Two In The Think Tank - 509 - "GREY POUPIN"

Episode Date: January 19, 2026

Keep Solids in Holland, Kitty Litter, Reverse Climax, Grey Poop-in, Shart Tank, See More Hoffman, High EQ Males, Hammockabull, Big Yak BurgerYou can now purchase A Listener hats by emailing [e-mail] up on the 500th episode hereCheck out the sketch spreadsheet by Will Runt hereAnd visit the Think Tank Institute website:Check out our comics on instagram with Peader Thomas at Pants IllustratedOrder Gustav & Henri from Andy and Pete's very own online shopYou can support the pod by chipping in to our patreon here (thank you!)Join the other TITTT scholars on the TITTT discord server hereHey, why not listen to Al's meditation/comedy podcast ShusherAlasdair Tremblay-Birchall: @alasdairtb and instaAnd you can find us on the Facebook right here(Oh, and we love you) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Linger, linger in my pants. Linger, linger, linger in my pants. Oh, I got lingered. What do you think it means to get lingered? Do you think it's where a... Yes, you go. Andy, I mean, look, you finish your thought, and then I'll be able to have a thought.

I think it's where somebody just hovers above one of your genitals without actually making contact for a long period of time and then they leave that's what they do in airport security it's the that's what they're that they're allowed to linger yeah yeah do you have to make it linger can you do you have to do you have to do you have to we talked about airport security recently I brought I've been bringing it up with people, and I don't know if I brought it up on the podcast, but just how, like, at the Melbourne check-in, I don't know if this is everybody's universal experience. I haven't travelled that much, and I traveled a little bit last year.

Yeah. And my observation was just that the people at the security check-in have just given up on the possibility that this could be anything other than an unpleasant interaction for everyone concerned. It's just so it's the death of the social contract It is there's no hello There's no thank you There's no chance of any of that

This is like we are enemies And I am Forced to inspect your body And even touch you But it's gonna yeah I got a bit of a touch And it was such a It was the You know

It was very difficult to ejaculate from this touch. I managed, but my goodness. It was a tough one. It was a tough one. Well, that's because they'll linger. I had a weird experience when I went into Holland and I was just trying to double check

that I had like that's something I was bringing in. I can't remember what it was right now, but it was, oh, it was a can of maple syrup. And like literally coming into Holland, I could not find a customate, customs agent to declare it to.

And so I had to like walk behind a thing and there was like five kind of chatting and I had to wait for them to stop talking and then I was like, I got maple syrup and they're like, that's fine. And they like go. And then I just walk through. You'd think that for a nation built on the idea of stopping liquids from getting into the country, they would be all over that. They knew the windmills would get rid of the maple syrup.

they pump it out with the windmills. But leaving Holland, I've never had such a thorough search of everything. I was like, what do you care? I'm leaving. Good riddance.

That should be your attitude. I hope you've had the time of your life. Yeah, and also like, yeah, it really was. And also even at the gate, like, when you're going in and they're like, what are you doing here? I'm like, I'm working for a few weeks. and they go with who?

And I was like, and I said something, and they go, okay. Didn't ask for any paperwork, nothing like that. I was like, cool. Yeah, so I don't know. Maybe it's, could it be like a lot of people do, you know, a bit of a permissive society. You go over there, you do, you go to the, you smoke some marijuana or whatever it is,

go to the red light district. But they want to make sure. You know that it's called marijuana. you know that you don't have to say whatever or whatever no i just know that uh someone that i've um associated with in my life has also done a lot of mushrooms over there oh they smoked a lot of mushrooms actually i'm way way cooler than you think i know somebody who's done two different types of trucks yeah yeah i mean that is cool and uh yeah and and and so they you know they know that people are going to go there and do stuff but

they don't want to get a bad reputation with other countries where it's like, oh, and so I went there, and then they took all this marijuana out of the place. Or maybe they just don't want you taking it away. They want to keep it for themselves. I bet that's it. I bet that's it. You know, they want the drugs for themselves. That's right.

They only push liquids out. They want solids to stay. That's right. I don't leave with any solids. Is that, is that? Is that a sketch idea? Netherlands, they don't want anyone leaving with any solids. That their attitudes to liquids and solids of the Netherlandsic peoples,

which I believe is how they like to be referred to themselves. Yes. The Netherlandic, I guess. I mean, look, I actually found it difficult with knowing exactly exactly what to call the people there. Because I'd been informed that Dutch was maybe not a term that actually covers all people.

