Two In The Think Tank - 426 - "INADEQUATE GOD"

Episode Date: May 21, 2024

Acast Oral Tradition, Church of God the Deadshit, God Punk, Tree You Can Drive, Lose All Meaning, Tongues, All Smelling GodThere's never been a better time to order Gustav & Henri from Andy and Pete's very own online shop.Check out Stupid Old Studios' COMEDY LAB here and support the artist fund if you can.You can support the pod by chipping in to our patreon here (thank you!)Join the other TITTT scholars on the TITTT discord server hereHey, why not listen to Al's meditation/comedy podcast ShusherDon't forget TITTT Merch is now available on Red Bubble. Head over here and grab yourselves some material objectsYou can find us on twitter at @twointankAndy Matthews: @stupidoldandyAlasdair Tremblay-Birchall: @alasdairtb and instaAnd you can find us on the Facebook right here Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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slash closer to get started. Me? Yes. Hello, Andy. How are you? I'm good. Thank you. I'm just popping up before the podcast to quickly plug something I've got coming up It's an episode of two in the think tank and I've got a topic that I'm quite interested to kick off the episode with so Looking forward to that anyway Listen to that if you can You can listen to it where you're listening to this right now. That's the great thing about it

I sometimes you know get trapped into thinking that you know because things are so good in that we are able to utilize nature's resources in such interesting ways. Like when I look at my computer, when I talk to you... Should we tell people that it's the Twin the Think Tank podcast? Where the podcast where we come up with five sketch ideas? I'm Andy, I'm also George William from... Are you angry at me? Are you a bit disappointed? Not at all. Andy, not disappointed, not even angry. I'm feeling no emotion other than we should say the British. Are you angry at me? Are you a bit disappointed? Not at all. Andy, not disappointed, not even angry.

I'm feeling no emotion other than, we should say the intro. It's a very modern emotion. It is, it is. They never used to have that, you know. It's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, forget it. It's like allergies, you know, it's a, forget it. It's like allergies, you know? It's like allergies or depression, you know?

They never had that back in the day. Now, everybody's going on about needing to do the intro to the podcasts. We never used to do that when I was a boy. Yeah, I wonder who were the guys who used to, you know, who had the oral tradition of telling, like, the Odyssey or something like that, you know, they'd walk around and tell this long poem. Do you think that they would, they would start sneaking in like little, like little intros about themselves and little ads to sell products after the show and stuff

like that. What you're describing right here is our first sketch idea. Oh look at that. Acast presents. Acast Plus presents the oral tradition. I think it's great. I think it's great. It's Homer's doing one of his famous recitals of the Odyssey and you know in the middle he stops in between you know Odysseus escaping the the Cyclops and going to that island where they all get turned into pigs or whatever and he does a little a little read a little sponsor read and if you hmm and and and then and then what's his name Agamemnon reaches in his bag and he

pulls out a cold glass I mean a nice warm glass of mead. Yeah cold, no they wouldn't have had that. I think. No they wouldn't have had that and then he's, then he goes, he sips one and then he sends a guy around the crowd with money like that and then he can, they can buy it like that and people can join in. It's a new interactive thing but also where he realized he could sell a lot of merch it's great and he also does a lot of plugs for Squarespace but of course for him Squarespace just refers to the the regular shape of the temple of the Parthenon fuck it fuck it fuck it I was a round town Pythagoras and they were only just figuring out squares and they could

actually just give you square spaces. That's way better than mine. That's really good. People thought that it was very novel. They've recently invented the right angle and you know they can help the square space will help you to assemble four right angles into a square. Anyone can do it. We've got a template. A template, great.

All you got to do is just drag and drop your pen inside the template and just scratch it along the outside Drag and drop that's my fucking life. I drag myself to work and I drop my ass into a seat Then I drag some jokes out of my mom Drop them into the word documents then I drag my trousers down around my legs and I drop a into the Word document. Then I drag my trousers down around my legs and I drop a turd into the bowl. Onto the computer desk. Right onto the desk of my boss.

Then I drag my ass to the boss's office. Very good. And I drop the C-bomb. This is you changing careers. Yes. Now Andy, there was something that you wanted to say at the beginning. I wanted to say that you know sometimes it seems like the world is made for us right in the way that like you know that the common thing is that like you look around and you're like, isn't this amazing? All the things that we need are here. It's like the world has been made for our needs.

Of course, that's not the case. We've evolved to fit in the ecological niche that exists. And yes, we've shaped the world around us. And we've also shaped the world. Indeed. But of course, it would be weird if we had shaped it in such a way that wasn't convenient for us. But the- Made apples the size of your fucking head. Yes.

