Two In The Think Tank - 502 - "PROPOSALOSIS"

Episode Date: December 2, 2025

RoboCorp, SunGlass Weapon, SG Rays, Newrope, New Territorists, Proposalosis, Spanish Human Tower Nemisis, Maccas Paramilitary, Fake a Wish Foundation, Outbuilt Obsolescence, TITTT Kids, Tongue Kiss For the Boys, NutziYou can now purchase A Listener hats by emailing [e-mail] up on the 500th episode hereCheck out the sketch spreadsheet by Will Runt hereAnd visit the Think Tank Institute website:Check out our comics on instagram with Peader Thomas at Pants IllustratedOrder Gustav & Henri from Andy and Pete's very own online shopYou can support the pod by chipping in to our patreon here (thank you!)Join the other TITTT scholars on the TITTT discord server hereHey, why not listen to Al's meditation/comedy podcast ShusherAlasdair Tremblay-Birchall: @alasdairtb and instaAnd you can find us on the Facebook right here(Oh, and we love you) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello and welcome to Toot in the Thingtank the show where you come up with five sketch ideas. I am Andy. And I am Alistair LBGW from L-Birtual. Alistair L-G-B-T-T. uh it was yeah there was actually i started a company a limited company whatever they're called limited liability company which i think would be the best kind of company to have where you don't there's no liability where you limit the liability that's what i want i we've made the mistake as a past alistair of creating like full liability company full liability company i got to say

why would you do that yeah why would you do that but you know what do that that's on us. If we made that mistake, that's on us. Do you think that they're suspicious, if you're like, I have just started a limited liability company? I would like to borrow a lot of money. And, you know, check out this by work. You would not believe how limited this liability is. It will shock you.

It will shock you. You can see through it. That's how thin it is. None of this is coming back to me. Yeah. I mean, I would like to start a limited liability life. Yeah. You know, limited liability relationships. Limited liability?

That should be a good, that should be the new lethal weapon movie. Instead of diplomatic immunity. It should be limited liability. It's a guy who's had himself registered as a corporation. And so he can get away with so much. And he's got a... He's got a saw-en-off shotgun. Yes.

And paperwork to prove that he's, he can't, yeah. You can't fit anything on him. That's right, because I guess if the corporation can be a person, you know, one, you know, one sort of hitman. Corporation. Could learn to be a corporation. That's really good. It's like Robocop, but it's Robocorp.

It's instead of, we can rebuild him. We have the, business management consultants. It's not that he's a robot either, it's that he's registered himself as a robot company. Yeah. Right.

And that has nothing to do with his physical form? Look, I mean, I don't have a problem with him wearing some sort of robotic exoskeleton, you know? Sort of like a bit like the Australian Bush Ranger, Ned Kelly? Oh my goodness, I never thought about him as an android. But of course, if Ned Kelly were alive today, of course that's what he would be doing.

He would be working for maybe, have you seen this guy? Have you seen this Palmer Lucky guy? Have you seen him? No. You wear this dude. Look up this fucker. He's the guy who founded Oculus Rift, right? Then sold it to Microsoft.

And now he has started an arms company. And this dude, he gets around in. Hawaiian shorts and flip-flops. And he is a billionaire. He looks fucked. He is fucked. He is such a fucked guy. But, yeah, I think that's what Ned Kelly would be doing now.

He would have some sort of... I mean, he was really, he was our iron man. Yeah, I mean, he was at the cutting edge of technology. And, you know, why wouldn't he... Of course, he would be a lucky rift. and Palmer Lucky Sorry, not Lucky Rift But Lucky Rift is a great name for a guy

Beautiful name Maybe Lucky Rift And his father, Mr. Rift Was, you know, did something different Actually, look, this guy's parents are Lucky's, they're Donald and Julie Lucky. Was he the guy who created,

because somebody was telling me somebody who created Oculus or some company like that had also... Oh, I don't know, maybe it's the guy who started red. The guy started Red, I think, is the guy who started Oakley's Sunnies. Like red cameras? Yeah.

Wow. See, I mean, that's okay. I don't have a problem with that guy. I think, like, you've got one company that does something with lenses. And then you're like, what if I did something else that had lenses? Great. None of those things, as far as I'm aware, are weapons systems. Yeah.

We except the sunglasses, except for a weapon for a proven on people without anybody known. I'll imagine that. Go into the military and being like, I've got a perfect weapon for, and then he puts them on there and it's just a pair of like, you know, I've just mirrored sunglasses. And they're like, okay, what do they do? They track sort of, you know, aerial projectiles and tell you where they're going to land and sort of bring it up and someone's a spider right in front of me.

