Two In The Think Tank - 402 - "BERNIE AT SANDERS" with Stu McKeon!

Episode Date: November 21, 2023

Hefty thanks to the wonderful and patient Stu for coming into our country and onto our podcast. Check out his twitch here.Disclaimish, Proxy Civil War, Open Mic Pick Up War, Bullet Proof Vests VS Skins, Terf War, American Hotpot, The Most Dangerous Neck of All, Step Identical Twins, Rattle Neck, Grinder of Bones, Vigilante Firefighter, B@S, Weekend at Burgers, The Second Killing, Goat Detective, Serial Manslaughterer.Gustav and Henri Volume 2 is now available to purchase in Australia here!You can support the pod by chipping in to our patreon here (thank you!)Join the other TITTT scholars on the TITTT discord server hereHey, why not listen to Al's meditation/comedy podcast ShusherDon't forget TITTT Merch is now available on Red Bubble. Head over here and grab yourselves some material objectsYou can find us on twitter at @twointankAndy Matthews: @stupidoldandyAlasdair Tremblay-Birchall: @alasdairtb and instaAnd you can find us on the Facebook right hereRecorded in the delightful and luxurious podcasting studio at Stupid Old Studios. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do potatoes, one, moving out of Ireland to England. Correct. Yeah. Wow. Oh, we're very close to doxing me. Yeah. Three. Having as many as me is, yeah, the first pet is called. This is a, this is a big episode. I mean, that's not just 402. You know, I'm calling it right now. This is the last episode of one. No, it just feels appropriate. I mean, you know, it 402. You know, I'm calling it right now. This is the last episode of season four. No, it just feels appropriate.

I mean, it's like the closing of a cycle. Sure. I mean, it could be, I mean, it's definitely the last episode of season four. And then we're about, or the first episode of season five. Yeah. I think the first half of this is the last half of season four. Yeah.

And then from halfway on, it's the last half of season four. Okay. And then from halfway on, it's the first half. It's a transitional moment. It's the first half of season five. Feels weird to introduce a character who can't come out, come back in. So should I die there? I mean, if you could, if you could, I'll do it with that.

We'll figure it out a way for it to happen. I mean, you probably can come back in. There's probably, you know, we're all, it's all gonna be doable. I mean, it's been doable for a long time, but I have come to Melbourne. Yeah, to make it happen. So for anybody who doesn't know,

Stu has been a listener for a long time and has at first I thought jokingly asked to be on the podcast. He's also a podcaster in his own right. I know, but then in his own right. But at the beginning, I don't think he was. And so then he developed a career in podcasting and Twitch streaming. Yes.

The macaroni prints himself. And then was like, can I know? No, I'll be on. And I was like, yes, definitely. And we will get you on. And then we just we haven't. We could organize it from a Zoom call perspective. No, not now beyond. And I was like, yes, definitely. And we will get you on. And then we just, we haven't. And so- We could organize it from a Zoom call perspective, from like it's hard enough for Alistair and I to schedule for us both to be on the podcast at the same time.

There are so many episodes we record where it's just one of us there and we just can't release them because it doesn't work. Yeah. And so then Stu has flown from the other side of the world and made it all the way to Australia's at the country. This is destination podcasts. Yeah, and so can we please welcome our lawn Michaels?

Oh, my goodness, huge. I mean, you know, because this is the WTF. Yeah, of course. Okay, sorry, I'm so sorry. You've listened to this enough time to know. Yeah, I got I've got every reference you've made so far. Great Stu and then now you've told me recently that I don't I'm not having been pronouncing this correctly for a long time McCone not even close So it's a Maccone oh Yeah, there's just too sellable and much more taxable.

Yeah, I mean, I think that feels like there's a bit more. Yeah. There's a bit more like proper. I'd say that's two and a half syllables. I think you're in the middle. It feels like there's a little bit, you're asking me to do a bit more work. You know, you're paying me for two syllables, but I feel like I'm doing some over. Yeah, yeah, that's fair.

I think it's hard to express opinions about the North Nars accent because it's so rarely heard in media. But the North Nars accent, essentially, is just English with all the spaces taking it. And sometimes then even in within words, the tick further, latter side, et cetera. So really, McKeown should be McKeown. Oh, right.

McKeown. So I guess two and a half, probably a fair compromise. McKeown. Oh, I mean, that's actually really, I think, yeah, is it that the muck is just regular English? Oh, yeah. And then the muck's regular, me. Yeah, it's just regular English. And then the un, that's regular English.

Is there a chance that the un is that's like Gaelic? I believe so. Yeah, I believe so. So there you go. I believe, based on the fact that I was born in Ireland, that's like Gaelic? I believe so. Yeah, I believe so. So there you go. I believe, based on the fact that I was born in Ireland, that's correct. Great. Well, then, I'm glad that that's a soul thing.

Is there anything in this? I think so. I think, I mean, it feels like there is, like there is, there is an oppressed Irish person inside, inside your name, I mean. I mean, does that mean that, if you're taking the spaces out of words, does it mean that you talk faster that the Northern Ireland thing is to talk a little bit quicker? And is

that perhaps an efficiency hack? Is this a sort of a thing that, you know, if we were trying to turn this into a sketch idea, could we get a Northern Irish person into a business to try and teach everyone at work to speak in what's called a business accent. Business Irish. Business Irish. Yeah, I think that's perfect. If you get north and the Irish people to do the end of Adverts where it's like, you know, all the legal jargon they have to put in, that would be perfect. A perfect role for a north and the Irishman just to really, slurredly be like, I mean,

it doesn't work for you anymore, you're going to work for it. I mean, that was really fast. And I feel like you were definitely saying things that I mostly was. Yeah. I mean, it definitely feels like there's a there's a sketch to be had in disclaimer, being its own accent. You know, there is a maybe there's an there is an island with an S somewhere in the Atlantic ocean where the local accent there they all speak in medical advertisement

disclaimer accent they talk really fast and slightly hushed times. But without out a lot of intonation. So this is, you see medical? Medical disclaimer, like it feels like the ones that usually you put in. But it's also financial advice. Yeah. I'm adding this all under the title of Business Irish. Business Irish, sure. Sure.

It's me. And Disclaimer Irish. Mm-hmm. But because I think this is the... Disclaimish. Oh my God, this is the pen from the 200th episode that ran out of ink. I didn't know that happened.

Yeah, yeah, we ruined the whole pen. Yeah, I've got a pen right in my pocket right here. I was just happening. Oh, no, but that's the pen from Episode Three. Oh, no. Oh, my God, this is all the historical pens from different episodes have come back to haunt us. So did you know I've actually bought the pen

from Episode One on eBay. And it was very expensive. Was it $1,000? I'm saying. I mean, it would be amazing if somebody was like coming and grabbing things that we don't even know where they are. But I do think that it's crazy that, especially in America, where they could, they love a disclaimer at the end of the night,

where they don't use the Irish accent loophole of making them, you know, not understandable to the general public there by making it fast, possibly Northern Irish. There would be a fantastic idea in making the disclaimer so incoherent, but actually just in someone's regular accent, because then if someone was able, well, I couldn't understand what they're saying, then you could put it back on to them and say, well, that's a big agree. Yeah. That's actually not our fault that you couldn't understand. Absolutely.

Completely accepted. You and I really could do the work. Yeah. Exactly. Yeah. I could get so many jobs here out of this. This is a great thing. This would be a great thing.

And yeah, especially because like there is such a big Irish population in the United States that would be there to back you up as well. You could almost start a full, you know, like maybe another, yeah, I don't wanna say another... Trouble. ...civil war. But then just all comes straight out of Boston,

you know, Boston outwards. Just saying. There's definitely an awkward pause there. Not a normal pause. The pause of, maybe I shouldn't have said this. I just couldn't remember the word civil. I just think it's a shame that you have to have your civil wars in your own country. I think you should be able to have an away game where both the sides of whatever civil war

go to a third location. So nobody has the home ground advantage, which they both I guess, they both had the home ground advantage at home. But yeah, they both given up the home ground. Yes, but if you're playing in a separate stadium, you're not going to damage your own country, which is what you're fighting for. Exactly. So I think you mentioned a lot more sets. But all the countries on a big wheel, spin it, which everyone comes up, that country is a vibe. Yeah, that will become the several more countries. Wow, it's a great idea.

I mean, if you could just get, like, kind of, in the- It's a war zone. It's zoned for war. Exactly. They should have all the wars. They should just have war stadiums. That's a really good idea. You know, like the arena of war, I mean,

but, you know, it could be like, and like Pokemon battles. Yes. There we go, there we go. You can change the ground. So you're like, all right, now we're gonna have a naval battle. And we go, here we go. You can change the ground. So you're like, all right, now we're gonna have a naval battle. And then you have what the stadium is. You can say like the boats out like tennis.

