Simple Swedish Podcast - 77 - "HORRIBLENESS OF SPACE" with NICK MASON

Episode Date: May 2, 2017

This episode we are joined by the glorious slice of human Nick Mason from The Weekly Planet - @wikipediabrown Mum Fact Buster, Horribleness, Vortex, Shuttle Ad, Youtube Mash, Last Hope, Plot Point Syndrome, Vital to Plot, Last Letter, Unreal Estate Video Two in the Think Tank is a part of the Planet Broadcasting family  You can find us on twitter at @twointank Andy Matthews: @stupidoldandy Alasdair Tremblay-Birchall: @alasdairtb And you can find us on the Facebook right here Produced by George Matthews Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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from our great mates. Hello and welcome to a very special Christmas episode of Two in the Think. Oh, that was the ghost of Christmas past. Coming up later on, later in the future. That's a little thing. Flash forward to the ghost of Christmas past. You know, really was that the first clip show? We'll get to that later in the program. You're You're listening to two in the think tank. I'm Andy and I am Alistair George William, Tromba virtual and this is this show We come with five sketch ideas and if we said that but yes

We got it that goddamn introduce the guest because we're not people who put off introducing guests I was I was hoping to leave it to LeVery End as like a reveal. Who it is. Yes, yes. Maybe not have him say anything. And then if people see, people can guess from the way it's affected our... Well, he sort of already farted my mind.

I already did the fart noise. People can tell, they know it's very specific. Into the mic. And people know your's very specific. To the mic. And people know your mouth farts. That's right. I'm famous for them. And I thought you guys are sort of, you guys are lefty media relates.

I thought I'd bring the tone down immediately. Oh yeah, yeah. Yeah, definitely. The greens are not going to have us back at their banquet. The end of year sort of steamed pumpkin and oil party. I mean, why would you steam it if you're then just going to put it in oil? I mean, just fry it and then at least get the benefit

of the fry. Oh, no, no, no, because then you break up a lot of those sort of, those double bonds and things like that in the sort of the oil oleic acids. And a lot of those sort of the important bonds and things like that. Oh, really? The oleic acids and a lot of those sort of the important lipids in there that, you know, they get lost. So you break up the lipids and then you fry the lipids? No, no, that's the reason why you don't fry the oil because you get it too hot and then the lipids break up and then they lose a lot of their good properties.

Don't you guys know anything about the Mediterranean? Like the Beatles. Yeah, the Beatles. Yeah, the Yoko was the frying process. Yeah. The Beatles. And John was sort of yes. Yes. Yes. What was the death of Stuart Sutcliffe? What was that in the cooking process? That was peeling the carrots. It's apparently you shouldn't do because I think a lot of that, a lot of the goodness is in the in the skin, the skin.

And then who's the guy who shot the producer who shot a woman in the head? Big hair, Joel Spock. Yeah, Phil Spock to introduce. Yeah, that's right, he was MSG. That makes a lot of sense. Yeah, so, anyway, this meal, the beat, no one knows this, but the history of the Beatles is actually a masala curry. There you go. He's following it.

He followed it closely enough. The whole thing is just a recipe for masala. I know. And it was the smell of the masala that drove the young women crazy. That's a bit like a fake because they weren't used to spicy food. Spicy food and that's England. Well, it looks like the profusity is going to come true. And we're actually not going to introduce our guest to the point.

You know what? You kept on rolling and I considered not saying anything Did my have actually happened look to be honest. You're gonna have to I've forgotten your name Now you can do it. I'll stay you can do it. Hello, and welcome to the show Mr. Nick makes it's me. Hi guys Thank you, and I'm sorry if if I've already veered this into a really bad weird sort of strange place Possibly a ditch maybe that we may not recover from. No, we're definitely gonna recover. We're gonna recover. We just keep digging down and eventually. And there might be one of those underground sort of, you know, like those, like one of those salt caves that sort of sink holes fall into. Maybe they're... So we could go dapet. Yeah, we could go deeper under there and under there, there'll probably be something. Something good.

