Two In The Think Tank - 484 - "CAT PAIN PLANET"

Episode Date: July 10, 2025

Disposable Vocab, Diminishing WordPlay, Coincidoctor, Motor Oil Vinaigrette, Cat Pain, The Sausage Being Made, Westminster Dad Show, Banjo String TransplantSketch Spreadsheet by Will Runt: https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1e2HYV7-VcnAV08wyHA7OFbqh_UCnVDUheiNFiqxPX_Y/edit?usp=sharingThink Tank Institute: https://lookerstudio.google.com/s/kH2int_ZkuICheck out our comics on instagram with Peader Thomas at Pants IllustratedOrder Gustav & Henri from Andy and Pete's very own online shopYou can support the pod by chipping in to our patreon here (thank you!)Join the other TITTT scholars on the TITTT discord server hereHey, why not listen to Al's meditation/comedy podcast ShusherDon't forget TITTT Merch is now available on Red Bubble. Head over here and grab yourselves some material objectsAlasdair Tremblay-Birchall: @alasdairtb and instaAnd you can find us on the Facebook right here Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing b I'm Andy. And I'm Alistair George. William Trombley, Virgil. We are currently the furthest apart we've ever been. We are. This is a... I am in Perth, Western Australia. He is in Montreal, Canada. And we are running this wire right up the guts of the earth. And there might be some interference from the liquid metal in the center and the magnetic field that it creates. But this is through the core core.

We are doing it. They said that maybe the audio situation couldn't get worse than when I've been responsible for it But but we are challenging those people to eat their words Yes, pushing both the limits of the technology and the audience's patience. Yes, and when they Develop an audience member with more patience. We, we will be the first adopters. We will be right there on the cutting edge of audience technology, getting those listeners and pushing them to their very limits to find out their capabilities. I mean, it is crazy, because they are creating new formats faster than they're creating new types of audience.

Yes. So rather than keep moving from format to format, we are going to stay in the same format and then wait for audiences who have enough patience to come and listen to us. You know, and we know that they will wait. Yeah. We compress the size of the available audience due to the poor quality of our

audio technology. Andy, Andy, you sound like you got a, you got a difficulty in your voice, you know, like you're struggling just to get through the minute. Um, for a moment it weighed upon me the delay that we're dealing with, but Alastair, don't, don't let that upset you don't worry about me I'll be fine Andy you can trust me I'll fix it all in the edit Hmm oh good oh thank god Yeah so you don't need to worry about that

I thought I was editing them now Well you did it last week Yeah I'm gonna do it again. Oh man, you've ripped it from my hands. Yeah, that's right. I've seized control of the controls. Is there a way in which... yeah. Do you think that the C in USB-C does stand for Cloaca? Because they really have made a port that goes both ways.

That is an in and out of everything. Yeah. And, and, um, and is universal, right? It can charge the computer, all that stuff. I, I, it only just occurred to me as we were setting up for this episode. That that's probably what it is. Well I mean that's the thing is that it's a bit like ATM machine because the universal at the beginning you know that's kind of already explained in the

cloaca bit. Yeah. So even on the first word you're repeating yourself. Yeah. You haven't even said anything. You haven't even said anything. You haven't even said anything. I mean really in the silence before the word. You said one word. I'm already bored and annoyed with you. This is getting repetitive. For the love of God.

I mean, you could do that after you say hello and then then somebody says hello back. You say you copying me, mate This is getting very repetitive You make it your own thing, right? Well, I choose to treat that as an homage rather than a parody I'll say that Yeah, sure I like to see it as a lack of creativity. It's a failure on my part every time I... I feel like that...

On your part? Oh. It's a failure on my part any time I use a word that somebody has already defined and used. Mmm. Mmm. If they've defined it but never used it then I'm okay I could I don't feel so bad Yeah Well, that's that's where our speculative dictionary comes in Absolutely, so they write a definition and they haven't

but they still don't write the word yet, Maybe they write most of the word minus one letter. And then, and that way they still haven't really used it. It's still a virgin word that people can use and not feel embarrassed. Yeah. It's the iconoclasts dictionary. Maybe like everybody could use it at the same time. And so it's still not been used at the moment that everybody's using it. Okay. Yes. You like switch it on and everybody starts using it simultaneously.