Yeah. Yeah. And you want to cover all the people. You want to catch all. You want a blanket. I want to be able to say one word so that I can generalize about a whole populace. Yes.

So Netherlands? Holland, Dutch. I'm sure there's others. They've got too many words. They've got, yeah, and they've got a lot of solids. And they were like,

no, no, we need the solids. That's how we stay a dry country. We need the solids. You can take the liquids out and the solids in. And I actually don't even mind if you bring liquids in because we know how to get rid of those. Now, Alastair, we've bred a cat that doesn't attack you.

Like you guys, your family? Yeah. But it doesn't attack me personally? Look, that's not strictly speaking true. We have a cat that will probably attack you a little bit. It will dig its claws into you. But like, as a people, as a humanity, we've created a cat that you can have in your house that doesn't,

doesn't attack you, doesn't attack your babies. That's not my experience of cats, but that's good. Okay, I'll suspend disbelief for this premise. For this science fiction, utopia that you're describing to me. And we've read a cat that will go and go to the toilet in a little box of dirt that you have inside your house. It's like synthetic dirt, isn't it? Yeah, pseudo-dirt. It's something that's more like dirt than dirt from the point of your cat.

But they like, because it's almost like rocks that you can poop on. Yes, yes. Poupon. Poupon. Poupon. It is. That's what it is. It's a gray poopon.

It's the original gray Poupon. That's a really good idea for a day for a kitty litter. Gray Poupon. Kitty litter. Let's go to the States. Because gray Poupon's not really a thing here in, uh, In Australia, I believe. I've never seen it.

But big in the States. Yeah. And so I had to say, I do. Yeah, and we'll go there and we'll make a brand of kid litter called Grey Pupon. And maybe it'll be sold in a big jar. With a mustard label on it. With a mustard label.

And it'll be a classier kitty litter. You know, just a little bit. Is Graipon just Dijon? think it is, yeah. I mean, what an absolutely disgusting name for a food. What a repulsive. A bunch of sounds. Just the color gray as well.

What? Gray, yeah, that's not good, is it? In French, it would be gray. Yeah. Gris, you'd say gris poupon. Yeah. You would. They would say that.

That's how it if they had. done if they had had the balls to go full French. Well, although the French wouldn't say gris. No, I know that. I'm just talking about Americans with their les moines or whatever. Yeah,

I was saying, wondering if you're saying that the French didn't even have their guts to go full French. Nah, the French they have the guts, actually. Sometimes I'm, sometimes people say sentences in French here and I'm like, fuck,

you're really going for it. Like you're going. Like you're using big, you're even using big words. Give me an example. I mean, oh, let's see, I don't know, somebody, like honestly, anytime I have to read like a document that is, let's see, hang on, if I go to my downloads folder and I go, I'll put in one of my kids' names and there should be a form I had to fill out. for citizenship or something like that. Oh, no, not this one. They want to know you know the big words before.

Yeah, for that kind of stuff, they really need you like to. Oh, no, these are all English words. Hang on. Oh, this is really undermining. Oh, this is falling apart, Andy. Hang on, let me see. Oh, what about this? Oh, here we go.

Here's my kids certificate of certificate of, certifications of Citibica of Citoyanté Canadian. And then it goes, Otis Augustus Otis, Augustus is Citoyan, Canadian, and at this title,

joe, to all the rights and privilege of a subject Canadian and assume the ensemble of responsibilities, obligation, and to beware

who, he, Incomb. Encombe. That must be incumbent. Like the verb that incumbent comes from. To incumb. Yeah, to incum. Which is what I've done a couple of times when trying to stop myself from outcome.

I think we did talk about pronouncing cum with a silent bee. Oh, cum. Yeah. And about having to go to couples therapy because your beloved finds out that for your entire relationship, you've been secretly pronouncing it with a silent bee. And they find it really disgusting. Because I started to pronounce, uncumbing. And I just decided to out myself. I said I decided I no longer want to hide it anymore.

I don't want to hide who I am. Right. And, yeah, it's cumbing. I'm coming. Just at the height. As I'm experiencing the peak, she's experiencing the trough. The trough. She's never felt worse.

Oh, that's a really good idea, an anti-orgasm, the opposite of a climax. We've never been, yeah, we've never been more separate in our feelings. Yeah, what we're. that be? Was this from like the 500th or something like that? No, I think it might be, it might be older than that. But I think the idea of like a Lomax is an interesting idea. You know, is it because you are so sad or so turned off?

