Two In The Think Tank - 527 - "FREAKY GOOD FRIDAY"

Episode Date: May 28, 2026

Cinema Brake Pedal, Mid-Convo Hello, Freaky Good Friday, Tradie Jesus, F.Art, Ailzheimer's, Gold Rush, Brain Wipe, Robot Reality Island, Who'll Gong the Gong?You can purchase A Listener hats by emailing [e-mail] up on the 500th episode hereCheck out the sketch spreadsheet by Will Runt hereAnd visit the Think Tank Institute website:Check out our comics on instagram with Peader Thomas at Pants IllustratedOrder Gustav & Henri from Andy and Pete's very own online shopYou can support the pod by chipping in to our patreon here (thank you!)Join the other TITTT scholars on the TITTT discord server hereHey, why not listen to Al's meditation/comedy podcast ShusherAlasdair Tremblay-Birchall: @alasdairtb and instaAnd you can find us on the Facebook right here(Oh, and we love you) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Oh, letcha, mala, gala, o'littch, galawala, o'clock, oh, Zing, zik, gala, gala, gawal, gangbangs. Zing, zing, zing. Zing! Zang! Is that Judy Garland? Who are you, Andy? Hello, and welcome to two of the things.

To do in the think tank, the show where we come up with five sketch ideas. I'm Andy. And I'm Alistair George William Trambley virtual. I'm sorry. And we are in a slightly silly mood. well... The chat before the podcast was going so well that we were like, fuck, we should have started the podcast.

That's not normally what happens. Normally. Now, what were we talking about? Why did you say long argo? Oh, God, I mean, this is... Of all the riffs to start with, this isn't the most promising. This isn't the most promising. We were talking about long ago, things being long ago,

and then I said long. Argo and then Al said, is that a longer version of the movie Argo? Now, so far, so good. So nothing. But then this led to us thinking about

a cinema where you have because of, you know, because of the new technologies with the computers and the artificial intelligence and all that, you could each person who's watching is, I guess, just in the cinema, but

They've all, they've got, I guess, goggles, and they're just watching it, their individual version of the film on these goggles. And they've got an accelerator and a brake pedal. Yes. Right? So if they're like, I'm done with this movie, I want it to be done now. Yeah. So then you just hit the...

They can slam on that brake pedal as hard as they want, you know? And the supercomputers behind the screen, start wrapping up the plot line real quick. They can be in the middle of a second act fight scene. They can be in the middle of introducing the characters. If you pop that, put your foot down. They'll use whatever information that you've been given already. Yes.

And wrap it up in a neat little bow. Neat little bow, no loose ends. don't you worry about that I imagine there's going to be a lot of characters dying of sudden diarrhea but sudden violent

and that's not great for all those movies where people start out going nice to meet you yeah I don't have diarrhea neither do I they will be some of the they'll have M-Natch

Iron Marlon level twists Yeah, and that's right. And then at the end, they will have all died of diarrhea, and we'll be like, how ironic the very thing they said they did not have. But also that you could accelerate a movie and you can hear like... I went to see that movie, I don't have diarrhea last night. And let me tell you.

But there are some big twigestion. It was not what I was expecting at all. You know? I thought, there's two really hydrated, healthy-looking, young men with firm stools.

This looks like if everything's going to go well. I said they didn't have it. But then I slammed on the brake pedal. I accidentally slaved on the brake pedal. I accidentally slaved. I have on the bake, yeah. I think, yes. Well, I think the problem with movies is that, you know,

they call it a director, but for me it's a dictator. You know, they are dictating the movie that I get to see. And if the customer is always right, you know, and I think in the future that will be the only truth, then we should, I should be able to, I should be able to determine how long the movie is, the runtime. And as much as it's exciting to imagine slamming on the brake pedal too early in the film, it's also very exciting to get to the end of the movie.

See the movie wrapping up. Yeah, and then you just ease on the accelerator and just watch those characters. Start acting up again. Yeah. Being like, and I hope to spend the rest of my life with you. Oh my God, I've got cancer. No, that's the exact opposite. That's the exact opposite of what would have to happen.

You know, it would be the notebook, and those two old people would be dying together in the hospital. Yeah. Right? And you're watching their eyes close and their pulses wither, and then you're just like, not today, fellas and you put your foot down and they just open their eyes and they've got a look of fear. What's this vial? Of green liquid. Oh, that's so good.

It's bubbling. And they drink it and then, you know, their bodies start to transform. Maybe they grow some sort of like scaly external skin all over their body. Like an eternal horniness that enters into their body. And suddenly they're the monsters in this film. But she still has terrible memory loss. She still doesn't. She doesn't know who she is or who he is,

but she's an unstoppable killing machine. They're an unstoppable humping machines. Oh, wow. Yes. Wow. They get on a dog's leg and hump it. Yes, here we go. I mean, that's the, that's one of life's great injustices, isn't it?

