Two In The Think Tank - 548 - "ENTER THE DOCTORGON"

Episode Date: October 21, 2026

Enter Doctorgon - Surgeon Fight, France Tunnel Of Love, 2 Men Enter 3 Men Leave, Bully Media, The Bully Community, Getting an Targeted Ad for a Product You’ve Only Conceived of in Your Mind, Future Development, Unique Identity Limited, Public Lice Migration Pixar Film, Buffoon Sanctuary, Skull Tattoos for Raise Awareness of Male Baldness, Guys Organising Accidental Tattoo DayListen to Alasdair's Bobby Logs Stories for kidsYou can purchase A Listener hats by emailing [e-mail] out the sketch spreadsheet by Will Runt hereAnd visit the Think Tank Institute website:Check out our comics on instagram with Peader Thomas at Pants IllustratedOrder Gustav & Henri from Andy and Pete's very own online shopYou can support the pod by chipping in to our patreon here (thank you!)Join the other TITTT scholars on the TITTT discord server hereHey, why not listen to Al's meditation/comedy podcast ShusherAlasdair Tremblay-Birchall: @alasdairtb and instaAnd you can find us on the Facebook right here(Oh, and we love you) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello and welcome to Two in the Think Tank, the show where we come up with five sketch ideas. I'm Andy. I'm Alist for George William Tramley-Birdschole. I decided to pick my nose during my... And I love that about you. I decided to pick my nose during saying my name. I don't know if I've ever... I don't have the time.

I don't have the luxury of time. You can get so much done while you say your name. Oh. You could... I know, but it can also take up so much time. I don't make the most of that time. Yeah, I mean, I guess that's the The double-barreled curse

Of your surname. Alistair, what do you think about this? Right? It's underground surgeon battles, okay? The cuts would be so accurate. Now, I'm not sure Well, I'm not sure if they're actually fighting each other. I don't think they are, in fact,

even if they are, if they are battling each other, I don't think they are fighting. I think maybe two surgeons with an illness go into the ring and try to operate on each other. That's really good. And whoever emerges, some kind of malady, cured, is the loser. They each have a tumor roughly the same size. Yeah, great, great. Requiring removal, requiring surgery. And they wrestle each other. Or two surgeons with hernius. You know? Beautiful.

Because that's a pretty standard procedure. Oh, you know where they would fight? Where? They would fight in the doctor gone. Of course they would. Oh my gosh. Of course they would. Of course they would, Andy.

I mean, that's the perfect venue. I mean, it would be crazy to build the doctor gone and then tell them they can't fight it. I mean, they already have an operating theater, which feels a bit like a perfect venue. that one with the seating above, it almost looks like they're implying they want you to have a fight. Yeah. I mean, it would be great, I suppose, if, you know, there's so many different ways this could go, and I assume maybe there'd be different leagues, but I imagine there's one where they're both operating on the same dude, right? And one has to go in from below and one has to go in from above, and they're both trying to.

be the one who comes out with the tumor this person has in the middle of their body. That's cool. I mean, I would love to, yeah, I think one from the front, one from the back is great. I think they used to get a keyhole. Like when they dug that tunnel through that mountain in France, you know, and they had to meet in the middle. Wait, they dug a tunnel through a mouth? And I imagine they competed through a mountain. Oh, through a mountain in France.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. That would be fun doing that, you know, climbing through a mountain, digging through a mountain, although I hate the concept of being in a tunnel under a mountain. Which bits do you think would be the most fun? Let's see. I mean, I think the bit where you meet up. That would be so fun. And especially...

And that bit where you break a little hole through and you're like... Your finger goes through. And you put your finger through. And for a second. Maybe imagine that. Put your penis through. No. Imagine that.

Because there's this beautiful. But I mean. This is beautiful moment. But think about it. Think about it. The glory holes. Okay. Where's the real glory?

This is true glory. I don't think there's any real glory. This is true glory. That's for breaking those last few, you know, clots of dirt between that and using. And especially if it was your beloved on the other side. Sure, or maybe the Prime Minister. That's true, yeah. And maybe it's both.

Oh, imagine that. Your beloved is the Prime Minister of France. You are a minor. You are a tunnel digger. You're a bitter rough. Yeah. I mean, maybe that's the thing that makes it fall in love with you. Well, she's so attracted to that, you know, that you're a man of the earth.

That she's so willing to go deep. into an unfinished tunnel. Yeah, that's right. And meet a guy who's willing to joke this way or make an advance in France it would be roughly the same thing. Sure, you're taking a chance. Always you've taken a chance.

When you're joking in France, you take it a chance. I'm going to write it down. Great, great. And of course, enter the Doctor Gone. Andy, of course, Andy. Andy, who do you think you're dealing with? Who do you think you... I am offended.

I'm offended. You'd think I wouldn't have written down into the doctor gone. Now, Alastair, what about this, right? And I don't know what this is, okay, but I've just got a phrase, okay? I'm going through a phrase phase. Fuck, that's hard to say. I'm going through a phrase phase. and my phrase is two men enter, three men leave.

I mean, you just want to write the movie. You want to write the movie that has that. You do, don't you? Yeah. That is that as the tagline. No. I mean, where did they get that extra guy? So either they made him from loose meat.

