Two In The Think Tank - 401 - "PEN SKETCH FLASHBACK"

Episode Date: September 30, 2023

Sketches TBCGustav and Henri Volume 2 is now available to purchase in Australia here!You can support the pod by chipping in to our patreon here (thank you!)Join the other TITTT scholars on the TITTT discord server hereHey, why not listen to Al's meditation/comedy podcast ShusherDon't forget TITTT Merch is now available on Red Bubble. Head over here and grab yourselves some material objectsYou can find us on twitter at @twointankAndy Matthews: @stupidoldandyAlasdair Tremblay-Birchall: @alasdairtb and instaAnd you can find us on the Facebook right hereGeorgeous thanks to George for his production of this episode. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It's winter, and you can get anything you need delivered with Uber Eats. Well, almost almost anything. So no, you can't get snowballs on Uber Eats. But meatballs, mozzarella balls, and arancini balls? Yes, we deliver those. Moose? No. But moose head? Yes. Because that's alcohol, and we deliver that too.

Along with your favorite restaurant food, groceries, and other everyday essentials. Order Uber Eats now. For alcohol, you must be legal drinking age. Please enjoy responsibly. Product availability varies by region. See app for details. Alistair, yes, Andy. Well, on October 7th at 6 a.m.,

we're going to be starting the 400th episode of Two in the Think Tank. Oh, what? But why are you telling me this on starting the 400th episode of two in the think tank oh what but why are you telling me this on the 404th episode well that's because we're not very good at planning things but i'm telling you this so that you can we're going to be live streaming it from stupid old studios and if you want to watch, you can go to Stupid Old Channel and look at the stream. We're going to be streaming it from there. Yeah, on YouTube.

On the YouTube. I reckon it'll be on YouTube. That's right. And there'll be special guests from all your favorite local podcasts. Nick Mason just said he'll do it. Matt Stewart or somebody from Do Go On suggests they will. Sands Pants people.

Lisa Dib. The whole crew is going to. Saren Jayaman. Evan Munro Smith. Beck Petratus. Saren. Yeah. I love Saren.

For a person I never see, I think of him so fondly. The fondness is so high. Yes. It's very easy to be fond of. Oh, man. He is like he's very fondful. It's like I've got a fond debt towards him. Even when you haven't met him, you're something like, anyway, fond debt.

Whenever I'm near him or not near him, I sense a negative fond gradient. And I feel the fondness being drawn out of me almost by osmosis. Like a fondness low pressure system. The winds of fondness just blow towards him. I love the idea of a wind of fondness. We should start the episode. Okay. Yes, we've just done two episodes of Two in the Side Tank,

and I think that was one of our opening songs that could have been almost indistinguishable from some of our animal noises animal noises that we do for the side tank and you can experience those if you subscribe to the patreon hello and welcome to two in the think tank the show where we come up with five sketch ideas i'm andy and i'm alistair george william trombley virtual and and let's get straight into fondness low pressure systems caused by sarin. Well, I guess I am interested in the fondness, but I'm interested in the idea of like a weather system for something other than wind. You know, I love the idea of sort of emotions or feelings

being affected by the same kinds of atmospheric things, maybe being predictable, maybe as well as being a meteorological weather report, you could get a sort of an emotional forecast for the next day about what the feelings will be around different places. It's very silly and very, you know, nothing. But it would be a fun kind of satirical thing about mental health. About weather reports. And weather reports and about how. And it seems like a distraught sister is circling and that's going to be sucking the energy out of her. You know, that kind of thing.

Yeah, sisters. Yeah. Instead of system. Instead of a weather system. It's a sister. A weathered sister. A weathered sister. Depression.

Do they talk about depressions in weather reports? Not really, do they? That would be good, wouldn't it? That would make this so easy. They talk about that, I guess, when they're referring to the ground, dirt and stuff. That's right, when dinosaurs walk.

Yeah. Oh, could we get a weather report, God, and talk about the dinosaur steps? I think if you were trodden on by a dinosaur, you probably would experience depression. That's probably. Into the ground. Yeah. But maybe also the fact that it's very sad that your life will not continue.

I think that's a great cartoon. Single panel comic, right? Single panel. Which, in a way, is a type of sketch, right? Okay. So here we go. This is what it is. I'll describe it to you.

It's a big Brontosaurus footprint, right? Okay. In the bottom of the footprint, there is a squashed caveman. Yeah. Okay. I'm depressed. Another caveman is looking over the edge of the divot. Oh, that's good.

