Two In The Think Tank - 424 - "DEPRESSION GUN"

Episode Date: May 6, 2024

Interdimensional God War, Depression Gun, Black Dog Whistle, Random Day Movie, Patriotisnt, Sock Camera, Biochemical Warlmart, Makeup InfluenzerThere's never been a better time to order Gustav & Henri from Andy and Pete's very own online shop.Check out Stupid Old Studios' COMEDY LAB here and support the artist fund if you can.You can support the pod by chipping in to our patreon here (thank you!)Join the other TITTT scholars on the TITTT discord server hereHey, why not listen to Al's meditation/comedy podcast ShusherDon't forget TITTT Merch is now available on Red Bubble. Head over here and grab yourselves some material objectsYou can find us on twitter at @twointankAndy Matthews: @stupidoldandyAlasdair Tremblay-Birchall: @alasdairtb and instaAnd you can find us on the Facebook right here Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Everyone knows therapy is great for solving problems, but getting therapy has its own problems too, like finding the right therapist, fitting into their schedule, and of course the cost. Well, BetterHelp can solve those problems. It's totally online and built around your schedule. It's surprisingly affordable too. Connect with a credential therapist by phone, video, or online chat, all from the comfort of your home. Visit BetterHelp.com to learn more and save 10% on your first month. That's BetterHelp, H-E-L-P. Boots.

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Boots. Boots. Boots. Boots. Boots. Boots. Boots. Boots. Boots. Boots. Boots. Hello and welcome to Two in the Think Tank, the show where we come up with five sketch ideas. Five sketch ideas. I'm Andy? And I'm definitely Alistair George William Thiryambilay Bearchiel.

Andy, so this was the dream. Did we say, oh, this is the podcast we come up with five sketch ideas? We already said that. I did say that, yeah. Oh, this is the podcast we come up with five sketch ideas. We already said that yeah Yeah, oh, this is the dream and he said I should tell them that I had a dream a couple nights ago And I was like a fish or something and The French were chasing us, but I was like a fish But I was part of a group and we were all Shapeshifters and the French in the like a like an old wooden galley of some sort were after us

Right and as they got close I kind of like shape shifted into like You know either a bigger fish like a you know a marlin or something like that And then they kind of got away and I was like yes But then they kept coming and then I shape shifted into like a bird and they flew up And I was like I remember seeing them above them and they were like, suddenly they were throwing nets up in the sky and I was like, and I had this realization, I was like, they're never gonna stop. That's how they win, they're just gonna keep going.

They're gonna keep going until we're all gone. Until we're all gone. Wow, sounds like you might have been briefly possessed by some sort of spirit animal of an indigenous culture maybe. I mean you sound a bit like you might have been Maui, the Polynesian. But I guess if there's the possibility of one Maui, then it means that the conditions under which a Maui was created could probably be replicated and you could probably have many Mauis. I mean that is the thing about gods, isn't it?

Is it like, why would there only be one? Does seem unusual that like, but I mean, but maybe that's me trying to apply the principles of science to something that lies beyond the dead hand of science. It's not that crazy to think that if there was a God that created a universe, then there could be other gods that created other universes. And that the gods could then do battle and maybe steal each other's universes. Yes, universe on universe. Do you think if there was a universe or a god war, like when Australia joined Britain in World War I out of a sense of, you know, sort of duty to the

empire, do you think if God started a fight with one of the other gods, human beings would feel obliged to go along and help God the fight Yeah, I Wouldn't I wouldn't though but But you might I mean I just don't know what I could do and the thing is that we would have to get in Outside of the universes which I imagine was where they fight Well, they'd probably be some sort of um

pan-dimensional armored personnel carrier that would allow you to to drop you off on the on the shores of infinity much like the ones that dropped our boys at Gallipoli. Well, do you think that maybe it's where there's like a maybe on earth would be there would be like an opening to another dimension to another earth like planet because God probably likes to fight with his followers doesn't he? I think so. Leads them into slaughter. I love leading them into slaughter. But maybe he wouldn't maybe God would prefer to be a general sort of behind the long way from the be a general sort of behind the, a long way from the front in some sort of command center, sending mere mortals in to fight against the infinite power of an actual God.

I think it's quite funny, the idea of us all running, screaming at an actual omnipotent god. Ha ha ha ha ha. Ah! Ah! We're all running in there. He just loves to fight mortals bare-handed. Ha ha ha ha.

And he just like, you know, he grabs us and he picks us up. He's huge. And he like lays us you know, he grabs us and he picks us up. He's huge. And he like lays us over one of his fingers, like, and then he just snaps our back over his fingers. Yeah. But I mean, the thing is he wouldn't just be huge. He'd be infinitely big, but he has to make himself merely huge so that he can enjoy the experience of snapping us like a twig. Yeah, absolutely.