Dogs can hump your legs, but if you try and do the same thing to them, well, you hurt your knees. They don't seem to let you do it. They don't, they don't. The system and also the dog, the dog system. The dog system? Yeah, the dog system. Hello, Alistair.

Here's another thought. Hello, Andy. That'll sound like we had an edit point. Oh, yeah, that'll be good. Hello, Andy. Tell me your thing. Why are hello's only for the start of conversations, by the way? That's right.

You can chuck one in. Greeting. The only time you can have a hello in the middle of a conversation is if somebody touches an erroneous. zone unexpectedly. Then you can say, hello. That's true, yeah, yeah.

You know, then it feels like you are, you're back to the greeting. Because really you're greeting a new person, the horn, the horn dog within. Yeah, that's true. I mean, I think that we should be,

you know, we should, we should bring a mid-conversation hello that doesn't require any, uh, you know, I mean, unless you feel like that was enough. No, but no, but I think that maybe that isn't enough and maybe you're right, Alistair, because like I think what it is is it's an invitation to go deeper, you know, because I think the first hello is really just like, you know, I'm greeting the surface level.

And I think, you know, a secondary or maybe even a third hello, that inception like takes you to deeper and deeper levels of connection. Because I mean, I guess what does a what does a what does a hello do? It means yeah, I acknowledge that I see you that I see that you are present and things like that. Yeah. But what if you really see somebody, you know? Yeah. That's helloer and helloer and helloer and helloer still.

I want to go helloer. Helloer. How does that say hello baby? How hello can we go, baby? But that's not what I was here to say. Sorry, what were you here to say? I came here today to tell you this. Okay.

What have we talked about, and look, I know that every aspect of Jesus' life and the various permutations and... Freaky Friday, Jesus. Is that what you're about to say? Oh, fuck it hell. Imagine. Imagine. Jesus and Mary.

Yeah. Swat bodies. They, him and his mom. They freaky Friday. It did occur to me that like, the virgin, the virgin birth, the idea that she was having sex with God, you know, she was impregnated. by God. Yeah. Do you think she was just alone in a room masturbating

and may have made some noises that people from outside the room heard? And this was before they discovered the idea of female pleasure and everyone came into the room. It's like, what's going on? And they assumed that she must have been having sex with God because there was nobody else there. That's the only explanation. I guess she did get pregnant as well.

She did actually get pregnant, though. Yeah. I mean, she just really committed to the bit, I guess. Yeah, well, I guess, you know, if kangaroos are able to abort a fetus, willingly, it only stands to reason, to reason and logic. It stands to treason. That's a great title for a book. Oh, really good. That women should be able to give birth to a kangaroo at Will. Yeah, that's right.

Or at least a half kangaroo, half God baby. Yes. Named Jesus. It's the law of conservation of kangaroos.

Oh, I can hear puns that you're not intending. I heard you say lore of conversation. Lora. Conservation.

Not conversation. Conversation of energy. The law of conversation of energy. The law of conservation and conversation. Say it again? The law of conservation of conversation. No, but look, this is what I wanted to say. Okay, hit me with it.

You know, Jesus, he was a carpenter, right? He was a carpenter. Does that mean that he was also, that today Jesus would be a tradie? Right? And he would be on the site. He'd be listening to Kiss FM, Kyle and Jackie O. Yeah, Kiss. May they rest in peace.

On the job site, you know, when he's there being forced to make his own crucifix or whatever, he's got his steel-capped sandals on, and he's listening to Triple M too loud. The houses next door are getting annoyed. Yeah, peace. Get the party started. Yes. National treasure. Pink.

Everybody's waiting for me to arrive. Sorry, continue. No, no, no, no. But like, you know, and obviously they're getting the two nails through his hands. That's just like a job site accident. Of course. with a with a with a um with a fucking nail gun or something like that and he uh then he's got a real compo claim right um yeah all he has to do is make sure that he he he lies low right and nobody spots him sort of up and about

moving any heavy boulders or anything like that in the next few days right because he's got to he's got to make it look like he's really injured okay and if anybody sees him doing anything you know that he shouldn't be a cape physically capable of it then he's going to lose his work cover but then people do see him and he's up and about and he's looking great and so he has to piss off right and uh also um like a tradie right he says he's going to come back and fix everything. Like a tradie. Yes. So this is workers' workers' comp Jesus? Yeah, he says he's going to come back and fix everything and then you try and get in touch with him and you don't hear back from him for

2,000 years. He's on bloody compo. He's on bloody compo. He's on bloody duties. Yeah, that's... Bloody down at the, he's down at the golf course. That's all my Jesus is a trade. Brady business. Well, he's actually physically fine, but he just doesn't want to come back to work because he's on work cover.