He represents the audience. That's right. He's an audience surrogate, okay? Some might say he's an unreliable narrator. Is he a narrator as well? He's also the narrator, yes. And he says, Ugg, I found're in a depression.

I found you in a depression. Okay. And Ugg, who's the one lying down in the bottom of the footprint, says, well, how else do you expect me to feel? I've just been trodden on by a brontosaurus. That's good. What do you think of that? That's really good, Andy. Do you think I could sell that to the New Yorker?

Um. Do you think I could sell that to the New Yorker? I reckon you could give it to the New Yorker. And, you know, they could sort of take it, I suppose. They're more of a one-person-says-things kind of thing. You've got to find a city that has two lines in the newspaper. You know? What's a twin city thing? I think maybe it's because it's just one city.

Aubrey Wodonga? If you go to the Aubrey Wodongan newspaper, I assume if a single city has a single caption for their comics in their newspaper, then a double twin

city should have two captions in their newspaper. Are there many twin cities? I think Aubrey Wodonga might be the only one. Andy, what about Budapest? Is that the case?

Is that what that is? Really? Great. I thought the pest was the river. Budapest, Hungary's capital, is bisected by the river Danube. What's bisected by the Danube? Danube. What's the denoube?

Denoube. It's 19th century. Chain Bridge connects the hilly Buddha district with Flat Pest. A funicular runs up the castle hill to Buddha's old town, to Buddha's old town where the Budapest History Museum traces city life from Roman times onward. That was very good, Alistair. You should

write encyclopedia entries. That was fantastic. Well, I should write Wikipedia entries. That really rolls off the tongue and into the ear. That's right. Well, I am a reliable narrator if I am to be believed. Can things roll off any, is there any other way that you can express yourself?

You know, to roll off the tongue. They roll beautifully into the ear. I think we've already talked about that on the podcast. I'm so glad we can finally stop talking about that. But, you know, if you were expressing yourself in writing, things could roll off the pen. That's almost too literal. Yes.

Too obvious. Because of the ball pen? The ballpoint pen. What about roll off the pencil, though? Ah, roll off the pencil. If you were expressing yourself through dance, things could really roll off the leg. But instead of an ink ball pencil, what about a lead ball pencil? Instead of an ink ball pencil, what about a lead ball pencil? What about a lead ball pencil? Instead of an ink ball pencil, what about a lead ball

pencil? Is that what you meant to say? These are your words. Instead of an ink ball pencil, how about a lead ball pencil? Now, Andy, what do you think? Do you think that I meant to say the incorrect thing, or do you think? Is that what you've been saying? Do you think that I meant to say the incorrect thing, or do you think I meant to say the correct thing? Well, Alistair, I think... Andy, you know, really figuring out what we're talking about

is not the job of you or me, but it is for the correctional facilities of our brain, which is part of the subconscious, and therefore not us. Yeah. Okay? You're right. So you know that that was not my intention, in the same way in which what I said was not my intention.

You know that the pure meaning is my intention. That is all. The fact that the body fails to get it out yeah that was that wasn't you the bit of the body that failed that is the body that fails to do it you know if your if your forklift collapses the entire shelving unit of your factory. Yeah. Right? Because of some mistake. Is that what I wanted? Or is that just what happened?

You know, some could say, Alistair, that that was the exact nature of my question. That that's what I was trying to find out. I know asking you if that's what you would say and say you knew the answer and some could go on to say alistair that a lot of what we do on this podcast is deliberately saying silly things and getting things wrong and sometimes the line between a thing that you intentionally said wrong and unintentionally said wrong is difficult to distinguish and maybe that there was the situation that i was in there and i think in a situation like the very specific one we just had where you were jumbling words between uh concepts

as part of what you were trying to say accusatory sounds very accusatory. It sounds very conscious, like, what's the word I'm looking for? Not prejudicial. So is this what you were trying to say? Instead of an ink ball pen. Yes, an ink ball, a lead ball pencil. You have a lead ball pencil. You have a lead ball pencil. Okay. Also, I have the problem of like we don't often talk about an ink ball pen, right?

That's not a phrase people use. So, I'm already in unfamiliar territory. It's not like I'm playing with known units of meaning. Ink ball pen is a very common ballpoint pen. Damn. But wait, what is an ink ball pen? very common ballpoint pen. Damn. But wait, what is an ink ball pen? A ball ballpoint pen. No, they talk about the ball point.

Yeah. Yeah, right. Ballpoint pen. But that's okay. I just needed to know. No, that's okay. Yeah, yeah. You know what?

