Two In The Think Tank - 521 - "BOILED SANDWICH"

Episode Date: April 15, 2026

Open mouth billionaire, Bosom Lobes, Motherhood Brotherhood, Philosophical Cheese Hater, Salt Air, Bad Bidets, Terrible Toilet Paper, BSYou can now purchase A Listener hats by emailing [e-mail] up on the 500th episode hereCheck out the sketch spreadsheet by Will Runt hereAnd visit the Think Tank Institute website:Check out our comics on instagram with Peader Thomas at Pants IllustratedOrder Gustav & Henri from Andy and Pete's very own online shopYou can support the pod by chipping in to our patreon here (thank you!)Join the other TITTT scholars on the TITTT discord server hereHey, why not listen to Al's meditation/comedy podcast ShusherAlasdair Tremblay-Birchall: @alasdairtb and instaAnd you can find us on the Facebook right here(Oh, and we love you) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hott-ling-ling-lang, Lilling-Lang, Lill-Ling-Lang, Lillin-Lang, Lillin-Lang, Lill-Ling-Lang, Lill-Ling-Ling-Lang. Hello and welcome to do the Thick-Tag, the show where we come up with five sketch ideas. Sketch ideas.

I'm Andy. And I'm my list of George William Trumbly-Birtchall. Andy, do you feel how now as musicians we really feel each other and we can see where we're going? I was thinking about this is big, like the era of music making that we're in. I was indulging in some thoughts about our musical career. For sure.

Do you think that the podcast could be a good launching pad for a musical career for us? Sort of an a cappella-based, improvised musical career? I would say it's a terrible launching pad, but I would also say it's the best shot we've got. Yeah. You know. We got to take it. really, that was a really good analysis. Thanks.

I'm thinking of going into analysis. Okay, well, hey, this is a better launch. That launching pad analysis was a really good launching pad for your analysis career. I think being a fucking commentator should be illegal. You shouldn't be allowed to just go out there and say, shit. Just say your opinion about shit. You know?

Is this exactly the kind of thing that would be outlawed under your iron fist? Under my regime, exactly this kind of commentary is the kind of commentary that I would not, I would not brook. I would not give it. You wouldn't brook? I would give a short shrift. I would. What's another bizarre phrase for not

allowing something? I wouldn't I wouldn't I wouldn't give it the time of day? No time a day. Sure. Time of night? It's a night only pursuit.

You can have night time? It's not daytime, baby. I consider I consider eating the Hursuit pursuit. Eating? Yeah. What does her suit mean to you?

I wasn't sure if it meant chubby. No, it means hairy. Oh, yeah. Yeah, well then I could see why in your mind, in your interpretation, that wouldn't make any sense. You're a jazz linguist, you know? Yeah. And I'm trying to bring it to French and people are looking at me really, fucking strangely. like we don't say that.

Really? They don't fuck up words in the way that we do and it stays as understandable. I mean, that feels like a missed opportunity, you know? I think I could also just be doing it really poorly. Well, you can't be fucking it up poorly.

I reckon you're fucking it up. I reckon you're fucking it up great and it's their French years that are not letting them hear the beauty of the misplayed Sure. But what if it's like it's all like her suit, pursuit kind of situations where I'm using one of the words completely incorrectly. And then I'm trying to add a flare.

And then they're like, well, firstly, that doesn't work in that context. And secondly, this doesn't make sense. I mean, that's, yeah, look, you're up against it for sure, for sure, but push on, I reckon. Push on. Yeah. So Hagrid would be a Hursuit man. Yeah, by both definitions. So you're safe.

That's right. You are safe there. That's right. So I will just start. I will only describe men as her suit if they are both hairy and laden with layers of human blubber. I wonder if your skin has more surface area if you grow more hair or if the hair just gets spread out. You know, just like, if you have more skin,

does the body, you go, like, I'll chuck a couple more pores in this. Yeah, well, I guess, so picture a man getting scalped. Mm. For science. Yeah. Yeah. And then, and then the scientist stretch out his skin. By, is it by, like, is he getting scalped by a medical grade Native American?

