Two In The Think Tank - 498 - "NOT WITH THAT ALTITUDE"

Episode Date: October 26, 2025

This podcast was recorded on the road.Sexy Fly, Gumam Being, Hairy Bacon Job, Schneider Cut, Rooster Chicken, Privatising Clouds, Pissing Beer, Bad Altitude, Car Black Box, Sludge Couch, Oozy UziYou can now purchase A Listener hats by emailing [e-mail] up on the 500th episode hereCheck out the sketch spreadsheet by Will Runt hereAnd visit the Think Tank Institute website:Check out our comics on instagram with Peader Thomas at Pants IllustratedOrder Gustav & Henri from Andy and Pete's very own online shopYou can support the pod by chipping in to our patreon here (thank you!)Join the other TITTT scholars on the TITTT discord server hereHey, why not listen to Al's meditation/comedy podcast ShusherAlasdair Tremblay-Birchall: @alasdairtb and instaAnd you can find us on the Facebook right here(Oh, and we love you) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Every bank is a wake bang, give you a wank inside a bank. Every bank is a wake bang, give you wank inside a bank. Hello, and welcome to Two in the Think Dang, the show where we come up with five sketch ideas. I'm Andy. And I'm Alistair George William Trombly Virtual. And this is the Alpine Edition. Alpine Trombly Virtual. This is the, this could be Australia's most elevated.

podcast. We are currently in the sort of Manaro region of Australia near Kuma, driving through the mountains, through the great dividing range, while I go see my Nana. Yes. I am briefly in Australia.

Hey, if you... I know this is an episode that comes out before the 500th, but we have recorded the 500th episode. You can go check it out on the Humdinger YouTube page. Yes. And we'll be... 22 and a half hour. hours or something of podcasting.

That's right. 500 sketch ideas. Over 20 guests. It's a, it's, you know, it's an interesting experiment. It's everything you would want out of a 22 and a half hour podcast. Yeah.

It's everything and so much more than you would want. Yeah. It's like, it goes well beyond what you would want. Yeah. Very much into the territory of things that you would not want. But if that sounds like the sort of thing you want, well, then this is what, you this is what you want and so we're recording these a little bit differently today so the sound

will be a little bit different maybe even better maybe so much better yeah i'm excited for you guys to get to listen to the sound the audio quality on this oh yeah most other podcasts are recorded at c level but we don't do that we don't do that this is at fucking a level mate we are what is it well on c level oh is a tiny bird okay this may be the first podcast that actively kills animals. Yeah. It's recording. Yes.

It could also be the first one that actively kills us. Yes. So, um, Andy. Yeah, mate. We're, we're here to come up with sketch ideas. Mm-hmm. On the road. On the road again.

On the road once more. Um, okay, so. What about this? Yeah. Right? Why are they always putting... Why are they always putting up signs to tell us? where the animals are crossing the road

why they put up a few fucking signs for the wombats say how about there's cars yeah yep yep I mean next next 10 hundred kilometers yeah and so they've tried doing that

they've tried doing that didn't work I was thinking that maybe they could breed you know how they're like always yeah trying to make they'll breed some mosquitoes, right? Yeah. And you've been involved

in this process, Alistair. Yes, the breeding of mosquitoes, of course. Yes. I donated my blood to it. I let them bite me. Well, you didn't donate it, did you? You know, because you got money. Or you got gift vouchers.

Don't you always get something when you donate money and get a cookie and stuff? In fact, that's not why you're doing it. Hey? How do you know? Try. Try and prove that. That's not why I'm doing it.

Prove it. Prove it. Prove it. A really old blue stone bring house. You're on the... Up on the very... We're top of this fucking range. It's almost...

Top of the range. It's like top of the range house, that one there right there. Absolutely. We're going past the sign for Tumba Rumba. What do they call it a mountain range? They all look the fucking same to me. Yeah.

Not much range, mate. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, up and down. That's it. That's all they got. I want to see a side-to-side mountain. Mountain Limited, that's what I call it. Yeah.

left turn up here oh here we go um yeah um i think they should breed uh you know because they're always breeding these mosquitoes and they're like oh we're gonna breed a mosquito that like that it goes out and this mosquito mosquito is so sexy the other mosquitoes aren't going to be able to resist it they're all going to have sex with it yeah and then they're going to get some sort of mosquito disease and it'll stop

it'll ruin the mosquito population or something like that right i mean what they really should do is they should do that they should try and breed such a sexy mosquito that all the other mosquitoes fight over the chance to make love to this mosquito and they all kill them kill each other yeah okay so imagine how gorgeous this mosquito would be letting you know there's cows just off the side of the road those aren't cows those are highland horses make oh really yeah yeah they're highland horses they look a lot like cows yeah they're very just regular wild there's nice be Mustangs. Oh,

little, four, Brumbies. Brumbies. Okay. All right. So wait, what about,

what about this? It's like, it's the same thing. Yes. But it's a, it's a, it brought a fly to look like a hot mosquito.

Right? Okay. And, but they've made, is it a pretty fly? Like, yeah, for,

like, but it's, but only if you're a mosquito, will you find a pretty? Yeah, great. And... Pretty fly for a wife. And I, they basically made like it's breeding receptacle.

It's sort of poison for... You know, it's got fly stuff in there. It's got poop. Yeah, great. It's got things like that. They're regular mosquitoes. They don't have the defenses for. Yeah, fly poop.