Otherwise, can you hear my child currently yelling? What's that? I saw a lost doing? You want to say hi Andy? Hi poopoo mama. No! Oh no! Oh I fell right into your trap, Hux. Oh, I left myself wide open for that. I'm sorry that you had to hear that. Well, because I was expecting just a high Andy, I left all my defenses down. I lowered my shields and I gave those words like an open path to the innermost layers of my psyche. Like an

interdimensional God in a war. Like an international God war. Exactly. I mean that would be pretty impressive. I feel like a God would probably have the kind of gun that if he shoots you it makes you never have existed. Do you think they could come up with one of those in war because I mean because that's how you get rid of it like are your eternal souls mmm that'd be the only way I'll imagine that's a gun that kills your eternal soul does it leave your body still alive yeah your body your body is still alive, but there's... You just feel that emptiness.

You just get so sad. You get sad until you die, like increasingly sadder until you die. I mean, just the idea of a gun that makes people really depressed is quite funny. A gun that makes people depressed. It's like, you know, you have all the PTSD of war with none of the violence. Isn't that the dream, you know, that Like they wanted to be able to make bombs was the H bomb that they you know supposedly or a neutron bomb Maybe you can drop and it'll kill people but leave buildings standing well even better. What about this? Just completely destroy people's

Leave building and people standing, but only their heads will be hanging down. Exactly. It's like a vegan bomb. Like, that allows you to win a war but without killing any people or animals. Just make them not want to go on. Yeah. That's a good idea. I mean, cause you could imagine like hunters doing that in the, you know, they

like shoot them, you know, a mother deer of some sort and then they're like, well, and then she, but she runs off and then they're like, we'll track her down pretty soon and then she's just like laying down with a you know with like a Snuggy and she's got just chips or whatever like that Can't be fucked. I feel much sadder about this idea now that you made it an animal for some reason. Yeah Yeah You know when it was merely our fellow man from which we were stripping the dignity and the will to live yeah it's see it all seemed so light and fluffy

there was an animal had children I mean I think the problem is you tapped into the probably the very moment that I lost my innocence as a person and I realized that there was sadness in the world was when I went and saw Bambi for the first time and as a small child and was very unhappy. Yeah, that's I guess the moment that I had my soul stripped from my body. It's funny that there's stuff like that where, I guess now in a lot of kids' films, because it's like people are like,

oh, you know, you can't, I don't know. Like there is a thing where it's like now they kind of make the messages in films, even like Disney films or Pixar films, where it's like only the adults get the really sad stuff like they coded so that it's not quite like that like it's not like dog whistling is it but it's kind of like a dog whistle it's like a dog whistle but it's but it's for like people who are capable of depression yeah sad and true and true

deep sadness. It's the black dog whistle Alastair. It's the black dog Andy, that's very good. Oh thank you. Well you know I'm a satirist so that's why I'm so good at that kind of thing because of my satirical power. You'll be able to take down governments with that. Because like, you know, things like that where it's like, I guess bluey's a bit like that. And you know, like a movie like Soul. It's like, daddy, why are you crying? Well, you see, he's lived his whole life. And when he looks back on it, he is depressed with what he did.

And he regrets his entire existence. But the fiction in here is that he gets a second chance. Some of it. Yes. You see, but I'm reminded that I won't and every moment I waste is just gone. And what to you appears as a hopeful component of this story for me merely serves to underline the sadness and it's actually quite impressive what they've done. Even sitting here watching this film is I now consider to be a complete waste of my time.

You see, daddy is filled with dreams, but also the inability to get himself to sit down and complete and, you know, achieve them. And so it's a heaviness that I carry around all the time. Sometimes it's that distraction. It's that feeling that makes me not be spending as much time with you as I could be because I think I have to sleep at the computer and do some work and then I don't. And so then I'm not enjoying my time with you

and I'm not doing anything that I want. And so then I'm not I'm not enjoying my time with you and I'm not doing anything that I want and so then I get really sad Oh, but then that sadness does further stop me from being able to do things or enjoy my time with you So it's um, you know, it's not all bad. Some of it is terrible. I'm happy that we had this discussion So is that a sketch I think that is a sketch I think it is yeah I've written down the black dog whistle in films and I think that there is There's a sketch like possibility to it. I

Think you know, I think also at its simplest it is a, it could just be a thing. Very much as we acted out there, Alastair, with our incredible gift for performance of a dad just sitting there in a movie theatre and explaining those things to his son. Why are you crying? Well, son. And then you look back, he's actually not even watching anymore. He goes, he turned into a cat. He's in a key. He's a cat now.

Yes. Yes, that is good. He's a cat now. Yes. Yes, that is good. Because in a way you're rooting for him not to fix his life because you're like, I don't get to. I don't want you to get a chance to fix your... It's really yuck if ever you feel that way. R soul. Is that anything? R soul? Oh yeah, I see. Like R-soul. That's right. You heard me. What category does he have and that's bad people just have

an R soul. Exactly. I mean ace hole is not that far either. No but that sounds good doesn't it? I think you'd want one of those. An ace hole. Oh yeah. love a good nice ace hole. Yeah, what a B-Sole, C-Sole, C-Sole. C-Sole I think is some sort of liquid fertilizer. D-Sole. D-Lasole. E-sol, oh, re-sol, okay forget it. No, no, that's okay. Do you think we can come up with a cryptocurrency that is, that allows us to sell our immortal souls? I think that's a fun idea, but before we do this, I just wanna, no, I don't need to interrupt this idea

with what I was gonna say. It's nothing, it's nothing. I didn't wanna talk about that idea. As soon as I said it, Alistair, we've come up with too many ideas about cryptocurrency, which is something I fundamentally don't care about. Yeah, I understand. What I do care about is ideas like the one we just had about making children sad and us being sad. I think the kid still even wouldn't get it if you...