Put it up. And that was not part of the sketch. I want you to know there was an actual spider descending a web right in front of it. You know what? Leave it in. That was my favorite bit. Yeah, great. I mean, I'm trying to bring some of that energy from the road trip episodes where I just

see bits of nature and I yell it out. It's our new thing. We can't help ourselves. I love life. We're an episode. We're an episode. We are a podcast that loves life. We do.

We seize it. Not in a violent way. No. And so then they say, and then he says, no, that's not what it is. He says, you'll be able to purve without nobody noticing. Your head will stay suspiciously still while people walk by.

you're in a bikini and your eyes will track them and you'll be able to look for as long as you want. This is, this is, I'm, I am almost completely sure that there was a James Bond in which he is given some kind of x-ray glasses and he immediately does look at, I'm going to guess, money, penny or something and see through her clothes to her things. But what I like about your idea. Bear butt? Bear butt? When I say her things, I mean her lingerie. It only went through. We didn't see her bare butt.

But was she wearing sort of lead lingerie? And she was. She knew. She knew what was happening. She knew what was happening. Q, Q, Q'd her up. Cued her up. Cue.

Yeah, that's right. But I like this version. where it's James Bond, but he's not really a spy, but he is still a massive purve. And Q basically provides him not with advanced gadgetry, but just with sort of pretty basic stuff to facilitate his pervy behaviour. So, and look at these sunglasses and you can see through them from one side, but you can't see through them from the other side. So you can be looking at anything you want.

this is pervy James Bond but I mean I also like But your one where it is more like This is military technology And like let's not make it about purving Let's just say that like You can be looking at the terrorists

Okay And you can be looking at them making the bomb But they won't know where your eyes are looking Because yeah you can turn your head a little bit to the left Like you're expecting somebody But your eyes can be looking to the right Yeah, yeah. You're walking along the beach.

The terrorists are there under their beach umbrella on their beach towel, making a bomb, and you're looking. They don't know. Up to sea, maybe it looks like maybe you're trying to find a beloved who's gone swimming if you can't find them. Yes. And then. You're taking it very well. Yeah. You're going, Mary, Mary.

You're just yelling out to sea a little bit. Meanwhile, your eyes are all the way to the rut. They are glued to whichever wire is being attached so you know which one to cut later on. As long as there's no terrorist types that are hanging out really close to your head and looking in between your sunglasses and your face and looking at the position or relative position of your eyeballs and your pupils. Maybe they would, a team like that would have that. What about this?

A pair of glasses that allow you to see through other people's glasses so you can see where they're looking. Oh, yes. They're like, they're like, SG rays of sunglasses rays that allow you to see through other people's sunglasses. So you can see the relative position of their eyes. Yes, you can see straight through that. can track their pupils. S-G-ray glasses. And we can call them a ray band, ray-band,

because it can see through, it's a ray that can see through sort of ray bands. Ray-band rays. Yeah, that's right. So you can see through sunglasses. But from the other side, right down. But from the other side, They, who the pad might think that you mean from the side that you're on.

But, I mean, that's a really good, this is a really good idea for some sunglasses. They're sunglasses, but they're flipped around, right? So they put the shiny stuff on the inside, so you can't see out. But everybody else could see in. They could see where you're looking, but you don't know what you're looking at. Your eyes are darting around desperate for information. But you're wearing them upside, you're wearing them backwards so that The arms are sticking out the front.

The arms do stick out the front. And so they don't think that you're actually looking at anything. They don't think that you're capable of anything. And they're right. You can't see a thing. I mean, you can see the reflection of your own eyeballs. That's it. But then suddenly you put on a second pair of glasses underneath those glasses.

Oh, and those are the ones that can see through sunglasses? Are they the S-G-ray ones? Oh, great. Oh, it's the perfect trick. They think that you're just an idiot who's put your sunglasses on backwards and can't see a thing. But you're actually distracting them

from constructing this bomb on the beach. The terrorists are still there. We don't need to... I'm going to do a voice. We don't need to worry about him because his look, look, his son...

He has put his sunglasses on backwards. He can't see a thing. We are safe We are safe Now that voice I want you to know That that voice that I was doing It was an as yet undiscovered

Eastern European country Okay so it still was Eastern European Yeah but it hasn't been discovered yet An underground one The people there They haven't I mean I don't know why they

They're underground They've been separated from there They're in the cradle the cradle of civilization somewhere, right? And they're underground, they haven't encountered another tribe of civilization for, you know, for the last two million years or whatever. And they come out and they've just been underground terrorizing each other and now they're out. Or they've been plotting.

They've been underground plotting this old time. Yes, ploddy. In their burrows. Yes. Big burrows. We've got multiple holes so that if you send a fox in one, then they can all run up the other one. You send a fox in? Yeah, you train the fox.

Oh. You can put a ferret in if you want. Hmm. We should do that. You put a ferret in a hole? Yeah. Stick a ferret in a hole. Watch the whole new culture run out of the other hole.