I mean, it is almost the Frankenstein story, is. Like almost competitive. You've got Victor. Competitive Frankenstining. They go into the... Two men enter. Three men leave. Three men leave.

It's certainly rich with possibility. And you know what? I don't know if there are movie studios. I hear they're all doing really well at the moment and very excited to take risk. I do think that they, I think actually, apparently there. Maybe we could find one. Specks are back. Spex scripts are back.

Really? Spex are back. Some of the horror movies and things like that, it's kind of opened up people a bit more to. Yeah. It was after, you know, weapons and things like that where they were like, ooh. Yeah, obsession. And talk to me. Backrooms.

Mm, backrooms. Say another one. Say another one. What's the Michael B. Jordan one there with the sinners? Oh, sinners. Man. Yeah. You did it.

Oh, you almost did it. I tell you what, I like that Michael B. Jordan guy. He's really got something. Don't you reckon he's really got something? He's beautiful. He's a good actor. I imagine his personality is. pretty good.

Yeah, I imagine his personality is pretty good as well. So there you go. Do you ever see that interview where he was in an interview with somebody and then it was like she was like his high school bully? She bullied. Well, when they were in high school, yeah, and then he kind of like brings it up and she's like, nah, no, that was all just, but he goes, no, it wasn't.

Wow. Yeah. I mean, that's great. That's really terrific. and I think there should be more interviews with that dynamic. More media companies should hire people that have bullied celebrities a long time ago, because that was a great moment. Exactly.

Yeah, that was a great moment. You can't manufacture that, but maybe you could. Maybe you can. That's right. And so they do the research. They go, because they're like, one viral video is all we need. That's all it takes. To be on top forever.

you just need one moment of success and you'll never come down from that high. No, but I do think that interviews in which you are interviewed by your high school bully could work. I also think you could just have a media company just called bully. That's true.

Feels like that is the thing that you could make now. Michael B. Jordan, I'm with bully. You just bully people. Yeah. I'm with your high school bully. Your high school bully. Media Incorporated. Oh, yeah, they're all here.

Hi. That's in unison. I don't know if you could tell. They've also all your bullies. I mean, imagine that. All your bullies get together and they hang out. You find out that they're all hanging out. And when they're.

get together they I guess they talk about you and how much you suck and you find out that they've been doing this for the last like three decades but they decided to start a media company well I don't know if there is a media company in my version now I just like the idea

that all your bullies they've really bonded and they've like it's been some of the deepest most meaningful friendships of their lives are the ones that they've formed in the Andy Matthews bullying community. You know, people in the AMBC have gotten married, have had kids, and it's their shared disdain for me that keeps those relationships so strong. People have been through really tough times, and the connections, the depth of those connections at the AMBC,

are what have got them through. and I just think that's beautiful. I don't have any idea that this exists and then I discover it somehow at the age of 45. I'm not 45 guys. I'm imagining it. This is a fantasy scenario.

I have such a powerful imagination that I'm able to conceive of a time when I will be 45, even though it's almost impossible. This is speculative. imagining. You're thinking about what you could imagine in the future. It's almost unimaginable what I could imagine in the future.

Unless, except that you have. But unless you're me, unless you're me. It's very difficult. The only person who could do it is me. It's pretty much impossible to imagine what you imagine unless you're you. Yeah. I hope so. It's hard to at least imagine what you might imagine.

engine. I have been getting, have you noticed this recently? I've been getting targeted ads for stuff that I've only just thought about. I haven't, I haven't even, stuff I haven't even said out loud. I'm just now getting ads for that. Okay, so what's an example of something that you've thought about and never vocalized and that you got an ad for? Oh, and, you know, and fair enough that you would ask me that question, Alastair, I really did walk right into it. And I can't think of the examples right now, and I'm sorry. But like, I would say two or three times in the last six months. This is a great statistic. I've got targeted ads for things that I've only just sort of pondered. Or like, you know, products that I thought I'd invented in my mind and then I see an ad follow.

Products. So I don't know what's happening. I got an ad for a product that I'm pretty sure that I invented in my mind, and I never gave the formula to anybody. And I'll tell you what, in my mind, I didn't even picture it in that much detail. I didn't even give that much away in my thoughts, and they still got it out somehow. So they got out, even all the details you hadn't even worked out yet. Wow.

Yeah. So they had to do a lot of R&D. on the how they did it. On this product. Yeah. That maybe you just didn't know existed already. Yeah. Or maybe you'd seen in another targeted ad.

Yeah. And market. The fact that they then marketed that back to me shows a kind of a level of swagger and confidence and a real sort of fuck you kind of thing that they're doing. Makes me think they might be part of the AMBC. The way to market it back to me is like, oh, come on, guys. Market it to other people, sell it on. I'm the one who came up with it. You know what it means, though.

People might be imagining what you're imagining. There's been a huge breakthrough at the AMBC, whatever it was. We've figured out how to imagine what Andy's imagining. Yeah, that'd be big. Oh, well, good on them. You know, I'm happy for those guys. If you found out that people were, I mean, to be honest, and I've said this before, just the idea that anybody talks about me or thinks about me at all when I'm not around.

