Two In The Think Tank - 410 - "WHY THE LONG HAUL FLIGHT"

Episode Date: January 22, 2024

Horse Airplane, Citizen Lexicologist, Translator Explosion, Just Joke King, Chip Hack, Monal Unlabelled Supermarket, Hot Pets, InSanitarium, Some Body Got Me PregnantCheck out Stupid Old Studios' COMEDY LAB here and support the artist fund if you can.Gustav and Henri Volume 2 is now available to purchase in Australia here.You can support the pod by chipping in to our patreon here (thank you!)Join the other TITTT scholars on the TITTT discord server hereHey, why not listen to Al's meditation/comedy podcast ShusherDon't forget TITTT Merch is now available on Red Bubble. Head over here and grab yourselves some material objectsYou can find us on twitter at @twointankAndy Matthews: @stupidoldandyAlasdair Tremblay-Birchall: @alasdairtb and instaAnd you can find us on the Facebook right hereThe prodigal George will be back editing the podcast soon, we promise. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey folks, it's Mark Marin from WTF. I've stayed at Airbnb's before, and I'm sure many of you have too, but why not make this year where you take your own place and Airbnb it? You can Airbnb a spare room or even your whole home while you're away. Airbnb it in a way that works for you.

Whether you could use the extra money to cover some bills or for something a little more fun, your home might be worth more than you think. Find out how much at Airbnb.ca-host. Hello and welcome to two in the think tank. Tank intercontinental edition. Yes, Salisdair. They said they said it probably was still going to get done. They said that the conditions under which we record this podcast couldn't get more, couldn't get worse.

And yet, and yet, I think we we today we may have found several exciting new ways to Make recording the podcast more difficult Opposite sides of the world for the first time. I have been out in minus 13 today Wow, I was out in with with no gloves for a very small amount of time while I was putting on somebody else's gloves a child and I got to tell you my fingers literally like Got into a painful cold state Shouldn't they say that you should always apply your own gloves before you apply the gloves of others? Isn't that one of the rules? Yes

I mean that that would make sense. You know, it makes sense for face masks, but it wouldn't make so much sense for face masks if for some reason the face mask would make you unable to put on other people's face masks. Well, if you had to apply the face mask with your face. So if you had to use your lips to apply the other person's face mask.

Yes, so I mean, for horses, I was gonna say in a you would in a horse airplane. Yeah, in a horse airplane. Always apply other people's face masks first. Other people's or other horses or on a horse airplane do you think that horses are people? plane, do you think that horses are people? Why the long whole? I think horses are people. Why the whole whole flood because I'm trying to get to the big race. The big race that stops the nation. This is the show where we come up with five sketch ideas. Idea number one, horse aeroplanes.

It's already written down. It's already written down It's already written down and I'm Alistair George William Trumblay virtual and what's your name? I am Andy Matthews Andy and he met you Now what about this is an idea everybody loves a continental breakfast? How about this intercontinental breakfast? It's just like a continental breakfast, but they launch the croissants at you from across a national border. Or no, it would have to be a continental border. So it would have to be on the continental border and then you would want the buffet to be in Asia. But the dining area is in Europe.

And I'm not sure whether or not... Would it... Yes? Where's the continent border? Is it at the end of the tectonic plate? I don't know. I'm not I don't know. I'm not a uh A a gastrogeologist Which is I imagine the sort of people would you consider yourself?

incontinental Did you just disappear or you just i'm still here having a big old breath i'm still breathing Yeah I'm still here. I'm having a big old breath. I'm still breathing. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's really good. Do you think that when inter intercontinental breakfast, could it also be where all the, oh no. Yeah. No, it's okay. It's okay. It's fine. It's fine. It's our first big intercontinental error. Do you think an intercontinental breakfast could be all of the the continental breakfasts mixed together? That seemed like intercontinental Yeah, it could be I was hoping that it could be like we could take the intercontinental from the intercontinental ballistic missile but my version I think would have to be an intercontinental ballistic breakfast and

That would because I wanted the the croissants, as you may have heard me say, to be launched at you from across the continental boundary. Yeah. I guess, I guess if all the foods were just imported from other continents. That's true. And then you know, flying on a plane, I suppose a cargo plane is in a many ways them being launched. I agree. You just want them to have their own rocket that they would have, you know, in order for the expense to be justified, they would have to be such a fancy cross-ont. We have achieved lunch. Alastair, do you think that when Elton John, when he is in the last stages of life, and

I imagine he's still giving concerts, he's no longer on tour but he's giving concerts from a- The last stages for him or his last stages? Yes, exactly right. But he's now in a gurney. Do you think he will amend- What's a gurney? A gurney is one of those hospital beds that you can wheel around? Ah, yes.

Feels like a word from a different time. It does. And it's kind of similar to a gurney. Take a gurney at our gurneys is what they say at the gurney Warehouse. Happy. Happy. Yeah, I mean, I guess it's a perfect name for a Gurney museum. Gurney, Gurney. There is also an island called Gurney. Is there? And what about, what's the other word for like a, that's like this, that's for like a sports jersey?

That's jersey, I think is what you're thinking. No, no, there is another word that's for like a sports jersey. That's jersey I think is what you're thinking. Oh no no there is another word that's like gurney but I think it's like yeah. Sports jersey. A word that's more like gurney than jersey already is. Yeah. Oh two words that are almost as possible as it's close for two words to be without Being the same word you want something that's even closer than that Yeah Wow Because Jersey is already an island another island in the again Genzi wait. Is that right?

Think a Guernsey is a thick-knitted navy blue sweater worn by fishermen or a sleeveless football shirt worn by Australian players. So that's a Guernsey. Yeah. You're right Alistair there was a word that was more like Guernsey than Jersey. It turned out the word was Guernsey. I apologize. It was Guernsey.