Yeah, maybe another wall. Or, certainly more words. I mean, what else is, is there anything else other than good? Yeah, no, there's some, there's sort of white slimy creatures from that movie, The Descent. Oh, I haven't seen that.

Me neither, but I was very scared by the trailer. No, where they ghosts. Oh, ghosts aren't slimy? Ghosts aren't slimy. Ghosts are very slimy. Ectoplasm. Yeah, okay, so what point? So Ectoplasm is real. It's like real matter.

You know what I mean? In the world of Ectoplasm is existing. Ectoplasm is real matter. Is that right? But then there's a part of them that is sort of like... Phantasm. Phantasm.

So is that really the other thing? Or you are... Oh, no, I'm so sorry. Look, a lot of people... This is from the first 10 minutes of Ghostbusters. But this is so weird. The phantasm... It's interesting that within the talking about the occult,

we consider if you can justify something as having been in Ghostbusters, like, it becomes a ghost fact. That's right. Like, it's all lies, but it's certainly the things that are in Ghostbusters, at least, like, you could cite them as a reference. That's true. If not Wikipedia, then, like, some sort of fan-based Wikipedia, which is, like, one step removed from reality. So do you think, in the end, maybe the things that they were busting about ghosts was myths? I mean, it would have been a different film. If they'd sat down and then instead of using those laser guns to trap the ghosts, they'd use them to carve a proof onto the wall of the building explaining why ghosts do not exist, which I almost did try to do that to my wife Carly and I got nowhere.

But were you carved something into her? Well, no. With a laser? I would have had more success. Yeah, I sat down. I felt like I should be able to empirically prove just through conversation that ghosts do not exist. And she stymied me at every turn. It was very frustrating. Really?

Yeah. Well, because you found the limits of your knowledge. Is that what it was? I, well, I refuse to accept that, Alistair. I think I found the limits of my rhetoric in the context of the car park we were in. And I will accept no further defeat than that. Well, to be honest, if I was to lose an argument,

I wouldn't mind using the limits of knowledge itself, rather than my knowledge, but the limits of the ability to prove things. Anyway, look, the important thing here is, is Ghost Mythbustersusters a sketch idea? Well, here's a twist on a mythbuster thing. Because I think it's timely. Oh, absolutely. To take this on.

And I think ghost mythbusters is very, very good. Oh my God, thank you so much. I was wondering what about this. Okay. Things my mum told me busters, right? And you got your team and you just try and bust things that your mum told you. Like you've got to close the screen door. Mm-hmm.

Yep. Or the bugs will get in. Okay. All right. Or don't spoil your appetite. That's, look, that's something. Okay. All right. Or don't spoil your appetite. That's something. Okay. Back to ghost, my bum.

No, no, no. What about sort of a fact, buster's type thing? So it is a mom. Yes. And then, but she's looking at things like Western medicine. Sure. And she's proving to you why it's bullshit. Yeah, okay.

Yeah. And she's proving it to you sort of through conversation at a family gathering. Or is she proving it to you through like a series of Facebook messages? I think I think. And she's proving it to you. I mean, obviously in a very rigorous way. Look, I think that it's a piece to camera. So she's, it's a piece to camera. So she's it's her possibly standing

This is she's not standing in a kitchen because that's where mother's belong But that's just where she does a lot of her talking from right and and she's wearing an apron not because she's cooking Oh, yeah, just with it just it just stops her from getting things on her clothes Like sometimes it just oil because from getting things on her clothes. Like sometimes it just oil, because she's actually loves working tinkering with cars. They, okay. Oh, she's, you've turned it around.

That's very good, yeah. But when she, like, she's making a cup of tea, that's why she's in the kitchen, because she makes a cup of tea, and then she comes and she tells you why things like. But she's not making the cup of tea because it's her role to do that. Absolutely not.

She loves the cup of tea. She loves the cup of tea and you shouldn't read anything further into that. Right. This podcast has become so defensive. In the last few episodes, in the week. She's such a terrible host that she hasn't offered anyone else a cup of tea. Absolutely. And that is really quite progressive.

