Two In The Think Tank - 504 - "INVEST IN VESTS"

Episode Date: December 15, 2025

Vest Giver, Vest Tank, Life Three Piece Suit, GuilloteenyTiny, Coil Magic, Merlin Genetics, World's Sexiest Pun, Man's New Best FriendYou can now purchase A Listener hats by emailing [e-mail] up on the 500th episode hereCheck out the sketch spreadsheet by Will Runt hereAnd visit the Think Tank Institute website:Check out our comics on instagram with Peader Thomas at Pants IllustratedOrder Gustav & Henri from Andy and Pete's very own online shopYou can support the pod by chipping in to our patreon here (thank you!)Join the other TITTT scholars on the TITTT discord server hereHey, why not listen to Al's meditation/comedy podcast ShusherAlasdair Tremblay-Birchall: @alasdairtb and instaAnd you can find us on the Facebook right here(Oh, and we love you) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Do you want to come to my fancy party? My fancy party will have lots of dancing pairs. Do you want to go to my fancy party? There will be lots of fancy people there. Hello and welcome to in the think tank, the show where we come up with five sketch ideas. Five sketch ideas. And you know what? For once, for once the poor audio quality is actually coming from your...

face. It's coming from inside my head. It is, uh, it is, uh, the recovery stages of a really quite, uh, awful flu that I had last week. Andy has been sick. Andy has been sick. From the sounds of you, Andy, there are still some flu in there. Yes. I'm hearing remnants of a flu. Yeah. Mm. Mm. One flu over the Andy, Andy, um, vest. above your vest which is what you were wearing when you caught it we did it all right Andrew

yes you know what it's crazy that we say it to invest in something because honestly as far as I'm concerned a vest is the least item of clothing that you can possibly wear like you don't sound like I'm not going to trust somebody to invest in something if they're wearing a vest

to be honest because they couldn't even invest in sleeves or even a decent collar. But what if a guy comes to you and he says, Andy, I found an investor for our film? And he goes, here, it's Mr. Simonson here. And then he comes in and he puts a vest on everybody in the room. Oh, he'll just cover the vest.

Now give those back when you're done. I'll do the vests, you do the rest. That's what Mr. Simonson says. All right, that's one of the worst ideas we've ever had. No, but write it down, write it down. At Alastair, I mean, while we're, while we're discussing the topic of not, forget it. What are we talking about, Andy?

Forget it, forget it. No, no, no, I want to hear it, Andy. How dare you? How dare you bail? Well, we're discussing the, no, it was just, while we're discussing the topic of not adequately investing in things oh not I don't know

why why why why why not inadequately invest in the podcast with a bad first idea that's right but I didn't even see you know what I didn't even believe it wasn't true because I didn't actually believe that

that was why I couldn't go through with it because I didn't think it was a bad idea you thought it was a good idea I thought it was the best idea I've ever heard Oh, Andy, thank you I mean A version of Shark Tech We love a version of Shark Tech on this show

But one where it's like You don't pitch to three investors You just pitch to three guys in vests Yeah And they And they decide whether or not They'll give you a vest That's right

Yeah So what would you go on there To get these guys to give you? Would you go on and say I'm recovering from my hypothermia. It's most important that I keep my core warm and don't have the blood, the cold blood from my extremities, rush back to my core too quickly and put my heart into shock.

I'm asking for one vest for 100% of my chest. And then they say, well, tell us, what have you done with your life so far? oh you've got to justify yourself yeah yeah and they go got to decide because they've only got so many vests and they have to decide whether or not it's worth spending pretty much my whole life I've been working on developing this hypothermia in the hope of getting a vest from you guys oh well I mean I'm not sure if that's good is that will you spend the rest of your life then just trying to get hypothermia will you then need more vests for mine

are you asking if I have a business plan well I'm just asking because it's like you've created a case of somebody who's really good at trying to get vests who's been focused on getting vests but do you think that they want to give a vest to the person who will who will need the more the most vests come back and ask them for another vest that's right or are they trying to say somebody who's deserving a vest and you know is on hard times, but I guess they don't really give vests to people who are on. Is it, are they looking for somebody who can make their own vests? You know, because I mean, that's what they're doing in the shark tank.

