Two In The Think Tank - 56 - "UNDERTHROWN"

Episode Date: December 6, 2016

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Sketch, ideas, sketch, ideas, sketch, ideas, sketch, ideas, sketch, ideas, ideas, ideas, ideas, ideas, ideas, for sketches. Hello and welcome to, to in the think tank. The show where we try and come up with five sketch, ideas. I'm Andy. And I am Al. Matthews. And Alice, Trumbly Bridgel. And yeah, no, thank you.

Thank you for this. I really needed this. Thank you for all this. This is so good. I'm just really relaxing into this. Andy, have you had a hell of a week? Oh, I have had some week, Alice, to hear. Oh, yes.

Did you get any respect? Look, I don't know if I got afforded any particularly special level of respect. I've probably got sort of that baseline level of respect that you get just for wearing clothes and being outside. The default baseline. The default baseline in the social contract. Yeah, yeah. Background respect still hanging around from the big bang. That's all I got. Yeah, well that's good. I think

there's definitely an almost acceptable level of respect in that I would say. Would you rather earn respect, Alistair, or just have it by virtue of your birth, your high birth, no, your high... You're a lofty, something. I'm not a big believer in respect, because I think people... I respect that. People come to demand it and expect respect for things that they've done when they're still just a dumb person.

Right. You know what I mean? Like, I don't mean they're a dumb person. I just mean you're just a any old person. And then you've done things in your life and you just expect that those achievements or whatever you've done to be relevant to everybody and for them to show you the respect. Give me an example. So we're talking about somebody with a particular profession or an achievement like the world's highest pole vault. Like somebody who is, let's say

somebody who's designed three of the five major buildings in a city. Yep. Right. And they swan about the place. And then and then you meet them at a family reunion. Right. Right. And for some reason, you can't just talk to them that like there's some regular old Joe. You've got to talk to them like they're a successful person. Right. So can you say which buildings?

And they tell you the buildings. And you're like, I've done a shit in all three of those buildings. Great public toilets and only one of them. Fantastic. Yeah. I went up to the very top level of those, that building. and I did a shit. Well, that's in the toilet. That's how I would want to talk to about how me as a person, how we as humans really interact with buildings. It's yeah, we find their public toilets and then we get out there. Mostly. So, do you, so what would you, what do you really want from that person? You want to be able to connect with them just on a human level, right?

Without this artificial barrier, this sort of level of deference. Yeah, well I think that's probably what it is, is that it's them putting up a barrier for you connecting with them. Are there people that you do respect? I think I can respect skill, I can respect things like that, but I don't think as a person, like if I feel like a person wants respect from me, like as you know, like above and beyond,

then that makes me respect them much less. Yeah, yeah No, I totally understand right so you you respect the skill you can respect the work Right, but if it comes to that you know you talking to that person and they don't well really it probably comes down to if they don't Respect you and what you've done right like if they if they treat what you've done in your life as being less one than what you've done, they've done in their life, right? You're going to that looked at might be a lot harder to to to to dig on that vibe. Look, I just thereof. Maybe I just don't like any kind of power structures. Would you have respected Albert Einstein if you met up with Albert Einstein, right? At a say

at a dinner party, right? You Jesus Albert Einstein Hitler you're all there all the greats all the greats of them I'm not sure whether this is your party and you've invited them along or this is someone else's party and they've gone all right I want a Hitler Albert Einstein Jesus and I Like my roommate Alistair. I like to think that it was my party. And I was one of those people with, with the balls to just invite. And that's the thing.

These people, they're so famous, they probably never get invited. Yeah, right. They're just sitting around waiting for someone to invite them to a party. You know, they're like the sisters in the course. Remember that band, the, the, the chorus? I remember hearing them say that they never got asked out on dates because of their fame from being in the course and the course and their exceptional beauty. He said everybody was always so shy, afraid to ask them. And that's, you know, I'm just that guy who's not

afraid to ask them, but their Albert Einstein, Jesus and Hitler, and instead of asking them out on a date I'm asking them to come back to my place for a six pack of beers. Okay, I would like to see a sketch in which we see at least one of these characters receiving an invitation to a party, right? A dinner party. And then so maybe it's Jesus. Maybe it's Jesus and Albert Einstein living in the same house for some reason, okay? Yeah. And Jesus opens the invitation and says, we've got an invitation here to Alistair. He's having a dinner party. Do you know Alistair? Nice.

No. Oh, actually I get letters from that guy right now. I think he's just like a weird young upstart. Well I don't want to go, I don't want to go. I don't want to go, right? Well, I mean, you could just ignore it. You could just ignore it. I'm gonna have to write back on it.

I have to come up with some kind of an excuse. Because that is rude. That is rude and that is not me. I guess if it's Jesus, he would feel bad. He wouldn't be able to just ignore it. Because he's supposed to be, you know, this guy with infinite kindness and things like that. So, would he get Albert Einstein to send the letter saying that they can't make it?

