Two In The Think Tank - 63 - "MISPLACED TRUST EXERCISE"

Episode Date: January 24, 2017

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I don't have it. I think I'm out of lost it somewhere. I think I'm out of put it down and I'll pick it back up. Hello and welcome to two in the think tank to show where. We come up with five sketch ideas. I noticed we dropped a try. It used to be we try and come up with five sketch ideas. I noticed we've dropped dropped a try. It used to be we try and come up with five sketch ideas, but here episode 63, Alistair said no. Well, there is no trying. The thing is, well, we still are trying, but the thing is that

we won't release an episode unless at least five have been come up with. So we are trying that is, you that is within it, but also that you're not gonna see it unless there are five sketch ideas, at least. Right, because we can't file. Much in the same way that in the universe, people go, well, why? Like much like that there couldn't be a universe

to see unless we were here to witness it. Indeed. Yeah. Right. So like a tree falling in a forest. Yeah. You know, if if there wasn't a universe, yeah, you probably wouldn't have heard the podcast they made about it. That's right. I think I see what you're trying to say. Yeah. You like philosophizing? Alastair, you know me. Yeah. I love to ponder. Absolutely.

I ruminate is I've been knowing to give things a damn good thinking over. Yeah. But really I love I would love more than to philosophize. I would love to be considered to be a philosopher. Wow. Yeah. I think that's that's something that I would like as well But it's not something that I've taken any steps towards. Well, I think I like the philosophical lifestyle

Like living in a barrel Yeah, is that Diorgini's that? Yeah, was he also blind and carried a lamp or was that someone else the one who lived like a dog Is it that one? Yeah, that guy. That's the lifestyle I'm talking about. I wanna be a dog. Or is it sort of the, the, like, Socrates lifestyle of just kind of loose clothes and you get to walk around and just kind of question people? Question people and then eventually poison yourself to death. Did he poison himself?

Yeah, he said, give the hemlock to Socrates. So he asked for the, it was a weird way of putting it, obviously, give me the hemlocked to Socrates, so he asked for the, it was a weird way of putting it, obviously. Give me the hemlock, please. Could he have been speaking about another Socrates? You think it was a big misunderstanding? Wow, I don't know. I always thought that they punished him, but of course I've not read anything about it,

but I thought that they put him to death. Do you think there were two Socrates? For corrupting the young. Yeah, well, hang on. Was he put to death or was he sentenced? Look, either way, I'm pretty sure he drank it himself. Like he said, come on, give it over. Surely under peer pressure. Yeah, it was immense.

You know, everybody was doing it. He was the first though, and then no one else did it after that. Yeah. But it could have really caught on. It's another one of those things that could be highly addictive if it didn't kill you so much. Yeah, hemlock. Is it still around? hemlock. Yeah, I hemlocks I think it's big. Do you think it's this is probably like it sounds like a kind of report that there would be like maybe on a vice Channel be somebody some some cool guy, we're going to investigate hemlock

and you'd find out that hemlock is actually way more popular than it's ever been. Wow. But you think it's this kind of ancient thing that people aren't using anymore, but actually hemlock is huge at the moment. Like for people killing themselves, or as a way to get a buzz,

or what if we found out that like, you know, hemlock is actually, you know, you can do all sorts of things with it. You can get the fibres out of it and make a weave. It's very, yeah, it's very good for tenderizing meat. Yeah. And it's just this, this, this, this, uh, publicity campaign. Yeah. Uh, by, I don't know, arsenic, whatever, big, the government was in the pocket of big arsenic. Absolutely. And they made a hemlock look bad. That's right. And hemlock is basically has all the same properties that like bicarb soda does. It's good at eliminating smells. You can use it to sort of clean bathrooms and windows without dangerous chemicals. Obviously hemlock

is a dangerous chemical. But without other dangerous chemicals. It produces the number of dangerous chemicals that you need to use down to just one extremely dangerous chemical. You know, one of the problems about process furs is you look at the back, you know, that list of all those ingredients there and all those numbers and emulsifiers and flavors and that sort of thing.

And you don't know what any of them are. They could be anything. Exactly, all these additives. So how much reassuring would it be if you just looked at the ingredients list and it was just hemlock? That's right. You say, you know what you're dealing with?

At least you know it's bad for you. And then you can just go ahead and make a choice whether or not to eat it. Exactly, you're informed. Yeah. And that is what the basis of the economy is all about rational informed consumers deciding whether or not they want their chicken chips flavored with a poisonous plant.

And if they're in the end, they're ends up being a big problem with people continuing to take it despite the fact that they know that hemlock is in it and they're killing themselves and things like that. Then maybe after a while, we'll petition the government to put the price up, to dissuade people from taking the hemlock to war. What about some sort of a star system, okay? So that all labels have to have like a, you know, one to five stars on the front.

Okay, so not like, whether or not they will kill you. Right, but could, whether they contain hemlock. Instead of the star system being in a line, could it be like in the shape of Orion? I guess Orion already is it. Could it be in the big in the big dipper? The big dipper. It can be five stars but it's like you know why does it always a straight line? Okay is there a sketch somehow in in in in in in in one you know people people who who concerned about not knowing what is in food and the fact that some of this stuff could be dangerous It's much more reassuring to know exactly what is in the food and for that thing to definitely be dangerous

Yes, absolutely And and you're basically selling it But you could also sell it with these other things like there's so many dangerous chemicals in cleaning products because it's a Multi-purpose thing that hemlock has had such a bad rap because of Socrates taking it as a poison to get to be killed because it was used as a poison to kill people for so long. Yes. Right. And that's the only reason why it's got a bad rap.