Put a ferret in a hole. Watch a whole culture run out of the other hole. hole. And when they run out, they've all got the parts of a bomb that they're going to build on the beach. And I've put on my sunglasses backwards and they don't suspect. I'll work for the government. Would you, how do you feel about like, put on that song to you? Yes. How do you feel about that? I will. I do. I thought you'd never ask. You've made me the happiest podcast co-host on the podcast.

I mean, that is a fun trope, the one where somebody thinks somebody is going to propose to them. But they're actually not, right? And I wonder how how sort of exaggerated we could do that. Maybe this person constantly thinks

people are going to propose to them. you know in every in every circumstance everybody who who kneels down for any reason or or even who asks them a question says they need to ask them something or even i guess you get to the point where like anybody who who sort of i guess has a box a small box or even a box small like smaller than say a tissue box any box smaller than a tissue box oh like a a wristwatch box exactly they have proposal osis they have

inflammation of the proposal gland oh yeah like let's say you're there you're at the fridge you're standing at the fridge

you open up a tub of yogurt and they're like I do or they're like I'm flat at butt and oh but they're expecting it, but they want to say no.

Yeah, they really want. I think they're constantly turning people down. They think they're constantly being, yeah, propositioned. Yeah, oh, we're hot. I'm sorry, I have a husband. That's what they say in order to. Yeah. Yeah.

But it's also, if they're very, no, if they're long-term partner, they're saying that too. They know. That's a good, it's a good. though. Yeah. I mean, I was about to start an idea and then I realized this might be cooked. This might not be okay. Andy, this might be exactly what the podcast has been calling for.

All right. Okay, so you know that thing of like, I mean, there's no good bits to this out. But anyway, you know, the idea of like a, a. woman saying, oh, my husband will be home soon or something like that, right? Yeah. I was, I was like, there's no version of that for men, you know? Yeah, yeah, sure. Like, what do we have?

I mean, sometimes people say... My dad's coming back soon. We've got that. Yeah, my, yeah, what about I got a lot of, I'll call my cousins. Yeah. You know, that's what, you know, big families that all support each other. particularly physically because imagine that you find out

like some guy you're threatening on the phone is a part of like one of those Italian like human tower groups like families you know that like in one of those towns where they all like get together in a crowd and then they start standing on each other's shoulders and try to make the highest tower

oh yeah yeah and it looks fucked it looks so dangerous it could be Spanish and it's very dangerous It does feel a bit Spanish. Spain's got some real, they're still holding on to some real bit, like, chunks of culture, some good big chunks of each other in the street, right? Is that because they also did the tomatoes, or is that Italy? No, that's Spain as well.

They do the running of the bulls. They do that human pyramid thing. I mean, Spain in, say, the 1700s, I think, was basically one. was basically one of the top three world powers. They were like, they were fully top tier world power. And now they're sort of second tier world tower. But I think they've taken it well and they've leaned into. Bringing back some of the old, the old weirdos.

Like, we'll just do more stuff here. We're just, we don't need to, like, project our power abroad. We've got other stuff going on. You know, it feels like these other countries have got, like, kind of insecurity where they're like, we need other people to respect us. And Japan, I don't know why I said Japan. Spain is like, we got, no, we've got this bull thing. We've got, we've got bulls to traumatize.

They're sort of like the Japan of Latinos. I agree. Thank you so much. Thank you for saying that. I assume that they're considered Latinos, even though they're not South American. I just assume that they're. Next time I see a group of Latinos, I'm going to approach them. I'm going to say, do you guys have like a Japan?

What's your Japan? Is it Spain? Because that's what I was suspecting on a podcast. And I would just love to get a voice recording of some Latinos. You guys are Latinos, right? Yeah. No? No, you just work at this.

You just work at this Guzmane Gomez? Guzmane Gomez. Okay. I apologize. Does that mean you, is that Latin X? What do I call you? Yeah. I was reading that as Latinx.

Anyway, the, so you're threatening a guy or the guy on the, you know, at his home. I'm going to come and get you like a fish or whatever like that. And then he says, I'm part of one of those families that does the big tower thing. And then, and I know where you live. And you go, what? How did you, how did you, could you tell that from the phone call? And it says, oh, I came up on the caller ID.