I think so because I think Hitler. I think Jesus would be too easily manipulated into like... Into coming along. Into coming along making your party seem cooler than it is because the son of God is there. So you could guilt him a lot. You could really guilt Jesus into stuff. making your party seem cooler than it is. Yeah. The son of God is there. Right? So you could guilt him a lot. You could really guilt Jesus into stuff. You think Jesus is really susceptible

to emotional blackmail? Yeah, absolutely. That's why he's got a team up at Einstein to get out of the house. He's so smart, he could come up with an excuse for anything. Yeah, to get out of this party. He has all that brain power, right? What if instead of using it to come up

with a theory of relativity, I used it to come up with a theory of relatively good excuse to get out of a dinner party. With some bloke, they've never met. And then it's just you and Hitler, and that's gonna be difficult. Maybe Hitler calls up their house, right? It calls up how button jesus says did you get an invite to this?

This thing are you guys gonna go because I'm not going if you're not going and And they both say they're going That's a trick Hitler and then he goes and he's just they're going to trick Hitler and then he goes and he's just stuck with me. What if it's a fancy dress party and Hitler goes, what would Hitler go dressed up as? Because can't go as an Nazi. Dorothy the dinosaur. Dorothy the dinosaur. Hitler goes as one of the Wiggles

That's so funny It's it's okay. Here's the sketch It's a fancy dress party Hitler's been invited He shows up. He's dressed up one of the Wiggles Like one of the old Wiggles and one of the new Wiggles Hitler shows up at a fancy dress party party. He's dressed as Hitler, right? He's dressed in a Nazi costume

and everyone's really disappointed that he hasn't made any effort, right? If you're just gonna come as yourself, right, don't. Yeah, that's right. That's the other worst person at the party. Yeah. I'm usually that person. Oh, so maybe he shows up dressed as Hitler and somebody's like, wow, that guy's Hitler costume. I mean,

it's very offensive, but it's amazing, right? And I'm really like impressed by the work the effort is done. And then someone's like, no, that's actually Hitler. And they're like, well, now I'm well now I'm really disappointed by the amount of work he's done. I'm well now I'm really disappointed by the amount of work he's done But I'm impressed at the at the caliber of guests The host is being able Yeah, you know what now a heat Hitler even more yeah, yeah, I imagine this okay. This is the thing that really wants me up Right everyone like there's all these things that go around like Hitler had only one ball right there was one recently that like like, Hitler had a micro penis, and you're supposed to be like,

oh, what a, I mean, how am I supposed to react to that? I'm supposed to be like, ha ha, Hitler, what a joke of a man, right? Because that's not appropriate, right? Am I supposed to be like, oh, that explains everything, because he had a small penis. No wonder he wanted to take

over all of the world, has compensating for his small penis. I like, well, a lot of people have a small penis and no overtake all of the world. Don't tar the more with this brush. That's true. Right. I mean, as if people who have, like, I think micro-piness is probably a disability size penis.

Yeah, and actually I, this is also, I think that has been groaning my gears, Alistair. Is that micro-penis has really slipped into comedy as a punchline over the last two years, right? And I genuinely think that people with a micro-penis, that would be horrible for them, right? It's bad enough. And now I'm doing it.

I'm now I'm being a joke. But like, you know, that is a thing that I imagine you're very insecure about. And then for it to be commonly out there as a joke, I don't think it is cool. No, no, no, look, Andy, we've, look, I think we just, we've just, you should punch up.

I mean, let's, let's, let's, let's punch down. Let's, yes, let's punch up to the penises above us. Yeah. People with a really pie painless towering over us. Looming, looming, creating shadows under which we are. We are all in anyway. I still feel I think I'm still making it worse somehow. But anyway, micro penis users, I mean, in jokes, you've been called out.

And I think we should create a segment where it's where you've been called out. You've been called out. So five sketch ideas and one call out. One shot. One shot. Yeah, we're now becoming, I need to look, I've written down Jesus and Einstein lived together, get in invite from some nobody's party to some nobody's party and Jesus convinces Einstein to get him out of going.

I think that's great. I think that's it. I think that's a sketch. Yeah. I think maybe Einstein comes up with something about like, well, maybe we could say that we're trapped in the, of in horizon of a black hole, you know, that's actually impossible to get out of. Right?

I say, I'm sorry. Nobody's going gonna believe that Einstein. It's watertight. Yeah, you can't actually, no one's gonna say, no, can't you, can you get out of it? By the time you get this. By the time you get this message, possibly thousands of years will have passed. Yeah, but thank you for the invite kind regards Jesus and Einstein and Hitler put my name on it. Yeah But to answer your question from before whether or not I would Respect Einstein. Yes, I think what I would like about being around Einstein is that I think He would be very much just a guy. I get the feeling he was pretty chill.

Yeah. I don't think he took himself too seriously. You know, he's not one of these people that expects too much from the world. Yeah. I think that's kind of what Trump gives off a vibe, but it's like everything's got to be gold. You know, that was not a shit with a whole like... Ah, gold plated shit. Like that's gotta be like a mental illness.

Impalence of some kind. That makes you think that everything has to look like expensive. Like yeah, like society's version of success. But also that like your idea of what looks expensive is something that is covered in gold. Yeah. Right? Like that's not good taste.

