Two In The Think Tank - 411 - "EXECUTIEPIES"

Episode Date: January 27, 2024

Taking a Friendship to the Pod Level, Bad Executioner, ExeCutie Pie Calender, Torture Chic, Hands Up Or I Shout, Mike's Gun Shop, Oily Arm Wrestling, Slippery Pole Vault Moisturiser Ad, The Invention of Jumping, The Byrne Identity, Empty Head Crack, BinLiners.Check out Stupid Old Studios' COMEDY LAB here and support the artist fund if you can.Gustav and Henri Volume 2 is now available to purchase in Australia here.You can support the pod by chipping in to our patreon here (thank you!)Join the other TITTT scholars on the TITTT discord server hereHey, why not listen to Al's meditation/comedy podcast ShusherDon't forget TITTT Merch is now available on Red Bubble. Head over here and grab yourselves some material objectsYou can find us on twitter at @twointankAndy Matthews: @stupidoldandyAlasdair Tremblay-Birchall: @alasdairtb and instaAnd you can find us on the Facebook right hereEdited by Andy with all the due apologies. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey guys, this is Kat in Nat Unfiltered. You know that Kat and I do literally everything together, so it's no surprise we vacation together and when we do, we Airbnb it because, well, seven kids. If you have a spare room in your house, Airbnb it's that simple. You could be sitting on an Airbnb and not even know it. You can even Airbnb your whole house while you're away. Whether you could use extra money to cover some bills or for something a little more fun, your home might be worth more than you think. Find out how much at airbnb.ca slash host. Beaver, mungle, tingle, beaver, bungle, tingle, beaver, mungle, tingle, tingle, tingle, tingle, tingle.

Hello and welcome to Two in the Think Tank. The show where we come up with five sketch ideas. Ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding I think it had some sort of sexual implication. Oh, I think everyone. Went into nonsense and the other two sounds that I managed to put into the song. One of them was tongue. Tongue. So, yeah. The only one that wasn't immediately sexual was Bungal. But I even... Bungal does sound like, it sounds like bunghole.

Yeah. Oh no. Beaver bunghole tongue, that's what I sang at the start of this episode. That sounds like a sentence. Yeah. Beaver bunghole tongue. That's probably like the name that you give your tongue.

Oh God. Andy, I thought that you- I've been making a lot of like yeah, hit me with it I've just been making a lot of faux pas Really? Or like just like oh no Freudian slips or something I've just been saying a lot of things That other people being like that's Freudian pas It's a faux slip. You know, the people have been saying that's extremely wrong or sexual or something,

pointing that out to me after I thought I was just saying complete nonsense. So I don't know on some subconscious level. I'm obviously- How many people are you hanging out with? My beloved and also the guy at the shop. And both of them have said it. Wow, you imagine they get people at the shops to say it This is this is my mate Dane. He makes the coffee and where where we're

We're thinking to start in a podcast together. Are you guys you guys getting pretty serious a secret comedy project together? Yeah, yeah. Oh, that's it. But that's the nature of the secret. I move away creating a huge power vacuum and this coffee guy just steps right in, doesn't he? A huge podcast fact. My corpse isn't even cold. My body is, it's minus 13 degrees over here. I thought you got self-conscious when you said beaver because you thought people might think that you were talking about Canada. Canada, yeah, no, not really. Hang on a second. Do you think Alastair that asking a male, because we all know, is it a group of white men is called a, what is it?

A group of white guys is called a podcast. As discussed on your podcast, a group of white guys is called the podcast podcast. Where you analyze the origins of this phenomenon, this joke. I open up the meme explainer page and I read from that. But do you think that when a guy asks another guy who is quite good friends with, you know, to start a podcast with him, do you think that that is sort of like taking the relationship to the next level? And could we do some sort of sketch around that, you know, using the tropes of, say, asking somebody out or saying, asking someone to marry you or whatever it is, saying,

we've been getting along for a while now. It's a great way of asking a guy, one guy to ask another guy to go steady. Mm, that's what it is. I mean, sure we can invite guests onto the podcast if you feel like you need to do that to keep the podcast fresh, but also, you know, and, and we can appear on each other, others on other people's podcasts. That's fine. But yeah, you know, I want this to be your main podcast.

Um, I want this to be the one that's in your Twitter handle. The idea is that we are, we're not afraid. Like I guess poly podcast is kind of been a thing for a long time. It's almost like the default. Yeah, in a way. Yes. Although I haven't done it very much recently. And I'm wondering if I need to get back out there and start keeping things exciting and maybe drawing more people towards the two in the think tank podcast. I think I could be doing more to spread our funk all over the pod. the pod universe, the podverse. You know? Do you think as our little tendrils,

the little voisey tendrils go into other people's ears and lead them back to two in the think tank? I always consider two in the think tank my main squeeze. That's really nice. Well, you didn't know that that's the podcast that I divert from to go and experiment on others By asking guys okay to to go steady hmm

To go on podcasts and make a podcast together But should there be more official sort of like paraphernalia now that goes with that that when you start podcasting with somebody you guys get get like a, like, I don't know, like a podcast eyebrow ring together. Yeah, podcast bracelet. You give them a microphone in a little, you know, clamshell thing. Yeah. Well, you know, like, I think there's that one, there's two bears with Tom Segura and Brett Kreischer, and they have, you know, since been making so much money from their podcasts that they now have a thing where they give each other really expensive gifts. And I think, think. Oh, that's fucked. And Tom Segura got Bert Kreischer a tea cup and a saucer. And what do you think made that really expensive? Were they made of gold? No. Were they from the Titanic? No. The third thing.

The third thing, a teacup and saucer. The third thing were they owned by the queen. Had they been owned by the queen of England? Close. They had been owned by Hitler. Oh! Oh! And the other guy, like.