But then sometimes I get caught into thinking about, but what about electricity, right? When we evolved, there was no electricity that we could manipulate in the way that we do now. And to make things like, you know, the fact that electricity is capable of being used for things like computer screens and telecommunications, all this latent potential that was never realized in the environment until we were able to capture and refine and control these fundamental facets, features of nature in such elaborate ways. It's crazy that electricity had this electricity thing that had only ever been like a lightning

in the sky or little sparks in your brain or whatever, that had all this potential to do all this stuff that would never have happened, right? But it was all there. It could be used in such a way. It's crazy that that potential in electricity existed the whole time but was not and now we can, right? And that sort of sometimes tricks my brain into thinking what must have been put there, whoever designed electricity must have built this capacity into it. But of course, whatever it was that existed in nature, as a sentient being evolves and learns to manipulate nature, this is my more recent thinking about it, is that of course whatever there is in nature, we will learn to refine and to concentrate and to control because that's what our conscious sentient brain does in order to control the environment around us.

And so whatever it was, if it hadn't been electricity, we would have found a way to make computers out of something else, like the wind or vibrations or something like that, you know. There were, there are some guys that have said that they've proven mathematically that you could run doom on crabs. And it takes a certain billion number of crabs but you could run doom on crabs. Now I don't understand this. But I mean but I don't understand regular computers so is there any difference? Yeah, but a great example also of what you're saying is that at the moment there are these

people who are claiming that they've created propulsion less, no wait, like... Propellant less? Is it propellant? Propellant lessless? Is it propellant? Propellant-less propulsion for space. Yeah. And that they've achieved enough that it can break Earth's gravity now. But the problem is that they're,

it's because they've seen little snippets of evidence that it works, and they followed the same thing, like you were saying, with the lightning, right? Even though the physics says that this can't work yes and there's something in there that they're like but if you do this you do still see like increasing amounts of evidence that this this works and works like and so they're kind of still just following that little thing like that little flash in the sky or that little thing you go down a slide and you touch somebody and there's a little bit of electricity between you. Yeah

And they're trying to refine that and to concentrate that whatever that little snippet of something or other is and make it create A rocket that I can play doom on yes But are you bringing this up because you think these people are full of shit or? Because you think that they might be opening the door to an entire new tomorrow? Well I think that I mean from the articles I read it seemed like it was legitimate people, it seemed like a guy who was like a former NASA guy. Yeah but some of those former what's it this and that and the other they're always the most fucked up psychos.

No absolutely that's how you get an article written about it. But I think that there's multiple places that are following some kind of thing. I was mentioning it because you mentioned seeing the potential in a flash in the sky or something like that. Or these people may, this may be off somebody finding a little bit of potential when they've noticed something. Or, you know, it's like some little bit, some little thread from science

that hasn't been pulled on enough yet. Because people were like, well, there's not enough funding and there's also not enough like, there's still, you know, like the UFO thing. There's like when there's a lot of negativity scientifically around something. People don't tend to follow it as much just because it's too hard to be around your peers.

It's peer pressure, baby. It's your- That peer pressure. Peer review pressure. So there's gotta be a sketch somewhere in this. Were you heading towards a sketch? I don't know if I was heading towards a sketch idea except to say that like the other thing that I remind myself is that you can also just about imagine ways in which things could

be better. Like if the world had been designed for us, you can imagine things that would be better. Like it would be better, like electricity is great. It's amazing all the things that you can do, but it'd be great if you didn't have, like if you could just have like wireless electricity, right? And I know you can have induction and that kind of thing, but it doesn't really work very well and doesn't work over great distances. It's a shame we've got to have like cables running everywhere

to carry the electricity. So if like, if things really work, like there are still limits and if things really were great, properly designed and funky and, you know, a god or whatever had done it, you'd put that in, you know? So I think, uh, maybe... You think no god? Maybe, maybe no god or maybe just an inadequate God. Maybe just a God who isn't so great and maybe we should have a new church that

instead of praising God complains to God. Yeah and gives him a hard time. Gives him a hard time. Yeah we believe it in him, we just think he's a bit shit. That is a funny thing because people go, you know, they say well you know there's these babies that are born in constant pain blah blah blah how is this possible why would you know a great God do this? And they go turns out that we have one we do have a God but he's just awful. He's just not that great. A terrible god. Yeah, he's just a shit god. That's the problem, they shouldn't have said he was omnipotent, right?

You say, oh, you know, he's like anybody, he's got his limitations. There's some things he can't do, right? And that explains, and like he can do a lot, obviously, look at all this stuff he's done. But I mean... Yeah. I think they needed to not say that he loves you no matter what. Yeah, right.