Yeah. That's right. Yeah. That's right. Yeah. And just get them fresh out of the package, the plastic ceiling, and he comes out. I'm not saying sealing as in the roof. No.

I mean sealing as in the thing used to seal. I don't mean seal as in the animal, the mammal, that lives like an underwater dog. And I don't mean sealing in this pursuit that would have been pursued, not her suit, that would have been her sued by the North American indigenous population, hitting them over the head with the club. That's right. So I didn't mean that. And so anyway, so they stretch this skin slowly so that it actually stretches and it doesn't tear.

And then they put it back on your head. All loose. Like all loose. But then I guess they kind of like they sort of, you know, they staple it on. under your chin or whatever, like that all that loose skin and stuff like that so that you kind of are wearing a bonnet. Yeah.

Right? Goes over your ears and stuff. Yeah. And then they would wait and see whether or not you grow more hair follicles in the gaps. Or whether your hair just grows sort of more separated. They get a bit more land each. Yes.

Yes. Reclamed land, space for them to spread out. Maybe they'll get thicker. I was thinking more about the body, really, than I was about the top of the head, because the top of the head doesn't really feel like something that grows all that much. The top of the head? Yeah, like if you put on weight, you know, like your hair up there, that part, I don't know if you put on, if you get fat under your scalp.

Maybe you do. Yeah. I mean, they've got to put all that fat somewhere, don't they? That's true. You know? Yeah. And it'll always... Yeah, the body will get around to putting it everywhere, I imagine.

Do you reckon when you're a bit chubby and you eat a piece of fatty meat and your skin kind of feels like it's already at capacity? Do you reckon there's cells in there going, what am I going, where have I got a bloody put this? Oh, I suppose I can move some stuff around. Yeah. Do you think it's like one fat cell, you know, like a regular living cell grabs like a fat cell and then goes and sticks it in the pot?

How does it get there, do you think? I really don't know. I mean, is it like people getting onto a Japanese train where they just sort of keep shoving them down into areas and all the other cells that are already there go, like that. You're hurting all your fat. It's actually really mean to your existing fat.

I don't understand how fat works. I am because it is, like liposuction or like that people can get fat taken out from places and put back into other places and I'm like can you just like squirt cells into your body and what the body just is like connects them up to the plumbing or whatever like how do the cells get what they need how does that work don't they need to be part of a structure don't they need to be connected to the you know the like if you get fat from your butt injected into your lips or something or yeah whatever like That fat, it's not, it's just loose, it's not like...

It's just loose fat, yeah. Yeah. I don't get it. That doesn't make any sense to me. Yeah. And how can you lipin suction it out without causing massive internal bleeding? Yeah. Well, I assume they've thought about that part because they do do it.

But I reckon the thing, but you do hear that it's like more complicated than that way. They're like, oh, yeah, your body is like, knows it's got a certain number of fat. cells and it's and it always tries to get you back to that you know to that whatever weight updates that you is your norm I don't know yeah I think it is more complicated but well maybe for maybe for a couple of weeks you got big old lips I mean what would be the the the the best part of the body to sort of add fat cells to and like you never see like big big old plump ears you know big fatty ears Like, is there a way, like, how could you get, I don't know, I guess you couldn't make ears mussely.

So fatty is the only real thing that you could add to it. Yeah, I guess you could make them like a, like, you know, the lobe really big and bosomy. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, you could have, like, yeah. Oh, yeah, like a fat drop, like a fat drop. Yeah, yeah, the lobe you could absolutely puff out like a, like one of those, like, Dutch, like, a cream-filled. pancakes, you know, pancake things or whatever. Yeah, I'm not sure if it's Dutch.

Actually, it could be another place, but a poffin, a poffin wagon or something like that. Poffetches. Poffetches is just their little, they're not cream filled. Those are just those little fat little pancakes that they make, which are so good. They should try and make little versions of more desserts. Because something about those little guys and the ratio of like fried, butteryness. to the size and the crust and the puff and everything of them is, is, I don't think like, I don't think I'd enjoy eating them every day,

but like as a very occasional thing, they ascend to the stratosphere of what's possible. Oh, do they get dusted with, do they get dusted with confectionery sugar? They get a dolep of cream, they might get some fresh, raspberries put alongside them. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, it's, it's magnificent.

