Two In The Think Tank - 66 - "DOGBODY"

Episode Date: February 14, 2017

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You know like you are in a forest. You know like the pedal is at all. Sounds incredible. That's just one of the most wonderful, beautiful popping sounds I've ever heard. Well. It's a poppin and it's poppin'os there and it's filling me with good good vibes Andy that's my cheeks right there. I'm just giving you a little cheek Hello and welcome to turn the thing tank to show where we try and come up with five sketch ideas. I'm Andy

Matthews and I'm allister George William Tromblay Bertial. That's right and Yeah, how is your day? How? Look it wasn't too bad actually today was a work like I How was your day? Yeah, look, it wasn't too bad. Actually, today was a work, like I seriously just worked and wrote today. And I've never felt like a writer in my life, even though I have made some money from being a writer.

And I still don't, but today I did a writing day. And I felt like that's what a writer would do. But this was writing of your own projects of your own accord? Yeah, it's from my own accord, but it's for a project that you are also working on. Oh, yeah, okay, okay, a little bit. But you're doing all the work. I was doing all the work. Yeah.

Yeah, and so it was a productive day because I now have an office. I have a space in which I can write and how How Quick how long do you think you have in that space before the cancer of distraction creeps into the very atmosphere of walls? It already has crept in but I've also been able to sort of you know put it at bay. Yes, you know I've defeated it. I've conquered distraction. to sort of put it at bay. Yes. You know, I've defeated it. I've conquered distraction. Really? Yeah.

I'm no longer vulnerable to the same things that the average human is because I have a space now. Yeah. You've built a sanctuary, a fortress of solitude. And I think as long as I feel strong, then I am strong. That's nice. No, but it's, you know, it's all bullshit. Do you think there's a sketch in the thing that you said at the start about? You have earned money from writing. Yeah. But not feeling like a writer. Like, do you think, because that thing of the like imposter syndrome, that feeling of, I don't deserve to be here. Yeah. Everyone else, it's just a matter of time before everyone else

realizes that I'm a big fraud. And, you know, I, yeah, I, I think it's such a common feeling. Yeah. And the thing I, I have sometimes, absolutely. And I would like to do a comedy about it. Sure. Well, this is the classic place to go to with a... Would be someone who is actually an imposter. Well, I think that is the next level that you could go to. Okay. The first level, I think, with all these things is always to compare an art thing like this, like an art imposter kind of thing, like you you feel like and but you also work in the arts. Yes. To someone who's like a surgeon or a pilot. Yeah. Yeah. Because then it's always like, well that my my life is in your hands. Don't feel like an imposter, right? Yeah. If they were kind of going like, well, I'm I don't really feel like,

you know, I fly obviously every day, but I don't feel like a pilot. Yeah. You know, we're a surgeon. Like, well, you know, and from the point of view of the pilot, the worst possible place to make such an announcement would be over the intercom just before the plane takes off. As similarly for the surgeon,

the worst place would be over the intercom of a plane just before the plane takes off. If he starts operating on the people and- I don't even feel like a surgeon. Here I am flying a plane. I mean, I'm not really really, so let alone. No, that was already done. You know that common trope of like,

is there a doctor on the plane? The pilots just fall and ill. Well, is there a pilot on the plane? The pilot's just fallen ill. Well, is there a pilot on the plane? The guy flying is a doctor. That's good. Is there an ill pilot on the plane that I could cure? So he could take over from me as the pilot. I don't have the skills to fly this thing.

But if there happened to be a pilot already on board who was sick in some way that I could cure and then bring back up to full piloting capacity, that would be over two to three weeks. A lairing for recovery. I don't know how much fuel we have, as I say, I'm not a pilot. Is this already a sketch? I don't know. I don't know. Is it, I mean, we can look more at the idea. Well, I mean, the thing of, is there a doctor on the plane? Seems like a very funny thing to hang a sketch off in some way.

I'm sure it's been done, but like, you know, the thing of like, is there a doctor on the plane? Or, and people, the other one is, does anybody know how to fly a plane? Hmm. Right. Yep. And yeah, I don't know. No, I think, I think to have, like, I always love those kind of, some, often they're very short, but they appear in like snippets of like cartoons, and things like that, where an idea like that,

like is there a doctor on the plane? I think family guy would kind of do stuff like this, where you would very quickly elaborate on all angles of that bit like that, where is there a doctor on the plane? And then yeah, you could go, yes, or I'm not really, you know, like I don't know, who knows?