Yeah, but they only said use it once and then they can't use it again. Yeah. Single use. It's a single use vocabulary. Once you've used one of these words, this thing senses when one of these words has been used and it actually removes itself. It deletes that word. That would be a really insane... I mean I guess you could do a play like that where you're only allowed to use each word one time and maybe all and then all the words are on the board and they get erased they get erased every time one is used. Oh you you know what? There's a fucking cool idea, especially as you get close to the end of the play. Right?

You only have all the words in the play are up there in a random order. And as you get close to the end of the play, the number of words available reduces. And then there's, you know, just like 10 words left up there that are the final words to play. And then it's just, you know, you just hear them being said in a particular order. You're reading them and you know that they are going to be said, but are they going to be, oh, I did the murder that just happened. Or are they going to be, oh, I did the murder that just happened. It feels like you're using way more words than you would

Than you would normally use you're like, oh, there's not many words left How's it how they gonna pull off the end of the of this play with so few words Oh, I just used them all in one sentence What I Did the movie that was, I don't know. I think what I said made perfect sense, but what it feels like to me, Alastair, is that maybe you and I had radically different visions of this play. Okay? And we thought we were talking about the same thing, but in fact, we were, we could, we were poles apart.

We were, we were hemispheres apart, Alastair. We were like Montreal and Perth. We were like, Northwest and Southeast. Did you hear what I was singing? Did you hear what I was singing? No you hear what I was singing at the start of the episode? I was singing ar-tuh-buh ar-tuh-buh ar-tuh-buh ar-tuh-buh Oh did you hear what I was singing? No.

Ah-jum-muh ah-jum-muh Wait really? No. No not at all. But imagine how cool it felt for a second when you thought we almost had a coincidence. Well, yes, we almost had, we were almost capable of being on the same page about something instead of impossibly disagreeing beyond all rationality. What about this?

It's a guy who, if you pay him, he will go and change some videos and photos of an event to make it look like coincidences happened. Yeah, okay. Cool. He's the coincidude. He's the, yeah, the, the co-inca doctor. Oh, that's very good. Um, yeah. I mean, I imagine that would satisfy some kind of, um, some, you know, it would be almost like the pornography of coincidences, right? Like pornography is sex that isn't really, you know, it isn't really just happening. And, but there are people who find coincidences so, um, meaningful.

They derive so much meaning from it. And, uh, and we'll be able to, yeah, we, we, that's what we do at the Coincidoktor. Um, they, uh, um, and one of the great things about the Coincidoktor is that when you call him up on the phone, uh, you say, is this the Coincidoktor? And he says, Oh my God, yes. That's right. Yeah. Whoa. Yeah. That was amazing. I can't believe what are the chances, man? What are the chances?

Of all the numbers you could have called to find the co-winky doctor. And then is it sort of like porn as well in that like it becomes way more like these are really like aggressive, like way more aggressive of a coincidence than you would ever hope to experience in life. Be enjoyable. Yeah. ever Hope to experience the enjoyable. Yeah Imagine anybody is anybody having a good time Seems like nobody would really want to be here Well done for getting through that

The yes, yes, that's right. They're very aggressive coincidences. Um, like, I mean, I mean, I guess it would be like, it would be like two guys traveling from opposite ends of like a, of like a country. And then they both stop at the same rest stop somewhere in the middle of the country. Okay. Yeah. And then they go and use the same bathroom

and there's two urinals. And they pee next to each other and then they have the exact same penis. Ha ha ha. Can you believe it? We got identical penises. It's sort of like aggressively too coincidental. It made me think that, uh, that, you know, those, those companies that will do it like a plaster cast of your, your front genital and make a sex toy based on that.

Have you, have you, are you aware of this? Yeah, I think I have heard that. Yeah. Do you, are you, are you suggesting merch for, for Toon the Think Tank? No, I'm suggesting they should be called the Bona Clona. And if they're not, they should hang their heads in shame. Yeah. Okay.

Get out of the industry and make way for somebody who fucking cares. Yeah. Because it's a privilege. It's a privilege to be working in that role and You're not gonna if you're not gonna take it seriously You know is a boner also somebody who takes the bones out of like a creature It's a good question or would that be a deboner yeah a Deboner, but but you got itboner. But you gotta, like,

you're boning a chicken, right? Andy, you're boning a chicken, right? Yeah, what does boner chicken? Yeah, but then is boning and de-boning the same thing? Yeah. I guess so. I mean, maybe not. I guess nobody wants to say they're boning a chicken. It's never been an easy time to say that. Yeah, to be in the act, to be caught in the act. I wonder if when you de-bone a chicken, if you do it properly, you get all the bones up, but you also put back in the chicken's innocence. It's a multi-pronged deboning. Yeah, multi-pronged. We give with one hand and we take with another.