I think a guy who's that big and that, you know, that powerful probably wouldn't give much of a shit. Yeah. Yeah, well that- I think that's the part that they were trying to sell to us to get recruits into their church, which is not God. Right. That is their other problem. That's their thing that they use the little thread of God. They said God watches everything. Right. He knows everything. But if they'd said, yeah, God isn't really paying attention, that would give another really good reason that makes the all the praying stuff seem a lot more useful right and you got it obviously you got to get a lot of people down at church singing real loud to get God's attention because he's flighty you know he's he's off chasing butterflies or whatever he's

got a real attention issue so that's, does that help? Not only in his own mind, but also there's so many other people who all meet at the same time on the same day. That was stupid. That was really stupid. God shouldn't have said on the seventh day, you know, that'll be your resting day.

He should have said, look, here's a roster, okay? Here's a rotating timetable with weeks on weeks off basically these are my windows and you can pray at these times but obviously during peak times it'll take us a lot longer to get back to you you should be able to request a call back from God. That would be good. Yeah. And then, and then instead of like, because he's not great, you kind of got like, you kind of got to like pray to him to like motivate him kind of be like, come on God,

you stupid idiot. You got to give me something. Yeah. I mean, I love that. Absolutely. You have absolutely been a dog to me. Yes. You've got to just use a bit of your magic, you stupid piece of shit. You just... If you don't, I'll tell you what, I'm going to kill one of your favorite children. Yeah, that's good. It'd be good if it went that way.

We've done it before and we'll do it again. That's what we should have done. know how would you hurt God how would you well when we captured Jesus that was our mistake was killing him right away we should have held on to him right and used him to extort God for some that's right once you've got a lot of as long as possible of life as long as possible. Yes. Keep sending, sending God some of his fingers. Yeah, that's right. On catapults. Oh, firing them up into the sky. It's a really good idea. I think our... I wonder whether if, yeah. Our church of God, the dead shit or whatever. It explains so many flaws in religion. I think it solves a lot of the problems that they've had with motivating people and their entire

raise on detra. Yeah. I think it removes almost the need for faith. You you gotta have faith in a guy who's all powerful and good and everything like that. You know, it's like you really gotta like overcome some mental barriers to allow that to exist in your mind. But to have a shit bloke who's sort of maybe even accidentally created everything and is now left in charge. Sure, and still can do some things, but he's like a landlord that you've got a hassle to get him to come around and fix the black mold in the bathroom.

You know, he doesn't wanna do it. That would be good though, if you could pray away some black mold. Oh, that would be really good. How would you do that? A whole, I mean really good. How would you do that? I mean imagine this though, that this is, in the last episode we said that this was gonna be the end of the punks things because we said human punk or whatever.

And but when we thought, oh there's nothing that could else could be done, but what about this god punk? God! Things can only be done. Can only be done by God. Actually, there is no functional human labor. You just have to get God to do everything. That's a really good idea! But I mean, is it like literally you've got to pray to like say you want to take the bins out or whatever you've got to pray you've got to ask God and then God will like teleport

the bins out or something like that. Is that it? Like you want a sandwich you've got to pray to God and then God will manipulate the, open the fridge and manipulate the fixings of the sandwich and slice it, flop it down in front of you. You've got to pray every... Nature is still as it was. That seems to kind of operate naturally.

But all the stuff that seems, appears to be manmade was all made by people praying to God and then God doing it. That's incredible, that's perfect. God punk, we did it. I mean I think we did previously have an idea where we captured God and we used him to like power ships or something like that, possibly. But this is different. This is, it's, it's faith punk, it's prayer. It's, yeah, divine power. But then I guess the story, if you were picturing a story with it,

you're, I guess you're seeing God struggling. You're seeing God not wanting to keep going and. For sure. I mean I guess you could have an... I guess you'd just in the story at some point God just decides that he's done and then all people's technology stops. Yeah. And then they have to figure out a world without God. But hang on. No, no, no. I'll put on a kettle and we can think about this. I think about our next step and then you go, dear God, please fill the kettle up with water and then put it on the, oh, Jesus.

Yeah. Well, that's, I mean, are you, are you basing that on what happens every single time the power goes out? Like that's what happens to me when the power goes out at home. I'm like, oh fuck, I can't use the kettle. Oh it's alright, I'll just microwave some more. I apologize, I have a child calling out my name again, sorry. No, no that's okay. I'll be back. Maybe Alistair is God. A child is calling out his name? I mean what we are describing

with Godpunk is basically the experience of being a parent where children act as though they are incapable of doing almost anything by themselves and as parents, if they complain and beg us enough, then we will do those things for them. It's almost too perfect. Maybe that's what the whole thing is a metaphor for. Maybe the day ends in this sketch with us praying to God to tell us a bedtime story or something like that so that we can go to bed. I don't know if people can still walk around I think they probably can I think people still have to be able to walk around move about by themselves but when they like get to a door or they climb into a car or whatever they then have to pray so that the machine will operate.