That's the thing is that the kid still wouldn't understand any of it even if you explained it to them like that Yeah, but then I mean, I hope you're right Alastair and that's But I feel like that almost gives us a little out, you know I feel like we're escape where we're making it not as sad as it could be this. Yeah He's a cat and go look at me then you turn the kids head towards it don't waste your life like I have sitting here watching this movie with you okay so I'm just letting you know that I am alone with alone with Hux today so yes you saw a giant squid oh my gosh I can't I'm gonna do this podcast with Andy Hux I that's the reason why you get to watch

Octonauts I can't sit with you running come here come here for a second okay the reason why you get to watch Octonauts is because daddy's got to do this recording So you got to not come and talk to me right now, okay? What? This is really nice though, what a glimpse Alistair before the the podcast started, you saw a groundhog. That's right. Oh my gosh. Okay, hang on.

I have to go get some water. While you're gone, I'm going to think of something. Okay, here's something. Right? Speak to groundhogs. You talk about the marmot. Yeah, the marmot. A marmot day.

That'd be a great sort of knock-off of Groundhog Day. Or maybe it would have to be marmot 24 hours. 24 hour marmot. There you go. It would be great to do a version of Groundhog Day from the point of view of the Groundhog. It would just be called. I guess they probably, Groundhog's probably just called Groundhog Day, they probably just call it normal day. So the film would be called normal day.

But then, you know, obviously it'd be the life of a marmot. So it wouldn't seem that normal to us. But Alastair, what about a, um, a, a version of Groundhog Day? Because that's what everyone makes now. So we just remake the movie Groundhog Day over and over again, because we just love the, the concept we did it with, um, Russian doll. We did it with Palm Springs. We did it with, um, Oh, what's another one? That other one.

It's such a tempting premise. Oh, it is. But what about this? You wake up day after day, and maybe days are random now. You move through time randomly. So it's just not the day after, Maybe days are random now. You move through time randomly. So it's just not the day after, it's some other random day,

at some other point in time. Could you construct a narrative out of that? So wait, so you, every day is a new day. Yeah, but. But it's at a random point in time yeah exactly in your life presumably yeah so you wake up and I mean I guess in the end I mean it's either I guess in the end there is still a limited number of days. And so, and so you would, you would end up going over them again and again.

Yeah, which was certainly. Well, I guess is like, you got to remember where you know, a lot of these films are about the nature of infinity. And so and so the idea is that they all get very good at living through these days yeah well this one isn't that though this one's about the nature of finity okay so you just get to relive your whole life but no you don't get to order life no no again you're wrong it's it'll seem like you're reliving days from your life but some of it are days that you haven't even lived yet but then you get different perspective so you get to be

old again and then it's so it's like it's like a mixture of Groundhog Day and And a night before Christmas or whatever a Christmas Carol where you get to see your future self Yeah, how things turn out? Yeah, will there be a ghost leading you? I don't know if there's a ghost but I think there probably would be a scene where you're on your deathbed you know, so you're on your deathbed and then you go back and You go and do a different day, but you can only ever do every day once right? Yeah, and I think but I think getting to be a kid again You know on a random day and I guess this is how you would do the storytelling because there'd be various things where you would

encounter something that maybe somebody felt or an anger that he had or a frustration or something like that, that you could probably encounter the cause of at some point when they're a kid or a teenager or something like that. Yeah, yeah, absolutely. And you would see maybe quite early on somebody on their deathbed maybe filled with regret and that sort of thing. But maybe they have multiple days on their deathbed. And so after flashing forward and having that first day on their deathbed, they then go back and have earlier points in their life where, with the knowledge of where they get to and what sort of regrets they experience

at the end of their life They then try and change other parts of their life and then find themselves back on their You know the second day on their deathbed. Hmm, so they're still there No, they're still there. Yes, but now Things have indeed changed It wasn't their final day and then they get to go and have their final day their final death day finally die and and then but maybe things are better in some way yeah or they just have to hold out not die

before midnight and that's when they flash to another day mm-hmm yeah every Yeah. Every time you're dying in a day you have to hold on until midnight. And then you get another day. I think that's right. Yes. Yeah. And you can sort of zip away. You know, someone will be chasing you, hoping to... maybe you got in some situation where somebody's chasing you, hoping to end your life brutally. But if you make it, the clock ticks to midnight, then as they lunge for you with their soul destroying knife, Yeah. you flash away, you're not there anymore, and you're back in a different day in your life. Yeah, it's kind of crazy to think that like some non-you-you kind of takes over in that moment. Yeah, what does happen? But I guess

it's kind of like supposed to be like a kind of quantum like time is not linear type idea like time is not linear type idea. And so that you all time exists at once. And so you could at some point end up in that second day where it's like, imagine that you wake, like you go to sleep and then you wake up and you're running and that guy's blade is just. Oh, you're back in that moment. Yeah.

