Two In The Think Tank - 420 - "WORK WIFE/HOME COLLEAGUE"

Episode Date: April 1, 2024

There's never been a better time to order Gustav & Henri from Andy and Pete's very own online shop.Check out Stupid Old Studios' COMEDY LAB here and support the artist fund if you can.You can support the pod by chipping in to our patreon here (thank you!)Join the other TITTT scholars on the TITTT discord server hereHey, why not listen to Al's meditation/comedy podcast ShusherDon't forget TITTT Merch is now available on Red Bubble. Head over here and grab yourselves some material objectsYou can find us on twitter at @twointankAndy Matthews: @stupidoldandyAlasdair Tremblay-Birchall: @alasdairtb and instaAnd you can find us on the Facebook right hereEdited by Andy with all the due apologies. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I didn't start the fire, my wife asked me to do it but I didn't get round to it I didn't start the fire, the house is cold now and I won't be told how to do my job Hello and welcome to 2 in the Think Tank, the show where we come up with 5 sketch ideas I'm Andy and I'm Alastair George William Trombele, virtually I was thinking about that song We Didn't Start the Fire by Billy Joel and thinking that line JFK blown away. What else do I have to say might be the funniest line in any any song

I wonder if that's how they reported the incident. Well there is a JFK here here. Blow it away. Really? Yeah. And then I only know it. In Canada? In Canada.

Canada, North America. Land of the JFKs. You know, it's at least from the attached, the same attached land, if you don't count all the land that, you know, goes underground and attaches to Australia, because I guess technically you're also a part of the same land. There's just one land. There is really just one land, isn't it? You're right. There should be like one floating island. I think democracy should work whereby you are all, everybody in the world gets to vote in every election but just your vote gets weighted by how far away you are. So you divide your vote by the number of kilometers from the capital city or something.

Sure. So people in Canada, who are really close to like Washington DC. Yeah, they're probably getting a more significant vote. They get a more potent vote than like people in Texas. Yeah, I could see this really going down well. But I mean, you know what's not crazy? Maybe it would cause people to realign and we'd have more a better, a more just system or maybe we just send into war. I do worry about all those, you know, all those countries that are super populous and that you couldn't entirely trust that their votes were real. You know what I mean?

Yeah. Obviously in my imaginary system, I would imagine a solution to that problem. A really good one? Yeah, a really good one. Well, that's miraculous that you were able to do that. Well, that's the power of having an imaginary system, Alastair. A lot of people make the mistake of chaining their political systems to the dead weight of reality. Whereas in my fantasy world, my realm, it's a realm.

If your world gets fantastical enough, it stops being a world and starts to become a realm. You know of a kid who has an imaginary friend, a kid who has say an imaginary political system or call you know imaginary colleague. An imaginary colleague that's a really good one that's a sketch idea. Imaginary colleague because people have a work husband you know a work wife that kind of thing why not a work husband, you know, a work wife, that kind of thing. Why not a work colleague? No, why not a, you know, you've heard of work wives. Well, how about this, home colleague?

Start referring to your beloved as a home colleague. I mean, there is an element. They'll love it, they will love it. They will love it, yeah. I've got a good feeling about this. No, no, no, I think that will be good, yeah, yeah. Home colleague. I mean, there is a part of like when you have kids and then suddenly it feels like you are running a business together. You're just two managers of like a thing and you're like, please clean the floors to the kids and then

they don't. They simply make the floor sandier and hairier and crummier. Yes. Sandi hair crumbs. Do you want me to also write down home colleague? Of course I want you to write down home colleague. What do you think? I've suddenly become a completely new person since we last recorded the podcast. I want you to write down every word I say every EVERY word WORD I EYE say C apostrophe EST good thing I specified. This is gonna become an even better podcast with all the spelling.

