Simple Swedish Podcast - 73 - "RIGHT WING SATIRE"

Episode Date: April 4, 2017

Go see Al's comedy festival show "Fuck a Duck Here We Go" from 10-22 April 2017 https://www.comedyfestival.com.au/2017/shows/fuck-a-duck-here-we-go Exhaust Comedy Premise, Flat With a Tentacle, Filthy Einstein (Disappointing Einstein), Open Casket Interviewing, Every 5 Seconds  You can find us on twitter at @twointank Andy Matthews: @stupidoldandy Alasdair Tremblay-Birchall: @alasdairtb And you can find us on the Facebook right here: https://www.facebook.com/TwoInTheThinkTank/     Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hi, I am Kendra Adachi and I host the Lazy Genius Podcast. A Lazy Genius principle is to decide once. And I have done that by deciding that Olive and June is my go-to brand for ad home mayonnaise. I don't like to waste time and the Olive and June Manny system has everything you need and nothing you don't, all with gorgeous polishes that don't ship. Visit Olive and June.com slash perfect Manny 20 for 20% off your first Olive and June system. That's olive and June.com slash perfect Manny 20 for 20% off your first Olive and June system. Enjoy simple black tea. Do you think anybody enjoys simple black tea? Just black tea. Just simple black tea. Do you think anybody enjoys simple black tea?

Just black tea. Do you think anybody enjoys simple black tea? Enjoying the show where we try and come up with five sketch ideas. I'm Andy. And I am Alistair George William, which I'm my virtual thank you very much for coming to the podcast. I have a comedy festival show on in Melbourne called Fakatak here we go during the comedy festival. That's when they have the comedy festival shows. So come on down. Fakatak here we go. Come on down to it. It's only nine nights so let's sell. Alistair. Hey Tickets. You've talked to me about the show. You've discussed bits of it with me. Yeah. You've made me aware of its existence and a small amount of its content. I think it's going to be great. Well, look, the bits, there's some bits that I love.

There's some bits that I love. And you have possibly the best title and the best photograph out of the comedy festival. And if that is not worth a ticket, then I don't know what it is. I mean, you probably won't mention the title or show the poster during the show. Oh, no, I do. The thing is, is that I'm going to mention gonna mention the title constantly because I'm gonna go and that's why how you fuck a dog Um, yeah, it's hard to it's a hard two sentences like you know most of the movies that mention the title are only one sentence You think people people having sex with birds? Yeah, absolutely. Is it is is quite a common I'm on board straight away. It's quite a common comedic premise. Do you

think so? I think I think I think I can fuckers and pigeon fuckers and that sort of thing. I look in comedy I know. You don't think? I know I know one bit that has has somebody and there was that episode of South Park I didn't see it I could imagine that there's like in rural areas There's more sort of chicken fucking maybe amongst the hips to hipster community community and instead of urban areas where they have chickens You know things like that, but you think there's more chicken fucking or more chicken fucking comedy No more chicken, fucking or more chicken, fucking comedy. No, more chicken fucking. But I mean, it isn't itself, except for the chicken, funny.

Yes. Now, see, in order to have sex, though, with something like coral. Coral? Coral. All you really need to do is masturbate into the ocean, because they just have a sort of spawning. Yeah, that's true.

But yeah, so, or near the ocean, I guess, and as long as the semen falls into the ocean, as long as it winds up there, or you just do it into a tributary, you know, or like a just a cup at home, or I guess any receptacle of the tin. I guess into a drain. I guess any tissues that you put that are soaked in semen that go into the toilet and then flush down the toilet. And then go, I imagine just straight into the ocean. I guess, I don't know what the filter process is, but it probably allows semen through.

I would say so. Into the ocean. Into the sea. And then off they go. And then you go, you've had sex with coral. You've had sex with coral you have sex with coral Coral obviously is a type of bird I guess the you know coral is probably the birds of the sea

Fish would be the flowers Flowers? The dogs are the amphibians, I suppose, of the sea. And that was almost too accurate. Yeah, they're like frogs. In that they say underside. Yeah. Yeah, I suppose that feels accurate. Do you think there's something about the rings true? They're like, all frogs, frogs, because that feels accurate. There's something about that that rings true. That's like, cool frogs, frogs, because that's short for froth dogs.

Yeah, frothy dogs. Frothy dogs, because they do say, they do say, they do say, they do say, they do say, they do say, they do say, they do say, they do say, they do say, they do say, they do say, they do say, they do say, they do say, they do say, they do say, they do say, they do say, they do say, they do say, they do say, they do say, they do say, they do say, they do say, they do say, they do say, they do say, they do say, they do say, they do say, they do say, they do say, they do say, they do say, they do say, they do say, they do say, they do say, they do say, they do say, they do say, they do say, they do

say, they do say, they do say, they do say, they do say, they do say, they do say, they do say, they do say, they do say, they do say, they do say, they do say, they do say, they do say, they do say, they do say, they do say, they do say, they do say, they do say, they do say, they do say, they do say, they do say, they do say, they do say, they do say, they do say, they do say, they do say, they do say, they do say, they do say, they do say, they do say, they do say, they do say, they do say, they do say, they do say, they do say, they do say, they do say, they do say, they do say, they your lower lip like that, you probably bound to spring a leak. Before we got a thick saliva. And then like a tire that you're immersing in water

to try to figure out where the puncture is. When there is a puncture in there, in there, a lip seal. Yes. You know, just to say, I guess in between the two lips of their mouth, there's bound to be some saliva that's gonna go into a bubble. And your bubble, and hence,

froth dogs. Froth dogs, yeah. It's sort of like my mate Rover, except frothy, like that. That's what would've been the first time. The first guy to say froth. Okay. Okay.

Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. I mean, I would love Alistair at this point in human history, if we could discover like a new genus of animals, like a quite a significant whole new type of animal. A whole branch of animal. A whole branch of animal.