But then you kind of like, yeah, you go to the pilot as a doctor and all this kind of shit like that. I think that that would be a fun sort of little sketch. Yeah, okay, great. So, well, what if, now, I wonder that I think this, it's now really well,

that I've seen some version of something like this done, with like a chain of events on an aeroplane of like somebody having to translate something for someone else and Could it be on the movie aeroplane? It really it very much could be on the movie aeroplane. Where I imagine they explored quite a few of the possible variations of this thing as they did an entire film Made up of jokes on an airplane. Yeah, I don't know. I don't remember that many of those but Like of the of the airplane themselves jokes. It's a strange thing

But it was like they're I think the but I think their strength was sort of playing straight wordplay really silly. Yeah, really silly wordplay straightly. Yeah. Well, how can we make the thing of I am a surgeon flying this plane? thing of I am a surgeon flying this plane, is there a doctor I can cure? Like, well, okay. So the, okay, so what about this? Is there a, the pilot's fallen ill? Is there a doctor on the plane? Yeah. Right? And the doctor comes up. And for some reason, he wants to perform a brain transplant from the body of the doctor of the pilot into, I don't know, a self or a robot or maybe you know one of the stewards. Yeah. Or into the body of a child or like a criminal.

A learner pilot? Yes. Yeah, but I do like the brain transplant idea. Into himself, into the copilot. Into a dog? Into a dog. Like, if there was not enough people on the plane, well, nobody wants to take the brain transplant,

but there is a dog that's on there maybe, is like a guy dog or something, and they decide that it would be the most humane thing to transplant the brain of the pilot into the dog. Yeah, his body is dying, but his brain is healthy. It's very healthy, I can tell you now. Yeah, we just need a healthy body to put the blood. I've been studying, this is like my life's work.

I've proven that it's possible. I've just been unable to get like ethics clearance because it might cost lives, you know, because of the risk. But in this case, we will all die unless we... The moral imperative dictates that I must conduct this brain transplant of a man into a dog. Which one of you will sacrifice your body? And then obviously I can't because I'm the doctor performing the operation.

I mean, I guess I could sacrifice my body, but first I'd have to transfer my brain into someone else's Thing in order to and so then maybe he Everyone trans I'll teach you all to transplant your brain into the person to your left or Okay, if nobody will do it, then I'll transfer my brain into the body of this dog this die nobody will do it and I'll transfer my brain into the body of this dog. This dying pilot. Okay. Into this dog.

And then I will sacrifice my body by transferring the pilots of brain into my body. Well, okay, but then would he do that as the dog? As the dog. But then what is there that prevents the dog from flying a plane and yet it is still able to conduct well brain sick. I think I think it's just when he when he says when he says well I well obviously can't be me that gives up my body and then they're like well why not? He goes all right well all right then he's like you just don't want to give everybody. Well, that's fine.

All right, then I'll give up my body. Now we just need to find a body to get my brain into. And then they go with the dog. Yeah. I think that's good. And then we see the dog pause putting the final patches on its own head. Yeah.

Sowing the needle through the... I guess yeah, those patches. Let the record show that both Eddie and Alistair were miming pause and sowing their own skulls back together. Yeah. We're like a sort of a closed palm, figured palm. Okay, but then once I think once everything is solved, like once he's got the pilots

brain into the doctor's body, I think something else should go wrong. Yeah, yeah. So what is that? I mean, what's the inverse of what we just did anyway? So his body was dying, but his brain was healthy. So maybe his body is rejecting the brain. No, I mean, that's not helping us.

We're just back in a body's brain. Well, maybe this is the right time for the pilot to bring up the fact that he feels like an imposter. I've actually never felt comfortable as a pilot. Like I was in the wrong body. I always wanted to be a surgeon. I actually felt like I was a surgeon in the body of a pilot. And now I feel like I'm a surgeon in the body of a surgeon. But now he actually is a pilot in the body of a surgeon.

But now he actually is a pilot in the body of a surgeon. I mean, there's a punch line of like the co-pilot could have just landed the plane, as well as, I suppose. But he was tired. He was in the bathroom? Yeah. As I said before, the co-pilot is in the bathroom. What about the co-pilot? What are you gonna interrupt him?

Wow. Look, I think that that's pretty deep that we've gone into it. It takes us somewhere. Yeah. So when we've managed to take the imposter thing and mix it in with the, is there a doctor on the plane? Yeah, I mean, I don't know if that imposter thing really works in there necessarily. OK. Well, the imposter is always another place that we can do.

It is. Yeah, and that may well come back up in this episode. I would like to see somehow at the end of this sketch, for some reason, I feel like multiple brain transplants have had to take place. And then at the end, we see it is a dog, the dog lands the plane. Right. And it's, you know, but it's not the pilot's brain in the dog. It's maybe a child's brain. I was headwind, I mean, and the it's Lord, it is a hero. And we see the dog with the brain of a child being interviewed on Ellen. Oh, that's nice. Yeah. I feel like we're wasting the pilot's dead body, though.