That's right. and she's really hard to catch but irresistible but very easy to want oh my gosh very wantable and and it just and she you know she gives off that um pheromones that that carbon dioxide that oh that extracts in the swedos so much drives them absolutely well so they're like I want to both breed with this. I want to bite this and suck its blood out. Yeah. Like that?

Oh, maybe that's it. You know, like, I don't know if flies have the same thing as bees, but you know, like, bees have those little, like, pouches for pollen on their legs. And this is a fly that's got little pouches for all the poop that it lands on. Like that. And then it lets them bite them. Okay. Yeah.

And if it does catch it. And then they just suck up, just shit. into their food hole instead of flying sure like that and then they're like oh fuck that was shit now and i just want to check this sexy fly does it have big boobs um yes because we also wanted to be attractive to the scientists so that they want to work on more i think that's great i i think that like in the because you know these these movies they always have to tell a a cautionary tale about about science and playing god and i think the risk is that we're like we were trying to make a mosquito that was so sexy a fly that was so sexy to mosquitoes but of course we are looking at that

fly through our human filters yeah and what we and it turns out we just made a fly that was really sexy to humans okay and all every and you know there's this basically uh it's it's so attractive, it, you know, destroys humanity, society. Absolutely. In our hubris, which, by the way, hubris, what a beautiful name for a car. Don't you think? Can you imagine just climbing into our... Akea hubris?

Yes, I can. And this would be the first car that's wider than it is long, I think. Oh, that's a great thing. It's like a flounder car. A chode car. Oh, yeah. That's what I meant to say. It's also

Yeah, it's like a flounder car It's also got the windscreen on the top Oh Wait, oh yeah, it's a car Yeah, I forgot, okay I thought it was a chode I forgot We were just riding a big dick

Big wide dick Oh Riding a big white dick Can you write down the wide car Oh, yeah Oh actually no I think we might have already Come up with a really wide car

Once before Really The first limousine But it's I think it was a guy Coming in to to like pitch the limousine or whatever yeah but it was really why he had quite worked out the yeah which direction in which worked out the kinks in which to in which to stretch that limo oh what's that

saying that was just me probably driving wildly LDA unavailable LDA oh no not my LDA there will this podcast will also incorporate periodic updates about the warning signals that are popping up on the uh dashboard of the car that's right um if you want a sort of a little idea of what's around we're looking at a lot of pretty dead trees but then some younger living ones a lot of gray trees with no leaves but then there's sort of some gum young young gums young gums um oh we're at 1500 meters of elevation now this is the most elevated pot in Australia in Australia right now oh they're they're climbing up the podcast um charts vertically vertically altitudinally um all right alliterians uh yeah we we we we we we we we we we we we

we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we yeah we we we we we we we yeah we we we we we we we we we're um uh humans that I like gum trees where if you get burned Oh yeah You know Say your arms Burn off Yeah

You just grow a whole lot of really small arms Yeah Sort of up and down your legs Yep Nature is healing I mean And like I would say that burns victim comedy

It's probably one of the hardest Yeah Difficulty styles of your Yeah Yeah but Let's say you just You just start by burning yourself on the stove a little bit. Yeah, exactly right.

Right, right? Maybe you just burn a finger or two off. That's right. Well, not off. No, not off. Yeah. Just burn. Just a lot.

I mean, it can just be a little burn. Okay. Perfect. And then it starts your, you're, so then your finger starts to grow some tiny little fingers, maybe a little hand, an arm, maybe maybe another little face. like like a gum tree would right and then and then you've got yourself a little man then we can have another little man sketch oh perfect right so you sort of grow a whole little man yeah well all the bits of a man you grow the trunk oh the finger the finger is the trunk that's right and so then

and then you got a little man and he looks just like you and he talks to you and he says hey andy slow down with that slow to you're driving too fast you're like I haven't even taken off and go oh I'm getting I'm feeling sick in my gut

Andy and then you're like trying to put him you just put him in a bucket of water I do like that oh you drown him no you just show him who's boss you take him out after a little bit yeah no I think that's really good and I like I like that this little guy

who grows off me calls me Andy something about that makes me feel kind of important and that these little guys have to kind of beg me to to do

what they need me to do yeah yeah yeah because you are the boss they don't control anything except for their own limbs and then of course if there are enough of them all over my body they could sort of some kind of mutiny

while I'm sleeping I still don't think that they can or maybe they could work together maybe they could maybe like they're tiny little limbs they all sort of gather up around my neck somehow they could when I sleep and spring each other stuff pass each other stuff like maybe gather lint from the blanket like the make a big rope to choke you with get you in a choke hold yeah you know maybe like a yeah like they make a rope that they can pull tight by working together and then try to tame you and then as a as a oh they tame me they get a they get a sort of a leash around my neck and

they they sort of ride me around yeah you know steering me and forcing me to do their bidding yeah oh that's really good i mean if i saw this as a movie or even a short film yeah i'd feel really satisfied satisfied yeah oh absolutely all these little bits and because just over your life you just have all these little burns imagine that you get a little sunburn start growing all these arms and legs and faces along on your shoulders or whatever and this is and once again

it's a cautionary tale because that we never should have spliced human DNA with that of the gum tree that's right it seemed like a fun thing to do and everybody was really into it because it felt so Aussie the law of unintended consequences I never intended for there to be consequences

I intended for it to be consequence free. Consequence free. Oh, I think I say consequence, and you say consequence. What about a consequence? Oh, like a, like that yellow fruit. Like a real inedible pear. Yeah, I mean, it's, you know, you can eat it. It's not the most delicious.

