Two In The Think Tank - 535 - "A DOG GOT IN THE INTERNET"

Episode Date: July 22, 2026

The Lonely Burp Fetishist, Ads for the Internet, A Dog Has Got into the Internet, We Need a New Thing to Do, Heaven Is Behind the Praywall, Free Lies - The Movie, Oursona Bin Laden, Midas Touch for Brothers, Big Yellow Taxi for American Missile Stocks, Cylindrical Tunnel Hat, Past Tense RappersListen to Alasdair's Bobby Logs Stories for kidsYou can purchase A Listener hats by emailing [e-mail] out the sketch spreadsheet by Will Runt hereAnd visit the Think Tank Institute website:Check out our comics on instagram with Peader Thomas at Pants IllustratedOrder Gustav & Henri from Andy and Pete's very own online shopYou can support the pod by chipping in to our patreon here (thank you!)Join the other TITTT scholars on the TITTT discord server hereHey, why not listen to Al's meditation/comedy podcast ShusherAlasdair Tremblay-Birchall: @alasdairtb and instaAnd you can find us on the Facebook right here(Oh, and we love you) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

N-nan-n-nan-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-ha. Hello and welcome to Two in the Think Tank, the show where we come up with Five-Sketch ideas. I'm Andy. And I am Alistair George E William, Tramblybier, Child. Yes, you aren't. Oh, no, I burped. Sorry. Terrible start. So a lot of the time.

before the podcast, we'll say, save it. Save it for the pod. If you can imagine that we think that the stuff that we say on this podcast is worth saving for the podcast. And, yeah, Alistair had a burp coming. And I said, don't waste that. We need that for the podcast. Don't let those gases leak out.

I mean, I know there are people who fetishize farts. Is there anyone out there fetishizing burps? Must be. At least one. I mean, I think it's a lonely life, though. I reckon there's not even a proper community. I reckon there's not even a proper burp wiki for that guy. You know, he's trying to, he's coming on to the fart fetishists.

It's a sketch about the lonely burp fetishist. They're calling him disgusting. They don't have any to do with him. That's good. Yeah. He's like, he goes to fetish meeting. Is that what you just said? He goes to fetish meetups. No, nobody to chat with. And then he tries to hook up with the fart people. And they're like, yeah, I mean, they're gasses, but it's different thing. Yeah. It's not, it's not naughty. It's just gross. Oh. Maybe he hooks up with the food people, the people who love to eat food, mix food with sex and things like that. that and they're like, oh, yeah.

I mean, you're more of a sort of stomach acid guy. And then he meets somebody else who's only got one fetish as well, and that's that they like to mix washing up with sex. They're the only person who does that. The dishes, doing the dishes? Yeah. Yeah. And then they...

Well, maybe we could join together because we're both things that you do after a meal. Maybe we could get together because we're both, you know, we can make us sort of a amalgamated union and get some representation. And, and then maybe they could have sex with each other and have a big meal. Lots of pots and pans. Yes. You know, something very gassy. I can't, I can't hear you burping over the washing,

the clattering of those bloody pots and pants. And I can't enjoy the smell of the soap with the smell of sort of partially digested. I imagine they're shouting this while absolutely going at each other, Haber and dogs. They're like angry or this is the sex? This is the sex. They are absolutely throwing it down. Yeah, that's hot.

It is. It's hot. But not to them. Not to them, though. To them. To most people, this would be some of the best sex they have. ever had. Yeah.

But to them, it's so disappointing. Yeah. Oh, the lonely, the lonely burp and washing up fetishists. Mm-hmm. Fetishists. Fetishists. Fetishistas. Alistair, the internet, the internet,

imagine if there were ads for the internet. Imagine if maybe there was some sort of, maybe in the future we sort of like we get off the internet. because it is just so bad. And then there has to be like a sort of a campaign to try and get people back on the internet. And it's sort of, you know, like, remember the internet. And maybe it's sort of almost like travel posters, I guess,

travel campaign to like go on the internet. Yeah, I mean, I would love all the stuff that we've discovered on the internet. You know, like making memes and making little jokes at each other at maybe the, you know, the popular, famous people, things like that. And, you know, the community thing. Yeah. And if we brought that offline, you know, maybe we could make little jokes at each other. Yeah. That's really great.

Make little jokes at each other. Yeah. You know. Make funny pictures. Make little images and show them to each other. Yeah. Yeah. That would be great?

