Two In The Think Tank - 526 - "MEMENTO$"

Episode Date: May 20, 2026

Mementos, Brotorboating, Driver's Bed, Velocity Limit, Proudgasm, Mrs Freeze, Book Unbinding, Readhab, Twist Top Flooring, Unhungry BombYou can now purchase A Listener hats by emailing [e-mail] up on the 500th episode hereCheck out the sketch spreadsheet by Will Runt hereAnd visit the Think Tank Institute website:Check out our comics on instagram with Peader Thomas at Pants IllustratedOrder Gustav & Henri from Andy and Pete's very own online shopYou can support the pod by chipping in to our patreon here (thank you!)Join the other TITTT scholars on the TITTT discord server hereHey, why not listen to Al's meditation/comedy podcast ShusherAlasdair Tremblay-Birchall: @alasdairtb and instaAnd you can find us on the Facebook right here(Oh, and we love you) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Bumble, bubble, bubble, bubble, bubble, bubble, bubble. Hello and welcome to two in the think tank, the show where we come up with five-sketched ideas. I'm Mandy. I'm Alistair, George William Chomley-Burgeon. And you... Alistair, you know... I have the listener. Yes.

You, ah, we've never, never remembered to remind... them who they are. Who they are and what their role is. Andy, do you think that if we had told them over the last 526 episodes, do you think that we would remember having told them that they are the listener? I wish I, I like to think I would remember. Yeah, and I like to think that too. Obviously, I'd like to think that I'm capable of doing the normal things that a human body can do.

But you know that we wouldn't remember. Yeah, you're right. See, that's one thing that I don't have to like to think that I would remember. That we'll forget everything. Yeah, I know for sure that we would forget everything. Name one sketch idea from the last episode. Yes. Name one sketch idea for the last episode.

Oh, my God. This is actually really cruel what you're asking me to do. One sketch idea from the last episode. I think this is disrespectful to me and the listeners because they probably hold all those sketches really dear to their hearts. Of course. Of course, A.

But they, those ones who do don't have four children and a dying brain, maybe. Yeah. Ah, yes. No, I've got absolutely no idea. We're not going to, I'm not going to drag this out. I'll just be honest with you for once in my life. Thank you.

If I'd given you a single hint, you would have started remembering Andy because that's how your brain works. but yes i wouldn't give you that alistair um what about this uh well yep a society where like this is like a sketch or a film set where nobody has any memories like memento but everybody everybody can't remember yeah that's really good it's like it's like if Christopher Nolan remade

no wait he had clintoplets no it's like and they all made a movie together James Cameron yeah made a sequel to Memento Mementos Mementos

and he's in there he's he's he's in the the pitch room he's all oiled up and he's ready to go and he writes the word memento and then he writes

memento mementos and he puts the dollar sign through the S the line through it and then he starts eating mentos mentos okay yeah yeah because this is how they're gonna

yeah yeah that's how they're gonna make this um so profitable so they're gonna do it there's not enough demand for that movie for a sequel to that movie so as long as they've just got enough funding to cover it.

There's not enough demand for Mentos either. No. I mean, I'm always, I work in advertising, Alistair, and when I say I work, I mean, I work, I really work. I slave. I sweat. I slave there. It's like for money.

The idea face. For money. Yes. And the, uh, the, uh, the, um, I'm, I'm, I'm always. always amazed that these companies have money to spend on advertising. I mean, I think they don't in the way that they're used to. And I'm not sure if, like, Mentos, I mean, Mentos used to, you know, they had big campaigns. They had jingles.

We all remember and love. You know, they have... I was singing it just the other day whilst walking around. I was no better than life. I mean, that's not even a jingle. That's a full... That's a full song. That's a fucking...

number one hit. Yeah. Sorry, you go. They, no, but like, and you sit there and you're like, how many Mentos packets could they possibly sell? And how many would they have to sell to pay for this beautiful song? This once in a generation talent that must have recorded this. I'm not kidding, actually, by the way.

That's a great song. It's a beautiful song, both the writing and the performing. I have played it at my way. I played at everybody's wedding. Off my phone. If I see a wedding, I get the Mentos ad up. Yes. Honey, get the...

My phone's out of battery. Get the Mentos add up on your phone. And then turn it up. I say a wedding on that boat. Hold my shoes. Yeah, yeah. I'm swimming with one arm. Above the water.

Yeah. Yes. They're motor boating away. motor boating away they've all got their faces in each other's boobs and they're going brr like that could you do motorboating with the balls do you think

motorboating with the balls yeah I mean I like the idea of motorboating with the boys with the boys oh great just because I mean boys do love boats the boobs that it feels masculine

doesn't mean you can't motorboat them. Ah, the man boops. Yeah. Yeah, that's true. And men, I think motorboating, I don't think women like motorboats as much as men do. Yeah. And I think like it feels like it's probably more for us than it is for them. Like, I don't think they even probably like the sound of motorboats, boats that much.