But I wonder if maybe if you boiled it down and got like a, if you got it into a paste or something like that, maybe it would be nice over cheese or something. You think? Nah. I don't think so. What would you do if you did have a quince tree? Like, what would you instruct...

Kill myself? Do you instruct your children to do to it? Throw the fruit at each other. I mean, some friends did have a quince tree when we were growing up. Yeah. And it did always make me feel very sad. the quince tree. Really?

Yeah, because I think I liked pears. Yeah. And these look so much like pears. They're kind of like furry pears. And then they just have seemingly nothing to offer. You know, they're big, they're big, strong, fine, strapping fruit. I don't remember. I was seeing a big quids.

I was small at the time. Maybe they just seemed big. Maybe the quinces of my, in my mind. Oh, yeah, but or the quinces of yesteryear. Oh, yes. Do you think, perhaps, that the quinces of yesteryear were larger, as big as your head? Mm-hmm. I don't really think back on all the quinces that I knew when I was younger.

What about the peach version of a lot of other fruits, right? So, you know, so. Yeah, okay. So, like, because it's like, you said a peat. version will release the peach cut I'm thinking of the peach version of nectarines is like a furry nectarine that's just a tiny little bit more unpleasant to eat yeah but in many ways better known than the nectarine than the nectarine well but you know that the nectarine is a hybrid of a peach and a plum so really the

nectarine is the peach version of a plum I can't imagine there's that much plumb in there. Well, I mean, I think that's where you get the smooth skin. Yeah, right. That's flawless, un-hairedy. Yeah. Plum skin. Okay.

Yeah, right. So, I think you just, I think you just invented the nectarine. No, I was talking about peach versions of other foods. Other foods, not just fruits. Yes, that's right. What about this, peach steak? Yeah, I'd love it. First steak.

With a really hard little seed in the middle. I guess that's what the bone is. That's what the bone is. Think about this. Animal skin that goes over each slice of meat like that. Imagine it isn't bacon with a bit. Stuff as you do get bacon, it's got a little bit of hair coming out of it or something like that.

Really? Yeah. Really? That must make you feel good. Oh, it doesn't. Mm. Yeah. I don't think they should be allowed to do that.

Yeah. It should be like a penalty, a fine. You should get, they should pay you to eat that. Yeah. I'll pay you to eat hairy bacon. Come to my house and I will pay you to eat hairy bacon. Okay, I'm coming. Okay, I'm there, I'm there right now.

I only got to go back to the office. Oh, I'm having to work overtime today. Oh, that's really great. What does your daddy do? He goes to his house every day and the man pays him to eat hairy bacon. Yeah. Well, you know, right. You know how sometimes you get bacon, it's got a little bit of hair coming out of it?

Yeah. It's awful, isn't it? Yeah. Well, my daddy eats that bacon for money. For the, I God. So that you don't have to do at his house. I think the father going to the school for, you know, careers week or whatever and explaining. Like, basically anything where, like, a dad has a career,

where it emerges that he gets paid by a strange man in a house to do something that essentially embarrassing but like you know what it puts food on the table yeah puts food on the table careers day uh but we've been struggling to put food on the table we can't struggling put food on the table we can't afford food no can't afford a table oh oh oh which way do we go oh left left like that was a real fork in the road like honestly there's it was oh it's thinking it's higher that's higher

Can you take... The only way out is up. Can't believe we... Have we talked about this? They should be... They should release the Snyder cut of other movies. Mm, let Zach Snyder have a crack at Schindler's List.

Schindler's List. There you go. Fantasia. Hmm. Milo and Otis. Oh, look, we're only four kilometers out of Cabramara. And I think that, canonically, that... Are we close to, like, the snowy hydro?

This looks like snowy hydro. I'm seeing all these... Electrical cables. Yeah, this is a, what is the substation? I think we might be at the heart of the Snowy Hydro electricity distribution network. What's that big building up there? Snowy Hydro!

Does that what it says? That's Snowy Hydro! Oh, this feels so good. This is where all the electrons come from. This is where your Australian electrons. These are Aussie-made electrons. Green and gold. Aussie electrons.

Hopping like the day they were born into their mother's paths marsupial electrons yes marsuporatrons um the so as we said

yep Schneider cut of other movies and I think the Schneider cut was this Schneider I don't know Rob Schnoffed the Schneider cut I think they should let

Rob Schneider have a go at Batman Yeah. Well, what was that? What was Justice League? Justice League, yeah. Maybe. Let him edit it. Release the Schneider cut. Oh, now that's great. Yeah. And what does it have? It has a bit more anti-vax content in there.

You can do it. Justice League. Well, that's really good. That's funny, Alistair. Yes. A Schneider cut. I put animal parts in you. Remember that? Yeah. Remember how that was Michael Caten, a straight, Speaking of Australian electrons...

Yeah. Mate, if you were to cast somebody to be the... Oh, that's a little... Paraty. Little weird little grey... Ground parat. Ground cockatoo-like gala... Yeah.

Thing, but not a gala... Not a gala. Sort of like a pigeon... If a pigeon had a go at being a cockatoo, in my opinion. Yeah. I mean, I've never seen one... In my opinion. Oh, we're still going higher.

Still going higher. Pigeons are like assholes. Um, I don't like seeing them in the city. Yeah, great. You often see them on city benches. What about re-release the Snyder cut? Re-cut the Snyder.

