Two In The Think Tank - 462 - "READING BETWEEN THE LIONS"

Episode Date: February 4, 2025

Pants Illustrated: https://www.instagram.com/pants.illustrated?utm_source=ig_web_button_share_sheet&igsh=ZDNlZDc0MzIxNw==Andy's appearance on "Unconventional Pathways" https://open.spotify.com/episode/13Vvnv8E0ws4mHOQV1JTLS?si=QbBr7oIySE-ESOYeruvScgAndy's appearance on Pitch Bleak on Youtube: https://youtu.be/grK7kSL_T2g?si=sVX-s1mhXx9ZhQDfThere's never been a better time to order Gustav & Henri from Andy and Pete's very own online shop.You can support the pod by chipping in to our patreon here (thank you!)Join the other TITTT scholars on the TITTT discord server hereHey, why not listen to Al's meditation/comedy podcast ShusherDon't forget TITTT Merch is now available on Red Bubble. Head over here and grab yourselves some material objectsYou can find us on twitter at @twointankAndy Matthews: @stupidoldandyAlasdair Tremblay-Birchall: @alasdairtb and instaAnd you can find us on the Facebook right here Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Riii, riii, riii, riii, riii, riii, riii, riii, riii, riii, riii, riii, riii, riii, riii, riii, riii, riii, riii, riii, riii, riii, riii, riii, riii, riii, riii, riii, riii, riii, riii, riii, riii, riii, riii, riii, riii, riii, riii, riii, riii, riii, riii, riii, riii, riii, riii, riii, riii, riii, riii, riii, riii, riii, riii, riii, riii, riii, riii, riii, riii, riii, riii, riii, riii, riii, riii, riii, riii, riii, riii, riii, riii, riii, riii, riii, riii, riii, riii, riii, riii, riii, riii, riii, riii, riii, riii, riii, riii, riii, riii, riii, riii, riii, riii, riii, riii, riii, riii, riii, riii, riii, riii, riii, riii, riii, riii, riii, riii, riii, riii, with Five Sketch Ideas, I'm Andy. And I'm Alistair George William Trombley-Burch. Yow. Andy. Andy. Before we start the podcast. Why is it that other podcasts what they do, see this, I've worked out what they're doing. What are they doing? This is what they do. When they do something that the audience

likes, right, they do it over and over again. It becomes a running joke and it builds a connection to the listeners. It shows that you care. And that's what parasocial, you know, that's the bedrock of parasocial relationships, right? But what we do is when we do something really annoying, Yeah, we do it more. And we laugh at ourselves for the pain that we put it's the dare to like, I dare you to like me strategy, Andy. Yes, that's what it is. I we dare you to listen. And so far, you

know, people are wisely not taking up that day. Somehow, Andy somehow the people that are listening right now Andy, somehow. The people that are listening right now. You're telling the people that are listening right now that they're not listening. I'm denying their lived experience. I'm gaslighting them, basically, aren't I? Yes, and now that we've got a taste for it, and we realize that they don't like it, this is probably going to be a running bit.

It's going to be a new thing. Yes, and people say gas lighting is bad, but they don't understand that gas is a vital transitional fuel from old dirtier forms of energy into the renewables. It's the bedrock of our, you know, it's the base load power. Well, it's not the bedrock. It was somehow trapped in the bedrock. No, you're right. You're right. Yeah, no, you're completely right. This is more the bed frame or the underlay.

The underlay, underlay. The structural, the underlay, underlay. Thank you very much. Andy? I wonder how many times people have said that to carpet. It happens every single time somebody lays a carpet they go underlay underlay when they hear that it's the underlay. I hope that in Spanish underlay just means underlay as well. And that's what Speedy Gonzales was yelling. that's what Speedy Gonzales was yelling. Yeah, yeah. Was he a carpet mouse? Is that even a type of thing? Oh, I mean that... If you have carpet snakes you must have carpet mice. There must be...

There must be a whole carpet ecosystem. An entire ecosystem. Yeah, yes. The carpet apex predators, carpet germs. There you'll see, the carpet... well there's definitely those. Carpet germs the you'll see the carpet. Well, there's definitely humans If you've seen these strips of carpet I place around the base of my toilet that little you do do that you shaped You remember those do you remember them? I think they were an 80s thing. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I remember I think I lived in a place where there was at least one temporarily maybe when we first moved in and I was at least one temporarily, maybe when we first moved in. And this is the first time I'm turning my mind to it, because previously my mind's back has been turned to this concept.

But now you're ready to face it. But yes, my mind's face is looking at full in the thing. And I've always, I guess, unconsciously assumed that was just to soak up piss. And I've always thought, what a disgusting thing to have a mat to soak up piss. You know, like, oh, there's nothing worse than piss all over the hard wooden floor, hard tile floor of this bathroom where it's easy to wipe up. Or maybe somebody was like, I'm sick of having to bend over with a cloth to wipe up this piss.