They're usually, they give money to somebody that they think. Absolutely, they're not looking for somebody who could make their own vests. Because if they found somebody who could make their own vests, there's no way, like they wouldn't be giving out vests, then unless somebody needed a prototype or unless somebody had no idea what a vest looked like, but then how. would you judge their ability to make a vest i guess maybe if they'd spent the rest of their life making i know but are they what is the is the show them trying to continue to maximize the number of vests that they have and said they give out vests in the hope of receiving more vests in return

i think that their hearts are pure okay i think all they're wanting to do is find those We most need a vest. Okay. They are guys in vests. They love vests, and they want to share vests with the world, but they only want vests to go to the worthy. Okay. So it's like a charity shark tank, but instead of giving money, they give out vests. It does.

Again, I don't think it's charity necessarily. Okay. I think they do it for the love of vests, for me. Okay. So one guy could be like, I'm going out. on a date and they talk about how great this woman is she uh brushes her hair uh she uh she she she you know she's very interested in uh science and stem and all that kind of stuff i didn't i was thinking of something else and that's why i didn't laugh at she brushes her hair yeah but i just

like to add one to the permanent record great thank you indeed and then and then they say and I've got these grey pants and this beautiful Trilby hat, and I just feel like a vest would be the perfect thing to complete this outfit for a date with this gal. Yeah, I mean, this guy, this Trilby wearing motherfucker, who by the way, I don't like this out of him at all. No, okay. But you know what would have really set that outfit off beautifully?

And a girl who brushes her hair would love. is a vest. Yeah. Congratulations. I think, yeah, great. You see, I love that. See, I think, I mean, I think it's a much more kind-hearted, um, show. It is.

It is. It is what the world reads right now. I completely agree. And since there's been so many twists in kids, books and TV, twists on the investigators, right? I've seen investigators where it's like, alligators that are detectives that's a really good one i thought that one as well i've seen investigators obviously the tv show that uh kids my my children's age enjoy watching and that i acted in one scene of and that andy acted in one scene of uh and that i think while it might be a good

show i think that title is awful sure but it was enjoyed by children and and i think that the fact that, you know, these guys made a show that kids enjoy. It's one of the few things that is being made out of Australia or that was made out of Australia that I think is, you know, of a decent quality. Yes, well, look, that's great. Alistair, why have we... Yeah, go, sorry.

I was just going to finish my sentence, which was just, it's great to see an invest kind of, you know, spin-off that involves something different and not just get, you know, invest a gating. I want to see some. Now, could there be an investigator where people invests are putting doors in the gaps of fences to, you know, sort of metal doors that have holes in them normally known as gates?

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Could, could that be a thing? Could that be a TV show for kids or a book? I shouldn't have let you finish your sentence. No, thank you, Andy. This is my question. My completely different vest-related question is, why did we stop at the life vest?

you know the life three piece suit exactly and I was going to say the life tuxedo wouldn't you love that you know certainly on a fancy ship

like the um Titanic I mean if they instead of life the life bow tie only life best

well why do life bow tie well I know life evening gown you know that's right Why not, yeah, why not life boat shoes and life sort of rhinestone white gloves?

Yes, why not a little white life trilby for our friend from the previous sketch. You know, I think with the hat, you will need one of those under chin straps that the Australian military has on their hats. How are we, I'm sure we've talked about this before, but how fucked up? is the positioning is the way they wear that on the very end of their chin oh it's terrible i feel like we may have had a discussion on this part about it it's just it's so uncomfortable to look at i want to just speak to the military like a big a big crowd of the military in australia i want to get i want to work my way up in comedy so that i can perform to like five thousand members of the australian defense force and just say how fucked up is it the positioning where you guys put that strap on your

chains it makes everybody uncomfortable it can't possibly be secure there that's the best possible explanation of it it makes everybody uncomfortable is that all it is that a si-op is it is it a sigh up to make your enemies shake in their boots? It makes us dislike the Anzax. It's all I think about. It's the only thing. Why?