Wow! What? Very much. Belonged to Hitler! What? Oh, wow very much He just like the Burt crusher couldn't help help himself so maybe tea cups is how you how you I Made when your podcast when you want to get really serious with your podcast buddy You start buying one another Nazi memorabilia podcast buddy, you start buying one another Nazi memorabilia. Memorabilia, because we all know, because what does that signify? That signifies that I'm ready to get serious about this podcast, which means I'm ready

to start turning this into an alt-right podcast where nobody outside of my sort of bubble is going to want to have anything to do with us. I want to start cutting our relationship off from the world. We are on the great, you know, we're heading towards the great attractor of the right wing, grift verse and I want you to go on that ride with me. Yeah. It feels like maybe soon it's going to become the only verse. So we got to like, we got to start edging our way in. We're wearing more, wearing more Hitler stuff. our way in. We're wearing more Hitler stuff. If only it was just the Queen or something. Yeah, no, sorry.

It would be great if instead of the thing that everyone was sort of really on board with being sort of fucked up neo-Nazism. If it was, it was some sort of like just something nice and non problematic like the British royalty and it was the Queen, you know? And we would just became more sort of monarchy. We all became monarchists. We became a monarchist podcast. It's the same thing, isn't it?

It's like, it's, you know, like even though the, the British royalty have not got like an official like Holocaust to their name they've got a lot of bad stuff that probably adds up over the centuries to that quantity doesn't it mm-hmm yeah I think they've probably got a one yeah, genocide I'd say probably. Yeah, and maybe even more. Maybe more, maybe more. Maybe more diverse, yeah.

That's right, it was at least diverse. So that's, you can't take that away from them. That's true, they did commit genocides against them. Were there any kingdoms that went around the world and did good things? Let's see. The plant kingdom? The plant kingdom? Oh, that's true. The kingdom of animals. I guess they are also pretty responsible for a lot of stuff, but you got to thank the plant kingdom for all that oxygen.

Yes. I don't think plants, I don't think plants have been cancelled yet. Thank God. Do you think we need to start again? Alastair. What are you, are you serious? Maybe. This is one of the best episodes of the podcast ever. Are you sure? Yeah.

Oh good, good. I think it's really funny. Alright. I'm having a great time. Oh, I'm glad I'm glad I'm just there before the podcast a couple of things came up, right one was Somebody said hi. I can't remember why you you said this is he and I said hi All right, that's all right. Hi. They became He-hi and then I said something about a helium donkey Yeah, you said something that was probably funnier, but I don't remember what it was I didn't I didn't know it's about a was about a is that how a cowboy says hello. Is that what you said?

I said it's a reverse cowboy a Reverse cowboy well hang on. Is it a reverse cowboy? Not even that's why it's a regular cowboy is Howdy, yee-ha reverse cowboy? Not even. That's why I... Because a regular cowboy is Yi-Hor? Yi-Hor? Yeah. Yi-Hor. Ho-Yi. Yeah, anyway, I said helium donkey and that made me think of basically giving helium to a lot of different animals in the animal kingdom. So I don't think we've done that yet I don't think we've tried Hearing what a lion sounds like after we've got it to inhale helium balloon because recently they started realizing that they've Did if you shine black lights on different mammals that they glow in the dark

See and that's fun. That's just a bit of a goof surely we're not really learning anything from that well you probably are you probably realizing why animals can see so well at night and see each other sure they probably can see some some more of the stuff in the ultraviolet range and they can probably see each other Hmm worried easily. I apologize to silence. No, well, and research and to mammals Yeah, and mammals I apologize to mammals. Sorry mammals. Can you say say say sorry mammals? Sorry mammals. We've got it guys now. We can use that and he's admitted it We can take him to court

Alastair. And so then, so then, so logically then, it's not crazy to start putting, you know, animals into helium chambers or making them suck on a balloon. Yeah. Well, I think for a lion, what you would do is you would build a balloon man, right? Yeah, you would sort of drag it along on the end of a string along the savannah and you would let the lions Maul it and as soon as they bit into the lion into the man, right and all the helium escaped into their Airways, yeah, then you'd have I guess you'd have another real man run up with a microphone and Try and capture

They're Roars the problem is that they don't tend to roar that often. I don't think So you would have to like get them right at the time that he was gonna roar Like I don't think they bite things and then roar maybe maybe maybe they do well Maybe if a man runs up with a microphone, they would. And that's possible. I guess if they saw the microphone, they go, oh, you want me to record something. Yeah. Well, maybe you could make that microphone look like a lion's mane. They're already quite fluffy.

Yes. And so do you think that they tend to roar when they see a flying lion's mane? Maybe. I think maybe, you know, seeing another lion approach, another male lion, they might feel the need to sort of defend their territory with a roar. I don't know. I'm not a lion psychologist. No, that's true. Oh, yeah, I guess I hadn't thought about that. So maybe some of the things that you say should be taken with a grain of salt.

I guess you're right about that. But yeah, I mean, what about filling them with in a room full of nitrogen? I think that's good as well. Yeah. I know this would be untested. Do you know what the hell I'm talking about? It could be all sorts of exciting consequences. Do you know what I'm talking about? No, I mean it could be all sorts of exciting consequences. Do you know what I'm talking about? Laughing gas? No, no.

That's nitrous oxide I think. Yeah, right. Okay, I thought maybe you were just ignorant. What do you, well it turns out I'm ignorant. What are you talking about? Oh, there was just that guy in America that they were about to, that they may have just executed with a thing that they'd never tried on humans before, which is by filling up a room with nitrogen, I think.

Is that what they did? The guy who, they had tried to kill him before, and for, I can't remember how long, but for a long time they tried to find a vein and they couldn't for the lethal injection And so he survived it With an arm like a like a like a sort of a a sewing pin a needle pin And not a pin cushion pin cushion. Sorry

mmm Alastair, I mean that's quite a funny right? Because I've been with my beloved to, when she's had to get blood taken. And her veins are quite hard to find for some reason. And they are always poking around and there's so much apologizing and having to make small talk and that sort of thing while this happens, I think the scene in the,

this is gonna be so funny in the uh lethal injection room um maybe you don't realize it's a lethal injection room right you just have somebody in there trying to put the needle in and constantly apologizing and not being able to find the vein the patient who's in the chair he keeps saying no it no, it's fine, honestly, this happens all the time. And they're just making small talk. And then they're like, ah, got it. They finally find a vein. The person says, great job.