This this water will be played on clay. Yeah. See, I wanted completely different direction. No, yeah. I thought when you said it was like Pokemon battle, the ball of the ball of the ball of the ball of the ball. Austria would just like, well, we're gonna use Swartz today. Yeah.

They pick their most famous people to do the bottle for. That would be great too. You know, just have a representative. Oh, I mean, Northern London are not in a good way. No, is there nobody who's good at fighting? I mean, Liam Nations from Northern London, but he's quite elderly, not sure. I mean, but, you know, if you give him guns and stuff like that,

he's at least had some old- Why would you give him an Irish person to go? No. Am I sitting a lot of wrong stuff here? No, this is a joke I deal all the way at any time. So when my insides go, why would you bring about a book? I don't know enough about the troubles. Well, you'll be hopping no near the eye. That's so good.

Yeah, that's really good. Because as I've already doxed, you don't even live in Northern Ireland. No, I don't. Yeah, that's really good. Because as I've already doxed, you don't even live in Northern Ireland. No, I don't. Yeah, that's really great. If anyone would like to visit me, I live in Stoke on Trant. So if you're in there, just send me a lovely tweet. That's great. One of my favorite towns on Trent. Yeah.

Which is it an on-trend version of every town? Um, Parason Trent. Parason Trent. Yeah. There we go, there. Parason. You're riding that down? No, no, I was going back to proxy civil war. Oh, that saw a train. Yeah. Here we go. Power's running that down. No, no, I was going back to proxy civil war.

Oh, that's a very good idea. The location. This third location. Yeah. Just because, sorry, I take away from Trent for a moment. Because much like you know, America's fighting this war, essentially, with their biggest enemy, but they're not having to send in any of their own soldiers. Is there a way that they could just like have a surrogate civil war that happens where they say that they pay say, what's

a country that won't be offensive for me to say? England? England. They say, hey, America, how about it? Hey, England, how about this for, you know, 385 trillion billion dollars that we would have spent on this war, a civil war. Could you guys have a civil war and tell us who wins? Well, what if instead of it just being a country America just like, Hey, we're having a civil war. Yeah. Anyone in the world is free to turn up to war's owners. We've named it. I just sign up for one of the sides. And you will pay you 50 bucks. Open, open Mike. It's like a pick up, it's like a pickup game of Frisbee. Yeah. You know, you should. They will assign the teams when you get there. Yeah. But also

shirts, shirts, yeah. But if one of the teams wins a lot of bad things, just be aware of that when you're competing. So in war, it wouldn't be shirts versus skins. It would be bulletproof vests versus skins. Yeah. And you'd not believe high-off than bulletproof vests. It's uncanny. It must be something about like how red, red people wearing red shirts in soccer. Sort of weird to go first. But more likely to win because they're more energized. This is a very, very niche soccer reference, but I do think it's relevant. And like 2008 or something, Portsmouth football club made their goalkeeper kid have around them holographic strips on it because they thought it would make the striker notice the goalkeeper more

and be more likely to shoot right out them. And I believe that season Portsmouth considered their most average goalers. Almost because the strikers were like, well, I can now see the goalkeeper incredibly. Yeah, I don't even have to look directly at him. It's like my periphery can just follow him. I was hoping that with holographic strips, it would have that sort of weird effect. Oh, it's like a 3D goal.

You look it in the right way. You can see like a magnifying, a microscope. High good of a goalkeeper. Butterfly. Of a sports jersey without bead. Have a magic eye, sports jersey. It is a really good idea. That looks like the area next to the goal.

But you've got to unfocus your eyes and refocus and really spend quite a bit. You've got to want to see it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, you got it. But maybe the subconscious is picking up on it. Like if you were dressed up like grass next to a goal post, I feel like that would help you.

I wonder if is there rules that you can't have your jersey look like grass? Yeah, like you can't be camouflaged. Do you think that's actually in the rulebook of Annie sport? Yeah. You cannot look like grass. Yeah, can you wear a turf suit? A turf suit.

A turf suit. Like, yeah. Yeah, I mean, you can get, you can, you can cut up those strips of turf. Can we sew those together in some kind of? Because it feels like you would, you'd be able to, you know, a lot of the time they're wearing sponsors, right? But what if you just wear the product of your sponsor?

To. Which is turf. Yeah. You just get all the turf companies. And this is turf, the earth, with grass, not the trans exclusionary radicals. Yeah, well, I wasn't suggesting you were, you wear JK Rowland. That's a different civil war. Let's play it a different time. Yeah.

Own the two turf, so try to regain your energy. Yes, the two TERFs are trying to, um, we're getting really into the TURFs. It's a TURF. The TURF versus TURF. Trying to get that homonym, trying to win the homonym. They can only be one homonym. Homonym? Is it a homo-hym?

Is it a homophone? The homograph? No, it's not homograph because that implies looking at something, I think. Sure. So phone, it's the sound like you're hearing it. What was the other one? Sounds like you're hearing a phone, homo-nim. Homo-nim?

I don't know about that one. Well, that's the one you said. You brought that to the table, like? Well, homophone definitely sounds like it's the rightest, and I can concede that, you know, sometimes I can be a little bit wrong Not entirely at least the first half of the word was right on You know Jeffrey turf

We were talking about guns and stew earlier and I was wondering like you know We obviously it feels like you're our check-ups gun I've been hanging over the mantel piece for some time and now it's time for us to take you down and use you to beat one another to death with. Absolutely. But does check-offs gun, does that, you know, obviously, you know, if you have a gun over the mantle piece? Pastor, come up later. Somebody has to be shot with... P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P Sorry, that's what I thought you said first and then obviously I like this is a reflex issue. We're talking about that later Yeah, it's hard It's check check off's meal

Let's get a cup of lighter. Yeah, I mean what is it? Is it very rich? It's a very spicy very oily acidic kind of dish It's like a it's like an oil-based hot pot It's like a it's like an oil-based hot pot Grip it's like it was like hot pot, but instead of broth. It's a deep frying Deep fries at the table. Yeah, everybody's got their own Nutri-er. Yeah, I can't I mean this feels like this is like American hot pot Everybody's got their own deep fryer and then you just got bad bowls of batter and you got different meats and Yeah, I had different things that you can just dip into the batter and then you deep fry it. I got it I can I can hear the sound of malpractice

Getting erections all over the country, but luckily they have hired north-nourished people to do Go on down or American hotpot got everybody got their own Fucking Go on down or American hotpot. Got everybody got their own thing. They look. That's very, very good. Fucking fucking, fucking really good. I was surprised we could. I really thought when you took the polls, they're you at all. I don't know.

No, I was thinking about the troubles again for a little bit. Dallas days lies, we're all back into his head. And then with only the whites of his eyes, he, he's spoken perfect northern Irish. You mentioned something earlier, I wanted to touch on where you said do North and Irish people speak very fast. And this is a very like North and Irish reference, but there is two specific Irish accents,

which is bell fast, which obviously is the capital city does have the very quick where they talk like, so this is as fast we normally talk if we weren't in the company people who aren't from North and now. But then the people who live in the rural areas, which is every one else, they genuinely talk like a mind, normally slow piece. Like where it's difficult to listen to. But like, well, how many sketches you're done? And it actually turns my stomach down. It would be, it's like walking behind somebody who's slowing you. Oh, that's awful.

Yeah, like because you're already finishing their sentences in your head. You're like, yes, in the bridge. Yep, when you get to the bridge, when you get to the bridge. Yeah, yep, yep. And then, okay, yep, sure, I think I've got to go. All of the like family events with my ground, it starts telling a story that I've heard before, but I have to look at my watch and think,

I'm gonna be here for 15 minutes to hear about the time the donkey fell in the stream. I'm not a very sad story, and I'm sure we can all figure it out for ourselves. Just give me the like the Google keywords, and I reckon I could figure out what's gonna happen. Donkey, stream, ground, that was upset. It was upset.

Oh, did the donkey dream? Yeah. I like that you said that, I feel like they'd be able to swim really well. I mean, it just feels if you got such a long neck that you're built for like walking through deep waters. Such a long neck. I don't think if the donkey is having a really like

noticeably long neck. I mean't think of the donkey of having a really like noticeably long neck. I mean, it's longer than a human's. Sure. The neck of a man. It's at least two to three times a human's neck. Who do you think has the most dangerous neck of all? Like a rat man? A rat man?

I'm going to go out there and I'm going to hikki the most dangerous neck of all. This is instead of hunting an animal. You have to kiss it on the lips. Yeah, something you need an animal has lips. Well, all where the lips would be, the lip zone, the lip region, the mouth end. Sure. I think a snapping turtle would be one of the worst. Oh my God.

They do scare me, actually. Yeah. Your lips are gone. Yeah. There's no lips left up. Yeah, there's no subtitles been out. You would have to go in with the lips retract it. Mm-hmm. Like that to protect them.