It's like if you if you hadn't been given it, right, didn't know it existed and you were a billionaire and you said, bring me the most delicious food in the world. Yeah, I thought you that as a billionaire. I think you should just be like, as a billionaire, you should be able to just close your eyes and say, put the most delicious food in my mouth and just open your mouth. And then people do it.

From all the lands. A tributary of edge nation brings their most delicious food, morsel. And when it's not delicious, you're fired. And when it is delicious, you get to keep working there. Yeah. And he's just got people traveling all throughout the lands and the seas, because there are some seafoods. but I was going to say, wait, I'm sorry, I just heard so.

But I had thought of a way, because we haven't got any sketch ideas yet, Andy, except for that guy. Oh, wait, look, Billy, open, the open mouth billionaire. What about the puffing out the lobes? What about bosomy lobes? I know, well, I can write down bosom loads. It doesn't, it doesn't feel like it was enough, but bosom loads, lobes. Lobes. bosom loads.

This is not the same thing. A bosom load. I gave the baby a real bosom load of milk. That's how women should talk about. They should talk about motherhood in a tougher way. Motherhood. Yeah. You know, a real man masculine.

Yeah. Like Andrew Tate starts a... Yeah, great. A motherhood podcast. A motherhood podcast. We're going to be tit-maxing that kids feed. Yeah, great. Whole.

Yes. The motherhood brotherhood, he calls it. The other way that I saw the motherhood brotherhood is very funny. Okay, wait. I didn't even realize that was a sketch idea. Everything. Since you revealed, you haven't been writing down sketch ideas. And we've come up with so many really good ones.

I'm going to have to make it. more obvious that we are coming up with sketch idea, almost everything we say is a sketch idea, you need to write them all, everything down. Brotherhood is, but the there's a really interesting video

of Andrew Tate, and I'm assuming it wasn't AI, but that I saw one time where he's like, I think he's on a roof or something like that, talking about whether or not and this is not the kind of thing I would talk about. Andy but it's it was just a weird angle to that you wouldn't picture him taking and he

was talking about whether or not you would sleep he would sleep with like a a trans woman that's like a tan if you had the option between a trans woman that's like a tan or a biologically born woman that's like a three okay right and then him arguing that of course you go for the 10 which which which which is like I have, I would have no problem with either. Right. And, and, and, but the idea that, you know, his philosophy and his weird, both misogyny, you know, like weird, like homophobia, all that kind of stuff like that, still the primary thing

is like, like, how good you look with this thing under your arm or while, you know, like, if somebody was to walk in on you while you were. having sex with somebody, at least you look more successful with, you know, I don't know, like, you know, but it was just an interesting bit of, you know, like to see their logic twisted. It doesn't, it doesn't, you don't, you don't, you wouldn't predict that that would be the conclusion that he would come to. Mm. I think, um, I mean, it's, it's, it's interesting to make these really extreme people, you know, like the algorithm creates these people to a certain extent.

pushes them to the very limit. And they become almost like a sort of a philosophical concept. You know, what is the most outrageously stupid hyper-masculine fuckhead we can create, right? And then once you've made him, you know, it's like Superman, create Superman and then be like, could he move the moon, right? Yeah. And put him through these trials. Same with these people. with their positions, you know, you create them and then and then you put them to the test

and you you test philosophical ideas. That's right. It's like if I was to come out and claim to be and publicly begin to be, whilst professing to be as well as living my life as this, the man who hates big bites of cheese more than anybody. Right? Yeah. Let's say that was the thing I did, right?

Suddenly, once I am that, people can put me through different activities and tasks and they can see what it means in practice to be the guy who is the most anti-big bites of cheese of anyone.

Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. Would you rather take the big bite off a small block of cheese or a small bite off a big block of cheese, you know, that kind of thing. That's right, yeah. And I would say small bite on both because I don't like big blocks of cheese. I mean, I do like big blocks. No, no, I like big blocks. And I can't lie about that. And, but it's just the bites. That's all it is. It's the, you know me. You know all my arguments about this, Andy. It's just inefficient. It's a, you're, you're maxing up. You'd be like, what if we, what if we made your mouth bigger?

