Two In The Think Tank - 495 - "GORGON STYLE"

Episode Date: September 27, 2025

Please do head to our Pozible to buy Live Show tickets, A Listener hats, and support the 500th ep. Thank you. It means the world.Organ Chat, Now Orifice - New Insult, Personified Organs, New Failure, GS, Post Mix Ejaculate, Raci-turg, Drink Wrestling, Hotdog Straw, New Town CuisineCheck out Andy's beloved, Carly, in this comedy musical at the Melbourne FringeCheck out the sketch spreadsheet by Will Runt hereAnd visit the Think Tank Institute website:Check out our comics on instagram with Peader Thomas at Pants IllustratedOrder Gustav & Henri from Andy and Pete's very own online shopYou can support the pod by chipping in to our patreon here (thank you!)Join the other TITTT scholars on the TITTT discord server hereHey, why not listen to Al's meditation/comedy podcast ShusherDon't forget TITTT Merch is now available on Red Bubble. Head over here and grab yourselves some material objectsAlasdair Tremblay-Birchall: @alasdairtb and instaAnd you can find us on the Facebook right here(Oh, and we love you) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello, Andy. Hi, Alistair. Oh, no, I forgot which voice is which. But I just wanted to promote the Two in the Thing Tank very first live show on October 11th at 12 p.m. at Humdinger Studios, which is formerly stupid old studios. Come on down. Me and Andy will do a live episode, something that you may have only ever heard us do or see us on some of the videotaped episodes. But if you come down, if you look in the links, you can see there will be a link for a possible where you can get tickets for $20, or if you get a ticket and a hat that says a listener, there is no more perfect way to show that you are a listener than having it written on a hat. You can get a ticket in a hat for $50. Oh my goodness, why not just get a ticket and then come around and there'll be hats there. And if you want a hat, you can just get a hat and try it on, see if it fits.

All right, thanks very much. We're going to start the episode and now. Okay, Al. Big Ben. Be did it be a bit... People, I'm Andy. Beardie. Hello and welcome to To In The Weekendezer Show, where we come up with five sketch ideas.

Who are you? Alistair. People, I'm Andy. And I'm Alistair George William Tromblay Berger. Alistair, people may have seen us do the podcast before. They may have even heard us do the podcast before. But what this live episode promises is the opportunity to smell us do a podcast. Oh, that's right.

And that is something you cannot put a price upon. That's right. You could try. We have. And we have tried. But I imagine the scalpers will be going nuts. You know, now that they've got this story to tell. come and smell for the very first time

these two podcasters in the same giant room you won't believe your nose the room is probably too big to smell us really properly but if you ask you really want to we'll let you

yeah we'll let you no extra charge what you say about Deus? Deus? You can approach the dais. We'll be performing from a dais.

Or is it a dais? I don't know, but do they ever refer to people as the dais or something? You know, like at a university or something like that? The dais? Or maybe it is the... I don't know. I think of it as being a little sort of central, raised area of some kind. from which you might give a speech or a sermon.

What about a central raised person? You know, maybe in a university, you know, societally raised by the societal or lofty. Red that a university degree provides, which is also almost the only thing it provides these days. Yes. Well, you know what they should do is they should print your degree on a really thick piece of paper, really thick.

You know, like a good 10 centimetres thick. Yeah. And then you can at least stand on it to, I don't know, order in bars or watch a concert, you know, something like, so that it actually gives you some advantages, some really tangible advantages. I guess 10 centimeters is pretty high. It's like a phone book. And 10 meters is pretty high. That's going to make a difference.

One piece of, one piece of paper that thick. That's all right. Isn't it crazy that they put the phone book into the phone? That's really what they did, isn't it? They did. And now you know what's going to happen. Now the phone's going to go back into that phone book. The phone's in the book.

That's the next thing. It's going to all be digital. Yeah. Well, you think there won't even be a phone. Yeah, I think it'll just be a bit of software that'll turn your ears into antennas. And your mouth will be where you play snake. Your tongue will be the tongue will be the snake. And you'll have to get it around, get it around your mouth without touching all the sides.

I mean, we all know that famous line, the phone call is coming from inside that house. The head. But soon the phone will be inside the head. I mean, imagine The phone call is coming from inside the head yet If they Sophisticate up The communication systems

Of all the parts of the body And they They manage to teach The different organs How to speak and communicate with you And then you get to hear clearly What is going on And then it's like, I'm developing

I'm developing an ulcer you know that's your stomach or something like that yeah and I and this is and this is horrible you know like maybe you're he's a bit depressive

he's a bit he's a bit fabalist this is it I'm gonna ache like instead of it would you take um your organs talking to you

over them communicating with you in the via pain via pain sort of thing Yeah. It's a really interesting question.

