Two In The Think Tank - 531 - "WAR SPOON"

Episode Date: June 26, 2026

Meaning Meaning, Meaning Maxxing, God Accessible, 1990s SNL Movie Making, Pitching to Dictionary, Vomit is a Word, Masculinity is a Prison, War Spoon, Calmer SutraYou can purchase A Listener hats by emailing [e-mail] up on the 500th episode hereCheck out the sketch spreadsheet by Will Runt hereAnd visit the Think Tank Institute website:Check out our comics on instagram with Peader Thomas at Pants IllustratedOrder Gustav & Henri from Andy and Pete's very own online shopYou can support the pod by chipping in to our patreon here (thank you!)Join the other TITTT scholars on the TITTT discord server hereHey, why not listen to Al's meditation/comedy podcast ShusherAlasdair Tremblay-Birchall: @alasdairtb and instaAnd you can find us on the Facebook right here(Oh, and we love you) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I'm in Deadlines, the Deadlines, I need deadlines, Andy Deadlines, Deadlines, Deadline, Deadline, Deadline, Deadline, Deadline, Deadline, Dead. Hello, and welcome to Two in the Think Tank, the show where we come up with five sketch ideas. I'm Andy. I'm Alistair, George William Trombly, Bertulae,

almost hyperventilated with that choice of beat, breathbeat. I think that's, that's music. Alastair. Is that you, Andy? The meaning of life. The meaning of life, right? Let's go big early.

I've been thinking about it. And do you think that the meaning of life could be to find meaning in life now? Yeah. I think that this goes against my belief that these days we're all going to die while we're looking at our phones and our family is looking at their phones. And so I think that that. really plays into my thinking that there is no meaning and it's great if you do create meaning but in the end it will it won't matter but i think you know i think if you do find a meaning you know i'm not saying that there is one specific one but i think there's meaning out there to be found yeah you know

little nuggets of it or maybe seams of it that you can sort of follow yeah i think uh i think uh i think, you know, that's what we should be doing. And I do think that, like, phones are sort of like the opposite of me. Yeah, they are. You know, they are, they are noise, right? They're noise machines that just, like, distract you. So I think my theory, which is flexible and ideally meaningless enough to sort of scoop up anything. Sort of recursive almost. And to really say nothing. Just close enough to being nothing that it could almost be something. Well, I mean, you could find a meaning, like, you know, you could find a few meanings just

to accomplish the purpose of life, like, by saying something like, well, obviously, my meaning is to fertilize the ground with my body, right? And so by finding that meaning, then you've already achieved the purpose of existence. You can enhance it. You can sort of meaning max by sort of meaning max. Yeah, by sort of like, I guess, swallowing some like some dissolvable balloons of sort of blood and bone or just fertilizer and things like that before you die. Yeah. Or just having some in your pockets and then ask to be. Oh, I didn't, I didn't realize that was fertilized the ground with my body meant to die and become and rot.

I was literally like shitting on the ground. Yeah. Sure. I mean, but that's nice, isn't it that like, that you can, I think that's even better because you can sort of have bits of meaning throughout your life, shitting in a field, pissing on a tree. And then you can have a big hit of meaning at the end. Oh, yeah.

When you sort of, you're, when you all become shit, you know, you know, a big, the big final God poop Here's my fear about meaning, right? About me is that where does the meaning need to exist? Because my fear with meaning is that if there's no mind to hold the meaning Then in many ways the meaning doesn't exist Yes, yes, yes.

And so therefore if you only know your own meaning And everybody else is, I guess, looking at their phones And not paying attention Or they don't know that you've taken a shit in the field do you still achieve the purpose of existence of creating meaning by not having that meaning in anybody's mind? I think it's only self-contained. I think it only has to be meaningful for you.

You know, you can start a religion and you can tell people, hey, guys, I found a bit of meaning over here. You can have some of this one if you want. You know, there's some good meaning to be. There's good meaning to be had in them hills. Yeah. You know? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But I think if it's, even if it's only just you, and if you go through your whole life, feeling that sense of meaning, and it gets you to the end, you know, then you're done. That's good. I mean, this is a great for a top 10, easy meanings to have for the meaning of life in order to make your life like 10, you know, like it's almost like a top 10 tips. It's part of a top 10 tips to add meaning to your life without having to try. It's a meaning. Yes, it's a meaning hack.

Meaning hacks. Yeah. I think it could be meaning maxing. I think if we start, and this could even be a sketch idea, dare I say. Yeah. We could have the concept of meaning maxing. And it could be a new subculture online of, and just to make it a bit funny. It could be quite toxic.