A huge compliment. It's a huge compliment. It's a huge compliment. It's one of the most intoxicating things you can allow yourself to believe, let alone have confirmed. And so therefore, the idea that there's a whole community of it is really an ecstatic. You could imagine if you were sort of like near the end of your life, say, you know, 49 or... I could imagine, sure. Yeah, yeah.

I'm so sorry. And, you know, I mean like 89. You didn't say which end. You didn't say which end of my life. Could be when your life really starts. Yeah, could have been, relatively speaking. I want you to know that that's just a deeply ingrained fear of mine. and I'm getting it up before the target it

let's get it so you mean me dying like you know any of us dying early you know yeah of course you dying yeah

tell you what though I mean dying early is pretty bad it's only slightly worse than dying like I gotta say any of this dying business I'm into dying yeah yeah you know all that stuff

for old people are like, it's not worth it. You go, yeah, I'd like to be around to find out it's not worth it. Oh, no, no, no. I'm more saying that I'd rather there was no dying at all. When I think about anybody dying. I'm actually the least concerned about me dying. I'm much more concerned about everyone else. And then them selfishly dying and then leaving me to have to feel bad.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. know, I guess it's a super selfish attitude. Andy, could you stop being so selfish and being worried about the people in your life dying? Now, what I was going to say about this group of bullies is that they are, one day you stumble upon one of their meetings. You're back in your hometown, visiting maybe on, or, you know, for work, you're sort of nearby. So you go and then you go to a pub. close to it and you stumble upon this meeting I wouldn't be surprised if yeah great many of them cried and hugged you because you what you've given

what I've given their life community and you know based on and all based on how much of a fuckhead we think that you are that's really nice and then I think though it also sort of like it's so beautiful and then they're hugging me and they're crying and that kind of thing and then it starts to get just like a little bit rough and there's a little bit of pushing going on and some of the hugs are sort of like a bit like painful and like ow and that kind of thing and then they do all sort of like tear me apart and kill me in like an orgy of violence I think and they're rubbing my flesh and skin on their on their bodies and writhing and kissing and

I wouldn't mind if they just got one chunk of flesh. And you ran and you ran. Yeah. Maybe it was... Yeah, you know what, that's true. And then they're even making fun of me for how I run. As you run away into the darkness to go hide amongst those like rusty cars you used to play in as a kid by yourself because of the bullies. Yes.

You're back there. It's true. And you know what? It feels good. This one won't feel good because you will have had flesh torn from your body, and you'll be near so much rusty metal that you're not used to being around anymore. That's true. My tolerance might be really low.

A tetanist tolerance. It's like somebody who goes back on heroin. That's right. They're at risk of overdosing, and I do the same thing with lacerating my feet on shards of heroin. Our rusted steel. Yeah. What about Rust Man? You know?

Just I wonder whether or not there's ever been a guy who, you know, can expel or is all rusty. It kind of would look like the thing, but... Is he sort of connected to Iron Man in some way? He could be, but maybe... But yeah, I don't know if it's... Does he put on a rusty suit, do you think? Do you think Or does he cause things to rust?

Because I mean, if he causes things to sort of oxidize, I mean, he would be a, he would be a worthy foe. I just worry that his processes work too slow. Well, I mean, you could say that, but I mean, obviously they wouldn't work too slow, you know? Like that's like any superhero kind of power. you're like, oh, magneto, I just worry that his magnetism won't be strong enough to do much. Well, obviously it is. That's great. I mean, that's really good.

So, like, he can actually make oxidization occur rather than sort of like he's just blowing pure oxygen out of his hands or something like that. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, exactly. You know, he speeds up the process somehow, maybe using enzymes, I don't know. I feel like we haven't tapped the full potential of enzymes. I feel like when I was growing up, when I was learning about science, there was a lot of hype around enzymes, and we were going to be able to use enzymes and do all sorts of stuff.

Do you think people are still looking away from enzymes now? This is the problem is that the scientists announce when they are about to have a breakthrough, but there's never a big announcement when it turned out there was no breakthrough and they've given up. That's true. You know? Like, because in the back of my brain,

I'm still waiting for all of these breakthroughs that were five to ten years away for them to come through and come live. And meanwhile, those scientists who announced that those things were coming just around the corner, they've given up 10 years ago. They're on to something else. They don't even think about that Alzheimer's medication

that they're looking at refolding proteins or something. Yes, I think they need to be, you know, and fair enough for them to move on, we all have to do it in life, but there needs to be a big public announcement to say, no, not happening, that one's dead. Yeah, I would like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Forget it. Sort of like, what's a good one? Like, let's see, there was one. That was definitely, oh, I mean, like, the people who were working on turning meals into a pill, you know, that would have been back in the 60s. Yeah. They never told us that they've stopped, you know?

Yeah. Yeah. And I feel like they definitely have. So whatever the opposite of a breakthrough is, we also need to announce those. I mean, although bringing it back being like, hey, we've put a full English breakfast in a pill. I mean, that would be good. Pretty good. Imagine overdosing on those though.

Imagine to take a fistful. In the dystopian sci-fi novel that we write where meals are in pills form. The idea of like the detective bursting into the room, the person is slumped on the bed and they see the empty jar of pills on the bedside table. and pick it off and say, ah, full English breakfast. And he's eaten the whole, the whole jar.