I think, I mean, I mean, and then basically we're turning everything into empathy, right? We're doing away with other forms of pain and we're replacing it all with empathy. And we're giving people the opportunity to hear the words of our, you know, their organs and then trust their organs. lived experience, you know, and then, and then take on board what they're saying and, you know, hopefully try and make changes. But then you'd have one night out and your stomach is like, this is far too much alcohol, far too much alcohol. This is a fatal dose.

I am not going to take this for much longer. And you're like on your second beer, and you're like, shut up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then it's like, you know, and then there's like a. I believe stomach's kind of movement. That's right. I trust what they're saying. Yeah.

Oh, and imagine like, because then would you not, because maybe you wouldn't feel bad in the hangover because you're no longer, your body no longer communicates with you via pain and discomfort. But it would be sort of whining, growing. Yeah. It's just like you're just laying there and you can just hear all the organs going, Oh, this sucks, I'm dying.

I think you could definitely do. You know how personification sketches were a big thing? I'm going to say around 20, 20, 05, 2010, that kind of era. Like, you could just get away with personifying shit as a sketch. Yeah, like all the internet companies or something like that. Yeah, exactly. Imagine if Google, Google. but in real life, that kind of thing.

But, and I've done it. We've all done it. I'm not saying it better than anybody who does a personification sketch. Imagine if all the personification sketches were people. Imagine if all the types of sketches were people. Absurdist, personification. I think you should leave style shouting sketch. Sort of jackass style

Hurting yourself sketches Yeah, this is a really good sketch idea But I think a sketch in which you go out to a party With all your organs, right? All the people that you're at the party with Are your bodily organs I think that's funny I think that's good, right?

And so there's one that's going to be black ladder, you know, he's going to be, you're going to get so many laughs out of that guy, right? There's one. Yeah, you're thinking about the laughs. Look at it already. Yeah, see, I told you. Well, what about this? It's like, it's essentially...

One's going to be penis. He's probably going to show up late in the party and really start making things go bad. I mean, do you think that there's a show... Like a show. There's already a show that's been made where, it's not set out right but all the characters were already some of the vital organs like like let's say friends yeah yeah yeah great you know like probably joey is the bladder oh i was going to say he might be the genital oh sure is that is that a vital organ

i mean the why he is it who are any of the others i guess uh i guess phoebe is the gut hey you know phoebe is the gut well she's yeah maybe i was gonna say she's like a spleen skin she's a she's a she's a spleen or she's you know because it's like there's a part of you're you're not sure what she does but you but obviously Yeah, sure. If she wasn't there, probably things wouldn't go well. It probably wouldn't be as good.

Yeah. I mean, well, there were famously there were jokes in the show about nobody knowing what Chandler Bing does for a job. Oh, yeah. So maybe he could be like the gallbladder or the sleeve or something. Certainly it would work for that joke. I don't know if we could get all 10 seasons out of this. Well, I'm just saying that they might have already done it.

Yeah, no, I. I know what you're saying. Like, you know, obviously, Jen, Jennifer Anderson is the heart. That character. She's the heart. Is she the heart of the show? Rachel. I think so.

And then Ross, he's the stomach, I think. You know, and like in all good shows, eventually you're like, will the heart and the stomach get together? Will they won't they? Will the stomach finally eat the heart? Yes. Isn't that beautiful? that's where eat your heart out comes from

right and I think he does that's what you say at the end of any good TV sitcom I've never understood what that meant eat your heart out

eat your heart out eat your heart out what does it mean okay so it's being jealous right like you should be jealous of me and the way that you will

express that is by eating your heart out Okay, wait, you're jealous of me. But are you actually, are you eating your heart? Yeah. Or are you just eating it out? Like, are you just chewing around your chest? Yeah.

Right? To expose your heart. So it can fall out. I forgot what the... With jealousy. Oh, yeah. No, no. I've got it.

And do you have to have some ribs removed so that you can eat your heart out, you know, so that you can bend around sufficiently in order to... Getting sick. some neck vertebraes out getting the whole top part of my spine up right so that you've just got a truly floppy neck yeah dangling neck i think it's the only way you could actually bite your own heart yeah i mean i'm jealous of that yeah you know if you could do that oh mate if i could bite my own heart then uh you probably wouldn't see me out in the world because i'll just be at home biting my own heart

I Yeah I told you about that that Russian fighter who who was fighting Connor McGregor and they had

gotten a very big you know Connor had talked a lot of shit and and then after Habib kicked his ass kicked Connor's ass

he talked about how angry he was that he had wanted to bite his heart wow he's like I wanted to bite his heart I didn't want him to just tap

I wanted to bite his heart That's beautiful Yeah But he also made fun of him He's like How could you tap in front of all your people How could you tap in front of all your people Go to sleep man

Hmm Was this like Because Connor was sort of Quite big and on the top of his game for a while With this Like at that period Was this sort of a ding of his... Yeah, he was still very big, and this was probably his, the real beginning of the dissent.

