Two In The Think Tank - 529 - "NEEDS OF PYRAMID"

Episode Date: June 10, 2026

Beanful Baby, Man O Beans, Encore Hostage, Actually Improvised Bomb, Humanhattan Project, Marooned Five, Needs of Pyramid, Alien Triangle, Emotionally Strong Shape, CSIRO Hotline, Local Member Wank Van, Bunt ComedyYou can purchase A Listener hats by emailing [e-mail] up on the 500th episode hereCheck out the sketch spreadsheet by Will Runt hereAnd visit the Think Tank Institute website:Check out our comics on instagram with Peader Thomas at Pants IllustratedOrder Gustav & Henri from Andy and Pete's very own online shopYou can support the pod by chipping in to our patreon here (thank you!)Join the other TITTT scholars on the TITTT discord server hereHey, why not listen to Al's meditation/comedy podcast ShusherAlasdair Tremblay-Birchall: @alasdairtb and instaAnd you can find us on the Facebook right here(Oh, and we love you) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hi, this is Andy just jumping in quickly before the podcast to say that there were some issues, unfortunately, with Alastair's audio. We have marshaled all the forces of the world's computers to try and fix that. It's listenable, but you might notice he sounds a bit not quite like himself. Don't panic. That's just AI trying to be a L. A guy. AI trying to be a guy and failing. But then don't we all fail sometimes to be our best selves?

So don't judge it or us too harshly. Thank you. Bye. Beanie adults. Being the adults. Being the adults. Been the adults. Been the adults.

Been the adults. Hello and welcome to two in the think tank, the show, where we come up with five sketch ideas. Alistair I am Andy And I am Alistair George William Oh my Rachel

Had I'm already I'm enchanted And Nay, Bewitched Yeah By your opening song

Your opening Gambit You have my attention, sir Beanie adults Wow Yes We've heard about Their earlier form Mm

The Beanie babyes. Remember beanie babies? This is what they look like now. They're all growing up and boy, are they gorgeous. What actually is a beanie baby? I don't even know. They're sort of more like animals.

They're little teddy bear, I think, things. Yeah, so they're not human babies. No, they're not a human baby. I mean, they really should be beanie cubs, shouldn't they? They should. Yes, offspring. If we, baby, baby, beanie, beanie, mini beasts. No, forget it.

Beanie adults is good and there aren't, it's interesting that you don't really cross the streams much with toys. Like in terms of an actual representation of a baby as a toy. Yeah. They, you know, if you get one of those, it's like a porcelain doll or it's like a hard plastic. Why isn't there an actual beanie baby? Like, why isn't there a baby toy that's like, that's full of beans? What's wrong with that? Is it going to be too upsetting?

I imagine its arms being all flexible. It looks like a human baby. But it's filled with cook beans or raw beans? It's full of wet, wet, wet, baked beans. Baked beans. Okay. Yeah, those navy beans. So if you squeeze it, that stuff comes out.

The tomato sauce oozes out through the skin. All through the holes. So if you give it. to a kid, any orifice is a spot through which baked beans can out. And then you go to just, the parent has the refill her back up with a can of beans. Comes with a six pack of beans. Yeah. I mean, because you think about it, there's already toys for babies that are babies,

where it's like, this baby will piss and shit. You know, that already exists as a thing. but what about one that is full of beans? Full of beans is a great name for them too. It is. It's really good. You know, because kids, kids, they can learn from those little dolls that they already have that babies piss and shit. But what they're not learning from that is that sometimes you're full of beans. You know, that's another of life's, of the facts of life.

I mean, it might be a great way to feed your kit. Oh my God. They can sort of chew on it and suck on it and extract. Suck the tomato sauce out. Squeeze, you know, suck a bean out of its ear. Yeah, great. Eat a bunch of beans out of its butt. Not out of its butt.

Yeah. I was really proud of us for not even mentioning its butt so far this whole time. Did that pride just disappear, Andy? It evaporated. You must have still felt proud of yourself that you didn't bring it up. Yeah, I mean, I was a little. little ashamed of myself for thinking it in in the first place. But then...

But I said every hole. And I was proud of myself for not saying. Every orifice. That's the first orifice you think of. But I was thinking every acceptable one. I was imagining maybe they had even little sort of holes in the end of their fingers where you could get a single bean out, you know? Really?

Maybe it's a... Baby's with extra holes. Okay. This is, this is a, this is a, this podcast is a ride off. It's a ride off. Yeah. And if you're listening... and you're having a bad time.

I'm telling you stop listening now because it's only going to get worse, right? This is a new product. It's called full of beans. And full of holes. It's not for kids. It's not for kids. It's for adults.

And it's a little figurine that is full of beans, right? It can be an adult man. Okay. And you suck the beans out of him. Yeah. Right? And buy a man of beans.

Sometimes. Sometimes. Sometimes. Sometimes. you're only, you're not very hungry. Then just suck a bean or two out of the tip of his finger, right? And you just suck on his finger. And you can see the beans like under the skin,

under the furry cloth skin, sort of glooping up through the finger. He's got a lulling cloth as a skin. But then, if you got a hunger on, you could suck a whole mess of beans out of his ass. Yeah, that's true. I mean, while you're watching the game. You got a real thirst.

Yeah. A hunger thirst. a thirst for food. Yeah. And you can only quench that with a manna beans. Yeah. And I'm writing it like they write manna war, you know, with the O apostrophe. Because there's not many foods that offer you, like there's foods that offer you a range of sizes.

That are delivered inside of a man. There's foods that offer you a range of flavors. But there's not many foods that offer you a range of speeds. this guy, every orifice is a different diameter, right? So depending on the rate of being delivery that you want, you just suck on a different hole. Look, I have never done this big that I'm about to say. But you could imagine...