Right. You know, maybe that could be used for something. I mean, is there something? Well, I mean, I guess I mean, there could be elements of muscle memory still. Well, when the pilot gets into the body of the doctor he says look I was operating mostly on muscle memory I was on a low pilot so to speak yeah could we extract the memories from the body I'm gonna have to transplant all the muscles from this

corpse onto this dog I'm into this dog! All that's left is just the skin of the pilot And the bone There's a dog with like muscles that are grafted all on the outside It's just a genius This brain that's too big for the skull It's this horrible monster And he's a hero and he's on Ellen.

He's a hero, but he's too disgusting for anyone to celebrate. Oh no. Are there some heroes? Yeah, that is a good question. It's like horrific. Are there heroes that are too disgusting to celebrate? Disgusting looking. I mean, that's a great philosophical question for today, you know.

For today. It's a question for our time. Yeah, it's because there's some hero. Maybe not a hero we wanted, but maybe it's the hero we deserve. But also maybe it's the hero we can't bear to look at. Maybe. Because of all the man muscles crafted onto the outside of its dome body so the impossible okay so no not man muscles but he grafts the pilots the dead pilots hands whether the paws of the dog once were in the face

The paws of the dog once were in the feet. Maybe in the man muscles. But then maybe by bit he then grafts the entire body of the pilot back onto the dog. I think. And then it gets to the point where it's a dog. It's just the head of a dog. Body of a man, body of a man brain of a man. Yeah. Well, it's like a dog inside of a man. That's how you get a dog inside a man That's how you get a dog up here. That's how you get a dog up here like I mean that would be an amazing

Like, I mean, that would be an amazing callback to, like, let's say you would make that callback to at some point early on in the show. You have somebody go, get a dog up, yeah. How would I do that? Like that. And then, this sketch plays out later on, right? And then, at the end, like, after this sketch, it goes to a guy sitting on a nice chair reading a book and then he closes the book and he looks out and he goes, and that is the story of how you get a dog up.

That is great, Alistair. I really like what you did with that. Thanks. It's kind of, I stole a little bit from Alistair Cookie. Alistair Cookie. You know Alistair Cookie used to be it was it was cookie monster. But doing Alistair Cook Alistair Cook's letters from America. Yeah right. I think it's what that was already I never got that reference but I know he was basically cookie monster wearing a robe, a satin robe. Ah, satin. Maybe it wasn't satin. No, it was a wiser stuff of all fabrics. Yeah.

Velvet? Oh. I think it was probably velvet. I don't actually don't think satin is a very particularly wise fabric. I think satin is a bit foolish, full-hardy. Satin sounds like the kind of thing that you'd, you know, if you were having a bondage party, obviously you got a lot of leather and rubber to wear. Absolutely. But the sheets would be nice if they were satin.

My parents had silk sheets once, gold silk sheets once, when we were growing up. That's a real, like, I don't know. That was an experimental time for your parents. Yeah, a masturbate. Yeah. I think at mate, I like, I hope they weren't the only ones. I hope it was a fad.

I hope it was the thing that everyone was doing. Maybe there was somebody at the markets where your parents worked. The markets. You know, the markets who had an excess of gold silk sheets and they were trading them for wood toys For some wooden toys, yeah, or You know, maybe your parents are in some way devious Look this could be the tip of a very filthy iceberg And the thing is is that I don't even want to explore this no

You know this whatever this is. Working at the markets, there were always those guys who would say, get your apples for a dollar, apples for a dollar. That's a funny thing to do. Absolutely. And I've definitely considered trying to put one of those people in a sketch before.

Yeah. Because, you know, like, I've had it, you know, let's say, I'm gonna do my own impression of one. This is for Dalai Marieth. Duh-doh-la, duh-doh-la, duh-doh-la, bananas! Duh-doh-la, duh-doh-la, like that. And it's just, you know, it's, it's all time he advertised. Yeah.

Because, and it works. Well, what a fact, a version of Mad Men. Yeah. With that guy. That's good. That's all I think that's kind of all you need, right? So like it's Don Draper. And you know, you sort of play out a bit of the episode

and it's like that famous moment in madmen where he's advertised, he's come up with a campaign for the Carousel Kodak thing and he's talking about memories and how beautiful they are and how it's, I don't know, whatever he says, it's like a time machine or something. We're not selling this thing, we're selling memories. Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, good writing, good writing, good writing and then it gets the end and he's like, so what I'm proposing is that I stand on a street corner and shout get your carousel get your carousel

Carousel get your carousel Doodle-ah doodle-ah I think that's it but without without it being about a camera carousel. But it also I mean yeah So what do you think it's about it's about apples pun a destroy Okay, so is it is it? But it's still a vocative of the childhood and memories and yeah I mean, I'm thinking now that like once you go into that field There's like so many variations you could do on a madman

I'm like, you know, I'm aware we don't do much parody right apart from keeping up with the bighonis obviously but But like a version also where like this you know high-folluting Advertising company has to come up with an advertisement to sell somebody's old couch on gum tree or something right like yeah Well just I was kind of like picturing him talking like that, but it's like a close-up of his face Yeah, so it's kind of a close-up of his face and he looks real like you know

He looks like Don Draper real sleek and things like that and And so kind of you know after you kind of get past some of the point in moments, it starts to pan out. And then it becomes clear that he's just wearing a white singlet. And he's got hairy shoulders. And it's kind of panning out. And then he's standing behind her. You could just be standing behind her thing of fruit. And then he just goes into it.