I was just saying to the listeners, Alastair, that I've realized that what we're describing is basically what it's like to be a child of a parent, that they act so much of the time, like they can't do anything for themselves and they have to beg and plead with their parents to do those things for them. Yeah.

Like they act like they can't drive. But they can. They're so good at acting. Yes. Because then they'll really commit to the bit and drive the tree into a trunk of... They'll drive the car into the trunk of a tree. It's a great idea, a tree that you could drive into the... A tree you can drive, run it straight down. We've already come up with that I think.

Oh we had self-driving trees. Self-driving trees. Yeah we had a tree that could drive itself but I mean you could see, you could see how the environmentalists maybe would would promote this because it's a tree. How can I be destroying trees when we're growing them specifically for driving? That's a good idea. I mean, would it be safe that-

By the way, I'm picturing that huge tree in your backyard. Oh yes. But I mean, it feels like you probably would, like, you know, if you're driving it around a branchy, like, you know, if you're driving it around branchy, leafy end first, that would probably be great for crashing into things. Like all of those branches

would be like the crumple zones, right? It's a really good crumple zone. We should be driving trees. Should be driving trees. But then people, then the conservatives would be like, well, they're just way too heavy. That's actually, they're using up way more energy. And then, and then us were going, us, that's us.

We're going, yeah, but they're trees. Mm, and you love them. And then, well, yeah, that's what we're doing. We, we love those. We, we're environmentalists. And so how could a tree be bad? But then when there's like a big crash on the highway, they're like, there was a forest fire on the highway today. One of the worst things for the environment.

Oh, it's true. Multi trunk pile up. one of the worst things for the environment. Ah, that's true. Multi-tronk pile-up. Look, it's not a great idea, but... No, look, Alistair, don't say that. Don't say that. But before we got onto it... You're right. Before we started saying that, it felt like there was something else there. What was it?

Oh, there was the kid thing. I thought the... The kid thing, but no, that, yeah, you're right. That was just an analogy. Maybe it was before that or after that. Climbing, crashing a tree. You just said crashing a tree into a car, which was just a funny idea. Just a funny idea.

Oh, my. Do you like fun, Andy? I love fun, Alastair. I love fun. Love to have it. What's a game that you've played recently? Here's a question for the marketers listening. Want to find that perfect customer beyond the world of scrolling, swiping, and searching? Here's a secret to make sparks fly. Smooth talking with podcast ads. With Acast, you can reach millions of listeners who'll be hanging on your every word.

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Head to go.acast.com slash closer to get started. Go.acast.com slash closer to get started. What game have you played recently? Well, I mean, the game that I played the most often is probably No More Flips, which you might have seen me playing this with my children. It's a game called No More Flicks. No More Flicks? Flips, flips.

And what it is is, you know, when you, you know, you hold your child's hands And they sort of run up your body, and they do a backflip. Yeah, right So the game is that they do that right but before their feet touch the ground. I have to say a bizarre phrase like okay uh, uh, water slide banana party, no more flips. That's what I have to say. Right. So I say a bizarre phrase, a bizarre three word phrase, um, uh, Santa Claus flavored semi colons, no more flips. And then I say no more flips. Right. And that's, that's the game. Um, and it's the game. Yeah.

And it's good it forces me to be creative coming up with it's almost a bit like if an Alistair lists everything kind of bite-sized portions. But it's a way. But sized portions. But size portions I believe we have already come up with the butlodes restaurant. Yeah. Where they can. It's not about how the buttloads restaurant. Yeah. Where they can...

It's not about how much fits in your stomach. No. It's about how much fits in your butt. You got to think long term. Yes. They use ultrasound, etc. to precisely map out the contours. The topography. The topography.

Of the anal cavity. Mmhmm mm-hmm I imagine you know it's a bit like whenever they refer to something as being like that a certain number of Darling harbors worth of water I don't know I don't know if there are different what they do in different countries but over here in Australia we have a harbour in this beautiful city of Sydney called Darling Harbour and whenever we're talking about how much water has fallen in a flood or when they're building a new dam or something like that happens we're talking about we talk about it in multiples of Darling Harbour so I wonder I don't know what they use in different countries

So I wonder, I don't know what they use in different countries, how they do it. Do they all use Darling Harbour? I'd like to think so. I think they use Darling Harbour. Darling Harbour. Darling. It sounds really stupid now that we say it over and over again, doesn't it? Darling. I'm not saying it that many times, but I mean you're the one who's making it sound stupid by saying it again and stop saying it again and again you're making our harbour sound stupid Alastair that's our beloved harbour the more you say it the worse it gets it's very disrespectful is there a job that somebody could have where they just, they say something in a stupid

voice over and over again and they make it lose all meaning? Like you know like, for example. Oh that's a good idea. China. Like could it be part of our soft power diplomatic war with China? But to increase tensions with China? Yeah. Just go outside the embassy and we get some guy we pay some guy to go China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China China That's losing all meaning! Stop that! Shauna, Shauna, stop! And they come out and they go, excuse me, you're causing the...