But it's got all these other great uses. Is there is there also a pesticide? He was a bit of a bloody pest wasn't he that suffered? Yes, I mean from their point of view that was it was a pesticide they called in the What about this is a sketch right it's it's kind of like a rat catcher right for but for like philosophers Right, if you've got a whole lot of them around the house and they're kind of lollying around the place sort of questioning you in the kitchen. Yeah, you know What would you use the staining from thought in the bathroom? Oh, yeah Assetics they're they're becoming aesthetics in there. They're rejecting all of the feelings in their body all the urges

Hey, you got a bunch of stoics all living in the eaves It's the worst. It just feels exactly like a romantic path. They're really up there making the most of it. Was that the stoics or was that the epicureans? I think they would have made the most of living in the eaves. Or the attic. They would have said, look, this isn't great, but it'll do.

That's right, yeah. And I have memories of good times with friends. What more could a man need? Than a memory slowly fading away over time. Slowly changing as I misremember it and re-imprint the memory on there. Anyway, what else could a man need? I guess you know, as long as you beat. Oh, you just need a place to like stretch your legs at least. You can't be too cramped. You know, as long as you can be, you just need to place the stretch your legs at least. You can't be too cramped.

Yeah. I think you're right. I think Epicurus, when he was formulating, is a theory of sort of freedom from want. Yeah. He probably had a little caveat in there, a little asterisk, I see. But also, I'd rather just like to be able to stretch out.

Like, how would he have felt about economy class on a domestic flight? Or how would he have felt before? Somebody reclining a seat in front of him. Or, you know, when you go to like, see a live show and it's in a hall or something like that, and everybody's just sitting on the floor and then you realize after a while,

sitting on a floor is hugely uncomfortable. For full. Yeah, and so you're like constantly shifting positions and you're like the meat of your ass is kind of just being pushed away from the bone part and it's just bone on cement, you know, and then your back problems and then you're laying down in public,

that's not the coming. Because you got nothing to lose, you're like, I get it. Well, beyond the amount of pain is so much higher than the social cost of being seen horizontally. Horizontal in a public place. I think the angle of your body could also be mapped as a relationship, as a graph,

to your lot in life. So if you're in public and you're your horizontal, that's obviously zero degrees to the horizontal so your lot in life is low and then as you approach the vertical, you're more and more successful until you're leaning forward and those are the most successful people are actually life face down in the ground people who have so much confidence I think I picture them still walking forward just scraping their face along the pavement unless they're laying down on a skateboard

and pretending to be a snake And then are they are they still the highest group? Yeah, yeah, the people who because if you're on your back you got nothing going on Yeah, you're laying on your back got nothing going on But if you're laying on your front on a skateboard And pushing your way through crowds. You've got something going on. Yeah, this guy has confidence, he's going somewhere.

I guess there must be something where he's going to. Look, I don't know if that's necessary. No, no, no, no, no to I'm trying to work out how we can How we can apply this because I like I like the first 90 degrees and I like where we end up But I'm having trouble with the angles in between because it's very difficult to rationalize why somebody would be sort of leaning backwards it you know Maybe sort of the most of the angles, let's say, between 90 and zero.

Yeah. Anything in between there is just anybody in a trust exercise. So those are people who are doing currently doing Tony Robbins sort of conferences. Sure. And they're still learning how to become successful and get to that point where they can stand upright, believe in themselves and have to the other place. But then once you've reached that value, you realize that's actually not the top because that, well firstly, it takes a lot more trust to fall face forward, right?

Because you know there's no one standing there. You know, the people who fall backwards, I think they're cowards. because you know there's no one standing there. You know what? The people who fall backwards, I think they're cowards. Absolutely. Yeah, because because you know that out of social pressure, other people will catch you. Exactly. Exactly. But falling forward, this is a terrible argument. I think there's something in a not very confident, like a success coach, like a Tony Roman's guy who does the trust exercises, but gets people to fall forward. Jesus, falling backwards, that's crazy.

Those people might not be there, not fall forwards. Obviously, so you can see that. Trust the people that you can see. Yeah. Like, don't blindly trust people. Strangers who've, the only thing you've gotten common is that you're all losers and bunch of gifts. It's a giddy except after by 600 bucks

for a four hour conference at Jeff Shed. Yeah, Jeff, that should be his name, Jeff Shed, anyway. But also, yeah, falling forward, look, I think that there's definitely some sketch in this. Yeah, that's it. Even if think that there's definitely some sketch in this. Even if it's just a person who is like, it's an elder giving advice to a younger man. Yeah.

A lot, you know, it's like, what are you doing on the ground? Might get up. Like that, like, you know, maybe it's just a, a young, you know, maybe it's just a young kid, you know, because young kids, you know, that they'll lay down in the supermarket, whatever. Have a bit of a tanti. Yeah, often face forwards though, which undermines us, but...

No, no, no. I would say, well, in this case, he'll be laying on his back. Perfect. Good at it. You see, because that way we avoid having contradictions within the thing. I mean, we could just, like, give up on our original idea and flip it all around, so it's the people who are laying face down on the ground. We're doing the worst.

We're doing the worst, right? Well, or we could have both people on their back and on their front that are doing pretty badly. Yeah. But, but it's, it's really nice to have that so that the angle, we go past the vertical. Yeah. That's true. Because, and that probably is true, right?

Because people who are lying on their front, they're either they're unconscious, right? They're drunk. They're passed out, right? You know, and then and then as they sort of push themselves up, right towards the vertical and that's That's good. They've obviously got enough abstract to be able to achieve a higher angle, right? And then as they get to the vertical, that's good. That's sort of angle, right? And then as they get to the vertical, that's good. That's sort of where society expects you to be. But then you can move past that by like reclining. Of course, reclining is a sign of success. Absolutely. Yeah. That is definitely. It's a luxury. Yeah. And then to be able to do banana chairs. Oh, yeah. Banana. What a sign of luxury. I've never seen a loser in a banana

chair. They don't sell them to them. And then laying flat on your back is a sign of, you're done, you don't have to do anything anymore. You're either sleeping, which is a sign of making it through the day, huge success, right? Or some people are carrying you, like old style, like a king, or the wolf, maybe. They're carrying you old style, like a king. You know, like one of those chairs.