This whole conversation, I got to say, and I'm going to take responsibility for my subconscious making that error. I'll take one for my subconscious. I'll be the bigger man. I'll take 100% responsibility for my subconscious making that error. And if my subconscious offended you when it said that or upset anybody? If my body and its subconscious in some way interrupted the flow of conversation, I want to apologise, consciously apologize from on behalf of

behalf of my unconscious body that you felt that way conscious that you felt that way i think incorporating the duality of the terrible apologies with a good going into a bad apology is really good. It's really good. I think that's a great new frontier in ways to distance yourself from your actions. The duality. I mean, am I my mind am i by any part of me i'm sorry that the sounds coming out of my body um upset you i'm sorry that you felt upset by the sounds that my body made. We are pretty tired and pretty deep into podcasting territory. We've gone far, but I have not.

What I'm trying to reach for is, did we have a first idea? Because there's still nothing on the page. Wow, okay, great. Well, I think Mind-Bodybody duality apologies is an idea yes right um and so that's what we were just talking about then but uh i think also i'm i'm willing to accept that there might be a an idea in a pen pen pencil a pencil, if you will, where you use – A rod of pure ink. I reckon this may already exist.

But yes, a nice hard rod of pure ink, that could be something. But then you could have a tube full of ground-up graphite that is then rolled onto the page by a little ball at the end of your ballpoint pencil. Wait, say that one more time. I think you could have a ballpoint pencil, which I think maybe was the idea you were trying to get at earlier, where you have the tube, instead trying to get at earlier, where

you have the tube instead of being full of ink, it's full of ground up graphite. You still have the ball on the end and you... Yeah. And the other thing that I wanted you to write down was my guy in the depression. Caveman. Oh, yes. I think that's a sketch idea as well. Oh, yes.

Caveman. Squished. Squished caveman in a depression. Caveman depression. I think it's a shame that cavemen were not alive at the same time as the dinosaurs. Wait, wait, wait. I have to go back again. I'm so sorry.

I know I'm interrupting flow. But what was the thing that you had just said? My brain is now in, I just lose everything instantaneously. You had mentioned the previous thing we had discussed and it's gone. Not the squished caveman, but the thing before that.

The ballpoint pencil. This is not really a comic idea no no but it maybe it could be as in for a comic for a a newspaper for the new yorker for the old i want you to know when you said you tried to fix my idea what you i guess you interpreted as my probably my subconscious mistaken idea of a ballpoint pencil now you said a powdered graphite in there but i want you to know that when i was saying it the image that was within my mind and this could be my subconscious image i can't label it until i see the public reaction for sure um is that for me it was a solid rod of graphite and the ball may or may not grind it down oh Oh, that's interesting.

Yeah, scrapes a bit off the... So it's really just a middleman scraping a little bit of graphite off the rod and then laying it down onto the table. That could be quite a nice experience. Maybe it's a wet... It could be a wet rod. A wet rod. It could be molten graphite.

How do you feel about that? It could be that there's a the graphite and a tube of water in there sure maybe oil maybe olive oil just a regular binder you know as i as i know from my thesis that i did my engineering thesis in the in the whale oil, is the potential of whale oil used in binding oils in colonial print media. What I do know is that oils are often used as binding oils, at least, at the very least, in colonial print media. Now, would that be the case in contemporary media?

Graphite pencils. And say in ballpoint pencils. And could you use potentially whale oil, maybe flaxseed oil, as is more commonly used at the time of colonial times, of course. This episode has a real tone to it. It has a real energy. There's something going on here. I don't hate it.

I quite like it. But it is a little bit toxic. In many ways, this is the first, I think this could be the first time I'm using a pencil to write down the sketch ideas. Okay, that's what it is. That's what I'm picking up on. This could be you picking up.

I thought there was a pencil vibe to this episode and I wasn't sure where it was coming from. Pick up on the things that are, the objects that are around me. It becomes very obvious when there's a change in my environment. I'm like a cat. I become very distressed. Now I think back and I'm having a flashback montage of every previous episode of Two in the Think Tank. And I'm remembering all…

Flashback to every episode. Yeah, that's right. Like one after another, I'm being assaulted by these images and everything's falling into place. And I'm just realising now that every other sketch idea you've ever suggested has been about a pen. And this is the first time I've realised. Oh, my God. It all makes sense now. My secret has come out.