And you'd be really scared because you know that family, they all meet up, and they're there for each other. They're even willing to sacrifice, like, a seven-year-old to stand at the top of the tower, you know, 100 meters up. I think that would be a great example of a man version. Well, imagine you've been bullying somebody on the phone, and then you see you one of those towers coming down your street, slowly but approaching your house you'd be terrified you'd realize that you'd fucked up big time

that's right when all those human tears I made the mistake of angering an entire human pyramid oh and you start to run and you start to run and they can see you from really high up it's essentially like you're being

followed by a helicopter like the eye of Sauron oh no here they come it's like you know you're a you're a kilometer and a half away from them and they're just can you still see you there from a there he is he's over there maybe it's like is he and is he is he gone into the forest i think so The trust a kid With navigation And we're following the scope

It's good Yeah great I mean I saw that as a trope The thing of like my cousins But I didn't have very threatening cousins You know I never and I don't know

I felt like I could really call on them To bash anybody yeah i think they they you know you've i guess in the years where you're bonding you probably have to bash or talk about bashing in order to think you know that's right you get the cousins you deserve you know you you've got to you've got to lay the groundwork you've got to prime the cousins and you you you create your own culture i think a lot of ways, family. That's right.

You know, you can't choose your family, but you can choose to talk about bashing people a lot with your family when they're young and, yeah, you know. Yeah, I mean, and the thing is that you don't necessarily have to be threatening. Sometimes it's just the numbers makes you threatening. There is a video that's been going around where it's like, it looks like it's a very rowdy, late night kind of thing and there's some people that do look really threatening and then all these McDonald's

employees come out and they all are just there and supporting each other and standing their ground and it actually looks very threatening all the McDonald's employees yeah one is like the manager and he's talking to the rowdy sort of crowd

and they're like threatening him and then suddenly all these other McDonald's employees come and stand by his side like they're like like we're back in you up yeah yeah and it actually looks

very threatening so I think sometimes just the numbers you know a large group of boys we don't realize how threatening that is to

you know even though they might be Matthews despite the you know the genetic deficiencies

across the board you put enough of them together it still adds up. I mean, I'm interested in this McDonald's thing because in a way it makes you you get a little tingle of like feeling a little bit

inspired by the solidarity and then you're like, but imagine if, you know, imagine if that was those same people teaming up to ask for say better working conditions at the McDonald's. I know. And then McDonald's wouldn't like that at all. I mean, I'm sure McDonald's wants their employees

to act like a sort of a paramilitary organization I mean how would we feel if McDonald's did have their own army I guess I mean at this stage now

when we're getting companies that are now like three trillion dollar companies heading towards five trillion dollar companies paramilitary

seem to be the only way to really get ahead of these kind of tech companies you know it's hard for McDonald's to kind of spread to further

across the world when they're already everywhere so I think maybe investing maybe turn Ronald McDonald House into sort of I've got a military base and start taking out the competition.

I think you could make... By the way, if you are going to start a military base, one that's full of children with cancer, I think is perfect. And their grieving families, I think that is the perfect subset to begin training your art. army from. I mean, think of the moral high ground you can get when somebody bombs.

I mean, in war, the high ground is important. And I think Sun Su said in his art of war that you should seek the high ground always. And the moral high ground is very valid as well. Yeah. I mean, I think it is. It's very important. Yeah. I mean, imagine having a crack troop of children with cancer that you could send in in war, you know, first through the doors.

I just so glad that you're continuing along this line at the time. Yeah, thank you so much. I mean, you know, I guess for a few of those kids, they'll be getting their wish. Mm. Exactly. Which is to, I guess, take out some CEO of like some big company or whatever. really, yeah. Oh, we should start the Faker Wish Foundation, right? It's when you can't quite get the actual wish that you wanted. We at the Faker Wish Foundation will, you know, we'll hire some

impersonate, celebrity impersonators, or we'll do whatever it takes to sort of make it seem like you're getting what you wanted, but it'll cost a lot less. It'll be much quicker. It'll be me. My mate Dave, and, you know, he can sort of, he does a pretty good Hugh Jackman. And he doesn't have a, he doesn't have a Wolverine costume, but he's got a kind of, he's got an Eddie Krueger costume. And if we spray that gray, I think that sort of hand, knife, things. And he doesn't have a Wolverine costume, but he does have a Wolverine. And if he holds it in front of himself, I think kids won't be able to tell the difference. And it's like it's angry

And I think it will distract the kid And all dress up as Deadpool and all You know I look again I don't have a Deadpool costume But I have got a pretty fucked face I've got a lot of scabs And From the Wolverine actually

Quick get into the Deadpool mobile And that's my Fyonde Alantra, 2006. Is it normal for the Make a Wish Foundation to take the kids away in their car? Oh, yeah. Oh, no, they always do this. They always. We won't have them. Kids love it.

We'll have them home at a reasonable time. Is this a date? No, no. No, no, no. Wait, we're just going to go out to the bowling alley and get wings. I know, it sounds bad, but actually the bowling alley does the best wings. How do you feel about bowling ellies? There was such a good one in Ballarat that had, like, these, the TV screens were from, I'm guessing, the 80s. And they still, everything was just exactly the same.