I think he had probably lost a fight to Nate Diaz beforehand, and that was when people were like, oh yeah, he's absolutely human and beatable, which happens to all of them, except for... Isn't it great that people can tune into this podcast and get a little bit of UFC? Yeah, we can do what Rogan does. Exactly. We dabble. You don't need that. You don't need to go there to get that.

We can give it to you right here sometimes. Yeah, you don't need something that installs fascist regimes. You can come to something that barely blips, barely blips anything. I don't think we've had a role in any regime changes globally. We couldn't get the president on. We couldn't even get. our boss, who we wrote comedy with, to come on. We were too scared to ask him.

Well, no, we did ask him once. And then he said no, because he had just done another podcast. Did we really ask him? Yeah, one time we asked him. And then he was like, oh, not right now. I've just done a podcast or something like that. And he was like, okay. I can't believe we ask him.

I assumed... It was via email. My internal narrative was that we were just too much, scared little boys. Well, Andy, I want you to know your internal narrative is way better than the reality. We were just regular grade failures. Yeah, regular grade.

You know, it turns out that you can fail. What is it? The only failure is not to try. Yeah. It turns out you can try and also fail. Yeah. There's still another kind of failure.

That's the other kind of failure. The other, I forgot about that one. I didn't mention it. It's actually, we've discovered actually seven types of failure that had recent, scientists hadn't actually, like, biologists and scientists hadn't ever seen. And we didn't even have to go to the bottom of the ocean, but we did, we did stoop pretty low. We just had to listen to two in the think tank podcast. Yeah.

Imagine that. Imagine scientists. analyze your podcast and they discover new types of failure. It's like when they go to Tasmania and they like, I had a friend in Tasmania who was an entomologist, whichever the one is that studies bugs, and they would go down there, right, and they would go to just like one fern in the rainforest, right? Just one individual fern. And they basically, they put a plastic bag over this.

fern, okay, and then they pump gas in there, and they kill every bug in that fern, and all the bugs just fall out onto a sheet on the ground. You'd think some of them... And they were just find new species in every... Between leaves. Fucking fern.

No, they all fall out. They crawl to the tip of a frond to die. And then they fall. They're like the opposite of a dog that will go and, like, hide somewhere, like under a house or something like that. These ones are like, I want to be seen. I feel terrible. I'm suffocating. Somebody look at me. A bird take me, maybe.

I've lived my whole life in this fern, thinking that one day I would go out and see the world. Well, now it's too late, and I'm going to take this opportunity to go to the tip of a frond. Maybe that was the episode, Fronds. Fron. And they're all the different parts of a leaf. Should we reveal the true context of this episode to the listeners? Speaking of new types of failure that we have just come off the back of recording a full episode of two in the think tank. And then my computer shut down to install updates without telling anybody.

And we lost my whole half of the... Yeah. but you know what I can give you guys I can give you guys some of the some of the best bits um read out the sketch idea some of the sketch ideas we got blooding out piss

you know you've heard of pissing out blood well what if you get a cut on your on your bladder and then this thick yellow piss syrup it comes out and then kind of hardens

and creates a piss scab and then in that we did talk about we did talk a little I mean it's good it's good that piss can't form scabs right because I imagine that in the end of your he-hole would be scabbing over all the time yeah that's good it's good that there's no clotting agent in there but also if piss

piss scabs were a thing what a good insult you know yeah to calling somebody a piss scab I think you could still call somebody a piss scam. I know you can, but I wonder if it has the same... Yeah. Oh, that's right. They'll be like, oh, yes, the realm of fiction.

Well, that doesn't bother me as much. I'm more of a... I'm a realist. I'm a realist. I'm a non-fiction guy. Yeah. Give me an insult from a... from a billionaire's book.

What I think we might need is a kind of a government. Institute or a body that develops new bodily fluids and orifices to form the basis of new non-fiction insults. Okay, yeah. So wait, it creates a body. Oh, body's a perfect thing for creating new liquids. Oh, I mean, what could be better? A government body, does it have curves?

This government body, if I told you you have, you have. a beautiful government body, would you hold a public hearing? Mm, against me? Oh, public hearing. They probably need a big ear for that. Public hearing. I what, hear the whole public? Well, no, but, you know, the body should have an ear.

