Two In The Think Tank - 431 - "FINANCIAL HORSE BIRTHDAY"

Episode Date: June 30, 2024

Jealous of Atoms, Blackhole Burial, Poppin' Particles, All You Can Dizzy, Communal Baby Pool, Business Ant Farm Suit, Financial Version of Days, New Culture For Climate.There's never been a better time to order Gustav & Henri from Andy and Pete's very own online shop.Check out Stupid Old Studios' COMEDY LAB here and support the artist fund if you can.You can support the pod by chipping in to our patreon here (thank you!)Join the other TITTT scholars on the TITTT discord server hereHey, why not listen to Al's meditation/comedy podcast ShusherDon't forget TITTT Merch is now available on Red Bubble. Head over here and grab yourselves some material objectsYou can find us on twitter at @twointankAndy Matthews: @stupidoldandyAlasdair Tremblay-Birchall: @alasdairtb and instaAnd you can find us on the Facebook right here Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

From your ghost lent the most the Academy Award nominated director of Poor Things and the favorite comes kinds of kindness a dark Lee hilarious and unpredictable film that critics are calling mind-bendingly brilliant Featuring an all-star cast led by Emma Stone Jesse Plemons and Willem Dafoe Kinds of kindness is a wild ride that will leave audiences discussing the experience long after it's over Don't miss kinds of kindness now playing in select theaters The life it's just a stage that we're going through Life It's just this thing that we've got to do

Hello and welcome I started saying two in the think tank, that didn't work hello and welcome to two in the think tank the show where we come up with five sketch ideas sketch ideas I'm Andy and I'm Alastair George William Trombley Bertoll oh my goodness do you think it I actually I just just as I was singing it then yeah I was singing it then, I was actually slightly comforted by the phrase life. It's just a phase that we're going through. And thinking that, you know, that it is, it really is that just these atoms, these immortal atoms come together for a while and think,

you know what, I'm going to be Andy for a bit. See how that suits me. And then afterwards they'll think. They're so lucky to be you, Andy. But you know, you know, wasn't that long ago? These immoral, it's fucking crazy that atoms just exist forever. Like, you know, you think about things things like bugs they're small and their lives are short and dangerous and yet atoms even smaller somehow. Yeah. Indestructible. You know what Andy I'm not really a jealous guy but I don't like this idea that the atoms just move on and become something else. Yes, that's a great idea.

There should be a service. Actually, I think those people who get their bodies fired into space, probably, maybe there's a little bit of that element to it. Like if you can get your body shot off, you know, to float forever through the infinite blackness, it's not going to turn into a worm that turns into a bird and before you know it, your atoms are off gallivanting as some young French woman. That's right.

I don't like that idea. I don't like that, you know, suddenly all my my atoms are together with other atoms and they're called Milan and and they smoke and I go that's not that's not good for us you know but he's like suddenly suddenly my atoms are part of a sort of a radio tower somewhere in Brazil, you know. So this is a service that you offer. Yes. After people die and you offer to destroy the atoms

in the person's body so that they can't become somebody else. Or put them in some impenetrable barrier, you know, so that they can't be penetrated. Could they be destroyed in a in a nuclear explosion a small nuclear explosion I think I see what my problem with that is that that energy is then gonna go and be sort of absorbed by other things yeah but Andy you know if I if I become immaterial I want my atoms to become immaterial you know's true. You know what I mean?

All right. Sure. I'll let you take it with you into the realm of immateriality. Although, but I think when you become immaterial, see, when you blow up those atoms, they're equals MC squared, right? They're going to become energy. But I think when you die, you don't become energy. You become less, if anything, less energy.

Once again, it feels like the atoms are getting sort of this special treatment. I know, but the thing about me, Andy, is that I find it ridiculous to be upset that the energy that was once part of my body is now part of other things. I think that that's a step too far. But all I want- You're a reasonable man.

I'm a reasonable man, exactly. But I just don't wanna even think about the thought. I want, if anything, want my brain put into a nuclear explosion right now so that I don't even have to think these terrible things. The possibility that my atoms could be in another thing. Ah, well I like personally, I like the idea of firing the body into space, picking a really like low density region of the sky so that you know you can you know maybe even sort of you know like you're really zoom in you

plot a course that you can go for you know billions and billions of years before colliding with anything else I mean the universe is mostly empty so well they also do say that that you know in a black hole information isn't destroyed now I don't really know what they mean by that but mmm but maybe in But, yeah. Well, they also do say that in a black hole, information isn't destroyed. Now, I don't really know what they mean by that, but maybe in order to sort of give yourself a chance of being revived, you should have your body launched towards a black hole where your body will then

get spaghettified or whatever and go in there, but then all that information will be stored. You know, if you just wander. Yes, in the surface. You know, in a one spot where maybe somebody, you know, who's upset, maybe their planet was also sucked in or whatever like that, will eventually come back

and bring everything back. And then either my limp body or maybe my living body. Or maybe your limp living body. Oh, you know, just because your body is living doesn't mean it's not limp. That's true. I am pretty limp right now. I'm on a chair. My head is hanging over the back like a baby who can't support his neck, his own head. My arms are flopping by my sides, but my penis is erect.