Did you put it there? Just get it under the chin. There's a bit of purchase there. You know, it's like people are wanting to like grow out you know, uh, like, you know, whiskers from their beard just to have a little bit of

friction for that thing that grab onto. Desperately grab onto. Maybe they hold it there with with sort of spirit gum like they use for false moustaches. Could be it, could be it.

But we don't have time. We don't have time for spirit gum. When we're assaulting the enemy? The only spirit that we have. Right now you're assaulting my... Yep, no, you go. Anzac spirit? It's the spirit of the Anzax.

Oh, maybe that's what it was. Maybe that's what it's being held on by. Spirit gum of the Adzax does have gum in it, which is our favorite type of tree. The gum tree. That's true. Yeah. And we're back. Yeah, we're back.

Oh, my God. A new fucking audio issue to discover. Anyway, that's great. Yes. do you remember where we were what we were discussing andy um vests probably oh yeah probably vests if i know us if there's one what about what about like a kind of a situation about some vest um some like some head of a big vest company and and he's looking to retire and but his son just isn't as interested. He's a reluctant, a reluctant air, but there's also like a, a real simba.

But there's also like a, you know, a prize employee who's very motivated, who is probably vying for the position. And then there's this kind of battle between the guy who I guess wants, probably just wants to get the power because it's rightfully his or he feels, even though he's not interested in vests. Yes. And then there's the vest purist who is working just for the love of vests. Right. And, you know, and the other guy's talking about all these extra sleeves that he's going to put on stuff.

You know, the, not the vest purist, but the son. Yeah, I'm finding this really hot. Okay, so the sun, the sun, I was thinking that it would be completely the other way around. I was thinking this hungry business focus. you know right rising star he's the one who's like and you know wants to take over the company because he sees that they could they could he's got this vision of like making more money by putting sleeves on it maybe one sleeve on some of them yeah i don't know i just i just think that the you know he i think that he's the one who's passionate uh for vests

whereas the other guy is he doesn't really give a shit about the vests but yeah yeah he likes making money and so he just wants to you know widen the scope of what they do you know you can really you really can you know you could take that either way whether it's the sort of the um that whether it's the tradition you know the family tradition i guess that's whether or not you believe in the monarchy or you believe in you know a republic um does is is it good to reward merit or is it good to reward continuity i was thinking the other day that maybe one of the advantages of the monarchy is that if you think your kids are going to take over, you do have some sort of incentive not to be a completely

despicable fuck in the hope that the people won't rise up and chop your son's head off, maybe, although I don't know that that's necessarily been so effective in the past. Yeah, like, I mean, has there been? enough kings and stuff like that that haven't been ruthless that we can that we can really say i just don't think that anybody can be trusted with power yeah because i think that the power allows you you know puts you in a situation in which criticism can make you feel bad yeah and then you use you'll use your power and your own rationalization to silence that uh all that you know because you can indeed so and i just don't think that it ever doesn't work that way and

yeah it ever doesn't work that way so i think we just have to restrict it well i mean you could um you just have to find a way of um of keeping kings you know you need an alternative um source of uh reality or you need to you know if they're going to live in an alternate reality it has to be one that has its own feedback loops of some sort. You know, maybe it is just a series of guillotine. Maybe you can be a king, but every door in your house has to be a guillotine. Yeah.