What if you, we hit you with some sort of growth rate and made you 10 times the size? Would you, would you now take a bite of cheese that says, what you would now consider a big bite? Would, would you now take that because relative to you, that's smaller? This is the kind of stuff we can learn. when we have this thing on. Yeah. If I get really small and then I take a tiny bite, but for the size of my mouth,

it's now really big. Yeah, yeah. Even though it's still, in the context of how I was saying it when I was a regular size, it's still a small bite. This is a really good idea. And I think, like,

you could be part of it. This could be something done in a laboratory, basically. They've created you genetically in the lab. They've made you, and then they are testing you in this way. And they're announcing the results, I imagine, publicly, on some sort of nationally televised. That's right. They're interrupting whatever you're watching.

They're interrupting the news to come on and say, we have findings. Do you like that all my scientists have Aussie accents, Andy? Does that make you feel proud of where you come from? Yeah, it does. Yeah. It does. And it makes me as a young girl growing up in Australia.

In rural Australia? Rural Australia. Rural Tasmania. I could be a scientist in a sketch. Yeah. Now, Andy, I was going to ask, do you consider where you grew up in, Tasmania to be rural? It's a good question.

Thank you. And good comment after my question. I don't know. I don't know where I classify a lot of my... I don't have much of a cultural identity, I think. But I imagine that's what a lot of people think. Like people who don't think they don't have an accent or something like that. Yeah.

Or some people know that they don't have an accent. I just grew up at a normal. way. Yeah. I mean, when people say that, when they go like, what is normal, you know, like that? And they act like there is no normal. But you kind of go like, normal is what I'm used to. Yeah.

Like, it's not some complicated thing, right? I understand that it, you know, if somebody's excluded from your normal, that can feel bad. But they got to, they got to not interpret it in the way that makes people feel bad. That I don't, that I don't mean. Yeah. Because how else could you understand normal, except for from your point of view? I mean, in your exact situation. This feels like a philosophical question that my normal upbringing left me ill-equipped to tackle.

Oh, it's abnormal. Can I say that, because you were talking about cultural identity, and I also don't really have that much cultural identity. I know that in Australia it was often being the Canadian guy which you could tell from my accent and then here it's weird because now nobody can have already said this on the podcast

but nobody can tell that normally okay that I am from Australia from my accent so I found myself saying it a lot and I can't stop saying it I'm telling people all the time it's like I need to be different

I think being different, maybe that is your identity. Yeah, I'm just not, I'm not like you. That's normal to me as not being like you, whoever you are. You're an outsider. You're a classic outsider. You know, you're alone. I sort of, I'm a fish in water, but like an outsider. From a different body of water.

Yeah. From a slightly different body of water. Good. Good. Yep. Yeah. I'm a fish out of my usual water. I'm a...

Okay, well, what about... Freshwater fish. Freshwater fish in another freshwater pond. Ah, right. Yeah, okay. Yeah. I don't want to... You know what looks awful?

Is that thing when you see freshwater or saltwater creatures swim into an area that's the other one? You ever seen that? No. And they start like, they start like going like, blah, blah, blah, blah, like that. Like they like, it really doesn't sit well with them. I mean, I imagine. Like convulse or something like that.

Yeah. I imagine that's sort of like us going into like a different atmosphere, you know, like going into a fucking. Trying to breathe hydrogen or something or. Or salt, salt air. Salt air. They should make that. Yeah. fun.

Yeah, so that tropical sort of amphibians could come and live outside in the air. Because imagine if there's like, imagine there's like ocean amphibians, but they can't, the only reason that, but they've never left the water because every time they do, the air's not salted enough.

But if you could get more salted air. Maybe fish are actually amphibians and we just need to make salty air. Yeah. And then we'll be able to coax them out, make it more amenable for them. That'd be so nice. That'd be, I mean, imagine that. It would just change everything and they start just walking on one fin.

I would think the tail fin. Use it like a foot. Obviously. Obviously, of course. Use it like one of those blades like Oscar Pistorius, but a single blade. And that way their eye will finally be facing forward. You know, I assume they'll move sideways, which would mean that their eye is facing forward, and they'll be able to see perfectly behind them with their other eye.