Didn't hurt at all. Thanks. I know it's tough on your first day or whatever. Then they die. And then we go outside the door. We see the sign. It says lethal injection room. I mean, this is comedy.

I mean, I think that to have somebody who is, what's it called? An executor. An executioner. Executioner. Yeah, sorry. An executor, an exec. That's the person who, yeah, who does the wheel, right? Wait, an exec, executioner. Executioner, okay, exec, executioner. Um, and, and, and he's not, he's not a good one. And so he so he's always just like he's like hey, this is actually It is like he's strapping the person into the chair. He's like hey, this is actually my first It's actually my first electric chair, so I'm actually gonna need your help with this Today, it's really good

And so all right. No, I watch green Mouse. I'm gonna use the sponge, got the sponge, put that under the thing. Now, if I turn it on later, because I mean, everybody's gonna be watching at that point. So, if I turn it on and it's not hard enough, can you, like if it's not enough juice, can you just say more juice or maybe wink? Can you wiggle around?

Like sometimes if I've done something wrong and you're not actually connected up, can you just wiggle around a bunch and then lie still and I'll execute you later on? I'll just hit you with a hammer in the head later. Is that okay? I think this's all good. Yeah.

Just because I've had one go bad last week and I just, I'm on three strikes already. And I just can't have this go bad. Is that cool? They are, they are, they are really tough here on us. They, they drive, you know, they're real. I don't know the word. What about this? Because you're yeah, yeah.

It's a it's a it's a calendar. Yeah, I love this already. It's a it's a calendar of the world's sexiest executioners. Oh I like that Now you've told me and I have I pitched this before Are you saying executioners are you talking about executors? No, that's a different calendar executors Would you I think in the past you've told me that I can't say I couldn't use the pun

executing pie or something like that. I can't call them executing pies because cutie pies that's for little children or something. That's not adults. You can't call them adult or cutie pie in a sexy way. You know what? I'm really into it now. I don't know what's happened in my life but I'm really into executing plays. Yeah, I love it. Okay. Well, I mean, they could be done up any, like, and get his style where they're like executioners in little flowers and stuff and a little bonnet. Oh yeah, I mean, I feel like, you know, like, do you think executioners, they are like musicians

or whatever they always have to be like photographed with their instrument. Does that happen with musicians? Yeah, like whenever you see a musician do like a promo shoot, you're never like, oh, there's like, there's Brad, Brad, Tygel or whatever. It's always like, there's Brad Tygel holding this bassoon. Sure. Yeah, yeah. Okay.

You know, they always want to be seen with it. Because, you know, or fighters, you know, fighters always hold their fist up against their face. They always want to be seen with their hands. They want their hands to be visible. Yeah, you know, the instrument. Yeah. I, uh, sure.

I think it, yeah, maybe you do have to take a photograph of the executioner with them, but you could put it in a cute place, you know, like, there's no reason why you couldn't put an electric chair in a beautifully, like a really doily room. Hmm. You know, or like lots of doilies or like, you know, maybe the executioner has a few execution like, you know Electric chairs in his in his living room Just for sitting company arranged around a

Arranged around a table for a little tea party. Yeah, maybe the table torch torture table, you know a little torture table Okay, you know, they don't have to but you, as a coffee table, I feel like a torture table, chip table would be nice. Well, we're very into sort of, you know, at the moment, the sort of the thing that's very chic and in, and by the moment, I mean about 15 years ago when my brain stopped taking a new information is sort of in an industrial,

chic kind of look, right? So you have a lot of reclaimed industrial furniture and big old benches for dining tables or whatever, but surely the torture chamber thing is gonna come back around again. And that'll be there like, people will be upcycling old torture tables. Yeah.

You can get an iron maiden and fill it with fill it with soil and use it as a planter box. That kind of thing is going to be it's going to be gorgeous. So I think it's going to be great once these things stop getting used so much. You know, we'll be able to be so many for up for grabs. Yes. The torture chic. I think you could write that down. That's an idea, Alice. The torture chic. Or just like the QT, Execute by Calendars. I think they're both different and equally valid ideas. And I, I think they're separate. And I don't think anyone could say one was better than the other. So I think that's why they both need to be written down. They both need to be written down. They're both sort of fashion and beauty based

executioner and torture because one's more pain and one's the ender pain. Isn't it? Thank you. So they're kind of opposite. The end of all pain. I don't know if you're completely on board But when you send me the picture of the pad at the end of the episode so that I can type the sketch names into the episode description Which I'm sure everybody reads when I upload these gosh people love to read a show note I will know then I will check And I will know we won't have to speak of this ever again But I'll know Alastair and you'll know that I will know we won't have to speak of this ever again, but I'll know Alastair and you'll know that I'll know

Whether or not you wrote down both of those ideas also. I'll find out at the end of the podcast when you read all that Andy what's Rio Grande to you? Rio Grande to me. Yeah That's a big river. I think that literally translates as big river. Really? The Rio Grande? Rio means river. Really? Yeah. And so when Rio de Janeiro, that means river of January. Really? So it's like a kind of like a seasonal seasonal river.

Yep. Correct. And what about Rioja? They say, oh, it's a that that time of the month. No, that Rioja in Spain, Rioja, Rioja. Um, do you think that's a type of wine? Maybe it's a region. Um, but ha, you think it's like a little laugh. But ha, you think it's like a little laugh? Riyoha.

I feel like I've heard that word before. Yeah, it's a type of one. I just have to say, well, there you go. Yeah, yeah. And what is that the same river when you're in trio? Trio of dips. Is that actually mean tri-tri-triver of dips? Trio de Janeiro of dips. Is that the same Rio in riot police?