It's very disrespectful to remove all meaning from the word that is the name of our country. The name of our great nation. That's an idea. That's an idea. I mean, it's... I mean, you know what it's like that we've talked about this before, the military. They love to militarise. They love to take a concept and deploy it in the field of war. And I mean, what could be more powerful than...

Not a bullet has to be fired. And you've already destroyed the very concept of the country that you're in a diplomatic showdown with. Nobody's able to reach it with their minds, even think about it anymore because they've just heard it so much. The whole concept just dissolved. They figure out how many times you have to say the name the word on on the news

Or like, you know in order to remove it. It's a full-on You know The news is integrated with the intelligence services and they just have a discussion and they say China 72 times. Yes, and Then the brain can no longer even hold the concept of China in their mind anymore. Yes. When they hear the word. I think that's really good. I mean maybe we could we could just have speakers everywhere in our country or you know as many countries as we can gain influence over that are constantly blaring the word China over and over again all the time.

Yeah. And, uh, in a way it would, um, I guess it would be like fish in water, um, where they would have no, they have no concept of water. I assume. The taste of your tongue. Like the taste of your tongue. I assume. The taste of your tongue. The taste of your tongue.

You know, you can't even conceive of China anymore because it's just, it's like your body creates a natural anti- like... Resistance. Like a white noise. Yes. Yeah, like a white noise destruction. Oh, I'm so sorry. Cancellation thing. No, no, that's okay, Alastair. like a white noise, yeah like a white noise destruction. Cancellation thing. No, no, that's okay Alastair.

Oh, what I'm interested in. I gotta do this podcast for now. You wanna just say hello? You wanna just say hello, but then you gotta go. Wanna say hello? Hello! Oh God, Hux. You wanna just say, no, you gotta say it quietly, quietly.

Hello. That's very good. Thank you. Hey, you wanted to say it one more time. Hi. Okay, see you darling. My goodness. Do you need more Cheerios? Are you okay?

I'm okay. Okay, see you later. I gotta finish this podcast. I'm sorry, darling That was such a delightful interaction. I wasn't called a poopoo bum bum or whatever. I usually get called Yeah, I mean that is Hmm, it's not it's not even towards you that that is a it's become a very common Saying even in our family

Any question that you don't want to answer, you just answer poopoo bum bum. But Alistair, how can we refine, how can we truly taste what a tongue tastes like? We might have talked about this before, but if I did want to taste my own tongue, right? Yeah. What would I have to do? I feel like I would probably have to take a sample, scrape a sample of tongue coating, right? And then put that to one side, almost like a sperm sample that you're freezing

in a sperm bank before you go to some kind of, to get chemotherapy or something, right? And then I would need to have some kind of like acid wash done on my tongue that just like steam cleans it down, strips it back and momentarily before it's restored its natural flavors, I retrieve and defrost my tongue sample and then eat that, consume that,

and get a true taste of my tongue. I think- Do you like to think that there's a, they put the chunk of tongue in a sort of like a big like cognac glass and you like swirl it around and you try to get the nose and you really try to get some air in there. This is my piece of meat just like tumbling around a big bulb. I wasn't even necessarily taking a chunk of the meat of the tongue I was just

scraping the surface of it because when I think we talk about tasting your tongue, that's really what we're talking about. We're talking about tasting what it would be like to kiss yourself. That's what we wanna know. Do you think? Sure, sure, sure, sure. But yeah, I mean, but I think,

but you wanna, I don't know, you wanna be, like sometimes you can have a bad taste in your mouth and you can taste that and you don't want it to be like, you don't wanna accidentally scrape off another taste. No, but I feel like you almost need to cut off half your tongue and just place it on top of your tongue. That's interesting.

Yeah. And taste it like that. Not the blood on the inside. That's not what I'm talking about. No. I'm talking about the blood. We're not interested in that. That's meat. That's not tongue.