That'd be great. What would be really amazing is if you could somehow write the monologue in such a way that it sort of gradually transitions into $3.00. $3.00, right? That's good, yeah. Like as it pans out, and maybe we're seeing like his ideal of himself as this advertising genius slick, beautifully well presented, and then in the wider shot, his hair is sort of all over the place and he's unshaven and he's got, you know, a bit of sauce on his jacket. Like he's got a really utterly 100% visionary picture of himself in his mind as this beautiful advertising genius and then the reality is he's a man shouting about the price of

And in many ways what you're doing is exactly what he's doing except You're shouting about a guy shouting yeah about apple. I'm sure I'm picturing myself as a genius one sketch one sketch one sketch One sketch about a guy shedding at a market Um look I've written down version of madman with market guys right yell $2 bananas We couldn't go back because I did write down imposter at the beginning, but we didn't do anything with it But maybe there was a place that we were planning on going that wasn't gonna be a is there a doctor on the plane sketch because I did write down imposter at the beginning, but we didn't do anything with it. Yeah. But maybe there was a place that we were planning on going that wasn't going to be a,

is there a doctor on the plane sketch? Yeah, so what are we started with? Those two things of like the worst possible times. Well, I mean, the surgeon telling you that he feels like an imposter, right? Is, you know, because, because you could go in, okay, if we could come up with a reason for someone who is about to undergo surgery to tell the doctor that they feel like an imposter. Right?

And then the doctor starts saying, oh, but everyone feels like that. And he's like, oh, come on. No, no, absolutely. I feel like an imposter all the time. I felt like an imposter since the first day I stole this jacket off of a peg in a hallway and forged my certificate. But we all go through this. That was to that. So he hasn't even been pretending for that. I mean if I'm gonna have an imposter doctor I want at least one with some experience who's done a few sham sham surgeries. I bet you haven't even come up with any names for any of these Iplub. But like you haven't even studied up on scalpel. No, you're right. I haven't.

Give me this. Everybody feels like this. Everyone feels like an imposter. Everyone, you know, doubt themselves, whether or not it's, you know, it's the surgeon they club to death in the car park just so they could get his pass. You know, we all do these things and we tell ourselves that means we're not a real doctor. Yeah, but in the end, what is a doctor? Yeah. You know, it's a guy with a lab coat. And a knife. Just standing in an operating theater. I'm a doctor.

In a way, you're a proctor. You're a proctor. I mean, you're as qualified as I am to perform this surgery. Now, hush, go to sleep. I don't... Can somebody do this for me? That's what's him putting the mask on the gas on his face. Yeah, that's good. I could see it. You could see it, but nobody else.

If the audience couldn't imagine that, that's on them. I feel bad for them. The people who couldn't imagine it. I mean, the worst thing would be to not be able to imagine What if what if we could somehow reveal that at the end that this person who's a no doctor who's just pretend an imposter doctor? Hmm is actually a dog He's got a dog up him. I'm a dog. I'm actually a dog Hey look I look before I was a man clubbing a doctor to death in the car park. I was a dog. We're all we've almost got the episode laid out right.

So first somehow there's a sketch about a guy who there's something about getting a dog up here. And then the guy first asks how. Yep. All right, it doesn't really resolve. It could, but that could almost be a sketch in itself. Get a dog up here! Like that. And then a person stops and goes, how?

Maybe, maybe somebody yells it to somebody at a market where there's people selling apples. Yeah, you link it all together. Oh, man Like I mean what if this if this if this episode made a whole episode And we're trying to take this to a new place which is a difficult new place, but it's doable. Yeah All right, so then then Not long after that. So so then we will have already been out the market so we're talking about this guy Right and then get a dog up here then we go on the plane

Is there a doctor on the plane? Yes, right then that thing wraps up the guy like it's a thing the guy closes the book Yeah, he goes and that's how you get a dog up here Right then we go to the next sketch, which is a man who feels like an imposter. He feels like an imposter and he's being wheeled into an operating theater. Yeah, now like maybe he's had an accident at work. You know, and he's like, you know, I should have seen his coming. I always felt like an imposter at work. You know, like I can do all this study in the world, all the training in the world.