I'm so glad I told everyone to stop listening. I think having sort of like a, like, you know, a doll of a man, you know, and forget it. I can't, though, but like, I think, I think, like, having the, the butt cheeks up against the either side of your cheeks, your face cheeks. I feel like that would actually kind of be comfy while you're sort of chewing beans out of that, that doll's eye. Yeah, I feel like that would, I don't know if that would hit, like, pressure points or something like. like that but I feel like it would almost you know

I would like you like I would love if we released it and then like Chinese medicine experts come out and say actually this is really right on in terms of what we know this is really like I don't know this massages your cheeks in such a way

that gets your chi flowing yeah and there's actually no other way to get that you know yeah they tried with other techniques but this is almost the only thing that'll do it. Yeah, there's a bunch of acupressure masters that are bowing to us. And not because, not because they're, they are Chinese or Asian or whatever.

I just mean like, as a general form of respect, not a bowling. Yeah, no, they're doing a Western bow. It's a Western bowing. The way that, so like someone would bow down to a king. Yeah, and not like a. I'm so sorry. Why? Now, look.

at the at the theater right um they've just done a great play we applaud and they bow to us surely we should bow to them you know they're the ones who've done the beautiful rendition of of death of a salesman that they should applaud us and then we bow to them we bow to them now why are they applauding our patience that should that's what it should be Right? Like, the default is we should be applauded for sitting through the play. Yeah. Now, if the play is really good, okay, you can walk off and feel like you don't have to applaud us.

If the, and we'll both just sit there in silence at the end of the play and you leave. Now, if the play's incredible, okay, then the audience will applaud and you can be in silence. But the default assumption that we as the audience are going to applaud, even if we haven't had a good. time. I think that's wrong. You've got to start with the actors applaud the audience and then you work your way up. Sort of like negative numbers. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it's such a tough one because a lot of the time you just want to get out of there. You don't want to have to sit off. Yeah, it's true. That's true. But I've, I've got to tell you, I've never wanted an encore. No, me neither. At any, at any show, I've certainly never wanted a second curtain call from

a play. That's kind of what's interesting is that because then they often hold back the best song for the encore. So then suddenly it becomes like a ransom thing. Because you're like, you're like, you have to applaud us or else you won't get the best song. And so that's how they make the encore or sort of like a transaction. Yeah. It is a, it's a, it's a hostage situation. You're right. It's like, well, actually, I'm just now forced to applaud. It's like when you pay for, a government pays for a contract

to build a big new road. And then the company's like, actually, we're not going to be able to finish the road. We're going bust. You need to bail us out and pay us a whole lot more money to finish the road. Yeah. That's, that's not good.

That's not the deal. You've kidnapped the best song. Yeah. You do all the, you do all your best stuff, right? I'll leave when I've had enough. and if you want to do an encore, I'll tell you what, you can play some of your new shit while we walk out and while the house lights are on, and it'll just be like sort of leaving music.

Yeah. Okay? That's the deal. You should have played your best song in the first three songs. That's all I really needed. That's the only time I still really wanted to be there. Yeah. Yeah.

How, I mean, maybe you could just show up, you could have a thing where you only show up at the encore, and only at the end of. the applause of the encore so you don't have to do all that clapping. I think that if they don't do the best song in the first three songs, the audience, we just need to do this once. The audience needs to be an agreeance that we will all walk out. Yeah, that's good. Let's reestablish some dominance. It's pathetic.

They are. Yeah. They've got too much power now. Yes, exactly right. No, they are, um, they're taking the piss. They're taking the piss. They know they've got us over a, over a barrel. Yeah.

We want to hear, um, we want to hear, uh, Campdown Ladies, uh, sing this song. We've come to this, uh, within the first three tracks. I need. Who was that guy? Steven something? Is he Stephen?

Hey? Oh, I just got. I got delivered in an iced coffin. A delicious ice coffee. You know what we discovered? If you make an ice coffee with this milk that you get from, it's like a milk from costo. And it's like a, you get a case of these milks that are like,

I guess they're like a protein enriched milk of some sort, right? But if you have, make a coffee, like a shot of coffee at home, and mix it with this, even mix it with half of it, half of one of those things and then some ice. It's better than basically any coffee you can buy. There is not a buyable coffee out there that is basically as good as this.

This is a coffee hack. This is real smart. But like you're talking about milks. So this is not like a carton of milk. No, this is like a little milk. It's a little bottle of milk. It's got a particular name. Wait.

Let's see. Cospo. to know, tell me the sake. How did you discover this? Was this something you discovered by accident? Because you didn't have any other milk? I think in the end I was buying him because she was on a bit of like a, you know, a gym thing.

And then one day was out and about and had the milk with her. And she bought like a, she went to a Starbucks and just got this shot of milk. I know a shot of coffee. Just a shot of milk. Thanks. I think it's called fair life protein milk. Yes. Or fair life, you know, anyway.

And then so she just added her milk to it. And then she was like, holy shit. This could be better than almost anything. Definitely. And the fact that it was still good with a Starbucks, Shaw. Yeah, I mean, that's incredible. Because I'm sure I've said this before on the podcast recently, but I've only been to Starbucks a couple of times.

in my life. Yeah. And the most recent time I went, I bought a coffee, and it was the most unpleasant liquid I've ever encountered in my life. Yeah. It was like absurdly revolting. And the idea that you can be an international coffee chain with coffee that tastes like literal liquid dog shit is. is... Literal don't shit.

Yeah. Is incredible. Incredible to me. It's a testament to, I guess, the American dream. Yeah. Well, apparently, because here there's not really... Like, I mean, in Montreal there are some, but where we're on in the South Shore,

there's no independent coffee shops. But apparently, there was a time when there was a lot more, like, roasters and stuff like that. Independent roasters. and they watched coffee shops. But then there was a little period there where apparently they were all burning down.