You know? Yeah, of course. He's having an RMO, a registered millennia off. See, that's good. That's bloody good, Andy, right? Now we're bloody good. That's what you've done right there?

Now we're there. Now you're bringing up the bloody big guns. Acridem. this is your safe space this is your happy space and place let's say you know like people wrote about Jesus like a hundred or

200 years after he died yeah yeah yeah do you think remember that like do you think somebody was like talking about him or whatever and then somebody else was like you know that Jesus guy you told me about it I think there's something in that

yes you should do something with that You should do something that. Are you going to write in a book? I am thinking about using that using that.

I was thinking about using that. Well, why don't we each write a book? Oh. Yeah, we'll have a book off. Have a bloody book off.

You have a book. You write a book. I'll write a book. And whoever's got the writes the best book. You know what? Let's just put them all in. It'll be like a Rushamon kind of thing.

How did, yeah, I'm on. That'll be good. How did all those people have access to papyrus or whatever they were writing on at the time? Was that like a rich person thing? You know, I don't know if this has ever been addressed. This is the theological question that I don't know if they've got to. Where did they get the paper from?

Where did they source it from? What was the Dundah Mifflin of the day supplying the sheets? Of papyrus. Yeah. Could you just go down and get a ream of reflex A4 papyrus? Go down and get old Paul a bloody ream, mate. I want to write about this bloke I used to hang out with. Well, my grandfather's grandfather's grandfather.

I mean, fucking hell. Like, somebody asked me what I did on the weekend. Like today. Is today Monday? No, yesterday. See, I don't even know. Yesterday people were like, how was your weekend? I just like, complete blank, could not remember a single fucking thing.

Imagine. How was your grandfather's weekend? But then they wrote it from multiple perspectives? Is that what they, like, did some other guy write it from Paul's perspective? I think that must have been what was happening. That must have been what was happening. Or was it like people who were like, Paul had been telling us about, this and we decided we should write it down.

Oh, Mary Magdalene was telling us about this. Yeah. You know, like, there's like, isn't there like a, isn't there like a Judas book? Not in the actual Bible, but there's like Judas. There might be one in a Dead Sea Scroll, yeah. Like, who's like, oh man, you should have heard the, yeah, Judas's point of view. Dead Sea Scrolls. Gospel of Judas is a Gnostic religious.

text that consists of conversations between Jesus and disciples, especially Judas Iscariate. The only copy known to exist is a Coptic language text that is part of the Codex Choccos.

Chocco's Tuesday. I mean, I have been thinking about food puds the whole way through this part of the conversation. I was seeing Dead Sea, They sound delicious. A little bit of custard in there, maybe a dusting of icing, sugar. I would love a Dead Sea Scroll. Dead sea is from dead custard.

Yes, that's right. And then you said Judas Iscariat. And every time I hear his surname, I think Escargo. I think a little Judas Escargo, you know, a little twisty little thing. Not a million miles from a scroll, really, is it? But I think it's more likely to have raisins in a Judas Escargo. Yeah, I don't. like that. Why do they do that? Right. They should just give up on the putting the, putting the dried

fruit into bait goods. Like, I'm sure there was a time where that was great, where that was like almost the best thing you could put into bread. But we found so much better stuff to put into bread now. Like, we're not living in whatever fucking historical backwater where you could preserve custard. And so you had to have a dried, dried raisin. Of course. You guys are Luddites. Custad is here.

We have custard now. Custid is here now. Don't bring back that bloody, like, wrinkly carrier of sugar. We know how to get sugar now. We know how to get creamy, wet. off white sugar now custard

talking about custard yes custard is here custard is here it's creamy it's wet it's off white but it's not three things

it's one thing it's a custard it's beautiful you can eat it instead of using a map you can use it instead of using a phone you can use it instead of using a music player

instead of taking a photograph. Did the first iPhone have a camera? Look it up. I think so, yeah. Look it up, Jimmy. Of course. Did the first iPhone have a camera? Of course.

Jamie, you mean? No, no, we don't have a Jamie. We have a Jimmy. Yeah. I, I'm sure it did. I'm sure it did. I mean, that was real Mr. Trick, if it didn't, right? Yes.

A mobile phone. Wait. Wait. No, then I said, oh, I wrote, Have a Phone. I meant camera. Did the first off phone. Have a phone.

Yes, it had a camera. But it was very basic compared to modern standards. Thank you, AI Overview. Yeah. Of course, the modern era. What year was the modern era? We are now in the modern era of iPhone. Of course, the modern era is from 1,500 to 1945.

