Two In The Think Tank - 500/6 - "500 Sketch Ideas Part 6: The End/The Beginning"

Episode Date: November 24, 2025

This is Part 6 of 6 of Episode 500. Thank you for your patience. Your regular programming will resume soon.Enormous thanks to Humdinger Studios for hosting, filming, streaming, everything. You made all this possible.Very very gigantic thanks to Ellie for the great art on our livestream background.Vast, boundless thanks to all the many many guests who came along. You carried us with your mouths.To the TITTT scholars on the TITTT discord server here who worked together, watched hours of hour nonsense and updated the sketch count.To everyone who watched, even a little bit, of the live stream (here)And all the amazing a-listeners who bought hats and supported the Pozible campaign to get Alasdair back to AustraliaTo our families, who not only put up with our nonsense but sopport it.And everyone we forgot.And you.We love you.You can now purchase A Listener hats by emailing [e-mail] the Think Tank Institute website:Check out our comics on instagram with Peader Thomas at Pants IllustratedOrder Gustav & Henri from Andy and Pete's very own online shopYou can support the pod by chipping in to our patreon here (thank you!)Join the other TITTT scholars on the Alasdair Tremblay-Birchall: @alasdairtb and insta Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

You know Hotel California? Oh, yeah. You can stay at... Yeah, B&B, California. You can only check in between 9.15 and 2 p.m. And when you do leave... make sure you turn off the air conditioning. Don't use too much soap.

Welcome to the Airbnb, California. Such a lovely place. Tim and Eric were wonderful hosts. I've got the tune and the rhythm. Beautiful. Airbnb, California. Yeah, I mean, we rewrite the song as a review. Ah.

Which I think actually does make more sense. Yeah. Yeah, sure. Yeah. Then. The whole thing with Airbnb where you have to like clean up everything else they charge you extra. Yeah. That sucks.

That sucks so bad. I mean, I would rather stay at the hotel, California where you can never leave. Yeah. Then clean. They'd have to do all this cleaning up for you guys. Yeah. That I've paid so much money for and still probably pay a cleaning fee. Yeah.

Yeah. Could. Once a good go. I'm just trying to think of hotel things that could happen in an Airbnb and be quite silly. And I'm thinking of like a, I guess, you know, like a haunted hotel where there's like the ghosts. But for an Airbnb, because it's so recent, the ghosts have to be very new. Of course, because, yeah, there's just a new thing. So it's just like one of the, maybe somebody rented it so that they could.

kill themselves the ghosts of a old American couple who are just like a couple years out of date they're just yeah they had peanut allergies yeah

they ate they ate a chocolate bar in the in the sort of Airbnb that they didn't realize was heavily loaded with peanuts can you sort of transplant ghosts from like

one spot to another like could you could you sort of buy the ghosts from a haunted hotel. Oh. You know, I doubt that, like, I wonder if you're, like, how, what fraction of the building structure? How many bricks would you have to move to relocate the ghosts? I think it's the remains.

I think all you need is the remains. Really? I think, and then, but what happens is... I don't know that it's the remains, because I don't think any of these ghosts, their bodies are buried in the places. Right? They're buried in cemeteries somewhere else. Okay. The ghosts still stalk the halls.

Okay. Maybe you can move their unfinished business. Maybe that's their unfinished business. Maybe that's their unfinished business is that they didn't empty out the bins. Something very blazay. Yeah. At the Airbnb. And that's why they are cursed to forever walk these two rooms.

Two rooms in a small studio apartment in downtown New York. New ghosts in a... Airbnb I believe Adam that you have I believe you have fulfilled

all your responsibilities you have no unfinished business You have given us so much You're so kind I don't think I gave you much You gave us so much You lifted the mood You brought us delicious food

You brought us greens Which I don't think I've eaten in days You did literally the last time i think we were speaking i think you did say that you were having trouble eating greens yeah yeah just it's just you know when you're not at home very much you know yeah yeah why would you why would yeah really and you've been so good thank you very much no thank you i'll uh did you want to have anything do you want out anymore well what about i put that in a bowl this stuff is that all right or do you want to take that or i could no no please you can take it all if you'd like i'll put

some in there you go you take that with you you. Thank you, my man. And let us welcome... Oh, look at you go. Yeah, no, it's all good. No, thank you, truly. Thank you so much. I'm good luck. Thank you so much. We're getting... Thank you. Please welcome Hayden Bleachbo. Hey, Dan. Hey, man. What kind of stuff?

Oh, my God. Why are you... Someone in the chat said... Most of it's my stuff. Okay. I don't get too excited. But I bought some coax because someone in the chat said you had a Coke. We did have some coax. You can have some more coke.

We got vanilla, which is the best flavor. I'm stacking up. So I got a complaint right off the back. What? Started with a complaint. You started with a complaint. I went to go piss, right? And you've got...

Who my past is? That's it. Went to go pee. and the light switch was like flicked on which is normal so far actually no let me start this again I'm butchering the story and it's a good one

I went in it was off so I turned it on and then the sign-up says leave the switch on because it's automatic and then I was peeing and then the lights went off before I got to...

So quickly right they're really breathing down your neck those lights and you've got to sort of wave your arms around to get to come back on I know I don't like that at all and I need both hands to keep this thing under control

Oh, that's fire hose And it's absolutely off, off chops. Yeah, if I take my hands off this thing for a second, we're in big trouble. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then you'll be to see... You try shaking your head like this? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

You tried that? To correct the stream? Yeah, how does that help? No, I meant to get the... Hi, Adam. How are you guys enjoying 4 a.m. so far? I'm not too bad. I believe it's 4 a.m.

What was the last time you're up to 4 a.m? The last time you did one of these? I don't think we were even up that, that, that late this time. It would have only ever been, because a child was waking me up. And there's no way I would have stayed awake this full slab of time. Yeah. Feel remarkably good.

What I will say is that there's not a single fucking thought in my head. Yeah, cool, cool. It hasn't been for about 10 hours. Yeah, great. And it absolutely shows. Yeah, yeah. What's been the best sketch so far? What's your top one?

I really don't know. I remember a single thing, but we are going to read through every single one of them. Oh, it was huge murmur. A big mermaid earlier. Huge mermaid, okay, great. Disney's the huge mermaid. Yeah, perfect. It was a really big mermaid.

Okay, yeah. You feel about this, a spermade. That's good. It's a sperm tail. Yeah. Oh, I love that. Spirmaid, that's good. Or it could be a sperm whale.

How is that a sketch idea? Yeah, okay. Well, this is the adventures of spermate? Oh, that's really good. They get into scrapes and jams. Yeah. And then at the end of the sketch, they get out. of it and it's all good and you know what her crab friend

it's a pubic crab yes really good strong that's really good and so she's born out of a brown starfish yeah darling it's better down where it's sweaty uh under the crotch yeah that's good under the belly under the belly

very well done thank you yeah yeah all right all right all right we're doing all right Okay. What are we up to now? 4-4? 4-61. Oh, yeah, there we are. Okay, so... I mean, look at this. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Wind on our back. Coming home with a wet sail, as you would like to say. We could smash out at 39. Yeah, man. That's what we have the guests. Yeah, yeah. Dude. If there's anything left.

Yeah. Okay, let's see. What about, like, just a guy who gets the coolest haircut? Oh, boy. And everybody, like, he knows he's got it. Yeah. He's pretty sure. What do you reckon the coolest haircut is, though?

Because I ran into a friend that I hadn't seen in like two years the other night. And last time I saw them, they were bald. Then they had a cool new haircut that I wouldn't have described as cool new haircut. If I picked that out of a lineup, it wouldn't be like, that's a cool haircut. I think that's kind of a weird haircut for an oddball. Because he's a cool person, it was like, it went on, okay, so the new cool haircut. It was like it was kind of short, but like a big, like full-sized bangs, but everything else is short. That makes sense?

Yeah, the reverse mullet. Sort of, yeah, kind of. It's like neat, neat, but then bang. How do you feel about this? Like, get a little, little wall put around here. Okay. Put a top of your head up with... A wall of hair or a wall?

I don't care. Could be hair or put your wall. All right, sorry, okay. How about your top of your hair up with dirt? Planned some cheer seeds or something like there. A little grass top going up there. I reckon you could do it. A lot of real estate really unused for agriculture, I guess.

A little lawn. Human population. Yeah, yeah. You know what I would love the most about that? Yeah. Is laying in bed. Having all that dirt falling on your bed. It won't.

It's being held in place by the root system. Yeah, true. I mean, I think if you have it healthy, it'll stay. Once it's growing, I suppose there's a period while it's growing where it's pretty loose. I reckon the first five to seven days, if you just sleep in a rocking chair or something like that, like that, and then you can just like get past those bits. And then after that, you get that chit-chichia haircut like that. I think, yeah, I think you're under something. Well, that's how, was it Edison?

Came with all these good ideas? Because he would sleep in a chair and he'd hold spoons. And it would hold him above a bowl or something, or his keys or a spoon or something. So when he fell asleep, he would drop the spoons and into his metal bowl and make a big loud noise and it would wake him up because he reckoned like the state of being, and wake asleep.

Oh, between consciousness. That's when he came up with the good ideas. Wow. Yeah. What about this? He's holding these things. Okay. I mean, I wonder when he came up with that idea,

because that's a bloody crazy. Oh, yeah. He must have done that with the spoon. Oh, no, he couldn't have. I do feel like that sort of is a good state to come up with new ideas. Yeah. Not necessarily good, but like, I mean, they're not necessarily good anyway. And as long as you're just coming up with them, it doesn't matter how you get them.

It's true. It's a numbers game. And this sounds like a. pretty bloody good way to get them out of you. Yeah. What about this? You're bringing an old friend home, you know,

to see your house or whatever. And then you put your keys in this little bowl just on the, you know, on the thing as you come in. Yeah. Like that. And your friend takes the keys

and then she gets, they get the fuck you. It's keys and bowls rule. That's keys in bowls rules. Yeah. Okay, that's one. That's one.

Don't put your keys in your bowl if you don't want to get fucked. But she actually accidentally gets out the wrong keys is the keys to the shed oh no she has to go out to the shed kiss the rake

kiss the rake kiss the rake he had the best one oh that's the shed yeah I get the fuck yeah like she grabs it she goes

oh I got your keys I got the fuck yeah like that and he goes that's not my ball I mean that's not my that's not my keys that's the shed and then he goes out there

what you said and he kissed the kiss the rake maybe there's like a spider up in the corner or something And she frots up against. Frot. Frotting.

Frotting. What do you think if you had to be in an intimate relationship with something that was in a shed? Was in a shed. What would you go for? Petrol can. Petrol can's good. I like Petrocan. That's strong.

It was a very erotic smell. Yeah. Intoxicating. Intexicating. Yeah. Oh, I guess that makes both of us. Two strokes. Two strokes.

Yeah. Mate, that is what they call me in the bedroom. The old two, two strokes. Two-stroke bloke. Well, it takes. I reckon maybe... The whippersnipper. No, I think that's the furthest one.

Oh, okay. Far away. The shop vac. That seems a bit too obvious. How far away does it need to be while you're kissing something else in the shed? Yeah, I like to be watched by the whippersnipper. Yeah, sure. From far away, I wanted to look through the little window in the shade.

Yeah, it's outside the shed? I mean, there's a lot of drills and stuff like that, which is sort of... Sexy quality to them. Is that what you're going to say? Yeah. There's that reciprocating sore. You don't want to, if you didn't use it as a sore,

but you used it as another type of, if you attach something else to it, it's an extremely sexual implement. I mean, I think you could say that for any kind of implement if you attach a dilute to it, which is what you were hinting at, I assume. Is that what you were? Yeah, I was subtly hinting at the idea of

gaffer taping a dildo to a reciprocate. but I like to dance around it in a delicate play of words. I'm straight down the middle. Creating a web of possibilities and intrigue within all ages stream.

It's more about what is not said than what is said. I shouldn't have said it, sorry, I kind of ruined the magic of it. I mean, the pool was much, was much too tempting. Much.

Much. Mutch. Maltch would be good. Maltch would be a good one. I apologize. apologize in advance what I'm about to say. It was mulch too tempting. A movie called The Boner Killer.

Okay. Right. I'm in. Now, is it somebody who kills you with boners or kills your boners? I think it kills people who have boners. A lot of those movies, they're sort of this weird, this sort of vibes. There's the 80s ones where it's like these young kids are sinning. They're having sex and smoking weed and that's why they get killed at summer camp, you know? And could the Boner killer maybe could even be.

like a skeleton so it's sort of made of bone. Bona killer. Yeah. Yeah. Bone or killer. Yeah. Oh, interesting. Yeah. No. Yeah. You know when you're like, when you're tired and you're like, I'll just repeat the words at a slightly different rate that they said it. Yeah. You know when you've been podcasting for 20 hours? Is that how long you've been got? Yeah, 20 hours. Yeah. Yeah. Nice. What's been the highlights? Like not not sketch related. Okay. It's your favorite bit to happen that It wasn't a sketch. Various people bringing in foods and really exciting. Very nice.

This is a lot of light to my life. I got a couple more. No, we don't need any more, but... Thank you so much. I'm enjoying this one. I had a vanilla Coke in a really long time. I love a vanilla Coke. It's the best one.

I remember when it came out. Did you really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. She's been around forever for me. No, no, no, no. It was an innovation, I would say, around about 2000. Yeah, right. It was when it came out in the street.

I remember it still is an amazing tasting coke. Yeah. Yeah. It's remarkable. And it seems drinking the sugar stuff is still, is actually probably mostly better than having the stuff that doesn't have sugar, I think. Yeah, there's, they, was it, flannelinoline? I think it's what it's called.

Flanelanelanelene? Yeah, I think there's a few things where they're like, now, like, your body still thinks it's having sugar with the other things, and now it does even weirder stuff because it's like a faky. Oh. You're getting sugar, and you're like, What is, well, what's the body's, what, when you say your body goes, ooh, what does that mean? Well, it's like trying to react to sugar because it's like, oh, I'm having sugar.

That's a kind of like a state of like permanent stress or like flight or fight. Right. So it thinks it has more energy than it does? Yeah, I don't know. I don't know any more of the details. I was doing this. I think that was everything that Alistair knows. I don't know how to explain it any better than it.

I tried to use, I tried to use sort of mime and sort of a threatening motion. maybe intimidate you into stopping asking me. Miming's got to be the least intimidating form of intimidation, I think. Yeah, I think, what about a guy on a quiz show? Okay. When somebody asked him a question that he doesn't know, he says, you don't ask me that. Ask me that again.

Ask me that again. Yeah, no, go on. Say it again. You think you're smart? Yeah. Well, do you have an answer? He's asking. He's asking.

Yeah. A wise guy A wise guy And a quiz show Yeah That is a really good idea It's a wise guy Yep

Yeah who was sentenced Maybe the whole The show is called Wise guys Yeah It's already a great name For a quiz show But it's spelled

WHY Oh Why's guys It's a quiz show The whole All the contestants Are different Mafia

personalities And none of them Like Be and ask A lot of question Yeah What's with a third degree over here.

Come on. I'm just, I'm going, I don't know anything. That's good. I don't know nothing. Yeah. What about a guy who fell into the forest when he was a kid? He fell from a plane? Okay.

Forest from a plane. His legs went down into some sort of quite soft ground. He's stuck in there up to his waist. Yeah, yeah. They were planted like a tree. He actually fell into some quicksand and it saved his life. Oh, wow. Then does he sort of grow there like a tree?

Well, no, some chimps saved him. Chimps. And, you know, it wasn't long until he was found by humans and they would, they, they him up, but he was one thing that he learned from the chimps that he never stopped using, which was always just pooping your hand before you put it in the toilet, you know? And he would catch it. And he would just let it down. You know, and that's why, because he didn't...

Is that what they do? Do the chimps poop into their own hands? They don't have toilets. So what are they going to do? They don't always... Well, they don't pull into their hands every time, I don't think. But that's it. It's just sometimes...

It's only when they throw it, yeah. And so, but he, you know, he learned that move. And then he was like, well, this way, I don't splash. Yeah, stealth. Yeah, you just lower it down into the water like that. Gently, you know, soft landing. Yeah, like that, you know. And he said, I always kept that with me.

He's telling his grandkids. What about a toilet, speaking of stealth toilets. Okay. Because the toilet is sort of shaped like a trumpet, right? And it makes your farts loud. Yeah. You have a reverse toilet that muffles. Oh, yeah.

Farts. Okay, so you poop into like a little mouthpiece. Yeah, yeah, like a trumpet mouthpiece. Yeah, but it doesn't go into a big opening. No, no. It goes, yeah. I guess it would just have to be like a part piece. pipe.