Yeah, that's fun. Maybe, maybe what it would come from? It's a, it's like a, what's one of those like a development, you know, an area where they've done a kind of a housing development. But they've, the promise of this place was to create the future we were promised. It's aimed at boomers who were young when these predictions were being made. during the time of the Jetsons. And it's to create a development where the future is what they were promised back then.

It's a development where you actually get all those developments that we promise we would develop. It's a development development. And what, should we put it on the moon? Well, I mean, just for the sake of selling some property on land, we could just put it, you know, it's just in some suburban corner where they've put the houses on these tall things and, you know, they've probably created some cars that can fly using the quadrocopter type thing. But don't you think that like putting it on the moon sort of is, you know, I mean, we were probably promised that we would be living on the moon, civilizations on the moon.

I think anything less than the moon. If we do not shoot for the moon. I like the slight shitness of what they would actually create and the fact that you could just get regular people who were convinced by this stuff. And then they're getting meals like a thing of full English breakfast pills and things like that. That isn't quite anywhere near as good as they would hope. But this is what they pay for. Okay. Maybe we're giving them a pill.

We're telling them it's full English breakfast. right, but actually it's some sort of drug that either knocks them out or erases their memory, knocks them out for five minutes, we burst into the room, shove a full-anguish breakfast down their throat with a funnel, tamped down with a stick,

run out of the room, back into the hall, it's the great thing about... And then they wake up... People who are demanding to eat pills. You can put anything in those pills and that allows you to do almost anything with this development.

That's true. I mean, they just want pills. We're going to be able to have our way with them and their digestive processes. You know what? We probably wouldn't even have to make it a very well-cooked English breakfast that we're rammed down their throats. Any old crap.

Do you think that some of them will be taking the pills and then putting a camera down their throat to see if a full English breakfast does materialize in there? Well, you know, maybe they'll regurgitate. I mean, they'll feel full, you know, and their burps will smell like a full English breakfast. And I think this will... We promise you your burps will smell like a full English breakfast.

This is basically what they were doing. That's... This is basically what they were doing with Therados, right? with their blood testing machine that wasn't really testing people's blood, and they were sneaking the blood out the back and going testing it somewhere else, and then coming back and pretending they got the results from their machine. It's exactly the same fucking level of sophistication of the fraud scheme that we're achieving. And I love it.

Have I mentioned this? But that I think that having to, run a little forward scheme like that, like getting the chance to run a little fake Theranos kind of thing, would actually be kind of fun. Like, imagine that adrenaline when you're like racing the samples back and sliding them in through, I don't know, like a slot under the desk or something to try and trick people into thinking that you've really got the reticent. You'd feel such a rush to a meeting with your elderly investor, like this elderly billionaire or whatever. who's like a war hero and things like that

and then being like thinking of what the lies you're going to make up to you know the ones where you're telling him that they're using they're using this on military bases in wherever like this technology like that and yeah is that part of what they were doing

this the other because Indiana has been listening to the podcast recently to kind of get her up to date before we watch the document the Nathan Fielder one. Do you think we should get up to date? I mean, I could not be more excited for this documentary. Yeah, I mean, it's off the jars.

I love everything about it, just the idea that it's like, this comedy guy is now in the best documentary of the year. It's like one of the best movies of the year that it's like, his work has transcended everything. Everything. the guy who's like, who's in, who's in everybody's thoughts now. He's just like the main thing that is being spoken about. Yeah. It's crazy. Yeah. And it does like, and like, it feels like, he's always been weird. He's always been niche, but he's just been, he's just been so

consistently good in his niche that like, it could. be contained anymore, right? Like, eventually it's just like exploded into the mainstream where you're like, well, this is... Yeah. But I guess at a time when so many things are getting watered down or slopified or whatever, like people will be so yearning for and so drawn to things that are so clearly made from a voice, from authenticity, from passion and hard work. How about this?

Or maybe they won't fucking care. It's an agency. that gives you a unique voice. They've used a committee. I mean, they could take my money. They've used a committee to build a unique voice for you. Uh-huh. That is unlike anybody.

Because, you know, honestly. Yeah, a unique perspective. Oh, you know, you're going to have your own take on things. Oh, I'd love to have my own take on things. Well. We've used statistics. And, and, uh, this is the most unique take. Because they say that everybody's unique, but really the idea, though.

A lot of people are just saying the same stuff. Yeah. Hmm. Ain't that the fucking truth. But I think, uh, when you buy your unique identity off them, they like, you know, somehow they like, they, they, they put a big stroke through that, something to say, oh, we can't sell that identity anymore. that one's gone it's one of a kind there are no more of these ones you got the last one and the only

yeah yeah absolutely yeah and then you could go okay because like one of them would be like you know let's say the one they just sold was like um you know this one is is a it was a heavy sort of movie um interpretation one where you were able to see the sort of um the social implications of all these my little pony movies, you know? Yeah. Yeah, that was going to be your big thing. It had heavy sort of my little pony academic vibes to it where if that's what you chose to do, could do that or you could just, you know, go into social media and talk about

it, you know. Okay, now we don't have any of that one left. Obviously, that one just sold. He goes, oh, you know, sorry, you were just a bit too slow and we can't hold it for you. All right. We have a guy who wears Crop Top Business shirts

And we have a guy Who does that thing like a dog Where they drag their butt on the carpet To wipe the The last bit of shit Off of it Oh really? Is that all that you got left?