Yeah, you do it with a fork. That's why it's multi-pronged. We do it with a fork. Yeah. Anyway, I was saying A-tu-ber because there because there's that song Ah-Puh-Tuh. Oh yeah. And I'm listening to your initials Ah-Tuh-Buh. Oh yeah. And I just wanted to know if you'd ever sung along to that song singing your own initials? Um, I mean, I normally do that with most K-pop songs,

but that's the one one where I haven't done that and I feel actually embarrassed. The one one. The 11th is what I meant. The 11th one where I haven't done that. But basically with the rest of the sort of K-pop canon, you can find recordings on my website of just me singing my initials to them. Thanks. That's all I needed to know. Yeah. I'm glad I took us back there just to get that confirmation, because I think that the listeners would have been hanging out and they would have waited a long time because they're very patient. But, you know. Do you think that you could make like a motor oil vinaigrette? Hmm.

Ooh. I believe that's sort of what happens when you get, when you let rainwater, when your gaskets are gone and you let a bit of rainwater get into the, into the engine. But, but yes. I mean, it's being stirred constantly by those piston rods, right? Yeah. Down there and then in the sun.

But it's got, I guess the rain is acidic. Do you think? Ah, yeah. If there's acid rain. Cause is that, is that what it is? It's the, it's the acid that's kind of doing the emulsifying. Oh, I don't know. I hadn't thought about that. I don't know. Because they still separate,

right? Does the acid emulsify? Maybe, probably. Let's say yes. Let's say it definitely does Alastair. Correct. God, you're right. I think a mechanic, when you get your oil changed, I say, just for something nice, we popped a bit of vinaigrette in there. I think that's lovely. A little bit of vinegar in with the thing. A little bit of vinegar, yeah. I mean, you know.

A little motor vinegar. If there's motor oil, this is Castrol's new Malta Balsamic. Oh, they've done such a good job with this. Balsamic, motor balsamic. Okay. Yeah, yeah. And so this is from squeezing motors that they get a vinegar out of it or they just

or how do they make a vinegar? No, it's for motors. Yeah. Like motor oil. Yeah. They have a Malta balsamic. No, you keep for motors. Yeah, like motor oil. Yeah, they have a Malta Balsamic now you keep saying Malta like are you mean Malta country? Oh No, I would never say that I would never say because you're also talking about a food that sounds like it could come from Malta

And there could be people in that country that are really into motor cars That so I like I'm just trying to get the clarity of your idea. I was saying Malta. I've been saying Malta this whole time. But instead of motor. No, no. Oh God. Or are you saying that this is a balsamic vinegar from Malta?

I haven't said Malta once and I'm beginning to resent the implication that I would say Malta when I've been saying motor. You've been saying motor, okay. Motor, motor. Oh John got a new motor. Is Malta a country, is that an island or am I just thinking of Cyprus? You're not just thinking of Cyprus, you're also thinking of Malta. Malta is an island? Yes, yes indeed. And I think people from Malta, they might be Maltesers? Uh, Maltese? Definitely Maltese. Yeah. But are they- Maltesers. Hmm.

And, and you are, I bet, are you spelling it with the E-A that makes it seem like they are sort of somewhere between malt, like, you know, like a, like a child of both malt and someone who will annoy you but lightly in a way that is not too aggressive? A light annoyance, a light possibly enjoyable annoyance. An enjoyable annoyance. An annoyable annoyance. An annoyable endurance. Oh, annoyances. Yeah, probably.

Probably I am saying that. I find those island countries in the Mediterranean fascinating. And I would love to go to all of them. And I would love to go to all of them and I would love to learn about their history. It sounded like you were going to say invest in them. I could do that as well. I would invest my time and my passion in learning about their history and looking at their old rocks, their old white rocks that I imagine they have a lot of.

I am always shocked when I think about like all those ancient Greek stories and the Odyssey and stuff like that and that they were, that he was just lost in the Mediterranean Sea. Hmm, doesn't seem big enough. Yeah. To get posted. Yeah. Like I get that it's pretty big, but a whole Odyssey? You know, it does seem like it's essentially a glorified lake.