You know, when it was like you'd have six slaves just carrying around. I guess they weren't people who were really lying there. They were sitting there. Okay, but then. I think it would have been funny the time before that when they were just carrying them around loose. You know, like a, like when you go to the supermarket

and you buy a single banana and you don't need a bag, right? Yeah. The king doesn't, he doesn't have his little chair or the House on a guy's shoulder Yeah, just carried him around I guess he's just got a skeleton team. He's just like look I'm just gonna go bare bones on this trip like he's going just on a trip like to the nearby island Yeah, he's like I don't want to have to bring the whole, the whole entourage.

I'm just going to take Mike. Yeah. Right. He's the equivalent of just bringing a backpack. Right. So Mike can sort of have a backpack with all his belongings, you know, toothbrush, swimming trunks, a towel, and a change of clothes.

And then the king just climbs up. And then the king climbs up, and then they walk, and then Mike swims across to the island like that and the king just sort of rests sits on his back as he swims across like that and then they just spend the weekend yeah I mean it's definitely less cleanly kingly to just be a bloke on someone's back isn't it well I mean obviously you're looking at it from from modern-day standards where that's I think people do it festivals and things like that but but back in the day people weren't as well nourished and things like that and so you know

you wouldn't be able to to have as many people carrying other people on their shoulders and you couldn't as a person you couldn't afford to carry other people on your shoulders because you needed to conserve your energy because you know like the farming hadn't been invented yet. Right right right, and being able to keep a man well fed enough to be able to carry you, are probably quite well fed king on his shoulders, is a sign of great wealth. It's a sign of great wealth, yeah. So, you know, back in the day obviously being obese

was considered a sign of wealth, but what's even more impressive than being obese, being obese, and being able to afford to have a man strong enough to carry you? Well, also, or being able to have an obese slave. Oh, yeah. I mean, I'm doing so well.

All of my slaves are incapacitated. Fuck, for obesity. For obesity. I mean, you could tell, that's how well I'm doing. I have to get slaves to carry my slaves to carry me. And those slaves aren't doing that well. No, I'm not doing that well. I mean our kingdom obviously still has some way to expand.

No, no, no, they're not doing that well because they're on the verge of obesity. Oh, right. Sorry, yeah. Obviously they're not doing that well. But you know the verge of obesity. Oh, right. Sorry, yeah. Obviously, they're not doing that well. But, you know, at some point, I would like to get, you know, I'd like to get another set of slaves. There's still room to grow.

Eventually. You know, trickle down economics. I haven't managed to sort of tweak the nozzle for the trickle just yet is more like a gush out. Yeah. Of this extreme wealth. At the moment, it's just as a set of an aqueduct, it's just a water pour.

We don't have any, we don't have taps. Yeah. There is no flow control. It's just, and if we did, we couldn't use them because there are these fingers. Big, huge, pork hands. Pork hands. Pork hands.

Pork hands. Which, you know, do they have hooves pigs? They get, they're clad. Trotters. Trotters. Oh my god I can't get into it. I look we've got two sketches to write down. Yeah, great. Okay, so King a Rich King who is so rich that all his

Seven so incredibly obese I Think what if a like I mean could it be even like a kingdom? Could it be a whole kingdom that is so wealthy that even the starving people are obese, you know, even- So they're starving, but they're obese? Well, maybe they're not starving, but there's still like people who are living homeless on the streets, but they are Gorge on food and covered in jewels I know I'm really reaching here, but I'm trying to see but it's like a it's a society like like a society that has universal basic income

Sorry. Yeah, we talked about this on the previous or a couple of episodes ago, re-universal basic income, and then I mentioned the possibility of universal really, really high income. Like everyone, why make it basic? You know, if we've got robots doing everything and driving the entire economy and money is, it's me. Yeah, why not make everybody really rich? Why do we have to why does it have to be this subsistence? That's right. Yeah, why yeah? We're all in private jets constantly It's great. Yeah, um, but but but for my kingdom my my kingdom ideas too complicated I think just the king with obese servants. It's it's yeah, it's good Sure, so but I mean it would be good to have that kind of build where it does build from

you're talking about a guy, a king who's doing so well that he can have a well nourished, like because I think that's fun, those steps, like a king who's doing so well that he can have a well nourished slave who is capable of carrying them around yes, but then kind of Taking that to the next level where the you know their slave becomes Yeah, yeah, so that and themselves and then yeah, and all of it. Yes, all the things that we said They begin yeah Now also going back to the horizontal I don't know about the horizontal like it's I

Think I think it is I think there's something good there. Right. Yeah. So we were saying that, you know, starting from face first on the ground, your angle to the horizontal is correlated to your level of success. It's like a gauge. If you were to watch someone from the side, right? It's like a speedometer or a tacometer on a car as it goes. That's right. Yeah. So the first 90 degrees is you're heading up to normal to normal. Yeah. And then the back. And then the back 90 is you're getting to see a leaning back. Because I picture the person who's on their back with their hands behind their head. Yeah. Right. Right. And then there are ankles across. Maybe leaning back because I picture the person who's on their back with their hands behind their head. Yeah, right, right? Right. And then there there are ankles across maybe ankles across like that is picture of contentment. Yeah, they're there are basically as

as content as you can get because they no longer have to strive. The people who are vertical are still striving. Oh, I mean, they can barely even the people who are who are horizontal on their face can barely even breathe. Yes. Right? When like unobstructed at least. Look, I'm gonna just draw a spedometer. Right. What about it? Can you just put a little head on it and add some little arms maybe? Yeah. And then like this, like there we go, then the arms. Yeah, it's like a, it's like a status-someter or a, you know, a, yeah, a life-ometer. That'll have to do for the time being, a life-ometer. Yeah, I think that that's a sketch.