You thought you'd got away with it. Yeah. That's a good bit. That's a funny bit of the film Right, you're back into the subsequent day Think it's a good idea Al Falling into place finally we can it's like we can find Groundhog Day, but not at all, you know what I mean? Groundhog Day, but not at all. You know what I mean as well? Yes. We'll call it Marmot Day.

Marmot Day. We'll call it, no, we'll call it, what's that other one that isn't a groundhog? Gopher? Gopher, yeah, I mean this could have been, it could have been a gopher. Let me just have a look at a gopher. These could all be the same names for this.

Oh, very similar kind of, oh no, a gopher's definitely a bit- I think Gophers are different. Gophers are quite small. Yeah. I went to the Gopher Hole Museum which is a sort of a quite macabre taxidermy thing in Canada. Yeah. Where it's all Gophers all dressed up in different little situations. All dead, but they're sort of been put into, you know, the old west or something like that. But you know what animals are related to, are related to the gopher, not the gopher but the groundhog. Groundhog? That would be the beaver.

I believe so that would be my guess and then the other one that is interesting is the is the squirrel. Oh the squirrel. So the squirrel are kind of like squirrels are just basically like like tree gophers I mean tree fucking groundhogs They're tree hogs Sky hogs their sky sky hog

Yeah, and so they're like this category which is like They're they're rodents, but there are really tolerable rodent. You know, you'd like you can really look at them and not be grossed out Yeah, why is it that like rats and mice, you go, and it just like makes, makes your innards, innards shiver. I think it's the tail. I think it's that slinky tail. Skin tail. Skin tail. Yeah. Put a rat tail on any animal and you would fuck that animal up. Like you would fuck that animal's psychological impact it has. Well so you claim but Alastair I don't think you can just say that unless you're willing to do the experiment

and graft a rat tail onto every single one of God's creatures. Put a proportional sized skin, like skin-colored rat tail onto a gorilla. Hmm. Hmm. Onto, but not just, not just onto a gorilla, onto, onto man itself. Yeah. You know? Onto, um, the most adorable of all

Because it looks like it is no bone in there at all. They don't even get to wag it It just looks like it just is a good point I wonder if there is bone in there there must be bone in there But you'd be like what's the point in having bone in there? But then if there's no bone in there, and they can't they must be able to control it somehow Does the tail do anything? I don't know. What does it achieve? Yeah, I mean like, you know, you want to have a tail like a kangaroo where you get to like lean back on it Like it's like a recliner feature Maybe a rat maybe rats can like tangle their tail around and dangle off things tangle and dangle. Yeah, you know

Hang I mean it feels crazy to not be able to do it at all tail around and dangle off things, tangle and dangle. Yeah. You know? Hang. I mean, it feels crazy to not be able to do it at all. But then that barely feels useful for them. Yeah. Like, can't be, because what it is, is it's just like an extra, like it's basically your body length again, giving anything that tries to pursue you just that slightly better chance of catching you, right? Like a cat trying to catch you. There's no point having this fucking cord hanging off the back that they can just grab onto.

Like a handle. It's like a handle. Right? It's a rat handle. And actually that's kind of how Sylvester or Tom or Jerry or whatever, they always seem to catch the mouse by the tail. Yes. And then they have this like handle that they can hold it with where the mouse can't like bite you from. Hmm. So maybe that's it. Maybe they were designed specifically for that by God. Yeah, maybe it helps. I don't know. Why would that help you evolutionarily to be more eatable? I guess if these creatures eat you guys, because you breed you breed so fast if creatures eat or

Edible then the animals the predators become full and then they won't chase everybody Yeah, that makes sense I'm pretty sure it'll sticks out but also they're a creature that often Are scavengers, so maybe they need Like they need to be living near predators you know like oh wow and keeping the predators reasonably well fed yeah alive so that they can catch the big score sometimes so that they can you know scavenge off of that well you got to spend money to make money. Exactly. You got to spend money to make money. And maybe you've got to be killed horribly so you can live happily. That makes sense. You see son, he's a, the reason why daddy's crying is because he's a mouse but he was born with a

tail and you see that means that he's easily more catchable, but there's many of them. And so as an individual, he doesn't matter. But for a group, it is beneficial for them to be catchable like that, because then the predators from which they live, the scraps of, they just feed them sometimes to fill gaps in them catching bigger prey that they can then feed their sort of mouse families off of. So yeah, that's why I did pop up.

I've been thinking a lot recently about religions and how it is like an evolutionary thing, an evolutionary advantage I presume for the gene pool as a whole to have these stories that people are willing to sacrifice their lives for, so that you can operate as a bigger, more powerful unit, bigger than the family unit and and go and defeat other Yeah, I guess religion could be the reason why we're the last humans Yeah Like it could be an exact like belief system that it would took to wipe out Difference to wipe out anybody who seemed like they wouldn't join some whatever cult

we had created. I would say that is exactly correct. Yes. Like, that is- And, you know, yes, it's a big evolutionary advantage to be able to die for a cause when you think about the evolutionary advantage to the species as a whole. But it's the, maybe that's the like, or the species or the subset of the species or whatever. But like it turns the evolutionary unit into this bigger mass that can operate like a, I guess like a hive or something like that. And then I guess the nation, the nation and the concept of a nation also kind of acts as a

religion in a way for yeah because so many people are like I'm proud of where I'm from. Yeah but you would say that no matter where you're from. Where you were from. And so that doesn't mean that that place is necessarily good. It just happens that it is good. And you know, but then maybe no place is absolute shit. Maybe it's just a, you know, a leader that makes a place particularly. Yeah, I wonder if there are any people from any places who are like who the, the

dominant philosophy, you know, vibe of the places, this place is shit and we deserve to be conquered and defeated. Yeah. Like, yeah, that one country where they like, they're trying to get conquered. Please. Why won't another country that country that actually can run itself? Why won't they take us over? We need a new culture. We need... they're just like everybody's down on their national cuisines. Everybody hates their... But they keep making it. Well, they don't have any files do they have?