We do. We love it. Yeah. And you could do it in the butt. You could do it in the butt cheeks. You could do motorbutting for sure. Yeah. Motor boating with the boys.

Yeah. Because it's like overall it is, yeah, it is just a more, it is for the man. You know? Oh, you know what it would be great. Man getting to be the motor of a boat. They could, they could, whoever you're motor budding, could do a few big farts. And if you're lucky, they'll sound like that big horn

of the steamship leaving the dock. I am not saying it like. Yeah. Of course. I love that sound, Andy. So, I mean, that's a great thing. Yeah. And also motor budding.

You know, but male friends. who enjoy ships to do. Yeah. And I think what's interesting is that the guys want to be, really, I think it's more about having a reason to go like that than it is about having your face and some boobs because you don't really get to enjoy the boobs anyway. It's about getting to be.

It's not the best way to enjoy a boob. Yeah, that's true. And so, really, it's just about getting to be the motor of a boat. The motor of a boat. And so the water doesn't have to be a boob. I mean, you think about the importance of global shipping, you know. You think about the role that motors play in our everyday lives. In our food supply chains.

The logistics, all of this. Getting the products we love into our homes. To feel. that said, everybody is, like, and this is one of the biggest things in society today, is that yearning for significance that we all feel. And, and that it's, for many communities, and particularly for men in the modern world, it's hard to find. And it can be, it can turn really toxic, you know, it's responsible for a lot of the fractures,

a lot of the ruptures that are plaguing society, I think, is, both the fractures and the ruptures. Both of them. as we struggle and we fight and we do damage in the search for significance. Strive. And strive. And maybe all we need is to feel, to pretend that we're a big ship motor. Exactly.

Motor boating. That my body is covered in, you know, my face is a motorboat. I mean, the motor of a boat. And I guess the rest of my body is the ship. It's the ship. It's the ship. Yeah. There you go. On my back, there are shipping containers. Mm, piled high.

Yeah. Maybe high on my head. Precary. They look like they are going to fall off. On the back of my head, you know, sort of on my scalp, maybe there's little people walking around that were maritime engineers. The bridge is in my butt cheeks. The captain, if he is anywhere, if I'm the ship. Yeah, I'm pointing my toes. ship where the motor is. No, they're not. No, they're not. No?

The captain is not at the back of the ship. On one of those big... On one of those big delivery ships? Are you thinking of a cruise ship? Oh, shit. You're absolutely right. They're right at the back there. They probably can't even see where they're going.

Must be hard taking corners. Yeah. You know? That's crazy. Yeah. Driving from the back seat. That big, big old... That ship's all bonnet.

hanging out the front there. They were sick of, they were sick of backseat drivers. That's how you get rid of the back seat. You sit in the back seat. Yes. Now the back seat is the front seat. That's right. Problem solved.

That's right. The backseat is all the seats. There's only one seat. Yes. The rest is beds and chairs, but that's for eating, not for driving. They're not passenger seats. Oh, a driving bed. Yes.

The driver's bed. Yeah. You have a nice angled mirror on the roof. You can lie down to drive. That's true. Recline. Yeah, there's actually no reason for us to be sitting. Not now that we have angled mirror technology.

Yeah. I mean, everything would be reversed. That you can put a mirror on an incline. Why do we have a mirror to see behind us when we're driving? I mean, we're perfectly happy to use mirrors to see behind us. Why can't we use a mirror to see behind us? see in front of us. That's right. Why am I even facing forward? That's exactly the same. Why are we facing forwards? Yeah. Yes.

Really good point. Yeah. Like, why not just have a big mirror on the back of the car? Yeah. And then I can just look over it when I want to look behind me. Yeah. And when I say behind me, I mean in front of me. In front of me. I'm facing that. I mean in front of me. I mean, behind me, the direction, behind the direction of I'm going in my car. Yeah, yeah. I mean, this would be a great loophole if it turned out that there were some laws like you, the speed limit only applied if you're going forwards. You know, actually, if you're going backwards, your speed is negative.

How crazy is that? Wait, wait, wait, I'm not going a hundred kilometers per hour. I'm going negative 100 kilometers per hour. kilometers per hour school zone. You have got nothing on me. I'm still below the speed limit. That's a really good idea.

That's what you should do. If ever you get pulled over for speeding, quickly sit backwards in the seat. Turn around. Put your seatbelt on behind you. Off of her. Negative 100. They pull you over.