Yes, and he was supposed to be famously smart as well. You know, great tactician, super smart dude. Just sort of go, just keep going left or right until you've reached the shore and then go around the shore and then go around the shore or something left or right that's probably what he was thinking I'll just keep going left or right until I reach the shore and so he goes he goes left for a bit and he's like nah it's not working I'll go right

and then he goes right you can't do that you got to stick with it this is his problem and this is the problem but also if you keep going left, aren't you just going to spiral? Um, well, turn left and then go in that direction. You're right. And that'd be forward. Yeah. I'll see the problem. I've, I've, I've cooked it.

I thought I knew what I was doing. I was a Mediterranean. You thought you'd come up with a perfect Mediterranean solution. Yeah. But, um, no, you're absolutely right. It's harder than it looks. Just to go back to the motor oil thing, just for a second. Yeah.

I, I do think that if, you know, it's not a crazy idea to try in case there, there is some kind of robot revolution and when they come out, they might want some kind of metal salad. Because it's hard to picture, it's hard to picture that any metallic thing will eat organic material. It doesn't seem like that's gonna help them. They're gonna want all metal stuff. No, you're right.

And metal, um, yeah, yeah. I mean, I don't see why not. If, if, and especially if they've been trained on our culture, you know, they're going to want to emulate certain aspects of that and one of those will be eating food, even if it's not strictly necessary. So yeah, I can see that. And what I like about this Alastair is that when, So yeah, I can see that. And what I like about this Alastair is that when, you know, I think a lot of people say, oh, prepare for the robot uprising. And what they're doing, that they might be

planning for how they're going to kill the robots, or they might be stashing away food for themselves in an underground bunker. But nobody's preparing for after the uprising, when the robots are our overlords, how they're going to please them, how they are going to ingratiate themselves with our new masters. Nobody's thinking about gifts that they might like. You as the inventor of the metal salad, you're going to be right there at the top of the heap of skulls offering a bowl of delicious, let's see, Caesar salad. Come on Andy, you can do this.

You can do this. Oh, rocket salad? Sure. Yeah. That's pretty good. Oh, I mean, it's, I don't know that enough names of a different salad, enough salads. Um, cause what about this grok salad? It's like a Greek salad, but the grok, the, um, uh, the famously racist AI on Elon Musk's X. Yeah. Mad. It's, uh, it's so good. Isn't that Andy?

We're what a time to be alive. Believe that a robot is even taking racists jobs. You know, there's a lot of people who as they became disenfranchised economically and politically turned to becoming trolls on the internet to become to feel powerful now, you know, to give meaning to their lives and now a robot is doing that, is capable of doing that can do the The racist bullshit that they had and they've they've lost they've lost that as well And I mean that must be really sad that must be really sad But you know, I think that they're just glad to have somebody to talk, you know

Who really agrees with them and that they can talk to about stuff like that, you know And it doesn't give give them a hard. That doesn't ever go like, yeah, but what about this? They go, oh shut up. That is going to be one of the biggest consequences is how. Yeah, anyway, we don't talk about that stuff on this podcast. I forgot. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, if we were going to talk about it, though, we would have to say then we have to like, they're going to have to bring some other company, some charity like Greenpeace is going to have to create like a social justice warrior AI that combats those comments online by arguing with them. And so then they have the same conversations that everybody would normally be having.

I mean, I think this is actually already what's happening. It's all just bots arguing with each other. Okay. Conversation over. No, sorry, Alastair. I temporarily stopped my recording. Oh no. But I restarted it.

It's okay. I'll edit this back together. Everything will be fine. Okay. But I, um, my screen went dead went black blank And then I was like pressing all the buttons trying to get it to come back on and it just wasn't coming back on for some Reason but then I turned up the brightness and it came back on so for some reason it had decided to not actually go to sleep, but to turn its brightness down to zero

I think because it heard what we were talking about and, um, didn't want to be present. Yeah. That could have been Captain Planet. Could have been captive. Turned the brightness down to zero. You know, did you know that that's exactly what I was thinking?

Yeah, yeah, no, of course I knew that was what you were thinking. We meant to summon Captain Planet, but we accidentally summoned Catpain Planet. Cat pain planet. This is a world planet of, of, uh, people who just torture cats. And just sick. The whole planet has sort of appeared on our planet. So it's, it's caused immense destruction. Right. There is tsunamis going around the world and there's this now another planet on top of our planet embedded in it and there is so much cat pain emitting from it.