Save us from ourselves. We keep doing this. Um, yeah. And then... Everyone knows therapy is great for solving problems. But getting therapy has its own problems too. Like finding the right therapist, fitting into their schedule, and of course, the cost.

Well, BetterHelp can solve those problems. It's totally online and built around your schedule. It's surprisingly affordable too. Connect with a credentialed therapist by phone, video, or online chat, all from the comfort of your home. Visit betterhelp.com to learn more and save 10% on your first month. That's BetterHelp, H-E comfort of your home. Visit betterhelp.com to learn more and save 10% on your first month. That's BetterHelp H-E-L-P.

And instead of having an army, a defensive army, what they would have, I guess, would be some sort of welcoming committee. You have to go and do a national service for two years when you leave school in the armed, not the armed forces, but the open armed forces. I mean they would try various things to attract people, some of it would be free hugs obviously like you're, you know, there probably would be some attempting to seduce, you know, you'd be like, ooh, doing little strip teases near the border. But it feels like in a way that demands a sort of a level

of confidence and self-belief that maybe this nation wouldn't possess. Yeah. You know, you've got to think yourself beautiful before you're gonna believe other people. Yeah, they've been shot with a depression gun, so to speak. A low self-esteem, uh, power. I mean, you know, just the idea that you could put low self-esteem bullets into the, into the depression gun. This is a high caliber low self-esteem bullet these are psychological armor piercing bullets not psychological armor what's a

better word for that these are coping mechanism no but there was like you know you put up your walls that kind kind of thing. Psychological wall piercing. I think psychological armor worked for me but. Okay, great. That's good, that's good. Do you think the bullets are invisible? Do you think the bullets are invisible? Because they're so abstract.

Yeah, I think they probably would be. But the gun does have a hole in it. Oh yeah and there is a big recoil as well when you shoot. Something is coming out. Yeah. I mean I guess there would be an equal and opposite force. Do you think that, I don't know, do you think that it would just, even just shooting it would make you just momentarily feel a moment of elation like...

You mean like a regular gun? Yes. Don't you get that from all weaponry? Even just looking at it. Sometimes just googling it and reading the specs of the... do you not have that you know you close your eyes and you just picture the power in your hands I imagine shooting like it like the depression gun towards like. They'd have to like have like. I'm going down. That's just him going down in a spiral. I'm spiraling. The plane's not spiraling. And then you know, Mayday, Mayday. No but then the co-pilot has to like give the pilot some ecstasy or something like that. Like some MDMA. Yeah. We're losing him. He started to drink. It's all good Alastair. I'm pretty tired and so sometimes when I reach for

something there's nothing there. I had a feeling there was something I could add to that conversation. And maybe there was. That was some of the thickest songs I've heard on this pod. You know? I think my brain went completely blank. Yeah, but that's nice. It's possible, though, that we've got five sketch ideas written down. And it's also possible that we would be doing the listeners a service.

Yes. A national service. We would be doing them at this service of going to three words from a listener. Andy, well, it's funny that you should mention listeners because we have them and and the listeners love to send in three words after that they've given us a Three monies So why not I So why not I find a word that I forgot to collect but I've got one now. It is from listener Brayden Douglas. Oh hang on Huxley is here.

Yes Hux? Brayden Douglas. My bottle is dripping. Your bottle is dripping? Oh no was it dripping onto the couch? Okay, will you go sit on the couch? And I'll be done here in not too long. Thanks for letting me know. I reckon we've got about one octanauts left.

Okay, we've got one octanauts. That could be still like 20 minutes maybe. Or maybe 12, I can't remember how long they are. Yeah, I think that's probably closer to the mark. Yeah, that's what I think that's probably closer to the mark Yeah All right Alright, I don't know who that Japanese guy who wrote that is or woman but that Miyoki Miyoki I don't know those that person feels like they've created a

An empire with that with that show That person feels like they've created an empire with that show. Anyway... The Octonauts? Yeah, I mean it seemed like it was a pretty big book series before it became a show, right? Yeah, alright. Okay, I had no idea. Yeah, I don't know anything about Octonauts. On the opening of it, it does mention based off the books of, I think, Miyoki.

But I digress Andy. When I type in Miyoki nothing comes up so I could be entirely wrong. Now, Brayden Douglas, long time listener, not the first time word submitter, but are you prepared to hear and guess the words, hear them once you try to guess them and potentially guess them wrong? Yes Alastair, I'm prepared. Yeah?