Well, you know what, anytime I need to win an argument, I can just pretend I look something up. Oh, that's true. There is a special kind of accent. Would you call it an accent or just a voice that you use when you're reading out something from a reputable website? You just got to pause a couple of more times to make it sound like you're reading. Oh, yeah.

It's called the reader's voice. Apparently, the reader's voice is used when taking words from a paragraph written on a web page. That was really good. That was incredible to the point where I don't even know how deep to go into this. How deep this goes? Yeah. Andy, I completely ruined the flow of your Guernsey-Gernie thing. There wasn't anything. I don't think I had anything. The island of Guernsey and you're going to go into the museum that they're going to have there So there's three things called Guernsey a thing a word that almost feels like it's it's almost as untouched as the very island of Guernsey

Sounds like it is Isn't it crazy that we've triple dipped on Guernsey before we've explored, as we've said on the podcast before, some of the brilliant single syllable words that are yet to be utilized. And yet we're going back for a third helping of Guernsey before we've even tried Flant. Well, yeah, and Slonk is still up for grabs. Slonunk lying there untouched on the on the conceptual buffet. Yeah, djunge. Djunge. Djunge is still there up for grabs. It's still not been cleaned. Not a nibble has been taken from djunge and what you want me to scrape all of this into the compost kids you haven't touched your juns

No, good. No more Guernsey until you've touched your good juns And while you're at it, why don't you go touch my George? Oh Remember it was kids. I was talking to here. I know well Andy You got to remember that George doesn't have a meeting yet I'm gonna put something really credible and Something very wholesome and credible Okay. All right, let's go. You're a parent of children. These are your children. You're young children. Okay imagine this scenario You say all right kids touch my George

What could your Jewish possibly be in there? It's a bear in mind the tone of voice that you've used. It's the individual bread rolls that are about to be needed that all of the members of the family are needing for themselves. But I'm off busy creating new definitions for one syllable words. And I could use the kids to touch my June so that it could be ready to go into the oven. Don't you think that's a wholesome thing? Hmm.

Touch my June. Alright, I'll allow it. You're released back into society. Could also be each family member has their own frozen frog that they've taken out of the freezer. And they're bringing it back to life. And the human touch is the best way to bring it back to room temperature quicker,

especially from its frozen state. And so you say, kids, can you touch my judge? So that while I'm busy, I'm on the phone at the moment with the, uh, with the, uh, Oxford dictionary. I'm giving them some new definitions. You should be able to just call the Oxford dictionary and and submit words. I can't believe this is doesn't exist. Uh, yeah. Do they all have to find them those cells? What are they? Are they just like looking through internet forums and Twitter and stuff like that?

Do you think they should have a hotline and if you spot a word in the wild, right, and previously undefined word, wild, right, and previously undefined word, or noise, any undefined noise, you contact, you call them up and you say, have you heard this one? Right, and they go, oh, brilliant, because they must have a whole lot of different definitions, like loose, like, like unpaired socks in a sock drawer. They've probably got a whole lot of definitions that don't have a pair to go with them yet. Well, I mean, how good would it be if you could also call up another line and hand in some definitions for things that you think would be useful to have a word? It's really hot.

You know what I mean? It's two hotlines and it's just all they do is pair them. Alistair, I'm having some audio, our first intercontinental audio difficulties. Can you hear me okay? I can hear you okay. Can you hear me okay? I can hear you sort of okay. It's dropping in and out a little bit. Oh my goodness. It may have been because I had the phone sitting on my knee. Well weren't we calling from the computer now because we

were getting less problems through that. That was never established as like the new default solution. I established it. I was mostly saying this in this way as a reminder that we had done it once and it fixed a lot of our phone-based problems. I don't think it had fixed enough of the problems to make it instantly the default when we've had phone success for for years now. One day of phone difficulties you suddenly assume that And let's not let's not forget all the phone difficulties we've had over that time that somebody chose to live far away Andy remember when you chose to live far away

when we do a little countdown before we start the podcast and you know where we do we try and do one two three four five alternating who says which number I'm talking to the listeners now and Alastair was saying oh there was a bit of delay on yours. Yours were coming in a bit slow like I'm solely responsible for the delay like that like he's got a blazing connection from Canada to Australia But I'm sending my packets of data back via some arcane back by camel Yeah, and he's Andy's having to use the local guy at the

What's the name of the town that you live in? Mount that the Mount Edgerton post Office who rides a donkey into each house. Donkey to the node. It's me, the MBN guy. I'll take your words down. National beast of bird network. Yeah. You say the things into a microphone, he gets it, and then he yells it to a microphone closer to an actual node. But then he has it converted into an Andy tone.

I say it into a microphone, but the microphone, there's no cable in there. It's just a little tube that goes into his ear. And then he nods like he's remembered it all all and then he runs off to somebody else Do you ever watch anything? Yeah, do you ever see guys Translating things pretty much on the go and you see them like the person who's like speaking a foreign language Which to them would be speaking the regular language, but It would be hard for them to believe that while they're standing next to a translator who's waiting.

Well, in their language, if you translate the word foreign, the word foreign translates to regular. So that's why. Oh, regular person, regular person language. Yeah. They have a different word for foreign over there. That's right. They call it sort of normal.

Yeah. And normal, they sort of normal. Yeah. And then and normal, they call that weird. They're kind of weird that way. Sorry. Oh, normal. Alistair. Yeah. Alistair. I was gonna say, but you know, when you when you see somebody have like saying something and then there's a translator waiting Yes, and you can tell that they're doing way too big of a paragraph of speaking before they let the The translator go and you're like he's not gonna get all this He's not gonna be able to remember everything that you said it's like you're force feeding a goose. He can't take anymore. His brain is too fat. Well, the sentence, you can see it start leaking out of his ears. That would be great though. That would be great though.