You know, the taste of the tongue is just the external, yes, surface flavoring of the tongue itself. And I think you are right, that you probably need to slice off a bit of the tongue. And I completely I think you are right that you probably need to slice off a bit of the time and you I completely accept what you said and and sorry sorry I know okay yeah you go Hux you go you go to the toilet sorry I was trying to like mime so that he wouldn't I didn't have to talk to him and then he said that he did go to circle to the toilet then he comes back and he goes,

"'No, don't do this.' And then he starts mime. He's like, don't do this where you don't talk. Does it feel extra good to send your beloved children away when the thing that we're talking about is like, is this, is this tongue tasting fucking bullshit idea? There's nobody else, there's nobody else here. Is this tongue tasting fucking bullshit idea? There's nobody else here. And so I have to put them on a screen

and then it's like the screen just isn't entertaining enough or he's like, come and sit with me. Yeah. Yeah. It feels good to send my kids away when it both destroys the quality of the podcast and the quality of my relationship with my children. Yes. It feels good, Andy.

I think good is a great description of what it's like. But Andy, another way that I think that this is what I want to, another way that I think you did it, baby. This is what I want. Another way that I think you did it baby Sorry Did it baby Another way you could so science is trying to find a way to get you to be able to taste your own tongue Is I think that you would Again slice off a chunk of tongue.

Think it's gonna be a big, you know, it's gonna be like a segment, maybe a segment around the back that you don't use as much. Maybe one of those bits on the side that you sometimes bite with your molars. Yes. That's a really fucked up thing that you, it kinda happens almost like you don't feel it

as much while it's happening, but then later on you can feel the effects. Yeah, that's another one. Especially if you're eating a lot of ice. Might prove that we're not in a simulation because there's no way they would simulate that shit. That they put in the possibility for you to bite your own tongue.

They wouldn't build that into a simulation. I know exactly. And yeah, they wouldn't, I think a simulation wouldn't make a mouth that is out of, that is made out of meat. Correct. You know what's a good idea? The beak. We should have beaks. A beak. Yeah, I mean, I would just take beak cheek, you know, just an inner, an inner exoskeleton. Oh, they should come up with a word for that. Yeah, an inner exoskeleton, because it's a little bit, it's on the outside

because it's like the mouth is kind of openable. It's a semi, it's a semi outside area. Okay. I imagine at night, mine is- Alfresco, we'll call it an alfresco It's an alfresco. It's a sunroom. Hmm a Dab sunroom and So the way that you do it again slice off a little bit of tongue and then you

Create a like neuro link kind of connection with somebody else's brain. Oh, right. Yeah. And where you get to experience their sensations and then you give them the tongue. I feel like you could probably taste someone else's tongue. But why, why, if you're doing this, why do you need to slice off the tongue? Can't you just kiss them? I think that the kissing would distract from the tasting. Well, all right.

It's a new kind of kissing. It's a new kind of kissing. It's a 69 kiss, okay? So you're inverted. And there's nothing sexual or erotic about it. I don't think 69 Kiss is new on the To Another Thing Tank podcast. You lay the tongue just flat and bland bland one tongue on top of the other,

you know? Like... Well, I understand that, Andy, but I think the act, you are still... Then you would be tasting two tongues at once. I fear, this is what I fear, is that you would be tasting their tongue and then tasting your tongue while... Well, well, well, but then, I mean, if you've got the Neuralink technology to allow me to experience your sensations, okay, then surely it's not too much of a stretch. And maybe not, maybe the world building that you've done, you know, defies this as a possibility to also switch off my own tongue's ability to briefly taste other

things so that I'm not getting some sort of superposition of these two tongue flavors. I think mine's even more realistic, to be honest, in our fantasy, I could feel your feelings scenario. Yeah. Do you see what I'm saying? Yeah, and I mean, I guess that if this is a thing science really wants to do, is figure out how to taste, there might be, they might want more data than just one data point.

So maybe this is actually really good to get two tongue-tasting data points. So they feel your sensation, you feel theirs. And then let's say one is standing up and the other person is kind of craned in upside down. Yes, Spider-Man style. Spider-Man style. But not sexy. Not sexy in any way.

Not sexy at all, scientifically. Spider-Man style. You know what this is? This is a great thing for friends. Spider-man style but not sexy not sexy not sexy at all Scientifically this is spider-man. You know what this is. This is a great thing for friends to do You know for friends to do for friends not Romantically involved or even interested in any way But just mates who want to help mates to taste their own tongues and And it'll be, I think it'll be a lovely thing. So this would be like a thing like axe throwing or something like that that you go do, you know, over a couple of beers and

nachos and stuff like that. Yes, great. Oh, do you want to go to this new place? It's called Tongues. Oh, what are you doing? It's called tongue, so you get to taste your own tongue. It's really good. It's really good. You'd go along and you'd do this elaborate thing. And then there's this big scandal where it comes out that actually the technology they were claiming to use to allow you to taste, to sense the other person's senses and allow you to taste their tongue. It was bullshit. There was no, there was no technology.