I was hoping for something about movies About a guy who knows stuff about movies Sorry, well you've got kids And so it's Those were all Those all went very early on. They were, in many ways, though, they were kind of our ones that are closest to existing personalities. So, you know, that was...

It's true. To us, technically, I mean, we consider all the people who bought that stuff to be cop-outs. The ones that were left here, these are true original personalities, you know? Mm-hmm. And of course, they would be, you know. Like the ones that are left over, like the ones that are left in the supermarket, the last apples, you know, or whatever it is. They're always the weirdest ones and it's the same with identities. Exactly, yeah.

And all the same thing with identities. The people who were left in the supermarket just standing there near the apples when you're trying to close the thing, usually the most identical, the most unique identity. It's a unique. They sure are. There's some real interesting ones. Why is it called a mid-riff? Riff, there are no other riffs.

Top-riff. It's not a top riff and a bottom riff. Interesting. It's all just mid. You know, what happened to the other riffs? Maybe I will. Maybe I will. It feels to me like the head wouldn't be the top riff.

It would still be a region of the torso. Yeah. maybe the nipples, and then sort of once you get down to sort of just above the genitals, you know, down there and the sort of the waistband kind of area, that might be the bottom riff, maybe. It's thighs, but it's beneath genitals. Thighs. Yeah?

Yeah, it could be. I mean, I was imagining that there's still, like, the midriff itself is not usually like getting down to sort of pubis kind of area. So there might still be a region below. I think that there's a possibility that RIF exists all in the torso. And so you'd probably have to just get to that bit where you are starting to see pubes and stuff like that. And then that would be the lower rift. And then upper rift or high riff. The top riff could be just that part, I guess, above the belly, but where the ribs have begun.

But beneath Nipple. And then maybe once you hit Nipple, you're out of the Rift. Yeah, you're out of the riff, so. You've left the riff. You are now entering RIF. You've gone beyond the RELF. No one goes beyond the RIF. I mean, that's a great Moana reference that you, I guess, are not getting.

Oh, the reef. Yeah. No one goes beyond the Rift. No one goes beyond the Rift. And this is her trying, I guess, crop her top I mean what would you have to be

you would have to be some sort of might or louse or something that lives on the human body or

have have have Pixar had the nerve to do the cahoonish you know an animated

the cahonas to do an animated movie about pubic loss not yet Andy not yet you know who

are on a maybe a region that is being shaved and they have to flee the pubic area and you know make the long trek up past the riff

to the nipple hairs but there's not enough sustenance there and so they have to make the final big break all the way to the top of the head I think so yeah Yeah, I like that pubic lice migration. They flee. Yeah.

And so then their dad goes, within that, no one goes beyond the riff. Yeah. So they're trying to. He's saying, no, we're going. He's trying to guide them. We go back to the butt hair. and everybody's like, no, we're not going back there. He says, no one goes beyond the riff.

Yeah, great. And then they don't listen to their dad. He goes to the butt hair. I'll meet you with the butt hair. And when he gets there and the butt hair has also been waxed. Maybe he gets them all to go back and then he gets proven wrong. You know, and because especially when he exercised this authority like that, than to be humiliated.

There are rich tufts. I think he... He has to then... Far beyond the eye, I can see. He has to then somehow sacrifice him. He has to sacrifice himself somehow. He jumps into the anus. I imagine he jumps into the bottle.

Maybe there's like, maybe there's like a, some kind of like, you know, digestive worm that sticks its head out and they have to fight it. Oh. Great, really good. Really good. It's a movie about all the parasites in somebody's body. But then the person is also preparing for some kind of big fancy date or something like that, you know? Mm.

Wouldn't that be great? And then they get to Rootin at the end of the film. Oh, yeah. They're rooting a really hairy guy. And they're able to... Maybe, yeah, maybe somebody who has really poor hygiene, some kind of, some kind of Bushman or something like that, you know. Yeah, some sort of vile, filth, filth-based, but very sexy, irresisting. Yeah, oh, this actually, Andy, it's genuine, this is a movie.

This is a film. If we could, I mean, I look personally, I look forward to the meeting with investors when I take them through the idea. Well, they're taking, they're taking spec scripts again, I hear. Exactly. Movies are back, baby. I heard box office is up 20% on last year. I mean, this is good news. I mean, I'm wanting to go to the movies a lot.

I want to go a lot. I'm not. Are you going to the movies? I tried to start. a letterbox at the beginning of this year. And for the first month, I'll tell you what, I was logging everything.

And I was watching movies. I was becoming a movie guy, Andy. By Feb, I was starting to fall apart. I was starting to fall apart. I was starting to waver. I was like, oh,

you know, I watched one movie, and then I didn't log it for like six weeks. Starting to ebb in Feb. You would have, yeah, and then what,

and you did log it six weeks later? And then I just, Would you have even remembered a single detail? The title. Yeah. That'll do. That'll get you there? But then, yeah, I haven't been able to.