It's been interesting because we've been looking at, you know, we're back on the puzzles, you and me, you know. We're back working. We're back writing puzzles for as a job momentarily. The Riddle Minds. Back down in the Riddle Minds. And it's interesting because suddenly you look at words and you're trying to find new ways to find interesting patterns with words and stuff like that. And you look at words and you go, what information is here? Like, this is why I can't, you know, like when there's like physicists and stuff like that,

that kind of start going, well, information may be like a fundamental particle, you know, fundamental piece of the universe in some way, right? going well information may be like a fundamental particle you know fundamental uh you know piece of the universe in some way right this is kind of people who kind of sounds like you're going a bit deeper with your puzzles than i am alistair your riddles no but like but then but then it's more like which one of these giraffes is upside down but no yours is good too but i'm trying to look at words i'm

trying to go what information is there? Okay, there's the letters, there's the order that letters come in, there's the, you know, there's words belong in certain patterns, there's words that belong, you know, I don't know, it's just lots of stuff like that where you're like, there's no way that information could be a fundamental part of the universe just because there's so many ways in which you could extract more information from something, it doesn't feel like you could just get... Ever get to the bottom of it. It's not a finite sort of thing. There's infinitely much information. Once you have a complicated system, there's just too much. Yeah, I think so. Because I think as soon as you represent, let's say you got one, as soon as you represent one, there's infinite information within that representation.

I think. Mmm, yeah. Perhaps. Firetruck just drove by. Firetruck just drove by. Firet truck. Yeah, that's cool. I am Right. I just that's my right I've just been writing down something Saying about they're saying get on like a house on fire. Do you think that when you? Get home from a bad

Social interaction one way people weren weren't, just didn't vibe with one another. You could say, we got on like a house, not on fire. Sure, so that also when people say- I'm getting this podcast back on track. Yeah, yeah, no, I mean, I like this. I mean, it actually is something. And I'm amazed that you were able to link in the fire truck thing.

But so when you say to somebody, oh me and him, we would get on like a house on fire, like it's not like the relationship between the fire and the wood? I think in a way probably it is. I think you're saying that like, because houses, I guess, are very good at being on fire. Once they're on fire, they sort of all go very, very on fire, even more on fire. Yeah. Right? Like getting on, like, we're progressing, we're thriving as a house fire would on a house. A house fire very often moves to the side.

So then it means that is it or it means this also so it actually does mean that we're getting on really well I think it does you're getting on like a house on fire but I'm saying we got on like a house not on fire so that's for a bad okay now that I've explained it? No, no, no. I mean, yeah. House not on fire, lake on fire. Ah, getting on like a lake on fire. Yeah. That's good, although it might just be a comment on sort of fracking and the amount of, um, petrochemicals leaching into our groundwater. It's hard not to say something without having political impact.

Yeah, everything, everything is, every act is political. I'm such a good satirist that I can't field on fire. Like, what about a... It seems out of you. Like a fire extinguisher, like an extinguisher on fire. Oh, very interesting. Getting...

But it means nothing, doesn't it? All right, here's something else for you, Alastair. I'm about to say, should we start the episode again? Definitely, are you really? Yeah. This has been such a good episode. So far? Yeah, I think we're getting on like a house on fire.

Well, all right then, all right. How about this, it's a dog. Oh yeah, here you go. Okay, oh, It's a dog. Oh, yeah. Okay. Oh, it's a dog and it comes with treats inside of it. Already inside for other dogs that need the dog. Well, kind of like how women are born with all their eggs, but this dog is born with all of its treats. Oh, interesting. And then like it has enough treats inside its body for the rest of its treats. Oh, interesting. And then, like it has enough treats inside its body

for the rest of its life. But it's like, they're all very small and then they kind of grow a little bit and then you can poop it out and it's like a little, and then it becomes, it comes out as like one of those little bones that you can chew and eat for them. For them, that they can chew, that you can chew. That they can chew and eat,

but it can also, you could chew it, other dogs could chew it. It depends if they can get their mouth to their ass as fast as any other dog or you. Yeah, well, they're almost at a disadvantage in that regard. I mean, you think they're pretty close to their ass, but they've got to turn their body around. Whereas, we can be right up there, right near the ass. And you could put a box over them. It's a bit like the chicken situation.