These sentences, they're going to be so sort of rich with meaning. Oh, imagine that, but imagine that like you like you can, so this is the sketch, right? It's a guy, he goes, oh, whatever. And then, and then the translator comes on the mic and goes, hello. And then maybe the person goes, Texas. Like that. And then the translator goes, Texas! And then he goes, questo sicchio beninizio, miscolando bene, potrei a quattro persone, o uno. E pasticcio, small boy, gara masala, eamasa and you know, Pakistani Bangladesh, and some, and so then as he's doing that, you just see the translator going,

trying to hold it in, like just trying to like remember it. Go, oh, what the? And his head is actually swelling up physically yeah his and he's his face is starting to really go red little sounds are starting to leak out of his lips he's trying to hold them in but little squeaks of

of translated words maybe a minute a minute and a half and he grabs a notepad out of his pocket and he writes down one word he grabs a vomit bag and he just yells into that for a while. And then it cuts to him and then he goes. Thank you. You know, some bullshit, you know, that's not the joke we want to do. That's not the joke we want to do.

But it's the joke we've done. And no, Andy, no, can we take it back? Is there any way to relive this moment? We don't have to joke we want to do but but it's the joke we've done and No, Andy. No, can we take it back? Is there any way to relive this moment right now? Alastair, I think that's a really funny idea and I also would like to take a moment to applaud your fake foreign Language, I think I heard a full legos ad in there at one point. Yeah, just full legos out I mean it was attempted, you know at first it was was just some Spanish words. Yeah. And then it might have gone Italian. And then it really had to stretch. And then you were saying the names of countries in Southeast Asia. Oh, countries. Yeah. But it was really good because it was not offensive, I would say, on any level, because it was so garbled and yeah yeah really thank you really terrific inspiring we could all learn a lot from that I think about how to live in harmony oh yeah thank you thank you Andy maybe maybe if we all spoke fake foreign languages to each other we would be more welcoming of real foreign languages.

I tried to pitch a sketch. Remember when we were doing that My Sandwich show with John Conway and Jonathan Schuster and other people? Was Anne Edmonds in that briefly? Yeah Ted Wilson. Oh there you go. Ted Wilson was in that. Wow amazing. I tried to pitch a sketch to John Conway about a guy who's like right he's about to have a dinner party and he's got family coming around he's got his friends there and he's like just before my dad gets here I've got to warn you my dad is a fake Italian and that's all I had I thought it was a really funny idea that it's like, no, he is a fake

Italian. He's not pretending to be Italian. He is a fake Italian. So he speaks in a fake Italian accent and makes up fake Italian words. Somebody tries to talk to him in genuine Italian, but he finds that really offensive. Yeah, but it's not the same language. Yeah, but it's not the same language. Yeah, exactly. If you want to talk it, you got to talk it, fake Italian. Yeah. I think I remember you talking about this, and I feel like I must have at least said, yeah, I like that.

I would like to think so, Alastair, but we were so insecure at that time. Who could have, I never would have expected you to support me. Do you think it would have been, was it before or after the invention of two in the think tank? Might have been. Cause it could almost be a two in the think tank idea. Could have been, could have been, could have originated on two in the think tank. You're right. You might be completely right.

Alistair, do you realize this is episode 410? We're already a tenth of the way. Yeah, we're too close. We're too close to 500 already. We're're too close to 500 Too close to 500 what the fuck happened? How did that happen? Oh, Andy Are you even gonna be back in Canada in time? It seemed originally back from Canada in time like it seemed originally that we were gonna have heaps of time

And you were definitely gonna be back and now I'm like I don't think you'll even be back Well Andy well, I'll be back for it. It's like we'll just make it happen. Even if I just have to come back for it. It'd be so good. You know? What if we met halfway and recorded in international waters? Yeah, or in Singapore. Or in Singapore. International dirt. You know? On internet, yeah. I think that. International dirt. You know? On internet, yeah. I think that'd be great. Maybe we could do it in Malaysia and then we'd have to like be very like careful which sketch ideas we come up with. Because I think maybe there's restrictions on what you can say. Yeah. Or in Thailand. We wouldn't be able to do all our sketches about the King of Thailand the Thai King Never and I think 500 was the one where we're gonna have our most

Yeah, I've never I've never wanted to make a joke about the King of Thailand Never had any a cur to me, but I I'd worry that if I was doing it over there Some would slip out. I think it would be hard But you know it'd be crazy. You go to Thailand and they're like, you can't make jokes about the king, right? And then you go to Lao and they're like, on a here you have to make jokes about the king. Or the king of Thailand or the king of Lao? Not a king of Lao. Lao king, right?

Yeah. Lao, Lao King, right? And then, and so then every day you have to make at least one joke about the king. And they've got to be original. Or else, yeah, it has to be original or else they put you in jail. Cut your hands off or something like that. So you wouldn't want to like travel with your kids or something like that because you'd forget when you just be like I think that's a really I think this is a good idea Maybe if not for a sketch but for a movie

But then we could just do a trailer for the movie then that once again becomes a sketch and this is the idea You're living in the world where the king's like oh, no, I actually have a Great sense of humor about myself. I love it when people jokes make jokes about me. Make a joke about me. Make a fucking joke about me right now. Like a chocker baby. I love it.

Yeah, the. I love it. Do it right now. I mean, everybody just spends the days walking past the king and then, but he gets really upset if it's one that he's heard before. Well, maybe they like there would be tax collectors there would be men who go from house to house and every day you know they come to collect the jokes and they write them down in their big joke book of jokes about the king and they take them back to the king and they read them all out to the king and if there's any missing there, the king gets really angry.