Why don't I make a cloth I can just leave on the ground and piss straight on the cloth? Yeah, I mean that is perfect. I mean, it makes you realize you could probably just go into a, you know, turn any closet into a toilet by just laying down a towel. This is a really good idea. This is a really good idea. And then why waste a good towel when you could just lay down some newspaper or something like that? And piss on that?

And just piss on that. You know? I mean And then you keep thinking Well the ground outside is absorbent Why not just piss on that? And then you realize we hadn't wrought At the beginning Andy We hadn't wrought

Like you know now we're just taking it out of the ecosystem And we decide We decide when it goes into the ecosystem But not us The big bosses The big bosses out of the ecosystem and we decide. We decide when it goes into the ecosystem. But not us. The big bosses. The big bosses of society. Big bosses at big poop and pee. Big pee pee. Big pee pee poop poo big kahuna. Number one. Yeah. Number one and number two probably get to decide. You know number two probably at least has an input.

Do you reckon that those are number one and number two? Do you reckon that's a fixed thing? That order is fixed in nature? Are those universal constants? Or do you think that like the laws of physics could change in the future? I wouldn't be surprised if there's different cultures. There's different cultures where a poopoo would be number one, they consider that. I think that if you study each culture, if you were a cultural logist and you went into a lot of tribes and also ancient civilizations. I mean, you know, the Mesopotamians, they used the base 60 number system. 69, I believe. 69? 69.

No. And what are the chances that out of those 69s numbers, that 1 and 2 would have been lined up perfectly on Poo and Pee. You got some... It could have been probably like 17 and 34. Hmm. No, I... I agree. Well, I mean, are they ranked according according to urgency because I would certainly put if that's the case You know if this is a triage system I would put number two at number one is there anything more urgent than a sneeze though

That's true I mean a sneeze I think has a false sense of its own importance in that it is I think has a false sense of its own importance in that it is, it went, like a sneeze has no resilience. A sneeze is utterly unwilling to be told, well, you wait, what you have to do doesn't really matter right now. Yeah, I reckon we could survive without sneezes. I reckon you could, like humans probably could get by

without sneezing at all. Mm. You know, it just seems yeah, I agree Yeah it's a way of getting attention I suppose and and I guess betraying your location in a You know in a film, you know in a war film. Yeah, you're hiding where I worry about that about Living, you know back in nature and snoring. Really? Yeah.

Do you feel that living back in nature is not off the cards at this point? I mean, there seems to be a non-zero chance that America might and then in the next four years You know I'm not saying it will happen he's just canceled the trade tariffs for the moment on on Canada But you know that I think that I'm just gonna take the man at his word. He wants it. Mm-hmm This is this is this is a great moment for me to do my political rant that I foreshadowed to you that would be great yes I would love to hear what a what a beautiful opening you have presented to me thank you for presenting your opening but okay But, okay, so look, I think this is another way in which language is used to manipulate,

right? But I've realized that, and I might have said this on the podcast before about things like woke but that the right they need Certain words words that are divorced from their original meaning in order to in order to be able to use them And create and use them as an other I use them as a the thing that can be attacked So you notice right and I reckon and I reckon this is my thing. I'm gonna be abbreviations are a tool of fascism. This is my theory. Because when you do things like you change,

you don't say diversity, equity, and inclusion, you say DEI, right? Because the word diversity, equity, and inclusion contains so much meaning. It is tied to its meaning so closely because of the words that are in there and you can, and when you say the phrase diversity, equity and inclusion in full, it makes it much harder to construct a sentence and say diversity, equity, and inclusion is a form of fascism or tyranny or you know it's a plot to discriminate.

You're like really? Diversity, equity, and inclusion? It's a form of discrimination? Right? But if you just say DEI and it's all anyone says now, nobody ever says the full sentence, and it works for news journalists because they can put it in a headline, right? It doesn't take up too much space, so they say DEI. But if you don't have to explicitly say the words in there, it's divorced from its meaning and you can take it, now take it and use it as another, use it as an enemy. Sure. Without its humanity, you've taken away its humanity, you've turned, it's a form of caricature.

This is it. Acronyms are the caricatures of the word world. It's like when you go to a caricaturist on a street and they will only draw your big nose, your weird ears and your bleeding mouth. And you're like, I'm not only my bleeding mouth, I have many other bleeding orifices you can't see, but they don't care about that. They only want your $10 and to put you in a little VW, right, on a skateboard. But, and so that's what acronyms do. They just take out the key features and they don't show you the real thing that lies behind it. It's the same as with the anti-fascist group antifa right yeah but they call it do you

notice that Americans they call it an Tifa and Tifa yeah you're like well no that's not that's not what it is and it's not an Tifa I mean that rolls off the tongue sure but even that you're taking it away from its meaning of anti-fa anti-fascist yeah right if you can just turn away from its meaning of antifa, antifascist. Right? If you can just turn it into a word like antifa, you're like, oh, that's just a thing. That has no innate meaning. That makes it much easier for you to twist it and turn it and plug it into whichever slot, of the many slots you desire.