Yeah, great. I mean, I was worried there when you started suggesting making it funny for this sketch thing. I was like, ooh, is that going to fit the sort of tone of the kind of things that we normally do? Yeah, yeah, yeah. But this could be toxic meeting maxing. I mean, that's is. Toxic meaning mixing. It does sort of feel like that's what a lot of religion sort of is.

Yeah. You know, like is meeting maxing? It's like, get a super. big hat build a really glamorous cathedral okay this is meaning maxing this is trying to make it look like you've got way more meaning than anybody else have i said this in this episode about about churches and about why are they so big did they expect god to come in there like why is the roof so high i think i i don't know if you've said that but i think that's good i mean that you would hate for god to to to come in and then him to sort of be scraping not fit the

the roof and not be able to come in. Imagine that. Imagine God shows up and you've built the church too small and he can't even get in. He can't even stand up. God's got to lie down on the ground. That's embarrassing. I guess they do call it the house of God. And if God doesn't fit in the house.

Absolutely. And they've waited thousands of years for him to come. It's got to be accessible. That's right. They are. His accessibility needs. Yeah. Yeah.

No, look, I like that. maybe God has a really like and then they put that steeple there right which is even taller right that feels like you know God we built this really tall house and then somebody came in and said what have we got the calculations wrong and God is like 20 feet taller still than we'd even imagine and then they'll be like all right well let's stick an even taller little pointy bit over on the corner there and he can he can stand there in the corner Yeah. He'll be able to stretch to his full height. It's a bit, it's a bit gauche to ask. But there's no way he could be higher than that. Yeah. He couldn't possibly be.

You know, his head is probably thin. That would be ridiculous. Yeah, and really pointing. He could be a cone head. He could be wearing a wizard's hat. For a movie I've never seen, I think about cone heads almost every day. Yeah, I know. And it is, look, I think that it's a great achievement in,

terms of, you know, just committing to an idea and going for it and being like, you know, like, I miss a Hollywood that does make stuff like that. Yes. You know, that can take a three-minute SNL sketch and bang it out, you know, stretch it out for an hour and a half, two hours. Give it, you know, give it to Ted. What's his name there? a Dan Aykroyd

and I love that like that the process of I would love to be inside the process of turning a sketch idea into an SNL movie in that period of time

in the 80s right where you are like it's almost like Pimp My Ride where they wheel in this three minute sketch and then they're like right this is what we got

what can we do and be like well we can chuck some backstory on these characters here you can add a little you know romantic subplot over there put a you know put an allegory for immigration up top

get sinbad in there get sinbad check a couple of sinbad's in and you got yourself a movie and then you slap it on the hood and out they go out rolls out rolls a full on full on movie like it does feel like there must be a a toolkit of, of, uh, script writing. Yeah.

We got a Sinbad max this film. Sorry. Yeah. They did get Sinbad in there. He's, he's, I think Mr. Conehead's, uh, workmate. And he's there, I think when he really, when I think maybe the first time, uh, that the Conehead dad is chewing on a condom and blows a bubble.

It's, So I've not seen cone heads I've also never seen Sinbad I don't know what he is I don't know what a Sinbad is I mean I know that he's a sailor in a in like a Sinbad Yeah I think it's a different Simbad

But yeah that is But I think it is a different Sinbad But I think this Sinbad I only know of his existence From being referenced on maybe some anecdotes On WTO the anecdote when Norm MacDonald is talking about him, about opening for him somewhere,

and he goes to a shop with him, and he's like trying to buy some socks, but there's no shopkeeper. And then he says that night he sees him go out, and he goes, what's with the shopkeepers? What he's trying to buy socks in this town, eh? Ain't no shopkeeper around.

Can't buy no socks. And he's like, I've watched this guy kill this bit about socks. Yes, that's the anecdote. So, I mean, I've so far, so many degrees removed from knowing any the fuck what I'm talking about. Yeah. When it comes to Sinbad being in cone heads.

But you know what? I'm like, I'm slowly building up, like you can't actually detect the Higgs boson. You've just got to detect the things, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, uh, the, uh, the, uh, the, the, uh, the subatomic particles that are created when it breaks down in the large Hadron Collider. You can detect its impacts. Yeah. That's what I'm doing with Sinbad. Okay, I'm going to build up such an accurate picture of Sinbad without ever coming into direct contact with anything, even a picture of him. Yeah.