He knows. Like any jokes missing, like or any people missing. Yeah, any jokes missing or any, well the jokes would be missing because the people hadn't contributed them. I know but I mean like, how does he recognize that they're missing? Is it just not enough numbers or is it just that like, oh they haven't cut, that nobody's made a joke about Moatush. No, I mean, I think it's the numbers and you know, maybe he is handed the book and he goes through and if there's a blank space next to any of the names of the people in the village and you want to hope that that's because that person has fallen down a well and died. God, that's a better way to go than what the king has in store. Do you think that this is a society in which joke writers would be king apart from the king? The king? Because, you know what I mean, like there would be, but probably a lot of people would

come to them and try to get like, you know know get them to write seven jokes for them every week. Wow yeah I think you I think you're right and I think that maybe that would be sort of or would that be the role of the peasants right because the the Lords of the land they wouldn't probably wouldn't have to write any of their own jokes about the king they would have. Yeah that's true. Jokers. Toiling. Toiling. Toiling. They're out thereiling toiling toiling They're out there toiling trying to write jokes about the king that in the field in the field of comedy That is because it's important that the higher your ranking in this society the better your jokes be So like the archibald or whatever should just have one of the best jokes

The archibald I don't know what an arch. I don't know. I just was trying to pick a high ranking thing instead of pick the new. Maybe. Mm hmm. Yeah. Sure. I mean, but, but name a word that sounds more like a title that isn't a title.

Oh, see, this is, this is, this is, you've put in the caveat that I should have put in there with my whole Guernsey Jersey thing. You've closed up that loophole. Sandy, you gotta close a loophole when you make a challenge. I wonder if Reginald sounds more like one than Archibald. I think Reginald has. Then Archibald?

I think. Really? Yeah. I mean, maybe, okay, if it does sound more like it, it doesn't sound like as high a ranking. And maybe that's the, maybe that's the one loophole that you've created for yourself. You gotta make your own loophole. He's the Reginald. But I mean, you've also taken, you've taken some of the conventions from Archibald. I have, I have, I owe a lot, yeah.

I stand on the shoulders of giants. I mean it's really so derivative that it would be impossible to say that it sounds more like. Anyway, I don't want to hurt you any further. I know this is something that's really important to you. Yeah, it is actually. I don't have a lot left. You know, you got a lot of corporate pressure. Yeah, I got a lot of corporate pressure. No, I just like some of the things that are happening today. I'm recording this in the car. Yeah, I am not connected up to electricity that are happening today. I'm recording this in the car Yeah, I am not connected up to electricity and you know my computer has a bad battery

So that's running down. I'm watching the numbers tick down there My headphones were flat. So I've had to plug them into the computer. So that's an extra drain on the On the on the computer limited resources and you're in a hemisphere where it's summer, so I can't imagine it's beautiful weather to be inside a car. Well, I have parked in the shade. That's my one saving grace. But I'm also doing this 16-8 diet. So I hadn't eaten anything until the stroke of 12

when what I did do was show the number of eight so the number of hours so you eat for a period of eight hours right that's for me that's between 12 in the middle of the day and eight at night and then you don't eat for 16 hours from eight at night until 12 the next day yeah so what I did was like in it at midday I shoved two handfuls of corn chips into my mouth the most satisfying and nutritious of all the foods Rich it all all that the body requires now and and I think it's very kind of you to To book in the podcast at the moment where you are going to be absolutely the hungry You're like I couldn't possibly meet at like 9 a.m. or something like that because where you are going to be absolutely the hungriest. I'm sorry, I mean the worst. This has been the hardest morning for us.

You're like, ow, I couldn't possibly meet at like 9 AM or something like that because I will still have three more hours to become more ravenous and unable to focus. Alastair, do you want me to go into the detail about why I couldn't move the time earlier than what we had pre-planned? Andy, I do not want to.

I do not want you to. Great, because I could go on and on. Believe me. I know. I'd like to do this at whatever time is convenient for you. If it was just me living in a void, Alastair, I would be at your mercy. Imagine if you lived in a void. Anytime you wanted to change the time cast the first time we've attempted to do this internationally I would I would be like it's okay I apologize I would be like a raisable ink in your diary you would be a what like a raisable ink in your diary I was going to say putty in your hands but really if I'm talking about chat to say putty in your hands but really if I'm talking about change... But we don't just teach. We create codes of conduct and impact key policy issues with global governments and regulators. To join a global network of investment professionals,

visit cfainstitute.org slash set the standard today. I can't say I talk about putty in my hands because it makes me hungry. Because it would be more delicious than the handful of food that I had. Stay on corn chips that I have eaten. At least they were a good brand. Did I just hear you pick up some corn chips? Did I hear the ruffling of a couple of dry corn? No, I've emptied the bag. It was just the Drey's. The worst podcasting food. You've got a handful of bag. Just a handful of bag. Just a handful of bag, mate.

I need none of these sketch ideas and I apologize. What about this? Do you think that they do you think that they put Doritos into the corn chips into a Doritos packet so that they can't be accessed by radio waves? accessed by radio waves do you think stop anybody have to get into your corn chips into your Doritos, into your tostitos nobody's going to... that's tostitos, that's what I had I was on the tostitos train

really, you're hitting the tostis I didn't realise you were're hitting the Tostis. I didn't realize you were doing so well. Oh, love it. Yeah, you are doing well. They're a much, they're a higher grade corn chip. Hmm. Do you think there's any, anything in this, a reference to the movie Enemy of the State,

where the people who make these mirrored chip packets, they reveal that the reason they've put them in these kind of mirrored packets so that, you know, Wi-Fi and the chips can't be tracked. The chips, well the word chip is also in there as well, that's nice. And we've established that they're a bad food to eat while you're on radio, right? The chewing and the crunching.