I have a couple things on this. One is that I think that... I'm afraid I can't stop talking. Almost all of the words in the DEI are words that I don't think most people have, the general population have the full understanding of anyway, or just even understand equity or the, I mean diversity, they probably already think that that's bad, a lot of people. And then what's the middle one? Equity. What's the I? Inclusion.

Inclusion. I think, I don't know, I feel like a lot of those people just aren't understanding anyway. And then the other one, and so I think that it's very easy to change their meaning anyway. Because it's not like people say diversity now and they say it like in a positive sense most of the time. Yeah, maybe. Yeah. I mean, look. So you're disagreeing with me. You're disagreeing with me. No, no, no.

I did all that talking. I worked really hard to fill up three or four minutes of the podcast. Hey, look, I wrote down the acronyms or the characters of the word world. Well done for finding the only slightly amusing thing in the whole bit. But then the other part with the ist, with the anti-fascist. I feel like I'm only just really understanding what fascist means, and it's another one of those words. It's my theory that as soon as you use an ist word, you are, you're kind of like, you're speaking above the general population and then you're not in the language of people.

Like you could never compete with a populist because- Yeah, I mean, I think I'll just call them populous the pop the people the people the pop a little is there a sketch in acronyms are the Caricatures of the word world do you think? Well, I mean what is it it So a caricature is a summary. Yeah. And I mean, what would you do, you know, if you were, I mean, in a world, I guess, where everybody is books, books are walking down the street, I guess a book could walk up to

a book caricaturist and they would turn them into an acronym, the title of the book into an acronym. I mean look there's something there, I guess books could do that. I mean there's just turning things, you know, turning a long concept that you don't like into a, you know, into an acronym in order to give it a sense, like give it a kind of like a negative feeling. I mean DEI actually feels like it sounds like a department in America where like, well I mean it's somewhere between DIY and the DEA. Yes, yeah. What about a DIY DEA? The DIY DEA? You guys got any DIYs in here?

Illegal? You're holding on to illegally onto some DIYs? I think it would be a DEA that you um wait oh a D.U.I. you changed it did i oh i meant D.U.I. before yeah uh a D.I.Y. D.U.I. I have given myself uh drive a ticket written my own ticket for driving under the influence uh oh that's that's one of the best men in the world. The guy who makes a mistake and then sort of citizens arrests himself and then gives himself a DUI and cancels his driver's license for six months but he does it outside of the police system because he doesn't believe it's effective. Sends $2,000 to the

government on spec, just drops it off. What about you know giving yourself, how to give yourself a DUI on the cheap? It's a DUI DIY. Now, you feel like you need the wake up call that you need in order to turn your life around. But you can't afford all the money that it takes to pay for court fees, getting your car out of the impound. Impound. Well, all you need is a bottle of vodka, a free note, and a place to go. A blank sheet of paper and a pen. And a respect for the law in about two days' time. And I mean, what would you do?

I mean, maybe with a wake-up call, you sort of probably need to crash into something. Because what you could do is you could go and find a building site where a house is already being demolished, right? And sort of go and park your car in the rubble and then you could cover yourself in flour and sort of stagger out of the car. One way maybe would be to find a place where you could crash a car where it wouldn't seem out of place. And so what if you crashed your car at the car dump? Really great.

You see, and suddenly you- Or get a car that's already been crashed. You don't crash your car. Scare yourself straight. You find a car that's already crashed, you get in it, you get it moving, and then you crash it back into the spot where it was already crashed yeah it all where it already fits it's already been bent to to fit I mean maybe this is an option you know when

you when you you drive past a maybe you drive past an accident that has happened the police are there a drunk is behind the wheel they crashed into a telegraph pole they've just pulled him out of the car you see that you accident that has happened, the police are there, a drunk is behind the wheel, they crashed into a telegraph pole, they've just pulled him out of the car, you see that and you think, that's what I need! So you pull over, you run back to the cops and say, look fellas, can you do me while I'm here? I'm not actually drunk now, but I was last night and I was lucky to make it home. And if I could just hop in you can pull me out and it might just be might just be the wake-up call I need. Maybe you could do swapsees with the guy. I'll take his

place. Yeah yes I'm Spartacus. There should be a legal thing that if you if you tag somebody while they're in in custody that you have to then step in and take their place. So that way they that's why they got to handcuff their hands so that they don't tag anybody. Yeah, yeah. Because legally they're actually they're now safe. And cops, they have short attention spans and they are like They are like I was gonna say baby baby geese. Yes And they will imprint on any culprit they see are you my?

Suspect they'll say if they lose size all you around until We've already we already did this exact joke about I'm gonna say four years ago with motorcades I think I think we had a thing about a police motorcade that they will follow anyone Or maybe that was on the Do Go On Live special. Might be, yeah. Anyway, you know, they'll follow you like those little geeks following you. But motorkits will follow the first limo that they see. Yeah, that's it.