Or whatever of the animal kingdom. Yeah. Because then you could actually meet the guy who was the first guy to see a thing. Yeah. You know? Did you have someone you wanted to look at? I had an idea. No, I want your idea.

Because that's a common sort of trope in comedy. Imagine, what was the first guy who did you know, did this or saw this, sort of like thinking or whatever. Yeah. What about a show that's all that, just something that almost like exhausts that whole format? Right. So we just, we, look, I like this, it just in general,

and we just take a comic premise, and we just drive it into the ground. We just say, there's no more flesh left on that bone. Yeah, absolutely. Obviously, in about 20 years, then some youngsters will sort of look at it from a new perspective, and they will find more new meat that we couldn't see.

Somehow, that was escaping us, even though we looked at that bone from every angle. We could these creatures, they're four dimensional creatures and we're mere three dimensional creatures. That's when they start doing 4D comedy. Okay, so is it a comedy show? Do you think this one? That's like, who was the first person to do this? it's just that? It's and you know, maybe you spend two or three minutes on each one. Yeah, and then it's like who was the first person to Sit down to do a poo. Yeah Like rather than walking like a horse like just Just going along. Yeah, just letting it tumble out just letting it tumble

Just going along. Yeah. Just letting it tumble out. Just letting it tumble. Um, yeah, I mean, look, I don't know if that's a sketch idea in itself. I mean, But it sounds like a show. It's a whole show. No, I mean, I, I think there is something in it, but, but, I mean, we're doing it, obviously,

the fact that we're doing it is what's the joke, right? You're not suggesting that we actually do that for serious comedy, because surely people would not enjoy it for very long, I must say. Look, I think the reason why it's such an overused trope is because it works. And the thing is that you and I come up with it quite often. Yes.

And we have a lot of fun with it. I think. You know, so obviously the team... No, we have the decency to break it up by, you know, of course, of course, but that's, you know, when it plays on TV, sure, it'll seem like that, but who watches things on TV anyway? People will mostly watch it as clips. Clips on YouTube. And they might watch it alongside clips from our other show, which is the difference between these people and these people, the people who do this

and they're like, no, no, that's it. Our other show, the world is broken up into two types of people. Two types of people. Right. Great. Okay. I, I, because I also, I do think that there's a version of this that is just like promoing this show. Yeah. Right.

And it's just so tedious that it's funny. Well, yeah, that could be also a thing. It's like, these guys, you know, it's like, let's say somebody was promoing the box set of our TV shows that we've made. And they go, these guys have made the TV shows that tie around the comedy premises that you've loved to death. Yeah, I think that's quite funny. Like they exhaust Alan Andy exhaust and then insert

a comic premise here. Yeah. And then you see us doing every possible variation of it. And then a few more scroll up the screen as we're, you know, with a bit of overlay. Yeah, as you bore, as you sink into deep boredom, because it's like you, you don't have anything left in you as an audience either, right?

Because we, they've shown you every angle, every variation that it could, you know, that it could show. Now, obviously there's the angle of, what was the first guy to do what was the first guy joke thinking? Yeah. Thinking. Yeah, well of course.

And I guess he was thinking. Who's thinking, oh this will be a funny premise? Yeah, this will be a real, never look at this premise It's like it's like my dog rover. I'm like You know, Alistair Guess since I became a comedian. Yeah, my house is a comic premise premises. It's a comic premises. It's a comic premises. Yeah Yeah

And I guess even this podcast room would be a comic premises. Yep Could you but but but that pluralization there does that mean that it can be used in more than one probably yes Well, that's good. Yeah, because there's a lot to be done with it one. Probably. Yes. Well, that's good. Yeah, because there's a lot to be done with it. Now, going back to the finding the whole genus, an original genus. Right. Now, look, I don't know if there's comedy in this, but I just like to imagine what they look like, because I reckon they've got one tentacle, right? You think so? And then the body is sort of a flat, quite rectangular shape. Okay. And the way they get up. So they're an underwater creature? Well, I think they're amphibious.

And I think they're probably versions like with the flying squirrel that are airborne because they have like flaps of skin. I have this feeling that some of them, let's say they live in the water often. Yes. But then they send their one tentacle up and to strap on to the back of birds that are sitting on the water.

Yes. And as the bird flies away, they're quite lightweight, so they kind of, they go out and they're like this weird kind of sticky pad. Yeah. Like that catches insects on them. They're like a fly paper. Yeah, they're like fly paper. Right. But the semi-paracetic, you say they have a symbiotic relationship

with the Pacific girls. Yeah, with the Pacific girls like that, and they go out, and then they catch a bunch as many insects as they can while they float through the air. It's like, they're sort of kite-like. Yep. Yep. Now that the tragedy is they slow down the goal. Absolutely.

And very often the gulls die. Oh no. Yeah. Well that's okay. But. It's bound to happen. But how is that good for the gulls? Because I wanted that, I want the gulls to still come out on top.

So I mean, I'm not sure they die. Yeah. Right? So well that's good for them in that way. Yeah, so it has to work for the girls. Yeah. Well, I mean, I mean, if they, if they, if the same thing, the girls didn't die, yeah, it would be quite a good way to sort of land on, on like a, like a vertical surface. If you had a big sticky pad that was attached to you with a tentacle, you know, you could land

on cliffs and stuff like that. Quite good. Yeah, or you could, if you sort of overshoot a branch, it could stick to the branch and then swing you around. Yeah. And then you can come back around. I also thought that maybe to females, it'll be seen as kind of like a peacock tail type thing where the bigger, the bigger the one of these things

that you can carry around with you. The stronger the galleumus bit things that you can carry around with you. The stronger, the cali must be. Yeah. Okay, that's great. Now, I find this to be funny. And I think there is a sketch in sort of a nature report, or a natural history story about this newly discovered genus or whatever that does this stuff. And we'd have to somehow,

whether or not we'd have a live specimen or if we just have something that's in a hospital, a hospital or a museum. Yeah. I wonder could it be done with just people in suits? Like, could you suspend your disbelief enough that there's people instead of men and women in gul suits? Yes.