Yeah. Alright, well I'm ready to receive your prepared. I hope Brayden is prepared as well. Okay, here we go. Um, the first word is cuticle. Cuticle. I should have said, I should have said, think carefully before you. I should have said, think carefully.

I should have said, oh, and by the way, the first word is not cuticle. Yeah. Oh no. God damn. I didn't, I clearly didn't prepare you well for this. Okay. It's not cuticle, Andy.

And I hope I made it. I was trying to make that clear. First word is stall. Stall, S-T-A-L-L. I can feel another Hux interruption coming. A? Stall. Hux, you gotta give me a few more minutes, okay?

Stall. Thank you. Stall, okay, second word. Second word, for. Stall, for. Stall, for. Let me look. Well, you got the R right right but the second word is wart stall what ah like stalwart but I mean maybe the last word is supporter or

friend which is it is it supporter or friend I'm gonna say supporter. I'm sorry Andy the third word is No, it's a it is Walmart That's funny words. That's a funny word. Stall wart Walmart. Yeah. Yeah, wow.

I mean, of course the first thing that I picture, Alastair, is a Walmart that you can go to and the floor is kind of wet, like the changing rooms in a swimming pool. And you don't wear shoes in this Walmart. So everybody's contracting warts on their feet, barukas. Now, it wouldn't, out of like, you know, with Walmart's reputation, it wouldn't be that crazy to picture all of the customers,

like the liquid is coming from the customer's feet. And that all the customers have kind of just warty legs and feet and they walk around and it just oozes, warts all over the vinyl tiles. Yeah but why are they not wearing shoes then? Why are they not wearing shoes? What's the logic? It's not part of their culture. Ah, it's their culture. Where they're from.

Their bacterial culture. their culture, where they're from. Their bacterial culture. Yeah. I think it's more, it's more just, I think it's poverty, I think. But, but then it's- Is that a culture? Well, I think poverty mixed with a laissez faire attitude. You know, I guess you can tell that I've been living in Quebec for a bit and I'm starting to say quite a few more French words

Lese Lese About lezo fare. Yes, that's when you let things be a lesbian lesbian. Ironically, they're often quite hands on. Yeah. Well, that's why. That's why you don't want to intervene. You know? I take a real like, you know, wildlife photographer's approach to lesbianism. And then, you know wildlife photographers approach to lesbianism. And I don't get involved and I just take its course. But do you photograph it? No, sorry.

I mean, but you can see why someone might ask that question Based on the scenario you made you created all by yourself Alastair Placed on the chessboard by you People who say same-sex couples and are female. That's not... I don't know how I didn't see that. I have a wildlife photographer's attitude. Oh my god. You know, as I was saying, my brain was going, there is something wrong with what you're saying, but people will get

it. And I couldn't think of what the thing that was wrong was. I mean, I guess the problem you're up against, Alastair, is that while on a deeper level and a more fundamental philosophical level, wildlife photographers, yes, they are noted and indeed famous for their hands-off approach to the actions of the wildlife that they're documenting. The problem you face is that the word photography is in the name of the wildlife photographer. So very often before people get to consider the deeper philosophical underpinnings of the entire art form,

they are confronted with the practical reality, which is that they do take photographs of things. Yeah, I should have said retired wildlife photographer. I realize my mistake now. A wildlife photographer with a broken camera who's just recently dropped his very expensive camera and doesn't have another camera like a sock on his ankle. Oh, that's a good idea though. Yeah. That a photographer is, I mean, how does it work? Do you think the photographer is being attacked

by say a protective silverback gorilla and has had their camera smashed away by the silverback? But then as the photographer lies bloodied and beaten on the ground, they are able to sneak a small camera out of their sock. You know where I think that this would work? I think it would be a funny thing. Like, you know how they make films,

I guess like something like The Wrestler, or about kind of like a dying industry or somebody who can barely survive in their own industry anymore. You know, it's like the end of, uh, you know, I don't know, coal mining or, or, you know, like a lost old art that's been replaced by a machine. Um, yes. And, but this is about the paparazzi that, you know, like the, they don't get

those front page photos anymore that are worth a million bucks. Yes. Sorry. You wanna be a ghost what, sorry Hux? A ghost basket? Can you give me 10 more minutes and then I just gotta finish this episode and then we can see if we can make you into a ghost basket. I'm really sorry.

No, it's a, it's an interesting texture to the episode. Um, uh, uh, I think you're right. I want to hear the rest of that idea. I mean, it is going to be very interesting for paparazzi when AI photography. Just renders it all meaningless, right? Like when you can just generate a picture of any celebrity doing anything, how will- I guess that that would only be possible

if everything was kind of being filmed at all times, you know, like any public outing was constantly being filmed or photographed, and then the AI was just filtering through the stuff to find the stuff that had any value. But can't the AI just generate the images is what I'm saying. I think that deep down nobody gives a shit about like an AI paparazzi shot because it's not an actual sighting of somebody.

No, but I guess if you're operating a magazine, right? And all you do is publish sort of expose photos, you know, like when there were those maybe topless photos of Kate Middleton or something like that in France, you know, and it was just some paparazzi had been hiding somewhere, being a creep, and taking these photos. I had a super, super long lens or whatever.