Alastair, did we write down anything about the pissing on the mat? The pissing on the map? That I forgot the man no we didn't because I didn't think that we had settled on anything yet. Was it just wow I mean, I think the thing about you could just piss out if you just need the man, you know, you just need the Toilet man. Yeah. Yeah, really you just need that. Okay The toy yeah remove the toilet, you just need the toilet mat. Yep. Yeah, really, you just need the mat. Okay. The toilet. Yeah, remove the toilet. You know... Yeah. Just...

Um... I wonder, when you die and you go to the pearly gates, do you think St. Peter, he actually confronts you with a jar. A jar. A jug that contains all the piss that you did that missed the toilet Over your life the full volume he's been catching your front seat Yeah, yeah Peter has he I mean, you know, maybe the semi-circular mats When they absorb the water or maybe when it evaporates right because if you leave it there long enough on the floor

when they absorb the water, or maybe when it evaporates, right? Because if you leave it there long enough on the floor, that's what it is. It goes up into heaven. When it evaporates, it goes up into heaven and Peter catches it all in a net. And then he or Eddie squeezes it out into into a jar with your name on it. And then he squeezes it out of the cloud. Yeah, I guess so. I guess with his soulful body it's easier to squeeze a clown. And then he plunges your head into it and holds it down in there.

Yeah, and then he kills you a second time. And he says, who's a little pissy wissy piss boy yeah You ever had one of those ones where you piss You but you're like sitting down on the toilet and then you piss and then it goes in between the toilet seat and the toilet And then it dribbles down the toilet and then soaks your socks I don't think it's ever soaked my socks, but I am aware of the I'm gonna say the hydrological phenomenon that you're discussing. Yes, the hydrodynamic

Potential for that to occur. I've seen it Do you think St. Peter would collect that stuff too? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, So it's very wanted. He's got ground piss like he's got earth piss mortal piss Yes, and so do you think that's bad? No, no hit me with you do you think that's bad Do you think that? The you know like how people Now start to say God is a woman. Oh, yeah, they've just started saying that right Well, you know like it, you know, I think it's a I guess it's been going for a few years now But it was a trend to like be like

Right, you think God is a woman is a 90s thing. Yeah. Yeah, but it to me it feels like I'm brand new This is a new concept. Well, you're like no, this is I've only just started listen but No, wait, this is... I've only just started listening. But, but that like as we approach the end times, it wouldn't it be classic to swap God out and put a woman in charge just before it all goes to shit? So that we can, you know, we make God a woman just as everything's going bad, so she has to take responsibility for it all? You're like, no, why, no, why are we going to blame all of this on a woman? Anyway, my little bit, my little bit I've got there for you,

Alice, it doesn't work if you don't accept the premise that people have only just started saying God is a woman in the last couple of years. But I do think that it still works without that. I actually almost don't think that it's it's it's like connected I think the I it's more like that Because I just see it as God being You know not a not a good guy and then been like bailing and just what do you think he was start a new a new universe So what do you think he's gonna do? new universe? Is that what you think he's gonna do? God is a woman now. No no no. I just think that he's just putting a woman in charge now.

Yeah yeah yeah that's what I mean. And then he's gonna go start a new universe. Yeah. Or he's gonna retire or whatever he's gonna go off and you know unfortunately you know when he retires it's like this fucking stuff that happens in the government where they're like oh the old minister has retired so we can't look into that and yeah no we shred all their documents when when we get in so we actually can't investigate um that that that issue yeah and it does look like corruption and we wish we could look into it But we can't because the minister the relevant minister has retired. You're like, oh So how that works so like if the criminals left the building you can't can't get them for theft

Is that that well, yeah, they're not they're not criminals anymore Hmm is actually a very good society of society now so we can't look into that. They're actually only criminals while they're doing the crime. Yeah. After that they're just a guy with some stuff. I mean I guess you could picture sort of governments being so much better if there was just unbelievable amounts of transparency in what they do. If one of the things that was a condition of being a politician was your loss of privacy essentially.

That any money and things like that that you get any You know any assets basically everything that you do is just tracked incredibly closely And I feel like that would be one of the few things that could save society somewhat unless it's like that thing with the with the CEOs where they started they were like, yeah, you have to start announcing how much money you make and then they start making, they started announcing it and then it starts like an arms race of who can make the most money

and then that really fucked up things as well. Do you think that did happen? I think that did happen, yeah. Is it? Fuck. But I mean, we already know how much they make in terms of money, so this is more just about like... Yeah. Watching them on the toilet and stuff.