Like even if it is just an old man telling, I mean, look, I don't know with this theory where the people who are laying front forwards on skateboard's pretending to be snake. Where, where they fit in. Well, maybe they're in a dead end. Obviously, there are exceptions. It's the person that you face first on the ground. You look a little closer and see some little wheels under them.

And you're here hissing the sound. Well, that's probably just a man lying down pretending to be a snake. And often that is not Russian. Do not rush to judge him. Often that is a thing that comes from sort of eccentric billionaires. Yes. Who can afford to make choices like that. Identify a snake. That is not a choice that is available to the very poor or the unsuccessful. I think it's possible that this is the most absurd sketch that has ever been hypothesized. That's great. I like that. No, it makes me feel really good.

Great. Well, I feel like there were other things that I thought of along the way. Okay. Well, there was a thing about a guy running success, trust exercises and that sort of thing who himself has trust issues. Like he doesn't, like obviously don't fall backwards, that would be, well that would be insane.

And I guess that what are the other things about like going across hot calls, like Tony Robbins get people to do that. Walk across hot calls. Like, my mind goes to like the, you ever tried to, you know, walk across that hot bit of bitumen between the beach and your car. That's a nightmare. You don't got to go across hot coals.

You're not going to tell me the people who walk across that hot, a hot beach or hot bitumen are somehow later on getting really successful. That's not the way to get success in believing you. Maybe that's why so many really high level surfers actually earn so much money. You think so? Yeah. I know, but there's so many people who go to the beach who don't earn any money.

What about the guy who goes on to the beach with the little metal detector and things like that? He's not earning very much money. Yeah. Except for that metal detector, that looks expensive. Yeah, well, I think there's a big, big initial investment. It's a beautiful approach to earning money, isn't it? The idea of the guy at the beach with a metal detector. He's like, all right, I need some money. Okay. I guess I'll just go and try and find some money. Nobody else has that directed attitude to the problem of not having any money. I think I remember hearing about a guy who would like, he just found drugs on the ground.

That was his thing. I think like he would just walk around town and he goes, oh, there's some drugs on that. And he was just finding drugs. Like there's enough drugs on the ground just to sustain him. Wow. Because I know that they can, they can detect the amount of cocaine that's being used in a city by like getting it out of the sewers. Like, like, there are detectable levels of cocaine in the sewers of like, city, cities. Yeah. Thank you. Yes. Cities with cocaine in them.

Yeah. That's right. But probably every city. But it's a way to actually, you know, it's a great way to measure cocaine, but it's a way to actually get cocaine, I imagine it's. So that's the guy who's going in the sewers and he's measuring it, but he's actually like siphoning it out from the effluent. Affluent.

Yeah. I do think that that guy with the trust, who does, yeah. So like, first of all, he's using these trust exercises. He's got trust problems, but he's also using this as a way of distinguishing himself from all the other sort of motivational speakers and things like that, is that don't be a fool about it.

Don't be completely blind to these things. And so he uses, he kind of dispels other people's myths. He's like the magician who reveals the magic tricks. He's like, no, don't fall back. He's not walking hot coals. Yeah. He's like, if you walk on hot coals, you're a goddamn sheep.

And don't walk on two cold coals either. Room temperature coals. Only if you can To be honest avoid coal. Yeah, it's not good. You breathe it in if you get the dust party Black lung particulate matter never met a coal miner There yeah, they're often dead Eventually they walk across room temperature calls all the time it's terrible for them. Yeah they get not only black lung black foot if they know

they're barefoot. Blackfoot was a Native American tribe. Really? Yeah. Walk across a lot of coal. Look I don don't think so. Maybe though. Look to be honest, I don't know that much about, you know, I did one class, maybe in year five. I remember writing out different tribes and learning about what they did. And some of them were hunter-gatherers, others. That's a lost off. Yeah, there's grew maize. I think there's something in this guy who's just, uh, who's just trying to find money. You know, the guy with the metal detector who- who- who needs money

and so decides to try and find some money. Is that not funny to use? And not initially immediately hilarious? How is that? Look, yeah, there's- there's something to it. It's not immediately hilarious, but I'd like to meet this guy, right? Because he, you know, why he kind of is a modern hunter-gatherer, isn't he? Because he's you know, back in the day you would go out and you would search for grains and berries and squirrels.

But now he's going for... Well, you know, he understands that times have moved on, right? You can't just do that anymore. You need money. A lot of the berry bushes have been sprayed. He's got that black berries are considered a pest now. And now he's out. He's a modern hunter-gatherer.

He's like, well, yeah, I'm not a fool. I'm not going to go out and eat these things. I'm gonna go and go out there and get some money. And he's a hunt, he hunts some gathers money. Yeah, but I think the problems that I don't see this as enough of a character flaw to sort of be hugely fun. Like obviously it's a character flaw. Like obviously there's something wrong with this person.

Yeah, sure. That they put so much money up front, either to rent or buy this metal detector. Right, see, I don't even think that that's an important part of the sketch. No. So I'm more judging the people who do it. Yeah, sure.

So it doesn't have to be part of the sketch. This is like, I'm just trying to picture where. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh.

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Well, it doesn't want to seem sus Well, it's the cinema experience as well. He can't not you know the truck top. He just loves them Right, so already he's spent 40 45 dollars. I know I know just to get into the center and now he's crawling along on the ground interrupting people's maybe as he's saying that's what he does somebody goes But had you considered maybe you would find some popcorn on the ground or You know some of the empty drinks if you sit away to laugh to the movie there'd be a lot of that kind of stuff left over They had that's why they hire people. I don done what it's style. Let's discuss it.