It should have a very big ear, yes. We also had written down, Andy, gorgon style, which was when we discussed how the Medusa is a gorgon and how she couldn't look at herself, because when she did she turned to stone, but then also therefore mustn't be able to look at other gorgons without turning to stone, which means that when they reproduce, they mustn't be able to be very intimate about it and look at each other in the eyes. and so they probably have to hit it from the back. No looking around, no sneaking a peek. No sneaking a peek. That's Gorgon style. It's right. So it's like doggie style,

but you'll probably keep your eyes closed just to be careful. Yeah. Yeah. But then that's probably also good because if it's like, you know, if there was the risk that there would be like a bit like spiders or whatever, I don't know what the Gorgon's do, but where the female might try to eat the male afterwards, the fact that her eyes are closed,

that might be helpful, because I guess she doesn't want to... Give you a chance. Yeah, it tries to get away, but also she probably doesn't want to turn her food into stone before going. And does she have to feed all those snakes as well? That's a good question. Do the snakes have their own digestive systems? Well, they've got mouths. Snakes need to eat, or do they poop straight into her head?

Is there a brain full of snake poop? Oh, that's right. And it all started because I was looking through a, anyway, and I found a thing about, I'd found a sort of a one-liner type thing that was me questioning whether or not the Medusa had snake nipple hairs. Yeah. An important, one of the important questions, like peeps. Yeah, I mean, people always ask, does the carpet match the drapes? But what, in that context, what is the, what are the nipple hairs? Lampside. The lampshade.

Do the tassels on the lampshade? Yeah. I think maybe one other thing that we had here, which was, we had a shirt with emphysema. This is a shirt that is breathable, but it doesn't breathe that well. It doesn't breathe that great. Yeah. See, this was a good episode, Alistair. Yeah, okay.

Well, you know... Can we write these down again? Yeah, I can definitely write these down again. You know, I'll write Gorgon-style. I mean, it's technically an odd-lot idea. Opa-Gurgan style. And, you know... But then there was some long discussions about

this rock-paper-cissors method of relationships that I don't think we quite nailed, and so... No, but it was interesting. I'll tell you also what we haven't re-mentioned, and I would hate to lose that, this to the tides of time, is when we were talking about piss syrup, the idea that maybe the urinary system is a sort of a post-mixed system where the syrup from the bladder is mixed at the last minute with...

What did you call the fluid? Well, with squirt, I'd call it squirt. Because, you know, some people say that's, you know, like when there's female ejaculation, but then I've also... seen one video where I think that there was a possibility that guys can also squirt in a different way. But, I mean, that's huge. If that, a huge, if true. Yeah.

But that whether or not that squirt, because, you know, some people have analyzed it and they're like, we think it actually is piss. But then, but maybe that it's a post-mixed system where piss is stored initially in a syrup. and then it's mixed with this squirt at the end for, you know, to carry all the piss out. And so that's why they would think that squirt is piss because there's squirt in piss. And this is why I am trying to start the discussion point that it's not that female ejaculation isn't real. It's that male urination isn't real. That's right. Male urine is actually just female.

ejaculate. That's right. As a feminist, that's what I believe. Yes, I think that's beautiful. And also, it just made it be realized, I think because our prostate does have prosthetic fluid that carries out the sperm, I think ejaculate is post-mix. It is. Oh, my God. It's a post-mix system. Yeah. But you know what? I think it's actually best out of a glass bottle. Thank you, I agree You can't I'm sorry

But you can't beat it There's something about There's something about Holding that glass bottle in your hand That's funny, Alistair Can you write that down Ejaculate is post mix Yeah, I think so

And I mean We spent a lot of time on the on the defunct never to be released episode talking about our dreams of becoming one-liner comedians oh yeah i genuinely is the only thing that matters yes this is close um yeah glass bottle great that's really cool grow great i don't want to be a one-liner comedian i want to be a one-liner politician one-liner theater theater maker Dramaturg. We don't use the erg suffix on many other professions.

Yeah, because I just found out that ard is one that means like, the suffix means something like too much of. Like drunkard, wizard. Yeah, wizard. It's too much. Too much. Too much whiz. Yeah. Too much whiz.

Which it does actually kind of make sense once you hear it like that. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, he's just a guy with too much whiz. Do you think that the first wizard, there was a bloke, walking around, turning people into frogs, rending the fabric of reality between his very fingertips? And do you think that? The general consensus from the community was that bloke has too much whiz.

Who's this wizard? This man who is full of whiz, absolutely whizzed up to the... And so then I guess a wizard would be somebody who studies the... who provides a sort of a master of it but yeah grounding yeah good knowledge of and can guide you through the whiz

in developing your own whiz yeah I guess so yeah you don't get a lot of erg like you know engineer I think I think a lot of these like

these right-wing agitators, you know, your podcast people, you're, you know, those people who are out there sort of working up the, sort of the, oh, fucking hell, Andy, finish the sentence. The, what they would consider, they're sort of their talking points, the racist talking point. Sure, right? they are they are racergs i think that they um a lot of people have have an idea for something racist that they want to say but they haven't done the work to come up with a just a plausible

sounding justification that will um allow them to uh be part of the mainstream discourse right and so you can go to these guys on can say i sort of don't like this group but i can't really put but you're words why I don't like them. Can you give me some stereotypes that maybe I can, I could, I could, you know, maybe use in some sort of comments as I walk past them. That's right. Yeah. And I want to feel, I don't want to feel just like a scared, weird little guy.