And so it's kind of, you know, it's played on a sort of like real low, what was that movie like Bunny in the Hair or the Bull in the Hair? Yeah, something in the Bull. Bunny in the Bull. Bunny in the Bull. Bunny in the Bull. Or that kind of Michelle Gondry type of cheap drawn on kind of look, but it's enough for you to suspend your disbelief.

And then most as if your disbelief was attached by a tentacle to a gal. Yeah, and you were catching insects. Yeah, and so and so then, you know, you can have them flying. You can show the thing underneath, you know, and it and it itself is just seen as a flat thing, but it kind of just has a man face on it. Man face. Yeah. Okay, look, I can see that. Yeah, or it's a green screen. Right. Done in green screen. Yeah. I think I think either of those ways would be fine. And I know that you brought that into my mind. I think that both of them are probably going to be funnier than my version, which is just a bloke with a dry one in a museum or a hospital. Yeah.

Well, you know, I wouldn't mind. He hurt himself. Either a dry one or one that's in liquid. You know, which I guess is the opposite of a dry one. Yeah. Who was the first guy who was like, I'm going to take this dead baby cow and put it in chemicals in a jar? Or like a person from Eastern medicine who's like, I'm going to put this hairy root in some brown, clear liquid. Yeah, we were a person from a NASA who was like, I'm going to put a man in a little tin and shoot him into space. It was the first person. It was the first person who was like,

I'm an artist and I'm gonna shit in a can and sell it. That's quite funny. Someone who's trying to do that as a joke, but picking things where there's a really clear, who was the first person who was like, I'm going to make an airplane and I'm going to call it the right flyer. What just like? I mean, maybe it was one guy, maybe it was two guys, but who was the, I mean, what were

they thinking? I mean, what were they thinking when they did that? I'm going to just, I'm going to fly it see how far it goes. I'm going to protect it with patents and then make a lot of my money not from the product itself, but from quite litigious protection of my intellectual property. Did the rate brothers do that? The right brothers weren't very once they got the plane. They weren't very interested in making good planes or you know perfecting it or anything, they just put a lot of their energy into protecting their their their their patents. Imagine being the first guy to protect your patents.

What was he thinking? What was he thinking? He's thinking, oh, if I do this, I'll probably make heaps of money. What was the first guy to come up with Einstein's theory of relativity? What was he thinking? What was that guy thinking? What did he do? I hate you think he was like, oh, I'm going to be Einstein. I've come up with Einstein's theory. Everyone's going to think I'm a genius.

I wonder what happens if I do a thought experiment in which I treat an accelerating body as if it were stationary and the gravity was aching upon it. Yeah, so what if I think about, imagine what it would be like to go at the speed of light. And somehow my mind will just work it out and we can trust that. Like I've imagined myself on a beam of light going to speed of light, I haven't come up with any theories at all. Nothing. I haven't got nothing from it. All right, now we did a sketch a while ago in which we had, is there anything in that? I mean, I guess that's just a part B

of the one that we've already just got up. But we're just appealing the skin off of this meat bone. But have we written down the animal one? I've just started writing new genus. Okay, new genus, right. Now, but going back to Einstein, we did a sketch I just ago that was about Einstein if Einstein was really insecure and really needy and wanted people to like compliment his theory or to him. So he

kept, you know, putting himself down and that sort of thing. But what if we did Einstein right? But he was the thing I forgot since I started this sentence. What were we talking about? His knee is like, oh, the... Oh, all right. Being on the late beams. Yeah, what if, okay, we do Einstein. Now, is it Alistair? This is a safe space, right?

Yeah. So feel free to call me a dumb fuck with this idea, right? Okay, no problem. No problem. I always reserve that right. Yeah. I want you to feel comfortable really tearing me apart in a safe space. And you never had to break that glass yet, but that emergency thing option is always there.

And just to put a pin in that, there may be a sketching idea in a safe space in which it's a safe space to really be quite cruel and hurtful to people about their ideas. Yeah, I think I might, I'm like, the Australian newspaper am I right? Yeah, I think I might, I'm like, The Australian newspaper, am I right? Yeah, I think I might even be in a secret Facebook group where that is actually exactly what that is.

Okay. Ah, no one here will report us for saying really awful things about each other. But a sketch, okay, go back to the unit. Sketch where Einstein was on drugs. Okay, okay. So like Einstein, right, is off doing thought experiments, but he's really just like taking LSD

and he's just imagining, oh, I'm a beam of light. And then people are like, You'll never amount to anything on Einstein. Yeah. I would love to see footage of Einstein riding a beam, maybe even waving his cowboy hat in the air. Okay, what about Einstein? Yeah. But all his thought experiments, if you actually heard him describe them in detail, involve him having like really graphic sex with celebrities.

Right. Or, you know, or something like that. So he's like, so imagine, if you will, that you are in a moving elevator, okay? But you are not able to perceive the outside world and the elevator is accelerating towards the ground. Now, are you able to do an experiment in that elevator that will distinguish your motion in the elevator

from that of a body acting on gravity? Now, okay, so the elevator is closed and I am in there and so is Greta Gabel. Okay, and she is taking off her top because we're trapped, because you can't see the outside world, so she doesn't know and there's no experiment she can do. So they just all his thought experiments involve have been, we've only heard

like the sort of the radio edit. Sure, sure, sure, yeah. So I'm on the train and there's a lot beam going and the train is going at half the speed of light and the light beam is going at the full speed of light. Now I'm in the conductors, sort of area having sex with Betty Davis. And I'm fucking earned like now the beam.