Now, that makes me wonder whether or not. You know, obviously, Montreal's a real burning things down kind of town. There's a bit of, there's a fair bit of, you know, underworld activity here. But I wonder whether like major corporations ever work with, you know,

do they give a little contract to the underworld to be like hey we we sort of like you know our profits are down too we uh yeah i mean you know Starbucks yeah that they might not be above a little underhanded you know that's just that's just good business sense if you can get away with it i mean i wonder whether or not you know if if you're the underworld and you're working with a big company and i think you go home we're going legit working for the big dogs do people ever call it quebecistan I've never heard that but you know what I will ask around

because I still feel like I'm not super you know I'm not deep in because it would make sense right you know because you've got a bit of a history of theocracy there it's true like you know it's it's and

I hear you've got your roads have got a lot of potholes as well you know which I'm going to start using it Afghanistan probably has that. I mean, from all the roadside bombs. They have... They have...

They've got a reason for. Yeah. If you should see the size of some of these potholes... Without the excuse. Yeah. The improvised explosive devices. Yeah. The roadside bombs.

You know, why don't people ever do... something positive on the roadside. Improv-you know, why don't somebody improvise positive things? Why don't they do a Harold on the side of the road? Yes, exactly. Yeah, improvisation. It can really go,

it's a two, double-sided coin, isn't it? It can really go one of two ways. Yeah. It's either an interconnected scene about people in a relationship. Pre-existing relationship is usually the most emotionally satisfying. Of course.

Or it's or it's a it's a, it's a, it's a bomb. I wonder whether when they were improvising the roadside bomb, whether or not.

And who's to say which is worse? Sorry. Yeah. But I wonder when the roadside bomb was improvised whether it's, let's say there were two people involved,

whether one guy said, I think there should be some grass seeds in it. Does the other person? Yes. And, I think they should. And they accept everything the other person suggests.

Yeah. Very good. I personally think that improvised explosive devices, I think they are, what do you say? They're cheap, you know, it's a bit easy. Yeah. People go in expecting less from an improvisation.

improvised explosive device. Like if you just told somebody... People just kind of act blown up. If you told people, oh, this is an explosive device and they saw it and they thought that it's something that you'd worked on really hard and that you thought was good,

they'd have a much higher standard than if you told them you'd just improvised it. Then they probably, yeah, they probably would smash their bodies up into little pieces much more readily Yeah I agree with that

I apologize I started thinking about something And I had a really good idea And then it completely disappeared Oh no I understand No Andy it's okay I bet it was really good

Yeah I bet your idea was great I think it was but look I think Andy I think that this is a really good bit it's fertile it's certainly fertile territory especially I mean that's why the grass seeds are so helpful in this circumstance do people actually put grass seeds into improvised explosive devices what what does your instinct tell you

moving? Well, uh, I, my instinct tells me probably not, but then I was like, look,

if you're improvising, you want to create some shrapnel. But then I feel like also we might have talked about on an episode, not that long ago. Putting, putting seeds into it, into bombs.

Yeah, so that when they explode, they at least grow some, like, native, you know, you liais with a land care and you make sure that you're using the seeds.

of like endemic species or something I mean that's a great idea Andy but can you actually think about how I got to grass seeds I think it's getable Um Was it something about the roadside

Was it something about doing something What's something that would normally go in a bomb? Fertilizer Yeah well that's right fertilizer is this sort of Your starting point there And so then you think of an I just picture bags of fertilizer Come in that sense

same kind of bag as like sort of standard dirt you know like from bunnings or whatever and then I assume that you could get some of those bags of dirt infused with grassy already I'll say

the levels that you're working on the strands that you're pulling together this isn't this is incredible this is high level stuff I was I was trying to show how low level it was it was it was just I'm just sidestepping standard things there's no originality

in there. I'm just... I think that's exactly what that is. I think sidestepping standard things is the definition of originality. But I mean, the fact... I mean, there's got to be more about using fertilizer

to make bombs. Yeah. Right? Like, it's not... It's not any fertilizer. Like, you can't use, like, horse manure. Blood, bone?

To make a blood and bone. That's a proper improvised. I guess there would be nitrates in there, the rent. Probably. I mean, I presume that across the spectrum of fertilizer, one of the things that you're looking for is those nitrates. Andy, are we... To get those nitrates in there.

Is this, like, actually... Like, bomb, like a Rhodes Head Bomb Improvisation that we're doing right now? Where we're... We're kind of going like, oh, blood and bone. I mean, does that mean that the very thing that you will get from your explosion? Wow. Like, could potentially set you up for your next explosion. We're talking chain reaction here, Andy.

Yeah, we're talking about a closed ecosystem. We're talking sustainability. We're talking permaculture. You use the blood and the bones. of the victims of the roadside bombs to build the next generation of roadside bombs. But think about it. Like, it's not that different from a nuclear bomb, right?

Because you just got to get the material close enough to itself. So let's say a big crowd. Yes. Right? I really densely packed crowd. And like a nuclear bomb, you get it more tightly together by using another bomb.

Yeah, now look, I agree with you, Alastair. I think you're completely correct. I do think that like, okay, there's a few leaps, assuming that we were right about blood and bone being a perfectly acceptable source of nitrates for an explosive device, there's still, I think, some steps involved blowing up some people,

they won't automatically blow up the next group of people. I think probably you still need to do some sort of treatment. The body continuously synthesizes its own nitrates from the amino acid argonine to regulate physiological conditions. Now, we just have to get it out of the people and into a compact enough way. So I'm saying it's probably got to be a circle bomb

around the crowd of people. Yes. And then you're going to be a circle bomb. going to blast them together. And then during that process, you've got to be able to extract the nitrates out from the blood and bone.

These are just these are just technical problems that we will solve in our Manhattan project. Our sort of improvised roadside bomb Manhattan project. Yes, Hugh Manhattan.

I mean, I mean, it is you, Manhattan. I mean, it is crazy that we're building bombs to make people explode when we could just get the people themselves to explode. Like, what if the people were the bombs? That's right. That's all I'm saying. What if, you know, if they already, that is, that is sort of in many ways the Holy Grail, I imagine.

of weapons manufacture is to just get people to explode themselves without having to build all this expensive infrastructure, materials, single-use-only bombs. That's right, yeah. I guess maybe if you gave them a food that somehow ignited the bomb within them. Or just convinced them to.

through the power of persuasion. Maybe give them the know-how through education. Yes, exactly. I mean, that would be crazy if they found out that there is one weird trick for getting... Making people explode. Yeah, like if you go, if you just do this, like that, you can actually explode.