Now all the cat torturers from that planet are flooding onto our planet It's also it's probably the new cats. It's a planet where It's very hostile to cats both in probably temperature and yeah The creatures there that love to you know, but in response to that the cats have have Evolved sort of very quick breeding times, extremely quick. And while they're in pain, they're already like trying to create babies and so it's a very awful thing. It's not a great place to be a cat. Yeah. But then once the cats, those cats, those invasive alien cats get onto earth, they'll breed so quickly and take over the place and we'll actually have no choice but to start

killing them and probably torturing them to try and keep their numbers down. That's right. And then we become cat pain planet. Maybe that's not even their original down. That's right. And then we become Catpain Planet. Maybe that's not even their original planet, you know? Maybe they did come from another planet and this is, they had just landed on somewhere and then everybody who was already there had to just start torturing and hurting them to try to save their own planet. And so even though we've called it Catpain and we were making it seem like the people of the planet are cruel for all the campaign they're causing, they're

actually fighting for the survival of their life. And now somehow they've been teleported into another planet, which is a disaster for them just as they were getting on top of this cat problem. Yeah. disaster for them just as they were getting on top of this cat problem. Yeah, no, we, you know, the last thing they need is our judgment. They already have so much to deal with. That's right. They didn't call it cat pain planet themselves. Anyway, and then now there's five kids with rings that are getting put into jail in Australia.

I mean, you know, in our, on our planet, not just Australia, they're getting put into jail for summoning this thing. And again, it was, they were just trying to do, you know, green activism essentially by summoning Captain Planet. Pollution down to zero. Yeah. By summoning Captain Planet. Pollution down to zero. Is that what it was? Gonna take pollution down? Gonna take pollution down.

Take it down. Turn it down really implies that it's just a big dial. We had mistakenly turned up too high. That's right. Do you know like there's that there's an issue where they don't like they were like how do long neck dinosaurs breathe? Like because the pipe is so long isn't there a thing where I think if a straw is a certain length you just can't get any more suction out of it. Oh, wow. I think.

Um, yeah, I've heard of something along these lines. Yes, yes, yes. You can't, you can't suck, suck the long through the long straw. Yeah, I've heard of this. I've heard of this. That, that, that's saying you can't suck through the long straw. I mean, it, it, it often occurs in, I think like a looney tunes cartoon, you know, someone will have a really long straw

that they're using to steal somebody else's milkshake or some such, but I don't think they ever went into the science of it. No, no, no, no, no, not sorry. It's less Looney Tunes, more Tom and Jerry. I remember. Oh yeah, they love to steal a milkshake. That actually feels like it comes from milkshake culture. Like it feels like it comes out of the 1950s when I feel like milkshakes were probably at their peak.

You'd go to like a milk bar and some guy with a... Like, have you ever seen somebody make a milkshake without one of those, like a blender or anything like that? Where they just basically do it by poking either like a straw in or like a... or mixing it with a spoon essentially? Just sort of jiggle it around. Jiggle it around? No, I've never seen that.

No. That's the old school way, man. Wow. You know, that's when people people worked in milk bars were really making their earning their keep in those places. God, I love a thick shake. I love a thick shake. Just a really thick, thick shake.

Yeah. There's almost nothing better. Yeah. I mean, there must be a way of just making every meal a thick shake. Surely. You know, cause I've a way of just making every meal a thick shake. Surely. You know, because I've been thinking about this with hot dogs, right? Like hot dogs, I've been, that's the, you know, that's the thing since I've been here. They're just so good to eat.

Right. And, and, but this is what I've been thinking about is that it seems very clear that they don't care what they put into hot dogs right but then throughout this whole time why hasn't anyone at any point considered putting like a vitamin in there like surely you could even just Nobody's thought about it for even a second. You know what I mean? Like surely you could even just throw like a vitamin C tablet into the vat of mush or whatever. You know? Yeah.

Just one. Just one. Just anything. And the only other thing is, I want to discuss, is that little sort of reverse sphincter that they have at the end of them on each end, right? Where it kind of looks like when it came out of, when it's like came out of whatever pipe it was made in and it was still kind of warm, right?

And soft and malleable, somebody grabbed it and just pressed it up against an anus and put the little stamp of approval they go and then turn around like that Yeah Unless it was one kiss One is yeah one isn't supposed to represent the Because you know people say lips and anuses that are in hot dogs You know, and so do you think one, one is supposed to represent the lips and the other one is supposed to represent the, the anus?