But, and then after, and this is, this is going to be my meaning in life. After a lifetime of study of the, uh, the ripples in the pond of reality created when you throw a Sinbad stone into that bad boy, I am going to sit down. with pen and paper and I'm going to draw the most beautiful picture of Sinbad you've ever seen that's amazing and I'm going to die

oh my gosh and that will be your meaning that will be your meaning that you will have created everybody's obsessed with final last words what about final last pictures anybody who's got anybody got a famous last doodle

yeah that's right and well I mean there's all the things that you've done final last and by the way final last So true.

You know? Because sometimes you would just say last, but I like final last because you have so many lasts during your last last sip a coffee of the day. Yeah. Famous final last sip of coffee. But you're right. Like as you go towards death, you have lots of last. You'll have your last sunset. last one

you'll have your last sunset oh yeah I thought you said thumb set you'll have your last one of those as well yeah you'll have your last thumb set Andy

you'll have I just wanted to go back to the idea I think that there is a full not just sketch but I think a full series in trying to recreate the 1990s SNL

writer's room as they turn sketches into full-length films and maybe trying to recreate that by taking other sketches from around that time or any sketches I guess throughout history

and turning them into full-length films. I think that's a really fun project. You know, like to have a... Maybe it's a podcast as well. I mean, look, I think It could be a sketch, but like a podcast where you go through every, every, every S&L sketch that didn't make it into a movie.

And you try and work it up into a pitch. And it's called pitch into law. Yeah. I think that's a greater pitch into lawn. Lawn care. Lawn maintenance. Lorne. Lawn.

Wait. Balls. laying on the lawn. Yes, that's it. Picking dog shit off the lawn. Correct. Mowing the lawn, no. Do you think, you know when we were getting...

A pitch is also often a term for lawn. Oh my God. This is great. Mowing a pitch in the lawn. Do you think that... when we were breeding dogs for, uh,

to live alongside us. Yeah. Um, well, we, we, you know, we,

we, we, we selected them for a bunch of things. Okay. Uh, for their friendliness, for their appearance, for their size,

for their loyalty. Could we not have selected them to have less disgusting shit? Like, they could have. We're doing all this other stuff. We've got thousands of years. Yeah. cohabitation of selective breeding would it have killed us to like also only breed the dogs that

just don't have the most disgusting shit that's ever existed? Andy? Andy it would have been it would have been a truly forward thinking thing I guess we just I think we went into dogs we went into the concept of dogs not thinking that we would pick up their shits we couldn't even we couldn't even fathom that we would be following dogs and have anything to do with their shits. I mean, we didn't even have the concept of a plastic bag. That's right. So even the most clear-eyed, far-sighted of ancient futurologists, neanderthal

futurologists couldn't have conceived. It's an emergent phenomenon. Picking up dog shit. To the point, yeah. To the point where 40 years ago, Andy. Only a mere 40 years ago, the term doggy bag was something you would put

delicious food in. Correct. Now nobody, you couldn't invent the term doggy bag for food anymore. Well, I was just talking last night to my beloved about the term bimonthly and how useless it is, because even if you search it up online, it says this is an ambiguous term that could mean

twice a month or once every two months. And I was angry at that. I was saying, well, that makes that word, I mean, why does it even exist at that point? That's right. That's right. But I would hazard that the risks, the consequences of confusing the terms bimonthly and bimonthly are not nearly as dire as the consequences of confusing the terms doggy bag and doggy bag. I think it doesn't bear thinking about. But, yeah, Andy, it's horrible to put ourselves in the situation where, you know, we're today a guy trying to pitch that idea to, I guess, to a big conference of a restaurant conference.

Yeah. And, you know, coming up with terms for the bags that you use to carry away the food. And these days, to the point where it's, it's so poisonous the idea of a doggy bag that these days, I don't even think they, give you your food in a bag. They put it in a plastic container. Isn't it? I mean, we call it a doggy bag, but then we're sort of, we're taking it, usually, I think pretty much all the time, we're taking it home to eat it for ourselves, aren't we? Like, do you think that it exists? People, people were, people started, called it a dolly, doggy bag because they were embarrassed to tell everybody that were going to go home and eat

it themselves. I guess you're right. And, oh, I feed this to my dog. I'm going to go home and feed this to my dog. Yeah. But really, they're scoffing at themselves, like a little disgusting grub that they are. Yeah. What are you typing? What are you typing? What makes you think I'm typing? What makes you think I'm typing? Just the most insanely loud, clickety-clack I've ever heard in my life. I did try to buy a loud keyboard because I do like the sound and feel of them.