But there's some cheap cinemas near here where I live, where I could be going to see more movies during the day. I haven't seen a movie and a cinema for, I would say, two years probably. Yeah, it's embarrassing. It's pretty, really about. Pretty poor. I mean, I haven't seen Odyssey, so I feel pretty bad about that. Yeah, I feel bad about not having seen that.

You know, I have many regrets. I look forward to seeing it on an airplane sometime, you know? That's right. That's where I see most of my movies too. As Christopher Nolan intended. I also watch a lot of movies. Oh, like occasionally, any movies that I do see, I tend to watch streamed from somebody's Plex account, right?

and I watch it on my phone, on a bus, usually with about, with about, you know, two, three-day breaks in between. Yeah, great. I'll watch it like sort of 25 minutes at a time. Yeah. I mean, it is fun to imagine describing to these great directors how you watch their films. You know, to be able to torment. them in this way. Yeah, I think it would be a great thing for Christopher Nolan to have to face people who tell

him how they've watched it. Yeah, I think that would be a really good series. I had absolutely nothing to offer. I mean, I was... Well, that sounds like we need a, we need a listener to offer something, perhaps three words from a listener. Oh, I could go that for sure. Yeah.

This is perfect for the man who has nothing left. They're going to give you a unique perspective on a sketch. And this listener, Andy, who supports us, or at least supported us on Patreon, you know, like, I mean, we've had listeners come and go for so many years, and it's a beautiful thing for their, for any of them to touch. I have no idea whether or not Andrea still supports, and this is not supposed to be about that. I'm in the weeds here, Andy. I need help. Alastair, you are really struggling, man. I think what you want to say is that like Patreon supporters, they come into our lives, they stay for a time, we hope they get what they need, you know, and then sometimes they have to move on.

But the thing is, the thing is that we understand that at some point, you know, you're full, you get everything that you needed and then your body doesn't. You don't need to keep going to therapy, you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, you've healed or maybe you need to start going to therapy. I don't know, maybe you need the money. Yeah, that's what I mean to stop listening and then start listening. But the important thing is that we appreciate them all and we're so excited for them to continue their journey. Maybe to other patrons. Exactly.

Maybe they've gone to Finn versus History, you know. To mature into sort of bigger and better patrons. Yeah, yeah. The great, you know, super massive black hole at the heart of the galaxy. They've all fallen into that one. That's sucking them everybody in. Yeah. Yeah. Who can resist?

This is from Andrea Genualdi, who sent this in March 9th, 2022. And we are just going back a little bit. We are genuinely grateful for this contribution. It means the world. Thank you so much, Andrea. It means the world. And so, Andrea sent in three words. And I assume they're from a listener, although she doesn't mention whether or not there are.

but if it is from a listener, then I assume that that listener is her, which is kind of what we just do as a default these days when people aren't specific about which listener and whether or not it's from a listener. Maybe it doesn't matter to the listeners, but we have to get through this part of the podcast, you know? Like, I mean, I presume they've got nothing else going on, but for us, you know, we've got other podcasts to record. we need to have a way to just keep moving. Yeah, that's right. But, you know, the thing is that we did ask for three words from a listener, and maybe that's in our phrasing. That's the thing that is the thing that's stopping people from telling us all the information.

Maybe. Maybe. Yeah. Anyway, so, Andrea sent in three words. Would you like to try to guess what the first word is? The first word is... Um, earwig. Oh.

No. Accidental. Yeah, I don't think I was even close. Um, accidental. I mean, I didn't want to put a judgment on it. Yeah. Um, pregnancy. No, close though.

Tattoo. Oh, okay. Something to do with the body. Accidental. Tattoo. Hmm. Revenge. Close day.

Was that close? Yeah. Yeah, yeah. I think every new day is its own. Yeah. Revenge. Accidental tattoo day. Yeah.

Which is already such a good idea in itself. Sure. It feels like a Jim Carrey movie. Yeah. I mean, the 90s and Jim Carrey getting concepts for movies. What a golden era. Yeah, just to be in that great.

A guy who's like, I'll do it. They would give him the thinnest idea. And he's like, I would, I'll do it. I'll commit more than anybody's ever committed to, to that. I'll tell you what, I'll go big. Like, thanks, Jim. Yeah, I mean, it might have ruined him. I mean, either.

that. You know how like they say like the Joker, the Joker might have ruined? You know, it really affects your mind playing that, you know, might have affected Heath. Nicholson apparently had warned him. This might be a myth. But Nicholson, be careful what it does to your mind, you know, except he said it more like, you know, be careful what it does to your mind. I don't know. I can't quite do it. But, you know, but Jim Carrey might be the first, the only guy for whom the riddler ruined his mind. People are down on that movie. I haven't seen it since it came out, but I loved it.

And I thought Jim Carrey's riddler was really cool. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I thought it was really fun. I liked how he was squirming around when he was getting everybody's thoughts beamed into his brain. Do you know that he has that story where he, like, ran into Tom? Tommy Lee Jones at a restaurant. Yeah, it's the best story.

It's just like I can't sanction your buffoonery or something like that? Yeah, what a sentence. But I mean, I... Grumpy guy who can't handle any silliness. Well, indeed. I mean, I don't think, I don't know that... I don't think Jim should take that too personally. I don't know that Tommy Lee Jones has sanctioned much buffoonery in his life.