Yeah, it's a little nod. It's a little nod to their origins. It's paying, paying a beautiful little tribute there. It's a beautiful tribute. It's like, yeah, so somebody go, but, but maybe somebody is doing that. They're going boop downstairs and then giving a little kiss up top like that. Throw it, then throw it in the pile of hot dogs or push it tight into one of those vacuum seal packs.

Look, we've always assumed that, you know, the saying nobody likes to see the sausage being made. Yeah. We've always assumed it was just because of the sort of the visceral nature of the, you know, all the meat being ground and that sort of thing. But that's just the sausage industry propaganda. They came up with that saying to make us think it's disgusting. Actually, it's fine to watch the sausage being made. They came up with that horrible truth to hide a much more horrible truth. Yes, they don't want us to see this bloke who I imagine is sort of splayed over a large

sort of curved ottoman with his butt up in the air. And I imagine it would be a mechanized process by now, but there would be robotic arms that sort of jam these sausages. He's got his legs up. He's got a robot arm holding up each leg. And he's on an eight hour shift. He's on an eight hour shift.

And look, a lot of the times the people thought it was, oh, you don't want to see that meat being ground up. But really the horrible thing about seeing a sausage made is the nudity. A lot of the times the people thought it was, oh, you don't want to see that meat being ground up. But really the horrible thing about seeing a sausage made is the nudity, the full frontal nudity. It's actually- The most disgusting thing. It's actually like he's brought his back nudity to the front by having his legs are so elevated.

It's full frontal back nudity and, and he's managed to get his, his back genital to the front and... It is. Yeah. Yeah. We say that full frontal is the, is the, you know, the, the, the most extreme form of nudity, but really it's full baccal, I think. Yes, full baccal.

Actually way more extreme than the Yeah, I mean unless full frontal is what we're describing where he you have fully pulled all the nudity around to the front I didn't realize that's what the full meant. Yeah Yeah, I just realized that so like we might be talking about like half Like half frontal nudity could just be dick. You know, half frontal. Yeah.

Most what, what you think of as being full frontal is actually only partial frontal nudity. Yeah. That's crazy. I wonder, I wonder if on TV, if on like let's say channel 10 in Australia Whether if you had to make them choose You got to show a dick or like a you know like a full-on anus Which one that they would put on first?

Yeah, there's like the government photo quota. You've got to do one. Sorry. And it's got to be Aussie. Well you know what would be really good would be if they extended the content quotas to include, because they're including streamers now, the streaming sites in content quotas to include, because they're including streamers now, the streaming sites and content quotas now. What about the pornography sites?

And what about if they're also, they have to do. No, that doesn't make sense. You were right, Alastair. I think we should get the TV sensors in and we should face them with impossible hypothetical scenarios. You have to include, would you rather broadcast 10 dicks or one butthole? Your answer will be final. It will be, but it's like, it's also, it's like they're like a reverse sensor now where they're like people there's too many pants in this you're gonna have to Photoshop in one but an anus over the top of one of those pairs of pants

And so... Over the top. And it's just the bottom there. It's over the top of the pants. You just gotta, yeah, you gotta make it look like it's an open back pant. Hmm. What do you say we make these chaps arseless? And then, but then, you know, the editor's like, Oh, you mean just take the butts off some men?

No, no, no, no, no. No, no, no. Alastair, I hate to ask, how many sketch ideas have we written down? You know what? It's actually strange that you should ask at this point, because we do have one, two, three, four, five, six. So then that takes us to three words from a listener. Ah, yes.

And Trio. And today's listener, Andy, who kindly supports us on Patreon, uh, is B.Boon. Be Boon. Benson Boon? I think it could be Benson and Bej's Boon. Beboon. Benson Boon? I think it could be Benson and Bej's Boon. A B really is a double D. Oh. Yeah. I wonder if they call him Baboon at school. Yeah, Benson Boon. Do you know if it's Benson?

Are you joking? I'm referring to the singer. Okay, I don't know who B.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O. Okay, I don't know who Benson Boone is. The popular musician. Yeah, they're real big right now. They can do a flip Alastair. They've achieved all our dreams. Oh, is that guy always doing lots of flips? Off a piano? He's always flippin'. Yeah, that's him. That's Benson Boone. Baboon.

A, B, F. Always be flippin'. Flippin' I mean if I could flip I would always be flippin' That is true You think so? What are you gonna not flip? What are you gonna not flip?