Unmarked, well want unmarked chips. Yes. I mean, yeah, I think that's, I think that could be something Alice there. I don't quite see the full format of it, sketch wise, but that's never stopped us before. Do you, do you see the full format of horse airplane? I guess you do, don't you? Yeah, I really do. I see everything laid out before me. What about citizen dictionaries? Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. What about a country where you have to, yeah, OK. No be a citizen lexicographer. I think that there's something. Yes, citizen lexicographer. I didn't want to bother you during uh...

during the uh... early parts of the podcast so i didn't ask you know i think maybe it was when you're starting to have some problems i think he's got enough on his plate a handful of doritos all right what else have we got all this year uh... chip bags so chips Well, I did you mentioned something about unmarked chip bags And I did make me think of that is it in the Simpsons where they go and they buy things in cans where the labels have come off

So you can get anything you get them cheap the labels have come off So you buy the can but you don't know what's in the can is that the Simpsons or is that something else? I don't remember that. A kid's might have been a Paul Jennings book or something that I read when I was growing up. Yeah and so what they didn't want to know what was in the can? No well you do you can get them cheap right so like if sometimes the labels come off cans in transit or in the shop or something like that Yeah, and then they you can they go they send those because nobody knows what's in there

They send them to some sort of place where you can go and buy a whole lot of unmarked cans And take him home open them up and then find out what you're having for dinner And I'm pretty sure that in this book or whatever it was that I read it was eyeballs in there But I could be wrong. Well well that does sound like Paul Jennings isn't it? Yeah if there's eyeballs in there. Loose eyeballs. Oh there's a bunch of wet farts. A wet fart. But then you mentioned unmarked chip bags and I didn't think that was a nice idea. Oh silver on the outside. It's like, yeah. I guess it's like those Harry Potter jelly beans, but it's a full bag of chips, you know?

I feel like you could do an art thing where you have a supermarket, right? And you've taken the labels off everything. All you've done is taken every single label off everything. So they're all just there. Everything's just unmarked. The chip bags are all just sort of loose silver. Man, you could do this at Mona. David Walsh, he'd love this shit. You make a replica of a supermarket and just there's no writing. There's no words. There's no symbols. There's nothing.

And it's just, everything is just what it is, right? Yeah. Everything is just what it is. Isn't that a powerful stuff? I think a lot of stuff you would be able to figure out what it is. Yeah, probably. Just from the shape of the packet. Sure, but I think it's a statement as well about marketing, you know, and its pervasive influence.

You could picture a pack of, you pack of 4 and 20 pies even without, you know, and then you could also picture a packet of high end pies, probably, because they're in a box instead. Maybe a five and 20. My, maybe a, an eight and 40. Four 20, is that the time signature of those pies? Yeah, that's right. That's what they recorded in.

Alastair, can you write down my idea? Yes, David Walsh. More of an art, more of a work of art. Yes, idea. David Walsh. Unlabelled supermarket. This is going to get you back to Tasmania, Andy. as idea david walsh unlabeled supermarket this is going to get you back to Tasmania could do i wonder what he paid for my unlabeled supermarket

did you walk around i think you'd have to make it first that's the problem that's easy but luckily you've got a bit of land and finally all this land is going to come in handy turn it into a supermarket. It's not gonna be the burden. I'm thinking of opening a Woolworth's. Well, I mean don't open the Woolworth's. Open the one that you're talking about. Yeah, no that's true. Just go raid a Woolworth's so they can get the stock

and rub all the labels off or take the labels off. How would you get the outside part of the chip packets off do you think? Or would you think you'd put them inside a different bag? I feel like you could dip them in some sort of chemical and all that stuff would just come right off. I don't know what it is, but yeah probably dip it in a chemical. But if I was an artist, I'd probably be going to the factory and having them especially do them for once. Oh yeah. Do you think that you might

be an artist? I resist the label of artists as indeed I resist the labels on my art because that's my... If somebody did call me an artist I would probably have myself dipped in some kind of chemical to strip that off. Well I'd go to the factory where they were made and asked to get a version of them without the labels. Probably to their mother I suppose and then I'd watch her and the father I suppose have sex and he'd say now don't do the thing that you did don't do the move that you did that calls this kid to have labels. Have it on this here give give out labels did you see did you was it you who shared with me that a little online sketch somebody had made where it was somebody running up to a car that's had a little accident right and there's a lady in there sitting there

she's the airbags out and she's like there's chips are all over the place and she's like this airbag is mostly chips Did you share that with me? No, that wasn't me. I'll take I found it really funny But I realized later I didn't get the joke at all. I was just like oh, this is just absurd the idea I mean what it would be so bad your airbag comes out and it's full of chips But of course it's a play on the concept of this chip bag is mostly air. And I didn't realize that for a long time afterwards and then it took away some of the magic for me because I've really liked it. It's just so absurd. It happens on Twitter when one of the

Simpsons writers explains jokes. One by one taking the magic out of these. Yeah and the the the the the the the the the the

the the the the for you. Is it because women have towels around their heads when they get out of the shower? Yeah. Huh. Did you already get that? No, I just worked it out then when you told me there might be another layer. But like, is it a thing that women say? You'll have to speak up on wearing a towel? I guess so, yeah. Maybe at the time, maybe at the time it was, you know, more women were wearing more things around towels. You don't see the head towel as much these days I yeah, I've got to say that's really taken the fun out of that joke for me Yeah

Wow, cuz before it was a window to a world of infinite possibility Yeah, where it could have meant anything now just one thing So then why are we working so hard to have things that make sense? Well, I mean, I was reflecting on that sketch idea with the guy who comes into the shop. He's got really wet feet and he buys socks and then he pulls the socks on over his wet other wet socks. And then he goes back out and he stands in a puddle outside the shop and just stares at the people inside and then slowly starts walking back in with his wet feet. And I was like, I think that might be my favorite idea from the podcast.