They say, do you know how fast you are going? and you say to them do you know what direction I was going velocity is a vector man it has a

direction and a magnitude so like I was going I was going do you think I was going over did you know you were going over the speed limit I was like I am 100% sure I was going under the speed limit because I was going

less than zero kilometers per hour. I was going minus 130 kilometers per hour. Yeah. In a school zone, which is very careful. I may be the most

careful man alive. Man alive. Man alive? Yeah. Man alive. I mean, that would be a great lullie in Australia. would be, would be also another great thing to say,

you know how we're always looking for non-blastphemous things to say during lovemaking? Yeah. You know, to express how impressed you are by your beloved's prowess. Yes, skill level. My goodness, you've increased in skill level since the last time we met. My goodness. I mean, my goodness is another really good one. Gosh.

Golly gosh, you've been working on yourself. Yeah. Well done. Oh, brava. Bravo. I just imagine that. Imagine if I was secretly working really hard on my sexual moves so that the next time, like, let's say I was taking all these courses and working up all these muscles. Alistair, can I tell you?

Yeah. I have recently added a sexual move to my repertoire. This is incredible, but you're telling me this, and I love this already. It's going really well. Really? Yeah. And I took a risk. Yeah.

And it paid off big time, paid off big time. Have you ever heard of penetration? Kissing. Pants off I have a feeling that what I am this move that I invented is not wholly original

I imagine it's well-trodden path for many people Sure Andy I mean of course I want to know I can't imagine you're going to tell us on the pod Are you? I mean, in a way, it's, it's, it's, it's very innocent.

Yeah. Because this is, I basically say, gooo, go, go, gag, I'm a little baby. Okay. And, and I got to tell you, it's killing in the bedroom. Yeah. Yeah. No, look, look, I probably won't tell you, but maybe I'll tell you off pod. Thank you.

Thank you for, you know. I think for the sanity... Because obviously you were the first person I thought of. Yeah. And then the listeners, obviously. And then the listeners, I gotta tell Al about this. And then I got to tell Al about this. Honey, sorry.

I'm glad that you're finding out is almost, you know, at the same time. Yeah. Yeah. I really love this, Andy, and I can't wait to hear off pod. I feel like it's a good choice to not say it on pod because I feel like... Yeah. it would for some reason I feel like if you told us on pod it would be something that you would end up hearing about

maybe for the rest of your life yes that's interesting that's a good point yeah and um and and because i've also heard that there's people that you work with that may have appeared started listening to the podcast occasionally you know what that's true that's another really good point and um but but you know what I think that around the coffee table I mean sorry the coffee around the sort of lunch

how did you know there's a coffee table involved well glass on top glass top when we moved into this house yeah one of the things that was left here by the previous owners is a full fucking glass

coffee table wow full glass like not even wooden legs it's like not even wooden legs it's one massive like folded piece of glass it weighs a fucking ton. But like, I can't imagine anything more stressful to have in a house.

Yeah, especially with sort of four children that love to take swings at things. Yes. To all they want to do is push one another through pains of stuff. Yeah. And, like if you... I mean, I wish they could have that breakaway glass for every window in the house that they use in movies. Yeah. to make.

They should, they should, they should, they should experiment with making that. I mean, I don't even know why they give us the glass that cuts you up. Yeah.

Why do we even make that for anybody? Just make everything out of sugar glass or whatever. Yeah. Come on, guys. Yeah. Is it because cows come and lick your windows and then they create a little hole? That's the reason.

That's the reason. Well, that's cool. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hit me. How about this? Okay. A guy learns a new sexual move. A guy learns a new sexual move.

It goes so well he has to stop the session to call his friends and tell them about it. And his mates are all really, really happy for him and proud of him. Yeah, I mean, I like that makes him ejaculate. His friends being proud of him. and that's how he has to come that's how he has to but he has to call up his friends and make it seem like he's not having intercourse

why's that let's say let's say it's just a guy who needs to feel like someone's proud of him in order to ejaculate yes that's good a little pat on the head but he has to be having intercourse in order to ejaculate but

he needs to hear that somebody's proud of him. Yeah. And for some reason, I guess his beloved just isn't proud of him. Maybe. Or he hasn't been able to tell anybody this. But why would he then call people up? Yeah, like how could he justify calling people up?