If I could flip I would flip And to, if you can flip and you don't flip that is a tragedy If you flip and you can't flip don't flip Flip flip and you can't flip don't flip That's one of your songs Is it? If you flip and you can't flip, don't flip. Flip, flip and you can't flip. Don't flip. That's one of my songs. Is it? Okay, wait.

Now let's see. Okay, Andy, are you ready? The three words. Oh, yes. Are, you guessed me the first one. Expansion. Not even close dueling dueling bongos dueling bongos no but close Okay. Dueling penile. Dueling penile.

Penile. Penile encampment? Oh, good guess. No, frenula. What does frenula mean? guess, no, Frenula. What does Frenula mean? It's... Frenulum is something.

Yeah. So Frenula would be the plural. Uh, it's, um, it's a sensitive elastic band of tissue under the glands penis that connects the foreskin to the vulcosa. So this is also known as the banjo streak. So this is duelling banjo streak. Yeah. It's very weird because I was just doing a quiz question about... Banjo streaks.

No, about the movie there. That movie. Deliverance. Deliverance. Deliverance. Wow. About banjo streaks. No about the movie there that movie deliverance deliverance deliverance Wow I mean be boon bravo bravo. Yeah This is the extra B is for bravo boon Yeah, this is a beautiful bit of work and I'm very proud of you. I love people sending us encoded jokes.

Yeah. I guess that's something that listeners have been doing for a while, but I just had never realized they're encoding jokes into the three word formula. Yeah, it's very impressive. Um, dueling, so dueling Petros. I'm having, I'm having my frenula re-strong. I don't know what that is, but. Yeah, Yeah. I mean, it feels like, you know, it's, it may be the last part of the human body. We haven't yet fetishized and that hasn't yet been, um, uh, in some way body shamed. Right. And because it's, because it's so often hidden there behind the foreskin. Um, it thought that it could escape the, uh, the judgmental gaze of, uh, the population.

But, um, no longer. We, um, we are, we're onto you, uh, frenulum and we're going to start judging, uh, the appearance of it. Men's frenula. going to start judging the appearance of it, men's frenula and just, you know, what would we judge them on? Well, I guess the tautness of it. I guess, I guess like it's, I'm just picturing, I mean, this is very stupid, but like I'm picturing like a dog show and people are going and they're lifting them up and they're squeezing stuff and they're going, ah yes, it's got good hind quarters.

And I guess, I mean, if you just pictured, I guess it's a dog show, but it's men. And, but then it's just a guy with a beard and glasses who's just feeling them up and making, making decisions on, you know, who is D. Like, you know, I guess you could have different categories of guys and how those categories should be treated like, you know, like a sort of like a, I mean, I'm going to say it like this because this feels less stupid, but if it's, let's say it's like, ah, yes, an Eastern, it's like, or like a, let's say a posh fuckhead like that and and that's sort of supposed to be the breed and they're like yes Oh, yes. He's look he's got the you can see he has the

You know that the I don't know. I'm trying to think of something stupid the thickness of Skull I Couldn't I couldn't do it Andy I couldn't do it. But you know what I mean? Like there's this... Yeah, yeah, yeah. I guess that's sort of a challenge. What about this? It's the Westminster Dad Show, right?

And it's all dads on display. And they're being walked around, I guess by one of their children. And you know, they have to do various challenges like the dogs in the Westminster dog show Maybe they have to walk down the centre of aisle at Aldi without being distracted by the tools Maybe they have to By the pools, let's say show the tools of the tools the hardware in the central at Aldi Maybe they have to show you something on their iPad video. It feels like a very sellable sketch Andy.

Yeah thank you and there could be no faint of praise Alastair. No but like I guess there is also like you know then you can be squeezing the belly and you say, ah, yes, it's got a good layer of, um, you know, um, sort of what's, uh, what's that fat that they, that is around your organs that they always say is the worst one. Oh, what is that? Is it like yellow fat or white fat or something? There's often a, there's a slightly scarier name, visceral fat. Visceral fat. Wow. That is, yeah, that is full on. Yeah. Um, and you know, they're like, ah, yes, that's good.

