Two In The Think Tank - 428 - "SURFING THE HINTERNET"

Episode Date: June 10, 2024

Bus Stop! Grand Unified Road Rule of Everything, The Expendables for Rom Coms, Rupert Murdoch Dating Community, Magic Rock Internet, The Hinternet, Love PranksThere's never been a better time to order Gustav & Henri from Andy and Pete's very own online shop.Check out Stupid Old Studios' COMEDY LAB here and support the artist fund if you can.You can support the pod by chipping in to our patreon here (thank you!)Join the other TITTT scholars on the TITTT discord server hereHey, why not listen to Al's meditation/comedy podcast ShusherDon't forget TITTT Merch is now available on Red Bubble. Head over here and grab yourselves some material objectsYou can find us on twitter at @twointankAndy Matthews: @stupidoldandyAlasdair Tremblay-Birchall: @alasdairtb and instaAnd you can find us on the Facebook right here Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Wendy's small frosty is the ultimate summer refreshment and not because it's cool and creamy and made with fresh Canadian Dairy it's also refreshingly cheap just 99 cents until July 14th. It's a treat for you and your wallet So you can do it you can do, all you gotta do is just stick to it. You can do it, I believe in you. Hello and welcome to Do It The Think Tech. The show where we come up with five sketch ideas. I'm Andy. And I am Alistair.

And that's the song we sing every week. George William Chalmurry Burchall. We want to sing that song every week now. And I'm Andy. Have I said that already? I think so. Man. It's great to be back here in the think tank. In the two in the think tank.

Yes. Yes. Imagine if we found out that the tank was actually called two in the think tank and it's actually the two of us in the two in the think tank. Wow. And that's got nothing to do with the number of us that two in the think tank. Wow and that's got nothing to do with the number of us that are in the think tank has got nothing to do with the name of the podcast. What a reveal that would be. Yeah. There's actually

been a there's actually been a reveal like that here in Canada. Okay because because you know stop signs? Yeah. Right? Well, in French, they're arrêt signs, right? Which means that they are not arrêt signs. They're not like, this is an order to stop. This is, this is a stop. Oh my god! Right? Whoa! Yeah, okay.

So it's just... it's a noun, not a verb. Yeah. Yeah, it's not an order. It's a... I guess it's a, it's sort of like a suggestion through implying. It's like, this is a stop. You know what to do. Oh, and I guess that makes sense with like a bus stop, right?

We never think that the bus stops, little side on the side of her saying, bus stop! Yeah. Stop bus, stop bus! Yeah. Please! Bus stop! They didn't have those signs there. They wouldn't know to stop.

Yeah, it's... It's not a plea, it's not a... It's not... Give way! But then I guess the give way ones... No, it's a give way. No, I don't think so. No, Alastair. You know, there's the highway, and then there's the give way.

Sure. And then there's the giveaway. It's where you give another person their chance to go. Their chance to take away. That's amazing. Is there a sketch idea in that? Oh, I want it there to be, Andy. So, I mean, I think that bus stop almost makes it there, but I mean, full sketch. I mean, it's a humorous thing to talk about. Are they octagonal over there?

Is the shape of the stop sign, is that a universal? Does that transcend or do they have a different shape? In this part of the universe. What if they want a different word? Do they have a different shape for stop? I think it's the same. In this part of the universe, They have a different shape for stop. I think it's the same in this part of the universe it is universal so far but I haven't been to like a you know a freaking like you know I've never been to equatorial Guinea and I don't know what shape. Have you been to any of the Guineas? Let's see not not Papua New, I haven't been to the original Guinea, old Guinea.

I think that Papua New Guinea is also on the equator. That's my feeling. Yeah. I think equatorial Guinea was, um, I always thought equatorial Guinea was way higher, but I thought it was up near the, you know, like, you know, the bump, the left bump on Africa, just under the bump, like in the under boob area, maybe.

The armpit. Yeah, in the pit, the African armpit. Not one of those cobalt ones. What I want to know is, are the stop signs octagonal on other planets? We might discover, it could actually be a universal constant. Like, you know, we think that gravity has the same gravitational constant everywhere in the universe. We think that the laws of mathematics are the same everywhere in the universe. We think that the laws of mathematics are the same everywhere in the universe. Imagine if we discovered that stop signs are octagonal everywhere in the universe. It doesn't matter where

you go, if there are stop signs they're the same shape. I think I think that's very interesting. I guess there could be a guy who works in the in the road rules department who is doing research to try to figure it out. He finds one. I mean we know the laws of the universe everywhere. We know the road laws of the universe everywhere. That's what it would be. That's what he would have to be determining.