My penis is a rock hard. That's the only sign of life in me right now. Well, look, I love all of this, Alastair. This is all good stuff. I mean, I do like that the information is there in the black hole, just waiting for someone to come along and read it. like that the information is there and this in the in the black hole just waiting for someone to come along and read it somebody with the right sort of dongle that allows them to plug into the US the black hole and download all the

data I picture it's like it's like an external CD drive I but it looks a bit more like a Dyson sphere. It's just for reading black holes. Yes, of course. That's probably adjustable in terms of size. I've been thinking so much stuff about life and the nature of the universe and stuff recently, coming up with so many sort of vaguely comforting illusions based on nothing at all. You know, I was thinking recently about, you know, I've really been getting into infinity recently and been thinking about the, like,

that the universe probably is infinite, right? And that our existence is inevitable, but it exists in this sort of smeared out like just a section of infinity and that there will be, because our existence is also infinitely unlikely, that means that there will be, because our existence is also infinitely unlikely that means that there will be an infinite distance between us and the next species, the next conscious species. So it's out there but it's infinitely far away as

we are infinitely far from everything else. And I've just been sort of dwelling on this kind of stuff a lot. You've entered your your quote era and you're just looking for nice you know quotes of people saying things and then you go I'm gonna post that on my wall. That's not the case at all. I'm not I'm not just reading about them I'm not no none of that I'm just dwelling on it I'm just imagining it I'm not reading about them. I'm not, no, none of that. I'm just dwelling on it. I'm just imagining it. I'm just sort of, you're creating your own mind.

You go, Oh, we're not a, uh, uh, a physical being having a spiritual experience. We are ice infinite being having an infinite experience. Hi. Correct. infinite being having an infinite experience high correct correct high high I tried to I tried to go George at the end there mmm and you did great oh that's the little stem on the apple of wisdom. Yeah. You know? The Georgian wisdom.

Alastair. Yes, Andy. Alastair. Is there? I'm sorry that I dragged us into this darkness. No, no, no, but I mean, I think that there's a place that you can go where we could find a sketch idea in this. Well, what I was thinking is that it would be great

to be able to go to the surface of a black hole and dig into it Right. Yeah. Somehow. Have a hole in a black hole. Yes, and then lower your body into that and be buried Ceremonially on the surface of a black hole now. I know burial to death based burial sketches up front. Back to back. All right, I won't talk about it anymore, Alastair. I, no, I'm a creature of light,

so I don't need to dwell in this dark business. It's a fun idea, Andy, to get thrown into a black hole, to preserve your information, but of, to get thrown into a black hole to preserve your information, but of course all the information in a black hole is encoded within the surface. And so then to come along and then dig up that surface a little bit, fuck up all the info.

Fuck it right up. Yes, I does really feel like you can't imagine scooping a black hole. I know it's not possible, but you know. Buting a black hole. I know it's not possible. But, but, but all the people who have said that it's not possible are very weak. Yes. They probably don't lift. Look, Stephen Hawking, I know you couldn't dig the surface of a black hole, but maybe

I could. I wonder if all these theories were sort of about what he would be able to do. Nothing could escape from a black hole. Yeah, was he just saying... Oh well, Stephen. Yes, because he was thinking would my electric wheelchair be able to pull a shovel along? Exactly. You know, maybe he was like I couldn't be able to get the sort of the right motion. Mm-hmm.

Well, I don't see. He wasn't clear. I'm built different, you see, Stephen. So did you factor that into your little equation, the fact that I'm built different? I wonder if he did. Speaking of very small bugs, allosteria and atoms, it does feel like there could be a possibility that if we could isolate a single atom and squeeze it, that some juice or something might come out. We might find that actually there is some kind of...

Juice theory. might come out we might find that actually there is some kind of juice there's not nothing inside the atom but there is actually some sort of like a pus or sort of you know like when you squeeze a fly and that yellow stuff comes out which I don't like at all but yeah I mean I've never I don't think I've seen juice come out of a bug or like out of a fly for a long, long time. I think these days I hit them. I hit them so lightly. I just want to hit them so that they lose consciousness. And then I put a pillow over them.

Yes. And I say, go to sleep, go to sleep. Stop struggling. Stop struggling like that. I try to make it as painless as possible. I've been having to kill mice recently. Oh, wait. That's fun. Yeah, sure.

The first time was in a big, was in a bucket with a can on it with some peanut butter on the top and it rotates. And not the peanut butter doesn't rotate, but the can does. peanut butter on the top and it rotates. And not the peanut butter doesn't rotate, but the can does. And they kind of- They haven't invented a new rotating peanut butter that I haven't heard about. It's like a fancy rotating restaurant,

but it's just the peanut butter that rotates. Oh, God. The restaurant doesn't rotate, but all the food does. I can do this really cool thing where they put iron in the food and then they have a really intense magnetic field going around, rotating magnet going around the outside of the restaurant. So the food is constantly moving, are you running to keep up with it? Yeah, it's going across the room. You've got to follow your dish.