Mm-hmm. But is that really a question? Is that number? Well, no, no, no. I think that they come out at the very last moment. Once you make contact, and you can control its movement a little bit. You release the lips.

Yeah. They're all screaming about in this nature documentary. We're creating release the lips. I'm interested to know whether or not you're right, whether or not that is considered kissing. If you pull the lips back in. Yeah. But then if that's not considered, I mean, you're making yourself look like a turtle. They would find that more pale.

Yeah. This is probably, we're probably describing the perfect way to kiss a turtle. That's true. Until we started, I didn't realize there was a right way. You know what? You know what I love when somebody kisses me? I like if they shape their face to look a bit more like mine.

You know, there's nothing better. And that's the thing. And so the idea is that both people do that. And they try to look a little bit more like the other person. And so as they kiss, it's like twins kissing. Identical twins. Oh, we've all been there. We've all sought them out.

It's like, oh, it's like me kissing somebody. I'm more related to than anyone could ever be. It's like me kissing somebody. I'm more related to than anyone could ever be. Step identical twin brother. Oh. That's how you would get around it online. But again, it's only kissing. Yeah, it's only kissing.

It's only kissing. I'm also it's only kissing with the skin above the lips. Yeah, that's right. Yeah, because you both. That's right. You both may just have looked like a turtle, which is the perfect midpoint. I mean, I think this is an exciting thing. We're working in what must be a very,

the very bleeding edge of internet pornography, which is finding new ways for people to be intimately connected with one another without being blood relatives. And ways to make it on one level okay, on another level, still quite naughty. And the step identical to in kissing, but not with the lips. Kissing with, but I want to know what you would call that, the skin covered tooth lumps. Yeah, firm tooth lumps. I wonder if the listeners are imagining what we've been doing this whole time.

Well, we're pulling our ellipse into our own mouth. Into our own mouth. So it's almost like there's a suction, but it's all through the muscles of the lips. This is the mouth that we're doing. The mouth that we're doing, the mouth that we're doing, and holy phrase. What I would describe is how a young person would impersonate an old person.

Like a toothless person. That's the kind of kissing we're doing. Yeah, we're trying to, yeah, exactly. We're doing that as either somebody old or somebody with very poor dental hygiene who's not taking care of their things. And then that facial structure disappears and it all sinks in.

The teeth and the cheeks just sort of sink in. Like, Jet Baker did after, you know, he lost all his teeth and looked, I'm gonna say it, not as handsome. For my tastes. Sure, thank you. I think that if we were going in for a kiss, I think he would struggle to make his face look exactly like mine, to give me the kind of kiss that I like.

Of course. Yeah. It's understandable. Now, before we wait, oh yeah, what was the kissing the neck of the- The most dangerous- Well, it was- it was- it was- it was given Hickey to the most dangerous neck of all, but then I made it just to- Yeah.

The kissing animals on the lips. That ruse of question, my mind, is a snake all knack or does it no longer become knack whenever there's no body after it? Do you mean it's just head and tail or is that head and neck? Well, it depends. I guess it depends on which end you start looking for. Yeah, I guess that's true. If you start looking from the tail end,

then the tail gets to frame the debate. That's true. Hestory is written by the winners. Yeah. The first mover advantage. That's definitely on a rattlesnake. It's hard to say, it's a rattlesnake would be hard to say it's a rattlesnake. You know, that's, you know, that he's rattling his neck. I mean, but is that just like coxics?

Is that just kind of like a bit of spine that he just shakes? Sorry. I just got a real chevro, they're abusing someone shaking their head and they're like, the bones are third-dack. Oh, rattlesnake. When you go, whenever you're in danger, like you're like, you just, you hear the bones. I think that could be a defensive mechanism. Oh, it would be.

Yeah, it's just so off-putting. Oh, if I was being, well, I was gonna say that I was being mugged, but if I was mugging someone, and they did that, and maybe they were like, well, no, in fact, I'm not doing this. If you could like, if you had like one bone as well, that just didn't have any cartilage,

and you could grind the bones against each other, I think that that would put off anybody. You could chase bad guys away. You could be a vigilante. And I was like, no! So this is a superhero. And his superpowers that he has no cartilage in his duet. Yeah.

And he uses the viscerally unsettling sound of his bones grinding together. The bone on bone man. The bone grinder. The bone. Yeah, I've still got him down as rattle neck. Just to let me remember. Yeah, of course. Maybe that's how he discovers it.

Yeah, that's how it just starts with this. Holy damn it. Somebody runs away. This happens in ProMiscule when somebody's picking on him. Yeah. Meanwhile, he's walking around and going, Oh, I just ran in the mall, and shit. Like that, but he uses it for good.

Yeah, I mean, I wonder why they were picking on him. With no cartilage, and who talks like a very old man in primary school. Yeah, but when we were talking about vigilante, I've been thinking about this for a couple of weeks because it doesn't, it doesn't make any sense. But like the idea that you would go put out fires that you see around the city. But then it would be like, I guess you'd be extinguishing people's cigarettes and like cakes and all, you know. You're thinking like, like a straight, like a Bob Monster? Yeah, like a, yeah, Batman style. He swings in through the window. He puts out a straight, like a Bob Monster? Yeah, like a Batman style. He swings in through the window.

He puts out a fire in your fireplace. Every console in the house. Yeah. Like that, this is him pinching, like that. You've got like rose petals on your bed and you're luring your beloved to the enemy. Luring. Yeah, luring. That's the anniversary. Yeah, lures. Good thing it's Vigilante. Vigilante.

Vigilante. You're tricking yourself to the end. You know what, beloved's a life. They see a trail of rose petals and they can pebble to follow it. You play a little, yeah, a little kazoo. The most romantic of the world. Vigilante. Anyway, I don't know.

I think I'd play, um, oh, play, I'm thinking about the troubles again. All Lang's sign, I think that would be... I'm throwing petals out like this, and I'm lower here this way, honey. And then a lightning bolt outside in the shadow of a vigilante pharma. Yeah, the shadows over my face. Like that. Then you hear these completely dark. Don't fuck. I don't know. He said, don't fuck. Yeah, wow. Is it just fire? He wants to extinguish him or any flame, possibly between us. Yeah. The sparks of romance.

Exactly. He doesn't want any even metaphorical fires. That's why he's such a vigilante. Yeah. I mean, should I write this down? I've been at the gym. But then are they like the traditional firefighting forces? Are they warning people against taking not the law into their own hands, but the smothering?

Literally taking the flames into your own hands and extinguishing candles with your hands and like dad, he's got that little flower that clowns have and uses that. Like that, he could be a clown as well. I mean, they saw ideas and if anything, getting more coherent. He could be a clown. I also don't just run this down,

arc and undalong it. Arc and yeah. Do you reckon that there's someone on the inside of the fire? Inside the fire. No, I'm at the fire, firefighters like here. On his side like how Gordon. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, probably probably the warden of fire warden Gordon. Yeah, yeah, warden, Gordon. And he does any, and this vigilante far from it, does speak with a very stereotypical Swedish accent. Of course, he goes, no, you, whoa, whoa, Warden, go.

That's what Swedish people say. Very stereotypical. Yes, what about this mono-typical? There we go. All right, goodnight. That's a black head. I'm trying to move away now from the from the hour, vigilante fire fighter, right?

Yeah, but no, you've been thinking about that for a few days. I mean, I've had those two words. I mean, I didn't have them, you know, in my mind, he didn't swing into people's houses yet and extinguish the fire in the people's houses. I think he'd come down a pole. Yeah. Oh yeah, he would jam a pole into the house. That was like, through the window. Just like straight through the roof just comes just. Oh, smash is no.

Derry. Slides. I'd be a very credible son. Oh, smashing of a roof. And I just like he's not he's not really... He's wearing shorts, so you can hear his thighs. He's like sliding down the thing on the pole.

And he takes his pole with him when he leaves. And he climbs back up and he slides it back out and then he uses it to kind of like, you know, he drops it on the ground and then he... Maybe pole vaults, sort of sw, swings across that would be good. That would be good. Instead of it's sort of the opposite of Spider-Man, right? Or instead of swinging from the tops of buildings.

He's sort of pole vaults and he doesn't sling webs which are strong under 10-siles straight. He utilizes his ability to shoot out poles which have strong compressional strength. Oh compressional. I just thought he had one pole. Well, I don't know. I think my guy might be able to shoot out the poles. Where did they come out of his wrist? I was going to say his arms were like terrible. Spider-Man's words has to be least capped can with a flirty form. Yeah, the poles in the wrists.