Yeah, exactly. And now any paparazzi can just sit on the computer and be like, super long lens photograph Oh, let's see, Emmanuel Macron dipping his balls into a glass of milk on a yacht off the coast of Morocco. And they generate that image there and they got that amazing image. They sell that to a magazine. Yeah, I think it's the selling it to the magazine part that I find that hard to believe because the magazine itself would be like, well, we can of course just do that ourselves if we want to AI create an AI photo.

But they will sell it as legitimate, obviously, right? The paparazzi is going to say, oh no, this is real. This is my point. The paparazzi will say this is real. The magazine, which is model is based on getting these-off photographs that nobody else would have one of anyway That's the whole point of the photograph So they can't corroborate whether or not this is real and if the photographs are good enough There's no way to tell you see what I'm saying. Yeah, I think so

No, you don't well you don't and you're not interested in in finding out. No, no, no, you don't. Well, you don't. And you're not interested in finding out either. No, no, no, no. You don't care enough. But I think I hate AI. Yeah, oh yeah. And I don't believe in what it's capable of. And it kind of just, you know, it's like I think about mentioning it in a sketch

and it just, it makes me sad. You see, son. You know, it's the creative work. People think that the computers will be able to do it and then therefore that they don't need to do it but they still think that they're a creator when they do it. Yes, that's sort of almost the saddest bit isn't it? Yeah. The person who's typing the things in and thinking god I'm a good oh look at me doing the same kind of art as people who work really hard on it but I'm a bit just that bit cleverer because I've found a way to do it it's just a tool it's just a tool nah mate you're just the tool yes yeah

what were the words again okay it was stalwart Walmart okay Hux do you want to say one more thing I still just need some time. Can you go watch one more episode of Octonauts? Sorry, darling Can I I'll just go put something else on apologies and then you start on the stalwart wall I'm gonna do so well with this Alastair. Don't worry about that. Don't you worry about that? Well, what about this? And what about the opposite of a pharmacy? A place where you can go, a Walmart, if you will, where you can see arranged on the shelves

all the diseases of the world, and you can choose your diseases. And you can, you can, I wonder if that exists, I wonder if on the black market along with all the things about like all the drugs that you can buy on the dark web and the weapons that you can import and that sort of thing, you can buy just various different sicknesses and illnesses and germs and that sort of thing and then you, you know, not necessarily to kill somebody, but, you know, maybe you have an enemy and you think it would be good if they had a big wart on their thumb.

And so you buy on the dark web, you buy some wart powder or something, you go around to their house and you spread it on a few surfaces the door knobs and That kind of thing and then you can just sort of infect them, you know, not again not killing but this is a kind of a you could put it in a In a baggie that looks like cocaine and then they snort it and then they get all and then they snort it and then they get all warts up in their nose. Oh my god. And down there like the back of their throat. Oh, it's so horrible to imagine, but yes, Alastair.

I mean, do you think you can do that? Do you think there's a website where you can go and they've... Some Russian cyber criminal has collected various different strains of various different unpleasant conditions, you know. Yeah, and their specialty is they take various funguses and things like that and they make them look like cocaine powder? I don't know if it's just cocaine that they do. Cocaine lookalikes. But you can just buy a sample of some sort of disease that you can infect somebody with

an enemy. Oh yeah, like a biochemical warfare one stop shop. Yeah. But again, not to kill kill people but say you had an enemy at work right and you're both going up for a presentation and you just want to be able to give them a really bad cold. So not warfare more like rival fair. Mmm more like um let's see bit of Bifo biochemical Bifo. Bifo-fair. Mmm.

Because it's got to be a fair, because you're, you know, you're buying things. Of course. You know, warfare. The warfare. Yes. Bifo-fair. I like it. Is that what fair means?

Fair means buying something, isn't it? But then you don't, you you don't when you say warfare It's not because you're saying buying things you're just saying It's I mean it's it's does fair mean buying things. What's an example of where that? means that Let's see. Oh, this is good fair. This is good pub fair. We tried in good in pub fair You know traditional pubfair, meals, music, in a meals entertainment, we don't have,

we don't need pokies, we're a community pub. We tried in traditional pubfair, that's the guy who owns the Tathra Pub from some video that he made about 2010 or something like that with ABC Illawarra, I think. That's the reason I really remember it really well. Did he say the word fair a lot? Um, yeah.

It was a path that he might have said it once. And that's how I've based my whole knowledge of the meaning of fair off of that. Yeah well I wonder if the fair in warfare is the same fair. If it is it really proves to you that words can be you know they can travel a long distance they can do vastly different things or at least thrive in different contexts, still doing what they do best. But being words, conveying meaning. I'll tell you what, if I want to convey a meaning, nine times out of 10, I reckon I turn to a word. You know, it'd be cool if you could like just buy a cold, you know, like buy a

spritz of a cold virus or whatever like that. You know, like buy a spritz of a cold virus or whatever like that. And then if you really needed to, you could, you know, spray it into somebody's like plate of eggs or something like that. I mean, you'd probably... Yeah, that's exactly what I was describing. Yeah, well, that's, I know that's why I was, I was, I thought I was praising your, your idea by saying that would be good. I mean, I don't think I would use

the service. But do you, I mean maybe it would be good to be able to turn the cold spray on yourself and give yourself an actual cold if you needed it, you know, in order to get out of something. If you had a work that really needed you, you had to have like a doctor's certificate and doctors became way more strict about giving those out? Mm-hmm. Yeah. Do you think that there's like,

you could picture a makeup artist who could be giving you tips on how to make yourself look sick for like a Zoom-based medical appointment where you wanna get doctor's appointments I know you want to get it you want to get a doctor's doctor's certificate sorry some sort of let's see what would you call this person who who teaches people how to do makeup cosmetics in order to make it look like they have say the flu. Would you call them maybe a makeup influenza? Influenza.