Or, yeah, you know, maybe there's a few. Disgust. You know, disgust. is a great way of getting to... Disgust. A low. Yeah. A low max.

Or a high... It's a climb in. That doesn't make sense. Eh? Climbax? Clive in? What is that? Oh, minimum.

Sorry, I was like, climb in. Climb in. No. Clime in. Clim maximum. Yeah. That's actually very good, Alistair, Bravo.

Now, what I wanted to say about cats is, why can't we just breed a cat that doesn't shit, right? It keeps all that shit inside. And then eventually the cat will die. You just throw the cat away. And then you throw the whole cat away instead of throwing away, you know, the kitty litter day after day, week after week, until eventually, you know.

I mean, that happens. And then, you hope the cat will die. A lot of the time, when your cat gets too big, you want to throw it away. Yes. And, you know, because you're like, oh, this one's too far gone. It's too big. And it makes me embarrassed when people come because it makes it seem like I'm not good at treating taking care of a cat. Was that with a silent bee?

No, yeah, no, when they come but over. Yeah. Yeah. And anyway, so I mean, one that as it gets bigger from not shitting, probably the poop poisons it a bit and it starts to get a lot more tired, which means that, you know, you know, you get to pet them a lot more. It's slower. It's easier to catch for when you need to throw it away.

Yeah, and then. You know what we could call this cat? A gray poop in. I mean, the grey poop in. It sounds more like a cat than a mustard. You're right. Yeah. And I like in.

Yeah. That's good. We're creating so many grapeoupon based products in this episode. And they're all, they're all cat-based. products. They're all cat-based. A new kitty litter and a new cat.

A whole new cat. A whole new cat. You know what? Oh, well, no, look. Now the kit is the litter. Now that we've got now that kitty litter can is going to be called gray poop on. Cats are born in a litter as well, aren't they? Cats are born in a litter, a litter of cats.

Yeah. That's weird. We don't know how to use that word when it comes to cats. We are very... Yeah. Yeah. And I mean, this is going to confuse things even more, a cat that you can put in the bin. But there'll be a beautiful... A beautiful sort of symmetry to their life cycle, you know, from litter to litter.

That's the... That's true. I mean, it's... I guess it's all about those, you know, It's all about poetic closure. You know? Especially those ones that, you know, have just been put in the bin before they died. You know, people who only like their cats extra thin.

Yes. Probably are going to probably prematurely bin the cat. And so at least while they're suffering and they're surrounded by garbage and, you know, awful smell. and they're meowing and stuff like that at least in their minds they'll be like but there's something nice about the closure of you know we're returning home it's like a it's like a cord going back to the home cord a chord a chord progression going back home do you remember it's resolved it's resolved do you remember do you remember that video of that woman it was like some cctv she'd push the lady and a cat i was thinking about it the whole time

while I was talking. Pushed a cat in a bin. Yeah. Not a lady in a cat. As you said, did I say push a lady in a cat? Yeah. Yeah, that's good.

Now, all I know about that lady is that she pushed a cat in a bin. Yeah. But I feel like she would be a really interesting person to talk to. I've got a feeling she'd be an amazing podcast guest.

Yeah. I just reckon she's got weird ideas like yeah i reckon she's got comedy instincts and i i think they've been suppressed her whole life yeah and they i think they emerge in things like pushing a cat in a bin which is awful it's awful and inhumane to push it in a cat survived in a big bin that yeah it couldn't climb out of with a lid on it yeah but it is it is funny it is a funny thing do. Like if that was in a Ben Stiller movie, you would laugh your dick off. Yes. Yeah. It would be the next short, I sharded. It would be. And he's looking for that next

sharted. Yeah. He hasn't found it. Stillers on the prow for a new sharded. I've heard the word, the word is stillers on the prowl. Stillers, if you've got anything like Sharted right now, Stilers, just send it to Stiller. Stand it to Stiller's people. We've been looking for an excuse to use the phrase shart tank for a long time. I think we've found it.

It's Shart Tank. It's Ben Stiller. It's just him sitting behind a desk desk. People come in and they pitch new compound words to him. That's all it is. Okay. And he chooses which one he might use in one of his movies. Exactly right.

Maybe it doesn't have to be compound words. Maybe it could be like, you know, he's like he'd settle for a milf, you know, after all the great work that the American Pie movies did in creating that. But he's interested in, he doesn't want to just make movies anymore. He wants to impact the lexicon. He says, that's how you leave a legacy. You get a word into the dictionary. You're done.