And then one, these are the poles that burst through his flesh, every can of these shoots one. Very hard to keep a sacred eye down. That they have another pager, your arms are so dense. So cold. I mean, this is very getting very close to the, to the, we had a version of, you know, maybe 200 episodes ago, a version of a Wolverine

who would push a, like a rock out of his hand every time he needed to fight. And he was like, I like that. And we'd come out like that. It could be related, but he's a pole. It's like, I remember that idea, but then does he just hit people with the rock? Yeah, and and then as a like as a duo when they used to be together probably when they started out as

I was wearing and and and this guy in this No, no rock hand is that they're Wolverine rock hand and pole vaulting pole hand guy. Yeah, they probably when they started out there probably I wouldn't be surprised if they were a step identical twin but they were called sticks and stones. Oh, that's great. Yeah, because I was going to say I think Wolverine rock hand and pole hand bothered all the grit. No, no, no, no, sticks and stones. I'm very old. And they may break your bones. They will.

Yeah. But later on, they will either extinguish your flame and Wolverine stone, rock, Wolverine will, will still break your bones. I, I, yeah, I just, I just like, yeah, I like that vision of the polls crashing down to earth and somebody, you know, swinging pole vault style from the roof top. I think it's a very funny image to be out of pole vault man just getting trep top because that's the thing. Spider-Man, right? Spider-Man is still agile in the air even if he falls. He's not the catch themselves. Yeah, pole vault man's going to be getting knocked over constantly.

He's basically on stills on hands. Yeah, and he's getting tangled in like electrical wires that are very high up. He's like, oh, she's lands on the electrical wires. And I guess he's just made a rubber suit so that he's like, I'm not gonna almost die again from being like, again, because it absolutely did happen many times. And he's been revived.

That's the thing with getting electrocuted is that it does stop your heart, but then it starts your heart again because the electricity keeps going through, you know? Mm-hmm. If it's short enough. Remember about five minutes ago you said, I'm trying to get away from this idea. Yeah, vigilante five minutes.

I know, but he's, you know, it's such a, he's got such a, uh, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep. He's got a whole diverse in him, right? He's got his siren song played on the kazoo. Yeah. Foo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, is it interesting that the word siren, or you know, like a fire siren or whatever,

was originally would have come from the sirens Greek mythology whose heavenly song lured you towards them. Whereas nowadays Sorry, I'm gonna finish the sentence Everybody knows where it's going and everybody knows how unsatisfying it's going to be when I get there It's just great to hear somebody from Belslaw Speak life But now the siren is played to, if not make you run away, at least pull over to the side of the road and allow the sirens to pass.

That happened us this very day. Going up Sydney Road today. You go. That's right. I've been showing all of the sights and scenes of... I've seen all the stupid old studios today. Yeah. Mostly from a distance.

From a distance, yeah. One didn't even see, but he saw the beginning of the street and the sign that said street closed. But he did see the one where our children were, were, were, made in. I don't think I conceived any children. Oh, you didn't. In that, in that building. In that building.

Oh, I was going to say, I was a John Deh have terrible news. Yeah, because you have quite a few. In case anybody who isn't in the discord has not seen this in the discord, I thought there was a great nickname for Andy that came up in the discord, which was Coney, because Andy has an army of children. I didn't say that in the discord, that's very funny. Yeah. 2012.

That's how many children I am. Coney Matthews. Does that sound good? Does it remind you of anybody else's name? Well, Coney Matthews, oh, I guess it sounds a bit like my dad's name. He's also called Coney. He's called Coney Matthews. Which is why that's such a good pun. When you were mentioning my last name earlier on, my brother was Nick Neiman's school for a while was Coney because of Maccone and because of how people said it

like you were it was Maccone. Maccone. So he got called Coney for a while. And then around 2012 that stopped very suddenly. Oh, I mean, it's not all that. It's not all that. It's not because he moved to Africa and became a warlord. There are.

Yeah. Yeah. We don't actually know what he was doing with the kids. Yeah. Maybe he's doing something important. That's true. He couldn't have been doing something. He could have been, you know, so maybe this isn't the good area. Maybe this isn't the good area.

For sure. I mean, I don't know enough about African history personally, but I feel like this is pretty sick. But I do know enough professional. Wait. Personal? Professional. Oh, personally. I don't know. I know enough professionally. Yeah. Wait. Personal? Professional. Oh, personally.

I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know,

I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, know, I know, know goes one way. I think it would be great for young people who are successful to keep giving careers to people in their family who are older and older than them. Casting their fathers who then are able to then cast and give careers to their grandfathers. Sure. And then go into even the old, the elderly, like dead. Yeah. I don't know about going into the dead. I think then the idea gets a bit sort of confusing, but that's where I like it. But I think that's where you like it.

Cause I mean, imagine getting your great-grandfather a job, you know, or you get him in a very high up position in a, in a, sort of like a law firm or something like that, but it is just his coffin. And then it's open and it's at behind a desk. And he goes, oh, what the fuck is that? And he goes, oh, that's, you know, the director. He's the one of the partners. How did he get this job?

There's a grip, as it has to be hard to be the guy who marionettes all the day of the world. And I have the perfect name for it. And I will just say I have come up with this idea a matter of years ago. There's a grip, that's nice to be hard to be the guy who marionats all the dad around us. And I have the perfect name for it. And I will just say I have come up with this idea a lot of years ago. Yeah. Harbor cadavers. The amber cadavers. And that's the kind of the great thing. It's like one of those people who like takes care of like one of those cats that's been left a lot of like a million dollars or whatever. When somebody died, when their owner died. And you go, yeah, all the money's going to the cat.

That is still alive. That is still alive, yeah. Do-do-do, here I am brushing it with this gold brush and things like that, but then to be able to like, to sort of... Puppet? Yeah, puppet being like a Bernie at Sanders. Bernie at Sanders house.

Bernie at Sanders house. Oh, we can't do birdies was not that we can't burn is what I was trying to do but now I am asking a comedy film where is Bernie Sanders up the curtall curtall Sanders. Bernie Sanders has died. Okay, I've seen everyone's tried not to let everyone do it. It could just be, people are like bringing Bernie Sanders to Colonel Sanders house against his will because he doesn't wanna be near any capitalist. Yeah, yeah, of course. And they're like making him seem like he's really into it and they're opening up and as well.

So, but is he dead? No, he's a lot. He's a lot of good. But he's just really doesn't want to be a- But it's actually he doesn't have a lot of agency. Yeah. He's not dead, he's certainly not doing well. We're not saying it's a good thing, I think we're just saying it's hard.

I'm really having a great time here. I really like KFC. It's possible to create art that depicts people under taking acts that you don't personally agree with. Yeah. Okay, that's why Navakov could write Lolita. That's right. And that's why we're able to come up with Bernie at Sanders. I'm not saying it's good for people to do this

to Bernie Sanders. No, I don't think so either, yeah. But I'm saying that if you were to get him at Colonel Sanders' house while he was alive. What I'm saying is that this work of art addresses and discusses important issues that would otherwise be unaddressed. Like, what would it be like if someone did take Bernie Sanders to Colonel Sanders's house

and marry an atom like it was we get at Bernie's even though he's still alive? I mean, we should be able to have these discussions and if we can as a society, then we risk, anyway. It's, yeah, the free speech issue we risk. Anyway. It's a free speech issue. Yeah. Yeah. I really find the image in my head

and Bernie Sanders trying to fight back. Well, some people are just holding him still, making him a check and vary. And as much as it's also very upset. Yeah, while he's still kind of yelling, they're having to yell louder and to make his voice still, do we while doing his voice? He's going, he's still kind of yelling, they're having to yell louder. And to make his voice still, to do me while doing his voice,

he's going, he's going, release me. I don't want to be here. This is, I mean, here I guess my will. So, police arrest these people and then over the top they're going, I am enjoying this. This is a great time.

May I have another piece of chicken. Thank you. I'll let that in there, man. I'm putting chicken in there. Not by this. I see me as a vegetarian. I see me probably wouldn't be into that. Do you think that's the worst thing? That's why I wouldn't be into it. I'm really not into this because of a vegetarian. The rest of the stuff I could take her leave. I

could take her. The piloting my body against my little that's fine. I think you know, somebody's just gonna, you just gonna make it and then see how it goes. Yeah, I mean, you've got to, I mean, I would be interested to see what are the circumstances that lead to. You know, like, you know, what I would really like is I would love that to be the opening scene, right? That's happening to Bernie there with, we're dropped in the middle of the action.

This is great filmmaking. You know, Karen T.O.S. could drop right in the middle of the action. And is great filmmaking. You know, Karen TNO S, we're dropped right in the middle of the action. Yeah. And then cuts cut one week earlier. We depicted the chain of events that is led to people having to do this. Yeah, having to do it. Like, no other choice. When it does the one week earlier as well, to acu the Tarantino film filming the first shot was It's just a black background, but then you realize that the the camera is inside a bucket of check and they left a little When you can see the three car. Yeah looking into the bucket perfect. Yeah, we're all out of chicken

Yeah, and then it just comes up burning on sanders. That is a very that is a very fun Creative technique, I think which is just to imagine a stupid situation that your people could be in and then go back and write the, I guess you're wondering how I got here. Maybe Bernie Sanders turns to the camera and says that. All right, but against as well. Yeah. That's right.