Yeah. It's like, cause you know, and he could comment on one that does have abs and sort of say that it just really does seem to be lacking the visceral fat that you would expect with this breed. Yeah. Yeah. It's disappointing. I mean, but Alastair, if you, if you, if you want it to go there, the sketch can evolve. It can end up with the dad sort of squatting on all fours naked on a plinth and having their, uh, their freckles. Hot dogs pressed against their front and back. You know, while you were talking, yeah, while you were talking before, I did start thinking

about a guy who maybe ate a particularly sharp corn chip and accidentally cut, um, the, the, the thing underneath his tongue that holds his tongue in place and then they're like it's okay we'll do a well we'll we can just take a part like that from another part of your body and replace it very easily and buddy take they take the penile banjo string mmm Mm-hmm. It transplanted. It transplanted. Yeah, that's good. Yeah. But now, yeah, I guess you don't lose, probably don't lose that much. Doesn't seem like something that's essential. Well, yeah, I don't know. I think... I don't know. You don't know what you've got till it's gone. It's that's right It's also like the most

Chicken like part of the human body, I think Mmm whatever the like is it they Yeah, you know like the stuff that they have on the chickens They're the red bit and then on the top and bottom that feel like they're called a couple couple bit on the top and bottom that feel like they're called a gobble gobble. Yes. Mmm. Mmm. Yeah, I would call it that.

Yeah. So you know the gobble gobble on top and bottom there. The gobble gobble. It's gobble gobbleonions. Yep. Gobbly business. Yeah. Andy, should I take a sketch ideas?

I think you should. I think we've done everything we can in here We you would do yes, we've got the single use vocabulary. We've got the play where you Only use the words once and they disappear I don't know what that is. Maybe you're making a play out of the words of another piece of writing. Oh That's good. And then, but you're rearranging them and you can only use each word once.

Okay, we've got the coincidoktor who makes coincidence videos that are much more aggressive than we actually like in regular life. I can't even handle a regular, I'm not even able to enjoy a regular coincidence anymore because of the extreme ones. I've been watching online Sorry, this has been also very you wonder they're like I'm I'm coming. I'm also coming. What are the chances? Oh my god

It wouldn't read about it you wouldn't read about Motor oil vinaigrette for robot salads to prepare it, people who are prepared for the robot revolution, you know, but they're not preparing the kind of gifts that you would give robots. Yes. We've got cat paint. I just want to make it clear that before when I said that thing about them coming, they were just arriving at an event.

Oh yeah. Both going along to a to a arty. It wasn't a sexual thing. Oh you weren't going for the porn one? I mean it would be nice to see maybe in a porn. Somebody goes, I'm coming. What a coincidence, I am also. Um we have the-

You knocked me down with a feather. Yeah. The, uh, the lipid anus stamp on the hot dog tips. Um, we've got the, the Westminster dad show and we've got the under tongue banjo string transplant. Hmm. I can do, it's been a very Dick heavy thing and I blame entirely myself. And I apologize.

Now I, no, no, no, not at all. Not at all. I blame the delay. I apologize. No, no, no, not at all. Not at all. I blame the delay. I blame the distance between us. Yeah, I blame the planet Earth. That's right. I also blame planet Earth. I mean, if there's anyone's fault, it's the Earth from which we came. Also, Andy, you know that thing, I didn't already tell you this, but like, you know how like in the, maybe we came up with this on here, but you know how in the Genesis,

it says that they used some dust, you know, God made Adam from some dust, and then he breathed the breath of life into his nostrils. Let's hope that he brushed the teeth of life before doing that, eh? That's really nice And then and then he made Eve out of some out of a rib when he didn't have any more dust Hey, I must have ran out of dust. I don't know I He didn't have any more dust. He must have ran out of dust. I don't know. I think that would be the last thing you would have is dust when you're, you've just created a brand new planet.

You've just made it and it's covered in dust. Make better planets, Mike. It's crazy that he made dust before he made humans. Oh yeah. I won't make a heaped ton of dust. No, that's not doing it. What else does it need? Oh yeah. I know. Maybe a person to live here. A man. A man. A one man. I can make him out of this dust. What is dust? Dust is mostly like skin flakes. Where did that come from? Where did you get that from?

Oh, you just make a bunch of skin flakes. I didn't think about making skin. Anyway, let's do this. Oh, this episode's just getting somewhere. Yeah. Arr. Jum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum That's Lips at Ninus. And Andy, if that's our sort of radio names, you can be Lips. Yeah. Oh, thanks man. Thanks for listening to the Twin in the Think Tank podcast.

We've been Lips at Ninus. Yes. We love you. Bye. Sorry about the you. Bye. Sorry about the delay. Bye.