I still feel, you know, never felt like I knew what I was doing. And I guess I was right, you know, it's just... Well, maybe he's had a heart attack from stress. That could be... He felt like an impostor. Yeah. I like both. Maybe he's had an accident caused by a heart attack.

Yeah. One of the leading courses of accidents in Australia are heart attacks. There's no such thing as an accident. No there is no such thing as an accident? There's no such thing as an accident. We've discovered that all accidents are, in fact, Josh's fault. This is Josh. Hello.

He's the one to blame for all the accidents. No, I'm really sorry. I guess I was just brought up wrong. I guess I was just acting out. I suppose. Board and acting out. And many ways I've probably got to do with my childhood. I was angry. You know at time you dropped a cup of sugar and shatter all over the floor. That was Josh. I did it because I hate my mom. He'd snuck in at night and greased up the handle of the cup. It shattered. I guess you were picturing a glass.

Yeah, I wanted to say like a little jar of sugar, but I said a glass of sugar. That's okay. It was something that somebody had stolen from a cafe, maybe. Yeah, it could have been. Yeah. No, it could have been. Yeah. No, that's very probable. Is there a sketch in all the accidents being Josh's fault? You know what? I do like it.

And I think that's, you could have a lot of fun with it. I think, yeah. And I think if it's, if he's, I think Josh should be played by a teenage kid, right? Who we can make apologize for everything including I guess the Fukushima nuclear reactor meltdown. Oh no did you hear about the second? It's been in the music and recently because you're apparently one of the reactors is way more radioactive than they thought it was. I don't know what that means Andy. I don't what that means. Do you should we worry? Do you have any capacity for worry right now?

I don't think I've got any extra worry room. Well, I think I'm at peak. It doesn't matter Andy because it's not your fault Are you waking up in the morning and checking your phone to see if World War 3 is broken out? No, I think I think we still got a couple months at least least. I don't think it'll break out because it's just Economically, it's just it's just too much of a pain in the eye. I hope so. I hope so. I hope that like even these lunatic You know dictators and stuff. I hope that the bottom line is they realize that economically it's bad call. Yeah The problem is that for some people war is economically a good deal. And if they wind up in the positions of power when they can exercise influence, maybe they're not

the present themselves, but maybe they've got the ear of the present. Sure. And the ear is still connected to the body. The body. Yes, if it hasn't undergone some kind of huge explosion. It's not the head. Yes. The head of the face. The head of all the body. Yes, if it hasn't undergone some kind of huge explosion. Yes, the head of the face The head of the face. I just said the head of the face. The head of the face. I mean, what do you think is the head of the face? Head ahead I mean, what about the like the boss of the face?

The nostrils would be the eyes of the head of the face. What do you think is the ass of the face? If you say it's the mouth, I guess it's kind of the only logical one. It's not going to be the eyes. I mean, although the eyes do excrete a kind of shit like the ear actually probably has the most but I don't know if he is a good part of the face. What do you consider the ears to be part of? I mean, like, there's the back of the head. That's definitely not part of the face. No. I guess the ears are like the central

America of the face, you know, they're sort of in between. Yeah, well, I mean, look, okay, so the hair on the side of your head is definitely not part of the face, right? No. You would accept that, and then you accept it, your face probably ends where your hair starts. So, do bored people have more face?

That's all face, yeah. Wow, so like their face could go all the way over onto the back. Um, no, I think once you get to the back, that's the back. But the face can, it definitely goes up further. Yeah, I mean, it's just like if you take a photograph dead on of somebody, then everything that you can see in that photograph is face, including the front bits of the ears. Yeah. But sort of once you go past the curve of the ear, it's not a longer face. And also the

under chin isn't face, but then maybe bits of the neck are. Well, I think maybe other like neck rolls, if you've gotten multiple chins. That's true. They can get upgraded to face things. Yeah, I think if they like they're very front-facing that's that's what would have been under under neck under chin sort of stuff that's now front-facing it's become part of the facade. So I think that's considered face. You've built it up. Yeah. Yeah absolutely. But it's ready to take on the role of the face. The face, the role, yeah. So in a way are the eyes the least important thing on the face. If the nose is the boss, the mouth is the sort of ass. Yeah, I mean, actually I'd like to make the ears the ass because they do shit out brown stuff.

That's true. But you can't really have two asses. Yeah, that's the problem. But I guess, you know, the mouth. I mean, it seems so important. It's kind of the mouth of the face. I mean, but the eyes definitely feel like henchmen. They're always looking out. I hate to bring it back to doctors. Yeah. But I feel that there's a sketch in a doctor explaining his theory that the nose is the head of the face.