No, no, but it's like, it's like, that's not even really expensive taste. That's just really weird taste. But it's broad. It's broad in that, like, if you show that, I think, yeah, I think that if you showed a gold elevator to most people, any culture in the world, that is the most likely thing to make it seem like it's a very expensive and good elevator. Because the weight of a gold elevator would mean that you would need a lot of disposable income to fund the electricity to lift it up and down people are saying that guy is doing really well, if we can have a gold elevator.

And if it fell, the gold, if it fell down the elevator shaft, the gold is so malleable that, you know, it probably wouldn't be very good at saving your life. It would just crumple. It would just crumple. You would just be. But then, then, automatic sarcophagus, right? Wait, what's that? sarcophagus is what they would put the Egyptian mummies in.

You know, so like I believe that Tudent Karmann had a gold sarcophagus sort of sculpted around his face. So you're hopefully your elevator tumbles freefall, 50 stories, right? Oh yeah. And the whole thing collapses, right, folds up into this neat little box around you and maybe even your face is kind of like left as an indentation in the top there. Oh, like in the carbonate kind of thing. Yeah, frozen in carbonites, like an instant sarcophagus.

sarcophagus. I think there's not enough processes for, you know, for the, you know, like life decisions that we make about the end of our lives, you know, burial or what's the one when you burn up? Chromation. Chromation, things like that, that are built into appliances. Sorry, I should have said embarrassment, that would have been funny.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, that would have been, you know, unfortunately, you didn't, and here we are. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, none of these things are built into that your appliances, they're always a thing that you have to do, do like you know, so you've got to have a coffin and a fridge They seem like they could just be the same thing, you know, so you know, it's you know

I'm a you know a phone like a smart phone is a is a watch. It's a map. It's a computer You know, it's a phone all that kind of stuff, right? But but a coffin is just one that's single use device. I think it would be great if at the end of your life you got buried in your fridge, right? Because a lot of deceased people, right? Now somebody's got to come around, right? Maybe they've been dead for weeks.

Somebody's got to clean out the fridge, right? That's going to be gross, right? Just open it once, check the body in, right? Close it, bit a tape around. Absolutely. Into the ground. That's so nice. Okay? It's bad enough having to mourn,

no, the loss of a loved one without having to put on those rubber gloves and like, open that thing, that's just that stink of it, especially if the electricity's been cut off, right? And things are really gone bad. Yeah, like that bottle of milk that's inflated, you know, it's like, it's still not burst, but it's just in the beginning.

That's not good, that's not good. And you pick it up and you're like, you're so scared, it'll explode. Absolutely. You're, you're now dealing with, with a, like a chemical contamination. Yeah. Possibility. Yep. So, um, look, is that something, is there something in that? I feel like there's something in that. I'm not sure like whether or not it's a, it's an advertisement for multi-use. Yeah, or... We're cramming.

Come down to Jimmy's appliances. We're, what we're doing is we're cramming different appliances together. To follow in the success of the iPhone, cramming other appliances together. What about, sorry, I'm changing it. Yeah, no, that's fine. That guy was great though.

Wow, look at these appliances. I'm just going down appliances, you know, for some reason I'm yelling in the ad. That's the ad, that's ads. That's ads, yeah. But what if it was like maybe at a funeral home, right, where they're going through the range of options and the different prices and that sort of thing,

well, like doing the pros and cons. And like at some point in this this funeral thing they're like, and have you organized, so you're going to need somebody to take care of their affairs, have you organized for someone to read the probate, a will, and and executive to do this, and who's going to clean out the fridge? Yeah, well, all we haven't thought about that yet. Take all the time you need, this is something often that a lot of family struggle with. Who's going to clean out sort of all the stuff in between the cushions on the couch and things like that? Have you thought about that?

Which one do you hate more, the couch or the fridge? Yeah, all like, you know, the scrubbing between the tiles in the bathroom? Because, you know, we've got a new service where we can crumple your whole house over your father's dead body. Yeah, we just demolish the whole thing. And then we compact it into basically a six foot hole. Yeah. And then grind it all up all of it you save money on You know on you know burial and coffin costs and like that and You know the house is knocked down the property is now ready to To start again. You don't have all those old memories that you didn't want. Yeah, that smell that smell that old person smell Yeah, you can just totally get rid gets rid of that yeah

smell that's smell that old person smell yeah just totally get rid gets rid of that yeah yeah a funeral home director who uses the word yuck a lot yeah yeah how you guys doing so I've just been doing your dad's makeup and well he is he was looking pretty yuck it was yuck it was I've had to put so much product in his hair because Ew I mean his scalp was so looking so unhealthy Hold was he Wrinkly and stuff like

60 oh my god Ew, he Oh my god. Ew. He... I think that's a sketch. The really disgusted funeral home. Ew. I mean, I did it, but I did not have a good time. Look, and thank you for those clothes that you sent to have a buried in, but I am sorry, no.

Uh, uh, yuck. Look, I got them, I just put on my own, took off my own loafers, put them on him. He's not getting buried, I mean, not getting buried in those, the re-box. There's an extra cost that's been reflected in the, but you know what, it's just, it's like it's a cost for you to have self-respect. Yeah, and now a lot of, now I noticed that you've opted for the burial.