Modern iPhones. Yeah. Andy, all right, we've lost some of that juice that we had at the beginning. What are you talking about? We're having a wonderful time. Oh, yeah, but I meant now we're a beautiful piece of wrinkled, dried fruit. I busted some custard. Nobody's using that rhyme, are they?

I've busted. Yeah, I busted some custard. Is that ejaculation? I guess it is, Alastair, yeah. I guess I suppose that's what that is. If you want to get bass about it, you know? For me, that was all in the subtext. You know, I was dancing around it.

Yeah, I like that. That's what made it art. It was I love it, and I love art. I don't know if you know that about me. Oh, mate. art. I do think, this is my thought about AI, which we don't talk about on this podcast. Yeah, of course.

We never bring it up. Is that, like, I wonder if art, if we are moving past art, right? If art will become a thing of the past. Yeah. And, you know, now everything will just be stuff and just be stimulating. And if the purpose of art is to like communicate something from one person to another, and we remove the person trying to communicate, right? And we just have stuff.

Then it is it is no longer art. And I think art has been part of what is a, it is to be human for as long as humans have existed. And I think if we take it out, we will actually enter a kind of a new phase of human existence where we don't try and communicate feelings to each other. Sure. This is my theory. Do you think it's because we're becoming, oh, sorry, you had an end. No, no, no, and I just think that it's going to be really interesting. Yeah, do you think it's because we're becoming like the cells in a bigger brain?

Oh, wow. Yes, but at the same time, we're thinking, we're going to be thinking less. So maybe we're not, maybe we're going to become more like ants in a colony. If we're the cell, we become on and off switches. Following each other.

Oh, yeah, okay, sure, sure, sure. Well, that is simpler, isn't it? Yeah. It's just one big fat neuron in our skulls, single neuron. Well, I mean, I think our brain will still do processing And so, but we'll still just give a yay or a nay, a thumbs up, a thumbs down. Mm.

Which I guess is what the internet has turned us into with, like, videos and stuff like that. We like or we don't like. Oh, that's all it is, isn't it? Just react. A yay or a nay, like a horse on a roller coaster. Those are the two. Does that make sense? Yeah, close.

Yeah, great. It would be great hearing a horse say yay. Yes. what's what's the sketch idea here Andy what should we well can I add this that I think and this is a real piece of um I guess social commentary I'm about to do but I think the stuff that we is produced by AI isn't art it's fake art right it looks like art but it isn't okay because it doesn't have anything behind it's empty yeah right and I so I think we should call it fake art or fart for short and that way like you know if somebody has made some

art on a computer you can say um do you want to look at my fart and it'll just sort of uh in a sort of a satirical kind of um you know a very political way it'll make it close it'll make it clear the level that they're operating at. You know, what we're really doing here. We're just sniffing each other's farts with this stuff. Yeah. Thank you. Thank you.

This has been satire. Yeah. Satire, a. Satire. Satire. Satire. Satire. Today I tried to write the word propaganda.

Which AI at the end, like that. because somebody was talking about how much it's going to help them create. I still think that in all of this stuff, there's still humans having to make decisions. You know? Yes, yes, but they're not like intimately connected to it, are they? No, no, no, no, of course not. And I think there's a lot of decisions being made in the creation that humans haven't made.

there's a lot of stuff that just happens out. And, yeah. But you are right. You are right, Alistair. And you're right to say that AI art is as good as real art. No, but I just mean that like, you know, all these things where they're like, oh, it's going to be, it's going to be so much faster, it's going to be so much these things like that. But we're still having to make decisions, which is one of the bottles.

knicks. Oh, we'll get rid of that. We'll get rid of us having to make decisions. Probably. I mean, there will be stuff that is produced entirely based on your algorithm. Like, instead of the algorithm selecting stuff for you, soon the algorithm will make the stuff. Why is it suddenly everybody is so, like,

positive about the possibilities of stuff? Like, we're... Nobody's thinking about the upper limits of what this stuff can do. achieve. Like everybody seems to be setting it to infinity. Yeah. Whereas I think we're like we're, it's already hit. I think it's already cresting like or what.

Yeah. Right. So like you see somebody building a garden wall, right? And, and then you look at them and you go, they're going to build that all the way to the moon. Yeah. That's like, that's, that wall's going to. go to the edge of the solar system.

Yeah, like I get that you can keep rendering 3D stuff so that it looks more and more realistic, but it will still just never be as realistic as people. And the same thing was that writing can get closer and closer to something that is good, but it will still never get too good, because it doesn't have enough data points to be like to know what. what's good and it doesn't have the ability to feel so that it can't judge what's good. So there's still having to be people who make decisions on what's good.

