Two In The Think Tank - 546 - "NUT PUNCH ZOMBIES"

Episode Date: October 6, 2026

Whiplash Rodeo Sterilisation, Air Pressure Thieves, EpiPen Inflator, Bullet Sniper Inflators, Anaphylaxis Basketball, Ball Punch Zombies, Surfing on a Body Surfer, Body Part Sacrifice, The Origins of Sacrifice, Druids VS Salary SacrificeListen to Alasdair's Bobby Logs Stories for kidsYou can purchase A Listener hats by emailing [e-mail] out the sketch spreadsheet by Will Runt hereAnd visit the Think Tank Institute website:Check out our comics on instagram with Peader Thomas at Pants IllustratedOrder Gustav & Henri from Andy and Pete's very own online shopYou can support the pod by chipping in to our patreon here (thank you!)Join the other TITTT scholars on the TITTT discord server hereHey, why not listen to Al's meditation/comedy podcast ShusherAlasdair Tremblay-Birchall: @alasdairtb and instaAnd you can find us on the Facebook right here(Oh, and we love you) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello and welcome to two in the thing tank, the show where we come up with five sketch ideas. Ideas. I'm Andy. And I'm Alistair George William Trumbly, Birchall. Good day to you and you and you and you. Alistair. Andrew. You know how like people say to, and full disclosure, this is something I was thinking about in the run up to the podcast.

Oh, so there's an off-pot? Is this while we were having a conversation, this is something else you were thinking about while we were talking? This is formulating. This is formulating. This is percolating, right? Okay. The percolator.

The, this is something I percolater earlier. Perculator. Perculator. Perculator. People who say to people, you know, people, there are some people who don't have kids, which is not to have kids. And other people will say, I won't you be lonely when you get old. Aren't you worried about being lonely when you get old?

And it occurs to me that that is such a person with kids thing to say. Because when you have kids... You don't hang out with anybody. You don't have any other friends. Yeah. Then you lose all your other social contacts. And, you know, people who don't have kids, they're just like, oh, no, I'll just still have...

actual friends. Yeah. I'll just maintain a social circle. Yeah. Fuck. It is a, yeah, it is a weird thing. I mean, why not just keep, you know, the old sharehouse going from, you know, when you were in your 20s? You know, I assume that most of you who, who were living together probably have not managed to get your lives together and you probably still need to live with other people.

I mean, to be honest, if... This is the people who haven't had kids. Yeah. Alice there, have you seen people who don't have kids? Have you seen how much disposable income they have? Yeah, that's true. Have you seen... Again, this is such a person with kids' thing to say.

You don't understand. Because I haven't got my life together, even though I have people who depend on me. But, you know, also, they, like, they'll have, and they'll have all this circle of friends, and you know what's really great is those friends will be dying, right? And then they'll get to go to all these funerals, and they'll get to hang out. It's like having automatic socializing. Like, it's, you know, and they have a party, lakes and stuff. If you have a bunch of friends who don't have kids, so the bloodline ends with them,

do you think that they might just give some of their belongings, their friends. You might get some of their stuff. Yeah. Oh, I want that bowl. I know I've only got a couple of weeks left, but I've always had my eye on that ball. Can I have that for the last?

That ball. Is that what you said? I said bowl. A ball. Yeah, a ball. Yeah, plastic bowl. Bowl. Bowl.

A ball. Yeah, yeah, like a plastic bowl. You know, you play basketball with. You can eat cereal out of it. Yeah. Basketball. Would you play basketball? I mean, why don't they do that?

Disinflate. Disinflate a basketball. And then you push it in. You could push it in. You use it as a bowl. Far out. I mean, that's it. I mean, what a great way to express your love of the sport.

Think about it. You know what I always? You know, they're having a big bowl of corn flakes like that. You know, they get soggy. They start getting between all those like nubbly bits on the top of the basketball. Yeah, but if they get in there, what you can do is you can just reinflate the basketball and bounce it off. That's right. It's the perfect bowl.