You know, yes we know well I mean in a way the speed of light is a universal speed limit that is a speed limit that exists through he's just trying to find a unified theory of all of everything's road rules of everything road rules. Do you want to have another run at that? Yes. A unified theory of everything road rules. Sorry I put that all in there that made a little bit too much sense. I was like oh this sentence is sentence is going to end well. Hang on. Let me change from all to everything. I mean, it would be fascinating if we discovered that all road rules are just different manifestations

of the same fundamental road rule. Maybe they are. Yeah, the same fundamental road. Well, yeah, I guess it's, is it all just a continuation of the shape of space? Some kind of thing like that. I mean, it'd be crazy though. I mean, I think it would be hard to say that if you could just, it would be nice

if the world had like one road that went all the way around earth and met up on the other side, all the way around earth. Yeah. Like as a sort of world project to bring us together. Oh yeah. Sure. Where would you put it? Would you put it on the equator?

That's a bit hot. Yeah, no you're right. And also if you're gonna go all the way around the earth, it's probably the longest one you could do, pop it at one of the poles. And then the earth can get that project done, that project that we all work together on. Get it done, get the endorphins from finishing it feel good although it would be nice to have one that goes over the poles because I think a lot of people don't get to see those you know and then we could all be your ice road truckers exactly but maybe we could put it up a bit higher so that maybe we're above the ice, you know?

Oh, elevated? I don't know, could be. I guess it has to be elevated over the ocean. Do you think how close together would they put the icy signs, you know, the icy road signs when you're driving across the North Pole how frequently would they remind you mm-hmm road maybe icy slippery wet icy I guess if you're if there's no roads out you know if there's no places to you know to pull over I don't know if they'll be like a petrol station with like a you

know a McDonald's or whatever like that and then one of those healthy places There you know like that one that We have an Australia where they they try to do a thing of fries, but they do green beans steamed green beans instead I Don't know what that is. I mean there would be an all the roads near your place. It's like all of us or something like that. Oh It's like Olivers or something like that. Oh, Olivers. I did see an Olivers. It closed down recently. There's one up near Ballarat.

I've never been in there. Is that what they do? Yeah, because it's like they're in the same place as like McDonald's and KFC. And then they do like, they're like, yeah, it's great. It's healthy food done fast or whatever like that. And then they have that same kind of like paper cup of for fries, but they have like steamed

green beans. And you go, oh man, you just can't compete with fries. Once that oil hits my nose. I was thinking about, bus stop! The first bite is with the nose. Yes And that and that you I wonder if there was a way you could do a reverse speed movie Okay, you know because it's called slow I

Mean, what's the opposite of speed Andy? Is it slow cuz slow is just a speed I'd say yes true. You could call the movie speed slow opposite of speed Andy. Is it slow? Because slow is just a speed. And in fact you could call the movie speed slow. Relative to other things. Because that's what they want to go. But also, I mean you're right that the movie speed, the name speed doesn't itself contain information about the size, the magnitude of that speed. It could actually be a low speed to which they are referring and indeed relative to many of the speeds that objects travel at in the universe, 50 miles per hour is a low speed indeed.

Yeah, so maybe it's about an old lady in a walker and she can't go like she can't stop it But she can't go above I mean wait before I remember one now that I thought of it's like a bus and it can't It actually can't have any speed right unless it and it'll blow up but then But then there's some guy who's like, you know works there and he's sick that his shift hasn't started and he kind of just sees it parked over there and he walks past the sort of like the FBI agents that are all talking to each other or whatever like that and he starts going out to it and you know, he almost he gets in the bus and he puts in the key and he starts it up.