I mean, there's been in times in my life where it feels like I'm close. Really? I think we discussed that last episode, yeah. I think we did. I think there was some, yeah, there was some feedback. There was some interest. Years were pricked.

Now. So, you know, we're on, we're on the, yeah. Andy, this is a, this is not a great topic for the podcast, but you know how like you were a big MacBook Air guy for a long time? Oh, boy, still my best purchase of my life. Yeah, and then you kind of pivoted to the, uh, to the tablet thing thinking I could just use this, the iPad, yeah. And then for a while it was kind of working.

And then for a while you were like, this has become a huge nightmare. Yes, yes. Worst decision of my life. Yeah. And iPad's are great if you want every single thing that you do on your computer to be a workaround and a fuck around. Yeah. If you want to have to, if you want to have to, like, it's a, a highly advanced piece of technology,

but it still feels like a lump of clay. Yeah. In some ways. Now, that you're having to mold to your will. Are you still stuck in that world? Or did you get like a work computer or something? I've got a work computer now.

It's what I'm recording this podcast on right now. What kind of computer is it? Is it an Apple? It's a MacBook Pro. Oh, wow. Because did you think it's a pro? Did your ears get tricked up by this Apple MacBook Neo? the one that's kind of like a cheaper but kind of like still air air like sure did alistair read a couple of

articles about that thought maybe that's uh you know if i lose my job but somehow still have money i need to get myself a new device i was like you you are you are queued up you are the next in line baby neo yeah right well there you go yeah you know if you rearrange the letters in neo you know if you rearrange the letters in Neo, it makes one. Yeah, yeah. It does. Or Eno. Or Eon.

Or Eon. Eon. Or no, no with an E. It's actually heaps of ways you can do that. Because that's where people were trying to tell us about Neo in the Matrix, right? Yeah. I mean, this is, that's amazing. All the layers and all the layers and all the.

levels on which you can enjoy that. Here's the thing I was thinking about last night. Yesterday. You know that song? I think who is it by it goes, When it gets cold outside and I got nobody to love. Do that song? Yeah.

What is that song? I think it's a Maroon 5? It is Maroon 5. Is that Rob Thomas? No, no, no. He's Matchbox 20. Another. I always get those confused.

You've got a word with an M and you've got a number in there. Oh, yeah, M.A. Then a number. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You were fucked. You were done. You had no chance, Andy. That's a real mean problem.

No, it's Adam Levine is who you're thinking of. Ah, yes. Of course. I was thinking about that, right? When it gets cold outside and you've got nobody to love, right? Now, he's thinking that if he finds somebody to love, he'll be able to get worn. Right? And so he's sad because he's like, oh my God, I let the weather.

I let it get to winter. And I have no one to love. I'm going to freeze to death. Yes. He's like a squirrel. Which I think is terrible. He hasn't buried enough nuts. That's right.

But I think it's terrible, a terrible way to think. Because I think that you have to meet your own basic needs before you can break somebody into the relationship. You're right. Okay. Yeah. I don't think that you can. can expect that somebody else. Because imagine that you are

freezing to death. And then you go out, in order to solve this problem, you go out cruising. Right? You go out and hit the town. They're like, I know what I'll do. I'll get bodyworned. And then you bring somebody back. I'll hit the buzz.

Yeah. You go out, you hit the town, right? You find somebody. You get them back home. Near near death. Like, is what you're bringing this person into, right? And you go, no, no, no. If we huddle together, we will keep each other a lot.

You go, that's not, you're not, you got nothing to offer this person, right? And then he gets later in the song, he goes, is there anyone out there? Because, so obviously that person leaves, right? And he goes, is there anyone out there because it's getting harder and harder to breathe? Right. His body, his body functions are shutting down. From the cold. I wonder.

Is this guy, he could be in a spaceship. Wait. You know, cold outside. Yeah. Got nobody to love. And then, like, it's getting, is there anybody out there? This is a classic thing to say when you're, like, trying to radio Earth, you know? And then hard and harder to breathe sounds like, you know, there's a oxygen supply issue.

Possibly. I mean. Possibly. This isn't. And is he matchbook 20? Matchbox 20? or is he maroon five? Maroon five, he's been marooned.

I'm just putting the pieces together in space. You know what, you're right. Has this fucked up what you were trying to say? I mean, I think that even if you are marooned on a planet or somewhere in space, I think that may he be finding a date, finding so. It shouldn't be your number one priority. because then what are you doing? You're calling

back to Earth and you're like Houston we need a date Where are the babes? Yeah. And then once you get a babe out there you know

is that is that are you in a better position? I guess you could eat your love totally I think the harder and harder to breathe situation though you're right like bringing another person into this situation

it's almost that's not going to solve no no no exactly it's a drowning man pulling somebody else down right and and I just think that it's it's completely the wrong attitude it's people putting this idea of meeting to be in a relationship

above anything else before they realize that you've got to be able to take care of yourself and love yourself before that you can really bring somebody else in yeah So it might as well be like, is there anybody out there because I don't know how to wipe my ass? Exactly. You know?

Yeah. My ass is getting caked and more caked with shit. Yeah. Is there anyone out there because now I actually can't shit because there's shit over my shit hole? It's sealed up. It's sealed up. It's external constipation. Normally the blockage is inside the ass.

This is a kid sitting at the table going, bad as got. Ma'am! Ma'am! Like that, just going like, you can do something for yourself. You can't just keep... I need a glass of milk!

I don't have a milk. Mom! Is a girl... Answer my call because I'm thirsty and I don't know which a way the tap is supposed to turn. exactly come on yeah Adam I mean I think yeah

I mean I'm just saying love love is is near the top of the pyramid of needs but it's not the top it's not they tall wait no oh no wait sorry yeah so the top the top is the bits that you don't need right um it's interesting because in order for something to be a pyramid actually the top is the only bit that you do need. If you only have the bottom of a pyramid, you don't have a pyramid at all. So you're a second.