Yeah. Because it has- Did you see- No. Yeah. Yeah, it's just a bit creepy. Did you see during the comedy festival this year when I tried to do a version of that? No, I don't think I did.

I tried to do a version on stage. I probably did it for two nights. And I went, oh, my foot sucks so wet. Sorry a second. I stepped on a puddle on the way here and then I would just roll another sock over the top of it. And then you go, oh, that's better. And just because nobody was laughing.

Yeah, so your stock is over. but it's not that kind of, it's not that kind of joke, you know? It's a joke that you take with you and you love forever. That's a joke you curl up in bed with and you enjoy. It's not a joke that you laugh at. Yeah, it's a joke that comforts you when you're trapped in a cabin, in an avalanche. Yeah.

Did you actually have a wet sock? Had you dipped your foot in water before? I fear that it might not have been wet enough. It was probably a little bit damp. So it was actually wet? Well, you know. Before you went on stage, were you wetting your sock? This is what I need to know.

I wasn't wetting it enough, Andy. Well, no, you weren't wetting it at all, were you? Just tell me you weren't wetting it at all. Andy, there was moisture in my shoe. There was moisture. What do you mean there was moisture in your shoe? I wasn't, you know, I think, I don't think that my shoes were entirely dry.

Why are you keeping this from me and from the listeners? I can't believe this is a play, this is an honest, honesty is a big part of this podcast. Andy, what I'm saying is I didn't believe this is a play. This is an honest honesty is a big part of this podcast. Andy, what I'm saying is I didn't add water to it. But I think there could I think that it would be a lie to say that there was no moisture there at all. You know, and I don't want to lie to the listener either, you know because we have an honesty policy Oh, this is the worst conversation I've ever had No, what about some of the conversations we had a little bit earlier in this episode?

Oh, that's true. They were pretty bad as well. Yeah Alistair I'm having a great time. It's really good to speak to you in Canada I can't believe the outdoor temperatures are so different where we are Yeah, it's great to hear from you all the way in Australia. Oh, no. I mean, you're down under. We're going to have to call this season of the podcast to win the think tank half down under. Could we call this two of the think tank 69 edition?

Are we sort of 69ing at the moment? It feels like it. Well if your feet are pointing towards my head, and my head is pointing towards your feet, it's sort of. We're doing a sort of a real dislocated 69. Yeah, and I think we've maybe discussed before that a phone, you know, my, you know, my voice going into your ear and your voice going into my ear, that's kind of an ear to mouth 69. That's your problem. You know, I think with our, with our relative positions, orientations, and the ear to mouth things, it's like a, it's like a wholesome 69, intercontinental 69. The wholesome intercontinental 69. That sounds like a great episode title. And technically we have one, two, three, four, five, six ideas.

So, you know, before you die of suffocation in this car and hunger and are you allowed to drink during the next 16 hours or is it 16 hours of eating? Why don't they just come up with a pet that thrives in hot cars? Salamanders thrive in hot cars. Why are we fighting it? We love to leave our pets in hot cars. Why fight it? Why are we fighting it? We love to leave our pets in hot cars. Why fight it? Exactly. What about a pet that it dies if you take it out of your hot car? This pet, this is a great idea. This is a great sketch on it. Could it be a genetically modified dog? Yeah. Yeah. Because I think, you know, the idea of people gathering around a car, there's a dog in there and he looks distressed or whatever And they're like we've got to break this window and the person whose car it is runs up and says don't do that

He's a genetically modified dog. He thrives in hot cars and he's got a little sign on the sticker on the window there Yeah, I am genetically modified. So don't don't break the window. Look, I got a sticker. Yeah, he's not panting from distress. He's happy. Yeah, he's a voodal. Poodle half oven. That's not quite right, but you know what I mean. He's a salamudal. Salamudal. Do you think a salamander would do well in a hot car? I think they like hot environments or maybe I'm just getting confused because there's a type of salamander called a fire salamander

Yeah, I might have miss Miss I mean there must be a child There's definitely like you know like it like a desert animal that would go, you know, one of those foxes with the big ears. Yeah, it's a desert fox. Or like, yeah, or one of those like spiky lizards. Yeah, the horny devil. So like half, half, half, horny devil, half doodle. Desert fox. It's a, it's my horny doodle. Stop it.

Leave my horny doodle in the car. I mean for the sake of everyone leave. Yeah, horny doodle in the car. Yeah, I think that's a great sketch idea. I really like it. Yeah. Alastair, we have listeners. Yes. Do we? They send us a sketch sketch some words on patreon Three words okay from from who from them from the from the listener them the them from the listener Yeah, yes, I mean it'd be good if we had a the listener And then everybody sends their words to that person and then and then that person Send he sends me the words. Every time we do an episode. Sort of like a virtual private network of some kind.

Yes. I just found out what the French word for network is. It's reso. Reso. Reso. Doesn't sound anything like network. No, that language is weird. It's a whole different thing that you've got going on over there.

Are you using that in one of your bits that you're translating into French? Not yet, not yet, but I think it's going to be hard for me to do comedy and not talk about networks. I realise, do they have like a, they'd have a whole French TV thing going on over there, wouldn't they? Yeah, they would. Like they'd have their own TV networks and shows that are on in French and stuff. They made a French Canadian version of the office. They made a French Canadian version of, what was it? What was the cop show with the 911? Reno 911? No, the other one. Brooklyn 9.9? Brooklyn 9.9 99 they had to French version of that comeback. Really? Yeah. Amazing. Do when you got a bike

size you are you gonna try and get a job on a French? Can I look at the moment? I just got to even see if I can talk French in front of a crowd and if if I can make them laugh. You know, that's where I'm trying to hit. That's where I'm heading for first and then if that's if I can make that laugh. You know, that's where I'm trying to head. That's where I'm heading for first. And then if that's, if I can make that happen, then maybe I can, because I think if I can't do that, knowing that I can do it in English,

it's gonna be hard to convince a producer that I could do it on their show. Especially because my written English, and my written French is much worse than my spoken French and so that's another step that's going to make things more difficult. Oh god I hadn't thought about that. Alright, we got a listener. Alright, we have three words from a listener.