Follow your dish. I mean, I do like the idea of people who want a revolving restaurant experience, but they, you know, they can't afford to go to an actual revolving restaurant you know all the overheads paying for the big mechanism and all that kind of thing so just once a night there's a once a week there's a regular restaurant but they have a special revolving night where everybody Holds the table with one hand and sort of just walks around I'm sitting on an office chair and a guy comes and spins you Yeah, well that would be pretty good too. Imagine the waiter puts your plate down and then he

Goes behind you and he just kind of spins you for like 30 seconds And then he just walks away while you want the dizziness wears off. I mean I do like the idea of a restaurant where you eat dizzy. I think that would be exciting. The food tastes slightly different do you think? I think it would be funny to watch a lot of really dizzy people try and eat because I know from my experience that trying to do almost anything while you're dizzy is funny. I guess it'd be funner if you were having to eat it like if they were hors d'oeuvres gotten from the plate in a waiter's hand.

Yes, that is good. So it's like everybody, everybody spins as fast as they can and then then all these waiters come out with hors d'oeuvres and all the people have to... Someone, someone should make this TV show. This would be incredible. It's like, um, it's like, it's like supermarket sweep, right? You can eat for free. You can eat anything as much, or you can eat as much as you want, but you've got to be so dizzy. This would be the greatest television event of all time, Alistair. You get people, you, because we did this thing when I, as an, like a, an initiation type thing when I

went to university, right, one of the clubs, it was like put your head on this barrel or whatever and you spin around in a circle, I don't know, like fucking 30 times and then it's literally just all you've got to do is walk like five meters in that direction over there and just No one can do it. Everybody's just walking off to the left just falling and stumbling Just like there's no physical way that you can walk in that direction But this would be incredible get everybody super dizzy, then you open up the doors of like this fucking, like, you know, Harvey Norman or whatever and people can go in, they can take as much electronic

goods as they want, right? This two minute period. And they just, it would, I mean, it would be incredible. They pick up big screen TVs and then fall to the ground. Yeah, yeah exactly. It's like Black Friday but it's Dizzy Sunday. Well I'd written it down as all you can dizzy eat but I'll... No, all you can dizzy eat, that's great. I mean you can also be all you can... I think the food is gonna be funny and water drinking shopping. Yeah

Sorry, there was just a family Thank you, Huxley No, it wasn't an emergency. I think the emergency was that the door doesn't entirely shut because my shirt was On the top and I think all it was was the kid was trying to open the door so that he could close it again properly. Wow. I mean that sounds... Very reasonable Andy. We've been very reasonable children out here. Have you noticed though, do you think that there has been some sort of a genuine change? Has there been a maturing? I think that those have been a

maturing that follows the natural progress of time. Do you think there is an element in which you've taken your family to this foreign land and have you been forced to pull together against the elements, you know, like you've been shipwrecked on an island or something and all your superficial differences that I would say your family is riven with. I've always noticed that you are a man, your beloved is a woman, and you're an adult and yet your children are children. That's true. And I've always thought it's interesting, they don't seem to have a lot in common in that family. I've always said this. Yeah, mostly just on this kind of superficial genetic way. It doesn't seem like a good reason to actually

like choose to raise those kids. Why not choose to raise ones that have the same interest as you? Yes. Like finding a beloved. We should, when you give birth, you should put all the kids into a big pool. Everybody should. It's a really good idea. And we should pick out the ones that are probably more, you know, that show, you know, like, I guess you could put out stuff like the, like how they choose the Dalai Lama. Put out stuff that's like your interests. I guess for me, I'd put out a notebook

and maybe some, you know, a copy, you know, maybe a small iPad that shows a clip of the Moth joke or something like that by Norm MacDonald or maybe a bit of JB Smoove, you know? And if they like JB Smoove, if they like JB Smoove sort of just for laughs set from about 2009 where he talks about how he likes,

he doesn't like white people's asses as he brings out his own stool. I know he doesn't trust white people's asses, I think. You know, if there's a baby that's naturally attracted to that, then I would raise that child. Yes. Okay. Yeah, I mean, that is great.

My alternative was gonna be you put all the babies in a big room and then all the parents get really dizzy outside and then 20 seconds and they can have as many babies as they want to grab as many babies as they can. Oh yeah that's amazing oh yeah or you're in a tube and they put then they start blowing that air like one of those like, you know, inside skydiving kind of. Right. So all the babies are floating around.

And you're floating around. And grab in 30 seconds. Yeah. Yeah. No, I mean, these are all great ideas, I think. And again, you know, yes, they're a bit weird, you know, they're out there on a limb, some of these ideas. They're not something that you would try in the first, second or even the 50th millennium

of human existence. But humans have been around for hundreds of thousands of years. And you're telling me we can't do this babies in a skydiving, you know, redistribution of the young type thing. We can't do that once in 200,000 years. Because we can't be so arrogant as to think that we know the best way that things can need to be done. Exactly.

It should be done. We have to try more things. You've got to try more things. Otherwise, what are you doing? You're just, it's just another type of conservatism. You're stagnating. Exactly. You know, if you're not swimming, you're drowning. You know, if you're not swimming, you're drowning.