You've just got like what... Right? In terms of like a pyramid's pyramid of needs, the top is at the bottom. That's the bottom. That's the biggest bit. The pyramid, the pyramid needs a top in order to be a pyramid. Andy, it's...

The bottom of the pyramid is at the top of the pyramid of a pyramid's pyramid of needs. That's right. First you need the top. That's your basic your pyramid. It's very, very good. You need a point of, a pyramid can be really small.

If it has a top, that's literally the only bit that is necessary in order for it to be a pyramid. Everything else is... I guess we're now, we're now writing the new engineers

show. We are. Yeah. I guess so. You've got to come back to because we got a joke. We've got one more. We've got a new take on the pyramid of needs.

Obviously, we had the trapezoid of wants that we'd created. Yes, indeed. Yeah, I mean, I guess, yeah, what else did it? But even if he just had the bottom, because, I mean, that's actually the only thing that it needs. Really? Is the top. Is the top. Because without a top.

top there is no pyramid and so this is actually so it is a it is sort of more of a trapezoid but I guess it it's it's just a triangle the triangle of needs yeah or is it just like a

like a singularity of needs yeah like a tiny little tip but it's a in order for the but it's still the bottom of it yeah in order to be but it's yeah it's at the bottom but it's also the top because it's the only thing that it is also

the top um and so I guess maybe at the top you could just put double check that you've got the top yeah

you may as well yeah like you've got space now yeah you've got plenty of space to put other stuff yeah that's all you actually need

yeah if you want to add other needs they're good but they're not necessary needs no no they're luxuries

yeah they are for decadent pyramids self-realization I guess if you just add other parts those are just shelf realization because they're extra pyramid shelves

the pyramid? Pyramid? Pyramidle? Yes. The middle of the pyramid. Do you need a... That's actually the pyramid that's the middle part.

That's the pyrotop. I imagine that this sort of stuff is exactly what the aliens explained to the Egyptians when they came down. Of course. Aliens were so advanced when they created a 3D triangle. Oh. Oh. Aliens, what have you come across the stars to teach us? What secrets have you brung?

Have you ever heard of the three-sided? shape the triangle. Imagine a square. Imagine half now, half it. There you go. Not that way. Not that way. Not like that either.

That's two rectangles. That's also two rectangles. That's the same two rectangles that you did before. How should we How should we join up the three sides of this three-sided shape? Oh, you should try angles. Is that why it's called that?

Of course it is, Andy. They were trying to join up the three sides of a three-sided shape and they were writing down all the different approaches that they would consider to join these shapes. The first approach was triangles. And they did, and it worked. So that's actually, and then that's what they called it.

And the name stuck. Seems fucked that the triangle is the strongest shape. Doesn't seem, it feels like it should be the square, should be the strongest shape. I mean, has, who's strength tested every shape? Come on. Good question. You've tried every shape?

What about the pyramid? Come on. Wouldn't that be stronger? Because it's got the third dimension there, a few more. When people are trying to get into shape, they're trying to get strong. But the shape they get into is never a triangle. That's right. They're getting stronger, but they can never reach as strong as a triangle.

Perfection. I mean, is it strong? Or is it just kind of withstand a lot? It's resilient. I've never seen a triangle lift. anything. You're absolutely right. Why is it not in the Mr. Universe competition?

Why? This is when we are our most stupid Andy. You were right. This episode is a ride-off. But also there's more than one type of strength. That's true. Emotionally strong. That's right.

What, you know, sometimes strength is just saying no. Are there any shapes that can do that? Is the triangle one of them? Yes, that's right. Is it able to, turn down a lot of money for moral reasons. Exactly.

Which shape is best at that? Yes. Which shape I'm going to try and do one about flavour. You know? Like a strong flavour. Oh yes, yes, yes, yes. Wait, wait, which shape

will make your eyes water? There, okay, good. We don't know. We don't know. Yeah. And until the government approves my research funding, we won't know. Oh, imagine getting a grant. Until...

The CSIRO returns my text messages. Respond to my text messages. Sorry, I've been looking on your website. I don't know which numbers best to text you guys my ideas. in which one of you should I call when I have an idea they should be there should be someone at the CSIRO there

manning a hotline I mean Australian needs ideas we're a knowledge nation if we want to compete you know in the 21st century we need ideas I mean just for me because these people do exist

right the idea of a person calling up and 100% believing that they have a good idea and that they don't understand why you would not want their idea. But we need this. This will help Australia.

Why wouldn't you... That's why I think there should be this hotline. Do you have an idea? Australia needs more ideas. Call 1-800-C-S-I-R-O-E-E-A-D. and we are waiting to hear what you have to say. We are desperate. Oh, my God.

I mean, that's... It's all brains on deck in Australia. I, I, that's, I mean, in terms of, like, creating a podcast, video podcast, I think, which is like, just send me a voice message of your idea. Mm. Mm. Oh, yes. You know?

And we'll talk it through. Yeah. We'll flesh it out. We'll thrash it out. We will frash it out. Okay, so here we go. Let's listen to this is Marvin's idea. We could call it the...

What? Hello? Marvin, welcome to the marketplace of ideas. You have the floor. Okay. Okay. Well, you know, how sometimes you get little bits of dirt that get stuck inside, like, parts of your penis.

you know, that's a little love sometimes and... Yes, Marvin? Yeah, okay. I'm listening. Well, it's a vacuum cleaner that you put around it, there. Ah.

But it doesn't suck forwards towards the sort of outwards. It sucks sideways. Okay, is that so it can't be misused? Well, yes, of course. That would be a gosh and horrible a beef on that. This is just for getting dirt out

like blackheads or something. Mm. Mm. Great idea, Marvin. Thank you so much. Hang on, hang on, hang on, hang on, I go, hang on. Hang on, I go, I go, hang on. No.