Yeah. I mean, I'm going to find things, but I've got standards. Yeah. I mean, I crawl, I sift through it, obviously, by my hands. Yeah, I go through it to see if anybody's dropped any money in the old popcorn and yeah, in their coax. And then I lick the money clean obviously. I don't look does he go to upshops trying to go like it's just I guess all the all the ATMs does he got ADMs and sort of smash them open and sort of a fan so rifle through. Is that a way that this can escalate you know Like eventually, we see that he's actually just a thief.

He just sort of goes through people's pockets and that sort of thing. So breaks into houses. What does he need money for? Is it just to have money? Yeah, it's just a way of getting money. I think there's an arc to this guy. I think that he, we meet him.

He seems like an innocent buffoon who's decided that the best way to get money is by going to the beach and looking for it with his metal detector. And then he's at the sentiments he's crawling along, you know, thinking off and get good money, he's spent a whole lot more money to get in there. And then we see him and he's at, you know, he's at the swimming pool, right? And he's sort of levering open people's lockers and going through their pockets

of their jeans and taking their money. And then he's full on breaking and entering into a house, right, tying up a family in the living room. Going through their pockets. Yeah, and he's got a metal detective probably still. Maybe he's beating someone with it. It's where's the money? Yeah. Where's the fucking money? Yeah. Oh look I found some. Yeah. He's still only just finding coins. Yeah, dude, dude, dude, dude. So he's still only just finding coins.

So I can't, like, he's not getting any notes. Where's your coins? I didn't think about that. That's funny. Yeah. Yeah. Look, I've written it down. Thank you.

So we can fucking move on. Yeah, yeah, absolutely. I like it. I feel like I really wore you down with that one. Yeah. Look, like, I think that it like within it like he could be he could be he could be weird enough that that it could be funny even if it wasn't a funny story.

But it is. Luckily, even within my victory, I feel the pang of defeat, Elisde. Well, you're like, you're like, Trump, you feel that you know,, you fear that your victory was not legitimate. Oh, why does he feel that? I wonder. I don't know. Where does that come from? I don't know. No, but I mean, we all fucking out. We all feel like imposters a lot of the time. Don't we? Like, I feel that all the time as like, I do not deserve to be here. Everyone else is more talented than me. And any success I've had has been either accent or people conspiring against me to give me success

so that later on they can take it away and make me feel stupid. Imagine how Trump must feel if indeed he does feel. Well, that is, yeah, that is a big difference. If indeed you do imagine. Yeah. But does that thinking, does that like, does that almost make you be able to sympathize with him?

Like, because I mean, he's a pretty despicable character. Yeah. Does like, there was a moment just then when you were talking about that where I did feel like, what if he, because I think we all feel that he didn't, he doesn't want this really. He doesn't really want this. It's just kind of defeat a Zego but in the end he's kind of just doing it but yeah but what if like he does want it and he can't enjoy it and now he can't really enjoy it because he fears that it's not legitimate and maybe like what if what if this news that Russia that Russia

interfered was hugely disappointing to him because he thought this was hugely validating. Sure, he thought he'd won. He thought he'd got a certificate from school because he earned it and then he found out it was just because his parents donated money to the library. Yeah. Which probably is probably the probably is also happening to Trump. That's probably being happening his entire life. None of these achievements have been legitimate. Oh wow. Right? Like, yeah, so because he's had money the whole way. He's never earned anything. Oh no wonder he's broken. Yeah. So that's why he has to play up that he's got achievements all the time totally Guys, I think we've cracked it good on us. We've cracked we've cracked Trump psychology is done by these

armchair Psychologists psychologists My chair doesn't even have arms Is there a sketch? Is there a sketch in a person like that? Like it's it's like it's basically a person who is like Trump like so despicable in yes in the thing and then you make the audience hate him for three to five minutes. Right. Okay.

And then and they're still watching and they're still watching. Right. Yeah. Because you might get hate him in a fun way. Because yeah. And because you put humor in there, maybe at his expense. Yeah. But maybe not maybe like, yeah,, maybe you see the people around him,

you know, kind of for like one, like, one, like, that's all. Yeah. And then at the end, you just, you, you just put something into like make him feel, seem human, make him seem really sad inside. And, and then you end it there. Alistair, congratulations. You've just written a movie, Citizen Kane. Oh, right. One of the greatest films of all time. Oh, no. Yeah, no, no.

I mean, this is a great achievement. I mean, yeah, well, I haven't seen Citizen Kane, so apart from like, I haven't either, but I'm pretty sure that's what it is. From the synopsis that you read? Recompete, yes. But also from the infinite number of cultural illusions that have been made to me.

I assume those people have seen it, but maybe not, maybe no one has. Could we do that, citizen can, in a three minute sketch, three to five minute sketch? Yeah, I think we could. I think I'm wondering exactly what kind of humor it would be, but I like the idea of making this utterly despicable person and then you see them go home and you see the sadness that is in them and how they can't even look at themselves in the mirror. You know, they're but but is this comedy? Yeah, I know. That's the question. It's like, because sometimes I wonder whether, like, if you're in a show, if you're watching

a show where it is, everything is kind of a sketch, punchline, sketch, punchline, things like that. And then you do one that deliberately takes away a punchline and just, it's the absence of a punchline in my mind that is kind of the, like, that's often what makes me laugh, is when something is so bleak and sad that that's, I have a, I would say almost a more real laugh. So what we're picturing here is like, it's like in back to the future, right, when Biff gets covered in manure, right? So we hate Biff, we hate Biff, we hate Biff, and then Biff gets covered in manure, and he says, MANURA!

It'll really disappointed way, right? But what if instead of manure, that was self-loathing? Oh, that's good. Yeah, I was gonna say, can we just write back to the future and citizen canning together like that? I almost think maybe this isn't worth writing down. Back to the future,

citizen can would have been very interesting if there was time travel because he could have gone back to the sled. Yeah. And maybe, or someone who'd watched the entire film could have come back to the beginning and just told us it was the sled. That's true, yeah. That would have been good. Or somebody who was watching the movie could have, if it was not just a time machine, but also a machine that allowed you to travel within fictional things.