And that's how, like, a movie probably. probably has a longer tale of, you know, bringing money in by, you know, once you embed some of a stuff in the lexicon, you know, that's what people are like, where'd that come from? Why, why people start saying sharding? And then you go, oh, along came Pauley. We should watch that. Philip Seymour Hoffman in a comedy? I got to see this. I tell you what, I'm having this exact thoughts in my head right now. I do want to see. I mean, he was in a few comedies. God, he was good. Yeah. How often do you think about Philip Seabor Hoffman?

At least once every three weeks. I reckon I'm the same. And I think that's a lot. I reckon that's a lot. Yeah, I mean, it's a lot for, you know, a random person out of like, you know, there's roughly 8 billion people I don't think about. Mm-hmm. But Ph.S.H.

You know, the way that he was able to get himself sweating, And like, you know, like the urgency, but the control on his face when he's talking about how he sharded. Yeah. You know, I got a goal, you know, keeping his voice down on he sharded. Imagine if that was the only role he'd ever gotten an Oscar from. Yeah. I, yeah. I mean, I guess, you know, it should have happened on the year that he died, sort of like a bit of a Heath Ledger kind of situation. A little sob to him there.

Yeah, a little like, you know, recognize what he did. And it's just like a montage of him, you know, at the Oscars. But it's basically just different angles on the I sharded line. They go They go They go get the raw footage All the takes From the filmmaking process And they splice them together

And play them on a loop I sharded Then they slow it down I shard Yeah I wonder if I wonder if I wonder if Stiller is sitting on a stockpile

of i sharded takes and he could actually he could probably splice that into any movie you know like he could oh yeah philip seabor hoffman could sort of live on in this yeah like people don't like it when when actors you know have their likeness stolen or whatever and made into an ai but did they say that they don't like it when they take the your best line and then put it in a bunch of other movies by just editing around you. If you're the only thing they don't change,

they can't get you for that. People haven't said they don't like that. Yeah. I just found the longest hair on my neck. Really? Yeah. Like longer than the hair on your head? Um, no.

Okay. I did recently see some stuff where it's like, I realized I hadn't, been shaving low enough. Ah, yes. You know? And it was sort of too high to be chest hair stragglers. And but, you know, it was just mid-neck.

And I'm like, you sometimes don't want to shave those because you're like, well, I don't want a lot of action down here. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yeah. And I'd like to focus the action further up. So I'll grow some ugly hair down here and just direct people to the good bits. That's right.

Is that what it's for? Yeah, that's what I think so. But I think, are we taught that if you shave something for long enough, it just gets thicker and thicker? How does this work? Like, because is the idea that it's just one continuous hair and the longer you shave it, the thicker the hair gets? Because you're getting further down into the base of the hair? To the trunk of the hair. Is that what it is?

I had never thought of it. about the mechanism, but I like your version that the hair is all there and it gets thicker and thicker as it goes down like a tree. And as you cut it off, the hair likes to keep, maintain a presence above the surface of the skin. So it keeps emerging as you cut it off, but therefore it gets lower and lower down and wider and wider. I, why do, why do we have that myth? I mean, maybe your hairs just get thicker as you get older. Maybe.

But I mean, like, if, if you hadn't shaved at all, would you just have a very fluffy sort of like virgin hair, uncut kind of hair that is like, but like in a full beard. We just still have the bum fluff, but like a full bum fluff beard. Yeah. Magnificent, bushy bum fluff. I don't know.

I don't know. I don't think so. I mean, yeah, I think it is probably a myth. But I always pictured as well, and this is maybe on me, that the hairs, as well as getting thicker, they sort of get closer together. You get like a more dense matting of hair.

Yeah. And of course, that's, absurd because you're not going to grow additional follicles just from shaving, just from, you know. It does, to me, it always felt like you were sort of spiting or angering the hair, you know, and that it was doing it out of spite, growing more just to sort of prove, you know. Yeah, it was like, it was upset with you. And so you don't like hair. Well, I'll give you hair.

Yeah, sort of like a teenager. or an angry kid or whatever like that. Yes, yes. I just knew that it would upset you. That's why I'm doing it. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, I can see that, yeah. I mean, so then how would we punish the hair to make it stop doing that?

Lasers, that's the only thing we've figured out, isn't it? Yeah, well, I think, I mean, lasers or maybe ripping it out, right, like waxing. Okay. Yeah. And I think that presumably that is... I mean... You know, that's punishing the hair. You know, that's punishing those follicles.