You actually don't even need to fill a single sink with soapy water. And you bounce it clean. As if any germs, like, you know, you play a quick pick-up game, you know, quick two-aside or whatever, end-for-end, as if the germs are holding on with all that bouncing. That's right. They're getting knocked off. there's no way the violence method

the violence method is like the of sterilization yeah I mean what does it no but that's more like a centripetal force or something like that

right like a uh it's the buck it's the rodeo it's the rodeo method of of yeah it's whiplash yeah it's whiplash

it's concussive you know you'd be killing a lot of them with concussive force, but then all the others are going, they're going flying. They're out of there. I love this idea. Here's something I've thought would be really good, is to be able to inflate a basketball from a car's tire, you know, to steal a little bit of the pressure in the tire to pump up

a soccer ball, basketball. You got a tire? You got an inflated soccer. The soccer ball. Yeah, and a slightly deflated tire. Yeah. You know, there's probably only like four or five basketballs worth in your standard tire before you start to, you know, run it on the rim.

But you could be like, you know. But there's four tires. You can imagine this to be something that kids are doing in the streets. They're stealing compressed air from the tires to, because there's so many basketball games happening. And then like there's all these stories. in America of like teenagers getting shot because Americans are like, those kids are taking our inflated tire air.

They're taking out pressure. Like that's almost enough. Like you could imagine a couple of like southern states where they would in, they would like put in a inflated air, inflated tire law. Right. Stand your ground. We're defending our PSI.

That's right. um what's yeah but you just need a like a little little sort of like double-ended adapter or whatever that lets you screw onto the uh the valve on the tire and then put one of those little ball inflating spikes which are the hardest thing to hold onto and find when you need it the little the little cover thing no no the little you know the thing that like inflates the ball that's got like, it's like the needle that goes into the hole in the top of the ball. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, when you need it. When you need it, there are a thing that you need them maybe like once a year, maybe at the most.

No, no, you just need a pump that only does that. That's what you got to do. Yeah, but then I find, you just need a needle pump. I find that I will break that needle or, you know, something will go. Okay, well, I'm trying to craft a relatable scenario here. No, Andy, but there's no. you're slamming it back down. I mean, Angie, there's no angled, there's no angled forces on this needle.

You've got to see the way I store them, always leaning up on the edge of something. You know, one pump I saw once had a little cap you could lift and then the needles just went in there and you could put the cap back on. That's good. That's good. I'd still find a way to lose it. I mean, what would be great would be like an epipen kind of one, right?

Where you just slam a needle into the side of the ball, right? And you just inflate it. Like you don't care where the nozzle is. Right? You just like, wait, wait, explain that one more time? So, you know epipens, right? How you just like, you don't even look away. You just slam it into somebody's knee, not knee.

into their thigh and you just inject the adrenaline straight into their leg they should be you should be able to do that with inflating a basketball I don't want to have to look around for that nozzle

or how much time do you think I have this is an emergency this basketball game's about to start okay and and and and so I want just like a sharp needle on the end of a

an EpiPen shaped thing that has I guess like some super compressed air in a little canister. You know, it must be like a Nang basically in there. And I want to be able to fire, slam that into the basketball. It automatically starts

inflating, whip it out. Yeah. And the game can continue. You know, that's how quickly we can do this. Yeah. And is it a single use? It's just a single cylinder of compressed air.

Yeah. Yeah. And you can inflate anything. You could do it. You could just tie a balloon, the end of a balloon, an uninflated balloon, and just go psh like that in there. You could do it with, did you already say that? No, no. Okay, you could do it with, you could do it with like one of those, you know those like those Indian pastry things where they kind of like inflate that, you know? I mean, I think they have to fry it.

They have to fry it. Right. Chimmy Churry? No, that's not it. Jimmy Churry. Anyway, one of those, you can inflate that. Yeah, well, one of those for sure. Oh, what about, what about like one of those, you know, like, let's say you wanted to go as somebody who had a bad, really bad nutrition to for Halloween and you wanted to like inflate your belly?

Exactly. I mean, oh, it'd be great for doing burps, I guess. Oh, yeah. You know, you slam it into your gut there. Or right into your throat. Or into your throat. And you just, you just, you'd be able to burp so much. In flight, anything instantly.