This is very good. Somebody who... Which science, by the way, hasn't proven to be impossible? No, they haven't. No, that's right. Because that's what science does, right? It proves things to be possible rather than just tries to disprove things. This is something I learned just recently.

I was like, oh yeah, that's what it's all trying to do. Science is just trying to disprove things. I guess. Yeah, that's the difference between pseudoscience and science. It's that science is just trying to, once you've got a claim, science purpose is just to try to disprove it. I never thought about that. That's great. I mean, I hope that's true. Well, I mean, maybe you should start reading a little bit more popper Andy or watching short six minute videos that explain this from PBS in America. You know, why not bloody should. Yeah. Anyway, what about a movie, a time travel

movie, right? Where there's no time travel in the movie but the movie is made as though the filmmakers had access to time travel. Whoa. Okay. So what we're saying is at some point in the future time travel has been invented. How does that affect the process of making a film? That is really interesting. So it's kind of like boyhood.

Yes. But done over a whole but they have a time machine. I'm a machine of people. It's done for real. Yeah, they just sort of jump around. It's not linear filmmaking, but in real life. Right, they still make a linear film, but they make it non-linearly.

They still make a linear film, but they make it non-linearly. And is it still actors or is it actual like, do you have to get people from each generation of this family line to be to play the same person? To play the same person throughout. I don't know. Wait. What's an example of that, like a thing like that where that has worked and exists in real life?

I have no idea what we're even talking about anymore. So like, so it's a film that is made without a thing in it but it's a thing that the well I guess all films are made with cameras and dollies and lighting tiktokers but they don't understand each other's things okay so it's like that so it's like the yeah okay I guess like you know I guess like, you know... Okay, how about this? It's a film, right? But where the cameras are pointed outwards,

at the crew and the directors, but the sound is all of the actors acting. So maybe the actors have like go pros on their heads, right? No, no, no, no. It's just a camera that you would normally shoot at an actor. But then turning the whole thing at backwards. Everyone's holding it backwards. Right.

So it's like a behind the scenes film. But what you're listening to, what you're actually paying attention to, it's behind the scenes, which is what's in front of the scenes normally. Okay, that could be something. I mean, is that a form of avant-garde theater? I don't know if it's theater. It might be filmmaking. I mean, I'm filmmaking, sorry, avant-garde theater? I don't know if it's theater. It might be filmmaking. I mean, filmmaking, sorry avant-garde filmmaking.

Yeah, I think so. I just think, you know, like there's gonna be places that they haven't gone yet. And I think sometimes you don't make something because it's a great idea. You just make it something because it's an idea that hasn't been done yet. Right, it's an idea.

It's an idea. You know, and then it's you let the critics decide whether or not it worked. Yeah, I look, I think there's something something wonderful about this film set in which all the cameras are turned around the other way. I mean, could it be like in the end, is this a sketch? Because what is this sketch about? Is this a sketch about somebody who is doing this who's just trying to be avon guard? Yeah, I think so. I think that's what it is because you would obviously have to then show this process from the outside, right? Yeah

Unless you did just have it and you did just see the director and the The camera person staring really closer to the lens trying to focus on their own eye. I don't know. I think I think there's also something about filmmaking with time travel. I think there is a behind-the-scenes documentary about the first film that has been made using time jump. Like when the Invit, you know, Citizen Kane was apparently the first film that had moving cameras or something like that, you know, or the first movie that was shot in color, or the movie that was shot.

You know I came up with the idea for Citizen Kane? Really? Yeah, I mean independently, just a few moments ago. Yeah, so could it be... So it's the first film to be made once we have time travel, okay? And just, I mean, you know, just to force my idea. Could that be an idea of this guy who's trying to make avant-garde cinema? Is that this is one of his ideas that he's trying to make happen.

Like that he's like, I wanna be the first movie that uses time travel in the filmmaking process, but there is no time travel in the movie. It's not a time travel. I think that's good, like you don't, yeah, and he's like, well, you know, you make it. And he's hired scientists, and he's got people who's got a functioning model of a time machine

and he does it and it just kind of looks like a normal movie that's you know time passes or time or whatever but but it's about the craft. This guy only cares about the craft. And he's able to make the passage of time actually look more realistic than it does on film. Of course. It's a hyper realism kind of thing So he's just he's just trying to make a hyper real mumble core film. Yeah, yeah, but he happens to have on a miniscule budget

If you don't count the time because of the time machine The film cost almost nothing to make Where I really wasted the money was in bending the laws of time and space. But somehow he still manages to run over time on the production. The spy, the bag. That's great. It comes in two years after time. Or he makes it instantaneously because he films it and then

We've just gone into the editing suite, but fortunately as on the way into the editing suite I Came out of the time machine from the future with the fully edited film And so that really helped a lot with the editing process Yeah, that's good. Yeah. So, there's a lot that air. Yeah, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry about the dead air. I was picturing it. Yeah, me too. Me too. I was. He looked a lot like you, Alistair. Really? Yeah. Yeah. Do I appear in your dreams very much? I don't know if you've ever appeared in one of my dreams. Is that offensive? Do you mind? Not at all. No. I'm very rarely people from my life appear in my dreams.

It's usually sort of stock characters. Yeah. You know, people who appear in stock photos. I think I can't afford the rights to any real people. And so I have to sort of make these mock thing. I don't have any actual music in my dreams. I just have sound, sound alike music. I used to have a girl. I mean, this was when I was a boy, you know, a teenage boy.

He's like, I used to have a girl who kind of was a bit like somebody that I grew up with. Right. But she would be, she would have this kind of golden hair, but she would wear a black wig over it. And then later on, I would discover she's the woman with the golden hair. This happened more than once in a dream.