Is that like because there's a big like sort of flow of rivet rivet rivet rivet police rivet police. Is that what that is? Yeah, trio. I didn't know that. I mean Rio means river. That's cool. So anyway, why do you ask? Why do you ask? You're looking at a bottle of wine. I'm looking at a box. I'm looking at a box. Because like sometimes they say like where

does your creativity come from and things like that right? Or where you know or like when I would do Alastair List everything people are like how did you come up with stuff? I go, sometimes I just look at a wall and I go, little bit of sticky stuff on a wall. The color white. Yeah. You know, and I go, the texture of oil on a painted surface. You're really giving us a glimpse behind the curtain here. Well,

yes, actually, there was no. Behind the curtain. There was a wall. I was in front of the curtain. A glimpse in front of the curtain. Unless you were in between the curtain and the wall. That's a great name for your next comedy show. A glimpse in front of the curtain. Yeah, that's good. That could be yours too, Andy. Oh, we'll have rival shows with the same name. And that's the show that you could promote. You've got a reason now to go on people's podcasts. No, I have a reason Alastair.

It's to promote two in the think tank, my only podcast. Your main squeeze. I thought you, you've got like little things written down, little ideas for other podcasts podcasts, don't you? I'm not like you, Alastair. I feel like you're always telling people, it's only a matter of time before I've got other podcasts up and going and I don't need this. I never say I don't need this. You say I'm going to start my own podcast network. You're always teasing it and taunting it and just like making it clear that you've got other options whereas I don't I've got no safety net here this is it Andy Andy

somebody asked me the other day what do you what do I think would be the best thing about dying right and I said I think knowing that I have 400 episodes of a podcast where I'm mostly myself. My truest self. I think you mentioned this on the last episode of the podcast. I was like, fuck! Fuck! My truest self is a-

I think for your children, re-listening to this after your death, negative- My truest self is a forgetful idiot. My truest self is a bit repetitive. Yeah. So, you know, I don't think you can, you know that I can't even continue a project. I would need you to call me up every week and remind me to do all seven podcasts that I hope to have in my podcast network. This, the willy-nilly, silly Billy Camilly. That's so good. Do you think we should become cops? Yeah, cops. I do sometimes

dream about becoming a cop. But I never want to be like a cop on the beat. I want to be a guy who like investigates bigger stuff. You want to be a detective. I don't even want to be a detective. I still think there's too much meeting people. I want to be one who works in the shadows. Oh, okay. Yeah. I still want to do detective work, but all I do is the gathering evidence and stuff. I don't think I want to interview people.

I don't want to make people feel bad. Like they're going to get in trouble. That's really what cops are, isn't it? they're gonna get in trouble. That's really what cops are, isn't it? It's getting in trouble. It's the other people who get you in trouble. Exactly. So as soon as you see them, it's like a part of you that was like a part of you that's still a kid is like, I'm about to get in trouble. They have the power to get me in trouble. Even if I haven't done something wrong. They know about.

I imagine if getting yelled at was part of the justice system. You know, it was one of the, a part of the like the, the suite of punishment options that are available to judges and magistrates. You know, I guess somewhere below community service, you can get a good talking to or being yelled at. I feel like some cops do that to you.

They yell at you. And tell you what you shouldn't have done and blah, blah, blah. When really the punishment is to come. Don't add new punishment. That's true. Like I should get time served based on this yelling. Yeah You know what I mean like he yeah, your honor. He yelled at me

That should count for something. He made me really feel bad about what I did. That's not his job. That's not his job His job is to is to arrest me and then bring me to you. He yelled at me Series of murders I should get string I should get money I Want money? Like this is me in court and I'm crossing my arms and turning away from the judge and I go I want money No, and he goes sit down. I go no No, and he goes sit down. I go, no. Well, you get me money and I'll sit down.

Give me some. I'll tell you what, I'll do the prison sentence you say, right? And I'll do an extra five years for $10,000. If you give me $10,000,'ll do an extra five years five years right now But I'm gonna see the money right now. That's not good Andy Well, he's not in a good negotiating position He's been sent to prison, but the guy he's like you'll look really tough as a judge. You'll look really tough right

Giving into my demands like that They don't need to know but you'll be able to give me an extra $10,000. Yeah, I mean an extra An extra five years of prison and I won't even you know complain. I'll say oh, yeah fair enough Judge But I want 10 grand This is nothing that's fine. This can be nothing else. This is not this can be nothing things can be nothing No, Andy. I think it's all part of a beautiful tapestry of a sketch I was just trying to

Expand and follow the thread of well, what if this is the cost of doing? You know if you have the you can count you can get money for the being yelled at But then you still have to do your prison sentence Yeah I'm not going to jail. That's gonna suck But then you still have to do your prison sentence. Yeah. I'm not going to jail. That's going to suck. Well, if you give me. Alistair, I've already written my sci-fi try, guys.

You've already written it. Yeah. You can't do that. You've got to tell me. Yeah. Ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha.

Hey, guys. This is Kat in Nat Unfiltered. You know that Kat and I do literally everything together so it's no surprise we vacation together and when we do, we Airbnb it because, well, seven kids. If you have a spare room in your house, Airbnb it, it's that simple. You could be sitting on an Airbnb and not even know it. You can even Airbnb your whole house while you're away. Whether you could use extra money to cover some bills or for something a little more fun Your home might be worth more than you think find out how much at airbnb.ca So I have feel the urge a competitive urge that I got to get started. All right, I'll write another one.

No, what if I have what if I have okay you could write another one but you have to erase the one that you already wrote Oh, okay. I want you to be my lawyer. I think you're good at this. I think you're actually quite good at um At pointing out things people are doing wrong And you know and and sticking up for yourself. I think about things that don't matter though You should see me when i'm in a really bad mood then it's like I find every detail of people It it's like it's the worst human trait to have I can I can tell you Do you tell them this to the, do you tell this to people? Oh my god. It's just like to notice every bad thing in someone's tone. And just like, you know, it's like, it's the, it's the worst. Very sensitive to tone.