I mean, wouldn't that be cool to just like take a little, maybe a little, like, a piece of brown paper and a paint stick and draw some kind of image that skewers a local politician? Maybe we could call it the outer net. Oh, that's good. I mean, maybe that's a good way of getting people offline. could be yep come up with a name for it that is the sort of leverages all that great IP of the internet and you're like it's like the internet but there's it's real it's like it's like you know you love pictures of dogs you're going to

love dogs that's where the pictures come from cats yeah that's it's where the That'd be... It's where the photos come from. And then in order to counteract this, the internet people, the sort of the billionaires, I guess, they figure out a way to get a dog into the internet. A actual dog. Oh, imagine if a dog got into the internet. That would cause chaos.

That would be chaotic, yeah. Sort of pulling on the web, biting the web pages. Yeah, running all over the place. Shitting and pissing on things. Pissing in the optical fiber. There's a dog in the internet. And our top headlines today, a dog has got into the internet. I like that way.

Somebody left the door in a server rack open, an Amazon Web Services Data Center. A lot of people are browsing now, some web pages in the hopes of, encountering the dog and finding the dog. People are going through all the pages of Amazon, see if maybe he's in there. That'd be cool.

You surf to different pages and at some point he's just there. And then like, you know, somebody decides to put a gun into the internet to try and shoot the dog. People are outraged. And of course, now there's a gun in the internet and then the dog gets the gun. Oh, no.

Now the dog and the internet has a gun And in your mind is the dog able to shoot out through the screen at the people? We don't know. We don't know. It's very much like the threat of AI. We're not sure what the consequences are going to be of this internet. Of this thing taking over the internet. We can only hope that the dog has our best interests at heart.

And the people who did have tried to put a man into the internet with a gun to get, to find and kill the dog, but he wasn't able to get in, but his gun was. And the dog now has two guns. The dog has two guns and is covering the entrance to the internet from behind a stack of, magazines. Yes. We also put those in there. He put those in there. For some reason.

He knocked them in there. Oh, we accidentally had, we had a big stack of magazines stacked up near the entrance. We were going to get rid of those, we promise. Yeah, but

the dog got them. Andy, um, let's see. Andy, come on, man. Hey man. Hey there. Hey, hey there.

I think we need a new thing. I think we need it like a, you know, we've got eating, we've got reproducing, we've got going outside. Yes. And we've got spending time with our family. And there's dancing as well, drinking and dancing. Yeah. And then there's going to work. But then apart from that...

That's it. It's pretty much it. I mean, when people say, is this all there is? That's what they're talking about. Yeah. Then there's various things where you can hit a ball in competition with another person. And then there's harder drugs, but those are just like a sort of hyper-alcohol, you know? Yeah, they're just...

Heroin is really just super beer, you know, in a way. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Mushrooms are just funny beer. Yeah. So, yeah, we do need something. you know, maybe if people, because people are always like, oh, there must be something more and the thing they always go to is like heaven or something like that. But what if they were like, there must be something more and we go like, there is, we invented, you know, tying your hair up into a big rope and then swinging off it, you know, by the top of your head. Yeah, that would be good.

I think that if every single one of your hair is. I knew there must be more. But I think if, yeah, I think if every one of your hair. your hairs was being like attached and you were being dangled from all of them i think that it'd be able to support you and that it'd be fine surely yeah i mean actually i do feel that like those people who would hang themselves from hooks through their skin were kind of trying to invent another thing yeah that's true but they had a really good crack at it yeah and they got really close they did but it's not that far from just sitting sitting on a like uh

you know, like a chairlift, you know? Yeah, and it's just a bit too weird. Like we wanted something new that we hadn't seen before, but like maybe not that new. Because it really is just a subcategory of waiting, which is a subcategory of doing nothing. Mm, mm. And the skin is so,

and it's crazy how flexible the skin is. Did you, was that one of your impressions? That was one of what I, I mean, not just flexible, but, you know, strong, thick and strong. Yeah. You know? Yeah, I was amazed by that, but they were definitely close.

But I did, I want to pick up on the thing that you said before because it's like, there must be something more, right? And then people think, oh, and that's what I would be, you know, going to heaven and things like that. But once you get to heaven, what are you doing? That's the thing. because you're just back to the same problem. It's like getting married. You only really do it once.

Yes. And so then it's like, well, all right, now you're just back to having the same old problems of, what do you guys do together? Yeah. You know? And so... I thought, you know,

I thought being married would be like going to a higher level and there'd be different... New things to do. Different things like in a video game, you know? Like a bigger monkey. There was that. for, you know, and that's what the church was basically trying to do, just trying to hold back sex so that there was like one new thing that you had.