I told you. It's a great. It's a great, great, patreon bonus, absolute of nothing else. Five ideas. Body Southerers wouldn't enjoy being part of it. Submit it.

At least submit your pictures. Do it. Alistair, you can write down. You can submit it. Submit it. You submit it. You'll get to it eventually. I your picture. I'll just do it. Alistair, you can write down. You can submit it. So, so I tell you you submit it. You'll get to it eventually. I have audience. I have.

I have a proof that the three points from a listener thing is done against the rules that I'll say. So I don't think the me submit a good picture. I have an idea. Wait, wait, you have proof? Yeah. Because one time I just asked you if I could give you three and you said yes.

Yeah. Well, I mean, sometimes it's just like, I was going to maybe break the rules today as well. Wait, wait, I just got right down this. So Sanders Sanders. I've got to write this down. I believe in the detail. He wouldn't like. Um, I am.

I mean, I wonder, you know, if we were to turn, oh, this is going to be a difficult concept to explain. Yeah. But like, but you know, the, to weekend at Bernice, um, someone has become, I think, a, you know, a very popular trope. It's not that much. No, you don't, I don't think you see it actually played out that much. No. That won't let much, no. But I'm trying to think of what is the hamburger version of Weekend at Bernays, which is the

idea that to turn the hamburger, the concept of a hamburger into a more broadly... God, I'm in trouble. I think there should be... Okay, so this is it. I'd be saying you were thinking about the troubles. No, you were thinking about the troubles. Thinking about my troubles. Hamburgering, right, the noun to hamburger something. I think means to take the end or a part of a word and turn it itself into a category of things or an approach to something. So you can then have a fish burger, you can have a veggie burger.

Yeah, it's taken the burger part, which itself originally had no meaning, but you've turned it into a suffix. Yeah. Right. And I wonder if, I mean, we say weekend at Bernie's in somebody, but it feels like that's not, it should be just Bernie's, Bernie. Yeah, or it should be weekend atting, you know, so like if you wanted to, this is a bad example, but if you wanted to weekend at Bernie's Bernie Sanders, I think you would just

call that weekend at Bernie Sanders. I regret everything about this discussion. I know, but I guess, I mean, you could do, you know, weekend at burgers. Okay, go on. And then this is somehow, this is not good, but I'm just saying, like I'm just trying to, you know, take your idea and remember that. But I love that you are, you are absolutely taking this bullet for me. Yeah, we can carry my burn. And it has become too heavy for you to carry.

Once an idea. Lay your terrible sketch premise upon me and I will carry it for you. You are very much the Jesus Christ of sketch ideas. That's right. I'm not afraid to give out the worst sketch idea of all time. You know? Has anyone done that podcast the worst sketch idea of all time. Has anyone done that podcast the worst sketch idea of all time? You get to the end of your podcast with Jesus Christ.

And you look back on the wave form of the podcast, you know, the two channels that you've recorded your podcast on. When you see this on the one wave form. You see that for some times, the what felt like the most creatively dry sections of the podcast, there is only one way for you. You say, Jesus Christ, where were you in the Rift for me? When I needed your most. When I needed your most. What I was doing, we can get Bernie Sanders. Jesus says, that's when I carried the Rift.

He was doing a Bible song. I mean, he was doing it by himself. I was doing both voices in your mic. I had put you to sleep. Yeah, it doesn't make sense. Injected your neck. I think it makes more sense than Wiccandon brothers. Wiccandon burgers is where you're trying to convince somebody that there is such a thing as a talking burger.

And completely different. Yeah, okay, right. Well, I was just, you know, and then that somehow he was like, this was a burger, a speaking talking burger that everybody thought was very beloved. It was a popular talking burger. And then, but somehow, everybody believed that he was a talking burger before you ever animated it. Yeah. Yeah.

Well, I think he actually was a talking burger. Yeah. I think he has to have been a talking burger. Yeah. For some reason, a burger making genius invented a talking burger and then the talking burger inventing genius died horribly, right? But his creation, much like Edward Sizzahands, lived on the talking burger. Everybody loves the talking burger, okay? In a difficult and divided world, it's the talking burger that was brought everybody together.

But then you accidentally eat the talking burger. Now, you have to pretend that the talking burger is still alive because the Pope is coming to dinner and he's excited to meet the talking burger. See, I want in a very similar way. You know, it was crazy, how accurate. Our ideas were except I was thinking it was like, I'm Jack Frost, I did,

where the inventor of like one of the great burger chefs will time died. And somehow I became a talking burger. He's spirit-wetted the last burger he gets. I never wanted to keep it alive. And then someone was like, I think I could probably just have a bit. And then it was too late.

And then the burger was all over. Yeah, I'm very fragile burger, talking burger. And you needed every single piece of it. And you just thought if I have one bite. I'm not perfect for why the Pope's coming because he's like, well, a spirit's in habit of this burger. Yeah, every single piece of him. You just thought it if I have one bite. That's perfect for why the Pope's coming. Because he's like, well, a sparrant's in hobba to this burger. Yeah, I've got a cup. I mean, it feels like a talking burger could be a thing

that if you were in a cult, there'd be a photo of a burger with little doogly eyes on it in the center. And you're like, oh, it's the supreme burger. And then at some point, when it's time to all meet the burger, the whole thing goes, oh my gosh, we can't have burgers. He's gonna go to the burger. We can't have burgers. We can't have burgers. He's gonna go to the burgers mansion. This is because we have an estranged. It's a cult where everyone's worships a burger. You are the guy who's like the...

Been talking to the... The earthly communication. Yeah. And you've eaten the burger so you don't have to pop out a burger. Yeah. You're convinced we'll enjoy your cult. Yeah. Maybe you believed that there was a talking burger and you just realized at the end that you were fucking insane

So they're like, oh shit. I have built a whole thing You have a moment of clarity. Yeah, one more. Yeah, I guess that's what happened to religious people They haven't epiphany of some sort, but that's the opposite of an epiphany Right, well, I mean to realize that there is no talking burger feels like If you didn't realize that feels like it's a huge epiphany. I think epiphany means in a religious epiphany is traditionally one where you realize that God is real or that your faith should be stronger or that there's something there. But the moment where you realize that the talking burger isn't really a talking burger. Yeah.

Well, I think that there's a chance that you were in a religion, but you had a regular epiphany that was not religious. Okay. Sure. Oh, that's the problem. I'm not gonna lie. You can't always control the types of epiphany. You know?

Should I write down? We can have burgers? Yeah. I think we can have burgers. I think you can write down we can have burgers. Yeah. I think we can have burgers. You can write and we can do burgers. Sure. I don't think it's a scratch as much as a film. I think that's a very weird like absurdist film. I do love the idea of a burger shift dying and going into one of the burgers. Yeah, that does.

I like then the idea of it extending you a more so than the cult that worship the burger and him just being like, I'm just a normal guy. It's trying to get to heaven. But they're all worshiping him. And then one of the guys eats that burger and then he has to convince all the rest the cults of the burger still alive. I think it would be disappointing if you were

a sentient talking burger. But you had no additional insights into the nature of reality. And people would, I don't know why, but I feel like they would assume that you would have access to some kind of higher knowledge or at least a different perspective on things. But the fact that you're just a regular guy and you don't want these followers. You know how I think he would eat it?

Is that he would come home drunk one night and the burger would just be sleeping on the burger. The burger's asleep. And you're like, oh, that's just a regular burger like that. Because it probably, in fact, lives in a burger shop maybe. Yeah, it's not a problem at all. Yeah, yeah. And so then he's like, oh, I'll just eat this.

And then in the morning, he's like, wait, no, no! I'm not if I don't fund the crumbs on his belly or whatever. I thought it tasted extra savory. Savioury. Savioury. I don't want to stick too much to weak-handed burgers. But do you think the spirit would then go into him? Maybe into his shit.

Oh, there we go. This can't digest the spirit. It just passes straight through you. That would be great, right? Because then if again, for weak-handed burgers, the whole first day where he's popping the burger, and then he's like, I've had such a bad day. I have to go and just sit down and have a think.

Goes into a shit that he hears the voice again. Yeah. And then he's to shape it into a burger patty. Yeah. And then try to get rid of the stench so that he can then put it into an actual burger again and then just make it work. But then that burger keeps telling everyone that he can then put it into an actual burger again and then just make it work. But then that burger keeps telling everyone that he ate me.

So he asked that and he'll put it in like a burger. Yeah, they turn him around. They turn him again. He's actually a really good movie. Right, right, right. Because you get like one or two days where he has to pop at the burger. But then you get the shit, you get the shit come out.