There was no Neuralink thing. That was just you tasting. You were just tasting their tongue. And it turns out that all those mates who were going out having a great time tasting their own tongues, they were just putting their tongues on each other's tongues. There was nothing. It was just, I just, yeah, I can't believe that's what my tongue tastes like.

You know, it's like, it's almost like the, uh, like that, you know, when people get their, their genetic testing back from the, from the thing, and they're like, wow, I'm 3%, you know, sub Saharan African and things like that. And you go, I, my feeling is that this is probably not where it should be yet. Yes. You know, the tech is probably not as accurate as we think. But this was just a scam. Everybody's just allowing themselves to 100% believe it.

Like I can believe when it's like they find out that, you know, like we can find out whether or not somebody is your brother or whatever like that. Yeah, sure. But I can imagine that there's probably complexities in, you know, regions and, and race and stuff like that, that they're probably, you know, brushing over a little bit. And it's all meaningless anyway. Exactly. Bullshit. Anyway, tongues. That's a great thing for guys to do.

Tongues. Yeah. I mean, I think we almost got two, we got two sketch ideas out of that. And you know what would be great is that, you know, if it is the thing for guys and mates to do, that they'll be able to use that same kind of like industrial style architecture, you know, interior design where they got a lot of bits of pipe, you know, that all screw together kind of like scaffolding that they love to put into these places anyway. But now that's just for you to sort of hang from by the back, you're

by your bent knees as you place your tongue flat on top of your friend's tongue. But it works in it works in with the aesthetic aesthetic. It's so manly in many ways. It's like you're using, you probably have to use like a digger to lift people up. Oh great. A block and tackle. A block and tackle. Is that the name of a brand? No, no that's just another word for like a pulley and a rope or chain that you could use to hoist somebody. It's tremendous how many words you know. Thank you. You know both block and tackle. Yeah that's two words. But you know to put them together. Andy what would you say if we went to three words from a listener? I'd say, now is the time.

Let's do it. Now is the time. Well Andy, do you think you would have it in you to guess who the listener is today? And I want you to know it's not who you think. Oh, okay. Is it Adriana Genualde? I'm Adriana Genualde disappointed in you, Andy. Yeah. Yeah.

No, it's not. It's Jim Little. Jim Little. Jim, Jim Little. Hi, Jim Little. Hi, Jim Little. Now, Andy, Jim Little has sent in three words today from a listener And like you do anything with the name Jim little you could be anything you could be anybody you could be a hero

You could be a villain now probably just yeah, but like you know could be an impressionist all doors are open for you. Yeah sure And and it's such a humble name as well. You know, like as in, you would often have the, experience people underestimating you, you know? Maybe, maybe. You know, you're not here, you're not a Jim Large. You know, you're not people like Jim Huge or something like that where people are like,

oh, here comes the big fella like that, you know, and they go, oh, expect big things from this guy, big Jim Huge, you know? And, can't wait, some calls have started. While I'm gone, I want you to start guessing three words and then you tell me what they are. Okay, I'm gonna guess all three words. Okay. The first word is...

Oh, what's that monkey? Reesus? Reesus? Reesus monkey? The first word is Reesus. And the second word is... Macaque. and the second word is macaque and the third word oh no I've given myself nowhere to go no no it's fine okay so these are my words right rhesus is in the monkey m of monkey and then medax. Macaque medax. Reese's Macaque medax. Is a medac a monkey as well? No, no, it's just referring to my dax, my pants. Cacking my dax.

Okay, well let me just check the words. The first word, Andy, you went with Reese's. I say, do you think that the peanut butter cups were named after the monkey? Yeah, I'm pretty sure. I mean the Reese's peanut butter cup does imply the existence of the McCann peanut butter cup. Yes, and the Madame peanut butter cup. No, the first word is, of course, We've got God is the first word. Oh, okay. I mean it should be all our first words every day. Of course. And it was probably one of our first sketch ideas today.

Well, let's see if the second word is Bicac. Okay, the second word is only. God only. Okay. Second word is only God only Okay, and then the third word is Nose Nose God only knows I Feels like this summarizes pretty much the entire episode Hmm if it only was God only tongue

If it only was God only tongue. God only tongue what I tongue without you. Yeah I mean it would be good if it was God we find out that there's been a mistranslation in the Bible and it's not that God sees everything it's that he smells everything. He can't actually see very much at all, but he smells all your farts, I guess. And so culture, society thinks that they have to hold in all of their farts. I think. And toilets and toilets have become a sort of like Firstly, they're negatively pressured Well, maybe and yes, okay

But maybe they have to create some kind of metal through which God can't smell Some kind of place where God can't smell like it's like all maybe in a church God can't smell like it's like all maybe in a church God can't smell in there or reverse church. Well I was gonna say I mean does the toilet almost become like a confessional and there has to be a priest in there while you shit to forgive you. And the pipe goes straight to hell. I, that would be interesting. What if we did actually discover a little, a hole to hell? And I mean, I guess if it's already the worst place imaginable, it's like a black hole, right? You can just chuck stuff into it.