Or every door in your house goes up and down, and the bottom is really sharp. And it just... I think so. You know what would be good? Four, for people in power who are, you know, like they're starting to feel the power affect them. I think for every small sort of misdeed,

there should be small guillotine's that cut off little bits. Oh, isn't it? A guillotini? Yeah, we don't save it all up. Yeah, a guillotini, yeah, which is I think what they would probably call it in Italian. I think they do actually call small things teeny. Yeah, you know.

you know so i think you know like why save up all the guillotining for the end that's true when you can have a progressive guillotining which also like makes them less and less capable of you know exerting their power a lot of the time as they lose toes and sort of skin on their elbows and on the back of their knuckles of their fingers and stuff like that your iron fist is a lot less impressive if all the fingers are dangly because you don't have any fingers left that's right um you know but then will all this guillotine make them even more angry and sort of you know hurry up there it'll certainly make them more jumpy yeah yeah but i don't know i think it's good also the other other idea i had is that as well as having a golden throne to sit on

you should have a second golden throne hanging above your head by quite a like a a thin thread and you know it's still a golden throne but this one will crush you oh so also it sits over your head it dangles

yeah okay so you so you get a throne but you don't get to sit on it no you sit on one of them and then there's another one above and maybe they're stacking until you get until you get married is that like and then that gets to be used by your partner

or is it just that it's a second throne. It's like the sword of Damocles. Yeah, I don't know about that either. Who was Damocles? I think Damocles, you know what? He may have been a king who had an axe dangling above his head. Maybe that's all that we've invented here, but it is something about somebody having an axe

dangling over their head. Okay, he wasn't the guy who was going to cut the baby in half. No, no, that was Solomon. That was the wisdom of Solomon. And then there was, of course, there was the Gordian knot, which was the famous knot that no one could untie. And then Alexander the Great came and sliced it with his sword. Oh, I thought he was like he had, you know, perfect fingernails for unpicking a knot.

You know, the strongest fingernails of all. That would have been more impressive. I mean, honestly, I think that people were only impressed. impressed by the cutting of the gaudian knot because he had a big army and a sword and they're like oh you're such a genius i think most people were thinking well that's not really what you're supposed to do with the knot come on mate it's not it's not really in the spirit of the knot that's cheating i think we've talked about this before though i feel don't know i did have a have another Oh, no, it wasn't a question.

It was going to be, you know how, like, there's, like, those Celtic knots. I don't know if this is one of those magic knots like you were just talking about. And they've got, you know, like, and knots are kind of used a little bit in culture as a kind of almost magical sort of thing. And use, like, you know, those drawings of weird Celtic notes and things like that. Right? And you kind of, yeah, you sort of see it as this kind of, like, I don't know, a little bit more, I don't know, magical thing. But then you kind of realize, like, that the way that electric, uh, motors, you know, and the wires within them are coiled up is not that dissimilar to these kind of like

these images of these kind of Celtic knots. And there is a way in which you could perceive the, you know, the winding of these knots as some kind of like, like, oh, some magic pattern that you just need to, you know, get this filament. into that allows it when moved. It does feel like it's not that far from magic. Yeah. When move it induces the electrons within it to start to move along and, you know, in juices or whatever.

This is a good idea. This is such a good idea. I'm going to give you that vest you've always wanted. Yeah. Because I reckon your plan to discover new forms of power. transformation by replicating more aspects of ancient Irish culture is going to um were they the Celts well I think I think Celts might have been in Scotland and Ireland and then they probably evolved separately beyond that um you know evolve if you go back far enough I wonder if there's a way

to also generate electricity from dancing without moving your arms well I mean maybe if you did it with, you know, metal. You know, I don't know. There's elements in which, look, I'm not even sure if I'm, I guess there is two ideas there, Andy. I guess there's the idea of looking to other sort of cultural imagery or traditions and seeing whether or not they can also be assisting in the induction of electricity or it's to classify, to choose to classify,

scientific things that we have discovered as actually magic. I don't think we're that far off. Let's do it. Which one? Which one? That was two options. Let's start calling science magic.