That's true, of course. That's like a premium model. Yeah. It's exclusive, get exclusive access to six. Yeah, exactly. But then, so yeah, but now it's like going to heaven. It's going to be back to just doing the St. Eagle. We're going to be back caught with ball sports, going to work, going dancing, having a bee.

and spending time with your family. Now that, because they put, now all the church has is heaven, right? Now that sex is sort of in the public domain, they've got heaven, heaven's behind a pray wall, by the way. That's the, that's what you've got to do. Oh, pray wall. Yeah, that's good. It's like a subscription sort of thing. But I imagine.

You needed to turn subscription into something as well. I think, subscription. Yeah, yeah. Sure. That's a note. That's the note that says, that's the note that says it's a, it's a, behind a pray wall.

That's the note and that's a subscripture. Great. That's the fine, that's the fine print of, the Bible, the footnotes. But I think, maybe, you know, as, as church attendance goes down, right, maybe they're going to have to change their model. And maybe even heaven won't be behind the paywall anymore.

You know, behind the pray wall. You'll be able to get into heaven sort of, you don't have to do anything. They'll just be like, yeah, okay, now you can have heaven for free as well. And, but just like, once you get to heaven, we'll show you ads or something like that. You know, God will. Yeah. Because there's not enough followers now for God. Yeah. He just needs to get, he just needs people in heaven.

Exactly. And then, you know, he's losing the, losing the game. Yeah. It's like a news website where they were like, well, we're going to charge for articles. And then just like, well, everyone's like, well, I just won't, I won't, just won't know anything about the world. I'll just read these other websites where they just put lies on them. Yeah, they put lies on them, but it's free. Free lies.

Yeah. Yeah. Free lies is a great title for something. It is a really good title for something. Can we reverse engineer? Free lies. What the movie would be or the story would be based on free lies? Well, I keep going back to true lies, obviously.

But that's not what this is. Where she puts water in her hair and then becomes and then becomes instantly attractive to her. husband again. She's no longer just a regular suburban wife. Dry hair wife. Yeah, regular dry hair wife. I mean, this is just another data point, and my James Cameron makes movies that are good because they contain wetness.

It's all about the strategic deployment of, of, slop of water of hydration he's a master of it yeah um have we discussed that before i think it feels yeah we have discussed it before i think it was uh it might have been a i guess whatever it's not a rant but it was uh it was it was an angle i've been i was i was i was pulling I've had to turn over one of the photos of my child's. No, not a photo as sort of a drawing that my child gave me and that I put in my office here because I was starting to look at it

and see Osama bin Laden in it too much. Like the way that I look at it, I could just see, I don't know, it just seemed like it was a shape of Osama bin Laden's sort of eyebrows and beard and mustache. And so I've had to flip it upside down to kind of make it a bit more abstract. I mean, this is a great idea for a movie, honestly, because we've had enough movies where like a child is born and it turns out that they're the son of the devil.

Yeah. But what if you have a child and it turned and they're the reincarnation of Osama bin Laden? Okay. Yeah. They come out and like, you're starting to suspect things, you know, from an early age. The signs are there. They keep, I don't know, I guess, crushing their toy planes into things.

And they have an enormous beard. There's your infant child. I mean, I like the idea that while you're feeding your kid and he goes, here comes the airplane. Oh, wow. Oh, that's incredible, Alastair. Yeah. They just don't open their mouth.

It hits their face. Or they grab the spoon in mid-air and redirect it to knock over the salt and pepper shakers on the table. Yeah. I think my kid is the reincarnation of Osama bin Laden. And then what happens? Does seal Team 6 come and kill your child? I think just seeing your kid sitting on the ground in that same way that Osama would in those videos as well. He loved to sit on the ground.

Can we just agree on that? Yeah. That guy loved it. Yeah. I mean, that, you know, I mean, that, I mean, that is a, that is a trait. That is a trait to have. crisscross applesauce

hands on his lap wearing a little Casio watch Was he a Cassio guy? I don't know if it's Cassio but it looks Cassio I can't zoom in enough Yeah I can't quite zoom in enough But

Yeah I mean look You know it's hard It's hard You know He Have you ever read why he was angry with America.

What? What do you mean? Like, you know, the negative things that he says that America was doing, it's hard to not go like, he's kind of right. They weren't. You know, he go,

you know, some of these points, look, I don't, I have no idea. I have no idea, you know, whether or no. But I guess, you know, the deeper that we are into these kind of, these sort of wars in the Middle East and, you know, some of the horrible things that are happening there, yeah, you do kind of end up in a position of, you know, as they have in that Mitchell and Webb sketch. Yes, yes. Are we the baddies? Wait, are we the baddies? It's hard to believe they're getting everything, right? That's for sure.