Today's listener is Emily Aubrey. Emily Aubrey. Dun-dun-dun-dun. Aubrey. Aubrey. Emily Aubrey. A-W. Aubrey.

Emily Aubrey. Wow. Emily Aubrey. Yes. It's a beautiful name. Gosh, that flows. That tumbles off the tongue. like a body falling out the back of an accelerating ambulance. Yes. Anyway, you go.

Do you know what I enjoyed about the name? At when I was writing it down I wrote because it's got you know the Emily ends in an IE But I think the Aubrey ends in a Y And then at first I was like I wrote IE for both and I was like I should be for both But then at the end when after I was like, you know what you should get one of each Yeah, I think that was nice that they did that. Hmm. I love it. You know Cuz then if you're gonna end both words same, why not start both words the same? Yeah, and then why do anything about it? Why not why Malie? Why Barry? You know? And then why not yee yee? You know? In the end that's where we're heading.

That's what Mike kind of thinks and sends us to. Yeah. That's what I'm glad you're not in charge. Alastair's first week in charge already. He's got all the letters except for why. Oh no. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah Oh no. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We're trying out there. And some words will just be why. Different lengths of why. And somebody, one of the, one of the journalists,

the press conference puts their hands up and says, why? And you're like, now you're getting it. That's it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. All right. I'm going to try to guess what Emily Aubrey's first of three words is. Emily Aubrey's first word is Lagrange. Lagrange. You went way too long. Should we be allowed to allow you to do proper nouns? I guess we have to know that. We fucked it there. Scrabble rules. No, sorry, I need the first word is prior. Prior. Okay, P-R-I-O-R.

Yeah. Okay. I mean, it'd be crazy if I was telling you you weren't allowed to have proper nouns and then I was to tell you that the first name was a proper noun. Well, prior, I think, can also be a religious position, Alastair, P-R. Ah, what?

Richard Pryor. Exactly. Okay, prior. Con, conviction is the second word. Oh, no. The second word is mental. Pryor, mental, condition. Andy, you got the first two letters right and the third letter you were only one letter off. Prior mental commitments. Prior mental commitments. Prior mental commitments.

Why does that sound like prior mental? It sounds almost like environmental. Sounds like a little bit. Prior mental. But is this is this is this play on something? Do you think like, you know, prior commitments, you can have prior commitments. And I guess you can have a mental commitment, possibly when you're committed to a mental asylum or a mental commitment could just be something where sort of in your brain you're like, oh, I've sort of already committed to that. But yeah, I mean, I guess that's that's what it could be. Maybe it's a reference to times that you have been imprisoned in a sanitarium sanitarium

sanatorium. Isn't that what they used to sanitarium is the is the wheat picks manufacturer in Australia I mean I think that it's insane that they put their names so close to mental asylum yeah you're absolutely right you're absolutely right it's supposed to sound healthy wild they'd be like if they the name of that company sanitarium if they'd chosen instead to call it mental asylum no it's mental asylum it's not nothing to do with mental asylums no it's different mental man mental asylums you're crazy you're crazy people people aren't gonna hear that people aren't gonna hear that

All right, that's that's your head. That's all in your head Everyone nobody else is gonna be thinking That's got anything to do with mental asylums Is that the sketch? Sanitarium? Where they're coming up with a name. This guy's really got his heart set on calling it that. Yeah.

And then he's like, all right, well, I've got a couple more ideas than if you don't like that one. Looney Bung. Looney Bung. Looney Bung. Looney Bung. What about this? Cruisy House. Institution for the Montely Unwells. That's my final offer. Oh, you don't like that one?

Okay. What about this, Prazen? Prazen. Prison. SUN. Not the, not the, the, the one where you lock people up. Prism. Prism. Um that's something. Prior mental commitments. Have we done enough with these beautiful words? Oh no, we need to do one more. I think you know, we're just gonna mental commitments yeah you

know what if you could you've said you're gonna go to an event right but you've double booked yourself and so you just send your body along right just just your form while your mind is elsewhere possibly you know in a downloaded into a into a frog or something like that so that you can still have my body you can do what you want with my body but my mind will never belong to you. You say to your friend in your RSVP. I will be forever yours. And then we get inside this party, this person's 40th birthday party, and it's just all these unconscious bodies that have been tipped out of wheelbarrows onto the floor.

They're just sort of lying around. Maybe all their eyes are just like whiteed out. Yeah. And they're still participating in the party. Are they still participating? I thought they would just be slumped around. We just see them as a little bit around the party. I don't know. I think I like the idea that it's just like, it's just the brainstem keeping them going. They're getting dipped. Right. Oh, sure. I think that's a really good idea. You know. Yeah. But then, yeah, where the mind is going to be.

It'll be a future technology that will allow you to do this, to save face, to send your still living body along to events that you don't want to attend, while you are mentally somewhere else whether or not you're maybe even just staying at home watching television but you're the body you can separate possibly go out tonight yeah yeah you just can't be fucked and then it it's sort of the the next step in us being able to sort of maybe invitations on Facebook of that sort of thing is say like are you interested in going well I'm interested in being there but I'm not sure if I'm interested in going I'm interested in being seen there but then like the bodies you can imagine the bodies without the minds in the bodies sort of maybe even having a much better time. the minds and the bodies sort of maybe even having a much better time. Well yeah you could also like picture your body coming back and really like it's a mess

and you're like, oh what did my body do? You know and then you're like, oh turns out my body hooked up with the host. Yeah. You know, you know, slept, oh no my body slept with the host's wife. Imagine if you found out that the bodies were all having this massive orgy While we weren't there we didn't know this but the bodies were all doing that They probably because I guess they would be if it's more like they're more primal. Yeah, and so like they're like and then you have like You have like babies that come from body babies these kids body like

yeah they're body babies we just call them body babies but they're just from various parties that you couldn't be fucking going to somebody got me pregnant I got some body pregnant. Bottle your autonomy. This is really backfire. But then technically the people who have like, this is not my baby, this is my body's baby.