It all makes sense. What about a pen? What about ink travelling down? What about a pen? What about ink travelling down? What about a little plastic plug at the top and then sort of a clear plastic sort of hexagonal framework, long tube. The liquid travels down the tube and is deposited onto the page. um what if a guy he's talking to his um page and uh black liquid starts coming out of his

he's doing a handstand and a black liquid starts coming out of his mouth onto his page um is Paige. Um. Um. And his name is Big. Um. And some big fingers. Just grab him. Oh, fuck. just grab him oh fuck okay okay get it together

oh god um okay what was i i mean do you want to Oh, come on, get it together. Oh, God. Okay, what was I, I mean, do you want to try and turn that into anything? It's made me laugh more than anything that's ever happened on the podcast, by the way. Whose ideas are? Wait. I think. I have. I think Entirely You could find a way to turn that into a sketch

Where like, you know, people are in a In an idea Brainstorming an idea Generation type environment It could be academics looking back at different Phases of his career. Yes. And we

think that that's because at that period he was using a pen to write his ideas down. Yeah. Well, I was going to be just people trying to do a brainstorm and there's one guy in the room and all his suggestions are about whiteboards and whiteboard markers and brainstorming sessions

and coming up with ideas. Oh, he's kind of like a powder inside of like a wet material, Inside of like a wet material. Like a sopping wet sort of sponge inside a plastic tube. And like he just presses himself up against a white wall. And as he does so, like a perfect impression of him is left behind as he drags himself across the white wall. I mean, that's amazing imagery. And I think that's quite, I think I like that a lot.

Did I tell you at some point? One time we were doing sci-fi try guys. I feel like I can tell the audience this. Yeah. That made me laugh so much I farted. I'm so happy that you feel so comfortable with our audience that you can tell them that. Well, I can... Look, now that you feel that comfortable, I can tell my audience,

which is the members of the audience who are okay with listening to me, I can tell my audience, which is the members of the audience who are okay with listening to me, that we've had to do lice treatments in our house today. That is, yeah. I mean, that's amazing to me. And it's also amazing to me that when you first discovered you were going to have to do lice treatments, you messaged me like, we're going to have to do lice treatments. I don't think I'm going to be able to. It felt like you were saying, I'm not going to be able to do any podcasts tonight. Because I'm going to be doing lice treatments for the next four hours.

I thought that we were going to do the kids and then us. And then I forgot that it just took 10 minutes of having the liquid stuff in your head but then you got to comb it through all that kind of stuff yeah right i mean i was very i was very accepting of that and that you needed the time or whatever but then it was also it was all over and done with it felt like in about half an hour and it was just uh but i know also you don't like having a lot of different tasks to complete man it's just like having more than one like event in a day is truly like a tremendous ask and so having to work all day and then having a full night of

ridding parrot ridding parrot i mean parasites from your body um you know whatever how did how how big can something be before it stops being a parasite and starts to become a predator you know well the thing is i think that if it's live if it requires you to remain alive in order to um subsist off you to subsist off you then yeah i guess that's the problem so so then i guess if we ate cows by just cutting off little bits. And then we ate slow enough. Well, if we just drink their milk, I guess we are being parasites, right? Mm-hmm. So if you're using a cow just for dairy, you have a parasitic relationship with a cow. With a cow, yeah.

I think you're right. That's great. That's really interesting. That's quite fun. Do you drink milk? You drink milk, right? They should call the dairy section because it's, you know, eggs and dairy. They should call the host section.

They should call. Yeah. That's fun. Parasitic aisle. Like any. Well, because and the same thing, we have a parasitic relationship with apple trees. Oh, yeah. Yeah, that's true.

But you know which ones we don't? Herbs. Yeah. No, we're predators on herbs. We can feel good about that. We're proper. If only there was a word for that. A thing that eats

herbs. I guess we'd call it a herb predator. I've got to say, it makes me feel pretty tough. Yeah. But maybe it's because I'm picturing a guy

called Herb. You picture Homer's brother? No. I don't think I was picturing anybody in particular. But now that I'm on the spot, I'm going to say Herb Alpert and the Tijuana Brass. I think I have a Tijuana Brass album. I think you probably would like it a lot.

Yeah, no, I do. I just listened to a Tijuana Brass album, maybe with Chet Baker just the other day. Yeah, yeah, wow, cool. But it wasn't as good as I would like. Oh, cool. But it wasn't as good as I would like. Oh, cool. For some reason, I was doing a bit of research about Herb Alpert recently and was listening to a bit of his stuff.