Yeah. I mean, when there's also so many people, you know, when it seems like they went into Iraq only to benefit sort of cheney financially. And now they're in Iran and they're just like, and we, just to be clear, we are doing this to get the oil. I mean, it seems like they're almost only doing it for absolutely nothing. Sure. I don't even think there is. Like, now they're just like, we got to hurt them. You know, now it's like we're just trying to take away their ability to hurt us back because they're hurting us so much.

But also, at the moment it's funny because I don't know why it's been so public how low their reserves of missiles. are. The U.S.? Yeah. Really? The U.S. is running low on missiles. The U.S. has degraded its, like, missile stock to an extremely low level, apparently. And then they went back in again in the last, you know, nine days or whatever like that.

And so, anyway. And it's something that they've been saying, like, it's going to take, like, three years to replenish. Wow. I mean, you know, you think something's there forever. You know, you don't know what you've got till it's gone. That's right. That's what I always thought about America's missile stock. Yeah.

Oh, you know, this evening ago until your missile stock is blown up. Really low. Really low. You blew up paradise. And the paradise was having lots of missiles. I miss my missiles I'll miss my missiles I'll miss my missiles soon

I know missile stock is low oh no my missile stock is low I had the but I let them go You had the what? I had them but I let them go We're very good at this Alistair We're very good I had them all, but I let them out go.

I used all twice to fill up. That's good. That's poetry. You know, sometimes you do have to break those little rules. And if you're in control, I've discovered that, like, if you're in control of the emphasis of a sentence, you get away with a lot, you know. You can make that second occurrence of a word sort of sound almost like. a call back to the first one. If you then give it as written word to somebody and ask them to read it,

they're going to fuck it up every single time. Because they don't know what you know. And that's what grammar is, I think, for, it's sort of like to make it foolproof, make language full proof. And I, you know, like once you put something down in the written word and you've got to give it to somebody else and they're going to read it out, you've got to have rules so they know how to read it out. When it was back in the oral tradition, I bet you could do anything.

Anything you bloody wanted. Anything you bloody wanted. I mean, it would have been so nice. I imagine that nobody can interpret your work back in those days, you know, because they probably can't remember it. Because it's not written down. How good is that? That'd be like now, nobody interpreting my work. Yeah.

I imagine that freedom. Yeah, brother. Yeah, brother. What about this, right? When you call somebody brother, they become your brother. Oh, that's... It's like you've got the... That's a superpower.

It's like the Midas touch. Right? But everybody you touch turns into your brother. Yeah. And it reshapes the past. Whoa. It reshapes the past so that everything you touch... Yeah.

becomes for real your brother. This is a great movie idea. Family trees are sort of twisting and turning and writhing on the page. Imagine that you touch your mum. Oh, now. Brother mum. She becomes your brother. Right?

And then I guess a new mom gets created. Yeah. you know a brother mother she's my brother mother yeah mom's just one of the boys yeah another oh a mother from another brother mother i mean a brother mother from another mother a mother who's another brother oh man might as touch but turning people into brothers that's a good idea that i want you to know that i am saying that with absolutely genuineness sincerity

I felt that L that makes my brain feel so good at thinking about the possibilities of it now yeah I mean does it change say you know you say you touch a woman or

I mean can you touch an object can anything become a brother doesn't that seems like it's stretching yeah I mean that seems that does seem hard. That does seem really hard. It could just be anybody you touch. So you touch your mother and does

she become a man now in order to be a brother? I think so, yeah. I think she becomes a man. Or does the definition of brother change? No, but if the definition of brother changes then it's all meaningless, isn't it? That's right, Andy. Yeah, if the definition of, and but in the

movie, it'll be the woman actress playing the brother and the male brother. right. Nice. And then that's fun. Mm-hmm. And I mean, yeah, it'll be mother.

Because then the title can be something like brother from another mother, you know. Or brother from another brother. Do you think maybe the... And then they could do a sort of like a race switch. I think you could just call it another brother. Yeah, right? Sure, another brother is great, Andy. Another brother.

Would you, the race switching thing? I mean, I don't know that you necessarily need to. No, I don't need to do the race switching thing. I was just, that was, I was just trying to make a joke about the idea of the, taking the word brother. Oh, sure. And then it's just, but then it's like, we do have to take that back, don't we?

We have to take that back. Take back saying it. Yeah. That anytime, every time everybody you touch turns into a black guy is not okay. No. Yeah. And so I want to say that I apologize for saying that.