I mean, you think then he would have thought, I could just flush this and get rid of all these problems. But then he was like, I can fix this. I can no more need to pop it anymore. I think there is a simpler version, perhaps, this movie, that maybe doesn't, I'm sorry, if this corrupts the idea in any way, but actually doesn't involve any burgers.

Hey, I like this already. Wait, is this, you the idea in any way, but it actually doesn't involve any burgers. I don't like this already. Wait, you're just doing Bernie at Sanders. He's been weekend. It's the weekend. Do you think if they did a legacy call to weekend at Bernie's? Do you think it would be called Bernie's or weekend more at Bernie's?

Cause that's what you do when you do a legacy call And you take out some of the keywords from title or at. Yeah, weak, weak Bernies. We took out the end that, or the weekend. This is my, this is my pitch is a movie in which Jesus Christ comes back to earth. He returns to earth. Okay, it is the second time. But then and and and much like in the bean movie, you know, the original Mr. Bean movie in which he accidentally destroys Whistler's mother and then has to recreate Whistler's mother from a poster and some egg whites. Right. We have, Jesus comes back.

And then it's a fast. The Pope accidentally kills Jesus. And then he has to try and... He's told everyone Jesus is back. And Jesus is going to be returning, you know, and appearing before the masses. But now the Pope, I mean, I love a Pope fast in which the Pope is running around, trying to, you know, weekend at Bernice, Jesus Christ. Especially if he hits him accidentally

with one of the big septum, something like that. He said it. Very good as well, because normally the weekend, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, and the third day would be Monday, and he'd probably just come back. I mean, we can expand the whole weekend, try to be like, oh, he's still alive,

and he just sets up his own. What do you be doing? Yeah. Have you, do you think the Pope would dress up as Jesus and try to give us sermon? Maybe. Yeah. Well, I mean, that balcony,

does the sermon's own rooms very high up. It's very hard to say. Yeah. There are good cameras though these days. I do Well, I mean, that balcony, he does the sermons on a room is very high up. It's very hard to see him. Yeah. There are good cameras though these days. I don't think he would probably, in my mind, I think he's probably propping up. Yeah. Uh, propping up, Jesus and weekly him around. It's a good broom up the bottom. I guess he has to make, well, he has to make a kind of a crucifix thing tying two broom

handles together. And I don't know if I want to say nail crust to this thing so he can wiggle him like a scarecrow, but maybe just tie his wrists to it. I mean, you could use a cruiser, if actually there's a pretty good marion out too. Oh, yeah. I mean, look at the way up higher than him. Oh, yeah. Yeah, because that is a really good thing.

You just get a bit of string on there. He would take one of the crosses off of the wall. Exactly, yeah. And just get some like this. And he's already got another Jesus on this one too. He's like, which one is it? Would it be one to one with the arm moving that arm? I mean, I'm probably with.

I think you did one to wiggle the head. I think and then you use one can wiggle the legs. You know how they do that thing when they name the new pope, they change the smoke to white smoke to signify it's the new pope. Yeah. When I was in high school, a friend of mine thought that that was the sign that God had picked the pope and that they just had lined up a load of priests. And they all just sat on the chair there when the smoke went white. They're like, well, I guess lined up a lot of priests. And they all just sat on the chair and then went to smoke and white. They're like, well, I guess you're the Pope. Wow.

And I really love the idea of every priest in the world, but the Pope dies as forced to fly to the Vatican. And just cute. And they walked through. Sort of musical chairs style. When the Pope turns white. When the smoke turns white, you're the Pope. Yeah, they all start clapping.

What's that a song? What's that? What song is that referencing? No idea. I don't know where that came from. The first one turns white, you're the Pope. I don't know. I don't know. I, my brain was like, do something to the tune of the musical

chair song. And I did. But then my brain was like, what musical? There is no music. Yeah. But I liked that you're the music. The your music is on burn down 50 years ago. What are you talking about? There's not been musical chairs here for years for 25 years.

I think that there's a chance that we might have enough sketch. I reckon so. Yeah. Yeah. So we would you be okay if we go to three words from a listener? I want to talk a bit more about Bernie. Yes. I love that. Now I thought that maybe you could just provide three words since you are a listener.

I mean, I know you're not hearing your listener capacity, hearing your speaker capacity. We'd like to, Stu. We'd like to speak to the listener. To the listener, isn't it? No problem. All right, I have got three words in my head on. If you'd like to gas the mouse for the rules. Oh, yeah, great.

Okay, the first word is undercarriage. It does begin with a vowel. Oh, one. It was an investigate. Investigate. Oh, that's good. Investigate. Okay. Investigate. Oh, that's good. Investigate. Investigate.

Underwater. The second word was goat. Oh, no. Investigate, goat crime. The third word was portmanteau. Okay. Investigate. Well, it makes me think investigate. Exactly. Is this what you were hoping for? It is sort of the investigation goat. More or less. Well, it makes me think investigate exactly.

Is this what you were hoping for? It is sort of the investigate. More allowed. I mean, yeah, I mean, investigate. It's a shame that we had Inspector X, but we didn't explore the... There are no shows where a goat is the star, is there? Nothing I don't think.

Are they just too difficult to train and to deal with? They're feelings they just very gruff, right? They're just a very like, temperamental animal I feel. And they're always eating everything. Yeah. Now the word gruff, where did you get that from? What made you associate that with goats? No, let me think.

Because like gruff, does that mean that it just means grumpy? And it does feel like that's an investor, like something an investigator would be. Are goats the only gruff animal? A gruff a little, but that's not a defectional. Of course, yeah. No, of course. That's not a ridiculous one.

That's not, yeah, that's not. It's a grounded one. But I mean, like what does a traditionally grumpy animal? I think, I mean, you think of bears, I guess, as being grumpy. Yeah, but they also look like silly billies sometimes. They do look like silly billies, and they have a bit of fun.

They were spawned to waves, I'm fine, dude. If you give it a bear, it will wave back. It will wave back. I mean, it's not just everyone. Every single one of them, I can't take that, though. There was that, if you say a bear, it doesn't wave back to you, you're the problem. Yeah.

You don't sound like, oh no. Oh well. Yeah. Do you, I mean, there's that bit at the end of Grizzly Man. Have you seen Grizzly Man? I think many years ago. Yeah. And does he wife to the bear?

Well, where, you know, because he spends all this time with the bears. And then I think he ends up at some point where the bears are very hungry. And they're not bears that know him. And I think that he, yeah. And, he does not get out of that situation. And, um, Vernor Herzog says to whoever has the video camera that he just listened to the audio of, he goes, you must promise me you will never listen to this, this is terrible.

That kind of thing. Um, so they might be a bit gruff. What I would thought you were going with that was the idea of that happening, right? And like a camera just drilling along like the outline of like a hand print, etc. And it just pans up to a goat and a trail bee. The goat just chugged like a little bit of codder, so he's just like another one. Not another one. I know who did this. I think the problem with a goat as an investigator is that they would probably eat a lot of the evidence. I think that's where the comedy comes from.

Yeah. Yeah, I do like that. I like the idea of them calling in the investigate. Yeah. Like, well, look, we've done all we can here. We've got to get a specialist. They show them the evidence. He looks up at their start eating.

But that's, I mean, that's how good he is, is that he can keep getting rid of all of the evidence he looks up at their start eating. But that's, I mean, that's how good he is is that he can keep getting rid of all of the evidence and then still get his guy. I don't know if he gets a conviction, but he can still find the right guy. He never gets a conviction. Never. He's like, this is the guy, but like, that's all I can do. He's gonna walk free, but we know, we know he definitely. He's definitely him.

And in a way, justice has been served in that regard, and that we all know who the criminal is. We can't report on it, because that will be defamation. And you could get out of defamation if you had a proof that it was true. But yeah, I mean, all right. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, I, uh, something I have been, uh,

considering in the realm of, um, murders and serial killers is whether or not, if they announced that there's a serial killer on the loose, whether or not that should actually be considered good news, because, uh, if there's been a bunch of murders, there's been 10 murders recently, you have the possibility that either there are 10 murderers out there or there's one prolific serial killer. And I wonder, like, is it on the balance? Is it better news for society that actually we've consolidated all of our psychopaths into one easy to manage serial killer? Yeah, what rather than having a you know multiple and to confront the essential darkness that is at the heart of all Humanity it's trying any of us are capable of

Trying to find the murder to personal reissue. What's the perfect? What's the yeah? Yeah? Yeah Well, because there are benefits right there's benefits if there's 10 murderers, then you get to have a few more convictions that looks good on your record. Sure, you know, the point of view of the police. But it's also less work to just get one guy, you don't not have to hunt down, not use as many resources as you. I think also you'd probably get more praise to tick down a serial killer. You get more praise, that's true.