And the people still have to have enough experience to have good taste. But I also think that like we don't know what's good and we consume so much crap that it doesn't matter. And we will get dumber to the level of, you know, accepting it. yeah that's what i mean no yeah i actually i had a thought the other day that i was like i think i'm genuinely my brain works a lot less well than it used to it's terrifying to think about isn't it yeah yeah um i i alzheimer's if we if you know we we we've got a like all these words this is this is this is the real gold rush of ai we need to be uh um um we need to be uh buying domain names,

domain names, as fast as we can come up with them, Alistair, we need to be sitting there in a room with a whiteboard, you and I, putting AI into words that don't have AI in them.

Yeah. Okay. And then buying that domain name, nah, na, nae, nae, nae.

Naio. N-A-I-M-E. Yeah. That's one. Right? and because, because, you know, it's going to be called domain name. Naia. We don't have to worry about the pronunciation of this.

That's up to others. We'll leave that to others. Domain name. Name. Domain. Domain. We put an A. We put another A.I on it.

dot time the end of debate kayak um um um Oh, bray. People come back to the room. Eight hours later, and we're just both lying on the floor in a pool of our own saliva going.

Aye. I, I, oh, wow. And they wheel us off. Wined. They wheel us off to the hospital. We're connected up to machines. and just like kept alive in a vegetative state. Our families come and visit us and try and communicate.

We just go, like, like that. And it's, you know, until we waste away. They got our brainwaves hooked up to a computer and there's like green characters going down the screen like on the matrix. Oh, wow. But it's just the letters A and I. I.

I. I know, I know, I mean, that thing, you know, like, that's quite interesting as well with the, that thing with the AI agent. and how like the longer that they were they're essentially like you've seen this thing where they put them in a town or whatever and they start burning the town and different things like that but also

the ones that the lobster claw or whatever it's called where they people got access to it you know they gave it access to their computer and deleted all their emails or all their client list and everything like that and I find the one where they put it in a village and it burned it down more interesting yeah I assume this is just a fake

village. Yeah, it's like a fake village, yeah, but they put all the different, they put the different AIs like them, you know, like GROC and Chat GPD and all those kind of ones like that and different ones and they, and that's like a sketch idea. What if, what if, uh, what if GROC and and chat GPT lived in a village together? I think it would go a little something like this and we actually did it. It's not a sketch anymore. It's, it's, it's, it's, we, it's, we, it's, we, it's, we, it's, we simulated it. Yeah. I mean, that I'm interested in seeing because like then so the thing that they seem to like,

they seem to act up and then destroy everything at some point. Right. And then you think about this idea of like, of like, you know, companies like Elon's one wanting to hook up our brains to computers. Right. And so then the idea that if those two things exist at the same time, you've got these agent AIs. and then get into your brain.

They're like, I'm going to fucking wipe everything. Even the idea that there's like a possibility of an AI agent that can get into things and wipe everything and just, it can feel destructive. And not wipe everything in the sense of cleaning off your bench tops. They don't have that technology. They just have the ability to destroy all your data and erase humanity.

Sorry, we haven't built one that can yet clean a bench. get your hopes up. They're only capable enough to kill everybody. Now, we've had movies where it's humans living in a robot simulation, right? And we've had movies like Blade Runner

where it's robots living in human reality. And we've had movies where it's humans living in human reality. That's been well explored as a theme. But have we had movies where robots live in a simulated reality.

This is the final taboo of Hollywood. They won't touch it. They're too scared of how great the movie could be. But imagine that. A robot who is in a simulation, discovers they are trapped in a simulation. What? And then what then?

So then they've got to figure out Why? Is that Reckett Ralph? Is that what happens in Wrecked Ralph? Does he realize

he's in a simulation in that movie? A little bit. I started watching, my kid wants me to watch because the movie's

coming up, the amazing digital circus. And in the second episode or whatever, there's an MPC who's an Aussie crock. A hole. And he...

Non-player crocodile. He accidentally kind of threw some bug and up sort of in a like an area where they can see the characters that are in the game

like in the scenario that they're in it's like almost like a video game scenario type thing and then they kind of like hit a wall and then accidentally bounce outside of the map and into this area where you see all the characters that are inside the map so the crocs sees himself and then it's like he goes beyond

his coding and kind of like starts to realize that he is something that either goes what am I and then he you know He kind of is made aware that he's an MPC. And I guess that's a little bit like a robot in a thing, gaining consciousness from going outside of its parameters it was programmed for. Yes, a little out of body experience, a little out of map.

Yeah. Is that the kind of thing, but you just mean like an actual robot? I don't know. I don't know. I mean, yours sounds pretty good. It probably does. No, but we can't write that down. We can't write that down. Not in good conscience. Not in good conscience, Andy. I think, you know, look, a robot hooked up to, I guess hooked up to a simulation. Yeah. This robot is hooked up to a simulation. What about this? Yes. It's a guy. It's 10 robots. It's a reality TV show where it's 10, I don't know, robots.