Mate. Single cartridge, maybe even like, it's got like a machine gun option. So you can keep, like you can just keep shooting it. Like, you know, like a head, a head's worth of air in there. Yes. Yes. DISH DISH DISH Dish Dish

Dish Semi automatic Rapid Fire Bump stock But imagine that You're a coach You show up at You know

Soccer practice or whatever Like that The assistant coach arrives He goes Coach coach The team's just walking On to the field

But none of these balls are inflated He says Don't worry about it Like that And he goes Tush Dush

Dush Dush Dush Like that Duk Dukuk Duk Dukuk

Duk do G G G Duk the balls are inflated. I mean, it would be good to have almost like, it'd be great to have it like as a bullet. You know, imagine if you could get bullets made out of like, compressed oxygen, you know, and you could shoot all the balls. From afar, you could be still at home. With a handgun.

Yeah, you're just lit. Like that out of your window, you can see the field. Yeah. Dish, dash. You see the, you've got to trained on the, you're, you've got to trained on. the under fours soccer game in the field next to your vantage point. And you're following that ball with your sniper site. You fire.

You see it deflate slightly. Oh, yeah. You just give it a little extra. Yeah, you can see, you've got a laser on it that tells you the PSI in there. I was going to say a microwave laser. Oh, a microwave laser. Could it be a microwave laser? Of course.

We can absolutely allow that, Andy. I think it's the kind of detail that really makes this sketch idea. Isn't it interesting that, you know, epipens are sort of almost to deflate people. It's very much the opposite of an epiphan. You know, you see a person inflating with anaphylaxis. Oh, yeah. And then you puncture them. Yeah, and I guess if they actually were inflating as well, like actually inflating with air.

the EpiPen would also have a... It would work for that too. For that too, because you wouldn't even need to get the juice in there. You could just kind of do just a quick stab with the needle like that and then pull away. You know what would be really great would be to get some skin, a little bit of flesh from a person with anaphylaxis, with, you know, a deathly allergy to peanut butter, say. And then use that to grow a basketball in the lab. Okay.

And then all you'd need to do is... Wait, wait, wait, we're growing up with like a skin basketball? Yeah, yeah, that's right. Oh, yeah, okay, I see. And then all you'd need is for the... Just really some bees into the back. Well, all you'd need would be for the basketball team to have a little bit of peanut butter on their hands while they're playing. That's good.

And then the ball will always... stay nice and and taught and inflated like that. You know, maybe weeping slightly. You know, a little bit cracked, maybe, but beautifully taught.

You know, you ever seen those be stung lips of a... Yeah, yeah, a beautiful, like, red, pinkish red ball. Yeah. You know, it looks like it hurts the ball for you to grab it. Oh, sure.

People say the ball It's in Humane. The balls are able to feel pain. There's no evidence the balls can feel pain. That's why we didn't put a mouth on it. We didn't put a mouth on there. And the ones where they do have a mouth, we don't let those out of the lab, okay?

Those are kept down in the basement. That's right. Okay, where no one can hear their screams. That is correct, Andy. Correct, though. Imagine that. If all your victims are in the basement, no one can hear them scream.

Did you commit a crime? That's right. Not in the hours of the law. Here's something I've thought, right? Okay, tell me about it. Is this an off-pod thought or is this a... Since I said that last sentence. You know what, Andy?

I'm going to allow it. I was sort of inspired by this conversation, though. Brought back up. Regurgitated. Reguerged. Is it like... Um, my children. Yep.

Accidentally hit me really hard in the balls more than can be explained by that pure random chance. Yeah. Um, it's like, it's way, it's way too frequent. Yeah. So you think it's either, it's either intentional or you, you, you're raising sort of slightly more violent children than you could justify, like that you, you know, then you could, you would expect a person to race, especially a person such as you who is almost not violent at all.

Well, I wonder, almost not violent at all, yeah. You know me really, you know. I mean, I have wrestled you before, and then there's something that does switch on in you. I do take it quite seriously. I think I do remember you, submitting both me and a woman at one point at the same time and holding us down. I mean, it sounds more intense. It was just a mattress on a, it was on a mattress on a warehouse floor, and we had asked for it.

All we did was throw a mattress down on the floor and say, do you want to, do you want to wrestle? And then we actually did. Yeah. And that was, I think I was provoking you. I think I was provoking you. And I think she just got involved because she was like, well, obviously two against one, we've got a really good chance. Well, you're not going to pass up an opportunity like that.