And that's like... Well, because each follicle gets killed. This is what happens when you grow. Yeah. And is that... When you pull out the thing in the root, is that the follicle that you pull out? Or is the whole the follicle?

I'm just thinking about it now. and I reckon that maybe you were even kind of right with your first idea, Alistair, because a hair when it comes out, it comes out, and it is thinner at the end, I think, like a natural hair just growing from nothing, right? It'll come out with a thin end and then it'll be a bit thicker. And then if you slice it off, right, you're slicing it off at the base where it is thick. And then it comes out sort of with that, you know, with that stump first. Yeah.

Okay, so it's thick at the tip. It's not that it's thicker overall, but maybe the tip is thicker and sharper maybe because it's been cut off like a tree stump. Yeah. But, yeah. Because I guess it would make you think that your hair would, your hairs on your head would also get thicker over time just because they're growing and that's the same concept right but maybe there's just a maximum thickness that they think there's a maximum thickness yeah the follicle itself probably just can't keep growing because maybe there's other follicles around you know the thing where they said like if you put like

a goldfish that was normally you know in a in a tank but you put it in the river it'll just keep growing to the size that it can of the river or whatever is that the same thing with follicles. If you just had one follicle, maybe it's less like... I think we've already talked about this. I think we've already talked to this on the show. Yeah?

Having one enormous hair follicle, the width of your head. And it just like goes straight up. This hair just goes... Up like that. Oh, yeah. It's scary to think about it. It feels so good to have it completely taken off, though, I feel.

Oh, yeah. Have that waxed? Like, just like, just somebody like, wiggling it out like a full head hair like it's thick it's probably heavy right and just having something wiggle it back and forth like you've ever seen when when deer shake their antlers off

yeah that does look satisfying oh that'd be like oh there we go I wiggle my single enormous hair back and forth will my jingle the ear back and forth I think that's the best thing Jimmy Kimmel's done. No, not Jimmy Fallon.

I agree. Was that, what's his name? Neil Young version of I whip my hair back and forth. Yeah. I whip my hair back in fourth. Yeah. I mean, it would be hard to be in that job and to have, like, to have done that the best thing you'll ever do

and then still be doing the show. fucking every night years later every night and be like I did the best thing I got nothing

what are the chances of me coming up with a good thing again yeah yeah it's just a big repetition

they should just give more people goes at it yeah yeah they're not gonna do that they don't take risks I think now

Jimmy it's Jimmy Kimmel's greatest work is now the continuing series of like videos that emerge of him

doing some corporate thing where he looks He looks dead in the eyes. Oh, Jimmy Fallon? Fucking hell. Jimmy Fallon. Where he was doing the one with the Rolling Stones?

I don't remember that one. I've just seen him on various, like, tech launches and that kind of thing, and he just... I don't know what the Rolling Stones one is, though. Was he bored to meet the Rolling Stones? No, I think he was probably a bit excited. Actually, I did hear a joke by, you know, the host of Kill Tony there. What's his name? Tony McIntyre?

Tony. McIntyre? No, not McIntyre. But I don't even sure if his name is Tony. Is it? Anyway, it doesn't matter. But Tony Hinchcliff. Yeah, it is.

That's it. Tony Hinchcliff. But he had a decent joke about like, I mean, you know, I didn't like that. He was like, the left accused Elon Musk. But he was like at a tech thing of some sort. He's like, the left accused Elon Musk earlier. last year of doing a sign

that was a Hitler salute which he then claimed was a Roman salute. Now is that better? Because I don't know if there's if there's one group that have killed more Jews than the Nazis

it was the Romans who even killed Jesus. And I was like, oh, that's actually quite good. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And also that's The left. Also, that's where Hitler got the salute from.

Yeah. It's not like that's better. You fucking idiot. It was like, oh no, it's a reverse swastika. It's the Indian symbol. That I had tattooed. Yeah.

On my forehead. Yeah. Before I attended this Nazi rally. Yeah. I mean, there probably would be a lot of Nazis tattooing their own swastikas in the mirror and as a result, ending up

with Indian swastikas because they're doing it backwards. Of course, yeah, it must be so embarrassing. But, you know, also still not an easy shape to do in the mirror. You know, it's a... I've seen, you know, a lot of people fail to sort of draw that shape even.

Really? I reckon I could do it really well. Oh, I know, but no, no, there's like famous... There's like a few famous meme or just photos where you can see it's like a wall where somebody's tried to draw a swastika and failed a few times. Yeah, that is funny. Yeah. You know, it's like, it would be funny if that's what all the flags looked like.