That's not the idea. That's not the idea. That's not the idea, though. That was just... Well, mate, we stopped in my brids for coming into the country. Ah, there it is. Thank you, Marvin. Unfortunately, that is what we require here at the Institute is new ideas.

That is so far still the only idea we have had in this in Australia Ever since we first arrived all of us as immigrants We arrived and the first thing we thought was Andy by the way there's a huge resurgence of One Nation in your country do you have any anything you would like to say? It's fucking embarrassing It's fucking embarrassing It's fucking embarrassing.

Yeah. It is like we are truly pathetic idiots. And all the worst things you can think of or say about Australia, they're all true. So it's good to know. Did you see that... It's good to know. They made another like Pauli Hans. and like cartoon thing?

Yeah, I know the guy who makes those. Really? But did you see Greg Larson and Tom Ballard were in it? Yeah, I mean, that's pretty good. That's really good. Actually, yeah. But wait, who's the guy who makes them? A guy, and I've forgotten his name,

but he did Law Review the year before I did, I think, maybe. Wow. And did some sketch. stuff and yeah I hung out with him a little bit is he and he was always kind of like edgy in the law review stuff but uh I suspect that like the vagaries of the industry like as he was always trying to make go of it as an actor or a creator yeah I suspect that the vagaries of the industry certainly push you further in a particular direction if you feel like you can't get anywhere with it.

Yeah, I mean, it's also just... Man, he was so fucking funny. He was so funny? He was so funny. Yeah. He was so funny. Yeah, right. Yeah.

And did he have a right-wing bent at the time, or do you think he's... He's just not as strong as a triangle at saying no to big amounts of money? Or small amounts of money? I reckon he may have. But like when you're in that world, you just tend to assume everyone is left with or progressive, you know. And then occasionally someone will be like, oh, I voted for Tony Abbott. And you'll be like, it'll, it'll flaw you. It's such a shock when you find out somebody is a liberal voter.

Yeah. I remember finding out one of my friends was a liberal voter and being like, oh my God. But they're just, Labor's not good with the economy. you know, what the fuck are you talking about? They're not any worse than the liberals. And then you go, oh, wait, labor is not fucking doing anything either. Oh, I mean, at least they've done this capital gains thing. Yes, it's true.

That is something. It's true. You got to do more. You got to, I mean, it's so funny with this one nation thing that they're like, sorry, I know we ought to wrap this up. but that they're that they're like we're go has anybody have you seen anybody do this yet but like you know they're like we're going to do like a Sweden style thing

with Norway style yeah fund with the gas with the gas exports and you go now has anyone have you seen anybody ask her are you guys going to do that with the mines as well yeah because she's backed by by Gina Gina Reinhardt

but I think they've also said they're not going to tax profits on the on the gas exports or something like that so it's like what are you yeah what are you even but they have to they somebody has to ask her are you going do that with the mines yeah because yeah it would be so great to see the her struggle to explain well it's the same thing it's a resource that we that we own why wouldn't you also do that with mining it's like but would it be so great to see her struggle with that because because she struggles with every answer. She struggles.

She's the, she is in a, a permanent state of struggle. I saw the thing where they were like, they had a bunch of, they had Barnaby Joyce on, on the air and they were like, so wait,

what's your policy with this, with this thing? Are you guys going to take force permanent residents to sell their houses? Oh, yes. Oh, okay. Oh, actually, no.

There's no consequences. There will be no consequences for that. Hitler's, he wrote mine cunf. That was his struggle. That was his struggle. That was his struggle. Yeah. If Pauline Hanson

wrote her cumpf, it would be a book about getting sentences out. About finishing a sentence. Oh, without bursting into tears. bursting into tears. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Anyway, she's going to be the next prime minister, but that's very exciting. Very exciting. I mean, this is like the issue that the left has to figure out is you have to be at least good enough that people don't go to the absolute morons. like that the absolute morons do not feel like the only solution to the average Australian. Yes, the worst possible choice. You have to somehow, you have to, I don't know how.

You have to be differentiated enough from the, from the major, like, right party that the idea can't be. but that's the thing is they won't go to labor because because that's what they're rebelling from so it means that the things like the Greens and the Independence have to give a viable alternative but there needs to be another alternative to Greens because it's so deeply and built in country folk

to be like that is fucking Greenies there basically just has to be like a you know stop building billionaires kind of party. So many of our brains are completely broken. Yeah. In this country. I think that's it.

Like we're unable to, yes, but yeah, but we're unable to process information and we're unable to reason. We're unable to connect ideas together. And so we need a new way of communicating. Yeah.

And there's, We need to find another way into the human brain that has not yet been discovered to... Yeah. To motivate people to act in their own best interests. Yeah. And not just... Yeah. I don't know what it is.

Maybe it's a cattle prod up the asshole. There may be a way to the brain through the anus. And we might be able to... I think you're going to find it hard to get to the average person through their asshole. I think that's going to be a slow... We need to get there through maybe their front genital. Okay. And through the form of an orgasm.

It's like a free orgasm thing like then outside of pubs. Yeah. Yeah. And, you know, it's delivered through like, you know, you've got a, you know, like a nurse there. And they give you a clean, either like, you know, thing that you put your dick in and you go. into a booth or you know a little thing you put over the top of your

your virgin and if you vote for me for Prime Minister of Australia I will come to your house and we'll whack you off I will whack off every single person who votes for me imagine if it was like if the

potential local member had a van that could give you the best orgasm of your life wow I mean that's interesting you know yeah and and it's self-funded

the van itself yeah it's not like they're not going to be like because that's the thing that they're always going to be like oh yeah but where's the money coming from labor no no no on night this

for the whack off van he's an inventor and then I will give I will give and then suddenly it's like all the if it's working you would definitely start seeing other parties be like oh we've created an event that give you an even better

rule guess yeah um all right um local member local member best has of a come we all right let's go three words from a listener um is this been a good episode yeah and yeah i'm having a good time I'm having a great time Three words from a listener Andy This listener, who has provided so much to us Including $3 on Patreon

This listener is Jim Little Jim Little Jimithy Little Oh Jimothy Littleton And Jimothy has provided three words from a listener And would you like to guess what the first of those three words are.