I'm going to go ahead and recommend a cremation. It's just less yuck. I don't even think about him just in the ground. The worms and stuff. He's bad now. Imagine like three or four weeks in a row. When it's stomachache, when it's stomachache, it'll flates and then bursts, because of that. We're just burning that shit. We're going into summer. Just, just earn into the ground. Spread again, you know?

Fertilize the soul, fertilize inside of your urn, whatever you want to do. Yeah. Right? Oh, don't like, you know those people who like go and spread their stuff like it like on the property and stuff like that? Yuck, animals are are gonna eat that accidentally.

What are you doing? Starting the ocean I swim there. Look I think you should cremate them and then you should burn the ass. Like if there's something that if you could just like squeeze it into a rock and then throw that rock into a volcano that's what I would see. Actually you know anyone in like a Pacific Rim that's what I would suggest. Actually, do you know anyone, they don't like a, on the Pacific Rim of Fire? You do, great.

Just scatter it. No, I know, I know a guy with an air butt hot air balloon, and he charges fire. I haven't had that. Just drop that in. I know, it seems really unsafe, but he charges a lot of hot air balloons above volcanoes. And he can drop that right in.

Yeah. Don't worry, I got this. I got this. I'm going to make this as less gross as possible. Is your character a little bit of feminine? No, no, no, he's just... No, I would never do that. Plus, I don't believe in a feminacy.

Oh, yeah There you go. As If people got on to calling people a feminazze yet No, no But you know, but I'm just putting that out there if you're if your particular hate group is looking for a new buzzword I feel like a feminazi I could maybe maybe I was being in a feminazi alistair by picking you up on whether or not you were being a feminine. Well, but it's also okay to be a feminine.

It is. Absolutely. But could be a bit of a bit of appropriation. No, of course. In appropriation. In appropriation. More like. Yeah. What if Einstein was really insecure, right?

He was one of those people who's like written the theory of relativity, but he's like that's not very good You probably won't like it. Yeah, I like like he you know, he's come up with this I guess the theory is that is it in the theory of relativity that the thing comes up about how The speed of light is the fastest thing. Yeah. Yeah, so that's you can't exceed the speed a lot. I'm pretty sure that's him Yeah, right and so he's like, oh look. I know I sound certain in the paper when I've written it down, but Someone's gonna just prove it. I know it. I They told me you know when you write it down you got to write it down as this is you know e equals nc squared I wanted to say he might equal mc squared right I think he is equal to m

It seems according to the mathematics but like it's not me like I'm not committed to it. Yeah sorry sorry Newton but you're Do you mind if I just like your theory of motion is like it's great, it's great, I love it, I love it, but I have another one and I think it could be fun if maybe we tried mine for a bit. Look, I apologize, I don't mind standing on the shoulders of giants, I just don't want to step on their toes Or but even more like it would be more obnoxious if it was like do you guys like it?

Do you like do you like my theory of relativity? Hey guys a roto theory of relativity like my theory of relativity. Hey guys, I wrote a theory of relativity. Well, like post about it on Facebook. He's somehow like some humble brag about it. Like, oh no, oh no, the muffins, these, these, these, these, these, these, these, these, these, these, these, these, these, these, these, these, these, these, these, these, these, these, these, these, these, these, these, these, these, these, these, these, these, these, these, these, these, these, these, these, these, these, these, these, these, these, these, these, these, these, these, these, these, these, these, these, these, these, these, these, these, these, these, these, these, these, these, these, these, these, these, these, these,

these, these, these, these, these, these, these, these, these, these, these, these, these, these, these, these, these, these, these, these, these, these, these, these, these, these, these, these, these, these, these, these, these, these, these, these, these, these, these, these, these, these, these, these, these, these, these, these, these, these, these, these, these, these, these, these, these, these, these, these, these, these, these, these, these, these, these, these, these, these, these, these, these, these, these, these, these, these, these, these, these, these, these, these, these, these, these, these, these, these, these, these, these, these, these, these, these, these, these, these, these, these, these, these, burnt my muffins while I was going to collect, you know, my Nobel Prize. My Nobel Prize for the theory of relativity. My second Nobel Prize. All the Nobel laureates present will be so upset by my burnt muffins. How about I don't smell like burnt muffins? Yeah, I'm the smartest man on earth, but I'm also a huge idiot. More like I think I think I think that's a funny like Einstein doing Facebook posts maybe do we need to see someone else like again you know it's it's it's a flip but is it funny to see someone else who is friends? Maybe Jesus is friends with I'd started on Facebook. Jesus is an I'd start. I think I think a

series of sketches that a Jesus and I'd start. I'm up for this. I don't know. I see it like I see a whole TV series. Yeah, and on that adult swim. Right. And you know, it's IQ and EQ, you know, because I feel like Jesus had a really high emotional question. I like you and EQ. But so Jesus is reading Einstein's Facebook posts and he's really. Facebook posts and he's really, no. A Kia SUV is capable of taking you far, but when you use it locally to help your community, you go even further. Whether that's carrying cargo,

bringing your team with you, ready, or navigating new terrain. Power up your capability with the right Kia SUV. Do more with the Kia Sportage, Kia Telluride, Kia Serrento, or Kia Salto's. Kia. Movement that inspires. Call 800-333 or Kia for details. Always drive safely. It's just disgusted by all the humble brags and that sort of thing.