It's absolutely decimates a man like Andy. I do think I'm stronger than I should have any right to be. Or at least I'm slightly surprisingly strong. Yeah. Or were, yeah, were. I haven't been tested in that way. for a while. Yeah, except for through hits to the testicles.

Yes. Well, so my thought is statistically and statistically speaking. Yeah. That it's more than you'd expect. And I think it might be like how like a baby bird will like push its rivals out of the nest. I think that maybe there's something, we should do some studies to find it. if genetically, you know, if there's something built in, like, an innate sort of thing in kids. And maybe it only happens after you've had four boys where they start to be like,

we've got to, you know, without even being conscious of it. Yeah. We've got to come this off with the source. Yeah. We've got to stop him. This man must be stopped. And so, like, you know, their bodies are twitching. in a way, based on primal urges.

It's oldest time itself to like really... I mean, it could just be that thing where they, you know, also when you're... I mean, I think that that is good. I think if they just, they know. And I got to say that that that's a message that's screaming out to everybody else, that, you know, you got to stop this. Yeah.

You know, the making of more kids. And so, but it could also be because now, you know, let's say, they might have just accidentally hit a bunch of, hit your testicles a bunch of times accidentally. But now it's so weird that now they're telling themselves, don't hit the testicles, don't hit the testicles. And their focus is so intensely on the testicles that no matter where they throw a punch,

that's where it always lands. Yes, it's like the goalkeeper. You know, you almost want to not look at the goalkeeper when you're kicking a penalty shot. Yeah. This is a penis oldie. shot. Penal. Penalty.

Penalty. It was right there, Alastair. That was really well done. Thank you. You needed a second go at it. I just needed a second go, but, you know, I'm capable. The important thing is that we know that we're capable, and that's where the good feeling comes from. Yeah. I never claimed to be perfect. I never... So what do you think is the sketch idea here? Is the...

I don't know. I don't know. Maybe there is none. maybe it's the science done of it maybe it's the dad who's researching this I think that if the dad research it and let's say he gives it to a scientist friend and his scientist friend starts looking at it and he says I have found something I think there is an urge in people

but then he starts punching you in the balls as well and that somehow he's caught it yeah through looking at whatever they're looking at it would be good to like the tests that they would have to do. I presume they'd just have to get a bunch of four-year-olds in a room, right? And then just put some dads in there and just have them sort of walk around.

And they'd be tracking them all with like, you know, computer screens with wireframe models with little dots that are like tracking their arm movements. And it would be almost like tracking Brownian motion. And you just see these trends that almost look like a, you know, they emerge where they're, uh, over time. it's it's it's heading towards the the balls consistently this is there's no laugh points in this there's no no there is there is I've built a sketch that's entirely about being punched in the nuts you think it would be the funniest thing in the world and Andy Andy I think if it's if it does end up being some kind of

mind virus that maybe you know kind of was first incubated in your house and then spreads to the general populace and everybody just wants to hit you in the balls you know what that is good you know and then suddenly you have to figure out a cure to this thing. Yeah. All while avoiding nutshots. Yeah. And I like to think that at some point there's a point where everybody comes together and they've caught you. And they realize they all want to do it.

But the only way that they can do it is because if they all go at once, you'll probably die from, you know, bruising and internal bleeding and stuff like that. So they actually space it out. so everybody gets, you know, scheduled shot in, but they're far enough apart from each other that you will recover enough. Yeah. And then there's just a line you just held down and then you never will get peace because...

I think that's actually really good. It is like an almost a zombie situation, almost a bit of a pluribus kind of thing going on. You know, everybody in the world wants this. They yearn for it. And maybe they know it's wrong, but like the government has to step in and be like, look, society's got to continue. We're going to keep this guy chained up in a facility and everybody's going to get access to him for, you know, three seconds a year.

And you come through and it's almost, you know, it's almost like a pilgrimage then that people make. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Get it out of their system. Yeah, it's like going to mecca. Yeah, it's like, but. Yes. People are excited about it.

and they go in a group with their family. Yeah. They see it and they hit it. Yeah, and it just becomes part of our culture. I mean, it becomes the first world culture. The first whole, you know, thing that everybody in the world does. Mm-hmm. You know, and maybe they could actually tour your body.