Yeah, just a round pipe so you have to really line up. It's a bit of aim. Yeah. I think that's how astronaut's shit, I think. They got like a hose and they, it's like a hose with a big funnel.

It's always sucking. Yeah. And they put their butt up and they suck the two out of the butt. That's amazing. It's a really weird thing. And I wonder whether it, I wonder if you just put it up against your butt

whether or not you can like suck stuff and like cause real problems. Yeah, I don't know. Yeah. I guess it just has to suck a little bit. Just have to suck it out of floating in space, brother. It doesn't suck it out your

uranus, I guess. Not the planet, the, uh, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, okay, wait, wait, so wait, we want to reverse. Okay, wait, a guy who learned how to wait, poop in hand. Did you put the poop in hand? Great, then there's stealth toilet. What about a toilet that's always making fart noises? So that when you go to the toilet, you don't feel embarrassed.

Yeah, like, I'm sort of trying to recline. I'm going to adjust this a little bit. Is that okay? I just want to get comfortable. I want you to get comfortable. I'm making a mess of this. That's okay. I'll do.

The, what's it called? The reverse toilet? Yeah, reverse toilet. It's the exact opposite shape of a toilet. And it makes your farts quiet. So, yeah, yeah. But what about, like, what about, like, you know. Well, there's the, yeah.

No, there's the, you'll write this down too. Because it's really good. It's the toilet. I want to write this down right now. The toilet is always farting. So everyone tunes it out. Yeah. And then every public toilet,

She's just going, I reckon 100 sketches from this episode are fart-based. Well, that's where the well is the deepest, you know? Of course, of course. I think that's fine. There's nothing wrong with that. That is always fart. It's always farting. I feel like that's a kid's book as well.

Yeah. Because... We could, yeah, make some money off it. Franchise it. I mean, we can probably get six or seven episodes out of it. Easy. Animated, I think, right? Yeah, I mean, book, an animated book?

Well, I thought we were going TV show, too. I don't know if I said that. go TV after we sell a million copies. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, we could do that for sure. Yeah, Andy, the toilet that's always farting. Yeah. The toilet's always farting.

Yeah, so that way everyone tunes out the farts at all time. So you go in there. It's really good. Your own big farts and no one knows or cares. Yeah. It breaks the taboo. It's like the question of like, if a tree falls in a forest where somebody is constantly playing loudly the sound of a tree falling,

does it make a noise? Or do you even notice? Who cares? You just changed it out. What about this? Okay, what about this? The house is always farting. Yeah, okay.

You know, you get that? Yeah. It's like toilet is always farting, but it's the whole house. And then you can fart in the whole house. And also the house's farts stink. And the house. So this is good.

There's a house that farts in every room. It farts loudly and it's the farts stink. so that when you have a girl over you can do a fart and you'll go that's just the house sorry my house farts and you can say you can do a fart

yeah you can fart if you want I don't even care because I know these farts yeah it's only like five or six different farts sounds it's only two or three different smells the house producers I know them very well

but you feel free I don't even care anymore about fart because my house is always farting I know the back of my hand like I know the farts are this You've had this girl home for five minutes and all you've been talking about is farting. Yeah, I like to mention that's them dead and shit. Your house is always farting.

You can fart, you can shit. I don't care. It's fine. I don't care anymore. I live in a hell house. I can't sleep a wink in this fart house. Presumably the point of this is to make it easier to seduced women by not having any awkwardness around farting.

Yeah. And like you were going the other way. There's so much awkwardness that you just, you're brink. can't handle it. Yeah, well, I guess it's fine. Who cares about farts? This guy's house farts. Stinky farts all the time.

We can just stop seeing each other now if that's, yeah. Yeah, I'm not really feeling it. I know that I'm just here to pick you up, but let's, uh, let's, uh, let's can it. That's good. That's a million dollar idea. That's a million dollar idea. It's a million. You know, you will feel very at home.

Yeah. Yeah. Like, yeah, if the house is already embarrassing itself, you, honestly, you can't embarrass you will be unable to embarrass yourself in this house because anything you could have done, this house has already done to itself. This house can piss itself. This house can

shit itself. Nice. Yeah. What else are some other humiliating things a house could do to make you seem cooler in comparison? Oh, you know what we mentioned? Sorry about my... Sorry about my dork house. Yeah, what about this? It's just something I spoke about with a friend, Ainsley, the other

day. But let's say you're speaking to, this is one of the most embarrassing things that can happen right yeah you're speaking to a person of color right and you ask them their name and you don't hear it properly yeah and you go oh and do too and they go no Nadia yeah yeah you go that's bad yeah that's like oh I'll think about that every night I am just so I die as it would be easier yeah to just go and yeah die in the hard hat I mean At that point, you are well within your rights to be like, fuck you, brain. Yeah.

Why would you do this to me? Hey, Nadia, if you want, Nadia, you can kill me now if you want. If you want to kill me, you can kill me. That's okay. Why would my brain be like, you know what? I didn't hear it perfectly, but I reckon I can make up a sound in a language. I don't even know what it could possibly be. Overwhelmingly just the most embarrassing.

horrible things. Have you ever done that? I'm assuming you have. I feel like I have. I did it. I don't think I've done that, but it seems like something I would do. I did.

It makes me feel sick because I feel like it's still in my future to do that. Yeah. It's coming. It's waiting around the corner, baby. There was one that barely got pulled off, like I barely pulled off. Yeah.

Where there was somebody in the crowd when I was emceeing and there was somebody in the back and I couldn't hear her well. And she was clearly, you know, she was Asian. And I couldn't. understand her name and i asked twice and i just went i'm really sorry but what i have heard was snake bitch now i assume that's not your name but can we just for the sake of there's just

too much back and forth now yeah just for tonight and i know it's not okay can you be snake Just do me a solid snake bitch, please. Yeah. Were they fine with that? She was okay. Yeah, great. I apologize. I apologize to the show.

Yeah. I think that's okay because I don't think that sounds like an offensive thing in any language other than English. Yeah. Yeah, true. Yeah. Are you on a, fisherman's friend? Somebody brought these in. Oh, man, can I have one?

They're gross. Go for it, man. Yeah, I've had a lot of these. I've probably had more than his. recommended. I think I had, the last time I had this I was in high school, and I was expecting it to be a mint. Yeah, and it's sort of almost is. Yeah, but it's sort of this thing

that fills up your whole brain. Yeah. Awful flavor. Mm-hmm. I nearly missed my mouth, then. I don't know if anyone's quite confronting. Hmm. Is it a chewy or a sucky? It's definitely not a chewy, I would say. Okay, so Osaka. Yeah. Mm. Um.

Yeah, I played, uh, college checkers. Yeah, I played checkers at a, at a state level. Stay left. I made it to state. Yeah. I had a Frisbee Golf Scholarship.

Connect 4. Yeah. Yeah, I was a rock paper, scissors scholar, a road scholar. I got a road scholarship for my rock paper scissors. Isn't it a road scholar you actually go to one specific school as a road scholar? Yeah, Oxford. Oh, that's Oxford, is it? Yeah, and you've got to be sort of an all-rounder.

You've got to do sport of some kind of as well as being a real book smarts kind of know. And street smarts, I bet, too. And street smart. Tough exams, the street-smart exams. Why wouldn't you want to get a scholarship from a guy who created apartheid? Wasn't he the guy who designed apartheid? Cecil Rhodes. Yeah.

Of course, probably it is. Like what Rhodesia was named after? Take me home. to the place. You're going to incorporate some apartheid stuff. Good. Yeah. Cecil Rhodes was his name?

Yeah. He started at Oxford? I know. I mean, he had a country called Rhodesia named after him in Africa. Yeah. And when you're just a dude and you have a country named after you. Yeah, that's wild. That implies that you've been doing some pretty terrible.

terrible shit. It doesn't happen otherwise. Yeah. Was he like a... No way to get that. Yeah, usually it's like you're some sort of king or political leader or something,

but you at least had the decency to be born a king. Yeah, I know. You must, I mean, how do you do it? How do you fuck? Yeah, all right. It doesn't matter. Is there anything we can do

with this college level checkers or Connect 4 or rock paper scissors? Yeah. What about a, like, if it was like some sort of like underground rock paper scissors kind of society where they're like, they're super sweaty. Yeah, yeah. Their shirts are off. Yeah. Yeah.

And they're playing this game and it's a high stakes game of rock paper scissors. Yeah, yeah, yeah, okay. What makes it high stakes do you think? Smolition. Oh, whoever loses gets their nipple cut off. Yeah. Yeah, well, like, we're playing, we're paying for pink. If you lose, you get hit in the head.

Pink tips. Pink tips. Pink nips. We're playing for pink nips. Yeah. And I play for keeps. Mm. The guy, the guy, he lifts up his shirt, and he's got like 12 nipples like a dog.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. He's got them graft it on. Yeah. Yeah. Call him the pig. You've got so many nipples. Yeah, they call them mother pig.

Oh. The sow. All over, though. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, like, Lord, around the back. Like, killmonger from whatever that's called, Black Panther. That's such a good comparison. Yeah, thank you.

I'm over my comparisons. Thank you. But he's nipmonger. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's all up and down his body. But, like, you know, you can still have that sort of, because out in the real world, you know, sleeves come down to here. Yeah.

Tight collar or whatever. You can hide the nips. Like down there in the basement. On paper scissors world. Yeah. Shirts off, nips out. Yeah. Then he has some real scissors that he uses to snip the nips.

Yeah, he does it himself? Yeah, I guess why not? Yeah. Oh. Yeah, that's good. And there's a lot of, all the crowd is just sort of like sad people with just no nipples. Mm. They go, oh, man, this guy's really good.

Perfectly smooth over there. What do you call them? because you know I have the ariola yeah right and then there's like the nipple yeah is the whole thing the nipple like if you just had just the nipple bit

just the tipple is that the whole thing together a nipple or is it the nipple and the ariola and we just colloquially we say bothered working it out yeah what's the point you know like I think women it's been studied in great detail but you know with us it's just like

Yeah, nipple, tit, whatever. Whatever, who cares? Yeah, scientifically, this is sort of like whatever. Scientifically, this is not worth it at the time. Yeah. Yeah. French, it's called the male nipples called like the mammalon. Mamelon.

Mamelon. Okay. Mamelon. Mamelon, what are they milking? Maybe that could be the name of the guy, the Mamelon. The Mamelon. This feels quite confunting. I mean, I find calling him the sow.

The sow's good. Yeah, the mother pig. The manories. Yeah, the manories. I just want, I want to do something that activates the nipples and makes them do something. Of course we want that. How do we can? That feeling of being, of being suckled on and of giving life and all we want.

I don't necessarily need to be suckled on right now, but I just have them, I want them to feel like activated like they're ready to do something. and they reveal their secrets to me. What do you think, what would you want it to do? There's just something dormant in there and I'm sure that they do something. It's amazing that none of the X-Men, as far as I'm aware, did anything with their nipples.

Not a single X-Men. And then X is the perfect thing to put over a nipple when you're trying to cover it. Sure. Yeah. You know, maybe that's why they're called the X-Men. They've all taped up their nipples. Yeah, because the yellow suits are probably chafing, I guess.

Yeah. Do a lot of running. A lot of that stuff. A lot of time. A lot of tight foods. The seam is on the inside, and they don't worry so much about how much it's rubbing on it. I know. They designed the costume for aesthetics, not for functionality.

That's right. You need to wear a rashy under there or something like that. You know, Cyclops. You know what he's like. He doesn't want to wear a rashy. Yeah. That guy. Cool.

He's all attitude. Yeah. Does he, he just, like, if his eyes are open, he's just shooting beams, don't stop. I think so. I think he's just always shooting beams, and then he's got the special goggles to stop the beams. How much it does he have to eat, do you think, to power that laser? Yeah.

Where's that energy coming from? Yeah, I mean. A man of food he would have to eat. Yeah, it just like sticks a pepperoni or like that's all the protein. Is it like a fire, was a firefly? Like if I'm looking at, is it bioluminescence? Yeah, yeah. Is that where the light is coming from?

You'd be. It must be some kind of a, I look terrible. You look great. You look great. You look great. Here's a bit of a mess, but that's okay. Thank you. You know, like whatever they got in jellyfish or something like that.

Do they have in jellyfish? What is the bacteria? Yeah, some kind of bioluminescent bacteria maybe. What makes that bioluminescent? You know, where does it? Even smaller, even smaller bacteria? It's starting to feel like we don't have an explanation. Yeah, we don't necessarily.

It'll just, it'll be something like it uses its energy. and some of its energy is converted into light energy. You know, I mean, I can't... Ultimately, at some level, that's going to be what it's going to be. Yeah. But how do you feel about Cyclops,

but he shoots the beams out of his nipples? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I feel like... It's maybe not out of the realms of possibility, not now, but in the near future, within the next 10 years, when we've got CRISPR involved and genetic manipulation.

We're holding out so much hope. You could, you know, cure cancer, whatever. But you could design a child to have bioluminescent nipples. Yeah. Huh? And that could maybe scratch that itch for you. Yeah. Low in the dark.

Is it enough of a superpower to sort of have, oh yeah, I mean like, oh, just to have, just to have nipples that do something. Just to do something, yeah. Yeah. I mean, I would lose my anonymity at nighttime, though. Well, I just get the X's. Hey? You tape the X's on.

Oh, yeah. Okay. That's great. You know, I guess if I'm on... I put a shirt on, yeah. But I refuse to do that. No, I won't do that. Not with these new puppies, these new little pepperoni slices.

That's fun. Like, you're in the dark and you see, like, you know, you're alone in the woods. You look around, you see a pair of eyes glowing in the bush. And you go, oh, God, it's a big wolf. That's the biggest wolf I've ever seen. It's quite far apart. And then ATB walks out, hi. Sorry, it's just me.

Walking shirtless in the forest at night. Yeah. And I don't need a torch. My body completely stung by my mistake. mosquitoes. Yeah, poison ivy. Hey! Hey! I'm just absolutely wrecked, destroyed by insects. Yeah. But I was committed and not putting a shirt on these puppies. Okay.

There's the downside to biolubinousin nipples is that it attracts a lot of bugs. Oh, yeah, because it's all these moths. Yeah, all the moths and the mosquitoes coming right for you. Yeah. All these moths are all these babies turtles crawling towards you at all times. The problems. The problems for a man with... We've grown the dark nipples. Yeah, it's not all, it's not all, you know, ticker tape parades and shaking hands with the CEO of Angerson Robertson Bookshop.

If you had glowing nipples, you woke up tomorrow, you got glowing nipples, you go to the doctor, they found a way to explain it, it's a freak thing, how far do you think you could advance your... It's a freak thing. It's one of those freak things, but don't worry about it. You're perfectly healthy, but it's never happened before. how far do you think it could advance your careers? Yeah, how could you take it? Would you own it and be the glowing nipple guy and try and get your 15 minutes in? Yeah, I think you would...

Would you try and hide it in shame? No, I think you would try and climb as high as you can, right? Because you know that deep down, you've got more than just these glowing nipples, right? Oh, yeah. You've got so much to offer. Yeah, you've been working... You've written a screenplay. You've written a screenplay.

You've been working on that competitive puzzle doing than you do. Yeah. How would you feel about going on? America's got talent and just taking off your shirt and just standing. Just waltzing around. Or however long they give you with your nipples glowing. Simon Cowell's like, I'm going to make you a celebrity. That's a really bad Simon Cowell.

But you know, you get it. Oh, but that's good. It was good. I mean, I always think that's a fun. A celebrity. Thank you, Simon Cowell. Thank you, so, yeah. Maybe it could be like a, what's at the opposite of a crisis team, like a PR crisis team?

You know, when someone's like getting canceled, allegations and they have this crisis management. It's at the opposite of that where it's like we've found a new guy this guy he's got glow on the dark nipples people I love this guy but in about two weeks

people are going to hate this guy we've got two weeks to milk these nipples for all they're going to milk these nipples they book a speaking tour they're going to get a book

ghost written straight away yeah come up with a catchphrase if you get a catchphrase day two, day three, you can really get some staying power. Look at that girl. What's her name? Hawk Tour Girl. Yes, yes, see?

I just said girl and you know. Put her in a movie. Did they? Yeah. Yeah. So they, oh yeah, that's right. They got, yeah, and so then they do a tour. That's so funny to put her in a movie. You know what people will love in six months? Did they call her tour the Hawk Tour?

They must. Yeah, surely. Surely. I mean, if they're not, then what the fuck are they doing? Hawk Tour. Yeah. Hock Tour. Glowing nipples. Yeah. Yeah.

Tua glowing nipples. But I think that would be a fun job to me. The PR company just really got to get it in quick. Because the Hulk Tudor, she did pretty good. Yeah. And there's the king of Ibitha or whatever his name is. It was just a man with a funny haircut that went viral. And now he gets like 10K for a club appearance.