The Snyder. Re-cut the Sni-Dut by Snyder. Yep. because just want him to cut it again oh you know what I'm going to do is we're going to do up this top button so that now I'm going to ask you a contunding question now so I'm going to really put you on the spot here

earlier in the drive before the podcast when I made my gay gay chicken joke yeah how did you feel about that uh I felt okay because I knew that you were joking the room yeah great

the joke was uh do you ever play gay chicken. That's where you and the boys have sex with a male chicken. Yeah. And whoever has sex with it for longer wins? Well, I actually don't think that's necessary

for the joke, but it is necessary for a good time with the boys. So I'll allow... I mean, what's the competition element then? I guess there isn't really a competition. The one of most sex with... No, but I think... I think the sort of the essential twist of the joke is that there doesn't necessarily have to be a competitive element, right?

Like, just in the name gay chicken. And plus, if you are having a competition with who has sort of more, the longest amount of sex with a gay, with a gay chicken, a male chicken, a rooster. Um, oh, so a rabbit. An oldie rabbit. Oh, two Aussie rabbits. Just a thing you have a man hanging up, what, hanging out. the end of the road zombie planes

prequel this right was her only got to do in many ways you know what I like about this oh there's another one of those great cockatoos

is that the you know how like in in movies very you know and then rom-com they'll say New York

is like a character in the movie oh yeah the city of New York but but here the great dividing range is like a character in this podcast.

That's right. But like one that actually talks. Listeners probably can't actually hear the GPS instructions. Cancombe. Or anything. Horriong, 50 kilometers. Anything that we're saying. Maybe, yeah.

Wait, I was about to say something just before. Oh, yeah. So you're at a disadvantage because actually if you are more turned on. more turned on by a male chicken which I think makes you more chicken gay yeah yeah that's true

you're actually interesting so maybe it'll last less time because you'll be more aroused that's right by the process so in many ways it should be who it is a process and it's whoever spends the least amount of time having sex with this rooster isn't that again isn't that the

I mean that's the essential irony of the game of gay chicken is that the people who are the most I guess gay for chickens yeah I don't know attracted to male chickens

yes they get to have they actually get to have the least sex with them so in a way it's also it's also sad for them yeah it's a tragedy but then they won a competition

which is nice oh no they lost the competition as well yeah it's a doubt it's adding insult to injury Yeah. But then thinking about somebody who's not having a good time, who wants to, is thinking about the well-being of the chicken as well, who wants to just stop very quickly, they're also being penalized. Yeah. I mean... So then the person who wins is a whole thing is fairly perverse in a way. Yeah. Look at these rolling mountainous hills. Mountainous hills, I think...

Yeah? I think calling a mountain a hill. I know, but they're kind of hills. on top of the mountain. Yeah, that's true. Yeah. I mean, can you have a hill on a mountain? I feel like the things that are around us are proving that to be the case.

The hills on the mountains? Yeah. Yeah, I mean, we have, you know, you know, we all know what's the highest, the world's highest mountain. What's the world's highest hill? I think that, you know, maybe somewhere on... Mount Everest? Mount Everest, there's probably a couple of rounded off hills. I don't know

I don't know I think once you're I think once you're on a mountain Yeah It's sort of all mountain It's all part of them It all just sort of gets folded in But it falls under the umbrella of

Yeah In the auspices Oh look at that water Don't drive off the cliff But look at that water down there Just a ticket Oh that might be a One of the hydro snowy hydro lakes

Part of the system Do you reckon? Oh my goodness I wouldn't be surprised let me do all the looking since we've just got an open freaking uh just cliff there i'll do all the looking from now on right to the right anyway you're a bloody looker all right we gotta come up with more sketch ideas oh you reckon maybe

you know like you should no i think the podcast is is is another thing that we should be keeping on track not just this large van we're driving yes huge van we had to drive all my blow oh i just saw mountain spring hmm this is where how where's the water coming from this is it just emerging from a hillside it's just emerging from the hillside

how can it come from even higher than this we're at the top we're near the top we're at the top baby where's it coming from I mean that's that's one of the mysteries of nature it was like uh I mean unless there's another lake up there

like I just up this on top of this ill this supposedly impossible hill that Andy claims. Maybe that's a way, maybe you could use that as evidence to prove that there must be higher mountains. Yeah. Well, you know, when I was riding my bike through, there was that mountainous region in 2024. I was up in that area and I saw little lakes a little bit like the one we just saw. But I was driving through this kind of very misty air. right up in the mountains right and I could see that that mist was landing on the leaves and then dripping down and then there were little creeks forming yes and then I was that was dripping down into these little catchment areas these little lakes and it occurred to me that I was witnessing the part of the water cycle where the water this is the area where it condenses it condensates you're on the very front lawn

Of a water cycle. That's right. I mean, basically, you were so high up, you were inside a cloud. Probably. Witnessing the rain process. Essentially, a cloud that's surrounded by mountain, they can catch the, uh, the sort of the cloud fog. Mm. And turn it fresh.

It's a water. Straight from the cloud. Basically squeezing the cloud. Oh, another culturedinary on the left. It was milking the cloud. This is. They should do that. They should.

should catch clouds, right, with a big sheet or blanket, drag them down to earth. Yeah, right? And then be able to milk them directly in sort of, I guess, in farms or something like that. Oh, you know, I wouldn't be surprised if in the future this doesn't happen, right? That's a really high cliff. Privatization of... Clouds. Of everything more and more and the fencing off of the commons, you know?