He almost starts the bus. Yeah. And then they just, they have to stop. And it's cause it's like a really, really efficient, uh, public transport city. Yes. And, and all the public servants keep, keep trying because at the moment there's like a disruption in the public transport and they keep trying to fix it using their their their self motivation and I presume there's also nobody on the bus there's nobody on the bus except really all that Keanu Reeves is trying to do is to stop to keep shooting bus drivers. They descend like a horde of zombies

onto this stationary bus. Yeah and then he, but, and as he's got like all the bodies of the bus drivers building up, you can see in the distance all these people lining up and going into the building that says bus driver school. And others coming. Trying to get out of it. Yeah, and you can see others coming out with diplomas and they're throwing their hats in the air. And they're going into the building

and getting their uniforms and then coming out uniform. Keys in hand for this one bus. And it's like the end of that that it's like the end of that zombie movie where they're like Somebody's shooting or maybe it's in the one Where jet Li is just on the top of a pyramid of just other people that look just like him and he's kicking their ass and Having to fight the million iterations infinite iterations of himself. I should go back and watch that movie. Yeah. I wonder if it'd stand up. Yeah I feel like Jet Li's had like the opposite of a Renaissance. It's like it's almost like we've forgotten the great work that Jet Li has done.

I'd forgotten about Jet Li entirely until you brought him up just now. has done. I'd forgotten about Jet Li entirely until you brought him up just now. I almost never think about Jet Li. But he has appeared in one of those movies where they bring back old action stars. What was those? Right, like Red? Or what's the other one? Old Fs? Something like that, it's called something like that. Yeah, it was... Un... the unsummingables. Oh yeah, yeah, the un... not killables, un... maybe it was unkillables. No. That doesn't sound right. No.

The un... Unstoppable? I'll try and look at... yeah, Van Damme. I don't think... don't need to look it up. No, you're right, I apologise don't need to look it up. No, you're right. I apologize. I won't look it up anymore. I'm not looking at it right now.

I can't even find, I thought Van Damme would have done it, but no, conversations to, it was the expendables. Expendables. The unspendables. I can't believe you remembered that. I know. I know. Well, I just thought it was so inappropriate to think so.

I decided to use my brain and I did a little search in my brain. Um, what about like a movie for old dance stars? Or, you know, or old romantic comedy people who don't get films like that anymore and they team up and there's somebody, cause you know like every romantic comedy, at first they don't like each other. Yes. Right? Romantic comedy they at first they don't like each other Yes, right, but this film has somebody who is so

unlikable yes, that they need a Crack squad of retired romantic comedy actors to somebody like somebody needs to fall in love with this person and you know they put they might not have to recruit actual like old actions like old women like they in the film and the world of the film they're not maybe getting old maybe they are maybe they are but believe in yourself Alastair

yeah I know I'm trying to find what but like they need people to do Yeah, okay. Let's just say old romantic because I think because of that trope that they don't like each other. These people must be able to Like people who are unlikeable And find the beauty within them, you know, it's sort of like and find the beauty within them. You know, it's sort of like, sort of like the opposite of, you know, you're John Wicks or something like that,

or somebody who's a hit man, whose job it is to go and, you know, kill these people who are very difficult to kill, right? What about those who are very difficult to love? What if it's, yes, as you say, a crack squad of lovers, of people who are very good at falling in love and they have to go and they have to, they have to fall in love with this person. Yeah. The opposite of killing.

And it might be, yeah, it might be, you know, it might not be that they're like initial, you know, cause I think like that they're initially like, oh, I wanna love you. Like they too have, you know, like boundaries that need to be penetrated, you know, like they, but at some point they can have a very big, dramatic twist in their feelings for people, you know, if they spend a bit of time with them, they can see the humanity,

they can see the good things within them. They can cut through the icy exterior. Yes. To the soft... They have to walk into each other. They have to walk into that person with holding an even bigger pile of books. At an even greater speed. Yes, even greater speed at an even more adult education location.

Yes. This this crack squad of people who fall in love with people who are unlovable. I wonder if that's been what's been happening to Rupert Murdoch again and again, time and time again. They keep coming for him. This crack squad of of um romantics, old-fashioned romantics who believe that they can change him. I it's crazy isn't it? It's crazy. He married for the fifth time, was it? I know. And like, but also he's had like two failed attempts in the last year or so. Yes. The most insane thing. So it's not even like he's like he's on the dating scene.