What is this? What is you doing? Now the beam. Ah. I don't know. Is Einstein? Einstein. Yes, Einstein.

Anyone in my hair is like all in my face and everything. And she's like pulling on my mustache. Anyway. What speed would the light reach the other truck? What speed would the beam of light be relative to the train. Now what people don't tell you about Einstein is that he had an incredible imagination, an incredible faculty and an ability to to picture the consequences of different physical worlds, different different realities

and you know in a lot of these realities he was able to make love to famous celebrities. And he come up with all these sex moves. Yeah, they were only possible due to the Lorentz contraction that you experience when you're traveling close to the speed of light. The increase in mass corresponding to the higher kinetic energy he would often use as a... He had this... He'd come up with this scenario where two twins were having sex. And what? And what? One got in a spaceship, but there was a portal and he was having sex with that portal. And you could look through it. Yeah, you could look. And I'm still on the other end of the portal, peering through a masterpiece. I'm sorry there's been so much masturbating in this episode. Yeah, that's okay.

Oh god. Okay, I'm interested in this. I'm just going to write down Einstein dirty purve. I'm interested in this. I'm just gonna write down Einstein dirty purve. But because on the surface, let's say of when you brought up this idea, it's Einstein on drugs a lot. Yeah, right. Now, there's gotta be more to that idea, right? Right, yeah, obviously.

So it could either, like this was some of the angles I'd seen, it could either be that, you know, it's the drugs that have somehow, you know, he says these mind experiments or whatever. And but it's just him tripping. Yeah. It could also be that he's on drugs a lot and that it's a kind of a story about how that was

actually holding him back a lot from achieving a lot more. It's like in that a lot of people who are closest to him actually see him as a huge failure because of what he potentially could have created and all the things that he kind of, these half form things that are more brilliant. you know, it was it was pathetic to see him, you know, they're writing the general theory of relativity that would totally, you know, re-imagined man's connection with the cosmos and realize that if he'd just been able to kick the drugs, he could have done so much more. Yeah, he, I mean, he wrote that in 15 minutes while he was just sort of, you know, like he'd woken up from a drug haze, realized that the paper was Jew. And he scrolled that off.

He scrolled down something that he, like it was some insane dream that he said he had. That is echoed through the ages and has, you know, torn a hole in the fabric of space time and allowed man to see the workings of the universe. But if he just got his shit together and stopped, you know, living this, you know, perverted, or you know, this, this decadent lifestyle of the flesh of the flesh, just, just think what he could have done. I think that's something. Is it, has this already been done? Yeah. A sort of an anti-drugs campaign that lists all the amazing artists and thinkers who have been inspired by drugs or if used drugs and have then gone on to create great works and then said, but imagine what they could have done if they hadn't been on drugs. Well, the comedy would be that it totally undermines itself.

Sure, yeah, yeah. I do like that idea a lot. But I think my brain started going to this other place where I was starting to think about that same list, but it tells you how many of them had already created great work before. They saw the lure of drugs. but that's not comedy really. That's more like, hey, by the way, all these people that you think created all this great

work on drugs, first they had become really good at what they did and created a lot of really good work. Right. And they had amazing skills and work ethic. Yeah, and they carried them through. Yeah, and then somewhere along the way, they took assets three times, and then you attribute everything that they've done to. Yep, that.

I mean, that's probably better if we can make that work as a comic premise. Yeah, I've just forgotten what yours was. Alistair, it doesn't matter. Mine was saying all the great works that these people had done, things to drugs, but then saying, but imagine what they could have done if they hadn't how much better their stuff could have been.

Yeah, yeah. Well, what ain't, wait, what should we do with the iron stain thing? I think the iron stain thing, sorry, just to kind of... Let's try and get ourselves back together, Alistair. Oh my goodness. I've got Einstein dirty purve. I mean, which doesn't necessarily have to be outside

of this particular thing, like outside of the idea, the other idea of him being sort of a bit drug fucked. Yeah, I mean, I probably like to keep it separate. Okay. Just let's keep our Einstein separated. Yeah, yeah. I'll also start putting in little dashes of sort of subsketch ideas. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I think the Einstein could have achieved so much more idea is almost a kind of an interesting rewriting of history kind of film where people who have friends of his who have fragments of work that he had created or started writing and things like that with these unbelievably deep truths and things like that, but things that you would actually have to write and make sounds so unbelievable and touching. Well, this sounds like a task that we are more than up for. Well, I mean, I would like- Two guys who can't even remember the starts of their own sentences.

I would love to attempt things like that. Of course, of course you would. Yeah, and then, and then get going on about like how people just angry with them. But the, sorry, but the idea that we could, that we are capable of writing these works of transcendent genius and that we would then use them just as background stuff in this sketch. We're doing to take the piss out of an imaginary Einstein.

I know it was like those people who like email you to say, I've got a system that wins, it allows you to pick the winner of every single horse race with a hundred percent accuracy. I just need you to send me $50. You're like, well, if you could do that, you'd be doing that. So don't pretend that you need it for some other scheme

that you've got going on. I know, but with trickery, by editing. Clever editing. By clever editing and through not having to finish, you know, I have to go into the depth of detail. Right. And by good choice of music as well, which can make things seem much more pointy than in fact they are.

When we were trying to write something that was sci-fi, that's kind of a point that you are making. Look, if we just don't give away all the details that we don't understand or can't explain. Then we can still sound like we know what we're doing. Yeah. Yeah. And so it's that, but with deep revelations and epiphanies and truth, you know, spiritual truths about existence and universe. Which I mean that is that is what you do with and universe. Which, I mean, that is what you do with, you know, spiritual truth, even more so than with science, perhaps, is that you just say a bunch of stuff and then you leave gaps, tantalizing gaps. Yeah, okay. Well, look, you invite people to imagine what's what, what could be in there there which is what I do with my

work as a dentist. Tantalizing leave tantalizing gaps into which the the observer can can mentally place. Can place like a filling or a feeling or a crown. Yeah fake tooth. An entire set of dentures. Oh yeah. Into a gum filled mouth. I say, I'm all it's, you know, it's on you. I allow you to fill that in with your mind. Yes, the self-believe. Your self-believe. Anyway, was that a bit of a distraction? No.