Great. Maybe even confronts Einstein about it. of thing. Maybe even confronts Einstein about it. I like it. Yeah, no, I think that's, I think that's, look, I think that's the sketch. I think look, I feel like some, our sketches have been like a bit broader in this, in this, like, like, like for more a mass market. Maybe. Well, I mean, we're using big, big, big names, you know, none of our references are too obscure. No, no, yeah, we've got a lot of, we've got a lot of big casting We've casted some pretty big players and some of these sketches, you know, I mean obviously we're thinking about getting the Hemsworth brothers to play Jesus and Einstein

So that's why yeah, maybe All all men again. All men. What's what's that joke? What's what I thought, yeah, maybe. Old man again, I think, old man. What's that joke? What's a, something way? What's a, what's a, what's a, what's a, Hemingway? What's a Hemingway? Is that the joke?

What's a, what's a hen way, cot, cost? What's a, something, and then you're like, oh, about 1450 or something like that. You remember the cross that joke? Oh, what's a John, no, not a John Conway but a John. No no but there is it's a Conway. It's a guy. It was in the Simpsons. It was in when they were doing like that that special but I think that's what's a Tim Conway? Right. About 350 pounds. See that's a reference to another joke. Anyway I don't know why I brought it up because you love

the hymns worth. Oh, it was going to be what's a hymns worth about seven, seven million of movie. Anyway, you're welcome. But you're answering the question, what's a hymns? You're right. What's a hymns worth are about $13 per leg. 13. Yeah, there you go. Him and your trousers. But when you were doing that character answering, were you the person who runs the sewing company?

No, it was Chris Hemsworth. So Chris Hemsworth, Hemspants is Joe. And you go to him for a while. You ask what's the Hemsworth? And you go after ask him About what's a ham is worth And he gives you information about about the worthy the worth the cost of getting your trousers him Yeah, that's what happens in that scenario I'll say you got you got to the bottom of it well done

No, you got it out of me all right. I was trying to be all coy about it, but you That's about time. You were relentless. You were dogged in your pursuit of the truth. Do you think I'd make a good like FBI agent? Yes Yes, you know what you're the first you're not the first person to say yes FBI federal bureau Of investigation FBI, federal bureau of investigation. Bureau being a French word, right? Yeah, the desk. Yeah.

Meaning desk. Yeah, with the French. Yeah. Well, bureau, I think it can also be an office maybe. Oh, really? Yeah, in French. Well, say that would be very confusing. Well, I'm going to the desk.

What does he mean? Does he mean the office? Where he's desk is What does he mean? Does he mean the office? The desk is or does he mean the desk in his office? Well, so confused. I was so confused. His wife is like always panicking. She doesn't know. Like, where is he? Where is anyone seen? anyone seen my husband? Is he at the office? I'm looking in the office, but he could be sitting at his desk. I mean, I could go to his desk, or he could be somewhere in this office.

I think I'll walk around the office first, just to see. I'm trying to, in my mind, my mind is racing to try and find a way for this to be a sketch about the French Revolution. And I'm having a lot of trouble, Alistair. All I wanted was to be that source of confusion was the reason for the collapse of the French. So what happened in the French Revolution? The French, is it Vitchie's state? No, that was something else.

Well, in the French Revolution, the people rose up, right? Just regular people. Regular people? Any of it? Me? The peasants? Aristocrats? Well, I think there were some aristocrats who sort of saw the writing on the wall and managed to get on the right side of the revolution.

But it was like, you know, if people's thing and then they cut the head off a whole bunch of people, including the king and the queen of the time. Was that Mary Antoinette? Mary Antoinette and Louis the 16th. Wow, so they just got into the castle. I guess they didn't have the secret service back in those days. They would have had people with big long sticks with metal. It was a really big castle, right? A lot of doors. Way too big. I know, but you know, once... And also servants, right? And do you think the servants would have been fighting? I think that's the weak point. You know, I think I think you get the servants on board.

Like, oh, oh, like if you're the rebels, if you're the... If you're the rebels, you get the servants, if you're, if you're the rebels, you get to serve as the servants on board because they're downtrodden, they probably had the king more than anybody. That's true. I mean, you know, when, when you're the king, you're not really, I can't, I imagine in order to really, I imagine, sorry, I'm not the king. I'm not speaking very experienced here. No, huh, but I think I think that when you're the king, in order to enjoy being king Yes, you you don't act in a way that's that suggests you're you're being Oh aware that you're going your one day Gonna not be king because the people have overthrown You're acting like like you're you're being king like you're gonna be king Yeah, I think you got a're you're being king like you're gonna be king. Yeah, I think you got a king

You got a king like you're gonna be king forever King it like you stole it. It's like love like you've never been hurt. Yeah king like Never be a revolution. Yeah, yeah Otherwise, what's the point? What's the point of being the king being a king going around being nice to everybody, people were gonna say, yeah, sure he was the king, but he wasn't really like Be the king. Be the king, like you took the position through a military coup. Yeah. And so you're just really enjoying it.