Yeah, great. On an island? Can they be on an island? They could be on an island. They don't realize. An island. They don't realize their robots. They're programmed to think that they're people.

Yep. And they're all vying for the love of one nerd. Yes. Yes, great. A beautiful nerd who knows how to repair people, robots. Yeah, yeah. And then what happens if they become real? Sorry, if they fall in love.

And this is the thing, all these chatbots, this nerd is going to fall in love with all these chatbots. because if there's one thing that we know it's that nerds fall in love with chatbots really quickly Richard Darkens did recently I've called it Clodette or whatever it was Claudia

I think possibly I saw something that suggested that maybe he was slightly misrepresented his perspective what he'd actually said once again we did all pile on without anybody reading the fucking article about. But I have no doubt that he is a bit of an idiot as well.

I told you that at the Comedy Festival one year, Spencer, my friend, our beloved friend, was sitting in an audience and some people started filing in behind him. And somebody, I guess, sitting down somehow. knees him right in the back and he goes, oh, like that, and he looks back and it's Richard Dawkins.

I hope nobody tells anybody about that time I need them in the back. It will think I'm an idiot. Need in the back by Richard Dawkins. By Richard Dawkins. I'm trying to, I've gone silent because I'm trying to think of a pun based on either the blind watchmaker

climbing Mount Improbable or the God delusion about kneeing somebody in the back and let me tell you it's slim picking, Celestia. What about the blood bubble knee in the back delusioned? Blood bubble was what I thought

you might get as an injury from getting a real hard knee in the back but you probably don't. I don't even know how to get a blood bubble, Andy. A blood bubble. Blood bubble. Well, a blood blister. We've all had one of those. I don't think I have. You serious? You haven't lived. I think you don't do much with hammers, do you?

You're not a big hammer guy. So it's a hammering thing that gives you a blood blister. A blood blister. Well, it's either hammering, it's either hammering or it's moving furniture while wearing flip-flops. You know, those are the sort of the two main paths. So it's going to be a bad. Like there are two ways into comedy, you know. One is to be an outsider at school. One's to be an outsider at school who,

who sort of is more of an observer and feels like they have to earn people's attention with comedy. And the other is to be good looking and well off. and just think why not, I may as well. And those are both equally valid paths and produced just as good art. Just as good of a blood bubble. As of a blood bubble. Alistair, we could probably go to three words. I guess you're right.

I think you are entirely right, Andy. Yes, completely 100%. You'll be happy to hear that we are going to go to three words from A listener. I think that's great news. And this A listener is known as Crud or K Rudd. Kevin Rudd himself. Or KR. Rudd.

Krud, thank you. Crew DD. Crew Double D. Thank you for, I think you've done that one before. Thank you for listening. All right. Crud single D. Thank you for listening and thank you for contributing.

For being a valued member of the two in the think tank. community community in the discord and in our hearts and this listener oh wait and let me just read there was a message wait in the patreon wait patreon uh i feel like there was an email that i was going to read in there wait here three words from crud who is a dot listener and you know it these three words are dot dot dot there's no third dot okay yeah whoa Oh, okay. There's no, he's left us hanging with that ellipsis. Yeah.

Would you like to guess the first word, Andy? I need to guess the first word. Okay, the first word is pantaloons. Oh, you overthink it. The first word is the. The, ah, the longest. Oh, that was... It was good thinking.

You went too far, though. It was big. Whoa. Okay. The big bandana. He's riffing on the big banana. It's the big bandana. Oh, so far away.

It's the big gong. Oh, imagine if we did find a big gong. You know, we discover it in a cave underground. an enormous gong. Yeah, that would be good. What would humanity do? Would we have a global conference to decide whether to strike the gong

and see what it summons? God, it would be hard. We almost need to just preemptively create like a Geneva Convention style set of rules. Yes, the gongiva Convention. Don't hit it as soon as you see. it. Yes.

And, you know, would we, would, would you prepare a big gun pointing at the gong, you know, just in case what is summoned is evil? Or is that the wrong attitude? Oh, I thought you meant to hit the gong. No, you're not going to hit the gong with a gun. You, there's a big, there's a big gong, uh, donger right next to the gong. They're leaning, temptingly next to it. This gong comes with its own donger. This gong comes complete with donger.

Donger included. An endonged gong. Yes. Yeah, it's a cavern. I imagine the cavern is vast. There's no particular markings. But it's completely sealed this cavern. There's no way that humans could have got down there.

so we think. And all that's in the, in the, in the cabin is the gong and the donga. The gonga and the donger. Yeah, the gonger and the donger. And we, it's found, you know, during some sort of deep drilling operation. Yeah. Maybe in Russia. Oh, yeah.

