Yeah. They're going to attack the sheep, not the... Or that all that'll go for the sheep. Yeah.

Little on the front page of the Guardian right now, there's an article about how John Cleese was beat to filming, to making a film about the Emu War. Yeah. By, I guess, you guys. Yeah. I think there was another group maybe that was also making one at some point. There was a guy named Levant, but he'd called the Emu War.

It's three in the making. So it's all canon, though. I just want to say that, you know, Shineless, saving part-run, all the same war. Yeah, yeah, I don't have it. Yeah, of course. I mean the more the merrier, right? It's all it's like that you want you want to have three florists on the same corner exactly Yeah, and it's exciting that John Clees might watch out. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, little boy from Jolong on Clees Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, yeah, yeah. A little boy from Jolong, from the couch. On Cleese? Yeah.

Yeah. Anyway. Imagine riding John Cleese like a horse. Mm. Yeah, not this age, but like, say like 40-year-old John Cleese. Like, getting him to obviously to like say something nice about your comedy, that would be great. Right.

But imagine riding such an iconic comedy star. He says, through town. Or he likes your show, your movie so much, he says, you know what? Get up on my back. Yeah. I'm taking you for a ride. That's right.

And then he, and then he gallops up Swanson Street. Yeah. And he says, oh, I love Jonathan show. Oh, I love Jonathan Schuster's comedy like that. It's some of the best. And he said, with me, with me, John. Yeah, that's really good. Because Schuster's comedy, like that, it's some of the best. He said, with me, with me John. Yeah, it's really good. Because I think that's, you know,

like obviously the compliment is nice, but then to have the physical sacrifices where it's the true manifestation of love, you know? And I feel like I would love to give some people some lifts as well, if I really adore their stuff. I'd love to get them to jump on my back Exactly, I would love to give back, you know and see some youngsters Give back and when you say give back give I want to give them my back

Come on up you get that's right a boost. Yeah, I'll give you a boost up onto my back Yeah, and a chocolate bar that only appears in the favorites pack the Cadbury favorites pack Boost boost. Yeah, more. Oh, yeah, are the more you prefer the more? No, I Cadbury favourites pack. Oh, boost. Boost, yeah. The Moro. Yeah, are the Moro, you prefer the Moro? No. I think the boost is a more modern chocolate. I think the Moro is trying to recreate the Moro's bar, it seems ridiculous. How crazy is it to call something a favourite?

Because surely the favourites are drawn from a broader crop, right? It's like the best of. You've got an album called The Best of. You can't put people doing this all the time, don't they? They'll put an unreleased track on a best of. But in theory, you shouldn't put a song people haven't heard before on a best of.

How you'd be like, well, who says that's the best? So similarly. In the same, you're saying with the morrow in the favourites. Yes. Not even a, it's not you can't even buy that by it. Can you? Exactly. So how would it be the favourite then?

The only time you eat it is when it's in the favourites. As in, you know how that's a favourite? It's the Cadbury is giving it prime position. So it's like all the other things. More like it's the favorites. It's nepotism sort of thing. Exactly. The boost.

The boost is the boost. Exactly. The mauro is probably like the Cadbury kids like he's dating the Cadbury owner's daughter. Like she's just like a shelving him or something like that. I'm not sure what it is. Is that what it is when you're dating? A dating something like that. I'm not sure what it is. You know what I'm sorry. Is that what it is when you're dating?

A dating, putting it up your date? That's right. That's right, she's dating it like that. So, I brought it down. Okay, the five rits. The five rits up the bomb of... I gotta tell you, you know, this has never happened on any of the hundred episodes before,

but I, you know, we've talked a lot about pooping on this episode today, and I have now let some out of my own body. I gotta say I'm a new man. Oh, that's really good. I have exercise, the demon. Yeah. You know, and I gotta say,

I have not been drinking enough water and it was almost dry area. You know, which is something we've invented at some time during the episode. That's right, that's right. Yeah, you know, so, anyway, we're doing great. So like, when we got this new, great, new favorites. Okay, I've written down here, favoriteism.

Cabery, favoriteism, I call it. That's what it is. That's what I call it. You know, all the other chocolate can break through at the moment. What chance would it have? You know, think to think about the chomp who has been around for so long, right? The chomp, who I feel has done

the yards and earned, you know, cannot even make it into the favorites. Even though if you ask people, you say probably the chomp, the curly, early and their probably hold a much fonder place in their hearts than say, Amaro. Do you think it's like getting a comedy show on the ABC these days? Could be. You know, try to get one in there, but there's already there's all show on the ABC these days? Could be. You know, trying to get one in there, but there's already there all these players and none of them are moving on. That's right. There's not many slots.

You know, but really they just want to give, they just want to give, you know, a role to somebody who they know always succeeds. Like a Mars or like, you know, a Crunchybar or something like that. It's easier to just count the old papers. You can't begrudge them that. Of course not, because they just want to have success reflected back upon them as well. That's like the owners of the Canberra thing. Is there too much barely veiled metaphor here?