I'm sure next week he won't get that anymore. Yeah, but that's a little 10K for one appearance. is pretty good. Yeah. Okay. So we've got him and then he and his life. I think that this is the future of like the economy, the future of employment or whatever it is. It's like in the future with the hunger of the internet for any kind of novelty,

anything that you have about yourself that is even remotely unique, at some point, you will be able to turn that into a little bit of celebrity. And that will give you like this brief moment where you get as much money as you, can. How much money you can get in that two week period or whatever. That's the rest of the money. That's it. That's the money you have for the rest of your life. It's at least like 99% of it where it's like you get some runoff maybe from cameos and stuff. People order ironic cameos. Harvesting what you can in that brief. Making hey, why the sun shines. While the nipple shines. Yeah, while the nipple glows. Yeah.

Okay, we need a new idea Yes Let's see A fisherman's friend, Al I mean I don't think I've ever had one Oh, this is your first time? Yeah Great, you gotta hate it

Twist and shout They're way less awful than I remember than being Did we ever, we did this on the fungus ones? Yeah, well you've matured, right? I guess so, yeah, I've grown into it Pallets Become Refined

Did we do this, is Twist and Shout a song about not lifting a box correctly yeah that's good yeah yeah I love was a song about not lifting a box correctly is that the Beatles

Twistin shout yeah I don't know look it feels like I may have said this before What about a man named Tristan shout and he's a dance teacher Yeah That's good

I mean something Jordan said earlier it was about how like dance auditions are like a free dance class when they do the dance audition for a Broadway show and this would be a really good way to maybe, you know, if you don't want to spend the money to get aerobics classes or whatever at the gym, go along to these sort of open casting calls and do the dance routine audition.

You don't have to be good at it, but this is a way that you can just live that little bit cheaper on, you're in the big apple. Yeah. New York. New York, the big apple. Is there a big orange? California.

They've got an orange county. It's true. I know, but. Mildura. You know what I'm asking? Deljura, they grow oranges. I bet they've got a big orange in Mildjewa. Any other cities that are known as the big and then it's a fruit.

Big easy. Yep. But that's not a fruit. Does that have to be a fruit or is it? Has to be a fruit? Oh, it has to be a fruit. I didn't hear that bit. Okay, yeah, the big fruit.

Can it be a vegetable? You got one that's a vegetable? Well, no, but I didn't know the parameters of the game, you know? I mean, I think it's one of those games that we're not having any answers to. Big cheese? Is that something? It's not a vegetable. Big cheese, that's a person.

That's a person, yeah. Okay. A hypothetical person. It's a guy going to adopt a dog. To a what? Going to adopt a dog. Adop a dog, yeah. A dog adopper dog.

It's called Adop a dog Adop a dog Welcome to Adop a dog The Adop a dog The Adop a dog shop Oh you want a doper dog Oh a dog Yeah

So he's going to adopt a dog He's going to adopt a dog And he says And then the dog whispers to him I know where to find a hundred dollars He's like I want to get that dog He goes to the county

He says I'm going to get that dog there And say What are the dog tell you. You tell you he's going to help

me find it sounds like the set of like a street joke the dog doesn't

know where to find a hundred dollars yeah and then and then the guy

goes oh all right um then the guy the person who was going to adopt the dog they leave

and then but they look around and the the guy uh who's running the adoption

thing he goes over to the dog and he says tell me where 100 fucking dollars is. So you're going to tell these people? You're like, well, you

adopt me? No, just struck and tell me where it is. That's good. Hey, the dog actually, you know where 100 dollars is? No, no, he says that to everybody. You just want someone to adopt him. He's a liar. Don't believe a word that dog says. I think it'd be fun to

adopt a lying dog. Yeah. You know? Especially one that could speak. Yeah. I guess you've got to be able, first you've got to be able to speak before you can lie. Yeah. Do you think a dog can lie to you? Oh, for sure.

My cat lies me all the time. Yeah? Yeah, yeah. Because, all right, so you'll feed her. And then, so we've got two cats and they'll be fed. And then, you know, if I'm home by myself, feed the cats, then I go, my partner will come home. Your cats are screaming, going, they're doing their dinner scream. And she'll be like, did you feed the cats?

They're like, yes. And she'd be like, they're trying to trick me. Yeah. My cat got so fat because I had a roommate, the house I lived in last, who would just get tricked by my cat every single day. Every damn time. Because I work nights most of the time. So I'd come home, feed the cat at like five in the morning, feed at 5pm. But in the middle of the day when I'd be asleep, she would just scream at my housemate and pretend she hadn't been fed so he'd give her lunch. And she was eating three meals a day. And she got really fat.

One time we left the house for a few days, we left my dog to be babysat by a friend that we didn't know all that well but they were like they were house sitting and they're looking after the dog yeah and um and and we got home uh after a few days and we're like how wasn't it was like oh it's great it's weird how your dog eats out of a spoon they're like what and you're like you know how she only eats out of a spoon and we're like no she doesn't but apparently the dog had been refusing to eat out of her bowl and the person for whatever reason had decided to start feeding her with a spoon, the dog had really liked it.

And so she assumed that's how we feed the dog with a spoon. You think it would have left a note? Yeah. We would have mentioned her. That's not something you assume. And certainly it's... What a thing to try too. I know. She's going, oh, this dog's not eating. I'm sure it has nothing to do with the fact that I'm a complete stranger in your house and your masters are gone and you're probably out of

sorts. I think it's because I'm not feeding you with Spoon! I think it was the first thing they tried to get them to eat? This is the first thing. No, I don't know, but I feel like they went to it pretty early. Well, I think going to it all is too early. Yeah. But then to assume that that must be what we do because the dog likes it so much.

Have you spoon fed your dog since? Is a treat? No, we never did. It wasn't required. It wasn't required. Liederhausen is like some of the only pants. I don't know, wait, that have, like, built-in suspenders, right? But then I guess there's the...

The overalls? You wear overalls, right? Dungarees. I've worn over, I don't know if I wear overalls. I feel like, yeah, me, you got overalls energy. Oh, thank you, I think. Adam was wearing overalls just before. Maybe he'd be getting us confused because he was sitting where I'm sitting.

Yeah. You're wearing overalls right now, aren't you? No, no, that was an hour ago. Yeah. Lidohausen. Yeah, is that what they're called? Yeah, I think so. Do you think it has anything to do with a hose, that word?

Yeah, I think it does It means leg hose Yeah Yeah, I bet But I think hose is like hosiery Like stockings And that's

I'm sure that is where the word hose Like a cube Yeah From as well Okay So, you know It's all

It's all Has hosery in compass Is it just tights and stuff? I think it's mostly tight Stalkings Maybe socks Make it into hosiery That doesn't seem right

I mean it could be I don't know Yeah I think if I think Hosery I think just stockings And that's it what about let's see okay

what about the hosery and it's a shop that sells stuff that is related to hoses is that good it doesn't feel very good what about a guy what about guys who put stockings over their head when they go into a burglary right that's good

it's a good look it doesn't really obscure you enough I mean has this been done where like the guys pull the stockings over the heads the two criminals but they haven't chopped the stockings legs in half Yeah, that's good. Stuck, next to each other

and the same pair of stock. And they're like, you've got to cut them in half. Yeah, that's good. Yeah, I like that. Yeah, that's good. I haven't seen it. I'm sure it's been done. I haven't seen it.

I think it's good. They bang their heads together. I mean, these guys are real clasas. Yeah, a couple of dofuses. Oh, or maybe they do it with Christmas stockings. Oh, yeah. Yeah, they can't see out of them. Yeah, yeah.

Or like a pair of tights. Wrong kind of stockings. Yeah, wrong stockings, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You know what? Stocking stuffer. Yeah.

That's what they should call legs. Yeah. That is a good name for legs. And, you know, wouldn't that be great? Your child's a cannibal. What do you get him for Christmas? It's a perfect. A leg.

A human leg. A human leg. Perfect stocking stuff. That's good, yeah. Cannibal Christmas. Perfect stocking. Legs are the stocking stuffer. Yeah.

Cannibal. Cannibal kid. Yeah. A cannibal kid. God. It's very own leg? Oh my God, that must be like his first leg. A whole leg for a kid?

Yeah. I mean, don't you reckon you would do if you found out your kid was a cannibal and that eaten human meat for them? Do you think you'd support them through it? Yeah. You have to, right? You got it. I mean, kids these days, they get everything they want, right?

And they'll pester you until you give them more human flesh. Yeah, they get the hunger for it. Are you going to say no? Yeah. No one can really say no to their children these days, this generation. Yeah. So then what do you do? What do you have to say?

Yes. No human flesh until you've finished your vegetables. Catch your kid eating some human flesh and said, oh, you're going to have to smoke a whole human. You have to eat the whole body. Have to smoke a whole human and then eat the beautifully. sloak roasted meat I mean

the trope of like gonna make you smoke the whole pack of cigarettes is a beautiful thing to use as a comic device Yeah You're like that You find them eating human meat

And you have to make them eat the whole man Yeah Hmm It's just okay Yeah I mean it does Yeah Where to get the man from

eating meat and he's got to eat the whole man really is the most exotic meat you've ever eaten I tried to eat horse in Vietnam but I only found it twice and both times I was feeling not in the mood to eat horse like one was before a hike and I felt kind of sick I don't want to eat a horse barn me right now That sounds weird

I'm so sick I couldn't eat a horse That's good Yeah That's funny I'm so I'm so not hungry I couldn't eat a horse That's a sketch

For sure Oh yeah Yeah oh yeah If sperm made is a sketch I'm not hungry I'm so not hungry I couldn't eat a hearse Yeah

I'm more and more Is that good I'm so hungry I could eat a hearse Huh That's what a cannibal would say Yeah No, well, that guy from Guinness World Records who sort of slowly ate a whole motorbike.

Yeah, I don't know about those stories. How does that work? It's hard to get verified for that. Yeah. I mean, you're pretty strict. Exactly right. It would be hard to get verified because, like, that's, how do you monitor that?

Sifting through the poo, maybe. Yeah. Guinness Booker World Records comes around and sifts through your poo. It costs so much money. I don't know if you ever looked into getting a Guinness World Record. It's like thousands and thousands of dollars. You've got to fly them out there to wherever.

And then you've got to pay all their expenses. You've got to pay the hotel and all their food and everything. And then there's another fee to get them to be there with the clipboard. I think it's easier to just go to... It's like a $10,000 thing. Why not just pay yourself a trip and go out to Ireland and do your underwater polo stick? Yeah, I think you still have to pay the... Yeah, you're right.

You could just fly over there. Yeah. But then you have like, you want the home ground advantage, I think. Oh, yeah. You don't want to how the underwater seascape is different in Dublin. Definitely be some that they don't have to pay for. Like, for example, if you're the world's tallest man or whatever, they've got to get you in the book.

So they're paying. Yeah, yeah. They're covering their own company. Yeah, you're right. Because you're like, you know what you're sitting on there as the world's tallest man. Yeah. The world's tallest man or the world's shortest man. Yeah.

Because they've met. for Guinness, right? Because it's, I guess, interesting to see them next to each other. Do you reckon they're making money, enough money to live off being the world's shortest man? I really hope so. Yeah, I hope so, too.

I hope they're making heaps. A couple of photo shoots for, like, ads, I hope. Yeah, get us some sponsorship, some spawncon. Yeah, I mean, I guess, you know, they probably even make a little bit of money from Guinness. Maybe. Do they get royalties? I don't know if they get royalties,

but they might be able to go like, Okay, you got to give me a... Come on. You got to give me... You go to the Guinness headquarters with your hat in your hand. Come on, man. I made you what you are.

Give me a couple bucks. How about a guy who gets... Well, he's sick and not getting any respect, so he goes to Turkey to get those leg extensions. Is that a real thing? Yeah. Okay. And then he becomes the world's tallest man?

The legs are so long and brittle. Wow. Like that. they're not quite healed yet. No, and they're so like, would they be brittle or would they be sort of floppy? Like, it'd be like, um... Initially, I think they're floppy and then they heal up. And they heal up.

And you can get your stiffness back in your... You probably want to extend these upper thighs like that, right? Rather than the lower one, because there's more like muscle all the way around. Yeah, the lower thigh. The calf is the lower thigh. Yeah, well, it is. The ground thigh. Yeah.

Thigh south. And he, but then he's like, look, this, you know, this isn't, this wasn't, this one in good surgery and so and he's so embarrassed to be seen in front of the previous

tallest man and then he realizes he's not going to be able to stand right so he's the tallest man

but he just does it laying down he's the longest man the best we can give you his longest man and go I'll take it I'll take it

I'll take it that's actually the book it's good world's longest man that's nice I think we've already

come up with a long man already today. Well, it's a different kind of long man. What was the last long man? It was... A long con.

Long con, but it's a really long con the fruder. It was a difficult time in our lives. Yeah. That's good. I mean, the fact that we're still making progress is remarkable. Yeah, yeah, you're in the home stretch. Yeah, yeah, baby.

What a mere 22? Yeah. Let's see. Sorry. All I've got in my head is the word calm. Calm. Yeah.

I paid, there's the calm app. Yeah. And it's like, it was like 90 bucks a year. But it was good because Matthew McConnorhey did a little story time. Yeah. I just listen to that every night. Oh yeah. Just spent 90 bucks a year to listen to Matthew McConaughey.

Did it do anything for you? That was incredible. It did so much to me. Was it a good story? What was the story? I can't remember. I would always fall asleep. Right.

It's such a good voice. He has this great book, well, it's a very strange book, his autobiography. And you know what? I bet you slept all night, all night, all night. That's good. That's a sketch for him. I mean, I do hope that at the end he said, he probably said, good night, good night, good night. Yeah, you'd think so.

Quite work as well as all night, all night, all night. Yeah, you're going to sleep all night, all night, all night. That's really good. It's not an idea. It is an idea. That's a great sketch. Not a sketch. You guys are crazy.

There's more legs to that than. most of the other ones were done, the fart house I mean, Fart House became something Yeah, okay, Fart House is all right, okay,

Fart House is a stone called classic. It's because I just kept saying Fart House, Fart House, I think. Fart House, Fart House. You keep saying it enough. Like, you know, you say a lie often enough, it becomes the truth. Yeah, and you can't remember what's really.

What about like something where somebody, they say somebody uses an expression and then this guy takes it literally. And then it leads to him jumping to some conclusions So some guys are like, hey, man, we love your shirt like that.

The famous expression, we love your shirt. Oh, man, we love your shirt. They sort of making fun of it. Love your shirt, dude. Yeah. And then he's like, oh, my God. And he calls up his grandma. Hey, grandma, the guys did love it.

The guys loved it. And then poor grandma knits him another shirt. Yeah, she did a T-shirts. Did a T-shirts. Why isn't anyone doing that? It's a t-shirt. I mean, is the wool ever good on your bare skin? No.

Grandma, things are really looking up at work now. Yeah. I've got the respect of the guys, finally. You were right. This was the shirt that was going to do it, and I think... I'm so proud of you, and you're doing great at work, and you're going to make so many friends. Yeah, you know what, Grandma, I'm going to book the big hall. in my birthday this year

everybody's coming no no it's worth it it's just a small loan and I think this year's going to be yeah where someone turns up to my birthday party the year where someone turns out to my birthday party I was in

in high school was this kid and it was same age as me and we're in cooking class together and food tech and he's real grumpy I'm like you're right man he's like no one came to my birthday party I was like oh man that's brutal

yeah you should have invited me I would have come and he goes I did invite you I'm like no you didn't I didn't get an invitation or anything and he goes that's what everyone's saying I think that's probably some user error

because I did not receive anything oh yeah oh that sucks I think he might always have been lying. He's that kind of guy. Did you write down this sketch about the guy who says he's going to hire out the hall? Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm trying to write in a down there thinks that these guys are his friends.

I mean, there has to be a knitted shirt. It's the knitted shirt part of it, right? Like, does his grandmother call in a, like a fire alarm or something? And the fire engine comes to try, to the hall to put out the fire. And they're like, and he's like, oh, the fire. truck came to my birthday party. Maybe if it's a scout hall, maybe that's like it acts as like an emergency shelter or something.

She fakes a hurricane warning or something. Everyone in the town. Nuclear bomb. Yeah. Yeah, the missiles are coming. You've got to get to the scout hall. That's the rendezvous point. Yeah.

That's really nice. And everyone's there for his birthday party. Yeah, and he's got all the food and the cakes and stuff like that. Yeah, yeah. And they all say... And then the same jerk dudes go, oh, nice birthday party. Yeah.

Thanks, guys. Good. Yeah. Where's grandma? She couldn't make it because she died doing it. He died. Doing it.