They might even be superior to us, and we might begin to regret the creation of this salt air. Well, I will never regret. You know, I'll never regret trying something new. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, we have fresh air already. Yeah. It implies the existence of salt air. that's right that's right yeah because or else what other kind of air is there you know there's

inside air but that's really just fresh air that's inside most of the time yeah yeah a lot of the time what we consider to be fresh air i think is just air that's a bit colder because the heater's not on yeah that would be we should do some we should we should we should do some analysis and um determine whether fresh air is a myth I feel like it's going to be used by big companies to be like, Freshers are myth, and then they'll use it so that they're allowed to pollute more. Yeah, pollute more and probably give us houses that have less windows

and keep us in little boxes. Oh, well. When you were talking about your identity thing before, it made me think about a thing, because I don't know if you know this, but on my Nana's side of the family, right, my dad's mom, They were peach growers for, I think, two generations, maybe three generations, right? Yeah.

And, you know, which means that I come from peach growing people. That's true. And I would like to make that more of my identity. You know what, you know? Yeah. And it's just I don't know anything about my culture. No, I did know about your peach growing peoples. and we did, I did talk to your nana about this.

Yeah. When we visited. That's right. And then I stopped you from going to visit the one remaining peach tree. Well, I mean, finding out about that was a big thing, because that means that one day there's a chance. If I can get access to that one remaining peach tree of the type of peach that my family created, I might be able to taste my birthright.

you know yeah I mean it did make me genuinely sad when your nana told us about how they sold the farm and then the guy

who bought it ripped up all the peach trees to plant like fucking like oh finally I can get all these peach trees out of here yeah

I don't know to get like plant sorghum or something like that no well we need more sorghum yeah well the world need sorghum.

I have I have sorghum but that's just because of my gingivitis There's a

guy here Daniel Karen who does a joke that I really like he says

he had a jet of water shooted his butthole today and he goes it wasn't

a biday but it wasn't a good day either Oh, that's spectacular. Yeah. No. Do you think, how do you feel about the bidet?

Have you ever used a bidet? Man, my brother's really big on getting those Japanese toilet seats, and they are spectacular. Really? So it's built into the toilet seat, is it? Yeah, it's built into the toilet seat, and it always seems to just be right on target. Yeah, wow, so direct. How does it get out of the way of the poop? Does it sort of emerge?

Like, does it go, and then like a little arm comes out, right? No, it's right in the way, and it just falls and just. And then when it squirts, it bubbles through the squeam. Yeah, squirts off right up your back, you know, over your head. you're looking at the ceiling it lands in your eye it's if you want to know what it's like you can just go out into the yard and shit onto a hose and then turn on the hose and blast yeah just try it's like that that's what the Japanese like that I think yeah what about it it's it's a great movie title is bad bad day um tell me about that and or is that a reference to

It's a reference to the conversation we just had about a bidet that doesn't work very well. Oh, okay. It's really shaped. Great. Yeah. And it's a company. It's made by the same people who made cardboard straws or paper straws.

And they made it with anger. They made it with hate in their heart. They said, oh, yeah, we can't use plastic straws. All right. Oh, you want to use less toilet paper? It's like, because that's what happened with the paper straw. I think it was made by somebody who was upset that we couldn't use paper straws. I mean, he couldn't use plastic straws anymore.

Oh, okay. And I reckon while he was designing, he used the word, he angrily said the word woke a lot of times. I like that. Yeah. Yeah, made from spite and made in the, darkness, you know, probably as a form, almost a form of Satan worship. Yeah. To anger God.

And it was made in collaboration with the toilet paper people who are trying to get people away from bidets. Right? And so it's a movie a bit like, you know, Nike Air or Air or whatever it was. And then the other one, Black, Blackberry, which is about, you know, the beginnings of a product and how it became so big. Mm-hmm. Right? But this one is, it's all the backroom deals and all the right-wing think tanks getting involved and trying to show us, you know, that the folly of going against their wishes, which is for us to wipe our asses with toilet paper. Yes.