Isn't it though? Mm-hmm. And it's very defensively woke. This podcast actually went in that way. Yeah. And it's very defensively woke. So, it's broke, I reckon, that's the expression. Is that a great expression? I mean, it's a new one that I've just came up with then. I think it's like, woke to the point of not even being able to finish a sentence.

There are so many caveats and prefaces. And look, I mean, this is just my opinion, and I'm willing to be proven wrongs that nothing ever gets done. I reckon I reckon put that saying straight into phantasm. And straight into our oven dictionary. I was just trying to reference an old thing. Look, is there a thing where it's a mom factbuster? I mean, we didn't really go into the examples of,

you know, how she would, but you know, like, sometimes, you're, as your mom, this is something my mom does. Sometimes I say something that I'm think is pretty, I'm pretty sure it's true, but then my mom will go, oh, I'llister. Like, like, so deeply offended that I would even consider this idea to be true. And I'm like, I'm pretty sure that's true. Like what kind of thing? Like we're talking, they mostly medicine based things. Like it could even be just like, even that, like just the fact that I may have read a scientific fact or a scientific theorem on the internet.

Yeah, it's enough to disprove it. To disprove it. That's right. Yeah, yeah. So to disprove it. To disprove it. That's right. Yeah. So, I think this is great, the way in which your mum busts whatever particular thing you're proposing. I think that would be great catchphrase too. Oh, Alistair.

It could make some t-shirts about that. Alistair is the viewer as a whole. It's the viewership, is Alistair. Yeah, I think that's good. That's a... Hello, Alistair is the viewer as a whole. It's the viewership, is Alistair. Yeah, I think that's good. That's a, hello Alistair. Get away. We're all Alistair. Yeah, oh Alistair.

Oh Alistair. Oh Alistair. Yeah, I think we could get various different Alistair's to ride in with possible facts So so only people who are called Alistair are actually allowed to get questions answered well I think it's like the what what the what the fuck are not there? They're just you know whoever listens to this is a is a no Alistair as a no-alist Yeah, yeah, okay Alistair. There's a no-alistair. Okay. Yeah. Okay.

Alistair. I can look, and I think we should cast your mum. Really? Into a pit. Oh, sorry. I'm sorry. You took a turn. Was that the ghost of Christmas past as a return?

And look, if you could put a little starsterics and mention whatever the thing was that I said, just so that it doesn't die. Past, you know, my mom and two of that. A bit. I think... Or the... I said about busting something else. I can't remember what it was.

Things your mom said, buster, I mean, this goes both ways. Yeah, shit, oh yeah. I mean, on account of how woke we are, we're covering all the angles. I just even feel uncomfortable using the word woke. I'm worried that using the word woke is extremely un-woke. And I think it is, because we've co-opted it from probably another culture,

if I can do it. Yeah, from what I've heard, it might be from, or choose your words, Kevin. Yeah, from what I've heard it might be from... Oh, choose your words, Kevin. Oh, exactly. I'm like, oh, I don't even know what I'm gonna say this. Yeah, from another culture. I think anyone who's gonna get to the bottom of where work comes from, it's us, that's right. Let's work on this right now.

Let's get to the bottom of it. And that's a new idea. That's a new sketch is called getting to the bottom of it. And it's where three white guys sit around and just try to get to the bottom of it and that's a new idea. That's a new sketch is called getting to the bottom of it And it's where three white guys sit around and just try and get to the bottom free proctologist. Thank you. Yeah, um, which Is the busting things your mom says the like this sort of the Alistair response? Oh look this is it's so dumb It's like we're too. It's like I'm making a, like it's two YouTube channels that are warring and it's a mother and child warring YouTube channel. Right, I get it.

But they're not actually related. They're two warring brands, I feel. Great. It's a son who's got something in for his mom, but he's projecting that onto sort of O'Allister mom. And it's a mom who's got something in for his mom, but he's projecting that onto sort of O'Allister mom. And it's a mom who's got a problem, I guess, with the world and reality. And it's just a real O'Allister thing to say. Yeah. And she's just fighting, fighting truth. I think there is a sort of an extension of this in the awarding of a Nobel prize for Mum Proofs of Things.