And so at one point, those, yeah, you're gonna piss off a few servants. Sure. Spit in Adam, criticizing them. And what is this? What is this? what is this? Let me just... What is this? You call this a croc mis here? You call this a croc mademoiselle?

Get out of my face like that. And then that guy just holds that grudge in the back. He's like, well, I used to like him and now you are on my shit list, king like that. And then when the people come knocking at the doors, you go, he's in there. I mean, that's all you need. Well, that's all you need. And I think if there's any kings or future kings listening,

sort of symbols as I call them, just keep that in mind. I think in a way, if your people don't rise up and overthrow you and cut off your head, you've been kinging wrong. Yeah. Like you got to be all the king you can be, right? And that is a king who doesn't apologize. All right. You know, Gaddafi, now there was a king.

That man was a king. I mean, he was a dictator, a military dictator. It was a military dictator. I think he was, yeah. Yeah, I mean, buddy, you know, but he was a military dictator, like he was a king. I think, I think, is there like something in this, like a version of like an entourage kind of a thing,

but we're talking to Louis XVI, right? Yeah. And like, and it is basically, 16th, right? Yeah. And like, and it is basically, maybe he is being interviewed sort of in his cell before he goes and gets his head cut off, and he's sort of justifying some things, and he's talking about how like, yeah, how basically he, that's how he knows he was doing it right, is because they're coming to cut his head off

It's a good sign, right Wouldn't change a thing Sorry, you're hey no Croc Madam was ill croc was your is a cheese Toasted cheese sandwich. Yeah, crock monsure is the cheese, it's got the bachamel sauce, it's fried, and sometimes deep fried. I had one the other day that was deep fried, and that was intense. Yeah.

Like, it was so crunchy. Where did you get it from? I got it from that new place that's like accent tomahawk or shovel. Yeah, I haven't had their Crocs. Clohama. You know, when you're familiar with Croc Miseries that you start calling them Crocs, that's what they call them in hospitality. They go, are you getting the Croc?

Great. So it's not like they call it Croc Manger. Manger Croc. My name is Manger Croc. You can drop, you know, just don't know. I'm not going to miss you croc like that but but then if you go to the French place where Indiana works you can get a croc Monsieur, croc Madame Mazzal and then there's another one. But and El Presidente croc. Yeah, but but this one

one of them has mushrooms, one of them is vegetarian. I think maybe so I think maybe one has vegetarian like it has mushrooms and ham and another one just has mushrooms And but also has the cheese and the best amount of like kind of shit, you know a nice sourdough probably But yeah, I really like that sketch. I think that sketch. It's just basically like It's another big name as well big name King of France King of France Pre pre like you know, we're in the midst of the revolution. It was during the French spring. Have they stormed the Bastille yet? I would say they've post-storming of the Bastille, which I don't know really what that is, but I'm assuming it's people and the Bastille is a place. Bastille was a prison. What they released

all the criminals? I think they were a lot of political prisoners that they can get locked up in there And I think yeah, but I bet you they would have accidentally released a few Pick pockets on the street Friends of the place All guys down here you like Wish we done cover king can you put the head back on the king put that? Oh, we what we need is a guy who knows how to got they control these people Well, what we need is a guy who knows how to control these people. Like a real dictator.

Well, that's pretty much what happens a lot of the time. So, I call Rob's Pierre sort of became the quite a brutal leader of the revolution. And, you know, quite dictatorial in style. A lot of people would say. And then, when it up, himself getting his head chocked off. And then, I think eventually, they got Napoleon. And he wasn't retiring, chap. No, no. It must be strange being, like, being from an old culture, like, for the French.

Yes. You know, it's not super old. It's not super old, but it's like, it's definitely older than, what way to strrian culture is here. Sure, right? Yes. But where there's a precedent that's been set by the same peoples of your country, where they have stood up to their leaders and taken them down when they have been bad. Well, yeah, and the French are still famously up for a riot, I think. I think they've had plenty since then.

Always take into the streets. That's why they don't get fat, because they're always rioting. That's right, why do French women don't get fat? Well, you know, manning the barricades. Yeah, they're there. When you drag in the furniture out into the street to build a bloody pire to burn the local mayor.

There's just something about. It's incidental exercise. You've got to get it where you can. It's proximity to Molotov cocktails. It's just, you don't realize how many... It's traffic, it's traffic, it's just you burn by lifting and filling, tearing rags. It's like the paleo, right? You try and live like a caveman. Well, this is a kind of a diet where you live like a French revolutionary.

Yeah. I think. And, you know, hauling on that rope to pull up the blade of the guillotine. Right? That's heavy. That basically is gym equipment. In fact, in fact, that is exactly one of those gym things where you're, you know, you're lifting those weights with that rope that goes over. Yeah. Counting off heads.