Yeah, it's just mostly, I want to see them, see if they piss and then it goes in between the toilet seat and the bowl and then dribbles and soaks their socks. Socks their socks. I mean, how would you do this? Would you have it that like a random citizen, when they're elected a random citizen is sort of selected to watch them day and night and follow them everywhere? They would straight away just get paid off or they would they would just find a way to corrupt that system Okay. Well, I mean if I mean that person could change, you know, you could be like, you know, whose whose turn is it to watch the prime minister? Like oh, it's like jury duty. You're like everybody, you know, everybody has to do a day. So yeah I gotta go watch the fucking prime minister

Yeah, but I also just think that all of their you know, like So yeah, I gotta go watch the fucking prime minister go up to Panko, Canberra. Yeah. But I also just think that all of their, you know, like anything that happens with the banks and you know, like any, all their conversations with people has to be out in the open. I mean, you know, I know that there's that thing with national security where they're like,

oh, we can't reveal certain things, but then I just, I mean how how secure can it be you know I mean maybe it literally does need to be out in the open Alastair this is maybe this is the solution they can't go then they're not all the they're not allowed to go into buildings anymore the Prime Minister I have to live out in the open and just gonna get bigger and bigger coats. Until they're the size of rooms. Soundproof rooms.

You see Rupert Murdoch going into the Prime Minister's coat. You're like, oh, what are they doing in there? You're like, well... I mean, it never said anywhere in the Constitution that I have to let you inside my clothes and he's got this massive coat. And Rupert Murdoch's in there and Anthony Pratt's in there and Gina Reinhart's in there. You're like, I wish we knew what was happening inside the Prime Minister's coat. You're like, well you should have thought of that when we had the Constitutional Convention. When we had the referendum.

We could have got recording devices and cameras put into coats but you didn't think of that at the time. And the big coat lobby is now very powerful in Canberra and it's unlikely to change these rules anytime soon It's good a and a is it funnier if they're trousers I mean, I don't know how there is trousers inside I just I just don't understand how they would all get inside of his pants and be hidden You're right, and it feels a bit base feels very base in the iron to

Yeah, but in many ways pants are too funny and you succeeded you succeeded Alice there in your attempt not to say that but in Politicians with bigger and bigger coats I Assume we've talked about the fact that reading between the lines that like I assume we've talked about the fact that reading between the lines, that like, like that's where the words are between the lines. So reading between the lines, that's just reading, isn't it? Oh yes, of course, yeah. Well, yes, I mean they try to make you think that there's like, you know, things in the parts where, because it makes it seem like it's implying

that there's things in between the lines of written stuff. But that top line, I mean, that top line, I guess, that's not in between lines, unless you consider the line of empty space above, which I do. You know what, I'm actually thinking, mostly I'm thinking about exercise books, children's notebooks

from school yes there are lines on the paper and you you you write in words in between them could you make a sketch is there a way is there a way of making a good sketch from the shist idea of reading between the lions? You just got a read I mean This is a I mean it doesn't really utilize your pun. Yeah, but often a doesn't really utilize your pun, but often we treat reading as a sort of a relaxing thing and you might make a reading nook in your house where there's lots of cushions and some soft light and maybe a pot plant and that sort of thing, but I think that breeds a kind of complacency about reading that is a thing that you can do slowly.

Read complacency. But I think a CEO, you know, one of their secrets of success probably is that they're reading Nook Is Between Two Lions so that they can read faster. Oh yes. Right, and get out there, absorb the knowledge. I read

200 books a week as a CEO and How have I done it? Well, I've constructed a Not a reading nook but a reading I sit on a triangular wedge in two live hungry lions. Now I want to get out there. I want to get out of there fast. So I just have to reach my daily word quota. But you know, as fast as possible and I'll tell you what I've really picked up the pace when

you got that speed reading. ... angular wedge up your crack and these two sharp tooth beasts on either side. You can take, I take in full paragraphs every second. I read a paragraph like you know how you can glance at a letter and or glance at a word and Determine what word it is without even looking at the individual letters Just the shape of the word when you're an experienced reader. I'm that with paragraphs I can glance at a paragraph and just the shape of it. I In I know its meaning. Yeah, that's the level that I'm operating

it sometimes it's a whole page just you think a just the would be a good name for like a kid? Just the... Just the... Yeah, I do. Two white lions and on triangular... I'm trying to think of a word for nook, like a high performance nook, a tactical nook. A nook of... Seven nooks of highly effective people. I mean, I do like that.

Seven nooks any room can have like you know like a room could have more than one nook oh yeah well it's at least four nooks all you need is an irregular shaped room as long as it's not I guess every corner could be a nook yeah you, if you use it right, you've got to face it, I think. You've got to face the quarter. Alastair, how many sketch ideas have we inscribed in indelible ink, carved into the mighty face of Mount Notebook? One, two, three, four, five, six. Can you read between the lines for me, Alastair? Yes, yes. We do have five written down.

Ah, Cinque. Cinque. What language is that Andy? Cinque, is that Spanish? Wait, uno, dos, tres, cuatro, cinco. Cinco is Spanish. Cinco, maybe it's Italian? Should we Google it? No, because I don't know how you would. Okay, you're right. Five in Italian. I mean this is something, one of the most common things that I do. It is cinque.