Maybe he has to say, oh, I'm sorry, I have to take this call. And then he said, that'll work. Yeah. And then he says I Hey John He's secretly making the call Yeah Hey John

Yeah I built a And then he has to mention something That that that guy Really You know appreciates And he says I

I built A cigar box out of wood You know The first one Mahogany Yeah I don't I don't think

I don't think I don't think You're your friend i don't think this is good proud baiting i don't think your friend's going to say that you got you got to you got to it's got to be like this you know how i was really scared of building a cigar box out of wood yeah you know you've got to overcome something for someone to be proud of you that's true you can't just say you did a thing you know and you know how you were even encouraging me to face my fears well i'm in the workshop right now and i just put the final name

in the lid. And you know what it felt like? It felt like putting the final nail in the coffin of myself doubt. And he'll, and your mate says, you know what, I'm really proud of you. And then you go, oh, I got to go. I think that's really good. And technically you're, you're only lying a little bit because you actually did build the box. You did, but you did it earlier.

You did it earlier. That's how committed to getting people to be proud of you you are. Because if it's false pride... Well, you wouldn't feel proud of yourself if you lied like that. Yeah. And that's great. And you know what would be great? One time, this would be a hard one to pull off.

One time, he calls up a friend. It's always the same friend, by the one. Yeah, and he goes, you know how you found out that I had been calling you up whilst having sex? Oh, oh no. And using your pride to help me reach an orgasm. Well, I've decided that I'm never going to call you again while I'm having sex with my wife or anyone, for that matter. All right that.

And he says, thank you. That's a great advancement. I'm proud of you. He goes, oh, got to go. My dad, Paul. Pull back and reveal he's jacking off. Oh, he's doing it again. I never want to see that coming.

He's not having sex with anyone, you see? Oh. Because in his mind, he thinks it at death different. It's not having sex with someone. It's just masturbating. Wow, this guy has a real problem with moral equivalence. Yeah, but, you know, sometimes you willfully do it just so that you can reach a climax, don't we, Andy?

that could be your new man i don't know what you're talking about that could be your new man nothing else to you any fresh and refroof my fresh and beautiful of life um that's the great thing about mentos is that

it is literally like a bit of sugar that is chewy on the inside with a hard sort of candy coating on the outside and the ad makes it seem like it's going to fix some of the biggest problems you're having right now. Yeah. You know?

Is that what you guys do in this ad world, Andy? We basically lie to give you the impression that our any, any, like, I mean, that's what we want to do with any product. We'll, we'll say this will solve every single problem that you have. Without saying it, though. It's like that internet thing, like tell me you're going to solve all, every problem I've ever had without telling me. without telling me you're going to solve every problem I've ever had. Yeah, and then the way that we do that is with a little song and a little white minty mint. Yeah.

I can see one of my children is standing out on the other side of the glass door. Yeah. Just make out his shape. He's staring at me. On the other side of the frosted glass. Oh, he's bringing his face closer. Oh, now he's running away. Okay.

Let's see what happens. I wonder it's probably going to go jump through that glass coffee table. So that you can't do your special move anymore. Oh, no. Alistair, what do you think of this idea? You know how, you know Mr. Freeze. Yeah, yeah. That Arnold Schwarzenegger played.

Played to perfection, might I add. Absolutely. Iconic. What do you think of, what are you think of this is Mrs. Freeze, right? Yeah. She's a, she's a super villain. But she just thinks it's really cold.

Wait. She, you know how women have a different threshold or what they consider to be freezing cold? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And, and... That's good. So, whatever, you know, It's still about 23 degrees.

Yeah, exactly. She has a, she has a, she has a, she has a sort of a gun that fires a stream of, I don't know what it is, negative energy. Yeah. That's capable of making things, you know, 21 degrees Celsius. And she laughs like a maniac. She, she, she walks around clinking and chinking as though she's covered in, uh, in icicle. Yeah.

Even though... Oh, no, I'm comfortable. No, you're frozen. You're so cold. No, this is really good for me. I might actually take my sweater off. Yeah, it's a perfect temperature. Freezing.

Oh, let me get that. Let me try shooting it on herself. She's not Mrs. Freeze. She's Mrs. Freezing. that's good I'm freezing I'm freezing I'm freezing

that's really good I mean maybe she will put her feet on you as one of her main moves and when she does that they are pretty cold like

it is it is it is very unpleasant They're really cold. Yeah. But then when she, when she, she, like, her move is to then, you know, press up against you and get you really cold. Eventually, she actually becomes really uncomfortably hot. And you find it really hard to sleep. Yeah.

Yes. That's her special moves. Andy, that's a really good character for our, thanks. especially for our, you know, our superhero universe that we're going to be building. Extended universe. Yeah. That'll include the guy, what's his name, Boomer Man, who finds kids who've fallen off playground things, one of these modern playgrounds, and then goes and breaks their arm for them because it's so it's good for them.

so that they can have a good childhood. Is that something we came up with on a previous episode? I think forces some hose water into its mouth. What? So that it can turn out fine, like them. Forces some hose water. Yeah, because, you know, boomers, we drank from the hose and we turned out all right. We used to drink from the hose.