Yeah, she had a heart attack faking a nuclear missile. But he's still so happy. He's happy. He's happy as Larry. He doesn't know yet. No, he doesn't know. How happy was Larry?

Yeah. Is it happy as a Larry? No. Happy as Larry. I think it's just happy as Larry. That makes more sense. I was like, what's a Larry? But I guess it's nothing.

I want to know this Larry guy. Like, was he really as happy as everyone? Like Larrakhan? Like the Aussie Larrakhan? Related to the Lariken? He's Larry's kin. Related to the Lariken. Huh?

I mean, is he almost like a Paliachi kind of character, right? Hmm. But, uh... Huck, do I want to get up to some shit. Yeah. Oh, there's the great larry kittens in town. Mm-hmm. Yeah. What about a guy who goes and sees the dentist and he can't help but keep slowly biting the dentist's hands? Oh. Oh.

Suck it on the fingers. I feel like I can't help when I get, I can't help but like chase them around with my tongue a little bit. It's like my tongue sort of goes with near where their hand is. And they're putting it here and I'm like, I don't know why. I'm not like licking their fingers, but I'm just keeping them company, I guess, with my tongue. I mean, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what would happen if you did bite the dentist? Pretty asked to leave.

Yeah. I mean, much the same as if you bite anyone, any professional. Have you been blackballed from all the dentists in the district? I've bitten all the best dentists. Yeah. I haven't meant to. I haven't meant to. Hmm.

Can't help it. Or I can get away with it once. Yeah, I mean, I can't. He's looking away for a second and he's got his hand in your mouth. You just give it a little nip. Yeah. He goes, oh, sorry, reflex. How many nips do you reckon you can get in before they?

Maximum two. Yeah, I reckon. The third, you're gone. I reckon they might, you know, this could be a trend that the teens could get into and they're like competing to see how many times they can bite the dentist before the dentist starts. Yeah, that's good. And then he has to put up a sign that's like a two nip maximum. We have a strict two-knit policy.

It turns out, because it's like a TikTok trend, but it turns out that it's all orchestrated by like Oral B or something to get the kids to go to the dentist to get braces and to make them money. Yeah, Oral B. Do you know what Oral B stands for? Do you know what the B stands for? Brush.

Little job. Oral brush. That's what Oral B is. Really? Yeah. I'm pretty sure. That's what it is. Oral brush. But they change to Oral B, because they change to oral B,

then they're like, well, then we can do toothpaste, or all P. Peace of paste. Yeah, come on, keep up. Oral F for us. They've got done all of them. Have they done those? Well, I guess. But isn't oral B already toothpaste?

Yeah, it's what I'm saying, but they started with the brush. They started with the oral brush. And then they were like, well, we've got to branch out to just drop the rush. Stop the rush. No rush. There's no rush. Take your time when you're brushing your teeth. No rush.

Or it'll be. Do you think that it really is possible for toothbrushes to wear out or get bad or whatever? What do you mean? I've seen it happen. Yeah, but they're still fine. Well, I think the problem. Well, they sort of curl up and go all weird. Yeah, but it doesn't get in there.

Yeah, but I feel like I've had a toothbrush so bad that you're brushing teeth and you feel like you're just rubbing the rubber, the plastic against your teeth. That's fine, that's good. That does the job. You can just chew on a stick. Kind of a caveman, that they used to do. Probably would actually be... I don't think it is better,

because I think we're having way more sugar than they were. Yeah, yeah. I like a significant margin, I think. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's see, okay. It's 5 o'clock, everybody. I know, I know, it's 5 o'clock. We only got...

Hey, it's 5 o'clock somewhere, huh? 20 left. Hey, how about this? Because it's 5 o'clock somewhere. How about some non-acoholic beers? Whoa. It's 5 o'clock somewhere, huh? Now...

You are... You really are The 5am Santa Claus Thanks man Whoa Sorry I probably should speak on the microphone I'm saving them I'm not drinking at the moment

So I'm getting really into ice tea Oh yeah So I'm juice Yeah That's all right Hey cheers Cheers thanks for doing this fellas Thanks for doing this

Look sketch count Damn What damn's close Whoa oh my God Okay we got We've got to get this done. We've got to get this done. Yeah. Cheers. Cheers, man. Okay. Guy.

Who? Well, let's do word at a time. Sketch word at a time. Is that going to be something? An hour to go. We can get this done in 22 hours. We get it done 22 minutes. Twenty two minutes. Don't we have 22 to go? Oh, you got 20 to go. 20 to go? Okay. These are all going to be really good sketch ideas. I'm very confident.

Have you done a word at a time sketch yet? No. Oh, okay. Start. left-handed Sailor Breaches Oh

Breaches what Breach is birth Or breaches like a whale Yeah It's up to you I suppose Britches Yeah Or he breaches a contract

Of some kind Okay That's it That's it Yeah you gotta keep it going I think That's not it I thought it was just a word

No no no We have to answer the questions What did he breach? I'm sorry You must have thought I was crazy. I did. Yeah, yeah.

I thought you had lost your mind. I said to Al, I said, what the hell is this guy doing? What's this guy up to? And he's got, and he's lost it. And he's still not saying a word. Can you believe this? You know, a left-handed doctor. Oh, yeah.

Or a left-handed, like, because, you know, left-handed people are more creative. Yeah. Does that necessarily mean that they're less sort of clinical and, like, specific? Yeah. I wonder, yeah, because there's more left-handed artists and stuff. they're less left-handed nerds

accountants What about a guy who's like going to see the doctor because he's worried about something that he's got that's a bit

less common like maybe he's got you know he's got red hair or something like that and he's like hey doc I'm concerned

about my red hair and he's like well you don't need to be concerned you know he's like well why are you concerned

he's like well you know it's rarer and we get picked on and he's like well you don't need to be concern you know um for example i am left-handed and he goes whoa really oh i gotta yeah oh yeah i mean that's fine i guess um do you i'm like go yeah oh yeah i'm like go he goes well why are you gonna do that

and he go oh i just it's nothing um um but do you think that you can actually do medicine I just, I think old school somebody hating left-handies Yeah But then, and then the doctor reveals himself To be actually really bad And a lot of stuff Would you reckon a left-handed doctor

Would have really good handwriting? Hey? Left-handed doctor would have a really good handwriting Oh And then you know you're in real trouble Yeah, then you're fucked, yeah Yeah I think my GP doesn't like me as a guy

He doesn't like you with him Yeah, I don't think he likes me at all He says a horrible sort of bedside manner He's okay He just seems like he Doesn't care Whether I live or die

I kind of like it It's good You know He doesn't sugarcoat it Is what's going on How can I help you Just no smile I've never seen this man smile

So tell him I get this thing in my skin He goes okay Yeah that's fine It's nothing All right Thanks man Tell you what it is

Because I'm always late He's really late And he's the only doctor in the world Who isn't He runs early He runs early. He gets him in, he gets him out.

Sometimes I walk in, and it's like at my appointment time, and he's in the front room, and he's, like, tapping his foot almost. It's like he and he's not, but it feels like he wants to be tapping his foot and checking his wrist. Tippy tap. Or his watch. Yeah. He's wrist watch. Yeah. How about this?

TV show. TV show, wristwatch. And it's just what's happening in the world of wrists. Maybe it could be, maybe it could be, maybe it could be. This week in wrists New Rolex came out There's a guy There's a guy in Sri Lanka

Who's got wrists that go the other way That's interesting They go all the way around or something They go all the way around or something I mean they kind of already do But you know He's got an interesting wrist Yeah

Arthritis Recent breakthrough In the treatment of carpal tunnel Yeah that could be good Wrist watch Yeah Okay And oh

and today we talk about being limp-risted and what that means and the historical context of it next week some wrist exercises to get your wrist good get your wrist in shape and now the weather

for wrists it is long-sleeve weather people cover those wrists yeah yeah what about a guy who uses way too much toothpaste for each brush. Really upsetting to think about.

There's one tooth at a time with a full load. Oh, I like that, but yeah, he really loads up and he does one and then he does a full other load over the top. Yeah, like a soft serve. Yeah. I do say, I do believe that, like, the way a lot of people brush teeth and seeing people brush their teeth is disgusting.

Yeah. You know, the way that people brush their teeth like in movies sometimes and stuff and you see like a bit of toothpaste all the way around, the ear and their mouth is quite open, is repulsive too. I once got told when I was probably 16. I was on a school trip with my good friend at the time and we're brushing our teeth together in the cabin sink.

We're brushing our teeth. And he turns to me and goes, I tell you what, Hayden, you brush your teeth like a bit of a freak. And I still don't know what he meant by that. I don't know what I do. It's so freakish. But I think about that every single day. Him and his family are the ones

are the freaks who are brushing. Maybe. He'll seem pretty normal. He might not have been... But, you know, you seem fairly normal as well. I know. Not when I'm brushing my teeth. Does Pete have the code to get in?

Just double checking. He has a message to me. Okay, no worries. And, um... If someone's going to do a no-show, it's going to be the 5 a.m. slot, right? It's all good. It would also be very easy to miss your alarm.

at that time. Yeah, because five is really, because if you're starting at four, you're like, well, I'm going to stay up. Okay. You're starting at five, you go, I guess to get up at four? Like a baker?

Let's see. You're going to sneeze? What's happening? No, no, I'm just trying to have a thought. I'm trying to have a thought. Yeah. Well, what do we have with a left-handed sailor who breaches?

Is that anything? Yeah, I mean, we, you know, we almost got into something. We almost did. I think I might not have ever confirmed the time with Pete. Oh shit I can stick around if you want me Or if you want to do some solo time

I'll do whatever you'll do whatever you need But did I ever I'm gonna stay up till 8 a.m. anyway Oh my God That's good I feel like I feel bad Yeah

He was gonna come on Yeah I thought like Amy had said that He was coming at some point maybe Hey I don't think I confirmed the time I put him in the calendar and I didn't

he said between you know at this early I guess you could just you could just send the message now just in case Hey you free right now yeah

yeah 5 am is a very funny slot to confirm to lock in without confirming that's gonna I'm sure he's fine for 5am what will be 18 well pardon me

that's okay all right let's see Okay Wolf Wolf hang on Okay What about a werewolf

But it's reverse And it's a wolf That's a man And he hates it Um And he's Yeah Okay so wait

He becomes a man And his life It just gets Like instead of sort of like It becomes like An accountant or something Scaring Scaring all his family

And friends And he's He's ostracized Very weak Yeah It's very weak. It's very nude, and then he, but then he speaks English?

Yeah, yeah, he becomes like a fully sentient man. Yeah. And he's like, and they make him become an accountant or something horribly boring. And that's his hell. Yeah. And then he's wolf, friends hate him. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, we can try. Okay, we can, well, I mean, it's not very good, but it's, uh... Yeah, yeah, reverse. It's one of the... Werewolf. Where man? Where man? who is a wolf

and becomes I'm just yeah, I'm just writing down sentences mostly. Yeah, yeah. Okay. What? Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh.

Yes. Unbelievable. You got two buckets. What? What's going on? There are the buckets. Pete, hello. Thank you.

I was just sending you a message because I looked at my calendar and I was like, I don't think I have a message, Pete, to say, come on at 5 a.m. No, I had to check Al's social. Oh, Jesus Christ. Oh, yeah, he would have been announced. This is the bucket.

Those are the buckets. There's one. for each of you. This is the buckets of knowledge. Oh, to put our heads in? If you need. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, uh, if you feel the need.

I haven't dipped in my head into... I don't know if you know this, but when Adam was here before... Yeah. I started putting my head in a bucket to try to have thoughts. Oh, God, okay. Let's see. Jesus Christ. Yeah.

Yeah, please. It just feels like you sort of... You can try and waterboard each other. You got all the materials to waterboard each other. If you can just If we're getting the foley of Andy Yeah He's really bubbling in there

He really is You meet just the most Charming chicken Yeah All right Yeah And And

You don't know You don't know what this thing is That you're feeling with this chicken But you know there's going to be an incredible like something this chicken is capable of incredible things and i mean i know we might have come up with a few sketches in this process where you leave your family you leave your family yeah okay and you hit the road with this chicken because you just want to see where the world takes it makes the world feel so full of possibility okay and you're out there with this chicken

and you just spent all your time just looking at it, looking at its plumage and just like, you know, it just seems so confident and to know what it wants. Yeah. Is the chicken speak or is just the aura?

And then I guess... It's just its aura. I think it's just its aura, but I think I guess whatever the relationship that you have with the chicken eventually devolves into a sort of a cult-like thing, but like you're sort of more or less

just like worshipping the chicken. Yeah. and uh and then oh where where's she going whenever the people around you're like you just care so much about what the chicken's doing and you think it's everything is so meaningful it's in great what a sketch idea it worked out yeah yeah i'll go i'll go in okay watch with the glasses on too i like that yeah i mean see better under there what is the um yeah i guess where do you get this chicken from i think it's if it just appears, you know? I think that's more exciting if you don't, you never find out where the chicken comes from. It's a ladder. Okay.

It's a really tall ladder. And, but it's, it's so convenient for getting down, you can, there's a button on the side. What are we doing? There's a button on the side of each,

of each thing that if you accidentally hit it, or if you hit it on purpose, all the things go down like this, and you slow. Oh, yeah. And you slide down like that. It's the, it's the, um... But it's very sensitive.

Speedy ladder. Yeah, the, the, speedy ladder. The quick, the quick, the quick drop. The quick drop, the, uh... The splatter ladder ladder. Mm. Yeah. It's not really like, you don't want to be advertising that you're splattering people.

Yeah, you're okay. I got to go back in. I got to find something else. Instant polls. Yes. Two poles. Mm. Mm.

I feel like there's a really good pun to be had for this ladder. Yeah, it feels like it's right around the corner. What is there? Like there's step ladder, extension ladder. Stepless ladder. Yeah. Slip ladder. Slip ladder.

Yeah. Away from heaven? Yeah. Oh, that's good. Alistair, anything? Oh, there's a dad. Oh, yeah? Does he leave his family?

Oh, no, no. No, he says... Um, it was a, you know, You know, as a dad, maybe you go down it. I don't know. He just wants to tell you he's always loved how you didn't need to be told that he loves you all the time. Oh, that's really good. Yeah.

Yeah. You know, son, all my life, you know, I just want to you know that, like, I haven't always said this. Deliberately. Yeah. Yeah. And this isn't easy for me to say, but I've always loved that you don't need me. That you're so independent. To say I'm proud of you or that I love you.

It's sort of extremely horrible, really. Don't ask that of me as a dad. From the bottom of my heart. It feels like we're just friends and that's great for me. That's where I want this relationship for me. Would you like a non-acoholic beer? I'd love one. Thank you.

Okay, wait. Okay, I'm going back in. All right, you're going back here. To me, you're the perfect son because it barely feels like you're my son at all. Thank you. Should we get out of here? What do you want me to do? Oh, you can stick around.

I mean, honestly, we love having you here. This is going great. What we're doing with these buckets To be like a sign of desperate Sure I just felt it was so close I was excited to be a part of it Yeah of course

Um okay Family saying grace Are you dunking your head in this one as well Oh yeah I was dunking my head in there earlier Oh you're in your own bucket Well I didn't really I had just briefly got a bucket For like there was like a five minute

Like maybe five 10 minute period I didn't realize you were bringing buckets And I love that you did it's like I didn't know I thought it's gonna be a surprise No no, no, it was. It was.

I apologized that at some point I got desperate and I was like, stick your head in the bucket. I was like, I need to do something. Yeah.

Okay. Okay, wait. So what about family saying grace? Yeah. And, um, but, um,

they do it before everything. You know, and you know, we got to be, but they're kind of a bit like, they're a bit, uh, passive aggressive about how God actually isn't,

they're not giving them as much as they feel like they need. Yeah. So I think you're providing you know this meal that I bought with my job that pays minimum wage because I can't get ahead I got that bung leg that I was born with God

thanks for these thanks for these children you know we're lucky I guess that we have I guess that we have each other at least there's a lot of us a lot of mouths to feed a lot of mouths to feed thank you for that

it would be it would be so great if you know better stuff was happening and things just you know even one thing would fall in our lap but I guess we'll keep trying

keep waiting we'll keep talking to you every night and hope that you you use that to see hopefully they can find some mercy in your heart love maybe

be some generosity like we have with our kids that we have to feed him every day I wasn't really listening at the start of this I had my head in a bucket but this is grace and using grace as an opportunity to be really passive aggressive towards your children yeah and to God I think too

towards all I think towards all yeah for not giving them enough I mean imagine if that's what he responds to that's terrific yeah yeah we finally find a way to get through to him and actually get some goddamn action around here.

If somebody tries to get through customs by walking really slow. People say a lot that you can sneak into the movies if you walk backwards past the usher. I've heard that multiple times. You walk backwards. You walk backwards. And then if anyone looks, you start walking forwards, I guess.