It's a head day. Look, I've put that one down because I think the moment the title is French women don't get fat because they're always rioting. But you understand it's basically that because I think that that could even work as stand-up or something like that, that just the idea of describing that. But I think as a, it almost feels like it cheapens it to just put it into a fitness video, but that is a format in which you could put this into. Totally good. French Revolutionary Fitness regime.

Yeah. I'll write that down, since we're right in broad sketches. It's a fitness revolution, Alistair. Yeah. Sorry. No, no, no, wait. I've got another one. You'll over. Throw. No, I don't, I'll go to another one. You'll over throw.

No, I don't, I don't go to another one. Oh, but abs of a steel, storming of the abs of steel, fast steel, abs, abs, abs, abs, but they've still, best, yeah. You know, but a lot of people throw, you know, for fitness. Yep, do they? Actually, I think throwing is a big part of fitness. Do you think so? No, I reckon you must burn a lot of kilojoules throwing.

I think it's the fetching where you burn the kilojoules. Yeah. It's lugging that huge body you're always around and rather than... I don't know what. So that's not the project, aren't it? It's the dog that gets fit, not the owner. Yeah, maybe you're right. But overthrowing.

Oh, overthrowing? Yeah. What an underthrowing. Underthrowing. That's where you find a leader, right? And you get, without them really sort of against their will, you all get behind them and you raise them up to be a dictator. I've been under throne.

I've been under throne. Wait, so is that, wait, under throne does make it sound like somebody's built a throne underneath you? Yeah, so that is the other sense in which you've been underthrowed. All these people get a we're going to rise up with you on the top. I guess you could, I guess in a country where where that, you know, where they're known for toppling leaders and cutting off their heads. It's like this kind of weird reverse like what's our political system? Democracy.

But where, but like, well, it's kind of, it's like a reverse dictatorship where you're forcing people to become leaders. Yeah, yeah. I think in a very early episode, we talked about the reluctant president. No, absolutely. I think that that's, I do think that that's a, But this is more like a popular movement.

And that one, I think he was sort of picked against his will. Yeah, kind of like, you know, he would, he would keep saying things to try to not, when, but then he would get it anyway, because, but, but with this one, I think you could spring it on people. Yeah. You know, like, you wake up and you're sitting on a, like, you know, at first go to sit down on your, on your desk chair. Like you get to work and see if you wear a new tie and you're about to sit down at your bureau. And, uh, and as you sit down, I'm confused at your office. Oh, sorry. No, no, no. I mean, at the chair of the, your desk, right? Yeah, yeah. But it's also, yeah, it's the bureau in your bureau.

So it's like theushka burrow on no, sorry when I mean your bureau in your bureau I don't mean your office in your desk. So you work at the FBI. No No, forget it. You know what? Anyway, you're about to sit down at your desk and and you know instead of that sweet trick Where you pull the chair out from underneath somebody? You push your chair under it. And it's a throw. You do pull it out, yeah. You do pull it out, then you push a throne underneath, and suddenly he's killed.

But not the throw. Yeah, I've been under thrown, and then, like, and then quickly he's got to make some decisions, you know, and then, and then the people are all just waiting with hatchets and, and torches and things like that. And then if they're not the right decisions that help all the people, and then he, and then he gets taken down Burn him! D'aw shit!

Feels kind of a multi-piphany, you know? Feels very multi-piphany when you said burn him like that and that was a burn him! Well that's what you go And what about the rich? What shall happen to them? Ah, they shall... Receive text, right? Rece receive text burn him. I mean text I mean Breaks from text breaks. I'll the king Was glorious later. Oh, man. I'm gonna write this down. I know it's just it's dumb, but

Well, I think it's just dumb, but it's a sketch. Well, I think it's just that under throwing concept. It's kind of like, it feels like a playground thing where like somebody's it, you know, you don't wanna be it, right, but for some reason everyone's like, you're it, what, the king, oh shit. But is there a, is there like, is there like a playground thing that is more like that? Because it, the person who is it, is kind of like...

Chasing you. Is there a version of being it where everyone else... Or everybody's chasing one person that seems unfair. Stacks on? Yeah, it kind of is like, sex on, but sex under. Stacks under. Lion us. But like, they build you up by. Yeah, they build you up.

What sense would that be ever be relevant? Like, why would you want to, if you were a bunch of kids, why would you want to, I guess if you wanted to get that kid in trouble, but then you're not really anymore in trouble than all the other kids underneath. Like the only person who's not in trouble is the person at the very bottom. I think in terms of under-throwing people in general,

in a broader sense, not a primary school sense, but I think it would happen in a situation when there have been so many revolutions that now everyone's just like the writings on the wall, nobody wants to be the king. Yeah, that's what I was suggesting. Right. Yeah, that's exactly what you'd said and I've not listened. Pretty much the energy where people are getting slow, like ladies are getting slow and

like that. But I think it was really a lot of summer. You're more eloquent in me, so in a way, it's, you know, for a king. If you missed it Probably other people would have missed it. No, you have a tendency not finished sent to me I missed things and I'm the one sitting opposite you supposedly doing the project with you I'll imagine the people that are hundreds of miles away. Oh, who can't even hear your voice What chance do they have Andy? We are technically we have six great

You are you happy to can you take me through them like... Take my hand and basically lead me. Take my hand. Hand. Hand me through some... Slame is a raobloids. Take my hand and lead me to salvation. That's French Revolution, Alistair.