We used to drink from the hose. Is that... Does anyone say that you can't drink from the hose these days? I mean, I think probably you could probably argue that there's, it's not necessarily the best. I don't know. Maybe the pipe. My big concern with drinking from the hose is that ants will be in there, you know, that ants will have all crawled down into the hose.

Yeah. And that when I turn on the hose, they'll all run into my mouth. Yeah. I mean, that'll be an issue for maybe the first five seconds, I reckon. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So for the first five seconds, I'm drinking. ants, yes. Yes, I'm drinking ants, yes.

But that's why I've turned out to be such a good person. I mean, look at me. Yeah, I mean, do you think we'll do that with the generation below us? We'll be like, oh man, when I was growing up, we used to... We drank seven cups of water a day from a drink bottle. Yeah, kids these days... We carried around. Kids these days, they don't use mini-disc players.

We used them and we turned out fine. I mean, I guarantee people are already doing this. It feels like Gen X's. Like, just the fact now that watching TV, like sitting down and actually watching TV, feels like the most wholesome thing you can do. Yeah. You know, it's aspirational,

the idea of watching a whole episode of a TV show feels the equivalent of reading a fucking novel, of reading a great work of literature. Yeah. And I can't do it. I can't do it. And I keep getting books too. I keep buying books or taking books for free.

When I was with you in October and we were in that bookstore looking for cards or something, maybe you were also looking for a book or something like that. And it was like free book day or it was like the day after free book day and they had some free books. I took a book that I knew. that I knew I wasn't going to read. And then I transported it across the world. And it is sitting still in plain view on my bedside table. I know I will not read that book.

What's the book? It's like one of those, you know what it was? It was like, it was like, you know, it's like that guy, he's got a very ta-cusi, Takusi. Oh, Ta-Nakizi coach? Yeah. maybe yeah, Ty, Nakisi Coates. Let's try that. Oh, it's okay, wait, Ta Nahisi Coats. Let's see. Yeah, there you go. Ta Nahisi Coats. Yeah, it's his book on something. I can't see it here, but, you know, maybe the message. I think it's the message.

Yeah. Yeah. And you're not going to get, you got the message. I mean, just not going to read the message. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I've got the message. What about a sketch about a guy who reads a book? He reads a book? He reads a book. Okay. And guess what? His friends are really proud of him.

And then he ejaculates? What about this is a story about a guy who ejaculates into a book? But he doesn't like throwing things away. Yeah What about a guy who runs a service And he will clean that book for you I Run a service

For people who've Ejaculated into books But don't like throwing things away Yeah And I have special technology And the technology ends up being Because it's like the two pages Get Stuck Together

And that he just he gets up the e-book and then he reads you those two pages. And it was like, I'll write it out for you. And then he writes it out. And then he gives it to you. And he sort of sticks it in the back of the book. He slices those pages out of the book, right? He renumbers all the other pages.

And then he rewrites the blurb on the back of the book to mention the fact that it has time jumps in it. Oh, that's good. And, you know, that's, that's smart, that guy. Yeah. You're like, this was a book about the evolution of the fish. No, no, of course that would have time jumps. This was a book about how to repair a microwave.

Why would that have time jumps? It's non-linear. Oh, imagine that. Imagine writing a non-linear service manual. Oh, have you heard about this book that won the, Pulitzer. It's like maybe the first horror book to win the Pulitzer. But it actually sounds really cool.

It's, um, 2026, Angel Down. Not heard of it. And it's apparently based on like the last battle. Oh, firstly, oh yeah,

firstly, there's only one sentence. The whole book is one sentence. Incredible. I mean, this person, they know how to win an award. Yeah. You know, you've got to do something stupid. But it's approachable.

It's like, it's one sentence, but it's approachable. It's set in like that last intense, horrible battle of World War II, I think. Or maybe World War I can't remember. I think, anyway. And one of the bloodiest kind of battles. and somebody accidentally shoots down a real angel. Oh.

And it's... And it's... Look, this is all I really know. But it's like, I think it's... Apparently, it's got good... Knowledge of what it would feel. It's from the point of view of just a regular fighter. And I find it...

For some reason, I heard one person describe it. I was like, that's one of the books I want to put on my bedside table. I never read. Yeah. Yeah. What is the, what is the thing that we could do? Yeah. Like, do you think that you could, you could start a clinic, right?

For people who've got lots of books that they haven't read and are never going to get around to reading. Yeah. And it's sort of almost like rehab, readhab, if you will. Readhab. And they take you in and they actually strap you to a guernsey. And they put needles into your eyeballs, right? not propping your eyelids open with matchsticks or whatever. No.