Oh no, it's cinque, but yeah, I get I get what you mean. Okay. Yeah Cool. How did um, how how did How did don't why didn't why didn't why didn't um, Elon Musk do is let that sink in again thing when he went into the White House Is he living there with a sink? No, well, you know He's not living at Twitter. How he living there? Walk in with a sink. Well, you know, he's not living at Twitter. When he went into the whatever. I think he should just have a sink with him all the time. I do think that he should have a sink. For every door he goes through. I think he should dress up as a big sink. The big sink costume.

His head would be the spout and I think he should drink heaps of water so he can regurgitate it like a tap, like a faucet. He has his hands, his two hands coming up through little holes in the sort of sink structure either side of his head. It'd be pretty... And they look like the taps. It'd be cool to do it with his... And when anyone shakes his head he regurgitates a whole lot of water into that would be good to the sink

Yeah, I do like that It'd be cool if he brought in other bought you know if he had like if he had other jokes like that for other furniture Yeah, okay, you know if he was carrying a bookshelf into the White House yeah yeah speaking for my shelf something like that yeah he said speaking for my shelf yes Yes, you know, speaking for myself. Speaking for my shelf. I got that part. Shelf sounds like self.

Okay, right, right, right. That does actually make a lot of sense. But he was walking into a building, he wasn't speaking at the time. Well, yeah, but it doesn't have to be exactly the same. well yeah but maybe he could do is he could he could pretend like he's a like a puppet being held by the shelf you know like he's a ventriloquist pop yeah that yeah that's good shelf is holding on to. Is operating. Speaking from my shelf, Andy, can I just have one moment? Because I just realized it's getting close to kid pickup time, and I just have to make sure that the kids can be

picked up. I'll be back in a second. Oh, no, that's OK. I didn't understand. That was, didn't predict for a second that was a prelude to Alistair leaving the podcast for good, that's okay. I didn't understand that was didn't didn't predict for a second. That was a prelude to alice dead leaving the podcast for good By the way, I don't mean he's leaving Forever I just mean when he does leave it's for good. It's for the for the greater good

Which you know to arguably it is he wants to get his children to school They can gain an education or a pretend they can become Valuable members of society is this a new? Alastair it's you and your children. It doesn't matter. That's well go to Three words from a listener Andy so what you want. Yeah, I was gonna. That's exact words I was about to the exact words I was about to... the very words. The very, very words. Okay, well Andy, I don't know if you know this, but we have listeners.

Can you do that speech for a second? Can you do the, I don't know if you know this, but we have listeners speech? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know if you know this, but we have listeners. And sometimes those listeners support us on Patreon. Sometimes they give us $3 a month and that entitles them at a rate of $1 per word to provide us with three words. They go into something that we laughably call the system. From out of this system, occasionally a word emerges, blinking into the sunlight, holding the hands of two of its companions. Alastair, like an impresario of a freak show, grabs their hands and drags them into the spotlight for our amusement and our bemusement, I try to guess their nature looking as they

emerge from the fog at the back of the stage. I try to predict what they will be. And when I fail, like the gimp of that freak show, Alastair beats me and mocks me for your entertainment. This is the system we call the three word system. From a listener. And it is from a listener. And it is not a good system. But maybe it reveals something dark in the heart of human nature that we are otherwise unwilling to confront.

That could be true, Andy. Welcome. To three words from a listener could be true, Andy. Welcome. Two, three words from a listener. Thank you, Andy. I think you did a really good job. Up there is one of the best. I would say it's already probably in the pantheon of some of the best three words from a listener's speeches.

Oh, the pantheon. I get my panties on in the pantheon. So I suppose there's not going to be any intercourse for you in the pantheon. Um so, I I suppose there's no, there's not going to be any any intercourse for you and in the in the pantheon, Andy. Cuz your panties are all. No, no. So, Andy, uh as you just mentioned all those things, uh would you like uh the first the the the listener for today is a Hungry Metal Gobbler. Hello Hungry. Hello Hungry. Thank you for your kind words about my appearances on the

Gargle podcast. That's right. I have had other offers to appear on the Gargle again since then and while your support did make me want to say yes, I was unable to do it. But who knows what the future holds. Um, I'm gonna guess these words. The first word is pearl. No, not pearl. Pheww. Perloin. Perloin? Oh. Perloin.

Perloin. Well, even further away. Um. Oh no. No, actually, no, you did have a P in there and an R and And an I oh my god it's very close It's sounding good No the first word is spicy Oh spicy okay

Okay the second word is meat spicy meat Spicy meat oh Andy no it's the other element air Spicy air Spicy air Plane spicy airplane no idea much more timely thing it's a spicy air oligarchy Wow okay spicy oligarchy and not airigarchy, don't try and combine the two words like that Andy. I'm just stopping you now, I don't think that's a good idea. I don't think anybody wants to hear somebody say air oligarchy.