I want to feel like a sort of a conservative warrior. Is there a way that you could sort of, sort of, work that up into something and they'll do their race erg um in yeah uh race wait wait isn't it dramaturgy so maybe it's like they'll just do their there it is raseergy exactly yeah i mean her dramaturg is that right yeah let's where's the tea come from or maybe the turg maybe it's full tur the turg is the son of a mighty turd the erg racer turg racer turg yeah i don't know that's cool though i've written down racerg you know i think that's some i mean that's that is what it is that's what that's what a big

part of the podcast sphere is people engaging in racer turgy yeah i think that there's also just like I think, you know, when you hear about that guy with the Beanie who was getting $100,000 an episode from Russia or whatever. Yeah. You go, if there is so much money for you to just say

shit, it doesn't really matter what you just, you just riff for a bit, you'll find some awful things to say about groups of people, you know? Mm-hmm. And then you're doing so much content that you'll refine you'll refine your new points about it.

Totally. Over time. For sure, baby. You know, you'll find new things about Ukrainians to say or whatever, you know? Mm. Do you think that they could ever, I just, because like, I think that, you know, I told you about this thing about how, like, Ukraine pronounced in Ukrainian is actually beautiful. It's like, it's like Okarina or something like that, you know? Yeah.

It sounds something like that. And you go, I reckon even those guys that'd find a way of hating that. They go, oh, and they think that it's pronounced some beautiful way. It's actually, it's Ukraine that matches what the actual country is like. Oh, absolutely they would.

And, you know, I mean, I mean, that basically is what the people who are angry about us, you know, are using indigenous place names for, for locations around Australia. That's what they're basically doing. They're like,

ah, no, we know what it's called. Yeah. You people who have lived here for all this time before thousands of years, that whole time, it's crazy that you were getting the name of Melbourne wrong. It's actually called Melbourne. Yeah.

You didn't even know that. I found out that Zeeland is in Holland. Regular Zealand. Regular Zealand. I mean, you've been to Holland recently. Would you say that it puts you in mind of New Zealand? You know what? There's a fair bit of greenery.

A fair bit of water. Okay. Yeah, all right. Big rich people's houses in the area I was staying. Really? Yeah. And I know that at least the price for houses is high in New Zealand, which I think would almost match up. Well, there you go.

So do you think that when people, when settlers arrived in New Zealand, they said, you know what, the house prices aren't high here now, but I can imagine them really getting out of control. Exactly. We should name it in honour of. Regular Zealand. Regular Zealand. But so is that just like a region? Is that like a suburb? Yeah, I've told you everything that I know.

I've told you everything I know. I'm sorry. Literally a guy who is driving me towards the airport said, you know, Zealand, that's in Holland. And I went, all right, I'm storing that away. Yeah. Meanwhile, I was just telling him, I was like, man, I can barely look at the words in your language. Like, it's just, I just can't, I just, I can't take anything in.

Right, because of the upsetting. combinations of letters. Yeah. Right? You're seeing them being jammed together. Here's something that I think that would be annoying for them. You should never be combined. Something that would be annoying for the Holland days people is that...

Is that what they call themselves? I don't know. I, you know, just because... No, no, I mean, that was a joke, but the, you know, our listener, Lars, who had, who I met in Holland. It told me that Dutch, Dutch doesn't necessarily represent all the people in Holland. It's like a part of the country, yeah. But I don't know what the other thing. And then he's also saying, like, Dutch is basically just means Deutsch, which is Germans. Oh, I mean, that makes a huge amount of sense. Yeah. But, you know what, this would be very annoying to the, to the people of

Holland is that the two O's, right, when they would hear English people try to say their words like, you know, like the one that's like Stroop waffle, right, which is those waffles with the caramel in the middle, is that they don't pronounce the double O as an U. They go like, Stroop, like, it's like, oh. So it's like, I met a guy whose name was J-O-O-S-T. I think his name was basically. J-O-O-S-T. host host host hoist it's like like ghost okay host so you're like oh so then we show up there and we're like oh i love your

i love your stroop waffle hoost or juiced like that and then they're like oh my heart my heart bleeds yeah well um um my heart is scab i'd like to apologize just scabbing up to apologize yeah Andy, look, since we read some stuff from the last episode, and we kind of really shortened the amount of time that we need to do in this episode due to the amount of work that we did before this episode, shall we just go into three words from a listener? I think that would be the kind thing to do. Well, I'm now anxious that I've said something offensive at some point

in our conversation on any of these topics. For some reason, I'm now like, edge. Yeah, but what have I said? What is there to say? That would be negative. I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know. Yeah, I don't think you have. But I think it's good to vocalize any anxiety that you might have because I think that I can, you know, unpick it a little bit. Yep. So our three words from a listener today come from Stuart Mack. Also known as Stu Mac, the Macaroni Prince. The Mac dog, the Big Mac. Macaroni Prince Attorney.