You know, if you're not moving forward. That is definitely true for all the babies in the pool. Yes, that's another one we're trying. Put them all in the pool. All right, it's an actual swimming pool. There's something about my children. They just do not seem to float in the same way as all the other kids

at swimming classes. Yeah I mean. My kids they kick hard, they are kicking hard but because they do not float they just kick to the bottom of the pool, they just accelerate the drowning process, They swim down. It's actually dangerous to teach them anything more about swimming. Well, exactly. They use those skills to get deeper underwater, to get their lungs... To hurry to the bottom. Further away from the oxygen source.

It's true. The better at swimming they get, the faster they drown. I've got to see if I can... Because you can't teach... I don't think you can teach a kid to float. I think that's just a fact of physics, right? Oh my God. It's amazing. Buoyancy.

We're just talking fundamental buoyancy. Do they go into the water and before they need to do anything, they remove their feet from the ground. Do they empty out all the air in their lungs? Yeah, of course. Of course, that's what I told them. Because it's that weird thing that you do, isn't it, when you float in water where you don't even realize, you don't even pay attention that you're kind of like filling your lungs sort of with air and then you're kind of just going,

like just kind of breathing near the top there. You're not like when you're floating and sort of treading water, you're never like breathing super deeply. You just kind of like. Mm, really exhaling and yeah, I'd never thought about that. I wonder if that's an instinct thing or yeah, what is that?

Cause you are funny. I had never thought that you are just sort of a version of like an air sack floating along on the surface of the water now that's cool and you can make yourself sink can't you just sort of by just emptying your lungs oh yeah that's one of my favorite things to do is I just completely empty out my lungs and then go sit on the bottom. Yeah. I'm a real sit on the bottom weirdo. It is one of the weirdo-est things you can do in the pool, public pool, you know what I mean? Oh sure. Oh there's that guy sitting on the bottom. Fuck it. Just move your arms like a normal person But that is what you like to do I sit down and then I stand up and I try to walk

you know, I actually walk on the ball but The fluid doesn't allow it you then you got to like use your hands like a like, you know, like fins or whatever What do you think of this idea? I love it? Would we do this as a work of art? It's sort of a reverse diving helmet, right? So it's sort of just a goldfish bowl full of water that goes over your head, okay? So your head is completely in the water, but then you have a little snorkel. So your little snorkel can go up and you can still breathe from above the surface of the water.

But you have this- From within the thing or from the little air bubble at the top of the, or does it go outside? It goes outside, it goes outside so that you can breathe from the outside. But it's sealed around your neck and your head is in water at all times but you are still able to breathe the air and then I put it to you

that you then sort of do dress yourself in a business suit or whatever attire you wear for your day and you go about your business right but you you could have a fish in there that'd be great a little fish swimming around your head touching your arm and then you go and you sure all right and then you go you walk around now do you have goggles on or do you have your eyes open underwater I think you've got to have your eyes open underwater for this to truly be art and then that's right but you have a supermarket and but you have it so that I have seen a guy Kirk Fox had a joke about how he says he

can't wear glasses but he he's never worn glasses but if he goes underwater and he opens his eyes it's really clear so he thinks that his prescription is ocean. Yeah, well something like that. I mean there would be some sort of the curved, I imagine the curved nature of the glass and the ball of water that you're in would have some sort of prescriptive type effect. Maybe a good one, maybe a bad one, who's to say. Maybe you would finally see things as they truly are. And so then, is there a climax to where this guy is going with this idea? I said it was art. Would you look at a painting on a wall

and say, when does this painting climax? Which is the bit that I should oo-ah at. When's this painting going? Yeah. Yeah, you know what, Andy, this is gonna be annoying, but within the last couple of days, I saw photos of a man, and I had seen them before. Doing exactly this?

Doing exactly that. Wow. Like, on land. Let me just see if I can see. You know, what would be hard about this is- Literally like fishbowl head. Yeah, okay. Because it's kind of terrifying.

Oh yeah, there you go. If you type in just fishbowl head, but it also says Aquaman wears fishbowl. It's actually quite terrifying what he looks like because his head is amplified in size and he does have fish. This is crazy. You say you've seen this in the last couple of days.

In the last couple of days. I'm getting a lot of sort of like AI looking images here. Yeah, but there's one from The Telegraph. Mmm, fishbowl head. If you write, yeah, I wrote fishbowl head man to find it, but if you type in Aquaman goldfish inside that is also written underneath the phone. Oh, this is great. This is exactly as good as I had hoped it would be. Oh, that's fucking terrific. I'm so glad this guy's done this. Oh, he looks terrible It's fucking spooky

Yes, it's his head looks enormous. Yeah, he even looks a little bit like mega mind He does. Oh, what a great I can't believe I yeah. Well, this is 3rd November 2022 This is on the telegraph. But, um, look, you know what? He looks a bit like Chris Kennett. Um, this is, uh... I don't think that that's a... Andy, I don't think that's a kind thing that you've said. I'm not... I mean, not not not in his distorted state. I just imagine that the man underneath. Yeah, I guess I guess also

it's just I don't think being in water makes your skin look the nicest. So no, it's not flattering, is it? Just just to be kind. I am going to say that it doesn't look like Chris Canett just so that we have a.