I think oligarchy. What about how to... Spicy air oligarchy. I mean, it does feel like a thing for tough guys to do is to breathe spicy air. I mean, it would hurt your eyes a bit if people had spicy breath. Yeah, well, you second-hand spice breath. Yeah, and so like like and you're not and you're not probably one of the yeah well I'll be one of the leading causes of eye watering I guess crying or sneezing yeah something that's true in the young yeah I mean it would have also

be a way to get tough guys to to cry more. You know they can probably, because you know how like you often do something with your body and it thinks that you're doing the thing. So let's say if your eyes were watering. Yes, embodiment. It might sort of give you the benefits of letting emotions out and they just find. Well, we are all aware of, you know, power poses. Yes. Right? And is that what the one where you do success arms? Was that a power pose?

Yeah, that was a power pose. What was it? Yeah. Hmm. That if you adopt the stance or the physical attitude of somebody who's achieved something, who is dominant, who is powerful, then your body, your stupid fucking body will be tricked into thinking that you are and that influences the brain because the brain wants to stay on side with the body because the brain needs the body so the brain goes along with it, humours the body and then you start to feel

powerful or successful. I suppose in a world. Why not vulnerability poses? Why not maybe what men need isn't more power. Maybe what they need is the opposite. To curl into a ball and inhale spicy air so that they can... From sort of ramen eaten by the poor?

Mmm, the ramen of the poor. Ramen of the poor? No, but you know, like... If they were embodying sort of poverty stances in order so that they could feel what it's like to be poor. And then, no, but hang on. This is, there's too many ideas. Spicy Air Oligarchy feels like it's a place in which nobody has any power, right?

Nobody has any arms no no what they have is differing amounts of spicy breath and the spicier the breath the more sway you have because people are afraid of you mmm mmm well it's sort of like a dragon. You're like a chili dragon. That's right. You know, instead of burning down people's houses, you fly past their windows breathing spicy air into their faces and making them cry. Cry as they would if indeed their house was burnt down.

And therefore, you are making them embody the behavior of somebody who is who is suffering even though and that tricks their brain into thinking that they are suffering the brain thinks why am I crying maybe because my house is burnt down and they will behave as though their house has been burned down even though you as a spicy oligarch dragon have merely breathed chili into their eyeballs. How'd you feel about that? I felt really good about it, Andy.

You did it. What we call these power players? I mean the powerful hot breath power players. Armless, armless? Exhale. Armless, Armless? Exhale? Armless? You know, I do realise that my ideas go to big physical changes very quickly in order to make a name. Do you call them chili-bellies? You call them...

Chili-bellies, yeah. Chillionaires? They are chillionaires. Are they because they are so rich? They are oligarchs but their spicy breath. Yeah. Exhale. But was there another place you were going before with the...

Not at all. No? Not at all, Alastair. No, well, I mean, I just, you know, I was just thinking that are there poses you can adopt to make you more vulnerable and allow you to access the parts of your psyche that are, well, you know, there's still a scared little child. And you know, is that actually what we need more

than we need more power? But, you know, I mean, man, this will be all over LinkedIn. They'll lap this up if we give people another way I mean, man, this will be all over LinkedIn. They'll lap this up if we give people another way to dominate in business meetings. By eating a lot of chili before you go in, breathing out your spicy breath and making the, you know, your job interviewer cry in the meeting. They will feel intimidated.

What about this you you spray the inside of your mouth with the deodorants of You have to do research on the people you're having meetings with but you spray the inside of your mouth with the deodorants of all these people's high school crushes I Was gonna say high school bull but maybe they're the same thing high school crushes. I was gonna say high school bullies, but maybe they're the same thing. High school crushes. And so while they're just picking up, you know, it's blended in with your saliva and things like that, so they're not getting it pure, but they're picking up hints, hints of this, and they don't know why they really like you.

Yes. You know, they don't know why they want to do business with you. Secretly, the business that they want to do is have teenage sex with you. You know they don't know why they want to do business with you. Secretly the business that they want to do is have teenage sex with you. But of course neither of you are that anymore. Capable of that anymore. All they know is that they want you close to them. As such they will hire you as the head of the mail room. They will hire you or they will fund your film or they will fund your you know anything that you need or head of the mail room. Yes you have become head of the mail room. I think becoming using super powerful techniques to get the entry level

position at a of your dreams. Well no it's the head of the mail room I mean come on. Oh yes. I'm not you don't come in at the head of the mail room. I mean, come on. Oh, yes. I'm not You don't come in at the head of the mail room depends which part you consider me to be the head, you know a worm And you've got me you It's like jujitsu of conversation talking to you, Alastair. Just when I think I've got you pinned, you flip me around. Depends what creature you're talking about, Andy. Depends what you mean by shitting in my pants and crying.

Ha ha ha. Aha! Are you invoking poetic license? You know? Um, are you invoking? If by my pants you mean, um, successful... My mouth. And if by shitting you mean saying. Good, saying really good things. Saying sort of inspirational things about myself. Well then yes, I am shitting. I suppose I am shitting in my pants. And if by crying you mean weeping, I mean you mean ummm...