Like a recurring. I kind of go to a lot of recurring locations. And either that or I often go, I'm in a dream gone, I've been here before. Like I know I've been there before. But maybe that's just part of the feelings. Why can't some of the feelings are probably also just fed to you by the dream rather than?

Yeah, absolutely. I have dreams where people apparently find it boring to hear about dreams. But we're talking in abstract terms. Abstracts, obviously, that's what very interesting is. Yeah, abstract dreams are fascinating. But I have a lot of dreams where I dream, there's a whole lot of context to everything.

Like I feel like everything has a big emotional weight because I know stuff has happened in the past and that sort of thing. So like all the the history of things is sort of comes with them. But if I try and analyze that and like pin any of it down I don't remember any of that stuff. It's just I feel like this has huge importance because of something. Yeah, I wonder how you could have that in a sketch. Oh man. Dream sketch, that's the future. I used to have a lot of recurring dreams about textures.

What textures did you like? I would just dream I was surrounded by like a real like specific like gritty texture or kind of like a cold kind of sticky texture or something like that. I remember once... I guess I just didn't wash my sheets that much. Yeah, maybe, but then he went to the beach a lot. But then, yeah, I remember once eating these kind of having to eat numerous like bar of soap textured things just endless amounts of it

Like that so you're sketching that My imagine a world where you eat bars of soap and you wash your hands with lots of food eat bars of soap and you wash your hands with plates of food. Right, celery. No, that's celery, like a bowl of spag bowl, like a sort of an enchilada or something like that. It's amazing that like all these things that have flavors that we just take for granted, right, like toothpaste, taste like peppermint. That's just something someone decided once.

Someone was like toothpaste is going to taste like peppermint. That could have been anything. Yeah, maybe they did. It could have been bolognese. Yeah, it could have been bolognese. It could have been enchiladas. It could have been enchiladas. It could have been solo.

Yeah. And solo could have also tasted like bolognese. That was just a decision someone made. That's true. Solo didn't have to be lemon. Bolognese could have tasted like red curry. It's just some Italian down the road. Some like just decided.

Yeah, this is what everybody's going to have. Forever. Yeah. And we just except it, like a pack of mugs. We're bloody sheep. Sheep. Sheep didn't have to taste like sheep. No, they had to.

They did, actually, that's one of the most pretty meserc chemical process. I mean, actually, that's one of those. That's pretty much that's a chemical process. I mean, unless there was like a sheep that decided that they were gonna kind of, like do you think early on like a sheep decided to kind of landscape, that they were gonna live on? Yeah.

In a way, and so that was just, you know, by what they ate and by their chemical structure, but I think what they ate to kind of decide what they're flesh and the tasting like. It's a real interesting chicken and egg scenario, with the like, sheep. Grass and sheep. Grass and sheep and the chemical makeup thereof.

What about, what about someone who's like, you know, what we do? This is crazy. We brush, we eat our dinner, we'll eat a bolognese, and that tastes like bolognese, but then we'll go and brush our teeth with mint. And so we wind up with the flavour of mint. Why don't we just make bolognaise mint flavoured? We've simplified the whole process.

What all food was just minty? We'd always be minty fresh. There always be minty fresh, you know. Instead of garlic bread, minty. What? Then we'd always be minty friends. They always be minty friends, you know? Instead of garlic bread, mint bread. Mint bread, you know, instead of... Tick-tacks. Tick-packs. Instead of orange-flavored tic-tacks, mint-flavored tic-tacks.

But could it be that he's a guy, you know, it's sort of like a person who's, you know, like people who try to call bullshit on like this, you know, with the government, like you guys are sheep, you know, with the government, you know, like tells you in the, with the meat, it means to you media, but it's like about the mint flavor and toothpaste, and why not just, why not, why not, I could have that in everything.

Yeah, like why are we bothering? Why, like if you really wanted to taste toothpaste, oh, if you really wanted to taste bolognese, why not just get bolognese flavored toothpaste and just brush your teeth? All this flavors of food, we don't have to have all those flavors of food, those are just put there by the people who make toothpaste, so that they don't realize that you could just have mint flavored bolognese, they do it to sell your toothpaste, so you have to buy an extra thing, you have to buy more toothpaste, you have to buy toothbrushes so that you can have a minty flavor in your mouth. But if the stuff was just flavoured like mint in the first place, you would save so much money.

It's like how the pharmaceutical companies, they don't want to cure any diseases. They just want to treat them to keep you on the drugs. It's like that with toothpaste, right? They don't want to cure sticky breath, they just want to treat them to keep you on the drugs. It's like that with toothpaste, right? They don't want a cure for sticky breath, they just want to treat it. But if all the food tastes like mint, it's dentist to tell you, or they tell you that don't eat sweets, but they still tell you to eat food. Yeah, but what food gets stuck in your teeth, which causes bacteria,

which means that you've got to brush your teeth. But if you don't, if you don't eat food, then you have to brush your teeth. You don't have to, I've lost it. No, was it the mint flavoured face mouth? I think this is a guy, I think there's something in this. Yeah, that's it. The toothpaste companies don't put any money into making food that tastes like mint. Do they? Right? They don't put any, there's no research and development being done into making a pizza, a mint-flavored pizza.

That's because they don't want you to have fresh breath. They want you to buy toothpaste. Yeah. And they control that. They've got everyone hooked. Yeah, you're right. Absolutely, Andy. Or at least people who don't, it's the same with people who think you don't need shampoo, right? Who thinks that?

People. I say you don't need shampoo, you just, you don't wash your hair, your hair reaches a natural pH balance that's very healthy. Yeah, right. And it keeps your hair, it keeps itself clean. Yeah, right. But kind of greasy. Yeah, but kind of a bit gross. Like you really, like for those people, they really do have to redefine clean to mean a

bit greasy and kind of gross. Yeah, and I think that that's also, anyway, doesn't matter. I think we've got seven and we've gone maybe even long. Long. So, we've got number one, concerned with what's in food, but instead just having hemlock. So this is a person, sorry, I mean, that wasn't very written down very well, but this is for people who are concerned about what's in food, all the different chemicals that you don't know what they are, things like that.