And it was the coolest place. And then they closed it down and opened up a new one in a fucking warehouse down the road and it's, um, it sucks. Yeah, damn. It doesn't have any charm. I mean, it seems to be a much more viable business. Lots of people are going there. But I liked it when it was shit. Yeah.

It hasn't convinced you. And I like that. I know. I like things that are old and shit. I went to a diner that was old and shit just the other day and it was great. Like, here you can just, you know, for like, for like, a, you know, you know, like a $15 or whatever, just get a plate of, like, eggs. And it's like these, you know, potatoes and sausage and bacon.

And, you know, they ask you if you want white bread or brown bread and how do you want your eggs flipped or whatever? You want your eggs? How do you like your eggs? You know, how do you like, oh, over easy? You know, and then they give you black coffee and that kind of thing like that. And it's shit, and it's so good. I really, really want to go there.

Yeah. I can picture it and I wish I was there right now. Yeah, yeah. That is definitely, you can have a, like, a relatively cheap, but good, like, filling breakfast. Often they give you beans with it as well if you want beans, or you can get a crepe or something. I do want beans. That's what I want. I was thinking of something before when you were bringing up the Faker Wish Foundation.

Is this a date? It doesn't matter any day. I've sort of lost it at the moment. That's okay. I mean, I had to say a lot of. pretty cooked stuff, you know, that I had to get out there. But you got us there. Oh, God, I had to say it, you know.

Andy had to say it. You know? That's okay. Did you know that the Jim Jannard, the guy who had American designer, businessman, and founder of Oakley, I wear apparel company and red digital cinema camera company? Yes. In the 1980s, he, Jennered restricted the sale of Oakley sunglasses to the Sunglass Hut. although small

yeah yeah yeah so he but then eventually he sold the company for $2.1 billion to an Italian company

Luxottica the world's largest eyewear manufacturer and retailer I mean good on him because sunglasses is that one of the most

bullshit products that you can and make and to convince anybody that there was value in that $2.100. People spend $300 on them when you can get a pair for $15 at the petrol station. And they're exactly the same. Exactly the same. Yeah, they have a slightly different label, one that people will mock you for instead of, you know, carry you on their shoulders. And your kids will break them in the same time.

Oh, absolutely. Imagine if we found out that kids were invented by this guy from Oakley's, just so he could sell more sunglasses. We look back in old photos and we realize actually there were no kids before about like 1975. We look at all the old photos before 1875. 1975 and we realized. And there's no kids in any of them.

we realize it's all the same people over and over again. Yeah. It was actually people were just living forever until kids were born. Yeah. And the kids were leading to early deaths of adults. Yeah, and I can believe that.

That checks out. And they were created only to break sunglasses, but then they like, you know, law of unintended consequences. They were so exhausting to have around. They aged you. They caused people. people to die.

And, yeah, this whole new thing. I mean, that would be a great thing for a sunglass business. You know, because often if you, with kids, like, you know, and I don't know if you ever leave things on the ground, Auntie, sometimes a backpack, sometimes something else that might be better, even a laptop in your world. Almost constantly, yes. Yeah. And kids, they don't care what they walk on.

No, they really don't. They don't make a distinction between, say, a rug that's on the around and... And, like, yeah, a new Oculus Rift or something like that. They will just step on anything to get... Harmer-Luckies Oculus Rift. Yes. They don't care who they have to step on. Yeah.

Kids are... You've heard of inbuilt obsolescence. Kids are outbuilt obsolescence. They are... And it's just, you know, it's a... great system. I guess in a way they are just entropy. But what if entropy was a little guy who screamed at you about...

It's basically a two-in-the-think idea. They are. What if when you had sex with somebody you made a little man? You know, it's very, it's ringing... Oh, so, well, every time you have sex? No, not every time. Not every time. Just sometimes.

It's like a lottery. Nobody does. Sometimes you'll have sex for a really long time, and then you'll be like, I don't think that this makes little men. I don't think I have the capability. And then suddenly, boom, you've got four little men. Oh my God, this guy, Jim Jannard,

he owns the Fiji Islands of Kaibu and Vatuvara. Wow. He also owns the 500-acre Spighton Island in the San Juan Islands Archipelago. This guy loves islands. He's an island lover. Sunglasses guy, though, he's going to be all right. He's going to be all right on those beaches, on those tropical beaches.

I mean, what I am excited about is that all the billionaires buying tropical tropical islands they've got a reason now to care about climate change you know that's an investment this is good i think we should give them all the tropical islands that's a good idea yeah they can have all the tropical islands and and so you're saying because they will they will get swallowed because of because of and so that will cause them to maybe change some of their policies maybe so that there's not as much you know now that will start taking carbon out of the air.

You know, and they'll be like, and then we'll be like, oh, sorry, it's actually too light. It doesn't help anymore. You've got to think of the islands, the atolls. Because of all the, uh, because of all the ethanol or whatever that's coming out, no, the methane that's coming out of the, uh, what was once permafrost. Imagine if it was ethanol. Let me do that, Andy. Oh, it just did it.