And they make it a really cheap bidet. They make it very widespread. They get contracts with all their, you know, different public buildings and, you know, shopping centers. And they're in all the supermarkets, Wollies, Coles, even Aldi. Wow. $25 for this thing. cheaper than a regular toilet seat plugs in super easy to plug it in

and suddenly shit all up your back shit everywhere right and it's impossible to uninstall oh no it can't be defeated it's a Chinese toilet seat trap that's what they call it but it's actually it was invented by a guy from New Zealand

I was thinking that what I might do in my in my what I might do is I might try and, is that a reference to kiwi fruit and Chinese gooseberries? Oh, you know what? I don't.

Maybe that's where it was coming from in my head. I was just picking something random, but that might have been why I thought the Chinese thing. And the, yeah, Chinese gooseberries and Kiwi. Nothing's random. Everything does a reason for everything. What I thought I might do is you know how, like, you sometimes you go to a public toilet, and they've got that toilet paper that's in a, a little box like tissues, but they're sort of like waxy.

They're a single-ply individual sheets. I was thinking I might get that for my house. Have one of those installed. You know, and then tell people, tell people that that's what I got. And that I think that that's good. It's a self, it's a self-fat-berging like toilet paper system. tell people that it's so that people, like I presume the reason that that exists in those public toilets, those terrible, that terrible, awful toilet paper that feels bad in your hand

on your butt, makes you worry you're going to touch your butt hole, um, yeah, poop on you, and, and doesn't wipe very well, right? Yeah. And I presume the reason, triple threat that that exists, not triple ply, but it is a triple threat. It's a shatble threat to your health and your hygiene and your comfort. I presume that exists so people don't steal the toilet paper, right? Yeah, they don't want to bring it home.

That must be it, right, to make the product so bad and, like, so difficult to use that it's impossible, it's impractical to steal it. I presume. Yeah. Yeah, I guess because you could either steal the whole box, which is usually in a a metal case. Or you could steal individual sheets. Sheet at a time.

And it's like a toilet paper where you would rather have shit caked in your ass than wipe with it. Yeah. Like not only will I not steal it, I won't even use it. That's how good this product is. I will wipe my ass on the side of the seat. I think that some of these are, like some of these are wrong. right-wing products, I think.

No, it must be right-wing. It must be. That one is, I would say, is a fascist product. There must be a super pack behind that. There must be a whole, the Coff brothers. Yeah, the Coke brothers? That's not how you pronounce Coke. I mean, that's, I don't know how you pronounce that word,

even though that's how they do it. But when you're a billionaire, it doesn't matter what's real. What's logical? They shape reality. They're the cock brothers. They're the cock brothers. That's what they are. Cock or coch.

But of course, cock is more hilarious, Andy. Thank you for that acknowledgement. Anyway, is the idea of me getting that one of those it's sold in my house? Is that a sketch idea? Let's try it.

Awful toilet paper. And, you know, then I'd be able to have them sort of have somebody come around and replenish them. Get one of those people in a high-vis janger. And one of those little toilet trolleys

that they have with all their spray equipment in it. One of those blue plastic trolleys that they take around. They could come to my house and they could replace the toilet paper. I would love it if there was a number I could call to report

the state of my toilet. Does this toilet need attention? Let us know. Or maybe an app where I could scan. a QR code and report a situation in my own bathroom. Yeah, maybe it could be, it could be like inestate.com.a.u. Yes. You know?

In a real site. So you just have to say whether or not it's in a state. Yeah, it's in a state. I'll say it's happening. Because you never say, oh, this, this toilet is in a state of hygiene and, you know, cleanliness. You only refer to something of being an estate when it's like not like that. I imagine, I mean, I imagine that they, every day they go into work,

the people who man the disgusting toilet hotline. And they say, when is somebody going to call up to say that it's actually the toilet's really lovely? Nobody ever does that. Yeah, that's true. They would be so upset. They would just be like constantly just the negativity that's coming in on these phone lines. nobody's ever complimenting them. Can I just say,

the way that the floor wasn't wet, the way that I didn't get piss up my leg when I sat down on the seat and felt like maybe it felt like burning? I don't understand how that would happen, but is that what other people's piss on your legs feels like burning? The way that didn't happen

was a joy. It changed my view of, of life. Andy, how would you feel if I went to three words from a listener? I think that's advisable under the circumstances. All right. Well, I don't know if you know this, but we have listeners. And one of them is called Abraham listener.