That would be really nice. You know, maybe in the back. There's a hotel up near my head, another one near my foot. A hotel? Yeah. Well, they're touring my body. right they can as they go around

there's going to be different places to stay yeah and there'll be a good view of my body from the different

hotels as well yeah but you know sometimes they take you to like a big like a big stadium in a city and there's like

oh I sorry people there tour my body mean my body tours around not they walk around my body on a tour

of my body oh no I'm sorry, I feel like my misinterpretation ruined what you were trying to do. No, Andy, it couldn't possibly have. And they take you there and then 50,000 people kind of walk in and they take turns, you know, really fucking up your nuts. That is really nice. Yeah, like the queen's, like the queen's body. Did they tour the queen's body?

Like the queen's of stone age or, yeah, or the band. Yeah, sort of like at a stadium, like that shows that they would play, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. The queen's body. Yeah, I think, I mean, did they move the queen's body much? I mean, it feels like after she died, she could have done a world tour. They could have done something. It's a bit disrespectful, disrespectful to all the colonies that have had to be under her command or whatever.

To not have her body. On her grave. Yeah, trapes through, drag through the country. Hmm. I mean, you're probably some of those hot countries, maybe you wouldn't have wanted to take her there. Let her spend too much time out in the sun. We can put her in a refrigerated case.

Okay, that's a really good idea. Like a refrigerated coffin. Yeah. Self-refrigerating. That's a good idea. What about, like, you know how, like, some people get their bodies cryogenically frozen? What about just

You know The way that you want Hated Just just like what about Like just kept Kept cold like in the fridge But you're put in the back of a fridge So that at some point you just go moldy

And you kind of get like a fuzz over Yeah What about you get really wet Yeah Lots of liquid comes out of you Like more liquid than Feels like could possibly have been in there To begin with

Yeah what about just left out in the open, you know, like sort of somewhere public and you're going to just stay there and you just rot publicly. Yeah, I think that's been tried. Have they? Sort of, yeah, medieval kind of stuff like that. Not as a negative thing, more of as an educational thing. Oh, that's nice.

You know, like not to warn anybody of anything, just to, because I mean, maybe it's just, it's hard to look at because we're. you know, we don't do it. I mean, maybe you donate your body to science, right? But you didn't specify which science? And one of the sciences that gets it doesn't really need bodies like astrophysics or something like that. And so maybe they just keep your body around the office around the department. Maybe they do pranks on each other with it.

To make it look like they're making up numbers in certain, you know, computer labs. Yeah, great. Maybe they lie you face down on a desk and use your butt as a penholder. Yeah. Maybe they turn you into a surfboard. Yeah, for the weekends. Because you can sort of body surf. Yeah.

And so then you could probably surf on a body surfing person. Yeah, yeah, great. So do you think it's the corpse of a body surfer? And somebody who's never been able to body surf, they climb on your beautiful body surfing body and ride it in on a wave and it works out great? I would assume so, yeah. I think it'll be perfect, yeah.

Obviously, I'm writing down. That's really nice. And I like to think that this would, still help science in some way. You know, the progress of science is nonlinear and, you know, scientists need to unwind as well. You know? Absolutely, yeah.

And so, oh, do you think that they could also, like, take off one of your fingers and smoke it like a joint? Yes. Exactly. I mean, you know, like, do you think, how hard do you think it would be, like, to pump, like, through, let's say you'd cut off the tip of the finger. I think you'd need to cut off the tip of the finger.

I think you need to cut off the top like a cigar. Yeah, for sure. Yeah, and then obviously, in order to make it a separate finger, you have to cut it off the hand anyway. Yeah, anyway, obviously. That goes without saying. And then, you know, maybe you would be able to sort of inhale through the bone marrow, which feels a bit like filtery to me.

Yeah, that's true. That's where all the white blood cells are made? Is it? I think maybe all blood is made in the marrow. Oh. Otherwise, I don't know. Yeah, I'm pretty sure. that blood is made inside the bones.

I don't know how it gets out of from in there. Yeah. Yeah. Through the blood. Yeah. How does it get out? Yeah. How do you get in there?