Okay, the first word is... Fake. Upper. Oh. Upper. Not a single letter, correct. Foxy. Hang on.

Foxy? Yeah. Or foxy? Foxy. Like the animal? Foxy. Okay. Foxy, boxy.

Second word, Andy. Your mind has been ruined by these things. No, the second word is curveball. Foxy The word is What it says Foxy Curveball

It is, yeah Third word Conclusion Oh, no This third word is Defense Foxy Curveball Defense

I mean these are just Three Words aren't they In a way that's right you think about it yeah the curveball

what is it screwball screwball comedy now I don't I think of all the genres yeah that's got to be

the best name it's got to be the most fun yeah of all the names of all the genres is a screwball they had to come up with a whole new word for it

baseball pitch maybe it is maybe it's a type of curveball A screwball. A screwball. Maybe it twists this way and that. Yeah, I think...

Um, yeah, sports, unlike a standard curveball, the screwball moves in the opposite direction, breaking towards the pitcher's arm size. It is thrown with an unnatural inside-out twisting motion of the wrist. That's unnatural. I've always said that's unnatural. Putting heavy stress on the pitcher's arm. Yeah. Well, that's what will happen when you go against nature.

Yeah, and yeah. So, but, you know, it's a highly eccentric, zany or rational person. This is a person who's a screwball. They should explore to see whether or not there are any other baseball maneuvers that would make a good genre for comedy. That's good, yeah. Any other types of pitch. Yeah, or hits. Or hits, maybe, yeah.

Or hits, maybe a bunt. You know, like, could you make a bunt comedy where you kind of just crouch and you hold something firmly in front of you? Could that be a... Could you place the comedy off that? I've definitely seen a few foul ball comedies. Yeah.

There was... Did you ever see the movie, Tom Cats? No. Oh, is that, wait, is that our buddy? Wait, that's our buddy. Oh, no, no, it's not.

Oh, yes, it is. It's our buddy. Jerry O'Connell. Jerry O'Connell, yeah. Yes. I haven't watched it. Oh, and it's got the girl from the, from American Pie. Shannon Elizabeth.

Shannon Elizabeth. She's in it. Yes, she's the love interest. But like it's genuine, like it's from that, a particular era of comedy, like a gross out comedy, I guess. like sort of frat boy kind of thing and one of the most like fucked up scenes you've disappeared off of i can't oh no you're back you can't him i'm here that um one of the guys

i for a second then i was genuinely i can hear me fucking hell so one of the guys um he's having to get a ball removed right okay for cancer oh my gosh do you want me to describe the scene from Tom Katzeg, he's getting a ball removed, right? And he wants to keep the ball, and the doctor says he won't be able to. So they try and steal the ball back from the hospital. What does he want to do with it? What does he want to do it? He wants to keep it.

He wants to keep it. The ball, this is after a big extended comedy set piece to do with them all whacking off to donate sperm. Yeah. Because he's donating spurt. Because one of them, Jerry is thinking about Shannon Elizabeth while he's doing it. Yeah. He donates like liters and liters of sperm. Oh my gosh.

Anyway. With one nut? He, no, no. Then his best friend is getting his nut removed. They try to steal the nut back from the hospital. The nut gets loose, bounces down the stairs into the cafeteria of the hospital. A mountain twerthing of meatballs. Lans.

on the meatball plate of a big fat man who you then see eating the ball you see him bite into the ball is it a bit rubbery

and eat the ball I don't remember the texture of it but it is certainly an image that has stuck with me and when I have forgotten so much and I'm worried that it will be it might be the last thing

I still hold in my moment. That is something that actually I do think about occasionally and when I think about like if I do get dementia and I lose so much of my thoughts and memories, I'm worried that the things that will be left behind will be the wrong stuff. I mean it's worth it's just like two or three thoughts. It's worth worrying about. You know the blonde guy in that who kind of looks like a young Gary Busey? Yeah, yeah. One of the nicest things you can say about a person. Well do you know that that's Gary Busey's son No

Yeah No Yeah I just found out Fucking hell Because he's been in other stuff He's been another stuff That guy

Wow He's been another stuff Gary Bucci That's wild He was in any Enemy of a stake He was in stranger things He played Bruce

He's had a He's had a storied career That's right Jake Busey Look at him Well anyway It was his

ball. Oh. Jake Busey's ball, eaten by a large man. Oh, wow. I'm looking at some recent pictures of Jake Busey. He's, uh,

yeah, okay. Yeah. I think when people get too masculine, it's kind of like, it's off-footing, isn't it? Yeah. You beef up a bit.

It's not a sign of a healthy mode, I don't think. I mean, there is, there are some aspects of it which are inevitable, like the way in which men's faces just get wider. Yeah, that's true. You know? Like, that seems to happen to almost everybody.

I think there are some people that didn't happen to, like, um, Mark Maron. Tesla, Nikola Tesla and Mark Maron, too. I think if you have a mustache, you're safe. That must be it. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, in Nikola Tesla, I think he was shockingly emaciated towards the end of his life, but at least he, at least he didn't get wide head. Yeah. You know, the curse of the wide head. You know, the curse of the wide headed male. Even Bill Burr always talked about. John Melanchamp. He's like, you don't want to get that big John

Mellencamp head. It was like, I'm going to look him up. Like a reason that he stopped drinking. Oh, it's not that bad. His head's not that bad. No, let me see. I actually reckon his head shrunk down recently. I can see some sort of intermediate pictures where his heads.

Oh, no, look. There's one where his head is like, it also just goes up. really big John Cougar Melanchard Yeah maybe it's also It's his hair But

But then also Wesie said Teddy Kennedy He would also say He had a big head That's a big old head That's Teddy Kennedy Yeah So anyway

Sorry He wasn't looking at photos on Google It's not a great thing It's not a good podcast That's not good podcasting We've got to learn this Well, that's what I did I was a rod off idea. We're here. We're here to do good podcasting, Alistair.