And it was a definite mistake. By the way, before it's the end of the episode, I want to promote that I've released my Bobby Logg Stories podcast. Alistair. And maybe it was not a good time to promote this right after my apologizing for our mistake. No, I think another brother,

sorry, I think Bobby Loggs is going to be big. I think it's going to be real big. I haven't listened to it with my children yet, but I cannot wait. That's okay. It's going to be good. There was only really one episode released, and now I've just finished recording

and sort of editing the second episode, and so it's about to be released. Yeah, great. So you did tell me that you wanted to have a backlog of Bobby Log. Yeah, a Bobby Backlog, and then you decided not to do that. And it did not manifest, I think, leading into just for laughs and a few things like that and just knowing what I'm like. Are you blowing up right now? I am not blowing up right now.

You got a bit of heat behind you right now? I don't think so. I don't think so. I think that there's some lukewarmness. Yes. But I think... Because you were hosting lineups? I hosted a couple of shows where people were recording sets.

Hmm. And it went good. And I also did one show as well that was just part of the Montreal series at the Just for Laughs Festival. Did your set get recorded? No, but I had mine set My set recorded last year And I also had a set recorded earlier this year As part of the new wave thing

As part of CBC that will be released at some point Oh man Yeah, I think I think there's a That's getting announced when it's coming out Maybe like next month Release Alice is sets type Download Download my kid

Kids, silly kids story podcast, Bobby Logg Stories, which is silly and doesn't have any of the rudeness that we have in this podcast, which is for adults. To In the Think Tank is for adults. Bobby Log Stories is for children. Does mention butts. Oh. And in the second episode, my child, oh, my children are in it, but, you know, they're not really my children. I haven't. They're not like the dog that got into the internet.

My children are outside of the podcast, but also their names and a very, like a variation of their character is in the podcast. And one of my children stands in a toilet in one of the, in the second episode. Okay. Well, thank you for that content warning. No problem. I'm very content. Do you want to try and guess what the, what the name of the second episode is? The first episode is called The Stump. Okay. Do you want to try and guess what the second episode is called? Underwater lasagna.

Very good guess. No, it's The bouquet. The bouquet. Yeah. The bouquet. Alistair, I mean, speaking of bouquets, remember that woman who had fruit on her hat? Was that Carmen Randa?

She had fruit. on her hat? Carmen Miranda. She was a performer of some kind. And in my mind, there's fruit on her hat. Oh, yeah, I mean, yeah, there's definitely, yeah, Carmen Miranda has fruit on her hat. I can absolutely guarantee that fruit on her hat,

fruit on her hat in the song, Chica, Chica Boom chick, or Chica, Chica Boom Chic. Is that what you're talking about? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, this, I'm really sad that didn't catch on. Yeah, and I... I think it's so heavy you need neck strength.

I really admire her for doing that, for doing something different, you know? Yeah, because she looks like she's got some, there's like some, it's implied that there's some banana in there. Yeah, I mean, that's definitely what I picture. Yeah. but and then some of the ones that you see there's like you know there's little sort of grape size things but maybe they're light cheese maybe they're cherries I'm not sure some of them it's hard to see exactly what they are there's definitely a cherries I think there might be a light chee in there you know and that's good you need light cheese because you need things like that that are a pretty

light fruit yes sure that are also like I think they come on a twig you know and that's got solidness you don't want too much bouncing on that head there'd be some structural integrity there because that banana that's going to be hard to make that stick around yeah yeah i don't know if she's balancing at all or whether it's glue but are you does it inspire something in you andy i mean it makes me think that like you know like the cambrian um explosion where like there were all these evolutionary um paths you know suddenly there were so many different varieties of life as we explored with this whole idea of, you know, multicellular organisms. And they did, and evolution was just throwing stuff at the wall, okay?

And then so many of those options didn't, didn't progress, didn't make it. Yeah. But, uh, I, I, I, I, I love the ambition. And I think that like, you know, I feel like, camaranda, fruit on the hat. it's a similar kind of like world. It's a similar kind of what if, you know, what if we'd all got on board with the fruit hat. Yeah.

And so then looking at what would have happened, vegetable hat, meat meat hat, cereals hat, full roast hat, cake hat. Oh, like a full Sunday roast hat. Sunday roast hat. But then I guess it brings in, it allows.

us to take, to connect sort of cooking and recipes with head gear. And then suddenly you've got, you know, just there's, yeah, a paella hat, you know, croissant hat. Yeah.

And I don't just mean just putting the food on the hat. No. Because I think that's just the first basic step. Suddenly, eventually the hat could just be shaped like the food. Exactly. Think about a hat that's like, you know, that's shaped like a sushi roll. Yeah.