Came across my radar. I think he looked very good into his old age. What's his name? I think that got Herb Alpert. Herb Alpert. Yeah, I think he was keeping it real tight. And I think that got my attention. Oh, yeah. I mean, the thing is, is that if you're a jazz musician and you live beyond 60, it's already a tremendous thing. Like, I mean, if you want to have a beautiful experience of

looking at somebody, have a google of what sunny rollins looks like these days wow okay i didn't know sunny rollins was still alive that doesn't seem right to me no it doesn't feel right but this is what happens when jazz musicians live beyond 60 yeah i mean i'm not telling you can't handle it i'm not telling you that he's absolutely blowing horns right now but like his let's say his last 15 years of looks have been unbelievable cool all right i'll check that out alice i was saying before about cavemen i mean about how they Obama giving him a medal. Sorry. Apologies. Sorry, what were you about to say?

I was saying we know that cavemen weren't alive at the same time as the dinosaurs. That's what we know. But if we ever invent time travel, I think we should take some cavemen back to the time of the dinosaurs. Fix the error. Exactly. Exactly. Yes. Oh, that's really good. Because I think when we think about time travel,

we tend to think about us going to different times, right? I think of that as first-order time travel, us going to the future, us going to the past. But then once we're in the past, we can take people from the past to other points in the past or in the future. And I think of that as second order. That's a more advanced, higher level form of time travel. Now, where things are really getting interesting, we're really jumbling shit up. Okay? interesting we're really jumbling shit up okay and i think taking cavemen back to the time of the dinosaurs and and seeing how it does play out is it like the far side comics

that's what i'd like to know i would like that a lot yeah i mean i don't even the thing is that even if it isn't could we go back in time and make it so that it is? It is like the Far Side comic. Yeah. Great. You know, could we go even further back in time and somehow fix it? And then we'll be able to look at the Far Side comics and say, wow, these were actually very prescient. Albeit prescient about things that happened in the past.

Yeah. But didn't happen in the past until the future it's winter and you can get anything you need delivered with uber eats well almost almost anything so no you can't get snowballs on uber eats but meatballs mozzarella balls and arancini balls yes we deliver those moose no but moose head yes because that's alcohol Yeah, if you know what I mean. Yeah, of course. But, you but you know the thing is as long as we're fixing history because that's kind of what's missing from reality is the ability to fix history's wrongs by actually instead of fixing the present but fixing the actual history fixing the present, but fixing the actual history. Fixing the present, which we're already so good at. Well, you don't have to fix the present if the past is fixed. That's correct, yeah.

I mean, that's the problem. There's barely enough time to squander as it is. Squander is such a good word. There's barely enough time to squander as it is. Squander is such a good word. If we can go into the past, we'll finally be able to squander all the time. Could we squander the future? That's the thing. With time travel, there'll be no time that you won't be able to squander.

We're so disappointed about squandering the past. I'm not going to waste a moment not squandering. Do you think there's a way from the present that you could squander the entire future? I think we're on that path. I think we're giving it a red hot go. I think it's like anything. The to squandering the the future is to squander the present that's all you can do that's all you can hope for squat you know squander every

moment god it is fun saying squander you're right under it's a treat whoever worked on that word really, they knocked it out of the park. Because the first bit of it is so bird-like. Yeah. Squaw. There's not a bird that can actually pronounce squaw, is there? Like, we say they squawk, but they probably cock or something like that, don't they? Well, how are they doing the S? That's what you're saying, isn't it?

Yeah. That's a real, that's a lippy kind of. Well, it's not even lippy, but it's like kind of teethy. Tonguey and teethy. Yeah, it's teethy. Tonguey and teethy. I think they could squander. They could probably squander.

I don't know. I don't know if they could. Squander. Squander. But, like, they don't have teeth, so how are they making that really high-pitched S sound? I think their bodies, I mean, this is the thing, their bodies are so different to ours,

they've probably evolved special organs we don't even understand for making that sound. To make that, yeah, exactly, that S sound. Okay, well, maybe I'm just underestimating. We've got the wandering albatross. How about this, the squandering albatross? No, forget that, forget that idea. albatross.

No, forget that. Forget that idea. Or you imagine that I am able to completely erase such a beautiful idea from my mind. Well, good luck to me, Andy. That's what I always say. And good luck to the listeners. That's my challenge to you.

You've painted such a beautiful image into their heads and now you want them to just delete it. How about this? A Hotel Rwanda-ing albatross. Eh? Hotel Rwanda-ing albatross. Now, you know that movie with Don Cheadle.

Is it Don Cheadle? Yeah, Don Cheadle. Hotel Rwanda. It's so amazing that he's just American. There was one movie where he was British,anda. It's so amazing that he's just American. There was one movie where he was British, and I think most people thought that he didn't have a very good British accent in it. And yet, I only know him as British.