You know, we get their eggs and we eat their eggs and we've normalized that. What kind of a food do you think, how good would have some food have to be that if it came out of a dog's ass, that you would eat it? That you would put included in your breakfast. How delicious do you think it would have to be to cross that threshold? Well, that thing that dogs are capable of synthesizing all of their vitamins

means that they would be probably useful on a big long boat ride. You could eat their turds and there probably would be some vitamin C residue. Can they do vitamin C? Can they synthesize that one as well? I think so. Incredible. Do you want me to look it up? No, I do not want to. Jamie, can you get up?

Can dogs synthesize? Vitamin C. If I ate a dog turd, could it supplement my intake of vitamin C? Oh yeah. Most mammals, including dogs, synthesize vitamin C in the liver. This is the craziest thing is that most mammals have penis bones and they can synthesize vitamin C, but somehow we missed out on these two things. And we regard ourselves as God's children. Surely the evidence is all there that we are actually, we have fallen from His grace and it is dogs with their penis

bones, their vitamin C, their internal hot and cold running vitamin C that prove that they are his little golden good boys. It does suggest though that dog poo probably has at least some vitamin C, right? Has some medicinal, I think it does. Yeah, it suggests it. It strongly hints it. You know, it would be... Well, we've proven in rats there's vitamin C in dog poo. Because we've fed dog poo to rats

and their vitamin C levels have gone up. No, we couldn't get anybody to eat dog poo, but we were able to inject some dog DNA into rats and get people to eat the dog rat poo rat dog we're able to inject people love that we have found it actually very hard to stop people eating that I see that's where it gets really funny okay great so great. So, cause I mean, you know, like that would make you think, you know, cause if you were on a raft or whatever, you'd want to have a dog,

but then or any mammal probably except for a human. What about genetically engineering a dog so that it shits chocolate? You know, little chocolate bars, right? How do you, do you, like, do you think that that would catch on? And what do you think the transitional period would be like where there are some dogs that shit chocolate and some dogs that shit dog shit? You know?

Yeah, I mean, that would be a difficult time. It would be like that time when, you know, when elevator doors, some would stop when you put your arm in the middle and some would just crush your arm. And some would slash you in half. Yeah. It would be a difficult time, except for the people who love eating dog shit. For them, it would be, that would be such,

what an amazing time that would be. Because I imagine they've suffered, you know, almost all of history up until now has been really hard for those people because not only do they like eating dog shit, which I imagine isn't great for you, but also they have to deal with the judgment of society. But if there was this golden period

where people didn't know if it was chocolate or dog shit, and they could eat dog shit and tell everybody that they're, no, I'm just eating chocolate. I mean, societally, I can see that that would be better for them because then they could just be picking up dog shit in the street. But I mean, I think that those people would be, if we knew that they existed, those people would be more welcome than people than they think that they would be.

I think that they're in a self Like like a self-appointed exile Whereas if I knew that they could come through my lawn and just pick up any loose dog shits that have been left left there And maybe they're not announcing themselves because they don't want people to just let their dogs shit everywhere Maybe they actually came up with the idea of like the little plastic bags that come in parks because then they can ruffle through bins. Ruffle through the bin.

And they can eat the dog poo that's in a bag that's not been spoiled by touching. Preserved in plastic. Yeah, it's not been spoiled by touching any like old sandwiches or something like that. So do you think that if we found out that these people did exist, actually we would embrace them. Maybe they'd become almost like doctors and nurses, they'd become this sort of beloved

and highly respected part of society. The dog shit guy was coming around, he's knocking on the door, he's got a big smile. And you say, oh here he is, and you let him out into the backyard and he was scampers around picking it all up and eating it. And everybody applauds. I mean they're like the empty can people. The empty can people who go through the bins and find all the empty cans and then turn it into money.

I really envy those people. I actually, I would love to do that. You would love to be one of those people? Yeah, I really envy those people. I actually, I would love to do that. You would love to be one of those people? Yeah, I really would. It's just, it's a shame at the moment you've followed your dreams and it's worked out enough. Yeah. But it's good for me that hitting rock bottom

is actually, it's something I'd love to do. I'm really looking forward to it. Yeah, so you think a sketch about how dog dog shit eating people Um, of course alice discover discover that they can come out of the shadows and that they're actually welcomed by society Um, all right alice dear what about this like almost like oh, yep almost like to the point where you could almost imagine like somebody introducing her new boyfriend to her grandparents and they say, oh, and what do you do? And he says, I'm an engineer.