For her work in reading Articles of Your Art center and her ongoing commitment to the first thing she finds when she Googles an idea. Sharing obviously Photoshopped photo without checking it first on Facebook, yeah. Yeah, the commitment to chain letters. Yeah, yeah. I mean, even the fact that they're still going around at this point. I think, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, be one at least continuing, but even just email. The fact that email is refused to die,

but it's definitely taken a bit more of a backwards step and the fact that any kind of chain letter is survived there. Chain email would be tempting to call that chainmail, but that would lead to all sorts of confusion. I don't think it would. I think it would be a disaster. Do you think that there is any like chain letters

still going out there, like still circulating from like back when chain letters originally started that could be considered to be an endangered species? Like do you think that it might be necessary for a student somewhere in the vein to keep this chain alive. And it would be quite tragic. Like, you know, if it was the last letter, in danger chain letters.

I feel like it was Lonesome George, the tortoise that couldn't find love. Oh, I think the Lovergas Island. It was the last one of his species and he lived to like 140 or something. Obviously, that really the last of his Be sure there wasn't even any in a zoo somewhere. No, no, no, no, no, just the last one and he couldn't just have sex with it like a sort of slightly different Tapeter he tried it didn't work. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, didn't do it for a fit

Do you think that a tortoise with an erection would sort of jack up like you're jacking up a car? And would getting a tortoise erect be the best way to change a wheel on a tortoise if tortoises had wheels? I mean, it'd be certainly a useful thing to have in the boot of your car if you didn't need your own tightachage. Is it an extremely horny tortoise? Yeah, absolutely. I mean, it feels like in the x-rated version of the Flintstones, that's how they would have changed the wheels, all that. That even just the bottom of the automobile

would be a tortoise with its legs up. Yes. And then you would just crank the dick. Right. You truly aren't jacking it up in that case. Yeah, absolutely. And is that where the phrase to jack it up comes from? From when it comes.

I mean, I'm not sure. We're around in New York. I mean, it's crazy to think that even if it wasn't, then it just would come from the idea of just masturbating a flaccid penis until it becomes a wreck. Is that? Is that where it would come from? Because I mean that's already pretty graphic. I don't know. I feel like I'm having feelings. I don't

know. I feel like- The one thing is that you're feeling something. Perhaps the Flintstones was cancelled before they reached their great industrial revolution which was just a series of Rube Goldberg-esque devices around various animal erections. Because that would have been the incidence of hydraulics and the mechanics. It would have really taken things to a new... They could have been able to lift very heavy things. What kind of coxcru-dix did early mammals have? Probably very good ones, powerful ones. Absolutely.

And then that brings in sort of like twisting motion. You could say that's right. You've got a pivot point now. I'm going to fix it. Yeah. The axle. Oh, they already had that. Yeah, that they had the axle bottle.

With an erection. Yes. Yeah, certainly, which was an erection that could live both on land and in the water. Yeah. Which I can see. The torto land and in the water. Yeah. Which I can see. The tortoises go in the water or just a little bit. I mean, just kind of like being wet,

but they don't have the flippers, so they don't go into deep, right? I think they probably yearn for the deep, but I think they're wise enough, they're old and wise enough to know their limits. And that is the need. I mean, is there something in a, in a set of a dirty, a dirty Flintstones, but which it doesn't involve, it's not,

it's not, it isn't like, it isn't like a set of dirty Flintstones. And like you go to porn, have any type in Flintstones as a, as a key word, and then you find just pebbles having sex with, you know, Dino or something like that. So I'm sorry, I even said that. I don't know why. Is pebbles the kid? No, I know, but let's just picture her.