Yeah. The Mac attack. And he says, three words from me, Stu Mac, a listener of this very podcast. And so I think he's saying that he is the listener that is the three words are from.

Yeah. I, I, you know what? That, to me, that sounds watertight. Yeah, great. Like a, like a Dutch, dam. Yeah, of course. So much water there.

Is Zeeland, does that literally just mean sea land? And does that mean just like land that should be sea? That morally speaking is actually ocean. In all, yeah, for all intense purposes is the ocean, is the sea. Yeah. I mean, yeah, I think a lot of the words

are very similar like that. I was asking a guy at the catering what kind of meat this was that I really tell you this as a kind of joke but he was like he's like my English is not so good but he was like coo and I was like

cow? He's like no no no coo and then he shows me a photo of a cow and I go yeah that's a cow he goes no no no and he shows me another picture of a different cow and I go yeah that's a cow he goes oh cow yeah Oh, that's great.

It's great. No, it's cool. It couldn't possibly be cow. I mean, my English is not good. That's a huge... That's ridiculous. No, good. Good, good, good.

And so, okay, now that means that we've got three words. You've got to guess what they are. Do you want to start with the first word? Ah, yes. I'll start with the first word, and the first word is stitching. Stitching. Oh, no, but you almost have a tea in the right place. The

first word is hot dog. Hot dog. Okay. Andy can see a pattern. A pattern. A pattern is emerging. Well, I think this is going to be a riff on hot dog eating competition. Okay. Right? And so

I think this is going to be hot dog shitting. Hot dog shitting. Oh, you You've got some of the letters correct. The second word is in. Oh my God. Hot dog in. Okay.

So like hot dog in bun, right? It's not going to be that. Hot dog in soup? That's a good image. I think, and it's kind of close, Andy. It's in tankard. Tankard. Tankard.

Tankard. No, it's a form of drink wear consisting of a large roughly cylindrical drinking cup with a single handle. I mean, we should be releasing mugs that are the two in the think tankard. If there's any justice. And you know what?

There should be a handle on each side. Yeah. Right? So that you... Can trick it with your beloved. And this is a new kind of contest... No, no, you wrestle. Oh, yes.

It's a new kind of contested drinking, basically. Oh. who have grasped the handle on each side and whoever can sip the most liquid without spilling it. And you know how they do it? It's a type of drink wrestling, right? Yeah.

And at the end, you've got to strip down and they weigh you afterwards. They weigh you before as well. I think you've got to strip down and you do the whole thing naked. Well, you've got to... Okay, but you get to sit in a booth. Okay.

You get to sit in a booth. in a booth and but they do dry you off at the end so it also it also hurts your chances if you sweat more yeah don't sweat too much when you wrestle for the vessel in the two and the think tankard uh cup cup off um then you know that's i mean that often the trophies are cups that had a handle on both sides, aren't they? I mean... Wait, say that again? Your trophy for a competition is very often a cup with a handle on both sides.

Yeah. I mean, why save that for the end of the competition? That should be the competition. That's right. This should be the competition. It's a... It's a... It's a tandem cup.

Exactly. in a drinking cup built for two they should also have one like that they should have a different category which isn't just you know about head positioning and torsion power and pulling and stuff like that

they should do one that is just straw based wow and it's just slurping And it's just who can slurping, but it's also, you know, straw technique, and you can sort of maybe move their straw with your straw. Oh, wow, yeah. You know, I mean, some people will just go focus on their own game and stuff like that.

I think that this should be the new tiebreaker for the football world cup, right? Get the cup involved. Instead of going into sudden death extra time. Exactly. Put the cup in between the two captains. Give them both a straw and get them slurping. Yeah. Slurp category. Oh, and there should be a dog bowl category. Yes. You know? You do you know? So it's a shallow dish. Yeah, you get down there with your tongues. Yeah. And maybe even, I mean, look, maybe this is too much. I was going to say your hands tied behind your back.