He is British, isn't he? No, Don Cheadle. Is he not British? Is that interview with him and the short comedian. Kevin Hart? Yeah, and Kevin Hart. It's one of the best little moments in an interview where he's like, Don Cheadle is clearly being serious.

You know, he's being his genuine actor serious self yes you know and then he's like because you know like i'm 53 and um and then kevin hart goes damn and it's a sit-down interview and don cheadle seems very offended about it is kevin hart interviewing him or is kevin hart also in the film and it's a joke interviewing him kevin hart just can't believe He's only 53 He yells Something like 53 Or 54 And he yells because he thinks that that's really old And then Don Cheadle's face gets very serious Oh wow

And then Kevin Hart's face gets a little bit serious. And then he says, I'm sorry. I should check this out. Yeah. It's a very beautiful moment. As a big fan of Don Cheadle's comedy and Kevin Hart's dramatic acting. He's not from Britain. Brittany.

I've always said Don Cheadle's one of my favourite British comedians. He's not neither a comedian or a Bruce. Whenever anybody asks me. He's one of the most genuine people, other than the guy who plays the song Pony, genuine in existence. Yeah, great. Genuine, the first word is gin, isn't it? Like in gin, it's G-I-N Gin you wine and then wine Like wine

I'm going to try to figure this out for you It's gin you wine And we have a friend Lisa Dib who's going to be on the 300th episode 400th episode Oh my god That's an extra 100 episodes

Sketches That we have to come up with 400th episode. 400th episode. Oh, my God. That's an extra 100 episodes. Anyway. Sketches. Sketches that we have to come up with. But who reminds us on Twitter, which I also only known as Blue Sky or X, that his real name, genuine, is Elgin Baylor Lumpkin. I haven't seen this. His real name is what? Elgin? Elgin Bailor Lumpkin is his real name.

Better known by his stage name, Gin Yarn. Well, when you say better known, I mean... I mean, I don't know him better. I'm enjoying it much more when I hear Ilgan B. Law Lumpkin. Why do you think he felt a stage name was necessary? I mean, he thought it was better. Just letting you know that he's also known as

Tornado. Wow. Wow. Amazing. How many sketch ideas, if you can call them that, have we written down now, Alistair? Technically, we've actually written down five. Oh, my God. That's incredible.

Okay, Alistair. That's actually a miracle, Andy, because I don't feel like we've come up with that, but that's great. Now, Andy, are you okay if I go to three words from a listener? Yeah, yeah, really okay. So okay. The three words today. My face is hurting. Great. Great. That's all I need to know

All I need to know is that you're in pain And then I can move forward I can continue with my life Today's words come from Sayon Now, Sayon Yeah, Sayon Sayon

I worry that this is an Irish name of some sort or a Welsh name and that I'm pronouncing it very wrong it could be Sean perhaps wait let me just Sion

no that's not entirely the same spelling but it could be Sion just letting you know Cyan. No, that's not entirely the same spelling. But it could be Cyan. Just letting you know. I'm just letting you and all the viewers of my audio words know that it could be Cyan. Now, Andy, do you want to try and guess what Cyan's first of three words is? And I want you to know it's not whatever you say the first thing. Wow.

Okay. So just move straight on to the second. I'll think of something else. Okay. Crowbar. What's that? Crowbar. There's a lot of, there's like a very similar amount of letter placements i don't know what that means but okay

i'll take it um fragrant fragrant okay it's almost like crow brawl fragrant vagrant the second word is vagrant fragrant vagrant no that's very incorrect the second word still that would be a that would be a great name for a stinky tramp yeah that would be that would be really good andy i'm sorry's the third word Now what do you want to guess is the third word? Oh my god, I don't think I felt more pressure ever Fragrant Fragrant

Flagrant It's the next word Flagrant Andy, what are you doing? It's vagrant, isn't it? It's vagrant. Is it vagrant? The third word is vagrant.

You are correct, Andy. The thing is that every time you get a word right, neither of us feel the joy that you should feel. Yeah. We actually feel disappointed when you get it right. It's like the opposite of achievement. Yeah. Yeah, I think that's true.