I was just trying to write the idea of the titles for shows where we make old SNL sketches into films, but yeah, that's what I was trying to write down. Well, thank you. No problem. And I'm sorry that I called you out like that. No, it's okay. You don't know I'm working on this podcast called Two in the Think Tank at the moment. Trying to secretly make it better while we're doing it.

is there a is there a sketch in pitching to the dictionary guys coming in yeah yeah just got a completely new word yeah

thank you I'm not going to bother even thinking about it no I will I will think about it one I'm just too busy writing it down oh okay I think that

because what's great is that what's great is that you can not just pitch words but you can also pitch things like in the format you know like you can be like you know that thing

like you know that thing where it's like you've got you know how it's pronounced or you've got like by the way they should teach that to more people like that should be taught to people that phonetics thing it's fucking crazy that they're putting that in every single definition and I look at it and I'm just like

do you know that nobody knows this you have to do a university degree before they should they talk to you about any of that? The reason I'm looking up this word is because I don't know stuff. Yeah. And then, like, the first thing you do is you give me the word back in like a language nobody speaks. And also what? We're talking, of course, about the way they write out the phonetic, that special phonetic

version of the pronunciation of a word. And. Where all the phonemes have their own bizarre formulation that does not correspond to anything you've ever seen before. I love the concept of an objective pronunciation that they've managed to do through phonetics. But you know what? There's a part of me that doesn't believe that everybody around the world with all the different

accents all pronounce that stuff the same. But you know what the dictionary people are like. They're very rigid. They love to say this as the way. Because like look at this. Okay, let's here's the one. Here's the phonetic spelling for confer. Okay. K, upside down, backwards, E, N, apostrophe, F, upside down backwards, E, R.

So that O and that E both have the same sound, confer. They don't even sound like they do to me. Yeah, I'm not sure. Con, con, confer, confer. Kin, confer. Confer. Confer. I think they're different

Yeah, I would say Huh He, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, uh, huh, uh, huh, uh, uh, uh, yeah, and then, wait, uh, uh, there's also Conference, okay? Mm, and wait, oh, no, no, there's conferee, and that one, okay, look, look, conference, here's how they spell it in, in the thing, they got it here as K A umlaut N F

upside down backwards E R upside down backwards E and S So the the first

vowel of confer and conference is different Yeah one was an A with an omelout

and one was an upside down Yeah so maybe they want you to say Confer Confer Confer Confer Confer

Confer This is, these guys, this is bullshit. They've gone crazy with it. On whatever this is, they've put that in there to make it seem fancier than it is. Yeah. It's hidden knowledge. You know, it's, um, it's, they're experts protecting their turf and they're saying nobody, don't, don't come for us. We're linguists.

You know, you couldn't do this, whatever it is we do. We know, we know talking. I think that they are, I wonder if there are any words that aren't, that don't fit any of the categories, you know, that aren't like nouns. Have they found any words? Words that have a sound? Aren't nouns or verbs. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Or adjectives or conjunctives. We've got to, are there any words that go at the end of the dictionary that are just like miscellaneous? Yeah, that they don't need, they have to even, they have to leave the regular alphabet ordering system that they use. It can't even, it doesn't even have letters, do you think? There's some that don't have letters. Uncategorized.

Oh, words without letters. I mean, that's exciting. I mean, are there any words that are made up entirely of punctuation? Oh, God. Andy, I genuinely thought for a second that you were either choking or vomiting. I mean, I guess that sounds. That's interesting. down before vomiting.

Like that. Well, it does communicate something. I actually wonder, is vomit, like is, we know the dictionary contains words, but actually maybe the dictionary is, maybe vomit itself is a word. You know, think about it. It comes out of your mouth. It means something.

Yeah. It often makes a sound. It often makes a sound. It goes, it can go into people's ears. You know, it sounds like it should be in the dictionary. And if so, it would be something that you can't describe with letters and maybe doesn't fit into any of the established categories. Think we should...

Try to pitch vomit to the dictionary? See if we can get... Get vomit in the dictionary. Actual, actual vomit. Actual vomit. Not the word vomit. That's already in there. Could that be...

the word of the year next year in the Macquarie Dictionary. Macquarie's word of the of the year this year is actual vomit. Comes out of your math. I think, Andy, I think philosophically they don't have a

leg to stand on to sort of reject our pitch. And I think what would be interesting about is that, like, if you were to try and spell it, it would have no consistent spelling. You know, if you were to vomit into a, at a voice-to-text translator, every vomit would come up with a, be interpreted differently and would come up with a different spelling.