Yeah. I think clouds, anytime a new cloud forms in the sky. I'll probably be drones that go up there. You know how I would do it? With a big sheet and lash it down on the ground. I would get Mr. Dyson to create a big fan. But it's flown up with like drones and a pipe. There's a pipe underneath it.

Yeah. And then it sucks in, it sucks in like plow. Right down. And then just pipes the water down straight. Oh, I can see a dam, Andy. I can see a dam. It is right nothing like a dam. No, but this could be a hydroelectric dam.

This might be exactly where this begins. This dam is hydroelectric. That's great. And there's an island in the middle of the little dammed water lake. Catch with a day. All right, look, we're getting distracted. We're getting distracted, are we? Have you written down the thing about privatizing clown?

Privatizing, I haven't. Lashing them down, milking them. on big cloud farms. I mean, I think, you know, the idea of a rustic farm, a bit of straw in his teeth there, going out to check on his clouds. Clouds even sounds a bit like cows. Andy, there's a possibility we're going to get to drive over this damn wall.

Oh, this damn wall. There's a possibility we're going to be driving. Careful, everybody. Attention. If we keep doing the podcast for long enough, I think there's a chance we're going to be driving over our... your damn wall Mm-hmm

Okay Coming to you Oh the damn wall episode Oh, it might be the only podcast To ever record From a damn From the hydro

The snowy hydroelectric Damn wall Oh man I hope this that's the case Who else would have the balls Mm Oh my god I do We're turning in the right direction

Okay, I'll try to go, I'll come up with a sketch idea before that. Okay, milk. Milk. Milk. Milk. Milk. Finally. A milk for in.

When you, when you, when you, when you, when you, when you, when you, when you, you get out the curds and way from milk. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Right. What is that way? Is it just kind of like a protein water? Is it just like a weird flavored water? Because you're, you're getting on most of the milk solids, right? Hmm.

oh there's a light there's a red light stopping us from getting to the dam it's a stop here on red signal because way oh green it's green green light yeah what is the way uh it does i think it is proteiny all right protein you would have a weird flavor but i guess it can't be that weird because milk doesn't have that much flavor it's in milk yeah so it's it's a subset of the of the of milk flavor Yeah, but that makes... Twice if you concentrate it a bit. Splitting milk favour into its component wavily.

Yes. So this kind of white flavour, which I guess is gone from the... That's the curds. Does the white flavour go into the cheese, though? I think so, yeah. So does cheese taste like white? We might be getting somewhere. This could be a big breakthrough.

Yeah, yeah. That... Oh, you know how Missy Higgins? Oh, my. Released that album, The Sound of Watt. Yeah, now we're getting towards the taste of white. The taste of white. Oh, Andy, we're about to get onto the damn wall.

Okay. Here we go. We are, we are on the damn wall. Well, and here is bump it all over the space. All right, we are on the snowy hydro dam wall. Oh, my God, there's a mist over the catchment water. It's a one thing. You got to take a photo of this, Alastair. Oh, okay.

Do you unlock your phone? Because I don't want to accidentally stop the... Stop the recording. I've now stopped the car in the middle of the dam wall. Yeah, hang on. Alistair's taking... Taking photos. Documentary evidence.

Okay. I'm going to go quickly to video. Here we are. Podcasting on the snowy hydro-dam wall. There's the mic for proof. There's the receptor. It is all happening here. History has been made.

We are driving off of the damn wall. We have a chees into our deaths. We have podcasted along the whole snowy hydro-dam wall. There's that little island. was talking about. When those brave men who built Australia, when they built that snowy hydro system, do you think they ever dreamed that one day two guys would podcast from the top of that damn wall? Obviously they could dream Andy, but they never knew that somebody would achieve it. We have podcasted the length of the entire snowy hydro down wall. History has been made.

Across Australia by podcast. Okay, okay, back to, we've got to focus now. Do you think this could be the most Aussie podcast ever? This might be the Aussiest podcast. I'm not sure about that, I mean, what could be more Aussie than that? You know, I'm only half Australian. Oh, yeah. You know, and so I worry.

I mean, but culturally, I'm a full dinky die. Full-blooded. Full-blood. True blue. Grade A. died in the wall died in the wall and that wall marino

marino wool New Zealand marino wool Australia riding on the sheep back front front and back and back hanging some bags on the undersaw do you think we should talk about

from yum hole to cum hole yes we should all right yes on the drive here yesterday we were discussing how you know I mean look this is the part that I added but how drinks they often talk about how good they are to drink but how good they are going in going in but they never talk about you know they never use that beautiful unused you know part of the the drinking experience

which is to pee it out and how good that feels and maybe talking about having designed a drink that is even more nice feeling to piss out yeah is to say that their that their drink is feels good From Yumhole, all the way down to the cum hole. Yeah, I mean, there's a lot of emphasis on life cycle management for a lot of companies. Say you're producing electronic goods, right? Yeah. We're encouraging people to take responsibility for not only how that thing is made and sold, but how it is used and eventually how it is disposed of.

And I'd like to see that attitude brought into other things. Why are the beverage companies? Why are they not? taking responsibility, stepping up and saying, we're going to make a drink that's not just good to drink. I think that's the problem, right? Because it's called a drink. Yeah.