And then we will have to, we'll stop, that'll sort of, maybe I'll draw a bit of a line under it, get people to stop digging and investigating stuff now. We've been like, that's magic. Now it's magic from now on. you know we're not going to get any further we don't really care about dark matter all these problems are beyond the scale of human comprehension you know it's either quantum and it's tiny or it's relativistic and it's massive it doesn't affect anybody nobody cares let's just we've found all the good

stuff let's just call it magic now and then there's no reason to retire the scientific method I think I know but I think that just getting a few more people on board with science by just calling a lot of the science magic I think that would have some impact

do you think that would outweigh the number of scientists that we lost you know do you get to think getting the few those few sort of TikTok witches into the scientific fold would be worth it to lose

most of the actual science Andy, I don't think we're not changing anything about the science, right? We're just saying that, yes, this is, that it was through the method of science that we discovered that it was magic. Okay, all right, I see what you're doing. I love it. Yes. Yes. All right. Alistair. Yes. I agree. Because I think, I think that like once you get down to that thing where it's like, oh, this is just a little ball of energy that moves and transfers a force between these two particles. or whatever and that its mass is equal to its energy and those things

it's like how much more do you need to hear before you're like all right it's fucking magic right that everything's just a field where else do you see fields Andy yeah as it goes faster it gets heavier okay yeah

it's magic you fucking idiot where else do you see a field I'll tell you in the countryside with a big wooden man made inside it that you can burn at the solstice to have a good harvest in the new year that's right but also like that there's like a metal that is able to attract other metals and then they get stuck together how is that not magic that if you like dig and you refine and you find these

rocks and you make them really hot you know in some stove or whatever like that and then it sticks to other things that's magic how is that not magic how is that? Yeah and I think that the general populace

are sick of hearing that you tell them that it's science and that you have an explanation for it. Okay, I feel like the idea's evolved I feel like your position has evolved And I love that It has, yeah Also, also speaking of evolution

A monkey turning into a man How is that not magic? Thank you Yeah, that's right Exactly Just because it's also science Just because they've They discovered that humans became men through science it doesn't mean that it didn't happen through magic or that we can't say it did yeah that's right

um so anyway i don't know exactly what that is i think every but also that they can have an engine that runs silently that's fucked yeah those electric engines that just hear like like they've had to add that sound where it was like oh oh have they added that i think i think that's Wow. Oh, they really tricked me with that. Yeah. I'm not 100% sure on that. But it's what an electric car should sound like. But you're right. But I reckon they found something that's not too disruptive. Goes completely, if it just goes completely silently. That's, yeah.

Yeah. It's real magic carpet vibes. It's got magic on a magic carpet vibe. A whole new road. A whole new sound. A brand new. I don't hit pedestrians. I don't recognize. I will look behind me. It's moving fast.

I won't have time to jump out of the way. That's somebody trying to run you down in an electric car. Which, yeah. Makes sense. I mean, because that would happen, though, in a magic world where, you know, somebody, you know like let's say there is a there's a merlin right and then there'd just be like a scientist who tries to figure out how merlin does his stuff

and then over time you'd maybe either find out that it's like a genetic thing or that he's you know or that he's tricking everybody you know it's actually just like you know he's he's just got some devices on his hands or you know or it's just some knowledge that he's tapping into. I don't think the magic worlds are all that different

from the real worlds, Andy. But I don't think that, I mean, sorry, I don't think that you, I mean, what would be the genetic thing? Because, I mean, if Merlin's there doing magic and you find, oh, it's just, I'm a scientist, I investigate, it turns out it's just a genetic thing. What was the genetic thing?

That he could, genetically he can do magic because it doesn't feel like it makes it it really explains anything sure but I mean I know but I mean that's the first step is just like because then maybe if you find out it's genetic then you could take those genes put them in a new baby

you could be breeding magic babies right now Erland's hand over fist whatever it's not that it's not that different to finding out you know like that you can rub you know, like a needle on a magnet

and then you can magnetize the needle. At some point you figure out the mechanism through which it occurs. But I mean, Alastair, I feel like I feel like there's a big gap between discovering the mechanism of rubbing a needle and making it magnetic