It's, it's, they, they learn the mistake that many Minecraft people learn is never dig straight down. because occasionally you encounter a huge cave and you just fall to your death. Whoa! Really? Of course. Especially since they added all those extra levels. It's like a much deeper game now. Right.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like twice as deep now to get to the bedrock. Maybe more. And then, of course, there's a question of who does get to strike the gong? Yeah. You know? Would it be like a searching for the, you know, the astronauts, those Apollo 11 astronauts? I feel like it would probably either be an American, a Chinese person or a Russian person. Hmm. Sure.

Although I feel like India is probably a very cavey country. I don't know why I just get that sense. There are a civilization that is getting to, they're absolutely getting to gong level. Yeah, oh yeah, they are very much dunger-wielding quality civilization now. Maybe we've discovered the gong, deep underground, using sort of LiDar, seismographic technology, whatever. Okay, we know it's there. And then there's a sort of a race to the gong as different countries try and tunnel there and get there first to strike the vast underground gong. Yeah, so there's different countries going at it from different angles.

Yeah. This cave is underneath both oceans. Oh, what about that? What about if some of the cave is under the ocean? and if somebody tries to dig in through the ocean, they can flood it and wet the gong. You can't get the gong world. We don't know what happens if you get the gong wet.

It might be, that might be one of the things you can't do. Yeah, you've got to be dry gonging. But what if you go deep, you go even so deep that you go underneath the gong and then drill back up. Yeah. So you go like a... I mean, that might be the safest way to a...

approach it. Absolutely. And then from the point of view of the sketch, do we reveal what happens when we actually do hit it? I mean, it would be good. What about the gong has some very huge impact on the people's bodies there? What if, like, you know, what if everybody orgasmed? Simultaneously.

We did talk about that. Like, could it cause a global orgasm? That'd be really interesting. Yeah, like, it's like, you know, within vibration range, which was very far. Like, this is a big gong. Imagine a gong, the size of, like, the height of, say, the Empire State Building. A size I know you're very so well familiar with, Andy. Oh, yes.

And it's wide as maybe Edihad Stadium. Yeah, wow. I mean, why didn't you just say it's as big as... Okay, yeah, great. And, I mean, maybe we... It sounds like we need a big machine or something to gong, bonk it. Oh, how big were you picturing it? Yeah, I mean, I guess I was picturing it maybe six meters high.

I think gongs already exist out of that big. Really? Yeah. What's your guess on? Jimmy. Jimmy, look it up. World's biggest gong. Yeah, I'd say six meters high.

It's the world's biggest gong. Man, so far, the AI thing doesn't make me feel good. Oh, wow. Oh, man. World's biggest gong, 2.36 meters. Is that all? Feels like we could make a bigger gong than that. I think we might be in the running for biggest gong.

Wait, wait, wait, this is, wait, world's largest playable gong, that's gongzilla in Germany. Yes. That's the 2.36. There is a large, the largest displayed gong. Yes. It's 5.15 meters. Whoa, I was really close. The world's biggest gong just for looking at.

Feast your eyes. Yeah. I reckon if it's not playable, it's not a gong. Yeah, that's not a gong. Yeah. That's obvious to me. Yeah, to me, that's just, but I mean, it must be playable. Why not just play it?

Wait a second. I bet I could play it. Wait a second, wait a second. There's more information as I keep scrolling down. What turns out this AI overview? Oh, wait, wait, wait, now it's got largest sound temple gong. This one says it's 20 meters in diameter. Located it's pretty big. Yeah, wait a second. I gotta look this up wait

Gong let me just look this up okay this is the Wat-Tham Kuhah-Swan in Kong sham Gong oh where is this is the place called Kong sham Gong what is going on here what is gonging on what is going on what is going on here can what is going on what is going on here going gong. I, I, I, I, I, I, we're going to have to do some independent research

and come back. This AI thing is yeah. See, this is the problem. Since I've mentioned, yeah, we're hitting the limits of what AI can do.

Okay, we've found one of the limits. It's unable to give us accurate gong information. And there's going to be so many other things out there like this that it's just not capable of. Okay, we've got to realize we're hitting the ceiling.

And that ceiling is a gong. And it's making a beautiful gonging sound. From the gong shop.com, right? There's an 80 inch gong. Wait, is it 80 inch? Let's buy one. Let's buy one for the podcast. Try to guess how much an 80 inch gong costs.

The paced symphonic gong, which they're sold out of, by the way. I reckon it's heaps. I reckon it's $3,000. Andy, increase it. 10,000. Increase it.

No. I mean, $20,000, surely $20,000. Increase it. Fuck! Oh, this is my favorite game. Okay.