And that's also the verb to drink. That's right. So it sets up this preconception that they should be focusing only on the drinking component. But if it was instead of, you know what, though, we do in Australia talk about drinking piss, sinking piss, getting on the piss That's right And isn't that interesting that we're like

We're not talking about the drink We are actually talking about I'm Because ultimately I guess that's what it is Right It's just piss in waiting Drink is just the larval form of piss That's right

And in Australia In Australia The lexicon that That drink becomes piss To the point where we Acknowledge that in our Time is a flat circle That's right

And so, why don't any of the companies recognize this, right? Why don't any of the companies acknowledge this? And why don't they design their product so that, you know, I don't think it's enough now for companies in 2025 to just say, you know, I think that my drink pisses out good enough. No. I want a drinking, I want a pissing beer. I'm sick of all these drinking focuses, focus beers. I want a beer that is good from Yumhole 2 all the way to the cum hole

Yes you know what I actually stood up at the end of that Alistair because I was so insom While he was driving his foot Pushed the accelerator to its maximum Mm-hmm and I became fully vertical Yep And he was rigid as a board But his whole body

Standing up Yes He was saluting to the to the roof of the of the van Right Out of respect I had a

Pissing beer A full body stiffy Sorry I stood up I A pissing beer Do you think that's good Finally The first

The first pissing beer And of course I think it's going to be hard To You know You might actually If you're designing this beer Have to start

By just focusing On making it good To piss out And actually it could be quite unpleasant to drink. And having one of the best pissing experiences that you possibly can't. Oh, yeah.

I mean, yeah, that's interesting. Like, to sacrifice the drinking part of the experience on the altar of having the best piss you ever had. I think things coming out of your urethra is already such a nice experience. Oh. you know that that I think that you know to you there's so much potential

there's so many nerve endings down there so many oh there's more taste buds inside your urisra than there are on your tongue did you know that? No but there's definitely I was hoping that you did there was more nerve endings

there's more nerve endings it wants to feel good down there I think of them as nerve beginnings that's true well you think of all do you think the nerves in the brain I mean certainly if they are sending signals

back to the brain seems to me that probably yes probably that is the beginning unless you think it's like nerve to the spine and then it's like copper from the spine to the brain or whatever it's fiber to the neck

nerve to the neck and then copper And then it goes actually through bone for a bit. It's actually really slows it down. It's basically like a marrow pathway. Oh. I caught in a marrow pathway. Now this is really what it looked like when I was doing some of that riding through the mountainous regions of Australia.

We've been on this road trip, and the road trip has very much been a road trip down Alastair's memory lane. Well, he's, he has, uh, he's been on many a Proustian reverie. Recherched some Tempts Perdue. And he's, people will have to look at the title of Proust books in order to know what Andy's talking about. I haven't looked at the title of Proustian books and I know what I'm talking about. What is the name? Aller Réhersh do Tom Perdue.

Yeah. He's his famous series of books where it all. Almost all exclusively takes place in the form of memories inspired by sensual experiences. That's right. I mean, when you talk about a happy ending during sex, is that referring to the nerve endings and how good do they feel? Oh, yes. A happy ending. Talk about a happy ending. Yeah. It's the, it's the, what is it, the ganglion?

Oh. The ganglion is the end of the nerve? You don't want to say that during intercourse, though. Oh, my ganglion is tingling. Oh, my arm is tingling. I'm having a heart attack. I'm having a gang banglion. An ganglian.

No, forget it. There was a long time ago when somebody told me, oh, you're circumcised? Well, then you just don't have as many. You're not as sensitive as me, because there's so many nerve endings in your foreskin and so you won't feel as much, right? I was like, mate, my penis end is very sensitive.

I mean, I was watching the Titanic the other day and you know that scene where they have sex in the car? Yeah. My penis was weeping the whole time. Let me tell you there, there was not a dry eye in my pants. Yeah. Anyway, I'm very sorry I said that. It was just something I had thought of about 15 years ago.

How's it? It's okay. We're researching Tempts Kudu. That's right. This is all about it. So we drove to my hometown of Tathria's today. And then I, but we were only there to drop off some belongings and then go for one quick swim at the beach. And then Andy got a bit scared of the water.

Andy got scared of the water. But then he was a big bright boy and he jumped into the cold water. Yes. And he was so, he was like, oh, you didn't, you didn't force me and you didn't make fun of me for taking my time to get in. And then he did make fun of me for quite a bit after that. No, then I said, then I said, well, I mean, when you take your turn to get in, it is more difficult. You said, shut up, shut up. And then Andy was like just showing that actually he's very sensitive about the idea of getting in slowly.

Yeah, people say that I'm, I'm not as sensitive because I had my foreskin cut off my head. Yes, but then it turns out that. He is very sensitive. Andy, I want to go to three words from a listener, but then I'm worried that I'm going to, when I open up my phone, I'm going to, because I haven't checked for the words yet. Let's just see if I can do this. I can I feel like that recording will continue in the background.

Background recording, I've got to go to Patreon. No way, I've got to go to my emails, Patreon. Okay, word. Do you think this is the most distracted podcast we've ever had? Oh, Andy, I don't know. I mean, I guess in the live episode that was just done, oh, that would have been 98, right? That would have been 498, so this is 499?

Do you think... Oh, that would have been, no, that would have been 47, so this is 498. Do you think that two airline pilots... They don't have any network. Do you think that two airline pilots... Yeah. In, like, as they're, you know,

they're flying a jumbo jet, right? And just as it's about to, I guess, they've run out of fuel. Yeah. And they're, they're plummeting to earth. Yeah. Do you think the co-pilots ever said to the pilot, we're not going to make it? And the pilot says, not with that altitude.