And I think this is another reason to argue that, like, it should be outside of the standard dictionary alphabetical order, if it's spelling is that mutable. I mean, I think it would just be fun to see the, see the phonetics people try to get their little, get their little upside-down ease around that. Yeah, it would be fun to see them in a room with a bunch of vomiting people.

I think you'd have to just put like an umlout over an exclamation point. Oh, oh, over an exclamation. Maybe. Under? You think under? Are there, well, I wonder if there are any umlau, uh, exclamation points with two dots at the bottom, you know? Um, what is it? Oh, yeah. That could be good. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Um, I guess maybe you could have a sort of bigger than symbol. Hmm. Oh, here we go. And then, then maybe have like a dollar sign, a, uh, a percentage sign and maybe an ampersand afterwards.

Yeah, sure. Or it could be like a greater than symbol and then like one dot and then two dots and then sort of three dots all vertically. And it's, you know, it looks like it's sort of spraying out of your mouth. But, you know, this is all just theoretical at the moment. This is all purely theoretical. No, Andy, I don't think that, I don't like when people say that male nipples are useless. They don't have a purpose. I think that they are, they do have, you know, they do have a purpose. I completely agree.

I think, I think if you pinch them, it creates pain. You know, I think if you put your mouth on them, it makes you tingle. makes you feel really funny on the inside. I think that they allow for a protrusion, a texture protrusion through the t-shirt or through any material. Maybe if you're wearing just a cape that wraps around the front. Yeah. They must have an effect on slip and slug. I think so

You know, like I do think a lot about and it's probably one of the main reasons I don't slip and slide more is I think about a story I heard about a kid who was on a slip and slide and the slip and slide had been pegged down with tent pegs

and one of the pegs ripped his nipple off. You know? And so there was pegs inside this, oh like, so this is like a slip and slide one of those ones that are just on lawn. Yeah, on lawn. Like I think homemade, It was probably just a tarp, right?

And it had been pegged down with tent pegs, and he sort of went off the side, and it ripped his nipple off. Okay. This is a story I heard when I was maybe eight, eight, the old deer. I heard it when I was maybe eight years old. And it's fundamentally changed my relationship to slip in slides ever since. And I think probably in that sense, like, nipples exist so that even in our moments of, greatest joy. Yeah.

God can remind us that terrible things happen in the world. Yeah. Think about it. If we didn't have nipples, a slip and slide would just be pure joy, unalloyed joy and delight. And maybe that's something that we are not constitutionally capable of. It might be infinite happiness. And that's the sort of thing that could just explode your brain. Yeah.

I mean, absolutely, yeah, I don't think we're allowed to, we're allowed to feel, to touch those feelings, to touch feelings that good. Yeah, no, I'm in full agree in Sandy, and, you know, you can see why God had a plan. You can see that God had a plan, not why he had a plan. Yeah, it's sort of a guard rail or like an upper limit. It's like clipping in recording audio. We are, we are, we are, we are, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God to clip the, uh, upper limit of George. That's right.

Yeah, yeah. Because there are else fun, life will be distorted to have, if you have too much. There should be places where you can go. Yes. Where it's almost like a prison, right? Yes. In that there's, there's like, you as the guy can go up to the glass and put the phone to your ear. And then women will come to the glass wearing a morph suit. Right?

And they are allowed to sexually harass you. And they have an exit that is far away and they can leave. And then you're actually not allowed out until like, for another hour or whatever. Yeah, interesting. And so they can come in a morph suit. I mean, they can rent a morph suit there. They don't have to bring their own morph suit.

Because then obviously, the guy might try and track down somebody just carrying a morph suit with him. You know what I mean? Yeah, right, that's a dead giveaway. And look, and if they just use that time on the phone to, like, insult you, they just get cut off. There's somebody,

there's somebody who's listening who has the ability to cut off their mind. you know and yeah and it can work the other way too potentially right if people just want to be harassed i worry i worry that the men some of the men going there would be going there for the wrong reasons to get the compliments that they to get yeah or to to you know maybe they get a a thrill out of it you know out of getting complimented and i mean i think that's what it's about That is like it's... Oh, okay.

It is about them getting a thrill out of being complimented, but it's a safe place in that they know they can't do anything with any of these women. Right? They are probably told that the women are lesbians, but they don't necessarily have to be. You know? I think that... You can't tell that through a morph suit.