That's what all, everyone had to draw their own. If the Nazis themselves had had. But, yeah. It's like the symbol itself. is a little bit too advanced for the quality of people who believe in that ideology. Yeah. This is the same as these videos that I keep getting popping up before YouTube videos and stuff. And they're all like, if you're a high IQ male, that kind of thing, all the ones that are like,

high IQ males who have a problem with procrastination and scrolling, you know, it's like, this is, in itself, if you watch this video for a millisecond longer than you absolutely have to, and God forbid you click on it, you are not a high IQ individual. Yeah, absolutely. It is its own sort of reverse

filter of like, and they know that when they make these things, anything they're making is like a fucking scam, right? Anything they're selling with that, starting in that way is a scam. They're flattering your ego and you are being tricked. Are you going to have your money

stolen and the reason they're going to steal your money and the reason they've chosen you is because you're a fucking idiot. They know that if you think you've got a high IQ, you're a fucking idiot and they're going to be able to take your money. Somebody who thinks they have a high IQ and clicks on this thing. Yeah. It's a hundred percent conversion. Yeah. They just, we don't even have to do anything.

They just send us their money at that point. They're so stupid. The only problem for them. It just goes straight to a website that says you money send and they just do it. That's great. That's the easiest grift of them all. What about a scam that attacks high EQ females? Do they get that?

Do women get that? If you're a high EQ female, struggling with procrastination, that's the women version of it. Yeah, yeah, I wonder whether there's like a super masculine version of guys being like macho about their high EQ. Yeah, that is very funny. Write it down.

Yeah. I have an EQ of 160. I'm part of I'm part of emmensa. Memsa. There's a mumsa. Mamsa. Mamsa.

It's the world's smartest mums. Oh, Alistair, I have. a dream about the other day about you doing stand-up. Really? And I wrote down one of the jokes that you did in it. Great. And... I'll try it on stage.

It's... Look, it's not... It's not great. Sorry. I guess that's your fault. Yeah, it is not me. Who I've presented myself to be to you. I'm the world's most educated guy.

you mess with me, you're going to learn a thing or two. Not enough to take the title, though. I mean, it felt like something, you know. I mean, it's definitely a joke, I think. It's good. I like, you know, I enjoyed that. I couldn't believe it. I couldn't believe it.

That I woke up. But, yeah, I don't know, there's something about calling yourself the world's most educated guy. I don't know. I don't know. Yeah. I wonder if there's something like that, like the world's most educated, I don't know, like, you know, somebody who loses fights, don't mess with me. If you mess with me, I'll teach you a thing or two.

I don't know. I can't, yeah, I can't, no, forget it. Because I always, I often think about what it would be like if I, like about how many highlight reels I would be in if I was in the UFC. Oh, yeah. Because I just think about like just all the footage of me getting knocked out. But I'd be in a lot of highlight reels. Yeah. I mean, that's one way to achieve immortality.

People will be watching that for eons. Yeah, yeah. I mean, there's definitely like how, imagine how hard that must be as somebody who's like, you're like, you've been training really hard to be the best. And there's like two or three videos of you losing consciousness brutally to somebody else. And that's mostly how you're remembered. There's definitely a few fighters like that that every time I see them in the UFC, all that I know them from is from somebody else's highlight reel, like losing consciousness.

There's a great guy. Oh, what's his name? Like, you know, guy who got knocked. out by Chamev Roershock I think his name is well yeah Gerald Mearschart

right Mearschart yeah it's something like that it's Gerald Mearschart and you know obviously to anybody outside of the UFC he would be an incredibly

difficult fight right but because there's just he just has a little bit of doubt in his eyes, right, in this fight. And he gets knocked out almost with just one punch. It's just impossible to not see that in his eyes every single time he enters into the ring. Yeah.

And even not that long ago, he did have a fight that he actually won, but it was after, like, being on the ground and taking an incredible beating. And almost like the guy got tired. and then he managed to throw his legs up and choke the guy with his legs. There was a few guys like that where it's like, ah, my strategy is get beaten up until they don't have the strength

to fight back. They've got nothing left. Yeah. Then you got it right where you want him. Yeah. Crazy. That's amazing. Um, Alistair.