From your ghost Lentimos, the Academy Award nominated director doesn't look like Chris Kennedy. Just so that we have a... Emma Stone, Jesse Plemons and Willem Dafoe. Kinds of Kindness is a wild ride that will leave audiences discussing the experience long after it's over. Don't miss Kinds of Kindness now playing in select theaters. A sort of devil's advocate here. I'm gonna say. Even- Sure, a voice of reason. It doesn't look anything like Chris Cannon. And it's, I say it looks like somebody who could have been the leader of Russia at one point.

Yeah, no, I agree with that, obviously. But then I also think that about Chris. No, all right. But that's great. So you're saying we can't write that down as an idea because you saw it a couple of days ago. We really can't write that down as an idea because you saw it a couple of days ago. We really can't. I mean, it's, it's, he's done exactly what I was imagining.

Even though you came up with it independently. I mean, maybe if you put a little twist on it, tiny little twist. Let's see. What if it was an ant farm instead of a fishbowl? Yes. Ants are crawling all over his face. The equivalent of somebody burying most of you, putting honey on your face and putting you near an ant farm,

an ant nest, that's but your full body is in an ant farm. And people can watch your face get attacked and eaten by ants. But can you still walk around in a business suit? It's just like a Jacuzzi suit from the Simpsons Radioactive Man episode. But it's full of ants and sand and stuff like that. Oh, I'll tell you what though, it's heavy. But when you come out of it, apart from being very deteriorated by the ants eating you at all times,

it's like you've been training at high altitude. But even, you know, it's like you've been training on Jupiter. And so you're actually very physically strong but yeah I can imagine but in a lot of pain but that yeah I mean that'd be up so they'd be but everything's you know it's positive and negatives to every experience. That's right and this guy is convinced that this is the best way to you know to because he's like achieve dominance in business. That's right because you you're used to you're used to enduring a certain amount of pain and so once the

ants are no longer biting you, you know, in the constant way that they were bringing you down to the queen, chunks of you to the queen. Do you think that there's a risk of Stockholm Syndrome and you would fall in love with the ants? And especially the queen. And you know, you're out of your, especially the Queen, well she's got that beautiful distended abdomen. Mmm. You, do humans have an abdomen?

I always thought that that's what abdominals were about. It's gotta be, it's gotta be what abdominals are about. So that must be our sort of our centre stomach type area is our abdomen. Yeah. Okay. Great. Well, thank you for answering my question. But I see this is what I worry is that you would have stock-owned syndrome with these ants and you go, you know, you've left, you're no longer wearing the ant suit. You're incredibly strong. You've achieved success in business,

which is what this was all about, right? And you're very dominant and powerful in the boardroom. But at the end of the day, if anyone were to watch you closely, you scrape all the sugar cubes from the coffee tray in the, that goes around the office. You surreptitiously scrape them in your pocket and you take them back and give them to your aunt-bride and all your children

because you can't physically impregnate the Queen you can impregnate her with your flesh through your children feast on you yeah with your children bringing her your your food so that she can eat and then make more children and in a way you're a little bit jealous of those those ants that do get to impregnator but they're also your children so. This is an idea, this is a good idea. Andy it's a really good idea. I think man who says that he wears an ant's nest for success in business, an ant nest suit.

Yeah, I think it's a very good idea, Andy. Great. Oh, thank you, Alastair. Yeah. I think it makes every other idea look like a piece of fucking shit. All the other ideas are shitting themselves. They're screaming and wetting their pants. They're getting bitten by our

soldier ants in a dead idea. Um, Alistair, how many sketch ideas have we written down? Oh, you want me to have a look? Well, dare I inquire? One, two, three, four, five, six Andy, six. Oh, but keeping them in the... keep within your head the knowledge that the first two are space burial ideas. Is one of the ideas squeezing a little bit of pus out of an atom. Oh, I haven't actually written that, hang on. Okay, I'll write it. That's okay. All right, I'll write it. Well, write it. Squeezing. An atom. Until a little bit of pus comes out.

Why not take both those halves of an atom and put them like when you split an orange. Put both those halves of an atom or orange over a tiny little spindle, a tiny little juicing thing and press down and see if we can get some juice out of the atom. Be nicer to do it with your hand. Very nice. You think just in the hand there, the atom. An atom in the hand is something that posts in the bush.

Didn't quite try to get to what I was attempting there. Nobody knows this but I woke up very soon before we started the podcast. And I went to sleep very soon after the podcast. Oh Andy, is it the 31st of June at your house? I know it's 30th of June. 30th. Is there a 31st of June? I don't think there is. Oh there isn't. So end of financial year for you. Apparently it's different here. Really? Yeah. What do they do financial year wise over there? Oh they do it with the moon here. Lunar financial year. Oh a financial near moon. Yeah and yeah what they call it.