You could shit into hell and it wouldn't make it worse right like we could pump all of our sewerage directly into hell and it would have if it's already the worst place possible it couldn't have any negative impact on hell it's the one environment that you actually can't destroy that's quite exciting Somewhere to like put all our pollution and shit I mean you'd probably destroy earth by getting rid of all those nutrients that is the downside but that But like it's not something I mean what a great place to sequester carbon, you know, like we and and it destroying earth that's never stopped us before Alastair And I think this could be big this could be exciting could be big. Yeah, I do like that

Knowing our luck by opening a when we open up the little door to hell we think oh We're gonna be able to sequester all our carbon in there But probably all the heat from hell will start coming out and just warming the planet anyway. And it'll be another one of those ones where we're actually going backwards. Fuck! Well, people will be like, shut the door to hell!

You're letting the hot air in! There was this thing I was thinking about the other day about like, if you ever think of yourself as a spirit, right? Sure. You don't picture most of your senses there. You don't think that you'll be able to touch things. You probably don't think you'll be able to smell things.

You don't think you'd be able to, you probably think you could hear things and you probably think you could see things. Yeah, that's weird, isn't it? You can, some of the ones that feel, somehow feel more physical. But you must be able to touch things as well because you can push things around as a spirit.

I mean, are we talking about also a ghost? Or are we talking, is there, are you drawing an artificial distinction perhaps? So yeah, I guess I am talking about ghosts. I'm talking about spirits Hux Hux is back. You know Alistair should we just end the podcast? Yeah, we should just end the podcast. I think okay. That's a great idea. Do you want Huxley to Is he reading now? Can he read out the sketch ideas to us? No, he's not reading Oh, he's not reading. Oh dear. I'm sorry to hear that

Oh, he's not reading. Oh, he's not reading. Oh dear, I'm sorry to hear that. Oh dear. I think that was just, it was just one of your kids that was like spectacularly ahead of his time. Remember when you're, when one of your younger kids was like. I could just read now. Yeah, I can just read

because somebody left reading eggs open. And I just did it and I lapped some other kids. Yeah it's kind of crazy. Can you quickly take us through the sketch ideas and if Huxley wants to be involved that's great. Well he's just left the room briefly so. ACAST presents the oral tradition, Homer's Odyssey. This is just a guy who walks around back in the Odyssey time, back in the oral tradition times, and then adds like intros and adds to his thing. He maybe tries to promote mead during his things and find ways to sell a bit more merch at the end of his thing.

I'll be selling these wristbands, these Armstrong wristbands at the end of the thing. I'll be selling these wristbands, these Armstrong wristbands at the end of the thing. I don't know what that's about, but I love it. That was just one way that people were, you know, sell merch. I think there's a comedian here who sells those kind of, you know, remember those Lance Armstrong wristbands that were the Liv wristbands?, rubber kind of things. They were yellow and they were raising money for cancer or something like that.

And it became like a product that people would sell, because it costs so little to make them and you could sell them for five bucks in the name of charity or whatever. You could write some swear word on it or something like that. Oh, cool. Then then we had we had inadequate god, you know, um a church where you meet to give him a hard time. Yeah. Church of makes a lot more sense. You complain to

him. Yeah. Then we have god punk where god does everything and you have to pray to make things happen. Then we got it. We got a tree you can drive. Then we have a guy who is paid to say words over and over to remove their meaning. Then we have science tries to find a way to taste your own tongue. You can cut chunk or neurolink. In a couple minutes, okay?

I'll be right there. You go, you go get. You're going slow, I know. Then we go science tries to find a way to tell you we are said that then we got tongues the place where you can Get to taste your own tongue. This is like an axe throwing pub, but you and friends can taste each other's tongue No, not each other's tongues your own tongue But then it turns out you are actually just you're just tasting each other's tongue Then we got God smells everything. Toilet confessional with priest.

Pumped straight to hell. I think that's the part I like the most is that you're in the confessional with the priest. Now we're gonna go into the music and then Hux is gonna say goodbye, okay, at the end? Okay. No, not yet, not yet, not yet. Okay. Boom, tch, Bye bye. See you everybody. Bye bye.

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