You know, like, is there any cylindrical hat that you wear forward, forward and backwards? You know, the cylinder? Put your head into a hole in the, in the cylinder? As it happens, crazy, you mentioned this, we have. a weird at work we have a weird log yeah it's like a it's a it's a it's a it's a it's a it's a it's a it's a it's a it's a it's a little coffee table a tiny little sort of end table right for a couch or something but it has a big hole in the middle and matt discovered that it fitted perfectly over his head and i'm like this is a fucking high risk procedure putting this thing on your head because if you can if you

can't get that off yeah that's going to be a real disaster but it fits perfectly on his head and when he wears it and he does he wear and he wears it often this is my boss uh he looks like a giant fucking mallet and it's it's very it's very very funny but and but it's a full log it's a full log yeah it's an actual lump of log but with like a perfectly head-sized hole is going through the middle is his head visible through the log or is he No, his head is not visible. Okay. He's completely concealed by the log.

And can he see out in any way? No. No, but your one, okay, I think if it's a cylinder, okay, that could really work. Yeah. Okay, you can see out the front and you can get beautiful breeze in the back. It stops above your ears. I think the ears is what stops it from single ears. any further or at least the depth of the of the cylinder no for me the whole your

whole head is inside the cylinder oh right and you look out the end of the cylinder oh that's interesting I think that's like a focus hat could be a focus hat yeah could be a you know like like tunnel vision it could be a tunnel oh yeah basically cylinder tunnel hat cylinder tunnel hat um and and and and and and and and and and And it's an ad for it. And it's a person who's talking about how they've invented the cylinder tunnel hat. And name in the comments what you think you could do with this hat because he can't figure it out. But that's the great thing about this Hat Cambrium explosion we're going to have.

There's going to be so many new types of hats and some of them are going to be great. We've just looked at one fruit hat. and you may have not even looked at it. You might have just heard me describe the hat. Yeah, I've just... And look at the creativity that came out of that. Imagine what would happen if we brought a fruit hat out into the world. And let everybody sort of...

There were only 12 people. There were only 12 people who saw that fruit hat. But all of them went off and became hat-mikers. Invented a hat. Became melanas. Become I milliners. Who wants to be a milliner? Yes.

It's my... Do you think that already exists? It's my competitive game show for hatmaking. If it doesn't exist, that's fucking crazy. Let's... I mean, there's shows for everything. You know, Seth Rogan's got that pottery show. Why not for millinery?

Yes, I mean, look, somebody made 11 months ago a Reddit post. called Who Wants to Be a Milliner? Game show called Who Wants to Be a Militer? Damn. Slash Crazy Ideas. And then three days ago in R slash crazy ideas, somebody said, Who Wants to Be a Milliner as well? There's a great cycle to the universe every seven months.

And then also three days later, somebody comes up with this idea. Yeah. There's a Facebook page with 1.2,000 followers. Who wants to be a milliner? Is the name of a Facebook? That's a group. That's a Facebook book. Might not be a group.

Could be a page. A distinction that was so important that they had to make. Hmm. Yeah, I still don't understand what that is. Yeah. Consolidate pages and groups, guys. Come on, guys. We don't need this right now.

We don't need this extra confusion. Yeah. People are struggling. People are... People are out there. Society's falling apart. And you're responsible. Not because of all the disinformation and stuff.

It's because of this thing. Well, the world is falling up. The world's falling apart and your answer is to keep pages and groups separate on Facebook? Mm-hmm. For shame. Combine them. Make a poop. Combine them.

Make a poop. It's a page group. Oh yes, of course. Andy, I'm so sorry for not getting that immediately. Alistair, I'm so sorry. I haven't said anything good for probably the last 25 minutes of this podcast. And I reckon that's probably only how long we've been going. We can start wrapping it up.

Finally. We got three words from a listener. Is that what you would like to do? Yes, please Well, today's listener, Andy, who supports us on Patreon Hey, send through some three words from a listener onto Patreon Oh, yes And today's

Supporter is Smellosaurus Sourius Smellosaurus Smyllis Sourius. I mean Sourius, Saurius, I don't know how to Oh yeah, smellosaurius of course. Smellosaurus.

Okay, Smellosaurus has sent in three words from a listener. Would you like to try to guess what the first one is? Yeah, Randy. Oh, no. The first word is will. Will. Okay, second word. I.

A huge mistake, but right on target in terms of where you're supposed to be. He Will he Oh my goodness Will he Am Will he Was

Will he Was I'll go Was Andy again You're right on target In terms of the motif Will he has

Will he has Will he has I can't believe I really sort of got the gimmick just off Will but you know you might think I only had one data point

but I actually in truth I had two data points because I knew there were going to be three words and when you're like for going for like a three word thing starting with will that's not a lot you can do you had the data point

will and you had the data point of all the context yes will yam second word could have been yam sure but I think you should feel good no wait I

I have got it wrong what I've just checked double check the thing I wrote down the wrong thing the real The real answer is will he was.