and discovering the mechanism of this guy's magic because genetically he's magic that's not yeah that's not an explanation but but is what what are you interpreting as magic are you just interpreting a person who can do absolutely anything or or are you seeing that there's like that there would be limitations to sure sure and so and so there's still just effects of him you know he's got an effect on the world there's a mechanism through which he does that Right? And some of that could be things that are in the genes. You turn on stuff in the body. Maybe it does stuff with electromagnetic fields or it's, maybe you're born with more, you know, maybe you're born with like more, you know, ferromagnetic things in your brain. Maybe you've got, you emit like gaseous stuff from your fingertips that you can ignite. Well, then these feel like these are the explanations,

even more than the genetics, right? There's still measurable interactions in the physical world. I want you to know that I apologize. That's what I was implying the whole time. I just didn't know I had to spell it out the whole way for you. Apology accepted, Alistair. You have to spell everything out for me. Yeah, that's okay.

That's okay. Stupid, whooped little baby. Maybe we've spent enough time apart now that we don't share a mind anymore. Maybe we don't, maybe we don't even like each other anymore, Alistair. Maybe we don't even have the patience to sit through one another's bullshit anymore. No, I don't know if that's true. Genetically. Genetically.

But I think that idea. that like, you know, let's say that was like a thing, you know, some medieval thing, there's probably our fantasy books like this, but where like there is a scientist and he kind of like does study like the hair or something of some, of some, you know, the wizard in town or whatever. He's probably just the one wizard. And then he does find out that he's got some genetic trait or he's got something. And he figures out how to, you know, look, I know this sounds crazy to talk about genes and medieval thing. But we could, we could find a gap bridging kind of thing but then he does you know you and he tries it on his wife or whatever like that and she gives

birth to a to a magic kid and then the problem suddenly becomes that people are able to breed magic kids or he you know he can sell it maybe he can sell you know make your kid magic and and then he's probably probably will get hunted down by the merlin yeah the merlin guy who thinks the market yeah who you know he's like he was the only only one he was maybe some kind of wizard king you know and now he's got like there's all these like magic teenagers that he first hears about and they're all coming from a particular region so then he's got a mountain expedition to stop you know he was he was I guess probably like as good as you can be whilst being all powerful yeah and so he's like he knows that that he's not going

to be able to control other all-powerful people you know from getting it's a metaphor for something sounds like it's yeah you know trying to teach us something about nuclear nuclear disarmament yes yes yeah um what's he going to do he's going to have to blow up all those babies no that could be dangerous uh he'll dismantle them safely what if what if what if north korea gets a magic man What if North Korea get a wizard? That is, I would enjoy that as a sketch. We have to stop Iran from building a wizard. From breeding a wizard.

We can see on this satellite imagery that they have a large cauldron. And they have been ordering shipments of nukes. And baby formula. Baby formula really does feel like something that you could use to make a baby. That's true. That's, I mean, this is magic baby formula. I've been putting drop, you put a drop of water in it, turns straight into a baby. Put it straight into my baby, baby, baby.

Andy, what if I was to take us to three words from a listener? Yeah, yeah, absolutely. Love that. All right. Well, Andy, I don't know if you know this, but we have listeners, and some of them can support us on Patreon, you know, if they're just willing enough. And then when they do, they can suggest three words from a listener, often them, but not everybody tells us which listener it's from. But this listener has told us who it's from. They have said, hi, Al, I have three words from a listener of.

two in the thank tank I think that's a joke and the listener is me I agree and this message comes from Will Sanger assuming that it's Will Sanger messaging me from his own account and not somebody else

using Will Sanger's account I love Will Sanger's name it's got a real zip to it you know sounds like a the noise a Formula 1 car could make as it goes past you real singer

yeah yeah yeah like that wait I did you somebody had shown me

how to make the sound of that wait whiz you know I'm like and now I'll make the sound

cars going by and here comes the sound really puts a lot of pressure behind my eyes when I do that that

yeah yeah uh just i just think you're an acoustic marvel that's all i appreciate it i think that you're probably the person who thinks that the most and the fact that i have such an audio relationship with you is really the most ideal situation it is and me and me um andy will sanger has sent in three words from a listener and uh would you like to guess what that first word from a listener is um the first word is precipice Precipice You got the P's

You got the S You got the Is it precipice got an E in it? Yeah Yeah But the word is spend Damn You really

Maybe feel like it was going to be closer Okay Spend More Spend more I'm sorry Andy We're not I'm not even going to give you

The benefit of thinking momentarily that it was close. You need to know. The second word is Andy's. Spend. Andy's? Oh no.