But is it, is it equivalent to the appra praise of having got down 10 people, you know? That's true. Oh, it clearly came up the street. I guess it depends on the type of murder also. Yeah, that's true. Well, I guess that was a... It was really gentle kind of murder. You know?

Well, it was more like, you know, do they have any reasoning whatsoever to be violent in this moment? Yeah, yeah, yeah. But obviously there's no reason that it's violent to murder. Sorry to be crazy here. I mean, are there any justified serial killers where they were just in a series of situations.

There's still a series. So there's still a serial killer. But in every situation, it was an un, it was, it was justified homicide based on this unlikely situation that they got themselves into. This seems more like a serial manslaughter. Yeah. I do like that serial manslaughter. The person is just so ill prepared for regular life that they keep accidentally killing people. Yeah.

Just park at the upper hills and don't know how to put the handbrake. Like, like, like, man slaughter through self-defense. Yeah, I mean, that's, that's one of the possibilities. Yeah, like, you know, you're like, Oh, well, you know, like, I mean, I guess if you were somebody who a lot of people in town didn't like, you know, very excited to see what it is. Yeah, I don't know, you know, just a lot of people in they keep trying to hurt you in real bad, you know, running you down with their car. It's like that.

Yeah. And then in self-defense. You fought back. Yeah. Or, you know, even if you like, let's say you get out of the way as it's trying to run you down and it hits a tree. So you got out of the way in self-defense. Yeah.

Is that still? I way in self-defense. Is that still? I mean, self-defense. I don't think it would be mild slaughter if someone's trying to drive you over the car. I think I mean, I would love to meet the lawyer who will take that case on where they're like, this person, if they hadn't stepped out of the way, their body could have stopped that car from hitting you. Yeah, true. I would have cushioned the blow. I would have cushioned the blow. This is at least on some level, they're culpable. I mean, everybody in town makes them.

But also the judges like, I'm gonna allow this. But again, this would have to happen, like at least three times for him to be a serial. That's right, yeah. But he gets off, he somehow gets off. And the first one, you know, and this one, and so he's like, fff. I think the hard thing with catching a serial

accidental man's power, would be that there would be no calling card, right? Apart from the fact that, because they wouldn't have a modus operandi, it would be unrelated events. And maybe the genius goat detective, that's what they spot, they realize, that the thing that links these together

is that there's no common thread. Yeah, I don't. He realizes he's not eating the same bit of evidence twice this week. Yeah, he says, these are all unrelated. These are all unrelated. Every single, look at these, look at these, look at these, look at the look at how we haven't used up any of the red thread on the spool over there. Not

a single one of these pieces of evidence is connected in any way. Yeah. So then he he drives defined a connection between every single person in the time and there's really one person that doesn't have a connection to Adi while the second has to be. I think as we everybody hates that guy. Yeah, that's also very funny for him. Invest to go to do a lot of very heavy, left-wing detective work and so we'll go, I reckon he's just the guy of what he's doing.

Like, you know, one guy shoots it in with a shotgun. And he, I guess he dodges. He ducks down and it ricochets off of a metal thing. Yeah, the shotgun does. Yeah. Well, all the pellets. All the pellets ricochets off a concave surface. Yeah.

Like a satellite dish. Like a reflect back concentrated. Yeah. It's a one point. Like that. Yeah. Someone has just a single dart. Anyway, all the shotgun pellets have gone through one after another in series

instead of in parallel. This is a great one for strange unit unit. Oh, yeah. A nice headshot. This weird cry. Go who was hated. I think that's perfect. Yeah, great. Oh, sure. Thank you very much for those words, by the way. No problem. I was really tempted to do midnight because he moves low because that's on my tassure,

but I thought Andy might figure it out after midnight. I don't think I would. I'm not that perspicacious. Is it your band? It's literally nothing. Okay, great. Wow. It's something we made up at university

and I just keep wearing the T-shirt. Wow, that's great. I mean just even having his t-shirt that lasts for a minute. It still fits you from university. Yeah, well, it's no slaves now as you can see. Oh, really cut a lot of holes and it to make it fit. You didn't have arms in university. No, I got those. They came in later. Yeah, these are new. Yeah, I got my add-on. Now, that would be really something. If you're like, if you had to get adult limbs, if your baby legs fall off, and your adult legs come out feet first, slowly pushing through, what? What, what, breach? I think I'm a breach feet first. Would you have to get an adult torso,

or would the torso and head be the only things that are a man? I think that, I mean, I assume about adult head. I don't know, no, no. Baby head falls off when your head all day, that merges. You know what always makes me feel anxious is thinking about having an exoskeleton and having to get out of it to shed it.

It would feel so good when you're out though. I mean, it would be horrible. But that bit where you're partially out and you're like, I'm stuck. There must be so many crabs and stuff like that that just die like partially. Really shows you how I've been like ruined by social media. Or like by current like movies and stuff. When you said that, I just assumed you might like a big max suit. A big max. Oh, a max suit. Like a robot thing and I was like, oh, yeah, that would be scary.

I then used to don't talk about crabs and I was like, what do I do? I can tell you. But yeah, I mean, think the the mex suit is the is very much the, yeah, I guess it literally is an exoskeleton, isn't it? But I think the vision of, I guess, the Knights in shining armour or futuristic Mac warriors who have grown too big for their Mac suits cracking their way out and crawling limp and fleshy onto the ground so vulnerable until they're deep in the you're a bird. Yeah. Swooping down. The, do you mind if I go through sketch ideas? I'll stay out. I wish you would.

We've got business Irish or disclaimer Irish. And this is going to be a new line of work for a stew in the United States of America. I'm thinking. But really any United States. Yeah, you're in the United Kingdom. Correct. Now is it many kingdoms or it's one kingdom that's united?

I think it's one kingdom that's very barely united in the United States. It's entanguously united. But they're all separate countries. Kind of. I believe there also is referred to as a principality. Oh right. So it's like a state or a pro. In many ways it is the United States of Britain.

Yeah. But then, yeah. Within the United Arab Emirates, that one is like there is a multiple sort of kingdoms. So that is like a United Kingdom. I think. We should change that to you. Yeah. I'll bring it up on my get home.

Do you mind? Yeah, no problem. Just at the border. The United British Emirates, are you interested in taking that on? I mean, I personally, I'm not interested, but I prefer to myself as being Irish normally. But if any other breads less than one, they're welcome to. I'm happy to deal with the logistics. Thank you.

I mean, this could, I don't know. I'm not really across the geopolitics of it all, but I know you've been having a lot of trouble with Brexit and the good Friday. That's all been in that sort of thing. This could have been fine. This could solve it. Yeah, this is exactly it. This is what's really going to put you out of it.

I don't know, it feels like we could give one of the conservatives. They just need a new topic to unite the conservatives again. And I think maybe this could be it. We got proxy civil war or stadium war. Just get a nice location where you can have your civil war. Some way warm. Some way warm, yeah, nice place, but maybe that has the ground that can change,

like in a Pokemon game. I don't know. And we have the open mic pickup game of civil war. And that's when you tell everybody, all right, we're gonna be having the civil war. So if you wanna come and just join in, 50 bucks or whatever like that and pick a side, you know, we'll pick up anything. And then within that, it's a slightly different idea, but I've put Everett and Down the

Bullet Pro Vests versus Skins. Oh, yeah, I'm very excited. It's for like a more of a kind of, you know, a fun backyard war. Backyard war. Family war maybe, you know. Nice. Then we've got the turf versus turf, turf war. Back yard war. Family war maybe. You know, nice. Then we've got the turf versus turf turf war. And of course, there's a huge battle over how they should spell turf

in turf war. Yeah. It's a big part of it as well. And that's trying to who gets the word the home, the home of phone turf. Then we got the American hotpot, personal deep fryer at the table thing. You know, you can buy a, you know, I wouldn't be surprised. You know, like I said, those raw meats that you get like for the, you know, big, for a hotpot, you get like just a,

like a table of like marshmallows and all sorts of weird, like sweet stuff that they'll put in a dip in the batter. One of the whole table, what you sit around is a big boiling fan of oil. Oh, that's the stuff, yeah. Like a Habachi grill, but instead of a grill, it's just a huge day, right?

Yeah. And it's a guy with two knives. He's like splashing the oil. Like, he's trying to chop things while they're in the oil. Oh, yeah. Everyone's wearing a visor. Yeah. This is great.

Just making little jokes. He's like splashing oil on your shirt and he's writing something in oil. Is deep frying? Is that associated a lot with Scotland? Is that like a big, big, big, big go and just get a Mars board. Yeah, that's true. It's not good. No, no. Yeah, I mean, you know, you need it once. I'll have to be like, yeah.

That's why I would. I think it would. What about this, the challenger deep fry? Right. So the challenger deep, obviously, the lowest point in the, in the Mariana Trenchy, James Cameron is one of the only two people who's been in his submarine. This is the world's deepest deep fry. Oh, it's like James Cameron gets to the bottom of it somehow, who's down in a submersible built. It's a meter and a half deep.