I don't know that he's capable of really sanctioning anybody's buffoonery. But if it did affect Jim, I want you to know that I sanction your buffoonery. I can sanction it and I will. I'll offer a buffoon sanctuary. In fact, buffoon sanctuary would be a great service to offer. Maybe a sort of an open air buffoon sanctuary. Yeah. Yeah, sort of like a, that has sort of tall fences so that they can't get out, but also predators can't get in.

Exactly. And it's just a safe, you know, safe space for just wackos and idiots. It's probably essentially like a gaited, a gated trailer park, a gated caravan park that you could have, where people whose buffoonery has led them to living in a caravan. Yeah. And this is a place that does keep them safe. It's interesting because actually it was Jim Carrey's buffoonery that led him out of living in a caravan. You know?

Really? Yeah. He grew up in a caravan. Very, very poor. And it was his goofing around that got him out. But like, you know, you live by the sword, you die by the sword. I imagine you you buffoon your way out of a caravan. Eventually, you're going to buffoon your way back in.

Sure. I mean, but yeah, it usually goes the other way around. You buffoon your way into a caravan. But, I mean, look, I'm still at risk of buffooning my family into a caravan. So, you know, I'm never, I'm never too far, and I'm getting increasingly close. To that wheeled, a house with wheels. I mean, it sounds too good to be true. That's right.

It sounds better than a regular house. Yeah. Let's take this show on the road, baby. Exactly. Now, look, do we want to try and do something else with accidental tattoo day? Yeah, I think so. I mean, it feels like we haven't really tapped into it. Accidental tattoo day.

I mean, it does seem to be a thing where, like, you know, in a trope where people will get really drunk and then go and get a tattoo. And do you think anyone's ever got really drunk and gone and got their tattoos removed? Gone and got... Oh, my God, that's... Yeah, that's a fun idea. I guess it's a heavily tattooed, like a bikey or something like that, who... gets wasted. I guess you could imagine

you could imagine somebody's some let's call it for what it is fuckheads wife gets home and she's drunk and she's had his name removed

from his thing I don't know why I thought that would be funny but I mean it just makes me think they've got a sort of a toxic relationship and made me a little bit sad for her. I mean, the fact that he was introduced as a fuckhead as well made me. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Okay, wait. But what else can you do? What else can you do? Like, you can get tattoos, you can get your ears pierced, you can get those ear holes, stretching things. Yeah. You can. I mean, drunken plastic surgery is.

an interesting idea. Yeah. As well. But we're going reverse. We're getting things removed, right? Mm. Hmm. Yeah.

Those tattoo parlors, they're often run by bikies, aren't they? They're often like a, you know, I think you can't open a tattoo parlor necessarily without sort of a gang of some sort coming in and saying, hey, where you're working for us or like this is our turt it's crazy that that's still a thing but you do hear about it what the like the gangs move into a tattoo studio and they're like you're our tattoo artist now yeah that kind of thing for some reason you haven't heard about that you haven't maybe it maybe it's not true maybe i made it it up maybe i dreamed it maybe i'm just wrong good old fashion wrong check check facebook to see if there's any targeted ads for that um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um

Andy, I like to think that there's the people who, like, and this is just taking accidental tattoo days straight, but that there are people that this exists and that, but we're following the people who have to organize accidental tattoo day. And which needs them to sort of manufacture accidents that lead to tattoos on people for all the participants. Because then you've got people who are conscious of accidental tattoo. day. Yes. Who are, of course, wary that accidents would happen. So you still have, you have to be tricking some of the most primed for tricking audience and then still get ink and sort of needles into their skin. Okay. And it's still be an accident. Is this keeping, is this to keep the industry going or is it just to make life that little bit more interesting, you know,

to keep us all on our toes that anybody could get a tattoo, you know, and then you'll have a story, you've got a story to tell. Well, it probably started with a guy accidentally getting tattooed by through a fall or something like that. Yeah, yeah. And that it ended up being, you know, sort of something that he spoke about in one of the best stories in his life and something that has kind of made. him an interesting person. And so he's trying to spread that joy through creating accidental

tattoo day and an area that if you walk through it, possibly in, you know, Baltimore or maybe, maybe this could be in Milan. I don't know where, where this is set, Andy. Maybe this is set in Hobart, Tasmania. Maybe it's like a like a like a, like a, like a, like a, a, like a, a, like a, thing. Like I'm amazed at Movember how it seems to be such an enormous phenomenon and they have all this money to advertise it. It seems like I'd be interested to know like what proportion of their funds raised go to paying for the ads. And also what whether like because there is it an awareness for men's health? They're doing awareness. Like where does the money? Like where does the money? go, what do you do with the money? Is it just, is it, is the ads? Maybe the ads are the awareness

so that you can just put all the money into ads. But then what's the actual men's health element except for just being like grow a mustache? I guess if you say men's health a bunch, then people think about men's health. I guess so. Men do have health. And you can probably have a few and then you can probably also put some information on your website. So there you go. Then you can generate add revenue. I don't mean to talk down a charity. I'm sure they're doing great stuff. It's just an interesting one.