That's right. Oh, that's funny. It was funny. They would be like, hey, and then they probably, while they're laughing, crash. Yeah, yeah. Pilots. I think we must have all. this on on the black box recordings yeah that must be somebody go through them right and and

try and find out listen have a listen to that oh if there's anybody that works for the hertz company and uh wants to listen to the black box recording of this we've made up some pretty fucked songs along this journey yeah well that's we were saying that there was we should put black boxes in in all cars right and then whenever somebody dies in a car extent that the the family gets the chance to listen to whatever they were on about in the moments before the car crashed and in the case of me and alice i guess this you know maybe this podcast is a black box recording in many ways i guess if we disappear yes like we still we have these little uh these little uh the, you know, microphones on our lapels on our, on our shirts,

they'll be able, they'll know to listen. And then they'll hear the very last thing that we sang right before we did was, a ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, batfark a sheep. Ba, ba, ba, ba, fark a sheep. Anyway, and then we go, I went to a farm looking for sheep. I thought it's all she, so I, bachshed sheep, bachshed sheep, fagg a sheep. Anyway, so...

And then they take... The police take this to our families and they play it for them all there in the living room. These are our final... Final moments. These are the final moments. And then they droll over the end of the snowy mountain bridge.

Off the dam into the water and they were grind up by the turbines. Oh, ground up by the turbines! They went down one of the flumes. Yeah, and then the cops were saying to the family, now we have the recording from the thing right before they died

we want to warn you it's a very hard lesson it's not going to be easy it's never easy to listen to these things and this one's this can be very confronting for the family but fuck a shit the first podcast to fall off the host now we i drove down and get ground up on the turbines Oh Okay, wait

Um Okay, Snatel was recording for Cars I mean Yeah, what are we going to do If we can't get three words From a listener

Um I mean I guess I mean you could think of fake words And I could try and guess them And that you could tell me if I'm right or Yeah This could be the first time We've ever had

Three words from a podcast podcast host Yeah. From a co-host All the two in the think tank. How about I write down the three words? Oh, that's great. Then we have some integrity to this system.

Yeah. There's a lot of birds up here. In this area where there's no people to kind of ruin their lives. Hmm. And this alpine region. Three words from A, L-A-S-D-A-O. Really good. Really good.

You should have added that when you did your funny job. on the live episode about it being three words from three words from a listener listener by a listener hat from every read out by Alistair Alastastir

Or CB Yeah anyway Oh what's this little Sharp to correct corner Okay Got to write down three words Okay Yeah

Before we recorded the podcast Alistair had to Write a bio And send it off to Montreal television and it took him about this is him writing a I'm going to say like a 50 word bio

of himself and it took him a good hour to do so let's see how long it takes him to write down three words and I'll try and guess them I mean I could try and guess them as you go okay Andy you ready I'm ready

okay now remember these could be any word And also, before you start, think. Okay. All right. Red dirt, Andy. Yes. It's the most Australian podcast ever.

Red dirt. We just saw some red-ass dirt. Ass dirt. Ass dirt. Um, okay, the first word is blade. Oh, you were really close, Andy. Like, you've got the first two letters. Huh?

And then you got, you didn't get the third letter. But then you got the fourth letter. What? Then you didn't get the fifth letter, but the sixth letter is the fifth letter that you said. Whoa. You ready to find out what it is? It could be the closest I've ever got. You said Blade, the word is bludge.

Bludge! Whoa! This is crazy. Okay. Bludge. I wonder if there's some sort of bludge, sludge. Andy, the second word is sludge. Oh my God.

mate the podcast has never been higher another of I I am driving high I am at my own personal That's a little hill on a mountain I'm at that little hill Personal cosiosco right now Andy you absolutely could not say that that wasn't a little hill

I saw that little hill and I agree Yes Okay I'll give you that but only because I'm in such a good mood Yeah It's like you come to Come to me on the day of my daughter's wedding Yeah I know

Well on the day that I get a question right I mean, to get the pattern after me, but you did get it from a guy who you share a brain with. That's true. Okay, but look, I want to think that you could get this last word, but I don't think you will. Okay, Mattador. Not anywhere close.

I have, if anything, it threw it all the way. It negates all the gains that you make today. You're in a worse position than you started at. Oh. No, I'm just. messing around um andy the third word is ankle bludge sludge ankle you know what i feel like i even though i was wrong i feel like in a way i was right i sort of sort of knew kind of what you were doing how about this as an idea right it's you know okay there hasn't been a breakthrough in

furniture for a really long time yeah okay we came up with the couch and we really we rested on our laurels the couch was made at those lozorls but then what about this a new piece of furniture for the living room

it's a sort of a big tank full of sludge yeah that you sort of lower yourself into and you lie in there oh man warm sludge warm sludge just comfortable warm sludge

I mean has anybody experimented especially one where you kind of like it's pretty it's denser even than the Dead Sea yes so you do float in it and you don't quite I mean you sink in it but then you're kind of neutrally buoyant

and it's like perfectly it's either the same temperature as your body or a little bit warmer oh interesting could we maybe the thing that needs to be made is a breakthrough where this sludge it doesn't stick to your body no that's what I was thinking about it doesn't absorb into your clothes oh you wear your clothes into it yeah

yeah I reckon you don't want to have your dirty ass no exposed to the sludge That's the family sludge. You've got to think about the uptake of these kinds of things. You've got to make something that's easy for people to incorporate into their lives. And I think if you had to take your clothes off to sit down on a couch, nobody would ever sit down. That's true. Hey, if you, you know how you can make materials that are hydrophobic?