Oh no. What are we spending? Money? Surely not. I'll say money. The third word, Andy, is money. Congratulations,

Andy. You got a word. Spend and is money Spend and his money Here's a really interesting Well, Sanger, you got got Got, you just got got You got got

Here's a really interesting thing Is that I've discovered That it doesn't matter how much money I earn Or how much money I have Yes I always am in exactly the same amount Of financial distress Every

Really And so I think I've discovered that the problem is a psychological one and I'm just going to start acting rich yeah Andy I think maybe that is the source of your problem

oh no yeah I don't I don't think it's because you're acting poor no no no no I'm crying poor hey

I'm crying I mean you're laughing poor yeah that's true you know why Can't the poor have more emotions? Why the crying poor? Why not the horny poor? The horny poor.

That's a beautiful name for... An album. Childcare centre? No, you're right. An album. I think you just said... Forget it. No, don't worry about it.

It was... Yeah, the horny poor is a great band, Andy. It is a great band. Yeah. I mean, I haven't heard a single... song of theirs but let me look up if there's already a band

called the horny poor I don't think there is I just realized I just remembered that my kids when they use the tablet they can see my Google search history so I will open up an incognito a daddy tab

because I think one day because I think one day I looked up like something that was like how to deal with a five year old who keeps you know blowing up emotionally And my older kid was like, who looked this up? The horny poor band.

Let's see. Is there the poor horny rednecks? No. The horny bitches? No. Poor and horny. No. The poor.

That's another band. These are not, Andy, the horny poor. There's the horny boys. Okay. But I think it's unused. I bet the horny boys play horns. And you know what? if they do

if they play a single horn in their music I see a guitar so far let me just have a quick look I see two guitars three guitars and a drum kit I don't see a single

oh well done fellas you did it they did it yeah I was I was gonna say I don't see a single horn I lose all respect oh absolutely

and it's great to find out that they are just sexually around yeah no I have and not by puns full respect for the Horny boys

Sir, I salute you I stand erect and I salute you I stand erect and salute You've made me horny for your band No I wasn't I wasn't horny I was standing up

Oh right right I thought you were standing up erect With an erection No No And with your hand to your forehead No the horny boys Wouldn't

want any kind of um pun was that a pun i guess it wasn't a pun was it no i was just i would just be a guy with an erection that's not a pun that's that's the the least what's the sexiest pun in the world what's the sexiest pun let's see do you think it's one that would that would imply

that you might be about to get laid well i think it's Because what is sexiness? Yeah. I'm just wondering if a pun could ever be arousing. You know, it doesn't feel like a... Yeah. Okay.

Let's just try one. And then I'll try another one and see if you find the second one more or less arousing. Which would imply the existence of arousal within the pun. A spectrum. Okay. Great. Okay. So let's see.

Okay, so this dog. It's a good start. I've already a little bit turned on. This dog is rough. Okay. Yeah. Okay. Now, let me just see the second one.

This dog is, okay, let's see. is barking mad. Oh, gosh, I've got to say, I was turned on so much by both of them. It's really hard. Okay, so I think it is, so I think there does exist. Some horniness, I mean, some, yeah,

some arousal does exist within the pun. Well, yes, but, you know, remember the original question, what is the world's horniest? And it might just be that they're all so horny that is impossible, you know, for there to be a horniest. Or maybe it's just because they're all about dogs. Yeah. Which I feel like the word dog, because of raw dogging, has now become so associated with sex.