Like, do you know those those parts? Well, let's just picture it. Let's just picture it. Okay, don't picture. Well, I mean, yeah, anyway. But it's a filthy flinstones in which the genitalia of animals were used for different things. I think from our point of view, I actually creating that and having to watch an animation in which animals' dicks are used, and so I just don't think anyone Wants to see that there might be some

Comic value in I mean, I'm sorry obviously people do want to see that obviously I'm sorry. I think it would be without a doubt the most viewed thing we would ever Have them which I don't think is that higher bar to clear for us, but But I think You know and many like think of the four skins that people could live in. Okay. And it's sort of a hammock kind of, kind of sleeping bag type situation. You could sort of transport like a...

You pull that down, you roll that out, you flop that down onto the ground, you crawl in it, and you have a bivouac off. Bivouac off. Or if you were trying to do space travel with these animals. Okay, this is quite good. Flintstones in space, 11. And how they get there, Alistair. Jetsons in prehistoric times. Oh, the great switcher, oh wow. I am sure there was a crossover for those shows right there must have been but the fact that there was Shouldn't stop us from doing a little a little a little have a little fun with that Well, I'm just yeah, I'm just thinking even if this is all we were thinking about doing and I'm sorry if we're not leaving as many If we're just blabbering. Something this is, this is the pressure

that comes from not knowing where you're going. And you're like, keep talking. How, first of all, would they launch, because I guess they're using dinosaurs of sorts to launch, to get escape velocity so they can get into space. But then also, how do they shelter themselves from the cold horribleness of the vacuum of space? Which I guess at that time they would have

thought there was an ether. Maybe. I'm not sure. I don't know where their technology was. What theory of light, did they subscribe to during the era of Flintster? Absolutely. Did they think that light was tiny dinosaurs getting into your eyes? Definitely without a doubt. Or coming out of your eyes. But all that we know for sure. I think the horribleness of space, by the way, is a funny idea. You said space is cold and horrible, and I think the idea that we could somehow measure the horribleness of space is quite a fun Horrableness of space is quite a fun concept. Like, you know, because, because it is, is it that there are like a number of existing metrics that contribute to the horribleness, like the coldness, the darkness, yes, the

emptiness, and then also the unknowfulness, which is another existing metric. Of course, it's the amount of uncertainty. And information is supposed to be the decrease in uncertainty, so the unknowness must be the increase. Increase, yes. Uncertainty. Yeah, I'm sure. And, and, and, or is that there is, is it, that there is a universal like constant out there that we can measure like much like temperature that is horribleness. Right. And like, like, could we have some kind of like a barometer, but for, for, for, for, for, horribleness.

And, wherein would that apply? Possibly be quite good on real estate websites. Oh yes. Yeah, that would be quite good. I'm- The proximity of the toilet to say the kitchen area. Right, it's a good one I think. That is very good.

That's quite good that if you could just come up with an algorithm for real estate into which you just plug in a whole lot, you go out there with your tape measure and Whatever else and you do a big equation A lot of them would be would definitely a lot of the variables would definitely be toilet Things like is there a fan in your toilet? And is there one of those windows that doesn't open? Yes, great the Is there a fan in your toilet and is there one of those windows that doesn't open? Yes, great. I mean, the number of times you have to flush the toilet to get rid of a moderately plus sized shit, I think, is a contributing factor because I think the frequency with which you give up on a shit in a toilet is is like a

Probably a good indicator of your quality of life shit or is this flush? This is the flushing Shit Fuck it Forget this or you can stay in there You've made you had your chance Fuck it We're get this or you can stay in there. Yeah, not You've made you had your chance I think the the the instances of you're walking perhaps to the door of your apartment You go past a window and there's just a naked man just playing video games in front room