Thank you Indiana. If there's a financial new year is there's a financial New Year, is there also a financial Christmas? Is there a financial Easter? Does a little rabbit bring any finance? Eggs. Is there a financial King's birthday? Is there a financial day where all horses share the same birthday? Is there a financial regatta day? Financial show day. I think financial where all the horses share a birthday.

I'm not gonna... you think I can't do better than that? Hang on I'll try and think of another one. Is there a financial Christmas in July? Forget it. Yeah, we're all horses. I think financial Christmas in July would have to be in January. Oh yeah. That's my suspicion. Yeah. Yeah. Unless you're from

a different country where new financial years, financial New Year is in a different year, a different time of year. You know what I'd like to see again? I'd like to re-watch that Baker's Dozen sketch that we made when we were in Adelaide. Where every, according to Bakers, every, you know, like a Bakers one is two, and a Bakers two is three, and a Bakers negative one is zero. I feel like I watched that not that long ago. Really? I think it might be on YouTube.

Oh, okay, great, I'll dig it out. Yeah, and I was like, we really went as far as we could with this idea, I think. Because at some point he does give a phone number. And he says, oh, that's bike is eight, bike is three, bike is four. Double bike is one. That's good, but double, would double, would it still be double?

Or would it be a Baker's single? We fucked it. We should have done Baker's single. Single bike is one. Andy, should I go to three words from a listening to you back end? Single bike is one. Um. Andy, should I go to three words from a listening record? Yes, mate. Can you tell that I'm eating a crepe now? Uh, I could tell that there was a sense of urgency in your voice. I was chewing, I was like, I hope Andy talks for a bit longer.

It was good when you're naming different types of days. I was like, oh hope Andy talks for a bit longer. It was good when you're naming different types of dares. I was like, oh yes Andy, keep going. I'm gonna get so much crapey. Oh yes, oh you can come up with one so much better than all the horses are bored on one day. Nom nom nom. Nom nom nom. Stop now Andy, you quitter.

You fucking loser, Andy. That's what I was thinking as I tried to sink my teeth deep into a crepe. Deep. Andy, we have listeners and one of those listeners has supported us on Patreon. And that listener's name is Aiden Cain. Aiden Cain, Aiden Cain. It's all Aiden eyes in that name. Yeah Aiden Cain though like you sound like you're a character played by Tom Cruise in a movie. Aiden Cain you know. And he's holding on to the side of multiple types of

vehicles mm-hmm in an unsafe way I would say there should they've got to be a movie a in the new part two of that mission impossible movie they got to put in a bit where he finds a way to drive a car up the outside of a building and then he's there's a special new drive a car up the outside of a building and then he's There's also maybe it's a special new kind of car that drives up and down skyscrapers And then he could have a vertical car chase. I'd love that. I'd like to see a car driving on top of an airplane that's flying I'd like to see that too Alastair Could be look I would settle for a little june buggy

We've already seen Wing walking, absolutely, but what about Wing driving? Wing driving for a bit and then Fusilade of driving. Yes and then Wing driving again. Well Andy, Aidan Cain has sent in three words from a listener. And I believe that listener was Aiden Kane. And so of those three words, do you think that you would be able to guess the first word? The premiere word. The debut word.

Yes. The premiere word. The debut word. Yes, the opposite of the... ...of the... Nevermind. Yes. Final. I'm gonna say spine is the first word. Spine. Oh, not in any way close.

Shaka. Oh. Okay. Oh, not in any way close. Shaka. Oh, okay. Shaka. Yeah. Um, is it Shaka Khan Academy? Are those the words? No, but that's great. That's great. But it's not Shaka Khan Academy. The second word, rather than Khan Shakshuka. Shakka. Shakshuka. Yeah. Okay and then Shaquille O'Neal. Shak Unfortunately, no. It is Rock Shassa. Okay, yeah, let's do it. Now what is a Shaksusha? And what is a Rock Shasha?

A Shaksuka is a... is that... it's like a... maybe Lebanese or some kind of Middle Eastern breakfast where you cook eggs and like capsicum and stuff like that together in a pan and then you break those eggs you break eggs yeah you have eggs and cooked in it. Do you break the eggs? You break the eggs and then you put them in there. Oh great. And then a rock shaza seems to be a race of usually malevolent beings, prominently featured in Hindu mythology. They reside on earth but possess supernatural powers, which they usually use for evil, such as disrupting Vedic sacrifices and eating humans. But in from the pictures, they look like they have a cat head. I love that. I love that.

I love that. I love all of these words actually. This is true. Gosh, we're a very multicultural podcast. Oh, that's what I love about us. Most multicultural podcast hosted by two white guys. I mean, you're eating crepes, Alastair. That's a culture. That's true, that's true.

Yeah I mean all this time we didn't realize I was really cultural because I come from a very unique subset of French culture. Mmm so cultural. I wonder what the most cultural thing is. Do you think Inuit? Do you think that's the most cultural culture? The Inuits? Yeah, I mean, it's pretty cultural because it's more unique than others, I feels. There's less of a pool of things to compare it to.

Yeah. That is pretty unique. What about people who speak Esperanto? Is that a culture? I mean, that feels more like a choice. You know, I don't know if culture is a choice necessarily, is it? Or is it? Maybe it is.