Yeah, sure. I am, I can be a little bit sensitive, but I'm, I'm, I would say I'm nowhere near as sensitive as you. But this is my technique. Yeah. If I feel somebody's saying something bad, I either A, if it's too much, I just leave the room or B, I like to think about how bad I am as a person. And that helps me to not be too judgmental. I'll try that. I'll try that. I just like to turn it in on myself. Yeah, I mean I can't. You know what? Look, I think that there's probably, there's something good there.

I don't know. I don't know what I'm going to do. You know what I'm going to do? I don't know what I'm going to do. I don't know what there is. I'm going to picture those people. Every time somebody does something, I'm going to try and picture them on their death bed. Oh, sounds like the right thing to do. Or I'm going to picture them as a little baby. You can picture them on, I'm going to picture them on my deathbed. Or I'm going to picture them gone. I'll picture them gone and what I would do if they were gone. Not dead, just disappeared. I was just going to say you can have my gun when you pry it from my hot dead hands. You can have you can you can have my gun when you pry it from my soft well lotioned hands. They're so slippery. They're so slippery. I use a lot of lotion. It won't be hard. I want to give it to you but you have to come in with a dry hand. Yeah.

A dry hand versus, oh, this is a great idea. Alastair. Um, it's, uh, just look, it's the hand lotion, um, arm wrestling competition. It's not as good now that I've said it. Wait, wait, wait, wait. Sorry. Say it again. I was in a sentence. I was, I was constructing a sentence. Wait, wait, wait, wait. Sorry. Say it again. I was in a sentence.

I was constructing a sentence. I was like, you can have my gun when you take it from my warm living hand that's handing it to you. That's what he says in his gun shot. This is a gun shot. I'm selling guns. Um Mike's guns. You can you can have high gun when you pry it from my warm living hand that's giving it to you. Yeah. Um why do they need to pry it then? Why is the most of the prying? Sorry, pray. Pray? Why pray? Why pray?

Oh, sorry. Take. Take. I was trying to be more true to the original sentence. Yeah, I understand, but I fucked up the new sentence. There was a cost wasn't there Andy? There's a cost to being authentic. Yeah. There's a cost to being so good at what you do. It's that you're not as good at what you do. It comes at a price. Everything has a price. High price.

Um, what were you gonna say? Oh, you were talking about wait, wait, do you talk about lotion arm wrestling? Yeah. But let's see what this is what I said. I was, I was going to say, what about this, but lot wrestling, but lotion to wrestling. And then I was like, I'm pretty sure there is already like sort of oily wrestling, right? Is there already wrestling that people do? But there's not oily arm wrestling.

Oily arm wrestling. So that's, I think, yeah. I think like, you know, like, especially, yeah, it could be that or it could be like, you know, like that really like lubricating stuff like lube arm wrestling. Yeah, which I guess is very, very similar, but. This would be a great ad for some sort of company that sells lubricants, right? Yeah. It uh it's they they get the world's best arm wrestlers right they get them and they get them all slippery with their lubricant it could be an industrial one could be a sexual lubricant i'm not going to limit this because this idea is open to anyone

and then they squirt it on their hands and then they see what happens as they all over their arms I reckon yeah all up and down the arm Oh, yeah, even the arm that they're using to hold on to the table This is um, this is also this would also be a good Scene yeah A good what would it be I think it could work it could work It could work in like a, one of those mechanic shops. Cause I know that there's like,

mechanics sometimes use a type of like kind of clear lube. That sometimes you can, I think some people, I saw some pranks where people were having it there instead of a hand sanitizer and people would squirt it into their hand and they'd be like wait what is that they just can't stop rubbing their hands because it's just so slippery and it's not going away you know do do moisturiser companies do they is part of their advertising are they are they trying to convince people about how incredibly slippery their moisturizer is?

Is that one of the key selling points? You're gonna be so slippery because that should be in the ads Yeah, well, that's the thing is I think that that how do you think and do you think that there are any or do you can you picture a new one? entering the market that is Positioning itself as the wankers moisturizer Yeah, I think I think I absolutely can. Yeah, I'm you know, they're trying to do it subtly, but they want to get the supermarket as well. Yeah, we want to be up there just in the regular, you know, where anybody could reach them. They don't want to be behind any glass or anything. So there's no point for us get making it into that

to that sex section where there's the condoms. People only briefly glance at that while they're walking past it so that people don't see them looking at that section. Right? You want to be in the moisturizer section where people are having a big long look. I think a scene, an ad that features an Olympic pole Volta, right?

Running up with their pole, sticking it in that little thing. And then their hands just slip straight down the pole. Oh, either way, I would love it if he gets onto the pole and gets up in the air, but then slips all the way down. Oh, that's really good. That's actually better. That looks, that's much more visually effective. And he's scrabbling, trying to climb back up, but he keeps sliding down. Yeah. You know, and I mean, I can hear the viewers gizzing already.

Oh, wow. The viewers of the ad. Yeah, you know and I mean I can hear the view is jizzing already. Oh Wow the viewers of the Ed of the Ed yeah that you know that we will film but I wonder if this is a this is a very Goach question Andy And I apologize for this, but I wonder you know like never that thing on on row of years ago Where a guy was in a bathtub of he was like an exterminator but he got into a bathtub full of Cockroaches and then suddenly was like they weren't like the yet they have He's I came out of it and he was like I didn't realize how much they stunk

Because he had never got enough together in one place to be able to properly smell them Emergent phenomenon. Yeah, and so I wonder if you got enough dicks jizzing at the same time whether they made a noise. Yeah. Look, I think there's a chance. I think there's a chance and I think that's exciting and that's worth trying to investigate and find out. Absolutely.

Yeah. Yeah. We could do this at the same cinema where I want to get, not cinema, the same theatre, the same live show where I want to get everybody in the audience to clatter their teeth together. Oh yeah, that's going to be really good. Everyone in the room to do that. What was the last thing? See what that Oh yeah. The slippery pole vault. Slippery pole vault. Is it vault like vault from like the guy? No, Vault V A U L T. To vault as into jump. Yeah, but that was that created by a guy called vault into jumping. He invented jumping. But with a big pole.