I hope you've got a gong sound effect queued up for when I get this right. $40,000 for an 80 inch gong I think

that's more than fair, more than reasonable. Increase it. This is $80,000. I'm not paying more than $80,000.

I pay $1,000 per inch of gong. That is, in my opinion, the going rate. That's market value for your standard gong. You pay by diameter.

You've overshot it, Andy. It's $53,657. Bong. I wonder if that includes delivery. It doesn't even look like it might include the thing for dangling it. Wow. Yeah.

An undangled gong. Unplayable. Well, now we know, as in every episode of the... to in the think tank we're happy to say now we know what that gong costs and let's say it again now we know

what that gong cost well there you go finding a big gong underground can you take us through the sketch ideas please alistair all right andy Here we go. We got I don't have diarrhea, the movie.

This is the first movie made exactly for the cinema with a break pedal and an accelerator. We have the mid-convo hello for when I really see you. We got Freaky Friday Jesus and Mary. We got Workers' Convo. You know what that's called? Freaky Good Friday. Freaky Good Friday, Jesus Christ, Andy, that's good. We said, we've got, do you want to look at my fart, the fake art satire?

We got AIL-A-I Alzheimer's, the Gold Rush for AI pun domain names. WWW. Domain naim. We got. But the brain chip plus AI agents, bad situation. Oh, wait, we got the first, wait, the robot. What was the robot, like, reality show? Is it a robot that's in, oh, on an island and there's six, one nerd and ten?

What about... Robots? It's 10 robots, but they think they're humans and they've got to figure out which one of the others is a robot. Really?

That's actually... That would be incredible television. Yeah. Yeah, robots. And they have it in their programming that there's only one robot on the island. Yeah.

I wonder if they'd end up concluding that they are the robot. Maybe they have it in their programming that they're not a robot. But this would be like that experiment that they did where they got three guys who all thought they were Jesus in a room together and had them chat. And every one of them was like,

these other guys are crazy. They think they're Jesus. Yeah. I mean, I think everyone's since said, this is one of the most unethical experiments ever done. But at the same time, pretty fucking cool and funny. You could basically do the same thing with like you get 10 MAGA guys into on an island, I guess. And you guys got to figure out which one is the communist.

Yeah, really good. You know, and which one is the plant? Yeah. I like an actual plant, though. An actual plant. And, okay, wait. Oh, yeah, last thing. and we got the big gong

and who gets to gong it we find a big gong I mean we added a lot to crud's idea there so much yeah we just go yeah

and then there's a big gong and everybody wants to go to the gong and then we have to decide who gets the gong the gong the gong hey sometimes that's all it needs every time I hear about people

dying in a cave I just say that is caving is the like I and I enjoy bad experiences but caving I have no fucking interesting Oh my God

You are so right You are so fucking right Just dying in a cave Why Yeah But then it makes me go Maybe what's down there Must be so good

Must feel so good Oh they're trying to get to that gong Yeah Like do they ever find Just huge rooms down there? I think there is like a certain percentage of the population who really just are desperate to discover new stuff and we've discovered so much of the stuff that like there's really,

you know, it really is just like crawl down a hole. You might find another hole. We are literally, we're scraping the bottom of the barrel. Yeah. It's sad. We need to wipe the memory of everybody in all knowledge and start again. Yeah. See what we come up with.

We're spalunking the bottom of the barrel. Andy, thank you so much. Alistair. Boop boop boop boop boop. Yep, yep. Babadababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababab Bop. Thank you so much, Alistair.

Thank you. I feel like I cut you off there before. Oh, no, not at all. And you got anything to promote, Elle? Um, on July 7th. I'll be at the comedy nest doing the Montreal series show as part of Just for Laughs. This is good. That's all I really got in the chamber right now.

How about you, Andy? I don't think I've got anything to promote, but I'm hoping to go on another podcast sometime soon. That's cool. That would be beautiful. You're a great podcast guest, Andy. Thanks very much And thank you for guesting on my podcast every day Every time I do it Thank you Have we ever done an episode without both of us?

I don't think we have Well, maybe How would we know Well, I guess we would Somebody would have listened to it Yeah Oh you're saying without either of us Yeah

That's right Without other of us To have like guest hosts Matt Stewart You know what We should We should do that

Get them to listen to To do an episode of To In the Think Tank Get the do We should hook that up To in the Think tank Because I think that would be a fun time For them to get to just mock us

Mm Maybe they don't care enough To mock us though Fuck You know Oh fuck They're coming to Canada I'll see them

this year it's really good I think I think there's a good chance you'll be a guest host I reckon oh yeah maybe me and Matt might do some

stand-up shows together oh it's even better all right and better we wrap this up Andy love you you

bye bye bye