Because, you know, it's sort of made up. I mean, can you make up a culture? I guess all cultures made up. God, this is interesting. It's? I guess all cultures made up. God. This is interesting It's because you've got to do things like you got to do something don't you? Mmm, you do got to do something. So then yes the choices of what you do play a part in that culture because you're a Lot of the time the reasons why you do things is just because everybody else has done it

Yeah do things is just because everybody else has done it. Yeah. Yep. So some aspects is a choice, some aspects is just like well let's just do this thing because that's what we do. God I wish I had a bit more culture and then I you know I had all these cool things that I'd been raised to do and I didn't even have to think about them or sort of try very hard, but I had so much culture that I'd sort of look more interesting, I think. Yeah, you'd wear more sort of ornate stuff. I mean, I think you already kind of, you know, have a kind of greenish brown look to you

a lot of the time. And you know, you come from, you know, a wooden toy making tradition. Yes. You know, and I think you do. It's what my people do. I think you do kind of look like you do as well. I do, that's true. It's a good observation.

You know, I think if you could make one wooden toy, I think that you could consider yourself cultural I'll give it a go. All right. Sorry Alistair. Let's get back to these words Shuck it now That's the thing with your your fingers right and you put your thumb and your and your little finger out and you sort of wiggle Your hand a bit like that. I've been doing it a lot recently actually I've noticed and I've been really enjoying it. Who are you doing it to mostly? Strangers or...?

Just, yeah, just everybody. Just everybody, it's great. Do you stick your tongue out? And I look good doing it. Oh, I haven't been doing that. Do you think I should? I mean, I think you should at least do it to one person. Maybe somebody you won't see again just in case you don't like it. Right, yeah, I mean that's that's true but I you know, I like it I've been doing a sort of I guess I'm more like a sort of a a

Corporate or like a business shaka one. That's a bit more Acceptable do you do it within the walls of formal occasions? Do you do it within the walls of the Australian Broadcasting Corporation? I've been doing it a lot within the walls the Australian Broadcasting Corporation Oh my god on our tax dollars Yeah, are we not paying you to shock her? Also, I've realized that maybe the cat version of this shockakshasa thing, there's a chance that that's also from Elder Ring or something like that because I think that there's like

a mythical version and then there's like versions from Hindu. I think we're now, another thing says a demon or goblin. Oh no, they also will appear as animals. Okay, great. You know. Okay. Yeah. Or in the case of the female demons as beautiful women sometimes. Can you picture a beautiful woman Andy? Sure can. Sure can. Alright Andy, we have to come up with a good idea. I feel like the culture thing maybe wasn't such a bum steer. I think that you could decide on a new culture that you are creating.

Like that somebody could decide to create a new culture from scratch and they make their family follow it. It's a great idea. Well what would be really good would it be if somebody created a culture, a creative commons culture, right? Something with an open source sort of a dealio so that there was no risk of cultural appropriation. Basically, we could create a bunch of cultures and we upload them all onto some sort of database and people can just download them

and use whatever elements of it that they want and remix it and that sort of thing at will. And we might solve a lot of lot of problems I think if we make the cultures cool enough yeah so it's like a cool a cool culture that saves the planet yes would we have to invent all the cuisines and stuff for this culture as well because I feel like that's gonna be that probably the hardest bit like I feel like the clothes and that sort of thing yeah that's I think that's easy but I think inventing a whole new cuisine probably it's probably gonna be difficult yeah and I

think that it has there's a chance that maybe like the way that this sketch could go either either you could have it so that you do see some of the creation of the thing where it's just a bunch of hippies arguing with each other, or it's the reveal of the thing. But yeah, I mean, I think- I think the reveal would be good. I think the reveal would be good. Yeah. And then, and so then people say, well, if you just start raising your kids with this

culture, they'll, you know, if you just start raising your kids with this culture, they'll, you know, and you just begin from now, we believe that, you know, kids even as old as 14, they will probably forget most of the, their other culture that they've been raised on and then they will raise their kids in this culture. And it's a very easy thing that you can download from like archive.com Or something. Yeah, great No, I'm really excited about this idea. I had an idea for one part of our cuisine It'll be a kind of like a chocolate pasta

Right. It'll be sort of like spaghetti, but it's a dessert spaghetti That we make sort of this chocolate flavored spaghetti and you make a sort of an ice cream sauce that goes over the top of it. Oh I'm really sorry Andy but in the future there's probably not gonna be cocoa beans because of climate change and so we can't actually have that in our idea. Oh do you think so we've got to make a we've got to make a, we've got to make a, it's got to be robust. Yeah, it's got to be future proof. Future proofed, okay, correct.

And you know, you can have that, but only if you go to sort of like a South American mountainous region where they grow the cacao. And so a lot of the meals are gonna be very regional and the foods are not gonna travel many miles, which means it's a lot more work for us writing all the recipes.