It's so weird. This is, Andy, we have put these things in place. These are games. These are the things that are normally put in place for fun, for pleasure. And somehow we've created an anti-game. Well, you've created the game, Alistair, where

it's impossible, it's supposed to be impossible for me to guess it. And then I try to guess it and I get it wrong and then you make fun of me for getting it wrong that's the fun yeah actually getting it right there's nothing there there's no it's so weird but it's also that i think that maybe there's no fun in getting things right in real life

because it's just kind of an order to things that's fine whatever i think you know what i think it is it's because knowledge is kind of in a way not entirely your fault then yeah the knowledge that you have is in many ways random and it's dependent on your upbringing and your privilege and things like that and so i think that knowing things for real is not fun but then also not knowing things for not like knowing things by accident is not that fun other than like maybe it's because you work them out most of the time. And so the only way in which it's fun is that if it's impossibly improbable that you would get it. Yeah. improbable that you would get it yeah yeah the only way that we will experience fun other than me mocking you for not getting something that's impossible

it's me guessing a completely random word yeah yeah i think working something out using your brain feels like cheating it's's cheating. Yeah. It's Don cheating. Don cheating. Okay. That's when you come up with something English that you think is English. Okay.

So, the words are fragrant, flagrant, vagrant. Mm. Right. Yeah. Fragrant. I mean, fragrant, fragrant.

I get, you know, fragrant, vagrant. That's already perfect, you know, obviously. That's a thing that exists in the world. Now, flagrant. What entirely does flagrant me what if we start a um a charity that dispenses perfumes to the homeless it's the most insulting charity yeah yeah it has no benefit to them, but in our minds, I guess it makes them less unappealing to pass us by. It's a charity that hands out like hampers to the needy.

And so, sometimes it just gives your husband or your wife some deodorant. Okay. Because they're considered needy. Yeah. Right? Because they needy deodorant. Because they're stinky. And so they're in need of deodorant, right?

Yeah. But then sometimes it's like, yeah, sometimes it delivers food to the needy. But then, well, I mean, the thing is that this could just be a perfume company that somehow gets a tax break through giving unsold perfume, perfume that's unpopular. They claim that it goes to a charity, which goes to the needy, but all they do is they get people to tell them if their partner is stinky stinky people in their lives and then they deliver free perfume to them and they can get a full tax break extra tax break

yeah i mean yeah i'm i'm happy with that are you uncomfortable with the idea of the homeless being involved in any way? Do you find that distasteful? Well, I feel like my new version has no homeless involved. Yeah, I know. That's why I changed to the word needy. Yes, and that's why I'm asking you if you're uncomfortable with the homeless component. I'm not because I think that it is a funny thing for a charity to try to do. Yes.

And that maybe they expand to regular people as a response to them being accused of just basically their mission statement essentially accuses homeless people of being stinky. Yeah, I think, you know, they're quite high-end perfumes in my mind. Yeah, flagrant. what does that mean that means sort of almost flamboyant in your disregard for considered wrong or more immoral conspicuously or obviously offensive there you go conspicuous this is is pretty much a perfect description of these people who use their charity to get rid of their unused perfume by giving it to the homeless to make them less stinky. it to the homeless to make them less stinky but to have galas that's the part where it becomes a gala where they're

like where people are getting sprayed and famous people it's a nice um nice idea though like instead of uh everybody being interested in the uh the dresses that are being worn and there's a televised red carpet event where it's all about the smells the the perfumes that people are wearing as they walk up the up the red carpet now the people at home they won't be able to see any of that, but they'll be able to read reviews of the best smelling celebrities. And they'll be able to see the faces of the red carpet nose owners. Yeah, nose owners.

Nose owners. Nose owners. Yeah, nose owners. Nose owners. You know how people complain that people, you know, they're like, oh, people with womb owners or whatever. What do they call it? What's that word? Yeah, people with a uterus or something.

Is that right? Something like that, yeah. Person with a uterus or something like that. Person who menstruates, something like that maybe. Yeah, that kind of thing where people get really upset or whatever. They're like, oh, that term upsets me. I'm upset by term. I'm sure people are using that a lot when they're talking to people. In their lives, yeah.

And you're like, oh, people with noses. We just prefer to use them as people with noses. It's an inclusive term. Who doesn't include? Everyone. That's how inclusive it is. That's the whole point. That's what it means.

Because often we say, how do you think that... You refer to a funk. and you refer to a funk um how do you think that affects people with noses but i guess it doesn't affect i'm trying to find a situation in which it affects as peoples who have noses i think i think it is funny to talk about. Well, yeah, I know the smell is unsavoury to some people. We have to remember, though, that this only affects people with noses. That's right. You know, like if you're trying to talk down a situation. That's right.