Oh my God, we're back. Okay, so number one, we got Jesus and Einstein lived together. They get an invite from some sort of a lot of solutions for you. They come back around to some nobody's party. Great. And Jesus has to convince Einstein to get him out of going because Jesus is so easily emotionally manipulated because he's endlessly good. Yes. emotionally manipulated because he's endlessly good. Yes. At least that's his public, you know, that's how he's publicly perceived. In a way he's like Matt Stewart from Do Go On.

Do you think when Jesus died and rose again, he really had just gone off Facebook and then he came back on again a couple of days later because he just couldn't not get the update. He just wasn't on the scene for a few days. Yeah, it was just missing out on anything. He wasn't getting any involved into any stuff. You just let him fuck it. Anyway. Anyway, that was good.

A funeral director who thinks everything is gross. Things are gross. Sorry, you mentioned Metsuit from DoGo on. Yeah, no, I did. Because I think that he has got a real kindness about him. He does. And that you can not easily emotionally manipulate him, but you could get him to buy things off you.

Is that ever happened? Yeah, like if people call him up and ask for charity or if you were to release an album, let's say Andy, Mets Stuart would definitely buy one. Right, I'm were to release an album, let's say Andy right Matt Stewart would definitely buy one great I'm gonna release an album. Yeah, especially if you called call them And said Matt just releasing a new album special edition is gonna be coming out Obviously it's three times as expensive as yeah regular edition now Can I put can I rely on you to buy one of those my six of those yeah? Oh, yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Good guy great podcast line you to borrow one of those. I six of those. Yeah, oh yeah, yeah, good guy.

Great podcasting on. It's called Doo Go On. You should have him listen. And his phone number in case you've got anything to sell. So yeah, because anyway, don't take advantage of him though. No. Yeah. He's a real nice guy.

And that's what I'm saying that we wouldn't do that. But obviously, there's got to be, at least I've all the people that listen to us. There's got to be at least I have all the people that listen to us, there's gotta be at least one scum. Bag, scum bag. Okay, number two is the F funeral director who thinks things are gross. Ew. Ew.

Oh, I did your dad's hair to this morning. Ew, his scalp. Is that too offended again? I don't know. I don't know. I think it would be just as funny without any a feminacy. Well, I didn't intend for it to be a feminacy. Right. It's just ew.

It's just a word ew. Yeah. Number three, we've got Einstein Facebook posts. This is where, so we're back to kind of Jesus and Einstein live together. We're basically slowly building an Einstein and Einstein live together. We're basically slowly building an Einstein and Jesus show here. Yeah. And Einstein is kind of quite insecure. And he also does like Facebook post where he had a humble brags. Yep. I know I'm going to my Nobel Peace Prize and I still spilled mustard on my suit. Everyone's gonna think I'm the dumbest story in the long thing.

And we got then we got a king who's in his cell before he gets his head cut off and And then he's talking about well, you know If you're not king and like in a way that gets the the people to You know to overthrow you then you haven't king King. You're not Kinging at all. You didn't King. It's basically the King's life philosophy. King's life. Yeah.

French women don't get fat because they're always rioting. With the possibility of it being the French Revolution Fitness regime thing, but it could just be just talking about why, yeah, sure, they eat all the cheese they want. They eat nothing but bread and oily vegetables and it's just butter, they just eat butter. And then they take to the streets. And then they take to the streets. And they chop off some hits.

And then we got under throwing leaders, which is a man who gets a throne pushed under him and made leaders. This is in a country like France, where they tend to overthrow a lot of leaders, tend to cut off their heads and things like that. And then where nobody wants to be leader anymore, and people are basically being forced to be leader.

And then a bit of a coup d'état. Coup d'état. coup d'état, there you go. So I guess that's the end. If we all start following you mate, you're a bloody leader by default. That's right. Thank you for listening to the podcast. You can find us on Twitter at Alistair TV and at Steep at Old Andy and at two in tank. Yeah, at two in tank. Two in tank is the is the podcast Twitter. Yeah, we're really getting that going now. Yep. Posting them out. And

so yeah, do that and do the ratings thing. Oh yeah. People don't do the ratings thing, but you know, like you can do the ratings thing if you want. It's just we're just trying to get organized and try to get, you know, so painful. So painful. Oh God. Look, if you do, if you do do the ratings thing, please rate us based on the podcast up until the point where we started talking about the ratings thing Alright, it's unfair to include our bit talking about the ratings thing as a thing which is rated No, you don't read this bit. Don't write this bit, okay? Ratings free zone.

Ratings free. Okay. Yeah, this is this is barley. It's barley. I'm a barley. Yeah, we're on barley So you can't write us. You can't write this. But you can write us. Do write us. But don't write the ratings. Talkin' about the ratings. And then write yourself on how you feel you're rated.

Yep. Good on you buddy. We love you. Oh, it's so much. Thank you.