And then you keep walking. It always looks like you're constantly walking out. I can't remember why. I brought that up, but I feel that was related somehow. I think it's a really good idea. And I think it's not just movies. I think that could be used for all best. Oh, for customs.

Yes. So you walk backwards. You go, I've already gone. I'm actually going the other way. As soon as they look at you, you start walking. They look away. You walk away. It's smart.

Smug a lot of drugs that way. Do you think there's anything more that could be done with fortune cookies? It's like a medium for delivering information. Yeah, like a telegram. Yeah, a telegram. It would have really, like, soften the blow, like, war times, you know? But it's inside. Watching cookie for Mrs. Graham.

That's really good. The son's missing in action. Oh, God. She just gets it from the Chinese shop. No, I think it probably comes to your house. Yeah, yeah, I think it's, yeah. It's like an envelope now. Yeah, oh, it's the envelope.

It's the edible envelope. Now, that's perfect. Yeah. Yeah, it is an... Yeah. Be inside anything. Like, as we try to go towards, like, a more paperless society, there's no reason that envelopes couldn't be replaced with a pit of bread.

Yeah, why not? Yeah, all this... Oh, the snails would have a field day, though. I don't think about the snails. Because they already eat, they already eat, yeah. It's not even food. I know. It's not even food.

They're not going to... Yeah, they won't be able to believe. Really? I got ice cream the other day. With our elves there. We got ice cream. And, uh, yeah, we got ice cream. And, and I got ice cream.

I just was really having a moment of admiring the cone as a delivery system to ice cream. It's just very, it's so sad, it's very few foods where the whole thing, hot dogs would be another one, and I guess sandwiches, there's no implements, it's just the thing is what it is, and then you eat it, and then it's all gone. Then it's all gone, you've eaten everything, there's nothing left. There's no evidence. All that's left is like maybe a napkin. Perfect crime.

It's great, yeah. Nothing to prove. It's like going into the sauna and stabbing somebody with a knife made out of ice. Yeah. Yeah. Nothing to, yeah, no knife, no crime. No crime. Yeah.

So. You then ate? No, you're in the sauna so it melts. Yeah, yeah. The ice cream? No, the knife. The knife made of ice. The ice knife.

You do also have an ice cream. You do eat the ice cream. You're right. No, I see where you're coming from. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's in the other hand, though. But in this hand, you've got a stabbing hand and that's got an ice sword. What about edible napkins?

Is that anything? It's not really a sketch. I think it's more of a billion-dollar idea. I mean, I think, do you eat them before or after your mock? Well, I think, I think, well, no, it's for a face, for the face, I think, right? So you have these edible napkins, have your ice cream. Because I always get ice cream all over my face. Yep.

And then you go, you know, as you would, and then hop. And it's delicious. It's like, it's like a soft cone. What if it was made out of like woven or even knitted pasta noodles? Yeah, but wet. So you, they absorbent, though? I guess they absorb sauce. Yeah, I mean, you're, it was.

absorbent ish and you'd definitely be able to get a good wipe on like i don't i don't i think that you just have need another napkin for your napkin though yeah maybe some kind of rice rice paper eat the napkin oh but you're saying after you finished eating that napkin there'll be more stuff on your face the guy the napkin you just ate yeah sorry it's wiping on your sleeve it's a guy who is convinced he knows that his neighbor is responsible for 9-11 because he wanted to get a better view Wow. It's like people who cut down the trees on the foreshore, right? So they got a better view of the ocean. Yeah. Yeah. I had a perfect view of the New York skyline, except for those two big towers in the way. Those two pesky towers. Yeah. I like saying the other buildings.

He knows about this. He knows because he's, yeah, he knows he was just, I heard him, I heard him planning and stuff like that. I know he was just, he was so angry about it. his view getting blocked by those towers. Is it kind of like a rear window thing where it's like they're going insane trying to prove it and stuff? I haven't seen rear window. No, but rear window would be the perfect name for this movie. Or maybe it's called front window because that was the window that he had a great view

of the New Look skyline out of. Front window, yeah. If it weren't for those two big towers. Maybe we wanted to see the Central Park. Yeah. I don't know what the geography. exact geography of... I mean, that would be somewhere where...

Central parks in the middle, the towers are down further south, weren't they? Yeah, they were by the water, I think. Was there something before... Sorry, I have no idea. They're in ground zero. Yeah, that's true. Is there anything?

They built them, right? Why would you build them there? Is there anything right before? It seems like a recipe for disaster. Edible napkin? Do you something around there? Oh, I was talking about weaving one out of pasta noodles. Yeah.

I think I would be good to, like, be able to get something that is, a woven sheet of noodle. They would obviously weave them when they're soft and dry them out like they do and then you can pop that into the water and soften it up again and get a nice, malleable, floppy woven pasta napkin.

That's more of a fancy restaurant, I think. It feels like something that you could then wrap stuff up in as well. Maybe it doesn't have to be a napkin. You can wrap you know a sausage yeah a couple of bread little breadsticks yeah you know some slices of cucumber in there or something and you've got it you've got yourself an entirely new meal you got yourself the fabled Italian um rice paper roll yeah okay you can wash your face with that you can wash your face yeah after the guy that we should stop you talked about faces yeah

but there's no reason why this napkin couldn't just be a whole body thing. Oh like you wear it like over your whole body like a knitted doily. Or just or you instead of like you're on the go you don't have time to have a bath. Yeah. Yeah when you just wear. Just pop on your

oh like like a like a pasta mumu. Well now it's a move yes yeah you just like you're at a music festival and you pull out the wet wipes instead of that you get your yeah your pasta bag. Yeah we got we got 10 ideas. We can do this let's let's get it moving.

Right, okay It's happening, Alice I know it's happening It's okay, you don't need to worry about it You have to do the thing Where you read out all of the sketches Oh absolutely That's a very important part of the process

It's got to be an hour right there It's what everyone's looking forward to Everybody wants Everybody's going to go to sleep Recap and then you have to explain to me whatever one is I cannot believe we are within 10 minutes 10 minutes

We can do 10 minutes And I also can't believe that We did it at all yeah this is crazy have you counted how many sketches in total that you've done I mean this is two years worth of sketches

we can't slow down at this point can't even talk about numbers right now we're not saying a verb or a noun you're not allowed to talk I mean of course he was saying verbs and nouns that's what I'm saying you can't deal with this later

what about this a penguin who is going to the dance. Yeah. Wow. Is that anything? The banquet is going to dance.

It sounds like the plot for happy feet. It is kind of that. Oh, yeah, that's a, yeah. You just said the plot for happy feet. Shit, okay. That's okay, that's okay. Okay, so cold play. Yeah.

All right. They have. Oh, yeah. Okay. How did these guys do it? It's hard. It's a lot like you're doing it right now. Can I tell you a funny rumor that I heard about Chris Martin?

To hear a funny rumor. And there's no way that it's... So the thing that I like about this is that there's no way this is true. But the rumor is true. The fact that this rumor exists is true, which is... Yeah. It's definitely a true rumor. Yes.

There's a rumor going around that they travel with these puppets. So there's one of their music videos that's like a lot of puppets. And there's a rumor. amongst the crew I guess that Chris Martin fucks the puppets which obviously he doesn't of course he doesn't but that's so funny that people are saying that

it's great yeah I mean you know what he he calls it when he has sex with an inanimate object he calls it a bit of cold play yeah well I think cold play is a fetish thing already oh really I think

yeah where you like you sit on your hand no that's number that's the The ghost, I think. I think it's like a ice stuff, a lot of ice stuff. Oh, and you're like, oh, you cold, fill your limbs down until they feel like, feel cold like a dead body or something. No, what? No, no, no, not that at all. There's some ice on the nipples or whatever, you know?

That's what it is. That's what it's named after, I think. Yeah, right. I'm pretty sure. Puppets nipples are always. Yeah, ice cold. Rock. Yeah, rock hard.

But it's also, you said puppets? Yeah. Like it's multiple puppets I think there's one The rumor is that there's one that he likes One special one girl one from the music video Oh yeah Just a girl puppet

Maybe is a version of his wife or something I don't know Okay Does he have a new wife? I don't know Did he break up with Yes It's a band of Paltrow

Yes Yes They were famously They got divorced Uncoupled Ah Good for them And uh wait

Okay I mean ironically he did that And you would have been enjoying Having no strings attached Ah Now he's in this relationship. Yeah, lots of strengths. I mean, how do you feel about

a sexual marionette, you know? I don't feel great about it. There's like a French guy at the top that's kind of controlling it like that. Yeah, up above and it's sort of in the way that they do bouncing up and down on you sort of frolicing up and down your body in a very puppety kind of fashion. I mean, I do like it more. Actually, by the two things up there. Yeah, I like it more than actually with one of those sex dolls. That's just

kind of... Sure, just lying there. Absolutely. I mean, In that case, they can have been amazing stuff. Yeah. I think the idea of a sex marionette as opposed to a sex doll. Yeah, sex marionette. That's pretty horrible. That's what you've got an actual, there is a real life person in that that you're having sex with.

That's the puppet master. Yes. The puppet's just a proxy. Yeah. What was it? It's almost a kind of like telesex kind of thing. Not across a great distance. But it's in the same sense that a...

Telly sex? You know, like... What is telesex? Over the phone? It's not a word I've heard before. Well, not... Neither of I. Okay.

The telescope? Yeah, or the television. Remote, like, you know, being able to remote control some kind of sexual implement. Yeah, okay. Telesex. Yeah. Great.

That's what I was trying to say. Yeah. Yeah, I know. I know. I know. Yeah. I guess also I wonder if anybody could try and use

you know how you can use the tin can with the Yes I'm trying to have a thought Tin can with the string Yeah As like a telephone Because of the vibrations

I wonder if you could use that In a sexual manner Nice tight string Two tin cans You place one over your front genital Yeah Somebody talks into the other end And the vibrations

Go down the line Would you just go genital The genital and just the humping Transfers via the string I'll give you this I'll go to the bathroom again Oh okay Well you'll allow me to light right now

This using Yeah Tim can Tin can's For sexual things Just like we're using Chat GPT To be sexted

Oh that's what we should do Just go chat GPT For the last 10 ones That's easy Done The string Phone Phone sex

Technology Yeah It's a strong idea It is. I think that has to be cavemen Or maybe it's like post-apocalyptic or something Has to be post-apocalyptic or something Well, is there

You know, you're talking about sex But there are other ways of You know, communication, interaction You can do with your tin can Maybe surgery Oh wow, the first Use of that to perform the surgery Because they do remote surgery

Like in remote places Via technology and robots but sometimes that's not available Andy yeah and sometimes the doctor is three to four metres away but it's not realistic for them to be actually there yeah this is how we're able to can the string bend corners

like if you have like a pulley or like a just can it can it go around you would right fidelity it'd have to because the vibration would transfer to the maybe if it was just in like it was just held there with like a little spring or something like it was just hooked over

yeah just a ton of A tiny little bit, just one little, yeah, really thin hook. That could go around corners. Is there a way that you can signal boost? Yeah. I think the only way to have it go into the ear of somebody and then they have it on, yeah. Well, that seems, that's fun. Really loud.

Yeah. Signal boost or. But it's also hard to believe that that signal could go further down a string than it could just yelling through the air. I don't know, maybe. But you want to communicate in the software. Like, this is not for yelling, because you've already got yelling. Can I suggest an idea? Yes, I would love that.

I'm sorry, I forgot that I was going to take that back. No, no, no. What about, what would a reverse helicopter be? Thank you so much. You know, maybe, so it's something, you know, a helicopter is something that you need, like a permit or like a license for. What about, so that would mean a reverse helicopter, there's something that you throw

a permit or a license away for. And maybe it's like a big drill, you know, like those boring machines that they, they spin a big circle, but they go down and they suck shit up instead of flying. Really missing out on the underground part of vertical.

Yeah, yeah. There's a whole, there's actually more, there's more space the other way. And there is sky. Yeah. Goes forever. I mean, and then it's all landing

because you're in the land. Yeah, which is the opposite. You don't have to worry about takeoff. Yeah. It's a hard bit. Okay, so let's see. So what about, wait, wait, wait, what about this? You just, this is the opposite of a helicopter.

You take a license, you put it in the bin, and then you just continue to live. That's the opposite of an helicopter. So you don't die in a fiery crash. Yeah. Wow. Yeah, I mean, that's fantastic. Yeah, you like that? Yeah.

Like, the absence of a helicopter is the opposite of a helicopter. Oh, in some ways. It's not a satisfying opposite, though. Okay, okay, okay, okay. How do you feel about calling the Australian dollar the kangarooble? That's all right. It's all right. And in fact, I think that's probably what we should call our dollar.

Yeah. Yeah. Because, I mean, dollar, the Americans already have that. And we down here in Australia, we hate the Americans, the Yanks, the Zippos. Yeah. You know, and like, maybe it's a way that we show our... Australian independence and... I mean, exactly.

I mean, we're still sort of somehow we're attaching ourselves now to the Russian currency with the roubles component. Are we? Yeah. It's completely different. It's a completely new concept. What about this?

Coala Lumpur. It's a country or city, city. And it's full of koalas. But they do the stuff that Kuala Lumpur is famous for. They climb up a really big tower Instead of up the eucalyptus tree

Yeah AL The chlamydia that they have Yeah Does that cause lumps? It could I wonder if they're koala Whompas

Coala lumpas Yeah Coala Can I write down kangarubles The kangarooble Yeah And then the news report would be Oh the kangarooble

Is bounced again Which could either be a good thing Or a bad thing rebranding of the That was the tank Yeah the tank was okay Are these the think tanks

Is that the These are the think These are the think buckets Yeah right Could afford the tank The water bucket The water think buckets Yeah

A portable Alist George William Trombley Birchall Somebody you know Somebody's asking a guy At the top of the crane If he can Just let me

Let me update Have a go Oh yeah And he's like You've got to have a permit And he goes Oh, shut up Yeah, oh

Yeah, come on man Let me have a go Yeah, big man Oh yeah Big man Mr crane man Why let me go on the crane Oh just let me have a go

Let me lift one What do you think You're above me or something Yeah above everybody Oh this You lift a big thing of bricks You can't ever go on the crane But you can never go on the pigeon

And it's a smaller stouter Lifting thing A version of a lifting thing Aver lifting thing Boo. No, just let me have a go with the crane. First goal, he knocks over. Oh, he smashes the stuff down.

He's like, oh, you shouldn't have let me have a go. Oh, I'm going to sue you. They still use wrecking balls on a crane. I feel you said that in movies and TV and cartoons, but that seems like a crazy way to demolish a building. Knocking buildings down in general never seems like a good idea. But I am also like these buildings, these measurements, these massive buildings that we've got now

they're not going to fucking last forever yeah do we actually have any idea what we're going to do when these no one has any idea what's going to happen in 200 years no everyone thinks 50 years ahead max it's absolutely enormous building does feel like you could you could put down the crane stuff

okay the what stuff the crane stuff yeah okay we're just got to get ideas in yeah yep if it feels it would be easier to demolish a building piece by piece top down rather than just He's never found it more difficult to, like, accept ideas right now than right now.

That's not true, Alistair. Okay. But I also do feel like I want to end, you know, with... We did just write down kangaroo. Yeah, yep, that's true. That's true. The koala Lumpur didn't get a go? Okay.

Try sucking in. See what happens. I wouldn't. The noises are really good. I hope it's coming through. I love the choice to keep the glasses on, too. I really am enjoying it a lot. Yeah, it's really bold.

It's a really strong choice. Alistair, would you like to be in charge of the computer keyboard? Reverse glasses. It's a glass shield, but only your eyes are exposed. Yes. And then... It's to protect the rest of your beautiful face. Yeah.

Hey, what about... We've got really strong eyes for the strong-eyed when weak-faced. I worry that men these days don't have strong enough. Maybe it's, if you have a blurry face normally, it brings it into focus for everyone else. Yeah? You've got a blurry face normally. Yeah. So you have a sheet of glass.

Your eyes are fine, so you have the eyes cut out. Right. And so the blurriness, it gets focused by the glass, and then you have a... Right. To an observer, it's a prescription lens for your face. Yeah, right. The observer, you've got a crisp, clear face. Because your face is blurry.

Yeah. Or it's too small. Or it's too small. Yes, you've got a really small face, yeah. You've got a short-sighted face. Accentuate some of your features. When they were inventing the telescope, yeah.

And how long do you think it was before they put it up somebody's butt to give the first colonoscopy? Well. And who was the Galileo? of looking up the bottle. Does that actually help with the colonoscopy? The telescope? Yeah.