Like how concerning that would be as a medical student to like be sitting there while a doctor explained to you this theory, right? Or, you know, either in a lecture. It's a lecture. He's a guest lecture reference. And and you're the regular lecturers gives him a great intro. He speaks very highly of him. And and if you're gonna be get anywhere in medicine, then you need to listen to this guy. This is the guy who knows what's what. Oh, that's the worst thing to say. But this is a guy. No, look, again, if this is the highest introduction, I don't think it includes the words this is the guy.

This is the guy. No, but like, you know, like they're, you know, they've gone and they've gone on men's retreats together Right, so they get along, you know, they're they're the they're the set of top surgeon guys that have that have bullied That have bullied the other all the other people in the medicine department, right, right But is it now that this guy has Totally become unhinged like has he? Somehow spent so much time looking at the human body, that he started to see every part of the human body as just being like a smaller version of microcosm of the human body.

So it's like, well the face is like a body. Yeah, you know, and and the nose then is the head of the face of the face. Yeah, but which so when you treat the head of the head of the body, but what part of the face is the head of the face? Sorry. Yeah, someone says the eyes, the eyes, get out. Okay, it's the nose. The nose is the head. Yeah. And you've got to look after, you've got to look for, fuck, I don't know.

Anyway. Look, the arm is like a human body. What is the head of the arm? The elbow. I mean, maybe the shoulder, maybe the shoulders in charge. I mean, it's too close to the top and the way to want to allow it to be the head. Right, right. You get a flat power struggle if the heads are too close together.

People, you got two heads next to another head. Why do you think you can't touch your face with your elbow? That's specifically designed like that. None of the heads should be able to touch. Because I mean because the elbow is the head of the arm, you might think automatically the knee is the head of the leg. But no, because you can touch your head with your knee. And so.

But the back of the knee is the face. Now where's the nose of that face? It's on the foot. It's the heel I never said the nose had to be on the face. No, who told you that? That's an assumption that everyone has made. Yeah, but we've got a question these assumptions if we're going to do great medicine. Okay, now. It's over here. Smell your face. Not that face. It can't be done. It can't be done. Yeah. Look, this is complete insanity and to be honest, it makes it one of the favorite things that we've said.

It's a little bit like a, like you could imagine this is a kind of like a really terrible bullshit kind of like, um, uh, Eastern medicine, like like like a you know rakey or an acupuncture or something it's like this philosophy that every part of the body is another body Eastern European medicine the guy he's like Slovenian or something like that it just doesn't know why it makes sense to me I mean you've all heard of Eastern medicine. What about Eastern European? And everybody loves Western medicine. What if we could combine the benefits of both? Well that's where Eastern European medicine comes in.

Like I'm not sure if this is the same idea or if it's a different idea but... Like I'm not sure if this is the same idea or if it's a different idea, but The body is a body But each part of the body is also a body It's also a body and itself You look at the part of the body you look at the arm Well, that's a body now Where's the arms brain

In the hand. In the hand. Ok, but not in the front of it. You know, sometimes you get a mole in your hand. That's the bride. Now, some of the hands are born with the head of bride unfortunately a lot of hands are still born this is this right he can't not be racist well it doesn't feel like any accent, but it feels like a little bit.

Alright, look, we don't have to go that route. It's just so fun to talk, not in the right way. Yeah, yeah. I mean, in a way, it's disappointing that so much of the racist history of Australian comedy has involved doing Asian accents. Yeah. When we can all agree it's much more fun to doing non-descript Eastern European accent. Eastern European accent, of course. Yeah.

Well. Mr. Trick. Mr. Strayley. Yeah, sorry guys. It shouldn't have been so racist early on then we could be enjoying those jokes now yeah if you that's right that's really that's to support is another way in which the baby bonus of boomers have screwed us yeah they fucked us again how about those baby bonus if if if we'd had a harmonious

intolerant accepting side up to this point with total equality everyone would be able to be racist towards everybody. It's like it would be fine. Absolutely. It's like the fossil fuels Right. It's the fossil fuels of the day, right? Because now we're using up these fossil fuels. We're burning them and then later on people are gonna have really good excuses to use fossil fuels for probably like quite great reasons, but now there's not going to be any fossil fuels around because they've created an atmosphere of racism much in the way they've created an atmosphere that is high in carbon dioxide which means that for us now to do anything racist we'll just add to this toxic atmosphere. Much as burning fossil fuels into the future is going to tip us over that. That big four four two parts per million. Yeah. That one, which I think we're probably already over. Yeah mate. Don't worry. It used to be three fifty. I think we've

shot past three. We'll be on that mate. Oh dear. I'll take it up the 400 ppm. PPM. Okay, now that's enough. But what is that sound that cars make when they are revving like that and they blow off that sound? That's it's some gear changing. You don't hear that much anymore. I feel like I used to hear that a lot And I don't know if it's because people aren't doing that to their cars or if I'm just not in the areas where that sort of thing is happening I think there's there's a mixture of both, but I think maybe too many years have gone by since the first Fast and the Furious movie Right You know, I think maybe that's what really brought a lot of that stuff into

Into the public eye And to be honest, you don't hear that much Oh yeah, the public ear Public ear, you don't hear that much about NOS these days You don't do you I mean, I used to think about NOS 2-3 times a week. Yeah. Has this car got NOS? What about that car? Sometimes I would just shout THE NOS.