But then I guess there's a risk that somebody can sort of get on topy and push your face into the bowl. Yeah, that sounds a bit undignified for the final round of the beautiful game, the world game. I mean, look, we're close to a, to a, you know, a drinking Olympics here. We've got three. This has almost got as many sports as the Winter Olympics. We've got three. they've only got like 13 really clear distinct sports and I think there's multiple types of skiing in there

I think yeah that's true they really padded it out with some extra types of skiing yeah I mean I think some liquid that is thrown in the air that you got to catch in your mouth that would be something too but I don't know exactly how that would work yet a liquid that you throw in the air

you know how that with your mouth This is probably the greatest thing in water technology over the last 25 years or so. You know, you see some of those fountains. You know, they go to like a casino or something like that or like a mall and they got a fancy fountain and they can squirt out a ball of water. You seen this? I don't know if I've seen that.

They can squirt a ball of water, Andy. They even do it at the museum. At the Melbourne Museum, there's those frogs outside, but you've got to go. They're outside, but you've got to go through. through the thing. It's a kid waterplay area. It's kind of close to where they got, they got the bubbles. Hey? They got the bubbles where the bubbles can go through the like the different thicknesses of liquids and you can see how fast they go through.

Anyway, that's a different thing. But they got these turtles. No, no, they got these frogs. They can squirt a ball. A ball of liquid. I don't know how the ball stays together, Andy, but it's some of the best technology bit that would be the best kind of thing to be catching into your mouth, you know? Okay, so we have hot dog in tankard. Yeah, yeah, sorry, okay. Hot dog in tankard, okay. I mean, it feels like, you know, a hot dog would be a great thing to stir a soup.

I mean, a tankard of soup. You stir with a hot dog. That's right. And you're dipping it in, you're sucking the soup off the dog. You could even, you could probably, you could probably, you could probably, even stick a skewer down the center, pull it out, drink soup through this

hot dog. This is exactly what I was about to suggest, Alistair. They should make a cylindrical hot dog, all right? One that is, maybe it's, you know, maybe it's like Dagwood dog style cooked on a stick. Right? And then you pull the stick

out and you've got this beautiful what should we call it? Maybe a urethra down the center And you know it would be great, too, what would be really great is it's a cheese cransky. So that first slurp is all liquid cheese, right? And then the more you drink, you're getting, now you're starting to get the soup and mix within the cheese as well. Oh, God. It's good.

But you know, you know why this is good, Andy? Is that nobody's creating new culinary food. Like, I mean, they're creating foods. But everybody's like. Come here, get some Get some Japanese. Here, come here, get some Mexican. Nobody's creating new culture

And it's like, like, I think that a... Come here, get something you've never seen before anywhere on Earth. Drink a hot bouillon with a hot dog that you create the urethra in it yourself. Freshly... And you think about that, like, especially if it was like a strong... that you put through it.

Like that, like a big metal straw, and then you pull it out. Yeah. Then you get to eat the metal, the hot dog, the mini hot dog that's now inside the straw. You know what I mean? That meat that's maybe trapped inside the hot dog.

Yeah, like you're picturing it like a sort of like an apple core kind of straw thing. That's exactly. You're plunged down the center of the hot dog. I mean, it sounds hard to do. Oh, I know, but not, maybe I'm wrong.

These are good quality. practicalities these are good quality solid firm hot dogs yeah that were and and just think of all the different broths and soups you could have in there you know oh absolutely all this day you get to pick your broth you get to pick your your dog you know and that's is that you could pick like a traditional kind of like german meal right obviously i'm trying to create new new cuisines but sometimes we will have traditional night and you know it'll be like a potato soup kind of like you know

like a boiled potato soup with a sourcrap kind of you know that's also been boiled and blend imagine the imagine the feeling of that soul bling up because he can't you were able to get the cabbage through the sausage

no chunks yeah no chunks blend it all down it's a puree but it's got that sour from the sour Crout and it's got that pot from the potato You know And I think like

It's a restaurant called New Cuisines And you're going to eat stuff in ways you've never eaten it before Hot Dog soup through a hot dog straw Drunk from a tankard Tankard tankard Drain the main vein That's what the meal's called Drain the Chau-Main vein

What is Chow-Main? It's, I think, probably like an American Chinese dish, you know, Chinese-American dish, you know, that's not a soup then. That's a shame. I think, I think it's like, you know, it's like fried. I think it's probably like sprouts in it, you know, those sprouts. All right, okay, that's going to be very hard to slurp up. They're thin enough, and they're all placed in an array.

In a line. In a line. You can do a line of them. Yeah. If you tied one end to the back end. Oh yeah. Tied one end to the back end. Yep.

They're lashed together in a sequence. Alistair, no one could deny that we have absolutely delivered our promise of an episode. Andy, I think that this is a superior episode to the last one. I disagree. But, but. But that's okay. Do you need the other ideas that we had, which was bringing libertarianism into the relationship?