Yeah, no, no, you're completely right. And if we're planning to be zero carbon, by 2050, we should also be zero-carbo. So I'll have a completely- I think that maybe Andy you could For your region you could sort of like have like a stinging nettle pasta Yeah, I definitely could yes, Stingy diddle a deadly nightshade that does not seem to be possible to To kill so I'll work on that. Yeah. Yeah, so I don't know, look we haven't made this as fun as it could be. I think if people just go away and they imagine

what the cultural costumes of this new culture are going to look like, I think they'll have a really good time. But I think the idea is that it's kinda lame and that everybody's gonna hate it. But you feel pressured to do it. Everybody's gonna do it for like a year or two. And then bail on it because it kinda sucks. But, and then it'll be one of those things

that you look back on. You remember when we all tried to change our culture so that we could future proof the world from climate change. But. I actually gives me a little bit of hope so I'm gonna yeah, I'm gonna take it on board I think it's quite good. I mean, you know, I feel like they did that in China Yeah, I feel like Mao kind of like invented a new culture a bit to me Yeah, maybe I don't really know much about all that reeducation stuff, but it does seem

You know, but but I also never know whether or not the story that is told about a country is the same thing as what actually happens. Yes, yeah, of course. Like, you know, when you hear about places like North Korea where it's like, oh, people aren't allowed to do anything or they, you know, it's like, I imagine there's also just a regular life that goes on. Yeah. You know, and then that goes on outside of the rules and

there are consequences if you get caught but yeah I don't know it just seems odd. Seems very odd Andy. Oh I agree Alastair yes I think this culture is going to involve a lot of circles that's my I'm picturing a lot of circles anyway I'll leave you with that if there's just something to add in when you're imagining something really funny to make the sketch work later on maybe a lot of pollinating plants by hand every day oh let's go out for our daily pollinating I'm looking forward to that imagine that and then we end up accidentally putting bugs out of work. Well I imagine it's because the bugs are already dead, right?

That's why we're doing it. I mean, I guess if you're future-proofing things then you want to just be prepared for any level of climate collapse. Ah, I see. Yes, of course, of course, of course, of course, of course, of course. Alistair, quickly read out the sketch ideas. All right, we have the dead have their atoms destroyed

with nuclear explosions so that they can't become any other things. We've got getting shot into a black hole and then digging it to bury another dead person. We've got squeeze an atom until a little bit of pus comes out. We have all you can dizzy eat and shop show. We have put all the babies in the pool

and see if you can find one that has the same interests as you. Then we have not teaching your kids to swim because they use it to drown faster. Then man wearing ants as a suit for success in business. And we have a financial version of all of all days, including the day where all horses have the same birthday. Right. And we have creating a new culture to future proof world. And then what I wrote on sequence world from climate change.

Sorry. I don't know what I, how I wrote that on sequence. I don't know. You know, I think it's a mixture of trying to continue talking whilst writing and eat crepes. Yeah. There's a lot of stuff going into and out of your head at the moment, Alastair. Some of it solid, some of it verbal, some of it conceptual.

That's right. I'm entering every state of matter and immaterial is entering in my head at every time. You are double penetrating your head right now. D-H-D-H. Double head, double head. No, D-O-D-O, double oral, double oral. Oh, that's really good. And that was, one was spelled with an O, one was spelled with an A-U. Yeah, yeah, no, I got it.

Oh, you got it? I got it. Yeah. Got, yeah. All right. Pink, pink, pink, pink, pink, pink, pink, pink, pink, pink, pink, pink, pink, pink, pink, pink, pink, pink, pink, pink, pink, pink, pink, pink, pink, pink, pink, pink, pink, pink, pink, pink, pink, pink, pink, pink, pink, pink, pink, pink, pink, pink, pink, pink, pink, pink, pink, pink, pink, pink, pink, pink, pink, pink, pink, pink, pink, pink, pink, pink, pink, pink, pink, pink, pink, pink, pink, pink, pink, pink, pink, pink, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep comes out. Apparently, Andre 3000's in town playing his flute album.

Playing his flute. Oh great, you're gonna go along? Oh, it's a hundred bucks to go see an album I thought was terrible. But I do wanna just see Andre 3000, but I don't think I will pay. Okay. Thank you for listening to In the Think Tank. What a cool thing to do. Yeah, thank you so much. I hope you enjoyed yourself. Yeah, I hope you enjoyed other people enjoying themselves as well. Yes, indeed.

And we'll see you soon. Yes. Sorry about the irregular release schedule of the podcast. We're going to try and... And apologies if the audio quality has been bad recently. The balance between our voices I'm gonna try a lot harder when I edit these. George doesn't do it anymore. George doesn't do it anymore and I thought I was doing okay but I relistened because I always listen on headphones

I really listened to it recently in the car. Yeah, and I was not happy at all with the quality. So Do you ever like out of way off do you ever? Normalize them together Yeah, of course, okay Wait hang on actually, I don't know if I do know how to do that. Normalize them together. I normalize them separately. Yeah, but then, would normalizing them on the same,

when they're together, would that bring their levels to the same thing? I don't know, Andy. Ooh, I don't think so. Anyway, I'll look into it though. But we love you. Bye. Thank you, bye. I'll look into it though, but we love you. Bye.

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