Yeah. You know? Absolutely. And then you just run. It was a car. Right. To just shout the NOS and then the game is you've just got to run away from the car and jump behind something. Yeah, that's great. Why did we never do that? Because we didn't know how to have fun.

Yeah, but these days we do. I think that's what's going to bother us. I'm going to start doing that now. We're going to start. You know, you never too old to learn how to have fun. Never, don't just get out of a car, shout the noss, run away from the car and jump behind something. Well, I think maybe this is-

Bring a bit of that fast and the furious pep. Yeah, what about a sketch about these people, these kids that were, the people that were who adults now? Right. But when they were kids, they were forced to manufacture things, right? And so they didn't really get to have a childhood, right? But now they're learning as adults,

how to have fun in the way that they should have when they were kids. And so you just, all you're watching is men and women experiencing pure joy, spinning around and running and climbing and coming up with names like it's the nurse. And then just laughing. Like that, pointing at things. Yeah, yeah, calling each other up and going What's that? Yeah, although those guys seem pretty old when they're already when they were doing that in the original ads Yeah, but but I think when I enjoyed that of course. Yeah, I was having a you know sort of a late childhood

I wanted I'm gonna call somebody the next week and go week and go. What is that? I mean, it's definitely, like, this is one that I have not seen come back here. Yeah, that has not had a thing. Wow. It hasn't had a resurgence. If anything, we shouldn't release this podcast until we've done some public version of this because it's going to get back into the zeitgeist and then we're going to miss

that boat. This is fully loaded. But surely by releasing the podcast, we are getting on the boat, Alistair. Why are we gonna keep the podcast in so that we can catch a boat that the podcast could be on? Yeah, I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know if there's a chance this, because this is buried in, you know, 45 minutes of podcast. People are gonna clip this out. What are the chances that this is going to go viral? Very low. Very slim chances this one. On two, three, four, five. Technically we have five sketches. We actually got five or we just got five dashes on that thing. No, no, one, two, three, four. I got six dashes, one is empty. Yeah, but that top one just says imposter. Yeah,

but we did come up with another. Oh, great. Yeah. Well, maybe it's time to wrap up the book. I can wrap up. Unless we had something just there with the NOS and all you know, that was the, that was the, it was, there was a lot of sadness in, in these people who didn't have a child. I mean, I did that on purpose because I thought that would make. Because I think people don't have a problem really laughing at

that people who've had horrible lives. And it's true. Especially in a comedy setting. Well, and it's healing to laugh. It's very healing, especially to these people who don't... Who haven't had a child in childhood, I mean... Probably didn't get to laugh very much.

Yeah, so they haven't done do it now. And laughing at the extreme... Now, laughter is the best medicine. But most medicine is not a thing that you self-medicate. It's done to you by professionals. So do you think that there is a way in which laughter is better applied from the outside by people laughing at you in a controlled environment, maybe in a hospital, maybe you mocked relentlessly.

Well, yeah, so you're mocked. I mean, it could just be, I'm sorry, I got it just quickly. Clown doctors, right, this is the thing at children's hospitals that have clown comedians who come in and make the kids laugh. What about roast doctors who come in and mock the kids? Yeah, that's good. Because clowns aren't very funny, really. But what is funny?

No, is Jeff. Who's that guy? Jeff Ross. I don't know him But who's the old guy who died the old guy who died who had a G in his name? Gary Gary Do you know the guy I mean like the old guy who looks like a frog? No? No, he was very funny and looks like a frog? No, no. He was very funny and he maybe died of heroin. Greg Geroldo. Greg Geroldo. He was a roast master at some sort. Anyway, roast doctors, I think, is something

in that. Yeah, so you go and you make fun of the kids. Oh, we run on McDonald's house because we, because look at this kids red curly hair. Yeah. Yeah, we are Ronald McDonald's house. Oh, that's Ronald McDonald. Oh. Well, yeah, I mean. Boy, I'm tall.

The problem with this is it will very much put us in the domain of mocking sick kids. But maybe we could find a way to do it kindly. Yeah, that's true. Mocking for things that they don't feel too sick. Not making it, maybe I don't know. Maybe we are mocking their illnesses, Alice. No, no, no, no, no, we're making fun

of their choices of TE programs. As kids moral blues, clues gonna kid. You know? Yeah, okay, I think there's something in that. Wait, wait, wait, wait. Can you be into Peppa Pig and be Jewish? I don't know. You know, I'm just, I'm riffing. You're riffing and I like it.