Well, I mean, whatever they, whatever they did the first colonoscopy. It's a kind of scope, I suppose. It would have been some kind of lens-based implement. Yeah, looking in there. Wouldn't have been a... I don't know if it would have been this wide. No, well, I mean, in the early days, before they could get the, you know, really slim it down

to the kind of tiny size we have today. Yeah. You know, and I think... I reckon, yeah, someone would have got bored just put the other end in. You know what I think... Not for anything scientific. This one would have been like a traffic cone.

Mm. Right? Because then they would have been able to like just taper it on. Yeah. Yeah. And then shine a light in there and kind of be like, oh, what's... Probably what it was. Yeah.

Yeah. Just having a look in there with a torch or something like that. Having a little... Am I right in this down? Wouldn't have been a torch. It would have been like a gas lantern or something like... Yeah. Just a match.

So cold play. Looking inside of us. You know how there was like that Wutang album? Yeah. Oh, what's his face bought? The guy that everyone hates. Martin Schrelly. Srelly, yeah.

The only copy of it. Yeah. So could you just do that with Coldplay? Yeah. Is that you just buy the rights to all of their concerts forever. And just have them play in a room and you lock the room. Yeah. Make sure they've got food and stuff.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's humane. Don't be cruel. Right. And then you lock the room and then you leave. Right. And so they're still performing, right? Is it a stadium or is it just quite a small room at this point?

Or it probably has to be a stadium for them to feel more at home. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's true. I don't know. It is their habitat, isn't it? It's like keeping a lion in a tiny cage at the zoo. It's inhumane. You can't keep... Chris Martin and all of his friends.

Performing at a small garage-sized venue. I think what you would do, right, Similar to a zoo, it would be a small room, but the sides would be painted like crowd. So you trick Chris Martin to thinking he's in his natural habitat, but he's not. Yeah, the Trump thing. I feel like if you were like a person who doesn't like cold play,

there would be some sort of version. Which I'm not that person. No, no, no, no. But there would be some sort of a version of a, and I know you have a version of that. But like, that thing of like where Wu Tang released only one copy of an album, right? and only one person bought it, right? There would be a version of that

where you say something really mean about Coldplay, either they release one copy of an album and nobody buys it, or they release a million copies of an album and one person buys all of them so that nobody else has to listen to it, something like that. You know, if you really wanted to nail the art

saying a mean thing about Coldplay, this is a this is a fertile ground in which to play i haven't i haven't worked out actually how to structure the joke yeah what about this yeah go guys nana walks over to his house and she's like pissed she's like i sent you another birthday card to your house and oh where's my response this is 40 years in a row where's my response i'm gonna fight you and then his nana comes to fight him yeah i think it's really great What else do I have to do? I'm going to have to fire.

Yeah. Like that. And she starts swinging. She's got deer. Me. Alan. Yeah. Yeah.

Then on her toes, happy. Mm. Birth. Yeah, happy birth. Yeah. And then in the elbow it says day. Does that suppose that there's a, so when you go into the news agent, that there's an extra section that's a thank you to all of the cards that are in the newsagent?

That's an untapped market. A card for every occasion saying thank you for the happy birthday card. Thank you for the get well soon card. Thank you for the happy sixth birthday card. Yeah, yeah. You really love me. Double the sales. You would not write me a card, Nana, so I don't have to write one back.

That's the greatest gift you could give me to not make me have to do this, to go to the letterbox. It wasn't a gift I was giving you. Well, I want to return the gift. Give you a card. Give me and I want a gift. No, you're going to get upper-cutted. That's the gift.

You're going to get uppercutted. Yeah. That's your new gift. And grateful grandson. All right. Now we need three more sketch ideas. Kiss your nana's fist. Kiss.

Kiss. Kiss, kiss, your nana's fist. Kissed by a rose fist. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah. You going back in the bucket? You go back in the bucket

Oh yeah Why don't we go back to farts You know Let's fish where the fisher You know About a man Who farts Yeah

So much How much does he vote Well He farts so much That he He has a significant Carbon impact Yeah

Yeah He's carbon ass print He's carbon ass print He has I can't eat a special dye Like the grass fed Oh with the seaweed Yeah the seaweed

Yeah What about Okay They should make the beach out of towel That's yeah they should Yeah Yeah get rid of all the pave it over Did we already come up with a pair of running scissors

Oh That's good Safety scissors for running I don't know for sure whether we did or we did... Like this is an Olympic event? Is it scissors that are made for running with? They're designed to run with.

And you don't have to run with them, but you absolutely can. You would take over the market so fast. What about a pair of scissors, if you've already done the running, a pair of scissors with handles on both sides so you can never pass it the incorrect way. There's blades in between the two handles.

Yeah, yeah. So it's the same scissors. There's the blades, but the ends have handles. There's no reason why there couldn't be another handle on the other. There's no reason why they couldn't be another handle on the end of those blades. Still slicing in the middle. Why can't it just be two sets of blades with two handles like this? That's what I'm saying.

And that's the safest scissors out there. It's the perfect scissor. Yeah. The fulcrum is in a different spot. And you could run with that for sure. It would still work if the forcrum was in the middle. It still works. But it's just you get less.

They're not as powerful. Yeah, they're not as powerful. No, it actually would be more powerful. It's more powerful. It's more powerful. Well, it's design. in a way where it's more powerful. Oh, it's electric.

Yeah, or a motor, motorised. Yeah. It's gasoline powered. Gasoline powered, safety scissors. Yeah, yeah. You have to run to keep up with these scissors. Yeah. Does that count?

What is it? You don't have to run with these scissors because they have their own internal motor and wheels. Yeah, they power you. They drive along and you ride on top of them. Yeah, yeah. Whipping them. Charriot kind of situation.

What about a car on the same thing where you have to drink drive to drive it? It's like the opposite of an interlock you have to blow in and it only lets you start the ignition if you're six beers deep. Yeah, you have to keep on blowing in too

Yeah, you've got to be drinking the whole time Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, if you're blood out. I'm not sure what the practical use for that is. Yeah, what is the practical use or what is the... But it's one of those things where they'll... They know that they'll find a purpose more. We don't know the use for it. Yeah, we don't know the use for it.

They found penicillin by accident, right? Yeah. And it wasn't until a couple, a bit later, where they would cure diseases, right? So we invent the car where you have to drink drive now, and the uses will become apparent to us. It seems more like a trap. One more. Like if you want to buy a car,

you buy that one. You get put on a special list. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But then you just park it somewhere and you just wait until the right moment, you know. It's one of those, it's just one of those. It's just one of those forever cars that you just have. You don't drive it. One of those forever cars.

What about it? Yeah, it's much the same idea. I found my forever haircut. No, that's nothing. Forever haircut? Yeah. I don't love the expression, Forever Home. Yeah.

Like it grosses me out a little bit. Yeah. I don't know what it is. Because we're going to ship you off to a nursing home. Yeah. That will be your last home. It just... In a way, the...

overly sentimentalizing or something like that. It's a bit too, I don't know. It's just a home, right? Yeah. That's what that means. In a way, your forever home is the hospital because that's the one you move into

and you're never going to leave. Really, your forever home is your grave. Yeah, your forever home is the grave. What about a couch? Your forever hole. You're forever, yeah. What about a couch you can poop into? Oh, I'm into that.

Okay, yeah. Is that it? A couch you can poo into. That's it. It's a toilet. 500, guys. Well done. It's a...

It's a... It's a... It's a... It's a sofa bed toilet. Yeah. Like that. In the spare room or if the toilet's occupied. Yeah.

That's it. That's 500? The couch you can shit in is 500. Perfect. The sofa. Okay. So for bed toilet. I guess that's...

Is that what you want, Andy? That's all... Yeah. You don't have to. Oh, look, we've got 49.15 because they know that you haven't accepted it. It's undecided. Okay, look. Well, it's all down to Andy.

I mean... No, it's okay. It's got legs. It's got... four legs. Yeah. Yeah, it does. Got four legs and a toilet.

Well, come on. Come up with a better idea about a couch toilet. It's okay, look, we'll find something. It says 500. We're there. You did it. You did it. You did it.

Oh, what an absolute. I'm sorry, I made that an anti-climax. An Andy climax. I think it was a perfect end. You guys did it. Well done. Such a long time. It's only like a couple hours more.

them we've done previously right yeah yeah and it felt longer you guys look better than the last time i think thank you so much and i was here for the end last time i think yeah you were you yeah wow carried us over the line a few times thank you thank you um i uh while you read out the sketch ideas alistair yeah if you like made a cheese it a cavi yeah cheese it yeah can you go make a couple of cheese goblets i'll start on the stitch what's a cheese goblet where would i find some wine uh it'll be in my backpack that's just over there what about some cheese yeah it's in the fridge. Okay. Okay. We got emotionally sensitive gums. Refer to an erection as a downstairs What's that one? No, you can't. You can't do that. Well, I want to know. No, no, no, you can't. I'm

really sorry. You can't. You'll have to watch back. Emotionally sensitive gums. You got refer to an erection as a downstairs thumbs up. A really good one coming up. Yeah. Soup others. The doctor who keeps sewing on people's thumbs and big toes to replace their penis. That same doctor starts cutting off cocks of his critics. A surgeon takes out the litigious center of his patient's brains. Right wing creates a white Obama so that they can win post-Trump.

Alness the anus. You have to you want to start something? Let's take this outside. A food van for ice-cold hot dogs. Guy who takes his hot dogs medium rare. That's good. Crick ground sells Lamingtons that are the same wetness as the grounds.

Indexed to the ground witness. All the arifaces move to one hole, the singularity. A prank where they pretend that they've created a new type of woman that you can be friends with. Homo Incorrectus. They let go of all critical thought.

To have a back daughter instead of a poo-pooh. What? Instead of poo-poo. I'm having a back daughter. Oh, yes, instead of a poo. Yeah, okay. The coward's birthday weekend

instead of the King's birthday weekend, like the coward punch. That's good. economy, robot that can go on strike, the one guy creates a robot that can scab. America's de facto new hunter-gatherer. Robotic thing where they hide food for us and we find it like a savory Easter.

Cows that produce soup and men start lactating to feed the calves. Delivery drivers where they where their packages in their pants. Good. Stripper guy who keeps whole hens night picnic in his pants trapped door spider hole system for people who are struggling to find

housing borrow borrow um you can borrow or borrow it's like Airbnb but the holes in the ground company that finds way of legally killing people and sell human products the guy who

gets dirt land and wants to start dirt economy then realizes all the things society realized and makes regular economy dirt land don't remember that one At all. At all.

They have info all through it. The guy's forever home stays in there forever. Yeah, forever home, man. New people moving into the home. Nothing new under the sun, people. Oh, that's right. People are still moving into the home while he's still there. Man with a sedan moves your house by the carload.

Fun gerbils token, a park where you get a bag of gerbils to feed the carnivores. Morning White, guys who think. cocaine in the morning is novel. Pitch a back tent that's Occupy Ball Street. Pitch a back tent and Occupy Ball Street? Yeah, pitch a back tent is to have a

stiff turd coming out your breath. Yeah, no, I got it straight away. No, need no explanation. I'm pitching a bat. The chocolate bar follows the hero's journey because it becomes a turd that looks like a chocolate bar. A lot of Oh yeah, he's the same,

but he's changed. shrink down and go into your mom's body and make the virus feel bad. Reverse diarrhea, which is gelatinous piss. Polk-mind virus spreads to the gut and gives you diarrhea. Wide dog. Wide dog. Yeah, wide dog. Okay, great.

You breed a wide dog. We've already got a long dog. One of a really wide one. Doggy daycare, but the dogs run the daycare. Mrs. Dogfire. Mrs. Doubt Dog. Are they two different ones? Different ones.

Completely different. Of course. Yeah, yeah. We got the Dickey Knee origin story. He's got a beautiful face. Receiving a slow clap after intercourse. Matt Preston sees another cravat wearer and threatens him and it starts. What?

I don't know what that word. That goes, bibs for the boys with a bread subscription for eating up the oil. You taste like dog in a good way. Dating show, but your nose is blocked till the end. you don't know what you're what they smell like and you hope she smells really good double doubt firing where you're both dressed

as Scottish housemaids and you have to but you've also accidentally booked two dates this is a dating show where it's called double doubt fire yeah both the people on the date are dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire there's four dates going on there's four dates going on civilaneously

a nightmare a bunch of people are dressed up as Mrs. Doubtfire but you got to figure out who the real Scottish maid is. Prequel to Mrs. Doubtfire where we find out he actually used to be a dog. Razzie, but for your life. Where are they now? Celebrity hide and

seek in a department store. A guy who's really pissed off that Oprah brought her own audience to Australia because he assumes it means that we don't have good audiences. The day that Oprah never came when she didn't come to Philip Island but was supposed to. Is that true? Do that happen?

apparently it happened to Sam Peterson she was supposed to come she didn't come community that wants a Japanese toilet seat for the public toilet but and protest that the mayor has been stealing the funds they just want one nice toilet seat that shoots water at your butt guy who slams meals before date because he thinks he's more fun when he's full sausage roll with a liquid center yeah it spills over on your hand like when you eat a meat pie. Knives on the sides of shoes like a wheel and a race. Parity of Australian film in town with a dark town with a dark, town where everyone, yeah, I don't know, everyone has a secret, lots of dead kids, I don't know what I was a movie that's all a bit,

all that bit where you wrap up the movie and they say what happened to the characters. Skinator, a guy who's just inflated skin. Skeletor. Yeah. I thought it was like a minotaur. No. Superhero that's a long tube. It's a long tube by getting a balloon animaled, the balloonatik.

The power of one dog. What was that? A lot of dog stuff. There's more dog stuff than poo stuff so far. Yeah. Maybe more doubt-fired. Maybe more doubt-fired stuff than... Some African dog's doing what they do in that movie.

I don't know. I forgot. YouTube, TikTok. Dog bark. with different accents all the CEOs who have bought Vine and not been able to bring it back and they shout one of us

one of us anyway Coarse yeah employees trying to enjoy a tech job before the CEO goes insane energy drink with a sausage roll blended into it a down and smushed a big M

a big M that's Christmas lunch flavored available all year round little joke at the bottom I am dad I am a dad that I know of It's a thing to say Dad makes joke on boxing day Geez the decorations are up early this year

Gets laugh and then I like I gotta go for a drive And he tries to get more on the street from people See you next year Guy accidentally says it on at 1201 On the 1st of January Then has to go away for a year Guy who's bigoted

But against people who drink treasat Bayleaf startup that makes bay leaf drinks, BLF, give it to the bailiffs, put bailiffs in the cars. This is ramblings of madmen. Brand the stand. Not even a triple digits yet. No, you're kidding. Corporate logos on corporate courtroom stands.

Prisoners who get to get once, wait, prisoners who get to get once they stop wanting to get out. Get to get out once they stop wanting to get out. Life coach who helps kids pester their parents and get more out of them. Conference was very successful children, very rich children who've got lots of money out. Baby boss. Yep. Undercover dad, pretend they have a new kid. This is the dad.

The callback sketch where they reveal that he just did this to get his crusts off, cut off from his sandwiches. Okay, wait. Reality show where you do. do hard manual labor naked, laboring naked. He's trying to pitch a machine gun that makes the hair fall off and the bones and organs dissolve. This is when you shoot an animal and it kind of makes all their...

Instantly becomes edible. Yeah, well, their hair falls off and their organs and bones dissolve. It just becomes meat and goo. You're meat, you can throw it straight on the bobby. Meet you later. Yeah. Shark Tank episode, but it's about from ideas guys, and they just have ideas.

A drug that makes someone else think they have your kids. Taken style babysitting service. Royal bike riding doctors. They go going through red lights. Fighting martial art. The penultimate fighting league. No touch footy. It's a role-playing rugby.

Well, they kick a big dors around. I know that's the next one. A rugby with a dice Dungeons and Dragons. Roll. Horizontal podcasts. The sound is horizontal. The hypno movie that spins and just makes you believe it's a good movie and the people talking about it looking back. Chinese food was just hypnotism. It's actually not real. We take Joel Doucher to Big Claims Court because he claimed he could pull a plane. Extending podcasts with AI to get more before the beginning and some after the podcast.

podcast. Hear them go home and get hanged. I don't know what happened. Go and get hanged? Okay. Yeah, I don't remember that. It's a dark little Twitter. Yeah, okay. Shrinking horses down till the kicks they offer are good for you. Just a little bit. Just a little bit. Yeah. The guy who is successfully drinking the ocean and balances it out with sugar. The Jam Sea, we create a sweet sea. sketch prank show where the one

where one guy doesn't realize he's in the show and all his friends are just acting as jerks surprise tragedy sketch show guy who was adopted and is about to meet his mom and he really hopes that she's attractive bio-milf m-I-W-L-T-F guys that's mom I would like

to fuck guy seeing where they see themselves most or what they love most about milk what do guys you know trying to make robots that don't look like

they're for war or for having sex but obviously both is your main name what you find a blurry metal for it's a blurry metal find out God was actually a donkey and Mary was just insane thinking she'd given birth to it a new podcast where you

take prompts to make whatever they want and you hear or do other podcasts. Guy who's created a thing where you just store stuff in where you store stuff in his nostrils and you can get the stuff out by sneezing and he can't get

himself to sneeze. Guy who gets welcomed by the fart convention people. They think that he's one of them but he's not. He just has a real bond of someone who's on his way to the fart

convention. You'd be walking along the road and people are just randomly stopping. You would give a U-direction to the fart convention. You didn't even know there was one on. You just got the vibe. Guy in court who's arguing his point that his right to fart is protected by the First Amendment.