He's actively out there looking. Yeah. He doesn't lay down and go. Yeah, he doesn't lay down and go because they even like the last time when he was like When there was an interview because he was about to get married and then she had a bunch it turned out She had a bunch of really crazy views And then it was called off and I don't know if that's the reason why it was called off I don't think he you know, he he's like

you know he he's like oh wait she has a bunch of crazy views yeah you know he's I don't think he's not marrying people because they're getting canceled or something but he in I think an interview he was like I hope this is for the last time you know like like almost like he was like fed up with all this nonsense. Well there's so much pressure everyone wants him to have a fairy tale story you know we're all rooting for the pressure from the public who are all very invested in Rupert Murdoch's love life. It's like Jennifer Aniston you know those are the big two imagine if oh imagine the big two imagine if oh imagine Jen and Rupert and Rupert I mean they could finally make it work if they could make it happen you know maybe and Brad gives her away oh god that'd be so nice that'd be a redeeming moment for him as well because he's obviously a very bad person. It seems to

be the case yes and so. But then he marries Angelina Jolie again. What about this a copy of New Idea gives her away. Oh that is a new idea that would be really good. The first woman to be given away by the concept of a magazine. The concept of a magazine that, like a celebrity rumours magazine. That, I mean, you know, you can already make so much money by selling your photos of your wedding to, to magazines. Think how much you could get by letting the magazine itself take some of the major roles in the bridal party. Yes, that she's going up and down, like she's going down the aisle with

one of the paparazzi photographers who's just arm and arm with her but also holding a camera right in her face. Right in her face and taking photographs, yes. And then when she goes to kiss the groom, Robert Murdoch, they instead have a specially built camera with a, the lens is a sort of a flexible silicone lens that she is able to stick her tongue into and passionately kiss and then we get the photos inside. Oh, yes, our Jen. Oh, Jen. I mean the whole, it's just a series of cameras in a silicone body that she can do with what she will. Is it a silicone replica of Rupert Murdoch? Filled with cameras? Filled with thousands of cameras? Ironically, for a publication that he doesn't own! One of the few publications. Not part of the Murdoch Empire as far as I'm aware.

Well since he stepped down he doesn't give a shit as much. And he's probably old, he's probably not going to be that into the lovemaking aspect. He's just in it for the romance. He's not going to be all that interesting. The physical, the base physical things that happen on, on wedding nights. So he'd probably be quite happy to sit in a corner having a blood transfusion or whatever he needs to keep him alive at this point. While Jennifer at the silicone replica of Ruben passionately. I mean, I would love if he is... On a circular bed.

While it's happening he's just making grumpy comments because he just wants to get into bed. Alright. This is the second most shameful day of my life. This is me trying to take that quote. Oh, because he was in the, when he had to face that inquiry for maybe the news of the world stuff, I think he said, this is the most shameful moment of my life or something like that. Oh that second impersonation was really getting somewhere I think that's great. Oh yeah nobody's doing Rupert Murdoch. You know a lot about Rupert Murdoch you know all these quotes you know how to do an

impersonation of him. I could I could probably draw from from memory what his belly looked like in that you know him with Jerry Hall coming out of the ocean. Oh, it's Jerry Hall. I thought it was Daryl Hannah. It's Jerry Hall. She, in many ways, she is the Daryl Hannah of the older generation. Of the Rupert Murdoch. Ah, yeah. Of the Rupert Murdoch marrying community. I mean, it is a community now.

It is a community. It is, it's a thriving community. There's probably more people. It's one of our fastest growing communities. There's more people that have married Rupert Murdoch that speak some ancient languages. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. What, Prime Minister, what is your government going to do for the people who have married Rupert Murdoch community? I married Rupert Murdoch and I vote. We're going to turn that into a bumper sticker. It's like oh you know the Rupert Murdoch marrying community are unsure who

they're gonna vote for and so they're getting a lot of pork barreling. Apparently their resort is gonna get or their country club is going to get a pool. Oh lovely. Their community centre. A new pool. A new shooting range. Olympic sized swimming shooting range. Because they don't have any other types of pools other than swimming ones, at least in

sport. Oh, this would be a good idea. Target running, right? Yes. It's running, but the objective is not to run fast or necessarily far, but to run to a certain point. Oh. To get to the right spot.