Yeah. I like it a whole lot. All right, so first we got the, the imposter scatch, which is about a guy who comes in feeling like an imposter as he's about to go into operation and then the surgeon relates to him by in a way that reveals that he is actually not qualified he is not qualified, he is an actual real imposter and inside his human skin is a dog

then there's the sketch about is there a doctor on the plane? And this is a, well somebody yells out for a doctor on the plane and then doctor comes and then he says that the dog, no, not the dog, that the pilot's body is dying. This is a very of expertise and that we need to transfer his brain into somebody else's body, and then nobody will do it. So he says, he'll do it. So he transfers his brain into the body of a dog, and then transfers the brain of the pilot into his body. Because muscle memory is so important, has to craft. No, but hang on.

We're not crafting the muscles, but don't we? Okay, so. Yeah. So maybe he doesn't craft his own brain. Okay, we can just craft it. I mean, look, it can be a different version. This is so makeup. So then he crafts all the muscles for the man's body

onto the outside of the door. But then he needs his, yeah, but then he realizes that he actually needs the dexterity of his hands So they put the hands on and it just feels weird to having his hands and not his feet so they put their feet on as well. It feels weird Deplay to have pedals They're pedals on a plate you have to press pedals They're petals on a plate you have to press pedals I can't reach the pedals And so they put they put shoot like it put his feet back on and All's obviously his legs as well. Yeah, I can't reach the pedals talk That is

That is being like two it around TV show Herapelating is playing just Sorry Just the pilot So he's a hero, but he is the. I mean the way the doctor should be a hero. Oh wait, yeah whatever. Yeah. No, it's a pencil.

The doctor is also on the TV shows with the pilot, I think, as his creation. Yeah. I mean it could be that he goes, mean yeah you don't it's not necessary but the doctors they're still just blood everywhere well cuz he's got exposed muscle fibers and everything then we got a version of madman in which in which it's a guy who's developing a beautiful pitch for one of those market guys who yells. Dude, dude, you chuck it to expose muscle fibres, you've got... Oh, all the accidents are Josh's fault.

This is the people saying that there are no accidents. And then they're actually all the accidents are Josh's fault. This is teenager that is actually responsible for everything. He's just acting out because he's angry at his mom. Yeah. His parents got divorced. He's parents got divorced because he's dead. And all these muscles crossed out the inside of a dog.

And his mouth couldn't stay with him anymore. It's like Josh. And so the accident, the accident that actually caused this dead body to die is actually somehow Josh's fault. Oh my God. The next one is a lecture theater where a guest lecture is coming in and the doctor comes in, the guest lecture and talks about his theory about how.

Every part of the human body is a human body. Yeah, and so, and he goes and he asks, so he thinks that the nose is the head of the face. Because the face has its own head, but it also has its own feet and a spleen and a liver. Yeah. We don't need to go into it into much depth. But one of the eyes is a liver and the eye is the foot. It's both feet. And then we have the roast doctors.

I mean, you've heard of clown doctors. Well, they're not that funny. The kids probably are, you know, I don't wanna, you know, if anybody is a clown doctor, I don't wanna, but the kids are probably just laughing to keep you, and that makes you don't feel bad. It's pity, do you think that the sick kids

are laughing out of pity? And this is, and, but, but this being, this, this, showing pity towards somebody else Is that also is that the second best medicine maybe Luckily it is yes, and it has fewer side effects Well, maybe laughter is being overused as a medicine this bacteria They're developing laughter resistance. Oh, no, super laughter. So they have to find the second thing, which is pity, which is what they invented clowns.

Clarenda. Oh. The word on Frizzle Cotto. Oh. The word on Frizzle Cotto. The word on Frizzle Cotto. Good cha cha cha. Flonfligre bomb. Thanks for listening to the podcast. We really proud of that. Good chat, chat, chat, chat, chat, flow on, flick it a bomb. Thanks for listening to the podcast.

We really appreciate it honestly. The work you people do is just amazing. It's amazing. You know I couldn't do it. And I won't. I know I do, I actually. Yeah, I know. I mean, it's it's it's vain for us to pretend

that we don't listen to our own podcast. Yeah, especially as a company festival approaches, and I realize I desperately need ideas. And I'm, well, you turn that dog pilot thing into a Yeah, especially as a company festival approaches and I realize I desperately need ideas and Well, you turn that dog pilot thing into a into it into a bit Anything is good. I think you could be done. I'm gonna Scott legs man legs Get it then and that's how you get a dog up here

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