Literal needles into your eyeballs that yank your eyeballs back and forth. Control where your pupils are pointing. Okay. Right? Yeah. And force you to read word by word all these books that you have that you want to read. That's good. And you...

So that you can empty your house of them. You're in agony. This is the most painful thing you can experience. But it's still not a... as painful as the guilt of having all those books there and not as painful as having to actually just sit down and read the fucking things you know like yeah yeah yeah force yourself to do it absolutely yeah and i think i like that it's like you you basically you're driven there by your partner with the trunk the car just filled with all the books that you own that you haven't read yes yes

and then they drop you off and you literally just have to work they they sort of look at the number of books, they do some calculations, they say you're going to be here for two months. Yeah, three and a half months like that and you say goodbye to your beloved and then they strap you in, they feed you stuff. They've just got machines. Yeah. You know, like probably just bring over stuff. But I like that like at the end of this three and half months, I mean, you are a wreck. You're emaciated. You are haggard. Yeah. You know, there's like you've got those hollow cheeks

you know and they they almost dump you back with contempt they dump you in the front yard of your house you know yeah and it's they say it's done

and your wife runs over to you with a blanket and sort of you know huddles you inside yeah and you look at her and you smile and you say I read them I read the more. And then they incinerate the books.

They... And they cut off your hands so you can't buy any more. They give you a special credit card that doesn't allow you to buy books. The one thing it can't buy is any paper products or e-books. It's a movie called Must Read and it's a horror film. Oh, yeah. That's good as it's set during World War I? it is during the final battle

the guy accidentally reads an angel I'm hearing more voices of children as the rest of my tribe awaken greet the dawn so you're telling me this is this is starting to be like we have to get into three words from a listener territory

I think it is I think it is we are absolutely there's another figure there on the other side of the glass Andy today I'm going he's pressing a book he's pressing a walk up against it. Oh my gosh. What's the book say?

Oh my God. It says, it's angel down. How has he done this? That's not for his age. Okay, Andy. The door is opening. Oh, my God. Who is it?

Hello, Wally. I'm just doing a podcast, Wally. Can you go, maybe Remy can pour you a bowl of Cheerios? Mommy's at the gym. Oh, he's closing the door. Yeah, great. I got away with it. Can you imagine if this works.

Andy. I would imagine it. You guys eat Cheerios? Is that no good? No, I mean, it's fine. We also do. But I, you know what I'm finding? Rice Bubbles, right?

Rice Krispies is there no good. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're not substantial enough. There's not enough in there for the kids to not have meltdowns within that same hour. Yeah, exactly the same with Cheerios, I'm sure. Yeah. Yeah, we get the ones that are slightly browner. color and the other Cheerias and that makes you feel like they're probably healthier.

Oh, I must, yeah. I mean, I think that the actual, the good ones are actually browner. Yeah. Yeah, right. I don't know, but maybe, maybe I'm just incorrect. Anyway, Andy, we, you know, we have listeners. Some of them give us three bucks on Patreon. And, which it must be getting better with the US dollar getting so much weaker, you know.

Better for them. Better for them. Yeah, I mean, it's a great time. It's a great time to jump on the Patreon. Yeah, because the Canadian Australian dollar has become really close to almost on par now. Used to be 10%. Really?

Yeah. Anyway, one of those listeners has sent in very recently some words, but because I haven't seen this name on our list for a long while, I'm going to go straight in for Keith Barnes. Keith Barnes, Keith Barnes. Keith Barnes. I mean, I'm sure we, I'm sure. we've said this before, but that's an Australian name.

That's a fucking Aussie name. That's a name you can repair your tractor with. It sounds like a farm where, you know, like a, the place in a farm where you, where you, you store all your Aussies. Yeah. Your Aussie men. Anyway, and Keith Barnes says, hello again. That's not my name, but okay.

I have three more words from a listener. The listener being my daughter, who was listening to me, listened to the podcast. The words are, and then there's a comma, and then the three words are listed. Would you like to try to guess what the first one is? I would, almost more than anything. But the one thing I would like to say is that a good name to name your child, as a little prank, would be goodbye. I think calling your child goodbye.

Yeah. You know, and then it's like, hello, goodbye. You know, that kind of thing. Goodbye. Goodbye. That's when you're calling them? Yeah. Goodbye when you're really angrily.

Yeah. Yeah. And they're actually going away, which makes you shout it louder, which makes them go away more. I guess the kid doesn't know it's their name. I don't know why they're leaving. That's a real.