And they are, oh, I was, why can't you meet a nice dog shit eater? Yeah. I mean, his grandparents said like real assholes. Eater. Yeah, I mean these grandparents sound like real assholes. I know, but they come from a culture where it's really important. Yeah, of course. And it's just the world changes so fast and these are grandparents who keep up with trends. The world changes so fast and these grandparents change with it. They are completely on board. This is the thing I was thinking about. I've been thinking about a lot recently. Is this

thing of like we, we, well, not so much dog shit eating, but more the, the thing of how we fight any attempt to impose progress in a like, oh, we're trying to reduce carbon emissions. And so there are all these vested interests are doing everything they can to stop us making progress, to stop us transitioning away from fossil fuels because, and the thing is always, oh, we're imposing this and it's gonna cost people's jobs and what about the farmers and the miners and the workers in all of these industries and that kind of thing.

But if any one of these companies found a super cheap, Any one of these companies found a super cheap, super efficient way to generate free electricity. They would all adopt it instantly and fire all those people as quickly as they could. And none of the vested interests or any of the governments would try and stop it. Like, whenever there's a change that happens organically through business and through technology, like the introduction of social media, which has completely changed everything about how we live our lives, or the AI or anything like that, these people who are fighting progress, they don't give a shit about any of those things. They don't give a shit about any of those jobs.

None of those people are saying about AI, what about all the people who work in creative fields, in arts, in copywriting, advertising, all of those things. None of them give a fuck. Yeah, of course not. And they're just happy to throw all those people under the bus. But, yeah, it's just insane. Yeah, of course not. They're just happy to throw all those people under the bus. But yeah, it's just insane how hypocritical the whole conservative agenda is.

I mean, yeah. I mean, anything, even just like thinking about like, how crazy it is that the health system is not entirely universal and free. Because as if it wouldn't help your economy to have everybody working the most possible. But they're fighting against like people who are like, well, we kind of want to make money doing this. And they're like, well, then there's that. I guess suppose we could change things. But they've also formed, they get to form an alliance with the people who are like,

and we kind of want some people to suffer, you know, we kind of feel like poor people kind of deserve to suffer. So those two form a super alliance. Do you think that these,'s a like there's a comparison between like you know the sort of the carbon emissions and the you know people trying to cut back on carbon emissions and the and the sort of the fossil fuel people and like people trying to cut back on Say like punches to the face and the sort of the the muscly back lobby

getting really up in arms because they're like well actually we've invested a lot into the infrastructure that allows us to punch people in the face really hard what What about our way of life? What about the generations of assholes with big muscly backs? What about the muscles already built? All my back nose is muscle. And now it won't get used. What am I gonna have to learn to punch people in now? Yeah, well can we punch people in the sternum? Can we punch people in the back of the leg? I guess we already did sort of force people to stop punching people in the back of the head didn't we? We did we tried we were like well

We already we already stopped doing that and started punching them in the front of the face Now what? we've face. Now what? We're sick of jumping through your hoops. There's suddenly, there's all these places that we can't, suddenly there's all these areas you're not allowed to punch anymore. Back of the head. Don't punch right in the ear. It's an agenda. Um, the free punching... Mmm. Mmm.

Look Andy, I don't have anywhere to go with this. No, no, no, no. I think it's very good, Alastair. I think it's another one of your brilliant bits of satire. You. I don't mean... It's so hard being such a perfect satirist. The perfect satirist. Alistair, I've written down... I've been making notes this episode.

I've got all these little things. I'm trying to keep track of the ideas as they come to me. I thought, episode 420, why not give it a go? So I've written down here, dig up art. Dig up art. So I was thinking about what about this? What if all our art came from deep underground, right? And was dug up in mines, in art mines. And so artists were really just people who go down with a pickaxe. And if they, you know, and the same thing as striking a rich vein of gold, right? They strike a rich sort of school of art, okay?