The humane centipede, the mad scientist then goes and sows them into a spoon. Instead, he does a nicer... Yeah, humane, that's good. The UT guy, a UTI for guy. you can get it playing you can get it praying guy who takes water parks to human rights tribunal

because he doesn't like that feeling of the joins between the slide bits that hurt his butt marina birth to ensure an Italian an Ameranara birth to ensure an Italian son Guy asks AI to write him more Italian name a more Italian name than Mario even more Italian than that a docu sketch

that shows how the direct line between Mike Whitney's Who Dairs Win with Fear Factor and then Trump getting elected. A TV show called Jug-A-Vans where you just go to shops and you ask people to give him 50 bucks or he'll eat a whole jug of ants. The easiest lifestyle guy.

Shakespeare Holmes. Ajax Spranwick to go back in time to have it written into Shakespeare as an ad campaign. Horses are just lazy guys. the shy psycho a costume made a beer that you can drink and you reveal your stupid costume

because being dressed up as a baby is so hard at the beginning the institute that comes up with dumb shit that they can do when they are out pissing into your own mouth and filming that was the Australian Institute

of bringing disreputin disreputin to sport Mary Poppins at the gyno having so many things in her hoo-hoo a thong that you can wear that's big like a mankini

but it's like a thong like you wear on your foot. Sure. A guy who yells that he's uncomfortable until they put you in first class but instead of all the other passengers go into first class. I'm the con artist who is freestyling.

What? A long con. Oh, the long con the fruiterer. He's actually thick, not just long. Chili con corn. There's confusion. It's actually a chili with fake meat.

Erica Betts getting rid of anything that could sound a little bit gay. No homo sapiens and homophobic subspecies. Creating a new way of collecting certain knowledge called NOLO and then ripping the power from the scientists to call it fungi. Workbirth. What's workbirth? It's a new way of giving birth, but you do it at work. Great.

Efficient. A guy tries to get taxidermist to do a tree because he's sick of picking up apples. A troop of Aussie animals get together After they discover some loggers hollowing out trees This is maybe a fake film We are pitching Which is Here from my laptops in there

I'm not sure where we were Pitching which is maybe not good Okay pure evil economy that is driven by evil passion As an alternative to capitalism Sketch about how voice actors real job is acting like they know each other on the red carpet. Yes. Auditioning for the junket.

Someone being told their favorite show that was canceled, went on to a farm where it can be more itself. Thanking people for the opportunity as a way of making them think that they could get more thank you as if they give you the role. Tongue propaganda to make you feel like you're eating something bad. A meal that you can shoot directly into your esophagus to eat healthy. It's a salted rifle. The mother tongue where all the babies come out from the sewer and go into pregnant women.

Sentant Fatberg. The kid who cut off his fingers and then went into the sewer to become a mutant turtle and tries to get them to take their shell off and stuff until they are the same. Are these like ringing bells? Do you hear this and go out? A lot of them I'm like, wow, that felt a lot more. like it made a lot more sads at the time, but now in the cold light of the following day.

No, but it's also just no sentence. Oh, no, no, I know, I know, I know. Getting shooting each other into the Olympics. That's good. That's strong. And the meeting to propose it. Yelling at kids in the Olympics. Wait, oh, yeah, like you're getting yelling at kids into the Olympics,

yelling at each other. The clearing the airway bit of first aid and how insane it has become, now use another person's finger. It doesn't have a finger. He's been eating his fingers. Second A. How to stand around when it's already under control. The Romantigy, the dating show with the long noodles.

A dating app that matches you up with bad matches so you have the plot. Guy who can walk stand. A guy who can walk, stand and sit but can't go between any of them because he's not well. he's an actor and production has to work around him letters letters version of movie numbers are villains

question mark the origin story the Messiah coming back and using it to get free stuff God's showing up and trying to get a good internet handle spray on knife dinner lightsaber the last great white shark and being urged

wait, let it bite you because what we did to the species 3D printing a celebrity out of meat and freezing them and eating them a company that roasts pigs by having them burn up on reentry company that roast pigs by having them enter the atmosphere from space and the pig lands and creates a crater that kills the whole team space cooked yeah the productivity fluffer chases people around and threatens to tickle them I guess that's the real air friar isn't it burning up yeah the sad CEO who said because people are only there to get because they're getting paid yeah there was one man who was has threatened to tickle CEOs and he's and it's led to their success

rival who gets a clear skull and makes you really jealous doing crowd work from an MRI and the brain is going off a CEO who keeps just making one garage uh no a CEO keeps just making the one garage he started, his conglomerate in that just keeps getting bigger and bigger. A CEO wears a garage over his head so that he can always be starting new companies. Alastair, would you like me to read any of this for you? We're up to, I think, 164. Oh, my God. Wow.

This is the most insane part of this entire project of reading them all out. Okay. Single cheese slice mail service, guy who hears about Bezos selling books because they're easier to sell and just sells rectangles that have no purpose. A hundred metre race, but everyone is running in different directions, starting in different places. It's the 100 metres, but more unwatchable. The best at knowing how well you went at the Olympics,

so it's where you get medals for accurately assessing your own performance. The wet pocket advocate, Gavin Sloppy Pocket Avenson, who is running for PM, a guy who has to change his mind about hanging people higher up based on how bad the crime is, but discovers that murder is not the worst thing and that was being hung by the neck. Bring Hanging Back campaign

For hanging out with friends and family Maybe at public hangings The Martin Lopez Executioner Idea of Naming Convention Whoa A big pre-game hanging press conference Where the executioner and the executione Go at it

You'll never hang me, mate Revolution themed restaurant Where you destroy the system And inside there's the charcutory board And why inside the head of a dummy cop smash room where you tenderise meat before eating it or you can grab restaurant with a wind tunnel meal

guy trying to understand why the barber sprays perfume on the back of his neck. Ill-fitting garments weirdo high-fashioned high-fashioned goes into a small town real-life montage where they knock you out and change your outfit then knock you out again and change you into another one the new high-end cork hat pushing for little lights around the body

that should be that schools can't ban it. Compulsory sandwich restaurant in the Constitution. Taken down a peg, reality show where we just humiliate confident people. The Prime Minister, Bachelor. I do, Prime Minister.

The Kiss-based government corruption. Game show where there's a camera inside the Prime Minister and people have to guess where. Prime Minister gets a second job at a petrol station to help for the the economy. Everybody gets to vote on the shape of the submarine for the new nuclear submarine and people vote for a turd shape. A mini-doc on the least name-like name in fiction.

Falk-on-le-le-horn. The grunting and standing and sitting of an old man communicates for the CIA through that secret code, not his speaking. Femented man with scobie clothes. Sentient slime, mould underwear that guys get convinced are hitting on them. Tech guys who fall in. in love with their tech and he falls in love with his robot bid. Pulling plane gets running, then takes off and pulls it up into the sky, flapping his arms. He's the world's strongest man. A pilot that flies a plane that's driven by reins like a horse carriage. Centaur peed and curly-haired elf.

Microwave gun and a nugget cooling mouth. Kissing as a way of finding out if someone is a robot and a good excuse. when getting caught by wife because AI won't have good kissing training data telling airport secret that they are forced to be happier and less grumpy because they have the fun of getting to see all our secrets. The airport security lover, rubbed down and love,

penny for your thoughts, hundred bucks to shut up. Fix the guy inside your mouth by fat, tongue and cheek replaced by fat, guy with parrot tongue, comedy perfect mad but he has a parrot tongue how i found love by holding my breath for 17 minutes seal the deal paragraph kid falls into fire interview to decide how good the candidates are that's where a kid falls into a fire to see how you react under pressure in job interview um how i

found a workplace where they have a shrine to the boss where you have to a new prayer based HR system messy food dating show with light switch to hide your shame a dating show where you try to eat as much as you can but you need to get a yes from the date a no dog to keep you sane with AI constantly agreeing with us

it's a dog that just says no at you all the time person feels need to break up with dog because it was rude and didn't like what she knitted person worries their therapy dog is telling stuff to other dogs at the dog park that they are laughing at them and bullying them breaking doctor patient confidentiality piss cheese

a workplace built around a mission impossible to style vet get programming down oh yeah dangled desk office bosses in video games should be more like bosses in regular life where they aren't bigger and stronger than others but a weakling that just got their three corporate scheming video game where you are the workplace safety person

and have to catch all the breaches and bring down the company the heckler a villain who doesn't find find anything funny and heckles. He's a grumpy man. The audience member, the comedy character guy who talks about being one of them. Diminishing returns. It's a restaurant that is up front about they only have one thing and everything else is worse. Country fair based economy. Kissing based mafia. The Don is the best kisser in the city. Kramer was never on Seinfeld. He was on friends. He never did that bad stuff. I think that Harry Seinfeld tries to rewrite history. Start the croissant shop only to allow the word crescent to be used. Susette, the Crape origin story.

Get someone on the money notes, get, oh, get someone on the money notes canceled and people burn their money and the dollar value goes up. Costume party shipwreck where people crash and end up taking on the rolls of their costume because they have the tools on them. Dress code. evil couture person is going to blow up bombs in high-end dresses and we need to pretend like we were doing something. The randomizer that has reset the world positions of everyone. The randomizer has a gun that swaps you with someone randomly around the world. Skets scene where you wake up and people suddenly want your things. Then we find out it's a billionaire film where he said he says how would you feel if people wanted your stuff? Billionaire gets it upset with someone's

tweet and uses his money to pay off everyone in that guy's life to start stealing his stuff from his life and it makes him feel crazy. Guy tries to promote a new hand signal where you double, where you upside down your fingers and you flick out a little erection. Guy who will pay you money so you don't bend your fingers backwards again and it drives you crazy because you thought it would be easy. Only have three high fives left in your life and then you'll die. guy's golden liquid that comes out of his nipples he's self-conscious about it but eventually realize it makes people feel good

then they realize it's the nipple sucking they like not the liquid they kill him and keep his nipples and lick them at parties big outrage about getting charged at Stonehenge so they create a new system after our choir you just pay the mower if he's there and now he's there and you don't want to the good gravy

mum makes amazing gravy and we find out she makes it from boys who love gravy. Tough composer gang bullying people on the streets of New York. The wireless butthole technology ends up shitting in front of people. A kid getting interrogated by cop about whether he's done a poo, but he doesn't talk and then gets thanked by his butt for not snitching. Who holds wrong girlfriend's hand and then gets upset like a toddler who has accidentally approached someone he thinks was his mum.

Talent Scout who checks out small, shitty little seeds filled fruits and thinks he can breed them into something like watermelon. I who wants wetter banana because he wants a jucible one. Runaway cucumber sketch. Moldy Dick. Conspiracy about fake banana and truth about where there was never a type of banana that tastes like this one. Kiss Club.

Kiss to win. The Kiss Domination method of seduction. One, two, three, four. I declare a tongue war. the kissing starfish you do what you want if you want tongue suck it out of me

military has a secret kissing technique that the military has they hire great kisses and offer them access to them in exchange for their secrets the kissing raptors for the UN peacekeeping force the love war

where you try to get the most amount of people kissed and happy and loved the kissing fields The guy The Roman technique of jerking off the enemy From behind shield In one of the wars After that soccer game

Armistice moment He puts on their helmet And they laugh And then they go in a bunker And they all All the way to Berlin Burlinen makes fun of Hitler to his face SBS clone Hitler

So that they have more content for documentaries A housemates Trump and Putin And Netanyahu Full Haig is the name of this TV show Ventriloquist police squad the masked ventriloquist Skinby he wants more skin

I don't know what that means I don't know what that means I don't know I can't I forgot I forgot the old man doll like a peeing baby but he just keeps spilling his coffee on his keyboard

trying and little girls can clean it clean it up I've got a lump bit about a dog but then actual cancer but then a new dog drug that makes you give compliments

partner just makes you take more because they love them Guy who takes MDMA but it doesn't make him happy it makes him angry and the next day they're all sorry about that and he's like no I loved it Vic's paper rub one out as grandma walks in looking for her vix getting caught wanking by Natter on iPad and Natter is interested in how the videos work that goes on a date who is way hotter than him

and she asks him if you want certain foods and he's just vomiting all over himself And she's like, you're funny. Having someone who apologises for how much of a jerk you are, and that allows you to keep being a jerk. Viking tongue for racists, braiding both your legs and one arm, convincing racists, it's a Viking thing to slow them down.

Sloshes, the dry feet manly idiots. Wally, wali, last, louse on the last hair of the head of someone who, has gone bored has to get to the pubes where he's heard there's a community of pubic lies he can live with lying to drink about the name of cows and they go to school and find out one day you were like the dad says you just graduated from the school of life and now it's time to go with a dog from town to town and soft crimes I'll help you for the first off because

I'll commit the crime but you've got to find out why and to who what if it's like a child's dream. Guys, this whole thing. Oh, yeah. Guys standing near the Coliseum who is standing near the lions and saying, you used to fight lions in there and now you have to fight the lions to get in there. These cues, I mean, no one speaks enough English to get it. He keeps going back day after day and trying his joke.

A prince has a Cinderella shoe and has to find a woman, has made a Cinderella shoe and has to find a woman whose foot will fit it. But it's an ill-fitting shoe. A guy who has a surgeon telling him he doesn't respect him, because he's a loser. And would you go through with the surgery after he said that? And then the guy thinks he didn't do the surgery and tries to get some vet guy to look in it

and see if he really operated on him at all. Surgeons who take money from guys and get them to come and insult the patients while they're under anesthetic. I love to piss and hate to miss a guy with a tub, a tube on the end of his dick so he doesn't piss off the side of the bowl. He tucks it into his sock.

Porn parodies of David Natimeric scenes. New rifle The dramatic parody of naked gun A serious Billy Madison Welcome Matt at airport on the runway The plane wipes at feet Passenger who can't stop talking to other passengers Imagine how much the pilot must be covered in shit

The pilot has stepped in shit And is sprayed all up his back And he's admitted it And keeping the passengers up to date Is there a doctor on the plane? Nah, we said is there a dog turd on the plane? Ha ha ha ha ha Caveman Mafia, he is sleeping with the trilobites.

Bog beds to keep your body preserved, the air conditioner that works by opening the mouth and closing the mouth. Using the, I'm just a baby argument to get out of all the trouble in a very formal setting and decide to turn themselves back into a baby. Somebody who finds philosophies to convince people to give them food, he said he could help you by eating half of it. The Seagull diet where you have to fight your friends for piles of food,

early mating call where the women would slap their thighs together and the sound ricochets echoes around and the men come down from the mountains like the cacapa creating a blue bower for your beloved to make her in the mood green doesn't make sense in the secondary colours it must have rich parents chessboard porn parody

scientists create living chessboard out of mollusk-like creatures snails during rain experiencing the siren song of the footpath fiddler crabs hate when they look like with one huge claw because only crabs with two regular size claws are in the media and they've become self-hating lady learns eye blood splitting

spitting trip for the lizard and she uses it to keep stupid men away in dating and giving blood David Lynch talking calendar autonomous back bed that gives you home carcoon data

It's Kennedy Soup With its influences Intelligence test Till a kid a story that gets them to sleep Help an old person know how to use technology They don't know behind honest with yourself Getting gritty reboot of a worm day Beginning at Consciousness

The Educational School Group Teaching a song about the number of holes in a bird That's a funny idea The baby comes out of the birth canal We're a straw boater and a striped shirt We can see the baby coming down the birth canal he sings in the moon it's your eye

new company offers opportunity to put on clothing on a baby before it's born a service where they make your grandma grippier so they're lost likely to fall who was upset the old lady that was on the pillow he bought didn't show up with the package

the option to say what you're going to say that you are trying to quit a subscription in order to get lower price on your subscription have a complainer a guy who calls people to complain for you and get you get to feel satisfied. Vito, the app where you can find partners for your friend and also veto partners.