That's an even better prank, not telling your kid their name? Yeah. Tell them their name is like Tom, but tell everybody else their name is goodbye. Okay. Right, right. Good prank. I don't know if that's giving a kid a name. But, you know what, Andy?

I'm 100% important. I mean, it is. No, no. It is. Not. It is. Oh, maybe. Okay, first word is baron.

Barron? Barron. B-A-R-E-N. Oh, no. it's last I feel like I was close last man

the second word man there's some of the sounds of man in this one it's sandwich last sandwich hmm store what did you say door

Store? St-O-R-E? Oh, close. It kind of rhymes with your accent. It's war. Last sandwich war. Yeah. Wow. I mean, they do talk about sending men into the meat grinder. That's true. But there it's to... World War I.

There it's to sort of get from the mouth of it some mince meat to make burgers. sending the men into the meat slicer and then sending the men into a tub of mayonnaise yeah I mean imagine if there was a place where all the ingredients for sandwiches were there was just one place and we fought for them and we had to like and there was just always a front

on all like you know there was like multiple countries trying to get it almost like you know like the way that animals at the, you know, at the watering hole on the savannah all hang around and sort of risk, you know, encounter. Buy for dominance. Yeah. Yes. Here, there's, you know, there's just a section where there's bread, you know, a bread fountain. The ham.

Sandwich mine. Yeah, some kind of ham, geyser. Everything squirting up into the air. your mind. There's a cheese. There's a cheese. There's cheese oozing out of the hot spring.

Like a sap from a a cheese tree. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There is a there is a relish oasis. Yes. I mean, in my mind, the idea, like, you know, the Iran war.

but let's replace the word oil with sandwich ingredients. Okay, mustard. With mustard. French mustard. I mean, this is what history used to be like. Yeah. This is, we did fight fucking wars over spices and, um, that kind of thing. Yeah.

Other examples. You know, tea. Tea. Tea, yeah. That was a huge deal. And so, so you're saying like, so for it to be the last sandwich war, it's like, what is it? What does that mean? It means that it's something about this war means that after it's done, sandwich distribution will be equal.

Like everybody will have access to sandwiches. I think taking it literally. taking the sentence literally, it implies that it's the last sandwich. You know, we are fighting over the last sandwich, but then we're not adding anything to this idea. Sure. But then if you also take...

But if you take the sentence also literally, it could be the last war over sandwiches. Yeah, yes, that's true. I think that... I couldn't let you get away with that, Andy. I couldn't let you get a why with that No, you're right But I feel like you're

And I'm, this isn't a criticism of you Alistair Andy and this isn't a criticism of you Taking it Okay great Yeah This was just Me seeing an opening

Where I could correct you Oh boy And did you plug that opening Oh my With a correction Yeah that opening is full Of dirty rags now Mm-hmm

And they are getting Drenched and some Of that stuff that I'm blocking is starting to ooze out. It's not a good... Oh, yeah. It wasn't a good solution. It's not a good bung.

How do you feel about the word bung? Bung B-U-G-N? Yeah. How is that linked to bung eye? Ah, I don't know. Is it like, because their eyes are a bit closed, and so it's like... Maybe. Or maybe it's...

But bung in the bung-eye sense just feels like it means just like not very good working badly. A bit broken, yeah, okay. Yeah, a bit broken. Yeah. But bung is also the name of something that blocks a hole? Yeah, yeah. In, you know, like in a ship or in a container. Yeah, big cork, kind of like, big cork?

Yeah, big cork. Big, uh, international shipping cork. You know what? You know, it's been a while since we've talked about eating wood, but cork would make, out of all the woods, we'd probably make the best wood, like, bread alternative if you were making a sandwich with wood. Yes, yes.

It feels like a tree was trying to be bread when it came up with court. That's right. It really, it really, really wanted to be bread. Yeah, it's like you gave plants. You told plants about bread. And I was like, I'll make that. Yeah, he described it to them.

Yeah. And a really overconfident tree was like, I'll just grow some. Yeah. on the outside. That sounds easy, as what that tree said. You've seen cork trees? They're all knobbly-robley. They're all like, I don't know how you get enough of that stuff to actually make it into it. It's all crankled and rankled.

Yeah. I've never seen it. I mean, do they then, maybe they would chip it up and repress it together. Yeah, maybe they do. They must. They must. Maybe. Because otherwise, yeah. And, man, I mean, like, if, I don't know how quickly that stuff grows on those trees, but that can't be an efficient way to... I think they're running out. I think that's why they have to go to the rubber stops and stuff and the twist tops.

Yeah. Of course. You can get cork flooring. Yeah. And that'd use a lot. Yeah, yeah. I mean, that's why it's, you know, they're not running out because they're not using very much. They're going to have to start putting bottle caps, screw on bottle caps on floor.