So maybe you've got a mine there somewhere in France. Are you picturing a world in which all the art is just cool rocks? No, no, Alastair, no. But that could be good too, but I'm talking, there's probably paintings down there, right, underground. And so they are, there's a mine, and they strike upon a little hint of impressionism, okay? Well, I mean, you could imagine a type of art...

Yes. You could imagine a type of art that we find that might be like, you know, ancient alien or ancient civilization art that we actually have no idea how to do. Yeah, sure. And then you, sorry, I'm changing your idea. No, Alastair, I'm open to it. But no, yours is more of a sort of an art archaeology kind of a thing. Whereas mine is art, I guess all art, archaeology, art occurs naturally, right?

Yes. As geographic formations. We still appreciate it on completely the same level as we do art that is created by individuals. But now it's this industry, this extractive industry, and we're finding more ways to get art. We're using fracking to get art out of rocks that we didn't think we could get art out of before releasing. I completely like, I hear it and then it bothers me already because I just know big business would just get involved straight away and then they'd be making all the art. Yeah yeah it bothers you. What I think is interesting is that it feels like actually with art right now is that especially like with well art

and entertainment is that either you're a gigantic business and you can do this or you're like basically an individual and you can do this and in the middle it's kind of hard because it's hard there's not enough money for a small you know like a small to medium-sized business to be able to support itself because advertising dollars have gone down but if a small to medium-sized business to be able to support itself because advertising dollars have gone down. But if a small person who's like one or two people get really big, they can make a lot of money still. And then there's also the big people who have gigantic and film studios and they can make stuff

and they have access to that stuff. But it's the middle places where people are struggling a lot at the moment. Yeah, no, I completely agree. Even the people who are those small individuals who are hitting it big on social media and stuff, that's still all within a context of, well, it's these huge tech companies that still siphon up the vast majority of the money,

I'm sure. So, it's all on the terms of these. Well that's the problem is if you're on a platform they can just decide at any moment where they're like, well we get more money out of this. We decided it. Because now that you're established it's like, well you sort of need our platform.

But what about this it's an artist who lets platforms on him yes Alistair I would love to jump in and take this baton and run with it but I'm just gonna need you to flesh out the baton a little bit more the baton at the moment seems quite slippery, quite greasy. Oh, it's a slippery batten. I think you might have applied some lotion. I might have, instead of accidentally putting the batten in my shorts, I might have accidentally slid it up some kind of greasy hole. And when I've pulled it out,

it is not as grippable as I thought it was gonna be. Would you watch an Olympic relay in which the people who run with a bat and do it with it up their butthole, sort of poking out. And so they've got to do that kind of waddle. I imagine it would already look quite a lot like the Olympic walk, the long distance walking. Oh yeah, it does actually kind of look like

the speed walking. Yeah, I mean I think we just think non-stop about how uncomfortable it would be. And you know, about the friction that you'd be creating in utero, in buttero. Butero. In butero. And so the whole thing would be uncomfortable it would just be a need to shit it would just be like mmm yeah and so I don't think I would watch it I think I would watch one video maybe of a sketch where they suggest it and then I think that now that this guy is doing the the drugs allowed Olympics we should pitch the everything sort of

butt related everything you hold things in your butt. In bootero sprint relay. In poop shootero sprint relay. We have talked about shit so much on this episode. Yeah, okay, I'm sorry about that. This has got nothing to do with poo. Okay. Mistletoe. Yeah. I think they should call it mistle mouth.

What do you think of that? It's got nothing to do with poo, does it? I mean, if you're kissing people on the mouth, it should be called, maybe even kissle mouth. They should call it kissle mouth. Although I guess you do miss the toe when you kiss them on the mouth. So maybe it does make sense That the act of kissing on the mouth it requires one to miss the toe by quite a lot or toe Miss or toe

It's a game show where I'm going to there's either a woman Yes somebody's toe. A severed toe. Can't know what- That's a great idea. I know it can. Can you put, but it's also like you've got the chance. You can put your toe under a blanket.