Well, it's just thinking like a chomp and a curly whirl is still like 50 cents in my opinion. So if you've got, if you're paying 20 bucks for a favorite and you get that much of a chomp in a curly whirl is still like 50 cents in my opinion. So if you've got, if you're paying 20 bucks for a favorite and you get that much of a chomp, you'd be like, I could get a whole one for like, you're right. And you know, obviously every solution has its own problem. Yeah. It's just nice to see them in the run. They should add them as extras for free.

Okay, stick them on the back as well. So you've got the normal chocolate and then you, like a long carrot that you carry along the side of your leg. What about this? We try and find the guy whose favorites they all are, right? Because we don't know, could just be one person's favorite. That's true. We hunt that guy down, we find out he's a complete fucking lunatic.

Yeah, well then we find out what his favorites and others are. You know, it's so long. Oh, really? Because then you go, well then we find out what his favorites have had a thing. Yeah, really? Because then you go, well, what's your favorite song? And it's like, oh, like, pretty fly for a white guy? No, I don't know. You're the guy who should be making these kinds of choices. It should, Cabribe should be doing a hottest 100

or a hottest 10 every year. And then the vote makes that, you know, makes it into the city. The world's biggest democratic chocolate pole. That's right. Yeah. And, but I mean, the world's biggest chocolate pole. Pole. Democratic chocolate pole. Democratic chocolate, but yeah, okay, go on.

Yeah. World's biggest democratic chocolate. What's, how's it, when, what senses this chocolate pole, or pole? Yeah. It could be a chocolate pole. Yeah. In what senses a democratic? And if you can tell me this Paul it would be a chocolate pearl. What senses a democratic? And if you can tell me this, it's going on the Earth. You were a democratic poll.

All right, now. Does everybody bring a bit of chocolate from home? It won't work, Andy, it won't work. It's not going to be a good enough sketch. But that's OK. Andy, you know what? We're going to have other ideas. Yeah, okay.

You know, what about this, a piece of chocolate wearing sunglasses? You see, the well is bottomless. All right, a guy, it's a documentary on guys who love kissing guns on their mouth, right? What about this? A gun with lips? Yeah, I mean, that's great too, but I think that the muzzle, the thing is the mouth. Is the mouth, and the little bit that sticks out is like lips, and you don't want human lips on it. That's why you're kissing a gun.

Yeah, sure. If I wanted to kiss human lips, I'd kiss a human. Yeah, so it's like interviewing if you're talking heads. I'll provide gun lips. Gun? Especially kind of lips. You only get on guns. And what are they, like, a bit like human lips? Or are they just...

I mean, I wish I had the creativity to think of some lips for a gun that were purely an only of gun. And no resemblance to even lips, but you could see them and you instantly knew they were lips, you knew they were again. I like a lip on a cup, you know? Like a slight curl over. Yeah, I mean, you know, like the lips on a gun

that's, you know, that bunny, you know, Bugs Bunny's put his finger in, like that, and then they've shot and then it kind of a That is kind of a bit like a gun lip, but it's more like it looks more like a gun asshole. Yeah, sure I'm gonna write down kissing a gun on the list and then he goes and I'm not I don't he's like I don't do that I don't just gun assholes right cuz this guy's got in tag, you know, he's integrity's an old-fashioned You know, and so he doesn't eat ass. He's like, all the young people do like that.

And so he's like, no, I won't eat that. But he's like, but the little rim like that. And he says it's gotta be loaded. Wow. He's gotta be loaded like that. And there's other guys and one guy does put real lips, human lips on it. And then the other guy's like, this is so fucking insane.

Just kiss a woman like that. What are you? And then the guy goes, actually I tried it. If he said that, that's so fucking insane. Just kiss a woman. Yeah. Like that. What are you? And then the guy goes, actually, I tried. After he said that, he seemed so upset. I said, I tried kissing a woman. It wasn't quite the same. But then I said, hey, honey, put a little bullet in your mouth. Yeah.

Like that, and she did. And he was better. Better than kissing a gun with lips. Tell you what, I'm never kissing a woman. You're trying to get in. Kiss a gun with lips. Kiss a what, I'm never kissing a woman. You're trying to get it. You're trying to get it. Kiss a gun with lips, kiss a woman with a bullet in her mouth. That's what we're talking.

It's this guy again. Kissing is just a little bit. You have to find a new one. You're a bit with a bullet. Hello. It's been an absolute pleasure. It's very much. It's the block you've got. Yeah, we might even be like, let's probably, yeah, one, two, three, four, five, six, seven.

So yeah, it's like, three, fifty-six. We're, I don't know. Yeah, one, two, yeah, three, fifty-six. Yeah. Thank you very much. We're getting so close, probably. A lot. A lot of wishes to have you. A lot of wishes to have you. A lot of wishes to have you. A lot of wishes to have you. A lot of wishes to have you.

A lot of wishes to have you. A lot of wishes to have you. A lot of wishes to have you. A lot of wishes to have you. A lot of wishes to have you. A lot of wishes to have you. A lot of wishes to have you. A lot of wishes to have you.

A lot of wishes to have you. A lot of wishes to have you. A lot of wishes to have you. A lot of wishes to have you. A lot of wishes to have you. A lot of wishes to have you. A lot of wishes to have you. A lot of wishes to have you.

A lot of wishes to have you.