Ah, yes, with your beloved. Yeah, and say, I'm bringing in individualism. I think we need to all. It's free speech and every man for himself. Yeah, I think that's nice. I love those vows, those wedding vows, the libertarian wedding vows. I vow to do what I want

when I want and screw you if you can't handle it The Libertarian Librarian Um Every book for themselves Make as much noise as you like

Put the books back anywhere When they hear you talk they go Shit yeah I love hearing free speech any other ideas anything else you want to we also had written down let's see

no we hadn't actually I'd mentioned the thing about the rock paper scissors relationship with the third genital so one one has sex with one person but can only have sex like one has sex to

the other person I think we had to be arguments. Maybe let's not do the arguments. Let's go with the arguments. One argues with one person. Let's say the woman argues with the man and always defeats him. And then the man always argues with this third member, this third gender. With a third unique genital and always defeats them. And then the person with the third unique genital always defeats the woman in arguments. And, but it's difficult to lose to one person, but you balance it out by winning. and, uh, you know, and it's, it's, it's, it's, it's own kind of balance. It's its own kind of justice. Yes. It achieves homeostasis. It's a closed ecosystem. Perfect ecosystem. Is this a good sketch idea? But it's something. Everything is kept in check. Everything is very much in

check. Um, Andy, I think we should wrap up the episode. So I take us through the sketch ideas. Oh, Alistair, I wish you would. We've got getting my organs to talk to me instead of pain. It's a, it's a, it's a new system that you can bring in and they moan a lot and they complain and stuff like that and you go maybe I'm going to go back to pain I'll tell you what this is a real pain in the neck

sorry my stomach has been a real pain in the neck recently then we've got the body oh a government body that creates new liquids and orifices so that we can create new insults um then we've got

muscle won't shut up. I'm sorry, my stomach is rumbling. He's annoyed with me for eating that chilly last night. Discovering, oh, wait, we've got discovering new types of failure by listening, people have discovered new types of failure by listening to your podcast and or life. Oh, we've got the organs as characters coming with you to a meal or something like that. I don't know. That was something. Then we've got Gorgon style.

Then we've got ejaculate as post mix. Better in a glass bottle. We got Rayserg. We got drink wrestling with at least three events, maybe four, including one with the fantastic water ball, flying water ball. One of the most beautiful developments in water squirting technology. And we've got the. sausage in a mug of soup

the beginning of new cuisines you know what I think is that Australia and I think probably all places need but particularly Australia maybe I probably Canada needs some kind of ambitious Prime Minister

or Premier who is willing to start a huge campaign where we try to get a famous local meal in every town right and that's a really good idea and people all make uh meals for each other in this kind of town for like a year yeah and then they vote on what they think is the best meal that they would all love to represent this town and then put their names and faces to yeah and stand behind and that the local restaurants then all try and do like then

the next step is they all do a version of it that, you know, that they, you know, and it's a reason to travel from town to town. Yes. To go there and try their local meal that they all voted was the best meal in town. Mm-hmm. You know, and then I also think that they should also make all the bus stops more unique. I think each town, you know, I think every town needs to. just be a little bit weirder.

Give us a reason to go there and photograph the bus stops and, you know, look at your weird things.

I want there to be more weird things. Let and eat your weird meals on your weird park benches. I don't think they should call them

bus stops. I think they should call them bus commas. And I think they should call the depot. The bus. Full stop.

That's right. The bus. That's right. and they know thank you and they should call the stops that buses make at traffic lights bus hyphens because actually you're not done oh completely agree yes and um alice should we do the song yes let's do it and let's do it I love music. I live too. I'm a music.

Alice there. I'd just like to lend my, um, lend my voice. Yes. To what you said at the start of the episode. I thought I heard you at the beginning. Um,

call out to get people to come to the live episode. Smell to in the think tank being recorded at Humdinger, aka previously known. stupid old studios on the 11th of October. Go to the Possible page that is in the show notes there. Thank you to everybody who has already board a ticket. My lord. We have reached the target in which the money will then come to us.

And now anything more is just a bonus. It's really the possible amount has only just covering the price of the hats that I pay to manufacture the hats. We're about to break even On just the hats And then I've still paid $3,000 to come over to Australia Not that that is anybody else's responsibility But mine But any little bit that you guys

Do to if you just come to the thing I'm trying to not ask for anything That is like More than exchanging for a service or a hat The service being us doing a live podcast And you get to smell us Correct And I couldn't have put a better myself, Alice

So what a beautiful... I've spent so much whatever it was you were trying to say just then. Well, it's just nice that we've reached this goal and that buying these hats was not all in vain.

Exactly. Exactly. The main vein. It was not in Maine. Are we going to end it on that? I'm so sorry. And we love... Love you.

Thank you so much. Orvoir.