And if you can make it look like it's a woman under there using special toe placement. Yeah. What do you get? What do you get you get to trick somebody? I mean, I guess it's like any of those ones where it's well whoever Island or something some people are some of the people are women who are genuinely here Looking to form a long-term relationship and get married they're under a blanket though And then some of the people are just poking their toe through a hole in a bench under a blanket though. And then some of the people are just poking their toe

through a hole in a bench under a blanket. And if you as a person, as an eligible bachelor, I suppose, can tell which ones are a woman under the blanket and which ones are just somebody wiggling their toe around. Yeah, or a severed toe. Then you have to both kiss and go on a date with whatever is under there. Whatever is under the blanket. And I think the people whose toes it is, if they trick you under the blanket, then they get $100,000 or something. There's got to be something in it for them.

Right? And it's called Miss Or Toe. It's the name of the show. It's a really good idea. What about this? Now I'm like, let's try and make it a bit more realistic. Okay? Yeah. There's a bunch of women who lie under the blankets, eligible women who are open to a new relationship, but then there's a bunch of sculptors, okay, and the sculptors are just given random household items and half an hour, and if they are able to make a shape under the blanket that looks like just using, you know, bits of pen and erasers and stuff

like that, and bananas like that. Bananas. Pen. They can use it. Assemble something. And bits of lasers. Erasers? I think I said erasers. Oh erasers. Okay, sorry. I don't know why I could only think of stationary objects. But they just cobble things together and make a little pile of stuff that when you put the blanket over it looks like the form of a woman. Then, and if the... it looks like the form of a woman then and if the person has to go on a date with whatever under the blanket that they choose and that person and the sculptor gets a hundred thousand dollars if they've successfully made the convincing form of a woman under a blanket yeah I think a thousand seems a lot like for one challenge mmm but I think competitive sculpting like that where they

have to keep tricking people. People who are desperate for love. Mmm. Yes. One who's desperate for love, one's desperate for $100,000. $100,000. One's a sculptor who wants a hundred thousand dollars. They don't have to be sculptors, they can just be people off the street if that helps. Does that help? I mean, I think that, I mean, just the fact that there can be two competitions going on at once, you know, like, but I think it's a hundred thousand is too much. I think we want to get these sculptures in.

We want to find out who they are, get to know their personalities. Sure. So maybe it's week after week, you know, and they build up points towards one winning the grand prize at the end. Yeah, I think so. I don't think there's any show at this stage can afford to give away a hundred thousand dollars per round. Well Alistair, thank you for keeping me on the straight and narrow.

Thank you for keeping me in the realm of what's plausible and could actually be commissioned. Because I don't want my ideas to get too silly. I want them all to be... Sculptors and single people video... competition. Yes. Excellent. How did you feel about Dig Up Art? Oh yeah. Sorry, I forgot to write that down. Dig Up... No, that's okay.

Dig Up Art. I mean, I feel like it was... It feels like it was there to make an important point of some sort. Mmm... yeah, maybe. Or maybe it's just a sort of a wacky idea it'd be funny to see how the surreal alternative world plays out you know people coming up out of the mines and they're covered in not in not in ah not in coal dust but in charcoal dust from all the pastel drawings Shut the fuck up Alistair

Shut up Shut up. Don't be mean to me. It's funny because you mentioned. Don't be mean to me about my silly idea. Okay? It's funny because you mentioned the charcoal dust because yesterday my brother was pouring some actual charcoals into a barbecue. And I saw that black powder off the top, off coming out of the bag and I was like,

imagine you got black lung doing, you know, like just from barbecuing. And he's like, you know, I've thought about that a fair bit. He does barbecue a lot. I think at the point at which you are barbecuing enough to get black lung from the charcoal dust that comes off the coals, you're probably just gonna die from heart disease anyway.

Like if you, I think that you would be spared that Terrible fate terrible fate. Yes Mercifully the terrible fight fe with a hat on it te Luckily I was spared that terrible fight. That terrible fight. That little school event where they sell you lucky dip bags. And you have to hit them.

Did you ever do this? Bob for apples. Bob for apples. I had one where somebody would put a Jaffa in a bit of pipe and then it would run down the pipe and then come out the other side of the pipe and I was given a mallet and I was supposed to hit the Jaffa with the mallet when it came out but it would have come out way too fast. Oh really? Yeah. Just so there's no chance. There's no chance. It's a scam probably. I didn't see a chance.