How do you get out? Maybe there are, I think there might be joint, you know, maybe it sort of around the joints. Is everything poor? They're a bit more porous. Maybe everything's porous. I think just, our bones just constantly leaking blood. That's fun to think about. Yeah.

because I guess we just know bones in their dry state. Yeah. You think you know bones. How does blood emerge from bone? Let's see. Blood emerges from the world through a continuous cellular process called hemipatopause. So inside the soft hematopoeasis, inside the soft spongy red bone marrow from which newly formed bloods we squeeze into tiny blood vessels.

and flow out into the main circulation. There's blood vessels. You just never see them. Oh, yeah, there's blood vessels in the bone. I guess bones alive. It needs blood somehow as well. Oh, yeah, it's got its own source. How does bone grow?

What is bone? I guess it's bone. How is Babi formed? But you tend to think of everything in the body as being cells. But like bones, I guess there aren't bone cells. they must grow. There must be bone cells. Nah, they can't be bones cells.

Because the bones grow even while they're while they're already in your body. Yes, but they must be getting deposited. But you're right, because they get longer from the middle. It's not like they just get longer at the ends. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, how does like a short baby bone

turn into a long daddy bone? Yeah. How does it grow? How is Babi formed? Yeah. You know, we made fun of that question when someone posted it on the internet. But that person was a scientist. How is Babi formed?

That person could have become a doctor. I mean, that's all it takes is a little bit of curiosity, Andy. Now, look, I am feeling tired. Oh, Alastair. And I also... Should we go to three words from a listener? I know that I have limited time. You have limited time.

So, let's go to three words from a listener. These words come from James Roy. James Roy. James Roy. And James is sent in three words from a listener. And the listener, I assume, is him? Let me see. This was an old one, but I actually, when I first...

Oh, here it is. It says three words from your boy. dot listener. It's James Roy A listener. James Roy. Yeah. Oh yeah.

Well, maybe that James Roy changed his name to A listener, but at the moment when he first sent us, it was A listener. Anyway, then he's got the three words,

and I want you to guess what the three words are. Okay, first word is sideways. Oh, close, and humanist. Okay, the second word is Machine

No, but close, druid Humanist Druid The third word is Stocking Socking Stocking

Stocking Stocking Yeah No You would have been closer if you had said Stockrifice Because the word is sacrifice Oh, humanist druid sacrifice.

Yeah. Yeah, great. Are humans the ones that care about people? And like, or they have no God, right? They don't have a God. Oh, maybe. Yeah. I mean, I think it would be nice if we could do sacrifices.

Like, I'm not sure how closely the gods are looking, but like, is there any way that we could, like, send people up for the human sacrifice? But these are people who, say, need an amputation anyway, right? And then we just, like, amputate their leg, say, right? Under anesthetic or whatever. And the gods who, you know, it's been thousands of years. Are you seriously, you expect me to believe they're like a watching closely every sacrifice? They're probably just sort of like glancing over.

They're like, oh, yeah, lots of blood. Yeah, great. And then, you know, oh, your body parts in a pile, great. You know, they probably. Exactly. You could get that. You could get away with that for a while. You get a few good harvests out of that, I reckon.

You can get rid of almost all of the body parts that you don't even want. Mm-hmm. You know, and pass them off as sacrifices. Yes. Humane sacrifice. Yeah. No, no, no, no. I was demanding a humane sacrifice.

Oh, what have you been doing? Oh, that's a, that's quetzocotal. the Aztec god, uh, coming down and horrified to see what's been perpetrated in his name. No, I,

I, specifically typed humane sacrifice. You know, I was, I was thinking like, uh, a, a plate of wheat.

Yeah. Even, but even that, that uses up a fair bit of water, you know, you know, a handful of dirt. There's no humane sacrifice under capitalism,

baby. Well, you know, I think, anything that you can just bend down and pick up, I think that would have been good. Like, why don't gods want dirt? Like, they're not going to eat the food anyway. Why are we giving them good food? Why can't I just give you a rock? Yeah, I mean, I presume it all emerges from history when the priests were secretly eating the food.

Right? Presumably, it's all like, yeah, God, he wants, you know, a two-minute egg, you know, like not too hard. That's exactly what it would be. He wants some soldiers. He wants a D-Pri-D player. He wants a pair of pants, size 34, in the waist, 32 in the leg. Okay? He demands.

He demands a Nike shirt. Yes. Yes, like the one I used to have. Yeah. But it got stains on it. Yeah, I'll show you because it's actually very important, which one. This is what God wants. Yeah.