I reckon we probably have five sketch ideas. You are absolutely correct, Andy. I can't imagine what they are, but let's move on. That brings us to our three words from a listener, Andy. I don't know if you know this, but we have listeners, and some of them support us on Patreon. And for simply three measly dollars, they can suggest three words to us from a listener.

and today that listener is Timothy. Timothy himself. Oh, I wrote Timothy himself. Timothy sent you a message and he says in this message, Hello, Al and Andy. I would like to submit three words from a listener and that listener is me. We like that one. Oh, and it says Timothy.

Just being clear that even though it's coming from somebody called Timothy, that it's not like a mom or something like that using Timothy's account. Got it. Now, we still don't know whether or not it's just somebody else writing through Timothy's account and lying, but it would be nice that people clarify that.

Don't introduce that. The three words I would like to suggest are, and then he writes the three words, and then says, thank you. Would you like to guess what the first word is? I have to guess what goes in that blank there. Yeah, okay. The first word is baron, B-A-R-O-N, like the Lord. Yeah, well, it's close in a way. It's somebody that you could imagine being a baron.

The first one is Alistair. That's the first word. Alistair feels like it could be the name of a baron, you know? Yeah. Wow, this is interesting. And this is your spelling of Alistair with a It's my spelling with a D and 3A, one eye at the end. I'm going to go, the second word is lists. I wonder if this is a reference to Alistair lists everything. It could be, Andy, it could be a reference to that, but the second word they've chosen is horse.

So it could be Alistair, horse, everything. Okay, right, so the horse is H-O-R-S-E, like the... Yes, like the animal. The first one is also an animal. Alistair is also an animal. Alistair, horse. I'm going to go the last word, baby.

Alistair horse baby? Yeah. In many ways, you're close, Andy. You are close because the last word is replacement. And what is a baby if not a replacement person? Yes Alastair Get rid of the old ones, yeah

Alistair horse replacement So that invites one to consider a couple of options Number one being that you're replaced on the podcast by a horse Oh yeah Sort of clipping and clopping and winnieing I imagine Winnieing even more than me Even more than you do at the moment Even more clipping and clopping

or it's possible that you know, you know, Alistair horse replacement, it could also just imply you get a replacement for your horse. Your current horse, you go out to a horse shop and you seek a replacement. Or it's, or it's like a business that you run called Alistair horse replacement and you go out and you replace horses with an Alistair not necessarily with an Alistair you could replace them not necessarily with another horse no no they just will be it just depends on what you're

using your horse for exactly because say it's something that you ride occasionally but it's mostly out in the paddock, right? I could just give you something that does that. You know, something that you write occasionally could be like one of those bull, you know, one of those fake bull things there. Yeah, yeah. Mechanical bull, right? But you just leave it outside so it rusts and shit.

Yeah. Feed an apple to it. Mechanical bull. Yeah. Electronic bull. trying to think of all the different types of bulls there could be. Vegetable. Vegetable.

Yeah. Amicable. Here we go. The only bull I'm interested in is an amicable. Sorry, a hammock bowl. It's a hammock attached between two mechanical bulls that are on. And you got to, and it's like, it's like, it's like, It's like the mechanical...

But you've got to try to sleep. Who can sleep the longest? Who can be the most relaxed? Yeah. Who can... Who can zone out the most and drink all of their lemonade without spilling any? I think that's a good idea, Alistie.

I'm like a bull. amicable and of course the name which is a pun on amicable is because it's a lovely

it's a lovely sport exactly you know exactly and not everything has to be about running and jumping and things like that

sometimes it's just like that's you know that's the sport for people who do have a high EQ You know, macho guys who love to compete but have a high EQ are incredible at regulating their emotions and can have the most relaxed time whilst riding on a hammock between two mechanical bulls.

Mm-hmm. Yeah. I'm trying to think. My brain's sort of mulling over the idea of like some kind of like not a mechanical bull, but like a mechanical. you know like a horse or a mechanical pig chicken um pig chicken something no but something that would be very gentle and easy to ride there's no challenge you just get on there and you just sit on there and you just do do do do do do do do oh yeah and everyone can have one a yak a yak a mackable no we're not a mickiacable sorry that sounds like a snack

Like the McIackable Like that Like if McDonald's do you think it would change the world Like do you think if you want to break the internet these days You probably would have to get McDonald's to start serving yak Like a yak Big yak

The big yak The big yak The big yak Oh my God that's right there Not the What did I say? The Mciacable Oh man

That was Yours was much more simple I think I'm thinking of the The snack snackables. Right. You know, unless they're doing a, you know, the snackables, which is basically just like, I think it's just bread, like literally like just regular like, you know, tip top kind of like shop bread

and has like peanut butter and jelly in between them. And then they've kind of like cut it out with like a bowl so that it's just round and then put in a package. I think that's all that they are, those snackables or whatever. It sounds like more work than McDonald's would do on any piece of food. I've never had food surf with more contempt than the things that I've opened in a package from McDonald's. Anyway. Andy, I can't take your opinions just because you don't, you don't, you didn't know about the meal.