Yeah, so when it's time for the body to spend time with their baby, they just send the body around without the mind. Yeah. Maybe the baby's born with whiteed-out eyes as well. So it's a bit. Well, that's a good question, whether or not maybe the baby would be born without a mind, without a soul. Yeah.

But I don't think so. I would like to think it's still a baby. No, I think it would just be a regular baby. Yeah, I mean, it'd be awful. I mean, but when you grew up, you could send it. You could, you know, especially having a baby around that looks a bit like you, you could send it to parties instead of you having to go.

It's exciting. Once it grows up, you could just just do its hair just like you. Put some contact lenses in it that match your eye color and stuff like that to get rid of the white-eyed eyes. Send it along, have everybody say how young you look. Yeah. Imagine that, right? You're a vain adult. Now society would probably, in the movie of this make the

the person a woman but I'm not necessarily I don't want to I don't want to make that specific comment but it's somebody who's very vain as an adult so they make up their child to look exactly like them they're young you know sort of 18 year old child send it along to parties in their stead and when the child comes back they make the child recount all the compliments that they got about how young they look to them. They're like oh yes. Oh that feels good. Tell me how young everybody said I looked. Yes. Yeah but you know how hard it is to get information out of a kid. Yeah it's true.

Maybe you'd have to have a little microphone attached to them so you could be listening at home. I told you about that tweet I saw where a lady was like, today when my kid came home, I asked her what happened at school. She said nothing. And then later on, I saw a photo of her holding a crocodile. It's really good. Alistair, I reckon that's the episode. Oh my gosh, we did it.

And not just an episode, we also got to recount a tweet. So that's fun. And I described that TikTok video earlier as well. We're turning it into a real aggregator, aren't we? Absolutely. This is like dig with 2G's or... 2G's in the think tank is what we're going to start calling this. That's right. Well this is like Reddit. This is the front page of the podverse. Reddit with 2D's.

Yes. Read it. Alright. They should have called it read it. They should have called it that. Anyway, horse airplane is the first sketch idea. That's because of them they put they put the masks on themselves with their mouths. And so it's the airplane where you would have to put other people's masks on first because it would be too difficult to put on somebody else's mask with your mask on already. I think as a horse it's fundamentally impossible to put on your own horse mask. So I think on any plane, unfortunately, there's always going to be one horse left over who doesn't have a mask on. I know, but you got an Andy. These are masks designed for horses that horses can put on. There's probably like an elastic and the above, you know, place to hook the

elastic above their head and then push their face into, you know, and it will snap off behind your head. Yes. I mean, I'm not gonna, that you know, it would have all been worked out by some horse engineer. Then we've got citizen lexicographers. The dictionary has two hotlines, one for words and one for definitions, you know, people can suggest both. And I think it's a great idea. It's a great new system We got translator who almost explodes from the translator going on for too long Before you know letting him have his part A country where you have to you have to make jokes about the king

Then we have the mirrored chips chip chip bags, so chips can't be tracked by satellites. I think there's something in that. I just, it's, you know, it's, it's, My chips are off the grid. I learnt this from that actor in that movie, and in a movie of the state. Then we have the David Walsh Unlabored Supermarket Art idea. And it's called David Walsh because he's going to love it. He's the owner of Mona. He's the Mona owner. Mona owner. And owner is spelled O-N-A. Then a pet bread for staying in hot cars. If it gets out, it dies.

Do you think I should write down that it's a horny devil crossed poodle? Horny doodle. I think you should. It's a horny doodle. All right. Then we got sending empty-minded body to party. White-eyed eyes, and your mind is at home. They get pregnant. I think

there's like a really fun. Yeah and I think the idea of chest-eyes in your body when it gets home because it's been out so like what's it been up to? Treating it like a child. But then what are you in? Is your box head inside a computer at the time? I think your computer a weird little, yes exactly, a weird little robot with a little screen on it. Yeah. It'd be so funny to control a robot arm and then spank your own. Spank your own body. Spanking your own body while you're not in it so you don't have to feel the pain.

Yeah, it's really good. Oh, that's really fun. This is a movie. Oh, Andy, we're going to have the pain. Yeah, it's really good. That's really fun. This is this is a movie. Oh, Andy, we're gonna have another movie. Yes. And that's it, Andy. That's it. I guess Thank you so much for listening to in the think tank. Well, I've got 20% battery left on this computer Alastair. I mean, I don't know what I was worried about. I'm fucking laughing. Andy, let's go for another one. Let's go back in. We've got to do bonus episodes soon, Alastair. Oh yeah, God damn it.

It comes around quick. Sure comes around. But it's always a joy to do. Hey, do you think we should do a... Let's do another sci-fi try, guys. I had such a good time last time. I want to do more. I'm back in, baby.

Oh, I want to get back in too. I'm back in and I'm going to write one. Great. I'll see you there. I'll see you in there. Alright. See you in the... what was it called? Sci-Fi Try Guys. Sci-Fi Apologize Guys. Oh that's right. Sci-Fi Apologize. And...

We... Love. I can't remember. Sli-fi Apollo guys. And it's we. We love you. Love you. Bye bye from Australia. And from Canada. Hey folks, it's Mark Marin from WTF. I've stated Airbnb's before and I'm sure many of you have too. But why not make this year where you take your own place and Airbnb it?

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