I think that there needs to be a safe place for women to be able to give compliments to men, but without the guys taking it. it as a hint that they're interested. This is exactly it. This is exactly it. When I think about what I was like as a teenager, right? And how like women, girls talked to me, right, and showed interest in me maybe twice in 12 years, right? and both times it was only brief that they showed you know they were just sort of showed any kind of kindness or like made me feel seen right this is what you can't do if a if a young man feels overlooked you as a woman cannot make him feel seen even for a moment because he will fall in love with you and it will last for years yeah this this was my experience i've i once you

in primary school and once in high school, uh, poor, kind girl made the mistake of making me feel seen for just a couple of seconds and I was done for for half a decade, right? And, uh, and, and as a, I'm a, you just can't do that. You just cannot do that. Do not do that. Do not, do not make these young men feel seed for even a second.

You know what I mean... You are playing with fire. No, but it is nice. Look, I think that maybe it works more, rather than in a physical location, like a, you know, like, like, I mean, obviously it would be perfect for like a place, like an axe throwing place that during the day

when people aren't throwing axes, they could go there. But I think that you could probably just do it as a, like, as a, as an online thing where you go, I'm going to have this person, at the in the compliment booth and you know on this day and send in your voice note compliments that I can play to them and take them through

and it's a place for women to compliment men safe from the fear of that man becoming completely in love with them infatuated with them you know and then and then a guy gets to feel good and women get to feel like they can express something

that they really feel about guys but without having to be like oh shit I'm going to get tracked down and then someone's going to be able to work with me I worry Alastair that what women really feel about guys is not that complimentary a lot of it sure but you know what if it is if it so happens that it is

then this is the system I know well I'm just saying this is just for the compliments Yes, right, there'll be another set up for the other stuff Yeah, I mean, look, we can have it, we can set up a thing for just the insults I guess if guys want to go to a place and just get insulted Yeah What about, it's a podcast where you have

People send in compliments for the person And then in the middle there's one insult Yeah, so you've got to know if you're sending in an insult there's less chance of yours being played because we need more compliments I mean it's worth if you got a really good insult Alastair how about this right

think about weapons right we have turned most cutlery into a weapon there's a weapon version of most cutlery have I already said this brought this up with you let me see let me think about it

knife Knife, we got a sword, right? Fork, we got those sye kind of things. Triedent. Trident, exactly right. Chopstick, we got a spear. And that long stick that they have, a staff. There's no war spoon.

That's true. Right? Nobody has tried to weaponise the spoon. And I think I sort of, there's no scooping weapon. That's right for like, they're all,

I'll scoop your fucking face off. Yeah. And I think that like the military industrial complex, somebody's got to be looking at this because there's obviously something there. It's like it's, there is a one to one correspondence between, um, uh,

cutlery and weapons of war. And if, and if we can't work out this spoon thing, what are we doing? And we know. that there's a need for it because people have resorted to hitting people with a shovel. Right? And so we know that there's a desire for a sort of blunt spoon. To weaponize the spoon. Yeah. There's a desire for spoon weaponization deeply ingrained in humanity. But there's not ever been one specifically made as far as I can tell.

Yeah. And even when you do hit something, the listeners might be. might be things, but you just said it. You're hitting people with a spoon, but really that's not, you know, hitting people with a spade is using a weaponized spoon, but that's really not using the essential spooniness of the spoon. That's right. I think that's more, you know. The back of the shovel. It's like you could be doing that while hitting somebody with a shield.

But now that I think about it, I mean, really the spoon, you do use a shovel to like a dig the grave. That's not a weapon. Maybe for a person you've just killed, but that's not a weapon. Exactly right. And even if they did use the shovel as a weapon, that doesn't mean that it's ever been made as a weapon.

You know, it's like people have been hit with, you know, with rocks, but it doesn't mean that. Yeah, sewing machines. Somebody's had a sewing machine thrown at them, or they've had their arms sewn into a sewing machine in the movie dolly. Oh, you know? Does that happen? Yeah, that was one of the movies that traumatized me when I was a kid, and I saw it.

And I was afraid of dolls for quite a long while. Gross. Oh, that's gross. It's amazing how much my kids talk about wanting to watch something scary. And then as soon as something scary gets put on, they go, They're scared of it. They're scared of it. I just want to watch horror movies.

Okay, let's, how about we just try to watch the Matrix? Oh, that fucking thing going into his belly button! No, I know I'm talking to you where your kids are afraid to watch. Anything, but, uh, anything, but, uh, anything, absolutely anything. Yeah. Um, Alistair. So I take this to three words from a listener. Let's do it.