It didn't actually change what I could see. Uh. Because I can't tell visually. the difference between the two hydrocarbon chains. But ethanol is alcohol, which you can you know, you can

drink and have a good time. And methane is far as. Yes. Which, you can sniff and have a good time sometimes. Oh, what? If that's what you love,

that's what you love. Yeah. I mean, I guess, yeah, what were you about saying? You were about to ask me how many sketch ideas we had? I was, yeah, because I thought that's such a good note to move on to three words from a listener. All right, I'll do it. I'll do it, but I want you to know that I'm not 100% the most happy I've ever been about it. Oh, all I am is for you to be in a permanent state of maximum ecstasy. All right, we have enough sketch ideas, which means it takes us to three words from a listener. Now, I don't know if you know about this, Andy, but we have listeners, and they sometimes support us on Patreon, and they can suggest a word that we can use, three words, actually, from a listener that allows them to, allows us to use those words as inspiration so that we can come up with a sketch idea. I could not have put it better myself.

Thank you, thank you. Today's listener is Andy David Bourne. David Bourne. David Bourne, I love your work in Tolkien Hodds. Yeah, and David Bourne from the Bored David C. Good. Yeah. We both did so well.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And David Bourne has sent in three words from a listener. Mm. That, wait, let me just, I'll try to read the email. see if we know which listener, see if there's any way to get to the bottom of it. Yeah, let's see. I did, oh wait, it did come up before. What's going on?

Maybe you're smelling bull or doing correctly. I could be. That's okay. We'll never know. We will never know any. What do you think we will know? What do you think is the future of knowing? The future of knowledge.

I think we will know less and less. I think it's going to be much, much harder to know anything. Okay, well... Fortunately. Well, it says here that David Bourne says, you got three words for you guys that came to me in the middle of the night. That's the three words. One word of Christmas past.

One word of Christmas future. That's right. And it was from 24, 2024. And so it could be, you know, they're definitely past words. I don't know if he got any future words, but we'll see. All right. So, do you want to guess what the first word is, Andy? Okay.

The first word being, well, is being your word? No, no, no. Okay. Wildly. Wildly. Oh, you know what, Andy? You're close because this company was known to act in that way. The first word is Exxon.

Exxon. Oh, second word, Enron. Second word is Valdez. Oh, okay. Exxon, Valdez nuts. The last word is nuts. Andy, the last word is nuts. I think there's something about the way you pronounce Valdez.

And also the fact that. that we were talking about these nuts, I don't know if it was at the start of the podcast or just before the podcast, I think it was just before, primed me and put me in the, in the... I mean, I hadn't even realized maybe I did that because I'd read these words and I hadn't even thought about it. I mean, way to cheapen my achievement, Alice there. Way to take all the joy out of this. Oh, and you the one who brought up the stuff before. You know, you You did it, Andy

Alright, let's see Exxon Now, what did they do? They had some oil spills Well, Exxon Valdez was the oil tanker That I think caused the biggest Oil spill The biggest single environmental disaster of all time Maybe up near Alaska, maybe

The front fell off This is the famous Clark and Door sketch The front fell off It's about the Exxon Valde but it was one of the bigger bad ones but then not as bad as I guess what the oil is doing to the atmosphere that's true

you know maybe it's better that we spill the oil in the oceans instead of burning it and putting it in the sky did you ever think about that yeah for them to be that's a great defence it's better for the birds to be swimming in it than breathing it in

and burning I mean can it really be all that bad for a bird to get oily I mean, they put oil in their feathers to keep them water. That's right. And maybe they can fly faster. Maybe they slip through the air faster when they're covered in oil. They'll be harder to catch.

If you think about that. The creditors, you know, some eagle comes along and wants to catch them in their talons, but they've got slippery, slick oil all over their body. Brown oil. They go. And that actually, now, now the, you might say, well, What about the eagle that it now can't eat? Well,

because it's just too oily. No, because it can't catch anything because everything's covered in all. You were the one who just said that it can't grasp the... I know, I apologize, yeah, yeah. But that... What happens to the eagle? Well, that eagle. He's, let's see, he's got a change.

to different foods. I think so. Become vegetarian or maybe focus on pest creatures like rabbits. Yeah, or starts eating leaves off of trees. There you go. Become a herbivore. Yeah. And then, and that's the bald eagle.

That's the symbol of America has suddenly become a vegetarian, which angers some of the populace. And they blame scientists. Yes, scientists always spilling the oil. Well, you know, always trying to inform people about changes. They say, oh, because of all the oil that's everywhere, bald eagles have become vegetarian. They said, you've made our eagles trans or whatever like that.