Well, no, the fault, I think vault already was just a word meaning to jump. I suspect. I do think a man inventing jumping though. Maybe a caveman could be a great caveman sketch about somebody who's invented jumping. Oh, that could be good. The man who invented jumping. He'd be like the right brothers of jumping. But it would be such a shit jump at first

But he will Yeah, that's it all the papers in all the cave cave papers Okay paintings Something like that the cave paint. No Don't ever piss off a guy with a piece of okra That bars okra by the stick. By the stick. By the found stick.

Is that pronounced okra or okra? Okra, okra, I'm not sure. I'm probably. I think okra is a some sort of root vegetable. Yeah, that's what I was rubbing on the wall. Oh, really? A root vegetable, OK. Is it what you call it? Okra? OK. I think I've heard I could be wrong. That's what I was rubbing on the wool. Oh, really? A very vegetable, eh?

What did you call it? Ochre? Ochre. I think I've already been given shit for a few things that I've said here. And people are like, you've got to change how you say that. One was I went to an open mic, and I referred to it as a gig.

And people were going, it's not a gig. It's not a gig, dude. You're not getting paid for it. It's not a gig And I went I just I just call them I just call them all gigs They're like well, it's not a gig. This is a you know, it's not even a book room in a book room Most of those you're just getting a drink and I go yeah, I know I know how these things work Is this in is this in French? No, this is in English

All right, so there is there are English rooms over there as well then. Oh, yeah this in is this in French? No, this is in English. Alright. So there are there are English rooms over there as well then. Oh, yeah. They are you're allowed to speak English over there. You are allowed. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, a huge percentage of the population here also speak English and some almost exclusively. Yeah, sure. Okay.

Okay, what was the ban? Have you been to both both languages of gigs? Have you been to? Yeah, but you know, some nights it has been, I just get to rooms and find out that the list of comedy rooms that are on the Facebook page is so out of date that I went to two that weren't didn't exist. The Montreal comedy Rooms Hub. It's close. It's something it's like or maybe it's called comedians at Montreal. Beautiful. So I'm spending a lot of time walking around the city through the snow and then and then discovering the places I'm going to.

There is no I went I, I went to one place yesterday and I was like, is there a comedy night here? And he's like, there is in the summer. And I go, why is there a sign outside? It says there is one. And I go, no, no, I just saw it on the Facebook page. Anyway, see ya. Do you know any comedians over there?

I know one guy that I met in 2014 when I was here for a week. And, you know, I know a few people that I've met briefly again when I was here in 2014 and that are in Toronto. But no, I don't really know people here. Somebody introduced me and the guy, a French comedian who gave me a list of that, you know, because they're their list of comedy rooms aren't on a Facebook page. So he gave me a like a basically a Google Excel sheet that has the list. And that one seems to be up to date.

But but then for some reason, all of their rooms seem to be a lot of their rooms seem to be selling out. And so I show up there and I go, Hey, I'm here. And they go, well, there's no room for anybody. I go, Oh, I just came here from Australia. Can I watch? And then there's not as much as this. Yeah, I, you know, I, I guess I think there's maybe a little bit of a boom in the French scene.

And I think in anything when there's a sort of a huge glut of newbies, people probably, you know, I guess when there's an when there's an onslaught of new people in the world in something, people start to trying to, you know, close, I don't know, close down. Yeah, yeah, or like, or just like, are more tired with like, of like, having to deal with so many people and stuff like that. And I understand what it's like for bookers and stuff like that. They have no stop. It's not stopped. Anyway. And I'll just say, they can't understand, they can't, you can say whatever you want.

They can't understand us when we're speaking Almost everybody is at least a little bit bilingual, but they're not listening to this podcast because Andy you haven't been out there doing These Do some, you know, they don't don't call them gigs Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry Andy we technically have five sketch ideas here. Would you want to do three words from a listener? I love a technicality, and I would love to do three words from a listener. Well, there is listeners that listen to our show sometimes. Okay, okay.

And some of them join our Patreon and the $3 Patreon subscribers can and often do submit three words that we use to as inspiration to create a sketch idea. And so today, three words come from David Byrne or David Byrne. David Byrne. David Byrne. Oh, I was going to say. David Byrne. I love talking heads. Yes. And I'm sure that that Byrne has one. The Byrne identity. A head that talks. That's a really good idea.

Yeah. A guy wakes up, right? He has no memory of who he is, but he discovers that he has a lot of new wave music skills. And when put into a situation where is it new wave with a new wave? Maybe. I don't mind. But he sings in that weird... Yeah, yeah. I mean I find a lot of scenarios in which these instincts snap Into gear. Yeah able to be very creative, but apparently somewhat difficult to work with in his youth. Yeah

It's like the long kiss goodnight, but As well, I guess it's the longest goodnight is the same as the born and energy I guess Same movie isn't it? It's is the same as the the born and entity I guess oh yeah it's the same movie isn't it basically the same movie find out yeah they got a little bit more out of the born and entity you know I think they managed to squeeze a little bit more blood out of that stone quite like the long kiss good night though it's quite silly yeah I'm writing down the burn identity okay I think I think the idea of somebody finding out that they are, like, you know, let's say you didn't do it as,

it's actually David Furn, but you did it as somebody who has incredible discovering that they have incredible musical skill. Or something stupider. Yeah, I was gonna say, I wonder if it needs to be something stupider. I mean, you know, it could be sort of wall plastering. The stupidest of all professions. Okay, so David Bourne has sent in three words and you are not going to guess what they are,

but you will guess what they are. OK, the first word is guess. Oh, gosh, that was, I was shocked at how far away you were. The first one was cranial. Cranial. Yeah. Okay, cranial. Cranial. Nuga. Nuga. N-O-U-G-A-T. Well, I think you've got the fourth letter right a Right, is that right nuga and you? No, it's you know, you G so the fourth letter is G. Oh Sorry, yeah, you don't have any right

Delay second word is delay so cranial delay Okay, now you can get this Crane you'll delay like you could get this. Craneal delay. Like you could get any of them if you just tried hard enough. Craneal delay button. Craneal delay button. No Andy, no. It's craneal delay surprise. Craneal delay surprise. Wow. I mean, I'm really I feel like that's kind of what I myself

That's kind of what like like smartphones have been You know they come in a nice box They look like a really nice product, but really all that I feel like they've done for me is make my brain slow down to a turtle's pace. I can't think anymore. Yeah. Yeah, they invented a machine that stops us from being able to think.