They don't think about the fact that the submarine's going to increase in size as it's in there because it's going to start getting more and more powder. Yeah, of course. It's not going to be able to get out of that. I don't think of those things. And of course, the metal expands and heat. We're asking pace. Rest in peace, James Cameron or James, I was going to try and make a deep fried pun and

have a single idea of what one deep fried food would be called. Cameronions. Cameron onions. There we go. Cameronion rings. Cameron. Cameron.

Cameron. James, Cameron. We got, giving a hiki to the most dangerous neck of all. And we've got kissing your step identical twin brother. We can't remember exactly what that was about. But oh, is that what I mean? Yeah, part of it was about how you change your face so that you look a little bit more like the person you're kissing.

I mean, we should ask our beloveds when we get home. Is it kissing if I kiss somebody, but I pour my lips back in? I'm sorry. If I... Feels like we could maybe get the Mormons on board. Yeah, is this cheating? Yeah.

Would you consider this cheating with me and somebody pressed our sort of our bony, our bony mounds against each other and now we're a condom on my tongue. But yeah, just the way in which it would be so sort of dry and it's, I mean, would we call it turtling? It does feel like a turtling.

Yeah, but you would want to Google that, right? No, I think we should, you think you put a poll on the Instagram after this, you know, just do the first, is it the pole from the Vigilante fire? Yeah. We've got the Vigilante fire fight. We've also got Rattle Nick. Oh, yes. We've congruined his bones. This is defense mechanism. We got Bernie at Sanders. We got Weekend at Berger. We got the Pope accidentally kills Jesus. We've got a goat detective who eats all the evidence. And then we've got the serial man slaughter guy who is hated by everybody.

I really am quite excited about the Pope killing Jesus. Yeah, I think that's very strong. Something in there really tickles me. Like the stakes are so incredibly high and the idea of seeing the Pope in this position of vulnerability Yeah, and he does it in the room by himself with Jesus. Yeah, and it's just like I reckon it happens before people even really know what's it's going on I got to work and he's just praying. I was on Jesus appears to him when he's frightened and just straight

Before I don't even know when he's frightened and just straightened. And then he's like, oh no. Like before, anyone even knows Jesus' back. Yeah. Yeah. Jesus puts his hand on a shoulder. The Pope just swings around. And actually puts him and do it up and far. Yeah. But then there are angels that come to earth

and do announce to everyone that Jesus has returned. He's communing with the Pope and he will appear. So there are actual angels there. The general population is expecting Jesus. Everything's been confirmed. Jesus is there. The angels pop in to check on the Pope. Say, how'd you go get along with Jesus? The Pope's like, Oh, he's just sleeping. Right. He's just changing. He's just, he's just, he's just doing a shit. There'd be such a great scene in the movie. Like if you play the two scenes at the same time, where the Pope thinks he's got away with it,

opens the door and everyone else is like, how good is it that Jesus is talking to me? He's like, whoa. Yeah. And the angels are there. Yeah. We just told them. We told everybody.

That's like the actual like biblical angels as well with like a thousand wings. It's like wings, they're just engines as well with like a thos and it went through just horrible like a little bit. Yeah. And then of course, oh no, that was all the sketches. That's a very hefty a list there. You've got it.

You've got it. You've got it. You've got it. You've got it. You've got it. You've got it. You've got it. You've got it.

You've got it. You've got it. You've got it. You've got it. You've got it. You've got it. Oh, it's the pan from episode 400. Yeah, the magic pan. Yeah, yeah. The magic pan. The magic pan didn't work. Stu, how about we say goodbye to you after the song?

Yeah, fine. All right, so it's good to me. B-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D- And that was one of the worst ones we'd ever done in the first round. I didn't want to say it at the time, but I was like, this is a bottom. This was really bad, and it was great that you weren't recording. Yeah. Sue, thank you so much for coming all this way. That's fine. And it probably is the furthest that you can travel to get to a podcast. It was 25 hours of travel.

I would like to everyone know, this is the first place where I came. Yeah, like I did. And did you watch the 400th episode of Two of the Thing taking the place? I didn't, and I'll tell you exactly why I did that because I forgot to download it. But I opened it, I did not play it, I was like, ah, I think that's probably for the best. Yeah, I watched a good portion of it. Yeah, it's a lot, it's a lot. And you know, why would anybody?

But thank you so much to everyone who has. I think it would have been really cool if you'd come in finishing watching episode 400 as you step into the podcast studio. We hit record and you're there. Yeah, you can just hear the end of the episode of the angryly leaving the studio. You've been there for so long. And we're now officially in season five. Do you want to plug anything else, too? I've appeared on...

I think this is season four, actually. Do you think? I think I might be season five. I don't know. I mean, I'm the one who uploads the episodes and says what season they are. Yeah, sure. I know, but I just said the halfway through it became season five. Halfway through this episode.

Yeah. You want me to change it now. So season four was actually only like two episodes long. Yeah. That's exactly what I want. Great. Yeah, if I remember correctly, I have to die at the end of the episode.

I think because it's like the season zero, there would be, you know, zero to 100. The season season. I think season one, but oh, yeah, for like 200 episodes. Yeah. Yeah. Anyway, you're plugging for like 200 episodes. Yeah. Anyway, plugging the first 100 episodes. Yeah, I'm just gonna go back and listen to those if you ever want. Yeah, I you know I've appeared on some podcasts. That's from my Twitter feed.

Who knew it? With meds to it. And that's about it. No, I haven't been on other things, but. Yeah. I just did sci-fight, which was a live comedy debate about the topic science-killed magic. And I think that's going up as a podcast, I'm going to say. I mean, there's somebody almost died right before that podcast. There was somebody in the back of the car. And he had to replace somebody who got hit by a car. No, I was first and third speaker because our original first speaker was in a car accident.

They're fine. Okay, that's great. I got hit back a car this year. Did you have a crazy one? Yeah, by my own Uber driver. Wow. Yeah, I have to know what rating did you give them? I'm gonna tell you an eye on you, right?

I still give them a five car really them? I'm going to tell you Nile under you, right? I Still give them a five car really. I'm going to explain what happened. I was going down Amsterdam. I actually the salary went down for the first time this year. And I was in a hurry because I had to go to London Which is far away from where I live to get the train to go Amsterdam. So I got a new home from work The Uber driver was the most chatty Uber driver I've had. It was very, very polite. It was talking to me about Amsterdam, exciting me things to do. I got out of his car, closed the door, walked around behind the car, and he just reversed over. And then he turned right to me and said,

sorry, the reversing sensor wasn't working. And I just was like, but you can see. Yeah. And I had already reared a little more. So I got out of the car. Oh, my God. And then I was just in shock that I'd been hit by a car that I sat still for like an hour.

And then I literally put a bag of frozen peas in a rastling napod and went to London. I'd sped the two dead stomps to the dominant tennis field. Oh no. That was a good trip. Yeah, great. Yeah. I was a spin to you earlier on.

I wrote the worst sketch. I had anyone's ever written while in was sure I was I was quite high. The first time I'd ever taken marijuana in my life on the and I turned to my beloved and said, I think this is the funniest I've ever been. Let's write a sketch of the next day I read the note, putt that just said weird Aldi. They said weird Aldi, names all of Aldi's products.

The entire side of it. You know what? I don't think that's the worst sketch in the other type of baby. Weird Alan, he owns all of our least products. Not the entire schedule. I'd rather... You know what? I don't think that's the worst sketch I've ever been in. I don't think that's even the worst sketch I've ever been on this podcast. Today. Yeah. Could you promote anything?

Oh yes. I am on the podcast What the Fleck, where me and my good friend Matthew, try to come up with what we expect the plot of movies to be based only on the poster of the movie. You've been on before. I have appeared on it. It was a wonderful episode. We did the movie A.I. Which somehow was weirder than the one that we actually made, which involved mutant Helio Jewel-Alasman's unjark-Alasboy and somehow the real movie was weirder than the movie. And also I'm on Twitch like twice a week at the macaroni prince. Macaroni prince, it's a real good time. And if you want updates on that join the

two in the think tank discord where we get updates every time Stuart streaming. Yeah, I do feel really bad about that because Brian who's started up said I've started it up so that anytime you or Al stream it will opt it and Al's not stream since. time you or Al stream, it will opt it and I was not streamed since. So it's more or less just my channel. That's okay. Very happy with that. Thank you so much for coming all this way. No problem. And Andy, thank you for coming all this way. It's the first in person when we've done. It's crazy. And out of all of us, it felt like I was the one who was the least likely to make it to this episode. And yet here I am. We did it. We would have done a pit run or something.

Thank you so much, Stu. That's no problem. And we love you. I'm going to just die off camera. Yeah. Oh.