But you have to run and your nose has to hit a certain point. I thought like you have to run and your nose has to hit a certain point. Oh that's lovely. You know? Yeah that's great. And so like sometimes it's high, sometimes it's low, but also sometimes you're being like you've got like you're in a pack of people and you gotta be the person who not only gets there first but gets there in the most accurate way. You know? Yeah, accuracy is under, under valued.

They could do it with a hologram. In the art. You know, like if they had a hologram that was like, you know, near some kind of finish line, you know, like, and I imagine there's multiple checkpoints. So you're all running. And then let's say you're running in a pack, then you've got to like get your body in the right height

and you kind of run a bit more like apish, like let's say if you're going down or whatever, like that, and you've got to run through that point and try to get your nose like on the little red spot that is like a little red. Yeah, mid-air, like that. And then you got to keep going. Offering you midair. Yeah, midair like that. And then you got to keep going. And so you're accumulating essentially

probably dart rules points. It's running, but it's dart rules. The word to dart does mean to run quickly, doesn't it? So that's actually perfect. Maybe we'll negotiate with the darts community. See if we can have the word, we can take back the word darts, back for running, thank you.

Yes, that's right. They've taken it and misused it for so long. It's disgusting what they've done to that word, that beautiful word. That beautiful word. That our word. They've used some kind of phallic object. It's just horrible. You know you used to be able to say I'll just dart down to the shops but now

people think you're throwing an object at a shopkeeper. Now Alastair you're gonna love this. Yes. An alert has just popped up on my computer screen to say that my disk is almost full. Oh yes. You saw that we got an email from a listener. Correspondence. You know and then he was telling you exactly how to just find all the big files on your thing. Yeah and fix this problem once and for all and yet you know what I think it is Alastair. What is it Andy? I've actually got heaps of space on my hard drive but I fucking, I did something where I somehow partitioned it

and now I can't get access to it. Can't get access to all the vast untapped reserves. You partitioned it. I partitioned my hard drive and I don't know how I did it. I was when I was, I'd done something insane to my computer and then I was reinstalling the operating system. Is it when you put, you like did a backup

or something like that and then it's in that weird Apple format. Look, I think that might be a time machine or something. Time machine, yes. And then I, but now I've got, I'm actually operating only in a very small, you know how we only use 10% of our brains? I think it's that.

I'm only using 10% of my hard drive. I think there's something along those lines. And I can't even get to whatever that is that lies beyond the whole north of the board. You can probably just delete it in some way, but then you're like, what am I preserving? Oh yeah, I'm scared. I know, well I recently,

I should probably just reformat the whole thing and start again. Yeah, as I was leaving country, I had to like go through all old hard drives in Indiana, had a bunch of old Macs and having to get into them and find a way to penetrate those files, to get old photos and stuff like that. It was a nightmare.

Precious memories. I did find something. Did you succeed? I think so. I think I used I might have used HFS Explorer that allows you to get into all sorts of image files essentially. But Andy does that mean that we have to like wrap up the podcast? No no no no I mean like I mean it feels like you know we're just sort of playing chicken with the capacity of my hard drive. Is there something about the world losing all

its digital files? A sketch in which we've lost all soft copies. And actually- Yeah, we go back to hard drives. I mean, it would be interesting, wouldn't it? But about how everybody's actually, it's like there was initial sadness, but actually turns out that everything that we've done up until this point was not important. Like like as in like, you know, everything that we've done since the beginning of the

computing age, we actually don't need to do any of that. I really think you're probably right. I mean, that's, yeah, it sounds great. Like we don't like, like, like we don't need to go to space. We don't need to be flying around. We don't need automatic cars. We don't need, you know, like to keep all our DNA on file, we don't need email. Hang on, wait. I was with you until you said that thing about us keeping all our DNA on file. You know what I mean? Like all those like 23andMe, those kind of things where people have vast amounts of,

we don't need cancer research. Now you're talking sense. Yeah, we don't need podcasts. We don't need the internet, social media. the internet, social media, I guess anything that we didn't... It is funny that there is just the internet and it's not just a internet. There should be several other internets. You should be able to choose and maybe there are, maybe China has its own internet. Does China have its own internet? I think so. I think maybe China and Russia and then there's the dark web you know I think and then there's probably lots of like you know intranets but I guess that's not an internet isn't it? That's an intranet. But I think you know if you can get to those internets from our from the

current internet I'm that I'm not interested because that sounds to me like they're all still part of the same internet I want a completely separate internet. I want an internet and you go to access it a really different way Yes Yeah, I know this is right it doesn't even use electricity like it like an internet that you find you can only get on rocks I don't know. I don't know how this would work. This feels like this is actually the magic internet. You know, like, you know, oh well, we've discovered that there actually is a wizard and he's started his own internet. And you just need a little summoning circle in your house. You just got to buy a little magic rock.