Abraham listener. I don't think this is the first time I've heard your name, but boy, oh boy. I feel great every time, yes. Yeah. I imagine if you were hoping that it was the last. and so Abraham has sent through these words from a listener

and there's three of them and would you like to guess the first word? Yeah, first word is spellbinding. You know what? It's close in that it's a compound word like spellbinding. I knew it. The first one is saltwater. Oh, my goodness.

Saltwater air. Saltwater taffy. It's the second word. No, crocodile. You're close. It's crock. C-R-O-Q-U-E. Ah, Mongeur is the third word, monsieur.

The third word is Monsieur and but also pronounced monseur. I'm sorry. It's okay. It's okay. To be with disrespect. No, no, no, no. I was, I mean, look, I just have to. We're trying to preserve the French language here.

Against this assault for a view. This is technically, technically, I could probably get arrested by the French language police here just for doing an English language podcast in Quebec. Could we? Oh, I love that they would come and kick down your door, find you hidden down there in the basement. Like, it is like you're cooking men. or doing something disgusting. That's right.

Oh, no. I can tell you the sketch idea for this. It's a new cuisine and it's boiled sandwiches, okay? Everyone loves a toasted sandwich, a fried sandwich, but this is the boiled sandwich. It's the boiled sandwich shop. You come in, you get a, it's like Subway, you choose your fillings, we make the sandwich,

and then we chuck it into all. pot of boiling water. A pot of hot boiling water. Maybe you could put it in like a cage, like one of those like cages where they kind of sometimes put stuff into and then you just drop it in. So it holds it together. Yeah, that's a good idea.

And then you can get it out sopping wet. Yeah. I mean, the real true boiled sandwich artists, they don't need that little cage. They can do it sort of delicately. Maybe they get a bit of a whirlpool going in the boiling water or something. But the idea. The idea of being able to go and get a boiled sandwich. I mean, which country do you think?

This feels like a British cuisine. This feels like this could be some traditional. Maybe Wales, probably the Welsh. Yeah. I think that we need like an Australian cuisine, and it can't just be barbecued meat, right? And nobody has brought anything this revolutionary to Australia. It's time for Australia to become destination for food.

Yes. And not just because there's, like, good food from Asia there. Mm. You want people to go there and have our iconic boiled sandwiches. You're right. We can completely feel, we can stand behind that as a nation. Feel proud of it. Yeah.

Yeah. And, you know, sometimes you could, you know, maybe you can, is it always boiled in water, just pure water? could be salt water. I'd be a... Or maybe even, you know, sweet water. Boiled seawater. Mm.

A boiled... What about a boiled milk? No. That's exciting. But I think it may be slightly undermines the integrity of the concept. Sure, sure, sure. You know, you're right. You're right.

I've got a little boy who's come to find me. Hang on. A little boil. You see, now, the thing is that there's always going to be some iconic first place that is going to be the first place to start serving these things. Kind of like in Bondi when there was that. What was that place when they did those Portuguese sandwich? Anyway. A porto.

Okay, this is, I'm going to put. Wally on. Hi Wally. How are you, Wally? Nice to hear from you. Are you doing well? What movie are you been watching? You've been watching the planes?

Yeah. Oh, how high did they fly? Would you say above buildings or below buildings? Well, he's holding his hand up as high as he can reach. Oh, okay. That's great. And, and, uh... You have to talk to him with words.

Yeah. I'm just a voice right now. Do you remember when we hung out at your house? Do you remember me? Yeah, was that fun? Yeah, I had fun. And we went and saw the kangaroos. Do you remember seeing the Joey? Do you go back and finish watching in your car? Okay. I'll be there soon. Thank you, Alastair. Andrew, thank you for the opportunity to speak with your young. youngest. Yes. As of time of recording, that is correct. Is it short for Wallard? It's Wallace.