Yeah, with some of the best sex. Ah, yes. Because it allows for, you know, it allows for reproduction, which takes. me, I find really hot. Oh, yeah. Yeah, between that and doggy style, dogs really do have this whole sex. I don't like it. I don't like how sexualized dogs have become because of all this.

They're spoken in such a positive light. It's going to lead to accidents. It's going to lead to mistakes, Andy. Very understandable, justifiable, even mistakes. Yeah. Do you think dogs are finally making it out of the friend zone? They've been friends. Oh, the best friend.

Oh, my God. For so long. That's true. It's the... It is an animal that we have very securely locked into the friend zone. But of course, that puts them only a bad judgment away. Yes. Yes.

You know, from more. but you know that would be exciting because it would leave it would open up the man's best friend zone um throw it back open to the field and oh to the animals the animal the entire kingdom do you think we do a full search of the animal kingdom if we're a new best friend zone yeah i think so then if we're taking them out of the friend zone does that mean that we're starting to date dogs no I think maybe it just got awkward, you know, probably because of all the sex stuff. We're putting them back in the acquaintance zone. And plus, they're not helping us that much these days.

It used to be that, you know, they would help us with hunting and things like that, but we're not really doing that. I reckon pigs could stand a chance of occupying the friend zone, especially if they willingly give us their organs and they, I can, we can use them for emotional support. I think this could be the. do you think that they're smart enough to tell us whether to consent to giving us their organs um i guess they said that they're as smart as a four-year-old or whatever like that i have so many six-year-old organs in my body um is this the sketch and i think that's the

sketch idea i think that's it search for the new animal I mean man's best friend yeah mbf friend after it got awkward with dogs

hmm there you go yeah well Andy this is this is the episode take us through the sketch ideas

do you want me take us through the sketch okay we've got the investor for our film but he's a guy who puts everyone invests great

shark tank but we have the shark tank but it's a shark tank but only for giving out vests people pitching to to try to get a vest the investor tank we've got the life outfits which is you know expanding on the life vest the life bow tie the life three piece suit we've got the little guillotine to slow big power grabs you know and more guillotine around them for people, you know, so that you're guillotine along the way and not waiting for one big guillotine after they've done wrong. These are people in power. We've got, let's start calling electrical coils magic. Let's just admit that it's magic and so on with all the things that are actually are magic, but we've attributed to science. Even though science didn't come up with it,

they just got us there to finding out that they are like this. That doesn't mean that it's not magic. Yeah, we've got... What magic is? Oh, well done. You described magic. Accurate. You just described magic.

Thanks, brother. With maths. You described magic with mass. Yeah. Yeah, okay. Good on you, fella. We've got Merlin is genetically magic, and then some scientists figures it out and starts creating...

Cloning them. Creating genetically magic babies. And then what if North Korea gets a wizard? We've got scientists. discovering if arousal exists in puns and we've got

the search for man's new best friend after it got awkward with dogs there you go a la da bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bong bong bong bing thank you so much for listening to in the think tank

did you know that that song oh you are the best thank you did you know that song Mary had a little lamb or twinkle twinkle little star that wasn't Mozart that came up with that no he wrote some variations

on it or something like that but he did yeah when he was young but he didn't come up with it yeah I think I think Andy if I was ever to do like a podcast where I inform people of things it would be

taking things that we all believe and then finding out whether or not they're bullshit you know here's the tip andy every single times they will be bullshit your show is called there's no such thing as a fun fact and i think so yeah i probably already talked about this thousands of years ago fun fun fact check

no fun yeah no fun facts uh no fun fact checks the debunk bunk you could record it from a bunk and i'd record on the i'd be on the bottom bunk if i'm allowed i might not even be on the podcast i might be sleeping you can come into my bunk my bunk bunker they call me the bunker because i put bunks in a bunker they call me the bunkerer i double bunk and we we love love you thank you bye bye thanks so much