One of his magic rocks. And you can access it. And then people are on there. And it's actually, what's great about it is actually the internet is fun again. It's you know, everybody's just making jokes and trying to connect on chat rooms and discussion forums. I mean, I love it so much. I mean, but everything looks very magic-y, right?

It's all very magic-y. Oh, very magic-y. Discussion forums are like a room full of ghostly faces and that kind of thing. Yeah, it's like a big chamber and it's with tiered seating and you are in the sort of like in the battle pit and you look up at all the people that are there to discuss things. Every person who's in their own thing,

that's if you put of course the rock up to your eyes and then you can use it as a sort of VR. Now when you say the rock, you mean the tablet, the rock, the rock that you bought from the wizard, the magic rock. Oh, the one we were talking about. That makes sense. I just, Alastair got distracted because I was thinking about a word I just invented in my head.

And you know how like sometimes words will go viral, new words and they might be like, make the word of the year in the Macquarie dictionary or something like that. Well, I think this one's got a strong contender. Are you ready for it? I'm ready. The hinter net. Like hinter land.

Yeah, right. But not like the internet where you get a hint. No, no, no. It's big in the puzzle community. The brain teaser community have the hint in it. Where they give each other tips on how they could help. Yeah, I mean that would be good, wouldn't it? like you know like when you when you want to look up something you know like Wikipedia like you did earlier when you were looking up the Expendables right? Remember that. You know you want to know the answer to a question sometimes you don't want to know the answer the question sometimes you just want a hint

you should be able there should be a whole separate internet called the internet where you could you won't you won't accidentally have it ruined for you exactly there are no spoilers there are just little hints maybe that's what spoilers are a hints I'm not sure but you want to know that expendables you On the internet, there's a hintipedia, and you type in film, Jet Li, old people, right? And then there's a bunch of little things that you can review. People have posted on there.

It is like Wikipedia. People can put things on, but they don't have the full information in them either. They're like, ah, I think it starts with an E. And you're like, yes, yes. And you can, so you've looked up that hint, and then you bring that to your discussion at your table. Ah, the internet says it starts with an E.

And then you can guess it. I think this is great. I think it starts with an E. And then you can guess it. I think this is great. I think it'll be really nice. It's a safe place for puzzlers. Mmm. Finally. Finally. For the puzzling community. There is a guy, oh I won't do his joke. I was about to do some comedian's joke from Canada.

But it feels weird to then do it on a podcast. And he's like oh this is the stand-up act that he uses. You can tell me off-pod though. I'll tell you off-pod. And then I'll say it on the podcast. Andy, we have five sketch ideas which means that we can go to three words from a listener. Right we might even finish this podcast before the entire file corrupts and one of the key tricks explodes. I mean there's a part of me that thinks that we should try. Andy, do you want to try and guess which listener it's from? Leandra Willmott? Let's have a look. Now Andy, why off? It is from Sev.

Sev! Hey Sev! Hi Sev. How you doing? Welcome to the three word community. I think Sev may have done that before. I'm not sure. Sev is a Discord regular, I believe. Member of the Discord.

Oh, there's a meltdown occurring just outside the door of the room, if you can hear that. And now, Sev has sent in three words from a listener. I believe the listener is Sev. Yes. And so would you like to try to guess? Can you hear that? OK, the first word is... no, I can't hear. OK. Rancid. Rancid. Ooh, started with the same letter. But unfortunately, the first word is row row R-O-W. Row. Okay the second word is

versus. Oh no the second word is sham S-H-A-M. Row sham. Is the last word bow? B-o-w? The last word, Andy, is bow. What is that? What is Ro-sham-bow? What does that mean? Where's that from? Ro-sham-bow? Is that in a movie? It sounds so familiar to me and so I looked it up and it's a short word used for rock paper scissors to mean yeah. Ro sham bo. Well the row comes from rock obviously. I mean I don't think I ever knew it. The sham must be short for scissors. Yeah. Ro-sham-bo. Ah, well, Ro-sham-bo for my fake friends. You wanna play Ro-sham-bo? Yeah. And Ro- I'm- I said this to my kid the other day, because I was saying to Odie, I was like, I got shampoo, right? Shampoo for my real friends. Real poo.