Was it? Uh, I mean, like I'm coming up. Nice one, I'm coming up. Nice one, nice one. Yeah. Nice one. You know, he didn't get the, I don't think you got the Nobel Prize for relatively. I don't think so. He got it for the quantum.

Yeah, he got a free work on photoelectric effect. Yeah, what do they call again? Hi, I am Kendra Adachi and I host the Lazy Genius Podcast. A Lazy Genius principle is to decide once. And I have done that by deciding that Olive and June is my go-to brand for ad home mayonnaise. I don't like to waste time and the Olive and June Manny system has everything you need and nothing you don't, all with gorgeous polishes that don't chip. Visit OliveandJune.com slash perfectmanny20 for 20% off your first oliveinjune system.

That's oliveinjune.com slash perfect mani20 for 20% off your first oliveinjune system. Photons, yeah. Imagine that though. Being able to break down light into a single unit. Tiny little particles. That's crazy. But wait, doesn't water have particle wave duality? Yeah, everything does.

OK. Yeah, it all matter has wave particle duality. But thanks to, I guess, Schrodinger's equation, it's connected to mass in this incredibly inverse way. So the heavier you are, the much less perceptible your wave form nature is. So it's only really sort of relevant for really, really small things like electrons, which you can observe them interacting like waves, but you get heavier. It's much harder and harder to do.

It's an interact like a wave. Yes. I'd like to though. I've actually started wobbling my head sort of unconsciously as doing this. Oh my god, Elostero, it's happening. Maybe that's what dancing is. It's an attempt to... To quantum entangle.

To quantum entangle with each other. Well sometimes that's what it feels like you're doing. Oh man, yes, you're really getting into it. I don't want entity. Yeah. I mean that's what bush stuff is all about. Yep. Yeah.

I've never been to a bush stuff. And God damn it, I'm never going to go. Wait, do you think, do you you think that feels like the perfect place, a bush duff where someone would misappropriate the meaning of quantum physics? I think every five seconds, someone at a bush duff misappropriate the concept of quantum physics to justify a, well, probably, to show a fuck know, well probably,

to fuck someone really. Yeah, to fuck somebody, but, you know, to misinterpret, to just validate that feeling they're getting while they're dancing. Right, right, which is probably partially heatstroke and partially, you know, some bad drug they've taken. Oh, no, but it's also just, you know, it's, it's, it's, it was a long journey to get

that person there, you know, like they weren't, they weren't, like I don't know if you were raised by if anybody is raised as a, as a complete bush dove hippie, you have to, at some point, lead yourself down that path much like a, in, you know, that movie where they, they convince yourself that you're dreaming or whatever of that shit is. That sounds awful. I read an article, or at least I looked at the photos in an article online on Vice today about some hostel that's like the real life version of the beach that Leonardo DiCaprio movie.

It's on some tropical island somewhere and it's just all these people away from the world, all these, you know, young people. And it just looked horrible. It just looked so filthy and everyone looked gross. But they're sort of free. Yeah, they're all free, they're all rotting poetry and stuff and it's just disgusting. Why is yeah, that's a really interesting thing to think about because I do also find it really disgusting Or giving each other tattoos and stuff like that. Yeah, but it's it's like it's a complete bubble that you can allow yourself into especially in those kind of like early 20s kind of times where you have this kind of weird hope and and and I don't know maybe it maybe it is just drug-fueled but I do remember times of thinking about like how art and things like that was

I don't know it's like a weird because like that was, I don't know, it's like a weird valuable thing that like in its own right that is... That justifies what, that is a higher calling than sort of any social. Yeah. Anything social, like that is above like, you know, society.

So above society and like even having to, let's say you could stay with people. Like I know of kind of like You know people who are actors or or You know things of the sort who will Go and stay with people for Extended periods of time like you know months taking advantage of take advantage of them steal from them Right, like that because it's like well, you know like this is what this is what society needs to do for me so that I can produce things for it.

I mean, that's a fascinating person and a horrible person. And that is a, that is it like an, an interesting person to, to then do like a reexamination of them now. Okay, so take that person and get rid of all the art stuff, right? And then just make them and then have people look back at their lives and say, well, really, the way in which he took advantage of everyone around him was his art. And we talk about the sort of the genius of the subtle genius of the way in which he was able to just leech off people benefit off of the work of others. Yeah, but then you know like but then you kind of get into this

thing where it's like well suddenly the the the politics of that is kind of heading towards like a point where you're like well you know there shouldn't be art grants and there shouldn't be this kind of thing like that. So everything should be, you know, pay for itself and all that kind of shit. No, I mean, I mean, but, okay, I see that's a route I don't want to go down. Yeah. But by the way, I did have an idea that if I was right wing, yeah, right, I would write a book that was like a parody of Donald Trump's The Art of the Deal, called The Art of the Doll. And it's a sort of a right wing satire on unemployed people and how they managed to

just scrounge off the hard work and grit of graft or whatever of others. Yeah, I wonder if we could write a sketch or a TV series, which is from the point of you of right-wing people. Of a right-wing about comedian? Yeah, or from the point of view, like it's from the point of view of right wing writers about Art artsy lefties. Yeah, I think that's really interesting. I think like you know Because Bill Lake died and there was all this celebration of Bill Lee because this culture warrior and that sort of thing Yeah, I think that I mean I think that would be great a sketch recurring sketch a series a movie, whatever you want

to call it, Alistair, about one of these, you know, a comedian on the right. And the way they see the world and the people they interact with and what they consider to be comedy and how they defend themselves and get so uptight about criticism. It's quite interesting because that is not exactly what I was saying, but that's your thing is much better. Thank you. Finally, my God.