Or an influenza, an influenza, influenza. Yeah, I think that's something Andy. Maybe it's not everything, but maybe it's just the something we needed to end this podcast. To end this pod, Andy. Sorry about all the disruptions. I loved it, and I think the listeners will have a good time too. Hux has been a minor character on this show, and so it's nice for him to get an episode.

It's one of the Huxley episodes well I guess yes as the show wears on we run out of material to do storylines with us the two main characters and we start really picking up on some of the minor characters and giving them a real run. Yeah a lot of the time it's like people just assume that we had kids based off of how many tired episodes that we have. And then suddenly for them to actually, you know, manifest into actual episodes and for us to never edit them out.

It's really good storytelling on our part. It's a whole world, it's world building. Yeah. Alastair do you want to quickly read the sketches to us really quickly? Yes I do. God is gonna be like a blaze of lightning. Interdimensional God war. It's where the gods you know they get us to fight for them or enjoy killing us. Gun that makes people depressed. We've got these the black dog whistle in films. We've got random day movie that's like it's not like Ground Hawk Day but in a way a little bit. We've got the country where people want to be taken over because they're not proud of where they're from. We've got the dying photographer with a camera in his sock

that he can just take one last photo of as a silent and maybe steal his soul. I don't know if that's, he's getting, he's getting destroyed by it. He's being murdered by a person from a culture that thinks that taking a, having your photo taken steals your soul. A lot of soul based stuff

It's good good soul episode Then we got the biochemical where or fair or bifo fair one-stop shop Or rival fair bifo would be a great name for a sort of an upstart Arms sales website, you know, just a startup. That's true. Really disrupting the whole thing. It feels like the name that like a Murdoch company would start for their for their international warfare, like arms dealing

company. Yes, because they had they had they had one that was like a betting app as well, I think that had, but you know, KO, that's their one. That's their sports. They've had a few. Sports, yeah, yep. Yeah, anyway, Biff of a very good, and then we've got Makeup Influencer.

Yes, Alastair, we bloody did it. Good on you, mate. Good on you, mate. You enjoy your road trip. You're about to go on. You have already gone on by this point. By this point, I could be almost in Halifax, Canada. Gosh.

I love the name Halifax. Yeah. Love it. It doesn't feel like a place name. Feels like it's got, feels like no other place name for anywhere in the world. Just that X in there is just such a curve ball. Yeah, an X is great in a name.

Very straight in fact. And it's amazing though, because we have had intrusions from somebody with an X in their name as well during this episode. So it all comes together, Andy, right? And there you go. We're going to go to the song. Thank you so much for listening to In the Think tank. And you're with the bloody melody there. A little piano solo. That was good.

We appreciate everything you do for us. Everything you do. Thank you so much to everyone who supports us on Patreon. Hey, is this a crazy time to start asking people to leave us a five star review on iTunes? Yeah, leave us a five star review. I mean, you know, if you like child interruptions. It helps people to find the podcast. Yeah, oh, it helps people to find the podcast.

You know, if you're ever on a really big podcast, mention us. Yes. We're not getting to have as much time, you know, to go out and do big podcasts and stuff. So you know, if you get a chance. You're online and somebody asks you to plug your podcast, just plug ours. Yours is probably doing fine. Or if you're ever like speaking to like a national audience or you're like you're receiving a gold medal and doing an interview or something like that.

If any of our listeners are going to the Olympics this year, good luck. Is it this year or is it next year? Oh, of course. We always wanna wish good luck to our Olympians. Yeah, and Olympian listeners. I mean, you know, obviously World Champs is fine too. We're not gonna do. It occurred to me the other day, all the Olympians in every event

probably know each other really well. Oh yeah. Because you'd think that it's like, oh, it's like it's more like, you know, like blood sport, where they all just like get transported from like isolated lands where they've, you know, some recruiter has found the best from each place, but they've probably been competing for tens of years since they're kids against each other. And when they pass each other going

like hey Fred nice shoes, how's the family? That kind of stuff. And they're probably training in the same advanced facilities somewhere. Yeah, exactly. They've probably got the same guy injecting the undetectable performance enhancing drugs into their veins. Yeah. All right, Andy. know, performance enhancing drugs into their veins.

Yeah. All right, Andy. Thanks very much everybody for listening. Andy, thank you very much for staying up for this. And we. Thank you for getting up for this. And we. Love. You. You. Bye.

Bye bye. Bye bye. Bye. From the world of Sonic the Hedgehog, a new hero arrives. Bye bye. Bye bye. Bye.