Yeah. Could you make a sludge that is homophobic? But as in homo, as in the man. The man, like, human breeding of man, yeah, like from Homo sapiens. You know? Yeah, yeah, that's true. I mean, really, that's what homophobia should be. It's fear of man, fear of humans.

I mean, that's, isn't that, that's a future we can all work towards? Where people fear humans? Well, where we all hate each other equally, you know, instead of based on the color of our skin or the contents of our... Character. Contents of our wallet. Our wallet. Yeah. Contents of our fridge.

Hmm. Okay, look, so the resting, the rest of... Homophobic sludge. The resting homophobic sludge. The resting homophobic sleep. Furniture. Sludge. Splurniture.

Phobic Sluds Lower yourself into Spend some time in the slime Oh yeah Spend some time in the slot And it's still It's still like

It's like lazy boy Oohsy boy Oozie boy And it's just a little that Take it Oozie That's our slogan Yeah Or you will

This is one Oozie You will use every day Oh, that's really good. Is that something? Is that based on something? I mean, look, I'm trying to play on that. Oh, today I didn't have to use my AK. Yeah.

Yeah, it's a bit of a stretch though, isn't it? Because an AK and an Oozie. Yeah, they're two different weapons. Two different weapons. And it's spelled differently. It's spelled differently. Yeah. Yeah.

But you know what? Let's do it. What about this is one Uzi you will fire at will? You will want. Oh, this is one Uzi you'll want to use on your family. Yes What about What about we make an oozy

The gun That is actually is oozy Actually does Sort of Shoot out a kind of And it's covered in slime Other people won't want to take the gun off of you Because it's so gross

But then you're shooting them So then Because that's the thing It's a lot of the time When you've got a gun And you're in a public situation Trying to control people People want to hit you over the head

And take your gun but what if the gun's really gross? Do you think that even if it was just covered in shit? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It was covered in human excrement. Do you think that that's one thing that would stop people from getting brave and hitting you over the head and taking your gun? They probably still would kick it on the ground like that.

They probably still do that thing where they, you can see, because you see it in some movies, in action movies, where they just grab the guy by the wrist and they slam his hand into the table or counter and then he willingly lets go of the oozy. But this one, this oozy is also a bit sticky. Yeah. And so they'll try to do that to keep their hands clean

and smash your hand, but also now it's stuck to your hand. What's brown and sticky? The new shit gun. The new oozy oozy. What the new... You know, Uzi 10mm is actually what I call my micro penis. It's good, Andy, it's good. Should we wrap up this episode?

I think so. I mean, what a note on which to end. Andy, this is probably the best 498 episode we've ever done. If it's listenable, this is going to be a real win for us. Never has so much natural beauty inspired so much man. Manmade revulsion. Yeah, absolutely. And now we're driving through a beautiful forest.

Oh, there's some other gray... Oh, I saw one of the gray parrot things. Gray parrot things. Had a red head. Oh, one of the others. Maybe the male. Maybe the female of the species. Yeah.

Drawing attention. All right, let's read the sketch ideas. We got sexy fly that attracts mosquitoes. And men. And men. I think it'd be good with the shit stuff is that if it dies and all the mosquitoes are attracted to it and then they start biting it

and then the flies filled with shit that couldn't be good yeah i mean i was i was into it when it was just a sexy mosquito and of course you had to make it a shit for the end the that idea is still in there somewhere and it's in there and you can take you know it's all recorded humans of human like gum trees they grow little bits of himself where where he's been burned a burn

Oh When I spliced Human DNA with that of the eucalypt I never thought There would be consequences That's right I didn't intend there to be consequences Guy who eats hairy bacon

At four work and he's at the School Careers Day Talking about it A lot of dads are Talk about having to put food on the table Well food on the table is my work and so I've already achieved everything that I needed to. I put food on the table all day.

That's the last thing I want to do when I get home. Yeah. That's why I gamble all my money on the pokies. Bringing home the bacon. We've got the Schneider cut. Yes. We've got gay chicken and the irony of it. Uh-huh.

We've got privatising clouds and milking them. Yeah, great. We've got a pissing beer. we've got pilots saying we're not going to make it and then the other one said not with that altitude we've got the black box recording for cars to hear songs

that you were singing before you crashed we've got the resting homophobic sludge and we've got the new oozy oozy oozy we do the song Andy yes excuse me it's just my oozy oozy whatever I choosey to dozy with my oozy

is not up to you see Thank you so much for listening to Two in the Think Tank We love that you do that Australia's highest podcast Yes No other Australian podcasts Are being recorded at this altitude

We know because we've barely passed anybody since we've been up here Yeah Barely a regular person is up here This is at least today's highest podcast Ever recorded in Australia today, unless somebody's recording a podcast on Halcy. You know, do you get stressed when you see a reservoir and the levels are really low?

Oh, I do get a little bit stressed. Do you worry? We're just seeing a low reservoir. Hey. Warning to everybody. The reservoirs are low. But I don't know how deep it is, you know, overall. Could be very deep.

Look at that boulder. We're about to go over another little bridge. Another damn wall. No, it's not a damn wall. It's not? Oh, do you think that's, oh, that's the slipway? Is it the slipway? It would be the slipway.

The spillway. spillway you know what we might have just driven over another dam yeah i think there's a little just more of a dirt dam dirt dam dirt dam okay we gotta go dirt dam don't forget to listen to the 5 inch episode it's already on youtube and we love you