But because they most likely have to start on the left or have to learn from people that are on the left anyway And then shift over yeah, right because there well There's no mentors on the right. There's no one good to look up to. There's no way to get any any interesting Sorry, I'm looking for a right wing drawing class I know that seems weird, but it's just one then which you're not sort of mooching off society And I'm looking for a conservative life-drawing class. One in which the model is fully clothed and probably has a real job so isn't even here. We just draw the chair where the model

would have been. Do you have any photographs of business people? Successful ones. Successful ones, yes, thank you. Please, none that have filed for bankruptcy or anything like that. Unless they did it strategically. Lockdown Trump. I mean, okay, so I think I think there's, so what is that? What is, yeah, what is this idea? There's sort of two angles on it. There's the story of a conservative satirist. Yeah. You know, looking at things like public health care, and saying, all right, what can I make fun of about that?

Right? What's stupid about that? Yeah. Or I mock that. So it could even that? How do I mock that? So it could even just be done about like a cartoonist? Yeah, I mean, I think that's probably the simplest and most relevant version of it. Yeah. Okay, so we've got a lot of stories about immigration in the latest newspaper.

So I'm going to do something about that, obviously it's a hot button issue. And I feel like I've got something to bring to that. So I've going to do something about that obviously it's a hot button issue and I feel like I've got something to bring to that. So I've got to say, well, how am I going to draw the immigrants, which features of their faces am I going to magnify? Really big and ugly. Right, so I'll start working on that. I think of all of them probably. Yeah, I think I might take all their features and make them big and stuff. An ugly? Yeah, an ugly. And so what I'll do is I'll draw all of that first. I'll spend a lot of time on that.

Yeah, really get that uglyness in. Now I've got to think of something funny to put in that little space there. I'm a... I'm a mooch. I'm a mooch. I'm a mooch. I'm lazy. I mean, that's a bit obvious, isn't it? Just saying that. So, we're just doing something like I'm not lazy. Say something like I'm not lazy. I'm not saying that. Yeah, of course. Yeah, I forget that's what I'm doing. I was going to be reminded from the other voice in my head. That's why I have this piece of paper that I've written up here on the post-it note on

the desk. It just says, remember it's satire. Don't let the anger just... Don't just write down the thing. What they would be saying. Write the opposite of that. Yeah. Equal satire.

Good, good. All right, onto the next hot button issue of the day. Government waste. All right, so what are we going to do? We're going to draw the government there and then a big pile of money. And then put it in a bin. And then it's in a bin, they're on the bin all right, economy, the economy. And there's a shoveling it in there. And then they've got their pigs, and their nose is in a trough as well. While we eating the money.

Yes, that's quite good. And it's on fire. Yeah, it's on fire. Because they're also irresponsible, don't think things through. Anyway, so look, we get at the moment, I'll just see it as like a short kind of character piece, you know, about moments in this guy's life. Maybe even shorter than what we did just then. Do you think that went for way too long? Well, obviously the barely formed waffle where we both waffle over the top of each other.

So it's double waffle is entertaining in and of itself. But I think we could tighten it up. No, they would only go for one minute. Alice there, it's punchy. Yeah, that's okay. Well, I don't know. We haven't got a punchline yet. So the waffle

was all I'd had going for. You're right. Yeah. Okay. I guess he could die in the thing as well. Yeah. That's kind of fun. Yeah, that's true.

They're awful. That's, you know, some of the, that was one of his classic cartoons. They're awful. That's, you know, some of the, that was one of his classic cartoons. They're awful. So I think it's quite good if this is a, maybe a story about what he was like. Oh, no, sorry, about what he is like, right? So the interview him and the interview other people, and then he dies during the documentary. And maybe one of the people being interviewed is told that he's died during the interview

and then has to change what they're saying in the interview. That's really cool. And being sort of mildly critical to just sort of basically a haggiography of like, fearless. Okay. So fearless is, so you start saying things about it. You can. Look, I'll be honest, I would say, feel us. So you you start saying things about it. Yeah, look, I'll be honest, I thought he, he, I think he, I think he continues to just

choose cheap targets and it's a bit sad the way his career has gone in the later years, like early on he showed obviously artistic ability and you know, he had a flair for capturing, you know, it is in credit, features of different politicians politicians that sort of thing and then later in life he got lazy and money No, yeah, so the money, you know, obviously he saw where that was and he didn't really want to keep learning Sorry, sorry, we just found out that I just realized I was already talking about it in the past tense But it's bit conflately he he has in in later life. I fucked this bit completely. He has in later life, I think, started to just really... I would just find out that I'm sorry that he actually

just passed away with a stroke. Fearless is the word I would use. Fearless. Absolutely not willing to bow to the, you know, the wowsers. And he was a great Australian, he was a larykin, you know, and we've always had a great history of not taking ourselves. And then could you say, oh, he's actually, we, oh no, he's just pulled through. Oh, well, and, and, and, and weak. And the punchlines just weren't there. And then consistently

he would, you know, he would fall back onto these stock characters and these sad... No, he just fell in his head. Brave, so brave. And he was like that. He would dive head first into anything. And I think it's fitting that he went out the way he lived. You know, just with his heart on his sleeve and his head held high or down on the ground,

in this case. But in general, I think I've been being a real inspiration to me and to a generation of Australian satirists. And I think if we all could learn one thing from him, it's that we should... Sorry, they've just let me know that He's a dog is a dog is it alive? He's a dirty dog. They've had to sever all the parts of his body except for his head So he know he's just a head late He's a dirty dog who I loved and he was it was bad like a kiss a kiss him and if I Horror horrible dirty now he's wearing a hat and it's I and the hat was shit the hat Everyone hated that hat.