And real poo for my sham friends. And then, which might be, it might be a Tim Murphy joke. Not Tim Murphy, Tim. Tim King? No, Tim in Melbourne, Tim Clark joke. Tim Clark, yeah. And then Odie changed it to be like, wait.

So wait. changed it to be like wait so wait it was I think it was real so wait shampoo for my real friends real sham for my poo friends yeah that's great. Sham weddings for my real friends. Sham weddings. We can't just play in this world the whole time. But I mean the word sham is in the suggestion. So the idea that you would have a fake sham wedding. You know, Oh, are you really getting married then if it's a fake sham wedding?

Um, or well, I think I guess that would be that you're, you're pretending to have a sham wedding. So everybody comes thinking to have a sham wedding. So everybody comes thinking it's a sham wedding and then maybe... And a sham wedding is one where like somebody wants to just get a citizenship or something like that. Yeah. Yeah. Doing it for non romantic reasons. Yeah, right. I guess, oh yeah, without intending to create a real marital relationship.

Sounds like you might have looked it up on the internet. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, that cat? I don't know, I don't know. I think about it all the time. And so everybody comes thinking it's a big joke wedding. You know, like the one that Zoe Coombs-Marr did with Reese Nicholson to sort of highlight the injustice. Imagine if they revealed that they were actually... I think sometimes they kind of have been joking around that it was a real marriage. I think sometimes they kind of they kind of have been joking around

that it was a real marriage I think they were keeping that big going. Well I'm not interested if they're joking around. Yeah. Okay. I want them to be seriousing around. Yeah to find out that they were really they were like actually were really in love with each other. It's like if like Steve-O married Johnny Knoxville in a sham wedding, like you know, and everybody laughs, it's like a big prank for... That's a great idea. That's a sketch idea Alastair yeah you know it's a it's a prank show the guys get married as a prank but then like four or five six years later they're still together they're still going to events together still kissing in public telling everyone it's a prank yeah and everybody and it

keeps popping up and getting depicted in the prank show, you know, in the subsequent jackass movies or whatever. Oh, look, this prank is still going on where they're still living together and stuff and everybody's laughing and all their mates are laughing and they're like, yeah. But they're making each other really happy. Yeah. Are they making each other really happy.

Yeah. Are they making each other really happy as a prank? We're making each other genuinely happy as a prank. As a joke. Ironically. We gotta stay together. Imagine if I made you, imagine how funny it would be if I made you really happy.

This is gonna be great. This is gonna be great for the movie. It's gonna be... yeah. I think that's a sketch idea. Yeah that's written down Andy. We're already in. I mean I've already written up the scripts some of it yeah while you're just coming up with ideas Andy I'm actually producing them and sending them off to producers I just want to say that my version of the internet is it refers to lost web pages that people don't visit anymore because everything's being consumed by the you know the big four websites that everyone spends all their time on or whatever yeah that's what that's that's what it's about. And that's what's going to get into the Macquarie Dictionary, not this fucking stupid one where

you go and look up hints. It's just some kind of a joke to you, Alastair. I'm trying to come up with a real concept. And it's going to be such a good sketch. Thank you, Alastair. Right, we should end this podcast so that I could save this file before it crashes. Let's sing a song. Oh wait, you got to read them all out.

Quick, quick, read them all out. Read them all out. We've got Bus Stop. That's the reverse, it could be the reverse speed movie where bus drivers keep trying to come and start a bus and if it moves it'll blow up. We've got the unified theory of everything road rules. We have the expendables for romantic comedy stars. A crack squad of lovers. Trying to love somebody who's unlovable. We've got the Rupert Murdoch marrying community. We have the Magic Rock internet slash second

internet. We have the internet where there's no solutions. We have the Prank show where guys marry each other pretending. It's a prank, but they actually love each other Thanks so much for doing this we love love you. Bye. Thank you. Bye bye.