There's an IS on the end, but Wallard is also a beautiful word. Absolutely, yeah. Wallard. Do you consider your kids' names words? I think so. Yeah. Yeah. I gave, I entitled all my children with a word.

They've given them their own unique words. that can be used to summon them. I guess a name is just a person title. It's true. Untitled Project, 17. Untitled sex project, 17. 17 is a number of times me and my wife have had untitled sex. Oh, but I think before you make love, it would be good to give it a title.

It's a making session. Yeah, you can say, what word are you going to be thinking about while we make love today? Yeah. Yeah. And I say like, oh, porridge. And I say, oh, and I say a ravioli. Like that. And then you kind of see that there's a food theme.

You know, call it like, you know, this is, oh, today let's have sex. Let's call this one the unbearable lightness of being fucked. Yeah, okay. I don't know. I mean, on, in the beginning of that book, he does. talk about the desire to like when you have somebody laying on top of you and the desire that it's almost not enough like yeah oh i've read the book well but he does talk about a lot at the beginning about basically just you know like that existence does lack you know a heaviness a

a, you know, a potency to it, you know, and everything. It possesses a lightness of being. Of being. Andy, should I just take us through the sketch ideas? Sounds great, Al. Since you're starting to herd children. Yeah. We've got the open-mouth billionaire who just closes his eyes and asks people to bring him foods from the, from around the globe.

We've got the bosom lobes. This is a new body modification so that you can thicken up your lobes, get it nice and bulbous. Real bonka donk-a-donk-dingle-dangles. I've had some not fat taken out of my butt, but some very crucial meat taken from the inside of my testicles. And I've had it injected, blended up and injected. Wow. Or chopped up and then put back. together into a beautiful shape inside of my lobe.

And then we've got Andrew Tate's Motherhood podcast, the Motherhood Brotherhood. We got big bite of cheese hater, the man who hates it the most. He's almost a philosophical concept. That's right. We got salt air so that some of those animals that might be amphibious in the ocean can finally come out because the air is sufficiently salted. sufficiently seasoned. We got bad bad days, the film,

about these right wing products. We got awful toilet paper, waxy individual sheets, but for home. I'm not ready. Sometimes I start sentences. Sometimes I start sentences in this, and then I have to just,

I have to keep going, because there's no time. You keep talking, and then you're like, Al, Al, why? Why are you not listening to what I'm saying? Oh, that didn't get a sufficient reaction, Al. I can't, where's the lie?

You know, I can't even defend myself. And then, of course, the final idea, boiled sandwich. It's going to be great. Andy, that's a great product, and I would like you to start experimenting at home with some boiled sandwiches. At the very least, it's an April Fool's post. How dare you? How dare you?

All of these ideas are above that. You have to, the only way for a comedy idea to be good is for it to not be a joke, for you to really do it. 365 days, you know? Yeah. Commit to the bit. Commit to the bit. Andy, commit it a bit.

Alastair. Yeah, what do you think? Thank you. Thank you. Thank you so much. I was a bit tired, but we did great. But right before the pod, we did, sorry, I know you want to end, but, and you need to end, but, right before the pod, we did talk about why I think diarrhea feels so bad, and it's because it feels like you're actually failing at pooping. Yes. It's the failure. That's the worst part.

Because you know in your heart of hearts that poop should be solid and should come out the butt and pee should be liquid and come out the penis. Yeah. And you're peeing out your butt. Yeah. It's really, you had one job, you know? You had exactly. And it's how we imagine Mr. Bean would poop. And so you've got your pooping in too much of a comedy. Yeah, Mr. Beanass shit. Yeah, Mr. Beanass, shit.

That's what I say when I do. Yeah. Mr. Beanass shit is a great name for an episode. Andy? We got there. Let's do the song. Thank you so much for listening to it. in the think tank you guys rock you guys do rock you're the real um motherhood brotherhood and

thank you thank you abraham listener for your delightful words you and and a guest one email alistair um well you can't email at buy us at two in the think tank yeah yeah and buy hats two in the think tank at gmail dot com or you can send me messages through the patreon Yes. I think at Toen Tank. It's all in the show notes. You guys know this. Anyway, we're going to go.

And so we love. Love you. You. Bye.