Oh, the hat just died. It was a living hat. It was one of those racoon hats. It was interesting what the hat was trying to do. And I think we all were admired the choices of that hat. Oh, no, no. The hat's hat has just died. But to lose, I think, and I think we all feel that loss is what I'm trying to say. Yeah, okay

Something I think I think that's I think that's really fun that that to me is the whole sketch Yeah, that's good that Things happening maybe in the background for some reason We've just heard yeah, I think just that the news keeps coming in the first for some reason. We've just heard. Yeah, I think just that the news keeps coming in first, that's to keep catching. Yeah, all right, you get it then. So, that's good. He's, his body is currently in the ambulance and while the ambulance is in motion, we're

not actually able to contact the ambulance. So by striding as law, he's both alive and dead. Ah! He is disgusting and beautiful and the things he did were shameful and made me proud. Made me proud to be Australian and him. Because we're all one. We are all him, but not me, I'm not. Because these deaths remind us that we're all fragile and one person, but also the people

remaining alive make you bold and tired with life. Yeah. Anyway. Anyway, so that's it. But look look we've got four so far. So what about this? Yeah, it's a sketch in which the people being interviewed about people who have just died keep dying, right? So So it's a sketch where people are being interviewed about people who've died. Yes, and then the person being interviewed dies and then the interviewer

Has to switch into now being interviewed mode, I guess Okay, you know, obviously they were the last person to talk to live And then the cameraman yeah the cameraman's interviewing them as it progresses, I guess the people become less and less qualified to be conducting the interview and presumably less and less interesting to talk about. Yeah, so I think maybe the first people to die have seen somebody, but then there was sort of people in the background sort of watching on like that, like watching the interview, and then they come in after those people that are being interviewed.

But I think the people who come in, oh, okay, all right, so yep, yep, no, that makes sense. But you were sort of, I think initially you want the people to be some kind of celebrity or have some level of recognizability. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, not the original people that died. The original people that died, but maybe the first couple of people. Yeah. Because I'm picturing, Malcolm Turnbull died. And then Karyo Brian was talking about him. Okay, Malcolm Temple dies. Right?

Christopher Pine is back in the interview about him. Christopher Pine dies during the interview. He's being interviewed by Kerio Bryan. Kerio Bryan starts talking about him. And then Kerio Bryan dies. And then someone person who was interviewing Kerio, and he's like, Oh, so you think it's go straight away,

not have just some random, because I feel like going straight from the interview or going in is almost like, it's almost blowing our load too early. You can't do that, that's no good. No, you don't want to do that, it should be shamed for doing this. I'm just saying you're not getting as much enjoyment

out of the thing as you could possibly be getting. And I want maximum enjoyment. Yeah. So that's why I'm just saying you're not getting as much enjoyment out of the thing as you could possibly be getting. And I want maximum enjoyment. Yeah. So that's why I'm thinking, there's people just around when Carole Brown is getting interviewed. And so then somebody who was there, you know, and then that person dies, then the interviewer goes in. Yeah.

Then the camera man. Right. Right. Right. We're just trying to wonder what the Individual would say about this random person when they've been asked about this random person But they were essentially doing a Fox pop too. Yeah, I mean, but I guess that is funny. Yeah, but that's why it's like It's like the lack of importance. I guess that's funny the joke you were making L.A. Yeah, and but then what could they be dying of is it everybody doing something different or is it all related to this?

I think they're just consistently having hard attacks. It's all hard attacks? Yeah, it's something nice and quick and people understand the visual language of having a hard attack. You know, you got your chest. What about choking on a set of a where there's original? Especially if it's an old man. Okay. If these people are consistently being given where there originals, keep dying while after the other.

How many people have to die before this TV station will stop giving people being interviewed worthers originals? Or a fisherman's friend? Which just as a baseline is a terrible thing to do to someone you're trying to interview. You don't want them chewing. You don't want them chewing, particularly quite a chewy toffee.

It's not chewy, it's very hard. Is it crunchy, the weather's a real thing? Yeah, the weather, if you're not getting it confused with a Pascal's chocolate a clay. Yeah, or a fan tail. No fan, that was what I was thinking of. Yeah, I know. No fan tail.

A fan tail. It's sort of like the chocolatey red skin in many ways. It's weird because the fan tales, they're not really fan tales, are they? They're more celebrity stories, or biopics. Maybe they're written by fans. And so it's their tales to tell. But is it really their story to tell? I mean, it's in a form of appropriation really really, for a fan to be telling the story of the story. Absolutely. But what if they're mistailing it? Then it wouldn't be the kind of tale that the celebrity themselves would tell.

The salesmen tell unless they'd had caught the life. You know, I'm going to really remember some of the details, you know, because I'm back to the drugs thing. Um, all right. What was the sketch idea? Okay. People keep dying and interiors. Okay. Interview ease.

I think maybe Alistair, we can, depending on how much fun we have with it, right? We can oscillate back and forth between people of note dying and then people of no interest, whatsoever. And maybe, you know, if some boring person dies, and okay, okay, a boring person is being interviewed by quite a famous interviewer. And then the interviewer dies. No, the boring person dies, and then the interviewer is being interviewed by... Oh, look, I'm confused. But I think there could be some fun changes of pace in there. I'd like to just clip up that little bit there. And use that as promo.

I use that as promo for the show. Anyway, guys, we have trouble keeping a trainer thought, listen to our podcast Thanks a lot for listening come on in And look and that is the five sketch ages for today. So here we go. We got Alan and exorced comedy premises Great and so we make sure I started the episode with the talking about masturbating into the ocean I don't know That was great. I'm it's stupid to, it's not written anywhere.