Let's do it. Andy, we are going to crud. That's possible we did a crud recently, but, uh, and so I apologize for that. I don't, oh, maybe not. Maybe we didn't do a crud. Let's go for the crud. Double. Double. Well, no, it hasn't been a...

Double, double, double crud. Double, double crud. Double, double crud. It's just because my current book that I'm using for the pad, it's... All the pages keep falling out, so I got a lot of loose leaf paper here. Now, crud says,

three words from a listener, who is also Crud from the Discord. An easy guess for Andy this time. Look at that, getting some... having a softball. Yeah, a real long. The three words are as follow. Then there's three dots, and that's not the words, though.

And then there's the three words. I thought you were going to read them out for a second. That's what I like to make it sound like. Yeah, okay, here we go. The first one is button. Oh, I feel like you were close, because I think some of these things are sometimes in the same room at the same time. First word is insect.

Okay. insect based second word is based no Andy karma insect comma

no comma karma insect insect comma police no you

oh you misheard me on the second occasion too because you interpreted it as having your accent oh Calmer. Is it C-A-L-M-A?

No, K-A-M-A. But you've given your answer. It is insect... K-A-M-A. What does that even mean? K-A. This last word is sutra. Fuck.

Insect karma, Sutra. Hello. Yeah. I apologize, crud. That's really great. That's really great. I mean, I think that was a great, that was a great trickery by Crud in many ways. Because by saying it was easy, really set you up to fail.

You know? You were going into it with a, I got this attitude. I mean, if I'd been able to hear that second word, karma, you did hear it. But what it really was. But you misinterpreted it. You tried to shift it to whatever you wanted it to be. Yeah. I could have, I think I feel like I could have got the third one.

But it was a real, a real, real, real, you listen back to the pod, you know, when you're cutting out that thing from earlier, maybe. And you listen to how clearly I'm saying it, comma, comma, you know, you'll see. It might have been your ears, your brain, not wanting to accept what it was hearing, Andy. what about this it's a book called the karma sutra C-A-L-M-E-R Karma Sutra

and it's Karma Kal-M-E-R C-A-L-M-E-R like the word calm and it's the Karma Sutra and it's I guess a book of

positions for you to sort of lie down in on your own with no nobody else around to, I guess, just like listen to a podcast or maybe eat a bar of chocolate on the couch. Well, I do have an episode of Do Go On that I've appeared on that's going to come out in July 8th. And on there, we do talk about a comma sutra from masturbating.

Right. Well, this isn't for that. This is only, this is for almost not doing anything. I think masturbation is too stressful. It's the most stressful of all the basins. Oh, I've got to get, you know. Exactly. Perturbation.

So this one's just for sort of lying around. You know, I've noticed that whenever the people are lying down in the Karma Sutra, there's always someone else there and they seem to have a lot to do. Not in this situation, not in this one, up against a wall. Yeah. Leaning up against the wall. Leading. In a chair.

In the bath. Do it. Yeah, great. Over a pillow. Bent over a pillow. In a sex swing. Doing nothing. Yeah, great.

There we go. Which one, out of all of these, which one do you think is the most, the most stressful word that ends in? Or in front of a fire. Deterbation, disturbation, perturbation, bioturbation,

masturbation, jelly turbation, cryoturbation, imperbation, or gelaturbation. No, congellaturbation. There are so many... Congrella turbation.

There are so many turbations. I had no idea. Do you know what congella turbation is? No. I mean, something about congealing, I suppose. geology, it's the churning and stirring of soil as a result of repeated cycles of freezing and thawing. Oh, yeah, okay. Congela turbation.

Cool. The churn. I feel like jelloturbation sounds more like masturbating than masturbating. Or let's, it's time to switch up the turbations. We're going for a new, new turbation. Every thousand years, the turbations swap definitions. Every 10,000 years. Cryo turbation, that's when you masturbate with a bit of dry ice.

Yes. Alastair, I feel proud of us and happy with what we've produced today. Andy, thank you so much. I feel happy and deeply satisfied. Despite not feeling really in the zone myself personally today, I still felt as though with your help, we together as a group produced one episode of two in the think tank. I agree.