I think that's you can add that to the metric in another apartment or in your apartment Ideally in another apartment, but I feel there's a different sketch. Yeah, and I could also just like, sometimes if you just, if you have proximity to a person who is just a sort of a layabout in the local neighborhood

who might be have a chance of being nude with a Game Boy near your window. Sure. Anyway, that, that. I think there's a higher version of it as well, which is where you walk past the window and there's a naked man playing computer games in your living room, and that person is you from the future

because you're seen through a portal. Right? Like, because I think like real estate would be made much worse if you kept looking through doors and windows and getting a glimpse of your very depressing future. Yeah, your own impending failure is kind of definitely would definitely increase the horribleness indication indicator on there. And a house that doesn't have sort of floor insulation. Oh sure, it's also a real bad. That is bad. So a vortex indeed, despairing future and also that's all I just quite a little bits of cold air coming between the the wood panels yeah right that draft that just comes up like it's the

opposite of in-floor heating yeah you're like and what has happened in your life if there's a drafty floor but you're still naked in the future in the future in the future yeah it's into it and makes it even worse yeah right that you haven't gone anywhere and if you can look through the future through the portal, and then see that he hasn't clearly hasn't done anything about that draft.

Except for a removed cloth. And just get a hobby. That's how defeated you are. Yeah. Because that would be really tragic. Like looking, OK, you look through a vortex into the future. And then you see yourself vortex into the future, all right, and then you see yourself looking through in the future, looking through a further vortex to deeper in the future, and he's so dead inside that it doesn't even affect him, right?

Then, I mean, that's like as you've given up, like you truly have. You've now seen two future versions of yourself, right? Yeah, both more distant and more defeated than the other. Um, and you like, because that, because you, you're just looking through into the future, you say, well, you know, at least I'm still alive. I can obviously afford next box. Mm-hmm.

You know, maybe I, I'll, I'll get it back together. Maybe I'm just going through a tough time. But then you see him looking into the future further and continuing to despair. So is this a sketch on the unavailability of sort of apartments in the inner city? Right, yes. Yes. And you were forced to take a place, a vortex in it that saw into your own future.

Yeah. And there was a naked version of you playing a thing, and it didn't have underfloor insulation. Not only that, but it also had another vortex seeing into that. Well, it's just because there are so many, there are vortexes that's obviously within his vortex. The vortex is a bide. It's like when you go into one of those lifts and there's a mirror on both sides.

Right. Of course, and you can keep seeing on, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, that makes sense. So, but I think that's great. And I think the idea of like how a polling real estate can still be and still just costs so much, because it just adds to the fact that you've seen a vortex that displays your own future. But clearly you've still taken the apart. Because it's reasonable and you've just been looking for places all day honey. And by the way I noticed that you're not there when I look through this vortex.

And I'm eating home brand two minute noodles. Out of the packet. And the kettle's just there. Still, only 20 bucks more a week. That's right. And you get to live within 10 minutes walk in the city. Mm-hmm. And you know, some good cafes around here. That's true, yeah. All right, all that's down.

I don't know, did we get to the end of the horribleness of space? I mean, I wrote it down. I don't know. Did we get to the end of the harbleness of space? I mean, I wrote it down. I don't know if it is a sketch, but I guess the measure of the harbleness of space would be sort of the inverse of whatever the most livable city factors have. Right. Sure. Sure. Sure. Okay.

So I mean, in space, certainly, the public transport is terrible. Correct. Absolutely. Yeah. Um, but all transport through space is government funded at is terrible. Correct. Absolutely. Yeah. But all transport through space is government funded at the moment. That's true. Right.

So it's technically it's public transport, the shuttle and so on. And they even call it a shuttle, which is true. It's very difficult. It's very difficult. Yeah. So it's very similar to like the kind of ride you would get like to the airport. Yeah. Yeah. So it's very similar to like the kind of ride you would get like to the airport. Yeah.

It's free, free Wi-Fi on board. That's nice, yeah. But you have to watch ads. That's video, Dracula's. You'll get to try to restart. Like when you're returning to Earth, when you're coming back down in the shuttle, they said, okay, so that's definitely a sketch.