And we don't want to only consider the perspective of nose-havers, of the nostrally privileged. The nostrally privileged, the people, the, what's, oh, the olfactory hold. The olfactory hold? Yeah. Do you call the nostril? I'm trying to say Hold as in H-O-L-E-D Yeah, yeah

I get it The middle feist hold Look, it doesn't work But I think, do you think that's enough? I think it's okay Do you think this is the kind of standard That we're going to have in season Four?

I'm excited to find out. I mean, because this feels like we're setting a precedent. It's hard not to feel like we have to follow this precedent. If we set a precedent of having this much fun on a podcast, I'm all for it, Alistair. Great. Well, because I feel with season three, we try to like relax things somewhat. We're like, ah, season three, that's sketches,

and it's not that important. But eventually, Andy, this is just a talk and pat podcast if we keep relaxing things. No, I don't think it is. I don't think it is. And I think in some ways, we've actually stuck to our brief a lot more than a lot of other podcasts.

You know what? Do you think this is the best podcast that's ever been made? I can't answer that question. No, Andy. Tell me honestly. Do you think this is the best podcast that's ever been made? This episode or this podcast? I want you to know I'm feeling really fragile emotionally at the moment

this episode or 2 in the think tank in general I think 2 in the think tank is the most important podcast that's ever been made possibly the most important piece of media I asked if it was important I said is it the best oh yeah it's the best

okay I wouldn't be doing it if it wasn't the best if it wasn't the best I'd be doing some other podcast it would seem ridiculous to spend our time doing this if it wasn't the best if this wasn't the best I would go and be on the best podcast that's true

why would you be on any podcast that isn't the best podcast why wouldn't you just leave to be on to go on exactly you know it's like why don't you just leave to be on Do Go On? Exactly. You know, it's like, why don't you build the whole plane out of black box? Why don't you make all the podcasts? Why don't you build the whole podcast out of black Andy?

Yes. That's a really interesting point. All right. Well, I guess we'll take us through the sketch ideas. We've got... I'm actually a little scared to hear these. Apologizing genuine

for you. Your subconscious. For your subconscious and bodies. Yeah. I think this is good. Yeah, mistakes. Mistakes. Yeah. Then we've is good. Yeah, mistakes. Then we've got Squished Caveman Depression Comic.

That's good. Then we've got Ballpoint Pencil, which is definitely a sketch idea. Then we've got Guy Whose Ideas Have Entirely Come From

Writing His What Writing Implement got guy whose ideas have entirely come from writing his his what i'm what writing implement he's using yeah yeah great um then we've got time and then there's a point at the end where somebody an interviewer asks him where do your ideas all these come from? Yeah, that's really good. And we've got time travel so that we can bring caveman to dinosaur times. And then we've got perfume, perfume company who donates perfume to the homeless and the stinky. The whole thing start entitled The Stinky. That's good.

Yeah. What are you thinking? Should we go into the song? Yeah. Yeah. I love it. Okay. Are you doing something with a glass? Have you got a glass up to your face?

Glass at the time. Yeah, it's different acoustic properties. I was giving it, yeah, and I was talking into the glass to give it a little bit of reverb. Listeners, if you want to know what, if you liked the tone and the vibe of this episode, you're going to love episode 400 coming up in a very short space of time.

It's insane that it's arrived. We've got less than two weeks until it starts. And so get ready, get your lives ready. Let's hope that nothing happens to stop us from doing this. Start the process of lowering your standards now. Because it can be dangerous to lower them suddenly. Lower your standards and increase your anticipation. It's a shock.

Because when you lower your standards, do you think it's impossible to increase your anticipation? No. No, I think lowering standards could be an important part of increasing your anticipation. Sorry, I meant it's impossible to not increase your anticipation. I think so, yes. Yes, because relative to your standards, the show is going to get better and better. That's right.

Oh, God, the show is going to be so good with the low standards I've got. I think that's really good. It's a way to increase the anticipation. Expectations. I have been lowering my standards so much for this. My expectations are very high. Two years ago, so you can imagine how excited I am.

I can't imagine this will disappoint me. My expectations are low, but my standards are low, but my expectations are so high. Oh, no. Of what you could achieve with such low standards. And we love you.

Bye. It's hockey season, and you can get anything you need delivered with Uber Eats. Well, almost, almost anything. So, no, you can't get anything you need delivered with Uber Eats. Well, almost, almost anything. So, no, you can't get a nice rink on Uber Eats. But iced tea, ice cream, or just plain old ice? Yes, we deliver those. Goaltenders, no. But chicken tenders, yes.

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