I think in many ways that's what we came here to do. I agree, Andy. I agree. And it was an out of zone. It was an out of zone episode that still hits some successful points. Now, did I write all those points down? don't know. We've got the meaning of life is to find meaning. And that was a simple, that was a, a simple way of just getting, you know, satisfying getting a meaning of life. We have meaning,

meaning, mixing, which is a culture for finding extra meaning, like a new strategy for finding extra meaning and things or adding extra meaning to your life. Yeah. Yeah. I think actually, like there could be a non-toxic meaning maxing, which actually could be a really good thing for the world. Yeah. Like, imagine if you found meaning in everything. Maximum meaning out of every day. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Could be really good? I mean, could you have one example of, like, what that would be, of adding meaning to one thing? You know, like, looking for coincidences. Sure. And giving those meaning. But, like, you know, you know, Yeah, yeah, exactly, you know.

And, but like, you don't have to just do that. Think of all the other things that you could be doing. Smile at a stranger. Help out an ant. I have been, there's, I've been seeing a lot of worms here that escape the grass part onto the footpath and are like rushing towards the road. Yeah, wow. And I've been saving a bunch of worms like that. A mass worm suicide.

Yeah. Yeah. And, rushing. Like literally as fast as a worm could go, I've been seeing them rushing towards the road. And I've been picking them up and throwing them back. Usually it's about on school pickup time, I'm doing it with the kids. I'm like, geez, look at these worms trying to ride onto the road. Ride.

Okay, we've got the churches built for accessibility for in case God comes in. God's accessibility needs have been. taken into account. Yeah. We've got 1990s... Unless of course... Yeah? Unless of course God shows up and he's on crutches or maybe in a wheelchair.

Very often they do not have ramped. Then he's screwed, yeah. But maybe then he can hover. We've got 1990s style... Recreating a 1990-style SNL writer's room where we turned sketches into full-length films. This is a show we've called Get Off. of my lorn or uh or uh you know lorn care mowing a pitch into the lawn uh get off of my lorn pitch um something like that lorne's lawn pitch that doesn't make sense uh not like the others no then we got

then we got pitching to the dictionary new words new formats new uh new types of words and we also part of that we kind of got convincing them that vomit is a word but not the word vomit itself a place where men can compliment men or women can compliment men

with where without fear of being fallen in love with you know it's a you know a safe space for women to compliment men bodily Because that's the thing Is that

Like, you just don't want guys Become unobsessed with you But sometimes you do want to say something nice I think That it could It could It actually could be a successful Place

Yeah, no, it's exciting I mean, I guess the same thing If it happened For men to women I'm, you know, of course you're worried That it's just going to be it's just going to be a deluge of, you know, disgusting sex propositions or whatever. But there's, I think if you remove the part where a guy thinks he might get something out of it,

and I don't know why guys think that by being overtly sexual and aggressively sexual, they think that they're going to get something out of it. But I wonder whether guys would be nicer in an even more anonymous format. Probably not. I mean, is it sort of like with the, you know, the shouting out suggestive things like from a passing car or a building site or something as a woman goes past? Is it an attempt to, you know, realizing that you don't have a lot of time to pass on your compliment? So you decide to pass on the most intense, say the most intense thing you can to maximize the impact. Yeah.

You know, and like maybe. if the women walked past slower or even if we just lowered lowered speed limits for passing cars, you know, down to sort of almost walking pace, maybe the men going past in their cars would have time to have a more meaningful direction. It's the format that's forcing them to say things like that. I worry that it's the constraints of the driving. passing past at an intersection, shouting out the window format that are driving this flight

from nuance that we're experiencing. Social scientists have discovered that in school zones, the things that men yell out from cars are actually much more complementary in a much more welcomed way. Yes. Then we have warspoon. More thoughtful. Yeah, more thoughtful. They've got more timely.

to consider. It moves away from boobs onto personality types, the gate that they walk with, you know? Then of course we have the Worsepoon, and then we have the Kalmer Sutra, which is different positions to do very relaxing things in. Correct. Reading a book,

maybe it's all about positions in which you could read a book. That's right. And drink a cup of tea. Yeah. This is the problem with reading a book is that often you have to like be in an uncomfortable positions, like holding it above your head with your arm. Yeah. Yeah.

You know, it's hard to find a great position to read a book in personally. And... La la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la Um, thank you so much for listening to in the think tank. You're cool. It's cool. you do that is pretty amazing. We appreciate it. A great deal.

A great deal. Not just a great deal, but a good deal. A fantastic deal. This is an unbeatable deal. We're going out of business kind of deal. Liquidation deal. Across the whole range. Thank you.

If you find a better deal, we'll beat it. By 10%. Yeah. How much? 10%. If you find somebody who loves you a greater deal. More than us, we will increase how much we love it by 10%. Yep.

And speaking of love, we love you. Bye. Bye.