That's right, just ground up bottle caps. Little sharp edges and stuff like that. Yeah. Yeah, he stomp over. Twist top. Bottle clap forward? Hey? Twist top flooring.

Twist top flooring. Last sandwich war. Yeah, I mean, I do like that it's the, it is the last one because after this, maybe they, maybe they create. a bomb, right, that stops people being hungry. I guess like an EZempic bomb. And, you know, like the nuclear bomb, it made war. The idea of it was that it made war so devastating as to be unthinkable.

Yeah. Still thinking about a lot, though, it seems. But the, the here, this bomb. Yeah. stops people being hungry. I don't know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay.

And so then... Oh, this would be... The lunch to end. This would be a great... This would be a great sequel to our Mementos... Movie where everybody forgets everything and then the next one, nobody's got any hunger.

What would happen? What would happen? Imagine if they'd forgotten and didn't have any hunger, because then they wouldn't know that there's something wrong. And then eventually they'd... just waste away. Yeah. Well, I imagine, I mean, imagine if you did make a bomb that did stop people being Hungary,

what would happen? Firstly, they'd get very skinny. They'd look gorgeous for a while there. But then I guess they'd just waste away. It's a good, it might actually be a really good technology. And a Zempic bomb. Yeah, the Bombsenpic. We drop it on.

Yeah. That's a great idea, Andy. Look, it's not our absolute funniest idea, but I am going to say that with children, you know, who may or may not have mouthful of Cheerios, looming. Looming, pressing books up against glass. We might just need to read through the sketch ideas, Andy.

How do you feel about that? It's how I have dream of ending every podcast, Alistair, with a sense of resignation. Pete Barnes, look, I hopefully, you know twist top flooring and a bomb that makes you not hungry there's something in there yeah thank you all right here's our sketch ideas for this episode

we got Mementos no one remembers anything movie that James Cameron's making a sequel that's sponsored by Mentos then we got motor boating for the boys or motorbutting because motorboating really is more about the boys Brota boating

It's a classic system where where guys think that they'll get women involved into their interests but they'll just involve the women's boobs I don't think it's I don't think it's a good thing We got driver's bed Which is now possible

Because of the invention of angled mirrors And you don't really need to even face forward Then we got the loophole For getting out of a speeding ticket By just sitting backwards and saying you were going actually negative 130. We got guy who has to feel like someone is proud of him in order to come. We got Mrs. Freeze or Mrs. Freezing, and she just feels like what she's shooting out of a ray gun is cold,

but it's actually about 23 degrees. We got Guy who has a service for guys who've come inside of a book and stuck the pages together, but they don't want to throw things away. Oh, we've got, um, we've got, uh, read hab to, which forces you to read all the books that you have. We've got a twist top flooring to replace cork flooring and we've got the bomb that makes you not hungry. So good. Andrew, thank you so much for this episode. Thank you for the opportunity to have this episode with you.

And thank you to the listeners for listening. Thank you to all. And thank you to all. For the Patreon supporters for Patreon supporting. And all the people who review us on iTunes, thank you for doing that as well. And who review us on Spotify and who have reviewed us anywhere. Thank you. Anyway.

You know, who've made us who we are today. Whomst we am on this day? Internally grateful. Should we go into the song? I would also I would also have you I'm just having just returned from Toronto

I would like to shout out Andrew the listener in Toronto who invited me over to the lovely Greek restaurant that he works at and got me a meal It was very nice. It was very nice meeting.

Would you like to say the name of the restaurant? Yeah, sure. Listeners can go there and eat food. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's called Volos at 133 Richmond Avenue. And it was very good. I had the Musaka and you know what? I don't think that it had too much eggplant.

I thought it had the perfect amount of eggplant. No one of that's genuine. It was about that was something that we discussed. I thought it had a very good amount of eggplant. I like... I don't care what everybody's saying. I'm a big eggplant. I thought it had a good amount of eggplant.

I genuinely loved it a lot. And we discussed this thing, how there's like a sauce in the Musaka, but then they add this little drizzle of other sauce that looks like it would be the sauce that's in there, but it's a slightly different taste. I would love to eat more Greek food. Andy, now's the time to fly to Canada. Yes.

home of Greek food. It is currently booming. Leave Melbourne. Yes. The highest population, the highest population of Greeks outside of Athens, come to Godin, Canada. I'll fly back to Toronto. Yes.

We can both stay at the same university I stayed at in a residence there. Yes. Can't wait. Andy, do you want to shout out of anything? My children are in the room. Now they have breached the perimeter. Oh, my gosh. I would just like to say we love you.

We love you. Bye, everybody. Bye, bye.