Well, why not get rid of all that? It's just one chemical that, that, you do know what it is. You do know what it is, and it's replacing all the preservatives, and you do know what it does in its hemlock, right? And the same thing with the cleaning products, you know, eliminate all those nasty chemicals

except with one chemical. With one chemical, because you don't know what all those chemicals can do to you. You know what hemlock's gonna do. So pretty. And then we've got the status armature, which is, you know, these first two very weird, aren't they? Yeah, they're weird, but that's cool.

Anyway, you know the status armature. Yeah, angle of your body is, angle of your body. Your body is. Yeah, then we've got the rich king who's so rich that is even his servants are obese. Yeah. But that's a good, because that's a sign of wealth. You know? Do you think that people who walk along leaning slightly backwards do look more successful

than people who lean slightly forward? Strutting. It's the strut. Yeah, it's absolutely. It's an open and shut case on a strut. Open and strut. Um, is it a trust exercises from a guy with trust issues? Don't fall backwards. No, but don't blindly trust strangers.

Those people could be distracted. Yeah. Those people could have it in for you. Look, I'm inclined to say don't fall at all. Try. Do your best not to fall. It doesn't really help anybody. Yeah, you know, but if you have to,

yeah, forwards and onto a mat mat have a mat down. Yeah Good don't do it if you don't have arms Guy guy who thinks it's a good idea When he needs money to just go out and find money that's his way of getting money and then he descends into crime He thinks that that's a good way of finding of getting money. That's his way of getting money. And then he descends into crime. He thinks that that's a good way of getting money. He uses the boop boop boop thing on the beach. And then obviously his life descends into complete chaos.

Because he's... But I think he treats it all as exactly the same. From his point of view, it's all just finding money. Yeah. Yeah. He's just finding ways of making it an accident, making it, convincing himself that it's an accident. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I think he is definitely delusional. Right then, he's delusional. He's delusional. People might not realize. Yeah, that's good. Then we got a guy who just wants to be an avant-garde filmmaker. How do you feel about having your name at the end of a lot of adjectives? Like Delusion Al.

Does that feel good? Because I don't have that really with anything except for Randy. Delusion Andy? Delusion Al? Yeah. I mean, I guess it must feel nice that people are saying your name a lot. Yeah. All say other words.

To say other words. It's just Delusional. So unless they call me allister. Oh, sure. It doesn't feel like they're talking to me. But if they start saying Delusional all so unless they call me all the stir Oh, it doesn't feel like they're talking to me But if they start saying delusion out delusion out yeah, then I mean I Guess I'm I feel nice that they thinking of me. There you go You know if people are bothering to change over the Promo

Just to say your name more. Yeah, it's very nice This is an ever guy guy wants to be an avant-garde filmmaker. And so he's not so much coming up with good ideas, but just coming up with ideas that haven't been done yet, such as filming, using cameras backwards, but still trying to pick up what's going on in front of him, and also being the first person to use a time machine in the filmmaking process,

but not, you know, show it on screen. And then it's a guy who's a colon bullshit on mint flavor and toothpaste, that that's just a guy who decided that, and that, you know, this whole food thing, that's like you could be having mint flavored anything, but the tooth paste people. They tell you you can only get it in the toothpaste and of course in mint. Yeah, and you know gum, it's all dental hygiene, the whole dental hygiene industry, big mouth. They've got mint, they've got mint sowing up, they think they've got, yeah. They're controlling the flow of mint. They're probably the ones who are killing the mint that you keep at your own house

That you could never keep alive man mind is growing so well. It's crazy. It's one of the easiest things to grow in the world It's basil. That's the difficult thing. No, mate. Basil's hard. What about this? You're thinking of rosemary. That's easy My mother yeah Come on, Andy. Jesus Christ. Sorry. What about this LSD? Right? Something about Randy, the word Randy. The puppet. No, no, just the word Randy. The adjective Randy. And randrew. It's... I almost want it to be like, please, Randy was my father. Well, my father was Randy. Call me Randru.

Sort of like a guy who's called Randy rather than the adjective Randy. Yeah, I don't know. No, no, no, no, I think it's still the adjective Randy. I'm gonna write down. But like a formal, more formal version of being Randy is being Randandrew. Yeah Like your parents would call you randrew my friends call me rand when your horny your parents would refer to you being randrew

Yes, that's it. That's the joke. Yeah Okay When yeah When when when you're horny Your parents when I'm randee when I'm randee. Yeah, I'm you know when I'm horny. Your parents horny. When I'm Randy. When I'm Randy. Yeah.

When I'm horny, I'm Randy. But when my parents see me when I'm, it's a horny. I'm Randy. I'm Randy. To them. Randy, Matthew. No one's called me Randy.

In 50 years. If you're calling me Randy, I must be in trouble. Ha ha ha. Yeah. If you're calling me ranger, I must be in trouble Look it's more of a joke it's more of a joke it's a little garnish a little minty garnish Come to my shop and buy a big dog go to the dog and take them to your house Hey there. There's your bed sit down there and buy a big dog go to the dog and take them to your house. Hey there There's your bed sit down there and have a sleep Dogs dogs dogs dogs dogs don't mind coming to your house. Yeah, that's it. It's like a lot of songs that I sing with my wife

Kelly That was actually part of the song. Thank you very much for listening Like right subscribe. Yeah, we're gonna get an Instagram soon. Yeah, go on there, go on the Facebook, like that one, go on the Twitter, to and tank, and you know, write on the thing. Thank you very much. We love you. We love you.

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