Don't know what you're talking about. Yeah. I reckon we're done. Do you reckon we're done? You think so? I think that's been an episode. Yeah. Should I write down the big, the big yak?

Yeah. I don't know if there's anything there, but the big yak. I would like to meet a yak. I'd like to spend some time with a yak. They seem otherworldly, magnificent, mysterious. You know, I think the traveling yak show, where they just, like, you know, bring yaks to different towns and you get to look at a yak and sort of meet it, maybe touch it through a fence. Yep. And, you know, somebody tells you don't do that. Like that. Oh yeah, that's good.

That's part of the experience. I had a friend who... That guy makes $10,000 a month. Maybe. He's a high-income individual. Yeah. Yeah, I had a friend who got given a yak bone ring and from somebody and that that ring stank for like two months.

A smell of yak. He had to wait for the yak to wear off of it. stinky yak ring that's upsetting I don't even know how he got it into the country I don't know how can you get an animal product

that smells so bad clearly it's just reeking of that animal's diseases still that's a that's a finger ring that lingers that's a linger

a lingering fingering yeah that's what I was trying to say yeah that's okay the lingering fingering which is the doubt

it's such a beautiful reference to the early part of this episode, Andy. See, it's come full circle. It's litter to litter. From litter to litter to litter. From lingering to fingering to lingering, fingering. And Andy, let me take you through the sketch ideas for today. We got Holland, don't want solids leaving.

Happy for liquids to come in. They know how to deal with those. We've got the kitty litter. Kitty litter is the original grey Poupon. Yes, it's I mean an artificial dirt You know We got reverse climax

The low max The Lomax or the climb-in Yeah That's even better If we call The Our kitty litter product We call it the original

Grey Poupon The original grey Poupon Yeah, I think so Um Then we got Cat That doesn't shit, the gray poop in.

Then we got shark tank. We're pitching compound words and concepts to Ben Stiller for his new movie. So we can have some cultural impact. I reckon that would actually be a really funny sketch to film

with Ben Stiller. I reckon we could get him interested. Yeah, I would like to. He's up for that kind of stuff. I think he's up for that kind of stuff. Funny or die still doing things? Get him on that. I think Funnier Dye is who Dropout are now. Really?

I think it's like the leftovers from Dropout. Right. We got Seymour Hoffman's Oscar Memorial compilation with just different versions of Ice Sharded. And then we got high EQ macho males. Then we got hammockable. And then we got the big yak. the big yak burger I guess we have to call it the big yak burger

Andy we did it I pitch hello I mean goodbye and thank you thank you Andrew thank you all for listening to the podcast that was the 509th episode

can you imagine how many episodes we've done it's just over 509 And also did we point out, Andy? I don't know if we pointed out on Pod, but that during the 500th episode, we did one year's worth of, it's coming up with sketch ideas. That's so insane.

Yeah. And while me and Andy are in no way promising that we would do a 600th episode. And that's, we, we, right after the episode, after we did the 500th, we were both like, there's no way we're doing another one of those. Both me and Andy have had a moment where we've been like, I've been thinking that it might be possible.

It started creeping back in. Oh, my God. Why would we? Why? But I was just looking at the beginning of the 500th episode the other day, and I feel like I look tired at the beginning of the episode. I think it's, I mean, yeah, it's probably a tired anticipation, you know. but no i think i was just tired i think i got fucked up i got fucked up by the my whole thing i think it was just tiring i was you know whatever but like i think it's um the more absurd that's the problem

is that the more absurd and the worse an idea it is the more tempting it is to do you know in a way the less people who want to watch it the fewer people who care that are interested the longer and harder. The more worthwhile it does seem as a joke. Yeah. That's what we're seeking. Yeah, we're seeking. But I think the problem is,

I think the problem is once you do 600, you're sort of locked in until 1,000. I feel like, don't you? Yeah, yeah, well, yeah. Yeah, I mean, you're right. And we're going to need a bigger bucket. Mm-hmm. Yeah.

and we love you. Yo. Thank you and goodbye. Thank you, goodbye.