Now, okay, we need a sketch idea. Curveball. Screwball. Wait, no. Oh, Foxy, Curbball Defense. Foxy, I mean, I think your idea of a bunt comedy. I think, look, this is a sketch, and it's sort of a historical documentary. We've got people talking maybe over black and white footage.

It's about the history of whole. Hollywood. And this is when they were inventing the forms. And they actually went through a bunch of different types of baseball maneuvers before they arrived at the screwball as the good, the best one to base a comedy form on. And I think seeing the bunt comedy, the comedies that they made, and seeing the repartee between the, you know, the male and female leads in a bunt comedy, I think I imagine where he says something like,

say, you're looking pretty sassy for a broad in shorts or something like that. And she says, no, I'm not. That's it. It is like the ball hitting the ground. Yeah. And then she runs. Nothing.

No, I'm not. Runs. Then she runs. They had invented this thing where people sort of had a, sort of, what's the opposite of witty reparty? They were just shut down what I hope they went to everybody else said. And then run. And then run away.

Run away. So they would get as far as they could. Yeah, I like that. And then the guy would try and hit him with a ball. Is that what you do? Yeah, I mean, you guess you want to throw the ball. They try to pick up the pieces and then get them back before they get safe. I got to shoot that person before they get into their house, you know?

No, I'm not. So that's an interesting kind of scene Yeah, that's a Sure, I mean, we're writing a movie What's it like a fastball comedy Or a fastball movie would just be a movie where they just They do it and people They try to

I guess they want people to kind of miss it because the jokes are so fast And no one could hear what they ever say Yeah Yeah, what? What? Huh? Said again. It's not necessarily skillful, it's just fast.

Um, Alistair, I reckon that's a beautiful sketch idea. Let me take you through the sketch ideas for today. Let's just look at a few more guys' heads. Um, we got... Let's just Google some more doggins. We got the baby... I mean, Johnny Cash, that was a guy with a wide head. Yeah?

Oh, yeah. Biggest heads in Hollywood. Oh, that's going to tell me... Um... Kelsey Grammar, I mean, he's always had a big head. Don't Google that. Forget it. Don't Google biggest head.

It's actually not a fun nice. You see very young and you're very young and large heads. It's not good. Um, okay, we got baby, baby toy, which is a, a baby doll that's full of baked beans. Um, this is the, he's the real beanie babies, but, um, you know, it's a guy who felt like he, they didn't make the most out of the beanie baby name. Um, yes. And- You know what? I reckon Kelsey Grammer's heads actually got narrower.

Really? I guess you know. Yeah. Everybody's on the Ozoic these days. He was starting from such a... Yeah, that's... I think that I think you might be right. Um, we got manna beans, mano beans, which is the adult toy full of beans for men to just eat... You could just eat beans out of the holes of the man doll. Right then, just have a man of beans.

Uh, we got the encore hostage situation because they've kidnapped. up the best song and they're making us clap for it. Make it seem like we really want to hear some more. You've got to really make them, you've got to squeeze them. Yeah. You got to make them work. Yeah, we got the properly improvised roadside bomb where they're yes-ending each other, whatever suggestions they have for the bomb.

We got the Hugh Manhattan Project where they get... They try to just get people to... They get people to explode themselves or they try to concentrate crowds so that they can get all the nitrates in there to form a new bomb using a smaller bomb. We've got the Marood 5 Bad Dating Philosophy when it gets cold outside. You got nobody to love. We got the pyramid top is at the bottom of the pyramid's pyramid of needs. Yeah. We say, uh, wait.

this? Oh, we, Oh, we needed. You know who could do that great as a bit? Who's that? Tom Cashman would do that well as a bit. Yeah.

But, but you know who else would? I feel like we could do that. You and me. You know, this is not the shit on Tom Casman. Of course, he could do the shit out of that bit. Yeah. But, you know, I just feel like we've,

feel like we would be very capable due to the fact that it was come up right here. You know what? You're right. and we've already done bits like that which is why we were like oh that would be great for those guys that we do that do for us to do yeah yeah you're right you're right you're right sorry I don't know what I'm thinking we've got the aliens coming to earth the big we definitely needed aliens to come to earth to show us how to make a 3D

version of the three-sided sided shape we got the strongest shakes in the stronger shapes in the different meanings of strong which is the strongest tasting shape which is the strongest emotionally strongest

strongest shape we've got Australia needs ideas CSIRO hotline yeah we've got the local members best com van and

we've got the other types of baseball maneuvers that they went through for comedies before they got to screwball and for example the bunt comedy and that is it lovely stuff Andy what an episode what an episode it's a shame everybody was told to drop out within the first ten minutes but we were sucking beans out of a doll butt so you know, maybe it was for the best. Yeah. But anyone who stuck with us, I mean, should we do the song? You passed the test.

Okay. Test, test, test. La la la la la la la la la la lasagna. La la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la da. Thank you so much for listening to doing the think tank. Um, review us on iTunes. Yeah. Reviews on Spotify

Reviews on all of them. Reviews, go to every platform you've ever you can think of that does podcasting. Yelp. Go ahead. We've had a fair few ratings on Spotify as well, you know. Really? And apparently there's a feature on there

where people can lead comments. So occasionally, I've only looked at a couple because I didn't know you could do that, but there's a few that have comments. Crazy. Yeah. That's cool, man. Thanks for the comments, everybody.

Yeah. I mean, assume they're nice. But you know what? Even if they're not nice, the fact that you took the time, that means the world. Exactly. That honestly. It's an investment in us, and we appreciate that. I think it's an investment in yourself, leaving a comment.

Yes. It's what we've always said. Yeah, because you've got to feel your feelings. Yeah. Sometimes that means writing a comment. And, um... Yes, Andy? You know what?

What? We love. Love. Love. You. Bye. Thank you so much. Bye.