Man. That's the first one where I've got one wrong. Yeah. I didn't even know that this was a possibility, and you better believe that from now on, every single time I'm going to be sending it up to the VAR. I'm going to ask for a review of the decision from the stewards. Yeah.

Incredible. Will he was. Oh, I mean, that's what his name is going to be when he's dead. Yeah, I suppose so. And it in a way challenges us to come up with a past tense version of all rappers. I mean... Okay. Eminem.

Eminem. Isn't. I mean, I think just putting a tombstone that is just... Then he was. It's true. Is a funny little meme. I mean, if he dies, you're going to be, you are going to be ready, Al. If.

I'm saying if, because we don't know. No will I am has ever died before. As far as we know. Yeah. Yeah. Except for Will I am Blake. That's true. But that's the only one.

That's the only one, yeah. Past tense, easy E. Easy. RIP? The notorious RIP would definitely work. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I guess I was going to say DIG, but that doesn't quite make sense.

that's D-I-G-A-G-R-A-V-E Yeah, great I think we can all agree that this is both easy and fun Wait, wait, rapper names Let me just see Oh God

Wait, I'll find, I gotta find one good one Undertaker Dre Uh, no, uh, forensic forensic pathologist Drey. This is now just... There's NAS and then they're Nazant. Yeah, WAAS. That's WAAS, surely.

Oh yeah, Waz. Oh, yeah, of course. Two dead Shakur. Okay, wait. Andre... 3,000 leagues under the ground. Yeah. Pronounced dead by Dr. Dre.

Yeah, yeah. Andy, this is really hard. It's really hard. It's really hard. I mean... Yeah. Smell is serious. You took the easiest...

You hog. You took the lowest-hanging fruit. You... You scoffed it all for yourself and you left nothing for us. Yeah, 50. All the other fruit is hanging so high. Method Dead Man? Yeah.

Method corpse. Yeah, method corpse. That's better. That is better. Jay, oh, Jay Cold. Jay, what was that? He's Jay Cole. I've never heard of Jay Cole, but well done.

I mean, LL. Cold J, I suppose. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Was he a rapper, LL.Col, J? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Because he also did sing a bit, didn't he? Did he? Yeah, I think it might have been in a bit of R&B kind of stuff, but it was the 90s, you know?

Everything was possible. Who were the people who are best at doing both, who can sort of sing, And rap. Good. Lauren Hill? Maybe. Yeah, Lauren Hill, absolutely.

And what's your new? Lauren, Lauren over the hill, we call her. Oh, yeah. Because we think she's lost any of her talent or ability. Lizzo.

Lizzo's also a rapper. Yes, that's true. I mean, she definitely says that she's rapping. So. Yeah. And we have to believe her. We have to believe her. the truth. Yeah.

And she can toot on a flute. That's right. One of the best places to toot when you can get it. Yeah. I saw a guy

playing a bass trumpet the other day. And it was great. No, just a real. But he was talking about how nobody

needs a bass trumpet player. And he's had like in his life he's had like two jobs of a play the bass trumpet and he thinks he might be the only person

whose bass trumpet has paid for itself with those two gigs that's not too bad it must have been a cheap bass trumpet performing I think it was on songs no recordings or whatever but he yeah but it sounded so good

I was like every song should have a bass trumpet yeah I mean I love it way better than the regular trumpet. Yeah? Yeah. Is it basically just like a trombone, or is it better than a trombone? He says apparently a lot of the bass trumpet players are trombone players.

Yeah. Because you've got to have other... You've got to have other stuff that you can do. Yeah. Other toots, other flutes you can toot. But, yeah, you know, basically, you guys can go and watch the reel for yourself. So you don't need me to describe badly. No, but we needed you.

We needed you to let us know that this even existed. So you've opened up everybody's minds. Thanks, man. Andy, I'll take us through the sketch ideas for today. Okay, great. That was our past tense of rappers, of other rappers, was the idea? Past tense of rappers, yeah. Oh, really good, really good.

RIPAs, we're going to call them. Rippers. But I think, I think, I think that there's enough there that we could really start working on it. You know, like we could really, you could get a good list up on a reel. Yeah, great.

All right. We got the lonely burp fetishist. Yep. And his failed partnership with the washing up fetishist. Fetishist. Yeah. We've got the ads.

for getting people back onto the internet. That was, you know, we got the dog has got into the internet. Yeah, great. We got, we need a new thing to do. Great. Yeah, we got, heaven is behind the prey wall. Yep.