Andy, before I go on to three words from a listener, somebody told me that the new Simpsons is apparently very good. Just one episode or the current stuff? Like the current season has been good. Oh. Maybe we should get back in. We should like start reviewing The Simpsons from the current episodes going back. That'd be good. Do you think that you were inspired to mention The Simpsons by me saying dig up art, which was making you think of pick up Bart from that was making me episode no that dig up was making me think of dig up stupid which was that's from the Simptons when it's the cat burglar episode and they're digging you

know it's like a what's that movie where they kind of all go and dig under some letter? Is that the Mad Mad Mad World one? Something like that, yeah. And so it's a, there's some parody of that where they're trying to dig under the thing and they keep going down and down and down. They're like, I know, we'll dig our way out. They go, no, no, no, dig up, stupid. It's good. It's good. Alright, let's go three words from a listener, Alastair. Andy, today's three words from a listener come from Jake Smith or it could be Joke. Joke Smith.

Joke. Joke Smith. But Joke has given us three words and they come from a listener Jake Smith so would you like to guess what the first word is and think carefully this time okay the first word is rhododendron oh no but it does have a double letter in it which I think Rododendron sounds like it must. I think it does. The first word is gizzard. Oh we I think we've done these words before. Oh have we? Yeah I feel like we have but okay. Should I go back? Gizzard oh I mean if you've got alternatives. I mean I can find them pretty fast. Okay yeah well let's let let's let's time it Okay, one. I got some dog two cat and dog three cat. You ready? What you found him already? Yeah. Yeah, I felt them

Yeah, it's from Aiden. I got some from Aiden Cain Earl Aiden Tain Earl Aiden Thank you, Aiden and thank you Jake as well, But I'm pretty sure we've already done Gizzard. Imagine if we hadn't and we're just like absolutely Negan. Negan, Jake, Jacke, Smythe.

Do you want to try to guess what the first word is? Oh, I forgot I have to do that. Okay, the first word is What's not Rhododendron? I think I can rule that out. Banksyr. The second word is No, it's not Aiden. The first word is, well it's not rhododendron, I think I can rule that out. Banksia, the second word is, the first word is banksia. No it's not Andy, the first word is rhub. Rhub, okay, second word, Goldberg.

Unfortunately, you are wrong Andy. The second word is Goldberger. Really good, rhube Goldburger restaurant. Rube Goldburger King. I think that's such a good idea. Such a good idea. I think the Rube Gold Burger King would be a fast food restaurant. I imagine it's a slow and laborious food restaurant for a start. But all the burgers are made by a series of things that roll and bump, knock each other over. Tediously slow restaurant. In the kitchen. But you, when you go in to place your order, they don't have a menu,

they just have a bunch of household objects lined up along the counter there and you can knock any one of them over and then you don't know what is going to be made by these things, various rolling and bumping and tumbling. But you've got to watch the sequence to see what happens. So you might go in and you might knock over the- I think you're supposed to get into bed. You're supposed to get into bed. There's a bed there and then you get in and then you sit up and you hit your head on something

and that knocks something. And then you just watch it until I ruined your thing whenever you were talking. No, Alastair, I am taking a moment to pause in appreciation, a minute's silence for how good an idea that is. That's incredible. Because one of my favorite things growing up was that bit in Chitty Chitty Bang Bang,

where Dick Van Dyke has that elaborate machine that makes his breakfast for him, because he's an inventor. Right. There's a bit of that in the Back to the Future isn't there as well? Oh yeah, it's a real trope. It's a trope but it's one of my favorite things and I'm very sad that I don't have that in my life. If I could go to a restaurant where I sit in a bed and then I sit up and hit my head on something and then a series of contraptions makes breakfast for me, I would pay almost any amount of money for that. That is such a good idea. Taking it to to Silicon Valley to find a way to

To broaden this to scale so that you can do this for anybody Can we have a uber but for Rube Goldberg machines and each Rube? Ruber And it drives to your house and it's a gigantic thing and you stand in it and you just, it shows up at the outside of your house. It's almost like one of those like, you know, like one of those towers at the front of a castle that you would stand on top of and look for, you know, oncoming armies.