That's pretty good, isn't it? Yeah. Like it was um, it was Steve Jobs said that a computer would be like a bicycle for your mind. What is, yeah, what is a mobile phone then? A bicycle for your mind but instead of your mind riding on the bicycle, your mind is being... It's getting hit by a bicycle? Yeah, you're getting hit by a bicycle. Like a bicycle hitting your mind. It's getting hit by a bicycle. Yeah, you're getting hit by a bicycle. Like a bicycle hitting your mind. Dropped on your head. That's right. Craneal Delayser prize. This makes me think of that blissful moment, right, when you have a head injury, but that

fraction of a millisecond between when the object hits your head and between when your skull still moving in the cranial fluid hits the edge of your skull. There's just that little interval there, that beautiful microsecond when you get all the joy of having your skull hit by something without any of the bad stuff that comes from having your brain experiencing brain trauma. Yeah, I guess for a while you're just thinking this is so good, this is never gonna end. I'm always just gonna have skull and scalp pain. Then the inevitable come down. I'm always just going to have scalp pain. I mean, I think that there is something nice about hitting your head because you're like, like, like, you know, that fucking sound

when a head hits the pavement or something like that and it does that weird hollow like melon sound. Oh. Oh. So are you, are you suggesting some sort of service that would allow you to sort of have your brain taken out maybe? Briefly. But I think the brain needs to be ready to get the sound. Just for long enough for you to smash your head on the pavement. I'll put something else in there.

Yeah. And you will smash your head on the pavement. You'll get to hear the crack. I don't know how you can hear it if your brain's been taken out. They've probably still got your ears wired up to something. No, but they still have the wires attached. They're just, you know, maybe they've laid it down on your face. You know? Your brain, your brain is just sitting there on your face. Just on your face. Which I think would also feel nice. It would be very warm. I think that would feel really nice.

You maybe your nose would sort of nestle in there between the hemispheres. Yeah. And then you're going to get, OK, and then they're like, all right, now you're going to lay your back and you hit your head really hard on the pavement and you get that beautiful hollow Sound and it's actually you get to hear it in a way because even better because all your other senses are Mostly blocked out by the brain on your face. So you're not smelling you know seeing you're not tasting

You might know maybe a little bit of brain fluid might be falling in your mouth and you might be tasting that but You know that's I don't know why I don't want to get you. Yeah The this is like This is that our version of flatliners right Where instead of stopping your heart and restarting it, they're taking out your brain, smashing your head on the pavement,

and then popping your brain back in really quickly. But this time, when they popped the brain back in, something else came back as well. Oh no. Something else got in back as well. Oh no. Something else got in there as well. It was like a bit of a bit of snot or something. What's that from under your nose? Yeah.

And it mustache. Yeah. I mean, is that the whole thing we're going to go with you think? It's the whole thing. I think once it's a flat line as parody Alastair, that's what really counts as a sketch. I know you were the most excited about that bit. That bit.

Andy, I'm excited about all of the bits that you're saying that I barely hear while I'm writing down the, while I'm writing down the idea. I'm always excited about all the bits of the podcast that are a parody of flatliners. But I am, I do like that. And I plan on seeing that movie one day. Now which one? Flatliners or the one we make? Flatliners and the one that we make. I mean Andy I promise you if we make it I will watch

it at least once. Probably during the editing process. Bin liners. What about this? Is there anything? Oh yeah? Oh that's something. Yeah was people who have who wear plastic bags over their head until they see the other side and Then the other person pulls the bag off just in time That's the moment before they suffocate bin liners. I like that. I'm writing that down

Told you I love a flat nine is parody. Great. Oh, that's really fun. Um, I was thinking to the yesterday while I was walking to a gig that I couldn't get into successfully. Um, that I think I got into 80 gigs. It's your feed. I've, I've seen one full French lineup show. to 80 gigs. I've seen one full French lineup show. I've I've been to one open mic that is not a gig that it couldn't. It just like it was said on the website. It was gonna start

at 930 sign up at nine by 930. Nobody was there. Nobody liked it ran. The thing was there by 10. They were telling us no, no, no, it starts at 10. And then by 10, nobody that runs it was there. Then by 1030, the people that do run it were there. But then the guy was saying, no, there's a guy who runs it even more and he's not here yet. And he'll be emceeing and stuff like that. And so then by 11, I was like, I'm always worried that I was going to miss the last trinks. I don't understand the system here yet. But I want wanna tell you that what, if you, you know, like, you know,

like people complain about the Mikey system, the train system in Melbourne, I gotta tell you. Like over the years, like at least it's been simplified. I think they removed like zone two and they removed other things and stuff like that. And the Montreal system is so fucked. It's like somebody needed to yell at them and just be like, hey, hey, no, no, just simplify.