Don't get angry with that. And then the American guys. start to kiss each other and because then it becomes somehow through some kind of mis you know some kind of logic in their kissing another American man would be the only honorable thing to do for your country and but they still but they now they they they're imprisoned by people andy I can't I couldn't do it I You tried so hard. I think everyone at home listening is standing up and applauding right now. It's, you know, there's no shame in, it's saying that you couldn't do it. Because, especially because I didn't help in any way. I just said, offering nothing.

I mean, I think, I think they should invent, you know, tongue kissing for straight guys, you know, for guys, straight guys, you know, straight guys, kissing other straight guys. I think they should invent it. And, you know, it's, I think it's a shame, you know, like the word gay, that's been taken now by the LGBTQI community. And they did the same thing with kissing men tongue down the throat. That's right. They've taken. They've taken rubbing your naked body up against a man. Exactly right. We can't do that anymore without that beat.

You see, that used to be. That was ours. We could use to. They used to be our thing. Yeah. And now, has this been done as a sort of a joke approach? And is this okay? Because it seems quite funny to me.

Yeah. I mean, I think that there's, you know, there's an area like that guys being sort of like, you know, where people yell. about, you know, the gay guys, and then they themselves are kind of being pretty gay. I think that's like a, you know, that's, that's an area that people have sort of dipped their toes before, I would say. Yeah, yeah, great. But, you know, I think, I mean, I think it is arguable that, let's, let's accept this world that, that, that gayness was invented at some point, okay, for the premise of this bit, we have to accept that at some point. It just appeared.

Yeah. Right. And before it did, before it existed, you could, of course, a man could kiss another man or even have sex with another man without it being in any way gay, because gayness wasn't a thing. Yeah, and it certainly wasn't a thing that people have sort of had spoken sort of negatively about due to some, you know, invented moral thing. Exactly right. And so I think, yeah, you know, I think it's entirely valid to say that you could. do all that stuff. Of course, yeah, and people have. And do. I don't know what I'm saying.

Yeah, I mean, do you think that maybe Gainesis was invented not long after a sunglass company invented children? And, like, so somebody invented it to try to stop people having children. Yeah, you're right. I mean, it does feel like the nature trying to heal itself. Yeah, it's like one of those companies that, like, tries to teach people how to, like, fix iPhones. you know oh we have the right to repair like that but it's like we have the right to not make children that will destroy our phones

it's just a shame that the right to repair an iPhone feels like it still costs so much fucking money you know like you go to get a battery replace on your phone you're like this costs so much money and you might just break my phone more I want to get it repaired but like I'll just get like another one I'll just get a new one because, I mean, you deserve to be paid for your work, obviously you're working here in the ugliest shop I've ever seen in my life.

That can't be easy. But you have some of the worst people skills I've ever encountered in a human being. You still deserve to be paid for your work. But I'm sorry, I'm not willing to pay $150 for you to put a battery in my phone. And I understand that it's fair for you. but I can't bring myself to pay that so I'll just buy a new phone. Yeah, I mean, that's always been the issue

where people are like, people used to repair things. You go, yeah, it used to be the cheapest option. Mm, yeah. I would love to get shoes repaired. But have you ever tried to get shoes repaired? Fucking hell. What kind of shoes?

I'm on a leg. Oh, yeah. I mean, that is crazy too. Yeah. It's a different world, Andy. Also, I was wondering whether or not if Exxon Valdez did I mean, I realize

it's a ship, but if Exxon, like maybe if Exxon just itself did go into the nut company business and starting opening sort of island stalls in the middle of supermarkets

would you get some Exxon sort of cashews? I mean, I do love a cashew. Yeah, you'd be at least, let's say, let's say you're like, okay, morally, you're like, I'm a bit against Exxon, right? But you're in there, and they're giving out free samples. Yeah. Like that.

And people are just, they're dressed up, and they're all, they're dressed up in business suits. And they've got a little tray with little, like, you know, those mini, like mini muffin kind of, um, papers. Yeah. You know, like that. So they still have their sort of corporate, uh, corporate vibe. Still have their corporate vibe, yeah. Yeah. And free sample cashews, and they've got a few different ones.

They got the salted, they got the raw, they got that honey roasted kind of one. Oh, my God. I mean, that's incredible, isn't it? Like, you have those honey roasted cashews. You're like, I mean, in a way, this is too enjoyable. It crosses over into almost a kind of pain, I think, eating those things. knowing that you will have to stop. Yeah, and yes, yes.