Instagram soy-based flesh entity that can download the algorithm and dates you, but it won't go all the way till you set her up for Instagram premium. Yep, okay. Pet upgrades through brain ship, they can poop outside and does your washing for

subscription service and changes your life. Cannibalism becomes legal for high-end restaurants because politicians have friends that want it. Sell your nan for meat after they die. Build a piss matrix. But they end up farming us. Great. Make a deal with the fairy circles for fairies to take our piss and poop and use it in

their magic. The slop category of new instruments cans full of slop. The proper head job. New hair teeth, eyes, hair, tongue. Guy who's Dr. Pimple Popper, but is a heart surgeon. That's just his name. His name is Dr. Pimple Popper? Yeah.

Higher the qualification means you can go deeper in the body But if they go through an existing hole then it gets cheaper Nome comes after you for keeping it inside An escape room where you have to show people Of videos that you think will make them laugh And feeling them not laughing and going from one to another And experience total ego death A perfume that smells like shit

And you put it on to go out in public It's also called ego death A person goes back and faces their fears that they developed when they were young That there was a guy with a group of carolars And 25 years later they try to face their fear The same carolet returns it says She tried to talk and she tries talking him And he's like, yeah, I always wanted to hurt you from the moment I saw you

New Circle of Hell Caroloki A bar that's open all the time for Christmas carols Dog Power Video Nah, that's I-I-I A guy showing a video to someone of them And they don't believe it's real They cut off their legs at the end

And the person really did cut off the legs And they are in shock Christmas Cafe with a tired Santa owner Who doesn't like it Vampire Santa They get him He's welcome to every house Mrs Claus has to stab all the vampires

And Santa then repopulate the world With all the naughty people Whose house he didn't visit Someone who thought He caught the Y2K bug Because they think it's like H1N1 firefighters with clear fire truck Oh my goodness gracious

Doing so well Tell yeah We won't be able to save your house But we'll chuck a few fish in there And you can have a little cookup Firefighter put out guys bonfire And then the next day Santa comes to the fireman And he asked them for a wish

And he says kill the firefighters Then he does Buttons on the left side for men And women are on the right Because women are brain too beautiful Humant Farm Educational Tool teaching the ants to go down into the body and get the kidney stone out and then they go get it.

They also do rats. Librarian in a bookshop trying to shush people, but they have no power there. The guy who gets recalled foods before it goes into supermarkets and then uses it, eats them so he can sue people. Guy who just goes through red light, teaboned immediately. I just go. Looked to smooth butter who always just farts and women love it. A strange understandable

phenomenon Barabas is a party guy and he took Jesus' his body as a prank he was cool Yeah up to 344 Alistair Oh yeah

Good God Okay Um Oh fuck it All right Um 344 Sneaking up

Sneaking M&Ms into the Skittle Factory Um Guzmani and Gomez was started by two whites and I like that

a C-A-S-C-I-A start trying being really nice to people and it works a lot of people are having to hook up with spies because they have their spy income their cover story income and in the event of double agents

a third income which really helps families get by many men trying to get topsy without any turvy point of view you you're missing the, you're missing the expression point of view and I'm coming to kill you. If you're watching someone else's point of view, that's not a point of view. No outside food. This is not outside food.

We're inside. This is inside food. I bought it inside. It went outside momentarily. If I have an inside dog and take it for a walk, it doesn't become an outside dog. You get the minions and you try to convince them that the stuff that you ask them to do is more evil than it is. Minion suppositories are being recalled because it's giving kids worse diseases. Guy talking about how good the experience of getting into a working cement mixer with your girl is,

guy who's a former cement mixer trying to get people into it by pretending it's a fetish. Chatty emergency responder. My thruple couldn't work out because I love Twix and there's no easy way to separate it. three ways. They're renaming the big bangs. So the cowards, uh, to the coward bangs to stop it from convincing school shootings. Uh, you know, not convincing, but, you know, so. Uh, encouraging. Yeah, encouraging. Uh, dog pallbearers taking owner to cemetery. How'd they train the dogs to do that? They did it willingly. They love burying bones. Hmm. Cook discovering Australia. I'm the best. him in Hawaii getting eaten, the Hawaiian

say, he's the best. Putting prisoners to work driving a bus. It's not really ethical letting non-criminals drive a bus. That's why the big wheel is so big because their arms were in a stock. Lawyers suing

the workplace safety check people for lost wages. They try and stand over them. A lost trades amputation, a guy keeping no anesthetic amputations. Alive. Good on him. Alive company that starts to cut it with uppers to get you to the toilet faster.

A rom-com where the good guys are having an affair and they ruin their marriages but find each other. A utopian soap opera where everyone is Polly and there's never any drama. Making a real bathroom where the whole room is a bath. A full body wash bath where it's all just body wash and you just overflow it nonstop because you no longer give you. a shit. A vertical bath. More people have died, but all are fully satisfied with life. The new donut stick, but there's a video you have to watch and they won't let you get the donut off the stick until you finish watching it. Our mountain documentary where the narrators have to fill for two and a half hours. Not to play devil's avid kiss. Oh, thank God. I was worried you

were going to play him. And we'd have to hear his arguments. Elyps. Remove. I've got to go. Thank you so much. Thank you so much, Pete. Thank you for everything. Thank you for everything, Pete. Thank you for these buckets. Yeah, thank you for these buckets.

Thank you for everything. Good luck. Thank you, Pete. I mean, we're there. We're getting... We just got to read these words out and then we can die. Yeah. Making a...

Wait. Okay, wait. A new donut stick. Wait. Eye lips. Remove eyelashes and make them sticky to catch any gunk that would fall in your eye. Finally, a new furry hole. hole for women, eyelashes all around the lips. Maybe she's born with one leg shorter than the

other. Maybe it's Mabel's lean. That's good. Yeah, the revolutionary internal protest of a sudden change in the quantity of consumed beans. The doctor explains to you why you are different today and how you have shifted things. This is about just eating a lot of beans. A toilet that can ask you question, what's the deal, man? Hummer convinces you to get a toothed shower drain to stop the hair clogs and it talks, a shower mouth. They get Denisville Nerve to add a little break in the middle of the movie Dune because it's too dry and he films himself having spilled a bit of water in his shirt and it's a bit of a relief for the eye. New rule comes in and you can only be in ads for products where you look like the product. Corporate mascots all living together after the collapse of a corporate system.

Caveman Meat Banker. New Experience is subscription model. comes and shows you a rabbit in a gumboot. Anchor does... This is all good stuff. Oh, it's so good. Banker doesn't know how to undo the lock on your card. He just passes you a knife and says, just rob me.

Pens are no longer on chains because no one no longer respects chains. Guy is very worried about this. Guy in prison, why are you in here? Bank robbery. and then we flash back and we see him finish writing a check, and then he puts the pen in his pocket and walks out, and then we see a flash of the cops. Guy who writes song about sending used gum wrapped in receipt

to a loved one with gum wrapped in receipt. I can't feel your mouth, but I can fill it with gum. The one gum society, you send it back and to be refavored. A business key party, you go and incubate a new business proposal. confused swingers who were just trying to get to a park swing convention but keep getting railed the double starfish railing guy who treats being in an audience as an audition the higher status guy getting so many laughs to all these suckasses the high suck asses yeah i don't know guy with a gun who was in a bank robbery was getting a great laugh which makes him want to do stand up uh i go to work and that's okay and i wait I go to work and that's work, and then I drive home and that's work, and I make dinner and that's work, and then when you arrive for dinner,

and that's the sweetest thing, and then you ask for a glass of water, and that's work. A guy, he's always tired, but only when he has to work. Your boss tries to make everything fun by saying that it's in an airplane. A guy's taking a bit off the top of Everest, so no one else can get as higher than, as high as him. the fantasy film where the Sherpas dream of killing the rich pricks guy who's a climber but just suggesting Sherpas carrying him up the Everest guy on Everest who keeps talking about

imagine if he was if he had frostbite on his dick guy on Everest who's trying to die on Everest but can't happily ever oh happily for Everest after it's your romantic comedy said on Mount Everest yeah green boots come alive romantic comedy on Everest yeah to plop as a choice these days and it's a question of self-respect an ayahuasca experience from shitting publicly in a country or where everyone is watching you you break to the other side and reach ego death one guy the one guy on the space station you don't know what

he does is just there to drink piss the first woman piss drinker in space a romantic comedy makes ring out of kidney stone people who can't handle how their their parent wants to be buried and dad wants to be put standing up in the ground face down open casket um guy who's a jerk decides he's going to spend the last bit of his money on his burial do it all the first billionaire mime a miming billionaire leg macarena success leads to big macarena movie set in Ireland, Kidman and Pascal. Kidman and Pascal at Press Junkett start molding together on

on pre-press Junkett. They start molding together. Press Junkett love affair that turns that sucky movie around. Who killed Maggie Simpson, the final season, Occupy, opposite of Who Killed Mr. Burns? You killed Maggie Simpson? Yeah, it's the final season of the Simpsons.

Letters from children to women From children right before their pap smear Demanding accountability From people who make the vegan cheese And make them admit that it doesn't taste like cheese Guy who is owning the vegans With increasingly tortured logic Testing lingerie on apes

It works watching guys who've just left wives at a holiday house and realization that this is his new life guy who dreams to have the courage to appear on Dr. Phil and shave his head like Dr. Phil the new bum fights but it's actually guys fighting with their bums

post-life crisis guy in heaven is stapling everyone and God has to chat with him because it's like everyone's heaven, come on, man. Giving God ayahuasca. Mom accidentally shows you a murder and then you get to do whatever you want that afternoon. If you take the lyrics from this poem really, really literally,

they actually don't make much sense. Where have you been? You're going to want to sit down for this. I bought a new chair. secrets of the vampires unlocked you can sit bolt up right

you can sit bolt up right like a vampire by locking your feet in the coffin and using your stomach and leg muscles guy Sebastian found to appear as patient zero in all major pandemics black death AIDS SARS changing rooms at the supermarket Tim Ferguson's top 10

best sniffing bins in Melbourne City it's called diarrhea because it clears your diary best thing to say to let the supermarket use their toilets guy can't fight it no longer and dedicates his entire life to taking cans and bottles from other people's bins to get the money from them

wisdom from a dodgy teenager no matter how you're feeling after no matter how you're feeling after throwing a wine bottle at the brick wall you will feel better Hi, I'm the guy who would go to parties and hang off doors of fridges and break them. And if you want to know how my life is going, I started a venue that's like a party venue filled with fridges and now I can do it every day. Come experience my biggest mistakes and how I've made them the core of my personality. That teacher that died in that Columbia Space Shuttle launch led a whole generation know that winning something doesn't mean that you get something good.

street photographer is a colonoscopist Flasher keeps going to doctors to get them to check out his penis an allergy to poison it's not the poison that's killing you it's the anaphylaxis show doctor his penis and he says it's completely normal

the guy says prove it so the doctor shows him his penis and it looks the same so he says he wants a second opinion and then the other one looks different so then they get another guy in and that one also looks different so now they have to get more in this car this car is champagne because it comes from that region thanks to inflation average is now bad thanks to inflation your quirky uncle is now a sex offender

Darth mall double-ended umbrella eating lasagna books to get information into your body squirrel acorn burial the huge merma made, the off-center centaur. Mom has a funeral for son's possible future with lots of AI photos from his un-had life. Pineapple head coroner. What's pineapple head coroner?

It's a guy who has his head surgically and tattooedly modified to look like a pineapple and he's a coroner. Of course, okay. Kidnappers become managers of heavy metal band. Lowering the bar

to being able to canonize the heaviest saint yet Andre the giant bank robber on shark tank male pattern baldness supermodel catwalk show hydrophobic guy who is

who approvingly compares wearing a condom to showering in a raincoat bank who has a sign up bonus where you can lay in the vault for money in the vault with the money whole wolf health health health care system

trivia questions are just general trivia that turn into your life or they are very heavy I don't know Hilda bear but You got to put in test on you

Yeah you put in not just the heart but put all in the organs It brings to life and then it attacks you Airbnb California New ghosts in an Airbnb The sperm aid puts his keys in a bowl Friend takes it out

and she goes I got your key I get to fuck you. No, those are the shed keys and then she has to kiss a rake. Boner killer movie kills guys with boners. A wise guy on a quiz show. Guy who learned how to poop in hands from chimps.

The reverse toilet, the muffled toilet. The toilet that is... Yeah, this is me. Yeah, we're getting close to the end. Yeah, the toilet that is always farting. The house, the house that is always farting and the fart stink. Fart stick. That's good stuff.

You really had a 480 run-up to the perfect sketch. Accidentally... Asked for the Farts. It's Fart's the Fart Steak. Accidentally hearing a PEOC's person's names as Mbutu, and then it's like Nadia, mortifying. I played college rock and paper scissors. High stakes. We played for pink nips. One guy, he lifted his shirt, and he had 12. They call him the sow.

the problem for a man with glow in the dark nipples and his life that then blows up Twist and shout is a song about not lifting a box correctly Guy goes to adopt a dog and the dog says Hey you want to know where there's a hundred dollars Two guys wearing the same stocking and they need to cut it Perfect stalking stuff for a cannibal kid A leg

Find him eating meat and he's got to eat the whole man Guy who was wanting to try eating horse, but he wasn't feeling well. So I'm so not hungry, I couldn't eat a horse. World's longest man. Guy. Guy make fun of guy's shirt by saying it's a nice shirt, man. Hey, grandma, they love the shirt. I'm going to book the big hall for my birthday party.

It's only a small loan. On the birthday, the grandma calls in a nuclear threat. And this is the safe house. Nice birthday party. Thanks, man. His grandmother is dead. Yeah. Guy who can't help slowly biting the dentist's hand.

Guy who doesn't think he can continue to see this left-handed doctor. Do you have a degree? This week in wrists on Ritzwatch. Rist watch was good. Yeah. Reverse wear man, who is a wolf and becomes a man. You meet the most charming. farming chicken, you hit the road with this chicken and leave you family.

When the buckets came into play, I think. Yeah, oh, this is a real bucket idea. Dad tells son, I've always loved you. I've always loved how you don't need me to say that I love you all the time or I'm proud of you. Passive aggressive saying grace. Guy tries the trick where if you walk backwards, you can get past the usher at the movies. Fortune cookie to send message to a fallen child.

There's a soldier, I think. Oh, soldier, sorry. Guy who knows his, it's his neighbor who did 9-11 because they ruined his view. Weaving an edible napkin out of pasta, sex marionette, tin can string telephone sex technology when it's first invented. Kangarooble, rebrand of the Aussie dollar. Bloke who asks to get up into the crane, dares the crane driver to give him a go, accuses him of being a coward. looking inside butt's origin story buying the rights to all the cold play shows

and they have to perform by themselves guys Nana comes to the house and says she's sick of not getting any responses for birthday cards and now she's going to fight him the double-ended handled scissors a car that you can only drive while drunk and the sofa bed toilet

I guess thank you I guess if you've watched the whole episode, Andy, we can give a code word for any listeners who've listened to the whole episode and want to tell it. Freeze dried crab mate. Yeah, great. And Alistair? Yeah, okay. Cheese goblit.

You've earned this, baby. Oh, the cheese goblet. Mm, a victory. Cheers. Andy oh cheese cheese thank you so much thank you of course the food and the drink

of the gods yeah take a bite if anybody is still watching or listening to this I have to say thank you so much to Humdinger Studios thank you to Evan Munro Smith thank you to everybody who appeared as a guest Thank you to my colleague, my close personal colleague, Alice there, George William, Dr.

Thank you. Thank you to my colleague, Andy, George Matthews. Yeah, for Hayden, for being... Well, I thought he was stuck around, didn't I? The very end. Yeah. And to all of you out there in hell, where all our listeners live. Thank you.

Thank you so much. I just want to be a-boop. I just want to say, we love you. We love you. And I think, Alistair, we might start doing some real sketch. podcast episodes.

Okay. This is the evolution. I guess we'll see. I think we're evolving, like Pokemon. Yeah. And we're assuming our next form. Okay.

As people who actually do audio sketches. Okay. That sounds good. I would really like that, Andy. Bye-bye. Goodbye, everybody. Thank you for everything. Thank you for watching this.

It's crazy. I've got to go turn this off in the other room. I guess I can stay here until then. So, what else is going on? 100 more? What else is going on? Okay, how about this? A pair of pants.

It's a butt you can't smell. Oh, that's good. Yeah. No. That's kind of sketch ideas I come up with in front of my kids. A pair of pants, but you enter from the side. Sideways pants. Because the holes on the side.

Is that anything? There's a hole in the side of the pants As deep as a hole Um I have hiccups now Do you want to have a little drink of wine from the goblet? No, not really Oh Jesus Christ

That looks horrible I know but it's just cheese It's just wet cheese It's just wet cheese It's kind of at you I'll see if I can go shut Thank you.