Oh, we didn't really come up with anything that was free lies, the movie. I wonder what it is. Yeah, I mean, I would like, you know, you could just stand on a street, corner handing out little pieces of paper saying free lies, free lies. And, uh, I mean, bloody hell then you'd be a newspaper salesman these days, wouldn't you? Yeah, that'd be right.

That'd be right. But they'd sell them on the, on the street, really. Um, but they used to. Yeah, they used to. They used to give out that Metro one, um, that would have been free. Yeah. Uh, that's true. How was fun.

I liked that. Yeah. You know? You know? I liked that too. It was just nonsense. It's just bullshit. I know.

I still think. Like, that's something we could do. And they literally had a column in that newspaper called Doom and Gloom. And it was literally just the actual world news. But they put that on the, at the top of the column. Yeah, right. That's cool. Great stuff, guys.

Somebody's son is the reincarnation of Osama bin Laden. Yes. We've got the, we got big yellow taxi about American missile stocks being low. Yep. we've got we've got Midas yeah yeah

we got Midas touch but every thing you touch becomes your brother called another from the movie called another brother yeah

we got cylinder tunnel hat which is a result of the hat Cambrian explosion from that fruit hat and we've got the past tense

of rappers and And yeah, we did it. We did it. Ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding little little ding ding ding ding ding ding. Thank you so much. Alistair, let's try and record the next episode at a time when it's a better time and my brain is switched on.

Sure. I mean, I feel like you were pretty on. Oh, I feel like the last two episodes I've just been sort of in it. in a fucking cloud, in a haze. I mean, we've had people say that our last episode was really philosophical. Yeah, I hate that. Actually, I would love. I would love to be a philosopher.

You know, I think something people don't talk about, right? Yeah. Is this fear. This is a fear that holds me back from expressing my true, anything that feels like a philosophical thought, except in as in a joke. Yeah. And it's the fear that you will tell somebody what you think is your deepest thought.

Yeah. And they will tell you that's actually really shallow or that's obvious or stupid. You know? Yeah. You'd be like, here's a thought I'm really proud of and something that I think is really deep. That's as deep as I can go. And they'll be like, boy, you haven't even. dipped your toe in the water and then you're just left with the knowledge that uh you've got nothing

to offer and i think uh you know and and as an adult you got nowhere to go like as a kid you're like well i've still got time to learn stuff you know i can go deeper but i feel like at this point this is i can't i'm not i'm not going any deeper this is as deep as i'm yeah you know what i you know what i hate that's in that style is when somebody, like, you know, they go, oh, they've discovered that, you know, like, you know, physicists, the Nobel Prize was for that, you know, reality is not locally real or whatever like that.

And then somebody will say like, well, Buddhists knew that 2,500 years ago. And you go, shut the fuck up. Right? I came up with the idea of, you know, I don't know, converting a triangle for the stage or whatever. adapting a triangle for the stage doesn't mean that I actually went through the work to do it.

It's like anybody can come up with a concept. You gotta actually nobody should think that the thoughts that they have whilst looking deep into their own mind should be truer than any other thought. Right. You got to go through the scientific process

and actually figure something out and show and make predictions and all that kind of shit. Right? But I tell you what, There is probably a sketch in the department of claiming Buddhists came up with things thousands of years ago. Whatever.

Like we could have a whole scientific journal called Buddhists already did it. And we republish scientific papers, but we just put at the start of every single article in a development that Buddhists actually came up with 2,000 years ago, scientists at MIT have discovered the wave particle duality in Bose Einstein condensates. Yeah, see, that's good. I've written it down, and he's a sketch idea. Yes.

We're not even in the sketch idea part of the show now. Mm-hmm. This is entering into it. It's called Buddhist jacking, and it reversed, yeah. bud jacking yeah karma jacking karma jacking

karma jacking is a concept I don't know what it is but that's worth exploring yeah Andy everybody should go at least

download all the episodes of Bobby Loggs stories and and give it a rating at this stage ratings would really matter now

look you could listen to it and make a judgment on how much you like it and then give it a rating or you could give it a rating that would be beneficial yeah and while you're rating it right to in the think tank i'm not saying oh my gosh yeah but make sure you rate bobby logs first because that could make a real difference to a young podcast like that yeah you'll you'll be there you'll be there doing it you may

as well do the other one while you're there anyway thank you so much everybody and we love you greatly. We love you. Bye. Someone's already given it a five-star rating on Bobby Logs. I mean on Spotify. That's nice. Bye.