Like for every type of ticket, you know, like in Melbourne, it's like, oh, you tap on and then whatever, whenever you tap on or tap off or whatever like that, it decides what is the best ticket for you for that day. Right? Right. But here, it's like you gotta buy each individual ticket. If you just go with an individual ride,

like that you could do like, you know you could do six rides in a day and it could end up costing you like, you know 25 bucks or something like that. It doesn't go like, oh no you just get the daily rate or whatever like that because they don't, anyway. That could get-

You think that that's a product of them, like the, there's a sort of an anachronism, I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know to say that French is back necessarily, but like it feels like they're artificially trying to stop time in that way. Yeah. In English language and that as a result, other things get atrophied. Well, I think that there is there's an element of that. I think it's because they used to buy people would buy a ticket on the bus or whatever like that. And then they would get a transfer or whatever like that, would allow them onto another thing within a certain amount of time

and I think they were trying to stick to that system which is not necessary once you have a digital system you know and then you can just be like you have an amount of money and then yeah anyway it also just shows like it's like it's not a city taking it's like the city isn't necessarily like taking care of you You know, it's like because when when it's like, you know that the ticket system is giving you the best ticket that you could get for that Day, you know that at least there's some kindness coming towards you, but this feels a lot more like a it's like Oh, I'm dealing with a company that is trying to fuck me. You know, yep I'm dealing with a company that is trying to fuck me. You know?

Yep. Yeah, yeah. Anyway, that's not fun, but how about I read us through the sketch ideas for today? Sure, that'll be fun. We have taken it to the next level by asking guys to make podcasts together. And maybe you both get an eyebrow ring together.

Maybe a ceremony. I feel like, you know, like books always have a book launch. You know, that's a big thing, right? Even like sometimes when it's like a small book and it's clearly not gonna sell any copies, right? They will still have a book launch and just like, you know, force the family members to kind of buy a copy. Like that, right? But then with podcasts, there's no... I've never seen a podcast launch. Maybe there is some, but there's no I've never seen a podcast launch Maybe there is some but but there's no official Standard thing that they do and I feel like this would be a nice thing. Maybe I've podcast brunch

Yeah, feels like I kind of agree. Yeah We've got people faking no Wait people falling no falling oh, people failing to properly corporate punishment slash executioner. All right, this is, sorry, I didn't, I was, I was not thinking clearly. Did you say corporate punishment? Yeah, I meant corporal and this is, wasn't this is how much I wasn't thinking This is these people who are bad Executioners and they just need a need a hand

Give me a hand here today Real low status. Yeah Then we got the executing pie calendars, then we got the torture chic furniture Then we have got guy getting a stroppy because cop yelled at him and he's asking for money for being yelled at. I love the word stroppy. Yeah. Mike's gun shop. You can have my gun when you take it from my warm living hand that's handing it to you and I think we will have more stuff in there that'll be more friendly Mike's gunshot, you know

Then we got oily arm wrestling then we got slippery pole ad for the wanker positioning moisturizer brand The we got the the man who invented I mean I didn't even write what he invented jumping jumping jumping the invention of jumping Honestly, if I could if there's any way I could make your career for just making parodies of the movie the invention of lying I've never seen that movie, but I have started receiving getting reels that are like clips from it Right, and there's some fuck shit in there. I think Then we've got the burn identity and then we have the But we know what we'll find the right job. It could have been like somebody who was great at working like a in a boost juice or whatever

And they unbelievably good at blending ice and fruit You know tearing open those freezer bags of frozen berries Then we got the hollow melon head hit sound company that offers this opportunity It's really exciting chance to hear it and then we have bin liners the flat liners parody The um yeah, I mean that head cracking thing like it's the last it's the last forbidden thrill Oh, it's the last forbidden thrill absolutely, and you could picture one day like you know people who are really into Thrills seeking starting to do that with like wing suits on wing suits on. Oh, wow. Fall back with a wing suit on. Wow. From the top of a, landing on your head from the top of a mountain.

Yeah, could do that. Or you could just still fall backwards. Just still just fall backwards for about head height. Maybe off a skateboard to give it an authentic. I think just coming down off a mount top and just smashing your skull. Yeah. Oh my god. That's awful. That's so horrible. Now let's do it. We did it, Andy. What's what's uh did you did you write that that leaving your body sci-fi story? Because that's what I was thinking about writing that one from last the last episode where you know I don't remember that at all. Okay great well all right well let's go into song. Lung-lung-lung-lung-lung-lung-lung-lung-lung-lung-lung-lung-lung-lung-lung-lung-lung-lung-lung-lung-lung-lung-lung-lung-lung-lung-lung-lung-lung. Thank you everybody for listening to me think tank. I think today's episode, you know, it wasn't perfect, but I feel like we're finding I grew a little bit more Alastair wasn't perhaps quite as tense as the last one.

Do you think the last one was tense? I think there was a little bit of tension. Really? What was the tension? Just some tension about like, you know, there were some issues with slight issues with the delay, the, you know, we were working under non-ideal circumstances. Also, there was some weird audio shit in the end. So I'm hoping it's that's fixed this time. this time. And well, and oh, is it from my side? I couldn't tell you. Yeah, right. There's a, is it was it also because I kept making jokes about you moving far away? Is that where you thought the tension was? I could have made, I don't know. I want you to know that I do that in humor. And I, and because I moved far away. That's why that to

me that's what the joke is. I do get that. I do get the joke. You know, because I don't get jokes. So you know, sometimes I'm just trying to help you where I in the ways that I would like to be helped. If you could explain every joke to me that you make that would be helpful. I agree. Great. Well, thank you very much for listening, anybody who did. Yes, thank you very much for listening and, you know, we're trying, we strive to get better every single day. Every day. And we're out there working on our podcasting.

Well, working on our own podcast networks. And we think that it's only going to make us stronger for this podcast network. Do you think we should start it to in the think tank podcast network? I love that, actually. That's a really good idea. Yeah.

Because what's it? Comedy bang bang has a BBB world, no CBB world. Do you think we should have TITTT world? Yeah, I think we should. So the universe. Maybe like we can have whole podcasts dedicated to one sketch idea. Scares me, but I love it.

Yeah, all right. Well, it's been nice talking to you, Andy. And also with you. And to all of you. Thank you, Alastair. It's been nice talking. And one day you're going to get to do a gig in Montreal. It's never going to happen, Andy.

If it doesn't happen within six days of being here, I can't imagine that there's any chance. And we love you. Thank you. Bye. Bye. Hi, I'm Jessie Cruikshank. I host the number one comedy podcast called Phone a Friend.

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