I mean, it's been a real success good on them. Still contain... I think it actually brought mustaches back. Yeah. What about like a thing where you get a tattoo, like a charity, like a tattoo tober or something like that? Yeah, like we could do a month where you do get a tattoo. and somehow you raise money for something.

It's pretty good, pretty good idea. Raising awareness about tattoos? What, well, I mean. Face tattoos Friday. Men's health has been done. What about men's hair? That's it. Men's haircuts.

Men's length. Yeah. Uh. I mean, getting scalp tattoos to, to raise awareness about male, male boldness? Male baldness. That's really good. That's really good. Um, oh, are we, we'd already, we sort of, I mean, it's fine.

Yeah. All right, cool. That's a good idea. Yeah. I'll donate five bucks. Okay, yeah I mean most people are pretty aware of baldness Because you see it

But yeah, all right Yeah For For Arise awareness Of male baldness Um No I think it's good

Because you know It's a great It's great territory The head You know The hair The moustache These are the things that charities have been dancing around playing with for years.

For so long. Yeah. I mean, charities have wanted to have a reason to tattoo people for so long and then finally to find a place. Yeah. You know, because there's actually no stigma against skull tattoos, like, you know, scalp tattoos. It's just face tattoos where there's a stigma. Yeah. And get.

No one never saying, I'm not going to hire somebody who has scalp tattoos. No. And this is a great thing. It can be under your hair and be hidden away. Unless, of course, you go bald. That's right. And then... Well, that's what I mean, is it? And then you do go bald and it reveals your tattoo that says male baldness. I'll never go bald. Oh, I was too confident with that one. But also, why, you know, if somebody has lost their hair and you know that societally, that that's the thing that people kind of give people a hard to. time about it, whatever sometimes. You go, you can't besmirch them for having, for having a skull tattoo, a scalp tattoo. No. I wouldn't, I wouldn't besmirch them. Not for a second. Is that the right word? Besmerch? Maybe not. It's a great word. Sounds like a facial expression, a besmirch.

I'm going to take us through the sketch ideas. I think we need to wrap this. I think so, too. We started really strong and then I think we did, you know, Peter. and I'll take full responsibility for that. No, Andy, we're both here. We're both here. Okay, we've got Enter the Doctor Gone. This is the surgeon fight where they either both have to operate on each other's hernias or on or have to get a tumor out of one guy. There's different categories.

Yeah. We've got, wait, what is this? Tund under Mentaine. Oh, France. France Tunnel. Under Mountain. Oh, yeah, great. Breaking through with penis.

And then obviously the, it's the female prime minister and the, and the minors meet cute situation where they. She loved that bit. We've got two men enter, three men leave. This is the... We don't quite know what it is, but it's going to be good. We think it could be Frankenstein. Yeah, yeah. Some kind of Frankenstining battle, but it could also be they make a baby.

Great. They're not allowed to leave this thing until they make a baby. Yeah. Good. We've got media companies hiring former bullies of actors for viral marketing videos. You've got to do it. Makes sense. We've got all your bullies.

have been meeting up and hanging out based on their shared disdain for you, and you discover it late in life, and they thank you and then try to tear the flesh off your bones. Yeah, great. We've got getting a targeted ad for a product that you've only just conceived of in your mind. We've got future development for people who wanted Jetson-style future, but didn't get it, and including meals and pills and all the things you can do that

because you're giving them pills and you can put whatever you want in the pills. Yeah. You've got a company where you can buy a unique identity and voice. We've got pubic lice migration Pixar film. We've got the buffoon sanctuary. And we've got guys organizing accidental tattoo day. And then, of course, skull tattoos to rare his awareness of balding. finally somebody's doing it.

About male balding. We're getting people talking about male balding. Male balding. It's very exciting. Yeah. Alastair, well done. Well done. Thank you.

Well done to you. That was some good stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's go into the song. Ung, gung, gung, gung, gung, gung, gung, gung, gung, gung, gung, gung, gung, gung, gung, gung, gung. We did it, Andy. Alistair, do you want to tease any of the stuff we've been working on or do you want to not tease it? Not yet, Andy, because we've done that so many times.

Yeah, great. Let's not do it. Let's not do it. Let's not tease yet. Let's just tease once it exists. Okay, great. Check out Bobby Logg stories. Oh, yeah.

Check out my Instagram. I'm doing some Bolognazes. Can you Bolognaz? But it's really great. It's blowing up, baby. People are really getting on board. The next one, I've already filmed it, but I haven't edited it. But it's one of the worst-looking bolognaises I've ever seen in my entire life.

It's truly it. Most recently, the one you did cranberries, I don't think you acknowledged that it looked good. It looked like a good bollabets. Yeah, I was, I was, you know, Yeah, it definitely looked good, but it kind of was, you know, it's gelled up since. Oh, so you haven't finished it then. No, this one, this one's a heart eat, cranberry one's a heart eat.

Yeah, it didn't. I have been finishing all of them, and then this one's tougher. Yeah, oh, good luck to you, sir. Thank you so much, yeah. And listeners of two in the think tank, we love you. Love. You. Bye.

It sounded like you're about to make a bigger statement. No. Just love you. Okay, great. Thank you very much. We love you. Bye.