Ummm oozing confidence. Liquid, pure liquid confidence. You see? You see Andy? You know crying is like one of those things that, you know, like a peacock's tail, how the female peacocks, they look at the tail and they think, if he's able to be that successful with such a big ridiculous tail, they think how good his genetics must be. That's what I'm like with crying.

Women look at me and they think think if he's able to cry that much he must be so hydrated oh yeah my god what a well height he's got so much liquid in his body he's a he's he's able to just and that activates that activates something in the in the sort of in the mind of someone searching for a lover they go hydrated yeah well they think he knows where there's a water source i hope there's no arsenic in it good um all right alice there take us through the scatch ideas what was the last what was that last thing we were just talking

about oh the oh it was it was a, it was a verbal, it was a, you know, it's all good. All right. Andy, the ideas for today. I feel like, look, maybe for the listener, this was a long episode, but for me, I couldn't believe how fast this episode was going. I, I, yeah, I mean, thank you for allowing the listener to live their own truth. No, thank you. But I agree. Okay acronyms are the

caricature of the word world and that was 15 minutes in when right after the the political rant that we That we then convert converted into a sketch idea Did it we did it the DIY do you I wake up call Did it. We did it. We had the DIY DUI wake up call. We've got the just read the toilet mat. No, wait. Just need the toilet mat. Remove the toilet. And this is all these people who've just they're like I've

and they're counting money. They're like look at this. I just made $45 selling my old toilet. What do you spend on toilet every year if you're spending money on toilets Yeah, you do see some of those those ads that Like they start with a completely false premise of like how much money are you spending on? crayons? Exactly.

And then we've got the... And there is someone throwing money around at the start. Yeah, and then getting an exchange of crayon, a blue crayon in exchange for all that cash. And we've got Sampy. And then they... Yep. No, no, hit me, Andy. I need to know. Well, and then they're selling some sort of product where you can make your own

crayons at home. Exactly. And you just buy this for like $200 and you'll never spend money on a crayon again. Or you have like a a new material that like is a permanent crayon. It's just a piece of metal rod, but it, you know, paper reacts to it in a crayoni way That's actually a really cool idea, and we should there is a there is a metal thing like that That's like it works like that as a like a pen or a pencil But it it has a reaction in the pen in the paper I can't remember what it was but so it's like an endless pencil cool Then we've got the st. Peter confronts you with all the piss you missed the bowl with.

You've got attempts to get transparency results in politicians with bigger, no sorry, attempts to get transparency results in politicians with bigger and bigger coats. Always the case, isn't it? We've got between two lions and on a triangular wedge reading technique. Yep. The fast reading technique. We've got more furniture jokes for Elon and he becomes more sinky. And then we've got powerful hot breath power players also known known as the Chillionaires. Andy, some really classic sketch ideas here today. I think it was a really fun episode.

I had a great time. I have had fun and I'm not saying that it wasn't a fun episode. I just dropped my big rubber ball onto my own crotch. All right Dignity always dignity dignity You know, I I'm genuinely like I just almost, I just don't believe in dignity. So that's why it's kind of like, I can really use it. That's my thing.

Like, especially like at the French gigs where I'm like, all right, I just need to let this crowd know that I don't care if they laugh at me. I have to like make them be okay with that. And then we're going to have fun. Really? Yeah. And so what do you do? Well, I haven't figured it out entirely yet, but basically I'm trying to point out that

I do have the vocabulary of a 13-year-old who was hit on the head very hard. And so that's the kind of line I've basically been trying to start with a bit more. Yeah. And so that they can understand that I'm not gonna speak properly. No, that's good. Yeah. All right, here we go. Dee, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo,

doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo. Thank you so much for listening to The Think Tank. We stopped so suddenly, it was great. Yeah. We dip you in and we whip you out. We dip and we whip.

We dip and whip. Welcome back to Dip and Whip. I'm Chuck. And I'm the Professor. That's very exciting. Speaking of that, Frenzel Rome are going to be playing near in Quebec here in the next little bit. I know it's not Chuck and the Professor, but it is, what's the other one?

Something and the Doctor? J and the Doctor. Which is very close. It's good. Yeah, Alisey, you got anything to plug? Ah, I mean I'm gonna be doing... You got any podcasts recently? Wait, I'm gonna be doing... No, I haven't.

But I'm gonna be doing a show, and they're really wanting to promote it. Um, called... I'm doing Tinder Tales in Montreal. And so, um, Tinder Tales Live. and that'll be soon so look it up on my Instagram Tinder Tales Live and I'm gonna tell all my tales of the times I wasn't on Tinder but the bad dates that were caused by me being bad. Yeah cool. That does sound good. Yeah. Alright. Take care Andy. I'm not doing anything. Sorry, Andy. And... We...

We... Love... You... Bye... See you.