And I think even your body, even your body that is hardwired to seek out like fat and sugar and salt, right? Even your body is going like, but this is a little bit much. But yeah, you are not able to stop yourself. Here's, okay, well, let's try to make it a bit more clear. Let's say like, let's say the Nazi party came back, but they came back as a non-year. company like that right nazi i didn't see said i yeah yeah yeah they're nazis yeah nutsy yeah nutsy party right and all they do is sell nuts is that right and you know it's the same people but they give you these samples and you're like these are actually really good and and

but you can get them like it you can buy the actual product like you know you just get introduced but you start seeing them everywhere and you can get them at like the petrol station and almost nobody will know oh boy and then you're like i just love these nuts but that um and it's somebody trying to i don't i don't mean to support that you try to buy other nut companies nuts and it's just nothing is hit in that spot and they're cheap and they're delicious and yeah i mean is it that they sort of pivoted like a lot of companies start out doing one thing and then they end up doing something else you know not going to start making gumboats and then they went into um mobile phones yeah is it that kind of a situation

like where they have like completely rebuilt what they're about and what they do it's really just a brand name at this point um yeah we we're not actually we're not actually None of us have ever served in the Nazi Party. We've just taken the structure that the government had set up. Yep. Had sort of, did they steal it through like a coup or an attempted coup? Yeah, I think so, yes. Or was that just an attempt during the beer hole putched?

Yeah, look, I don't know the details. To my eternal shame. Essentially, it's, it was, it's really just a legal structure and we've just taken that and shifted it into, you know, it was, it was a structure that so successfully started the VW that, you know, we've just, it was just easier to use this. None of us, you know, really believe a lot of that stuff. I think, I think just a, a shot called N-U-T-S-Y, is interesting as well. Yeah. Like what that's, what, uh, how far you could go with a company called that. Yeah.

Because it's got, it's quite a cute, inoffensive name, really, when you think about it in that way. In fact, I think there might even be, uh, one of the characters in Blinky Bill is called Nutsy, isn't she? Yeah, right. I forget, I forget, but yeah, Nazi. I think that's his girlfriend is Nutsi. We're going to have a Nazi party. And now I'm, now I'm, now I'm, now I'm, I'm, I'm starting to worry about it. Alistair, we have covered some interesting territory on this episode.

Haven't we? I think we're, I think we're becoming quite edgy. I think that we, that's it. As we go into, you know, season five, into, crack into the five hundreds, um, we're really, you know, we're being a little, we're being a bit rude. We're doing this, all this controversial. We're not afraid of these controversial. topics.

Yeah. I want you to know we are afraid. We are very afraid. We are terrified. Andy, should I take us through the sketch ideas? Please.

Okay, we've got Robocorp, the limited liability company man. But, and he's a murderer. I forgot to write that to him. Oh, man. Murderer. We've got Guy, bringing sunglasses to the military

and explains it as a weapon because you can purve on anyone for as long as you want. Yes. That was a good one. We got the S-G-ray glasses so you can see through sunglasses. Yeah.

The sunglass ray glasses. We got the undiscovered Eastern European country that are ready to terrorize. We've got the person who thinks that they're always being proposed to. Yep. We've got threatening someone as part of

threatening somebody that's part of a Spanish Human Tower family and the man chasing you. We've got the McDonald's paramilitary. We've got the Faco Wish Foundation where you dress up as Wolverine and Deadpool.

Yep. You just have lots of scabs, and then the other guy's got her wolverie. We got the kids that were invented to break sunglasses, in brackets, outbuilt obsolescence. We have having kids as a tid idea, have sex with somebody, and then make a little man. A little guy. We've got tongue kissing for straight guys, and we got nutsy. I don't think I really wrote down the essence of a lot of these fun, with the fun, part of the idea was, but...

Well, maybe there wasn't one. Yeah. Don't... Don't... Don't be too hard on yourself, Alastair. Who should I be hard on? Um... Uh, uh, the causes of crime.

We're going to be a tough on crime podcast. That's the other thing we're going to be. Oh, that's a good idea to do. That's a good idea. Thank you. Um... Yeah. Andy, what do you think we should do this?

the song and move to the last bit of the podcast? I think we should. Here we go. Ding ding ding-d-d-g-g-g-g-g-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-ch-d-d-ch-d-d-cccccccccccccccccc-d-t. Thank you so much for listening to in the Think Tank. We're going to try and release it a little bit more regularly, I think. Try and stick to some kind of release schedule. and it's going to be so good.

Andy, I don't know what it is at the end of podcast where you start promising things that you can't 100% remember. Well, here's the part where I make promises. And we're going to continue to work on this sketch show that we're working on, and it's going to be so good. It's going to be the greatest thing. It's going to be the greatest thing.

And, you know, what, Alison, do you want to make any promises? I promise I would get to continue having fun, Andy. Yes, that's it. You just keep living your life your way. Thank you, and I'm going to try to keep living your life your way. Oh, thanks. Good, I'm glad somebody is. Yeah.

I guess we'll wrap this up. Thank you very much for listening, everybody. We love you. You. Bye. Bye. See you.