I mean, I had never occurred to me that that's exactly what it would be, that some people got tricked. Oh, for sure. Yeah, and it's like not even that good a trick No No It's actually a really bad trick And then people just took it really seriously

Well it's probably It is like a trick from like You know, it's like it's Ricky Jervais's the invention of lying It genuinely is like at some point There would have been some people who were more creative Maybe than other people Or

and use that to just manipulate others, right? Yeah. The manipulation would have not emerged uniformly, the ability to manipulate across society. And so those who had it would have had an evolutionary advantage, and their ability to be like, we need to do this, or there won't be any Bison next season. Yeah, but then I think the worst person is also maybe the person who came along after and was like, no, these sacrifices to God are important and then just let people keep sacrificing good food for nothing.

Yeah. Well, yeah, and then the person who said, you know what, the food's not cutting it, we need to actually kill a man or a child. for some reason. And that was great when you wanted somebody killed. Yeah. Yeah. Because it's like the human sacrificing, they often make it seem like it's like, oh, it's some virgin or whatever it is. But it's most likely it was some girl that turned down the priest or whatever.

Yeah. Yeah, that's true. But then, you know, by your logic, Alistair, are the even worse people, the ones who come along and then want to sacrifice some virgins who have an even turned them down, you know? That's true. My twisted logic. Who haven't even committed the crime of? Propositioning a young woman.

Yeah. Andy, now, should we, should the sketch be about those people? I think so. Yeah, I think it's the invention. I think it's, you know, the early priest demanding sacrifices. which are very clearly things that they want for them, for themselves. Yeah. The origins of sacrifice.

Yeah. Salary sacrifice. Salary sacrifice. I think the druids would be horrified if they came today and saw what we are, you know, how we are cheapening the concept of sacrifice. Yeah, you're taking it out, but you're actually benefiting greatly from it because you're lowering your taxable income? Yeah, yeah.

You know, and we're not even doing it like in a robe on an altar. Like if you had to take all of your income up to a blood-stained altar and then like, you know, somehow cut some of it off with a rusty dagger, you know, maybe they'd respect that. Yeah, sure. They'd think it was really inappropriate. Let me take you through the sketch ideas for today. We got whiplash rodeo sterilization method, which is where you, you know, let's say you bounce a ball.

And then, of course, all of the germs get thrown off or they, you know, the whiplash breaks their neck and they fall. And then we've got the new, the new adapter that's taking the world by storm that, that, that, that, that, that, takes air from inflated tires and puts it into basketballs. And it's created quite the cruffle amongst the community who are now starting to defend their cars with guns. We have epipen inflation, and this is not the cost of epipens going up as it has in the Americas,

but a pen for inflating things instantly with a little bottle of compressed air or a bullet that you could... shoot from a sniper rifle that inflates balls from your living room, somewhere on the field where four-year-olds are playing soccer. We've got the punch Andy and the balls situation disease that spreads to the whole world. And Andy is getting sort of zombie attacked by people who want to do that. And then we've got the getting rid of all body parts that you don't want

and passing them off as human sacrifice. And then, of course, we have the origins of science. sacrifice and then we have druids getting offended by salary sacrifice that's three sacrifices yeah we really backloaded it with the sacrifice gear but i guess that was the nature of the suggestion mm that was a three for one thanks james roy thanks a listener thanks james roy thanks a listener Boop boop bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo a o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o ah Thank you. Think tank.

We appreciate you and everything you do. Everything you do. Thank you so much for all those who support us on Patreon. Thank you so much for all those who support us with their ears and their eyes. I assume that you're looking at photos of us while you listen to the podcast. Thanks to everybody who's reviewing us on iTunes, really helps people find the podcast. And Spotify and Pod Addict. Every little pod thing has its own little review thing now, I think.

Yeah, I don't like that. No? No. It should all be consolidated. Yeah, consolidate. If one of you guys are a tech lord, why not consolidate at all? And, you know what? Have a great day.

Yep. We... Check out Alistair's Instagram where he is making great Bolognaise using... Can you Bolognaise? Can you Bolognaze it? It's going to be big. Check it out. Check it out Bobby Logg's stories, a podcast.

And I had some people while I was on the Do Go On tour convinced me that I'm going to have to restart Shusher, because a lot of people are still listening. Great. And we love you. Bye. Bye.