But you drive one of those around and then you show up in front of somebody's house and then they walk into it and they flick a bean or something like that. And then. They flick the bean, do they? Okay. And then some process goes into, you know, starts

and then they just watch things going into cups and cups flinging, you know, catching flying foxes. So good. I mean, what this is, what we're pinpointing here, Alastair, is the difference between inventions and contraptions. And I think the entrepreneurial spirit of Silicon Valley has for too long been focused on the invention side of that equation. But I think they need to get back to the contraptions.

Where are my, where are... They've been making things, but not, they have forgotten about the dongle. The whiz-wazza. High longle for the dongle. High longle for the dongle. Alasir, I think that's such a good idea. That restaurant, I mean, we're all about the gimmick restaurant these days and if you could get that off the ground, god that'd be incredible. You would have to with this thing. All the

whistles blowing and the things whizzing and the little arms cracking the eggs. Oh. Like steam coming out at some point. Steam's always coming out, the kettle's tipping. Same. Scissors. The great thing is that it doesn't need to be an elaborate meal that's being made. I mean it's usually just like eggs on toast. Right?

And a cup of tea. Exactly. Exactly. It's for people who want the simple life again, but don't mind stopping and watching the Rube Goldberg machine, you know. It was always sad going to Northland where they kind of had like one of those like Rube Goldberg ones but with like pool balls, you know, those ones that kind of, you know, they lift it up and then it comes down and rolls. I'm serious Alastair.

Whose suggestion was this again? Earl? This was, no, no, this was Aidan, Aidan Kane Earl. Aidan Kane Earl. Aidan, if you're willing to go in with us on this idea, I think starting a restaurant called Rube Goldbergers, where the burgers are assembled by an elaborate contraption is such a good idea. I don't have anything else to say. Yeah, but you're giving him the go ahead.

I'm giving him the go ahead. If this is where you were testing your idea, the viability of your business idea, Rube, I mean, Aidan, then you are absolutely getting our, we are absolutely lines netting you and giving you two thumbs up. We are all in.

Cisco and Ebert, you know, now with all their money, we're giving you, we're donating. Yeah. Yeah. So fun. All right. We better read through the sketches and get out of here, Alastair. Okay. Well, Andy, we've got an imaginary colleague. You know, you could imagine having an imaginary friend, but can you imagine having an imaginary, a kid having an imaginary colleague? It's really good. It's even more imaginary because they don't even have, they don't even know the experience of work, you know? Work wife, work husband, home colleague. This is a new thing where you call start calling your your wife your home colleague and they hate it. We got eating dog poo for its

vitamin C content. This is a it's a new trend in in shipwrecked idiots. And then we've got dog shit eating people discover they can come out of the shadows and be welcomed by society. You know, they're actually doing good. Was this before or after I said that this was one of the best episodes ever, Alistair? This was after. Then we have Perfect Satire, punch bands argued by muscly back lobby. Then we've got Inbutero, the in-butero sprint relay.

Then we've got Miss Or Toe, the dating show. And then we also have an idea based on that, which is sculptors and single people TV show, We Are The Sculptors. It's basically, look, it's just a rip off of Miss Or Toe. We're really coasting on the popularity of Miss Or Toe. I'm gonna be a mistletoe. And then we got a dig up art. Yes.

That's it. And then we got the tedious slow restaurant, the Rube Goldberger King or Ruber where the one, the version of it where it comes to you Yes Lovely. Thank you. Yeah, that was really well read back to us. Thank you, Andy Guess we should probably go to the song then Thank you so much for listening to In the Think Tank. I hope you had as much fun listening to it as I had on the weekend. Did you have a lot of fun on the weekend? No, I had a great time. Did you have a lot of fun on the weekend?

No, I had a great time. Oh no, it was a terrible time, a terrible weekend. That brief period of time where my son's face was completely covered in blood was more of a blip. If you want the full details on what happened, you can message me. You'll have to become Andy's really good friend. That's right. Keep that behind a friend wall. It's kind of like a pay wall, but it's a friendship wall. People do that here. You gotta put in enough hours. Yep, and time is money. Yeah. And we love you.

Bye. Bye.