No, okay. Having sex with birds and then masturbating onto a coral. Coral? Yeah, coral, but also cactuses, which are kind of like land coral. Yeah. You know? Um. Um.

I mean, the cactuses, it's quite sparky. It doesn't want you to attach it, but as the guy on the stop, you're touching yourself. Nearby. I'll take that cactus. And then throwing the result at it. You don't, you don't, you don't want intimacy, but there's nothing much more intimate than this. Ha ha. Oh.

Oh, it's top to time. I'm so ashamed. Top to time. Is that still in character? The guy is just masturbated onto the character? Yes, he's so ashamed. Yeah. And we've got new geniuses.

A lot of cactus is a quite phallic as well. That's a triple phallic, sort of like a kangaroo. Really, they're the kangaroo dicks of the flora world. There's the new genus, which is that sort of big flat, aquatic kite with a tentacle. And I think the tentacles should be furry. You think so? No, just on the back?

This is more like a tile. I don't mind if they just got a furry back or is it furry sort of like a pig skin? Yeah, right. It's sort of fleshy. Fleshy. But then it's like a bristly kind of thing. A bristly like it's Greek. Yeah.

Yeah. Yes. Maybe they're found near sort of Les Boss or something. It's kind of like, it's prickly like a shaved leg. Right, right. It's got five o'clock shadow. Yeah, like a leg that you've been shaving since year 12. And now you have to shave it every morning. And so it gets a five o'clock shadow.

Do you think, do anybody has a leg with that gets a five o'clock shadow? Yeah, definitely. Like, like did it actually look sort of grayish? Yeah. Yeah. Who, who would, I guess like, who's shaving their legs that much like a model?

A model or maybe a cyclist, you know, cyclists shave their legs. Daily? Probably. Anyway, right in if you know anybody who gets five o'clock shadow on their legs. And then we got Einstein is a dirty purve. So the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, kind of fantasy. Yeah, and it would be something about like the 50s and things like that where they...

I think he was pretty, I think he was doing his best, the experiments in the 20s and 30s. Things like that. Yeah, all right. But it's still, back in those days, they were still, they're still very pure tanical, and they, you know, they would have never not accepted his great work. They recognize his genius, absolutely. And so they just worked around it. And at the time it was very easy. It wasn't as much mass media, so it wasn't as much content to trim.

I mean, if he'd had a blog or a vlog. These days, if it was on Twitter. It would've been really hard to keep all that. You know, yeah. It starts tweets. Imagine being on a train traveling close to the speed of light and also you've got your dick and you're squeezing it between the doors of the train. Yeah it's sort of like Einstein's mind but with Rob Dillon these tweets. Yeah. Something about pushing a popsicle up in and out of your ass. Anyway.

Anyway. Einstein could have done more, which was, you know, this is more of, it's almost a dramatic story, but it'll be also be funny. But Einstein was quite heavily into drugs, and that's what a lot of his thought experiments were. Just trips, man. But then it's about other people and how they were disappointed in Einstein and how they thought that he could have done so much more.

He really could. He let himself down. And the world really. He could have got us into the fourth dimension. I'm really. And anyone was going to do it. If anybody was going to allow us to see four dimensions, see a real hyper cube with four dimensional eyes.

It was Einstein. He was close. He was close one day to that. And then he took a hit of the bone. Oh, no. And it was actually, it was actually, you know, hit a salvee or something like that. And then he went into it just deep. He wasn't, he wasn't in our world anymore for that period of time, so then he just mumbled it to a brick in his hallucination. You know? We speculate that some of his best ideas were mumbled

to bricks in hallucinations. I mean, oh, my goodness, to have been a fly on the wall that that brick was in and that hallucination. A hallucinated fly. I thought I was, yeah. And then we've got this right wing satirist. And we sort of see some of his life, how he came to be a right wing satirist,

like a cartoonist, political cartoonist, or whatever. You know, he rose through the left-wing ranks of the... Yeah, he started out on student newspapers and it's okay. Yeah, and then eventually tilted to the right, quite severely, to a hard right, 90 degrees. So what do we do with the tone? Is the right 90 degrees to the left?

180 degrees L.C. Isn't that so they're part of the same line. Yeah. Oh, that's deep. That's not good. That's not good. No, man. Tell you what both sides of the side are. I'm calling. No. The coin isn't a line, mate. I guess I'm messy. Look at from the side. And then you got interviewees, keep dying. Yeah, well, I think the thing that you skipped out of that Saturday is that he is revealed to have died during, and one of the interviews with people and they have to keep changing their opinion of him.

Yeah. As he slips in and out of death, it's consistently resuscitated. Yeah, that's true, yeah, yeah, so that's it Thank you so much for listening to the podcast. We really do appreciate it. We love you so very very much So very very much come to see my company festival show fucker duck here. We go look at there. He goes I very much. So very, very much come to see my company festival show. Fuck it. Here we go. Fuck it. There he goes. I highly recommend it. Yeah. And you know, do all the Twitter and the Instagram and what I'll Instagram. But oh, I am. But Andy isn't in the park. I want to use stupid old, I'm stupid old Andy. And I'm at Alistair

TV of a two in tank. That's the both of us today. Twitter L a s d a i r t b Yep, and Planet Broadcast from part of that logo podcast I did two tweets today. I did yeah two tweets I suppose a reasonably funny. Oh, yeah cool. Is this a joke? I thought is life can life can really surprise you. Never does, but it has the potential to. So the joke. Sorry I was thinking about something else. Oh yeah. It doesn't matter. How about this? Is this the joke? Yeah. I'm a lot like Ice Cube, right? I consider it to be a good day if I don't have to use my AK because I lost that volume of my encyclopedia. That's good. I like that.

Thanks. Yeah, yeah. We gotta go. Thanks so much. We love you. Love you. MBC 뉴스 김