The like, like you're coming to Earth a sketch. Like you're coming to Earth. Right? Oh, welcome back to Earth. Here a vibrant planet with many things to see and do. In order to pay for space travel, the government has had to start showing astronauts. Yes, but exclusively for Cabaret restaurant. Dracula's Cabaret restaurant in downtown Melbourne. What a place for a spook and a feed. Try and hold on to your meal as ghouls and ghastlies fumble their way through a script

written by an idiot is that now i've lost my job at the advertising agency that's i mean look just saying the words fumble their way through a script written by an idiot i feel like that's gonna come back and hold me in some way what's just saying those words that somehow they're gonna appear in it like you know like like that my love video

that they compiled all the awful things that he said during, you know, about how he was for pedophilia or whatever it was. Oh God. But your version will be just like, finding things where Andy admits that he's no good. All your moments of weakness and then someone's gonna show it to you

and force you to watch it. And then it's gonna be enough to just break your own spirit Or do you think it'll make everybody else lose respect? Well, it's interesting because my spirit is so self-deprecating already that like if it could somehow be used against itself You know like and you do in jujitsu to use somebody's strength against themselves if I could be self somebody's strength against themselves, if I could be self-deprecating about myself deprecation, which sometimes I think that myself deprecation is all just a facade to try and make other people like me more. So I guess in that way I do doubt it. Yeah, well I mean look Nick you seem like a confidant man. Thank you.

Do you have any self-doubt? Look he's pausing. Not so much these days. I think I've faked it for a really long time and it just crossed the threshold and now I'm self-confident for real. I spent many years with no self-confidence at all. Now I have far too much self-confidence. I think that's a really good place to be. I think that I project a fair bit of self-doubt, whereas deep down I have a fair amount of confidence in myself, but then over that is a thick layer of self-doubt. Right, so some of the self-doubt is fake. Yes.

And behind it, I can be outwardly self-doubtful because inside I feel there's a rock solid core of confidence But inside that maybe it's like a jelly center self-doubt. It's I guess it's like a Like a gobb stopper but with the jelly center. Oh, it's got many layers I'm trying to find something with layers that has a jelly center, but I couldn't think of those ones that starburst created The jelly centers. The jelly centers. Stubbers, jelly centers. But there's also nothing rock hard in there. So that's, I guess everything.

Well, I mean, I guess science doesn't know until we send up some sort of a probe down into the heart of a Starburst, jelly center, to determine, you know, maybe we could use seismic graphs or something, you know, like the things that you measure earthquakes. Yeah, let's send one of those into it. Yeah, I jelly sent it starburst, yes. Like the big thing with the needles flowing. Correct, yes. And so you would try to play that.

It's not only on the side of a dam, for example. And so you would put that inside a tiny starburst jubber center. Yes, and then I'll stay, yes. What would you learn from that? a tiny starburst jelly center. Yes. And then Alistair, yes. What would you learn from that? No, it's really clear. You just represent it. You would just by sentence back to me, basically. Boy, wouldn't you get content?

Wouldn't you just get jelly on the paper? Is it still, is it a digital one? Or is it sort of one of those analog ones? It's an analog one with big pins on it. Yeah. Pins on an arm that you go backwards and forwards. Yeah. I know.

Would you get a smaller one? Or would you get a really one or would you get a really big you get a full one? Yeah, you get a full one a full big one, but an enormous sized Yes, how are you else are you gonna get an accurate rate how are you picture you make a giant one? It won't be represented. It'll be meaningless. Okay, but what part would you start putting into the jelly? You just get it in there like a wall office pit Okay, so like a corner or one of the needles. Oh, yeah, you're gonna use one of the flat edges, LSD. Oh, he could.

You could just keep pushing until it bursts. I mean, which is the thing it does? Yeah, well, we don't know until we start. Start. First. Start burst. Oh, God. Have you seen those videos of it's just a gut?

It's just someone's got in the hold of them, like a giant drill press or like a water, like one of those water cutters and they just cut. Well they just crush a thing. Yeah, like pretty good, right? It's pretty much the best videos on the internet. I mean it's something that delivers exactly what it says. It's going to be.

Anything ever defeat the drill press, unlikely. Well, it's all right, especially if you keep putting things that won't defeat it. Right. And I like it because there's no irony there. It's honest. Do they ever try to battle to drill press? I don't think they ever have.

No. That's what it needs to go. Okay, so it's like it's the 47,000 watt 2kx mark 3 shredder, but will it bounce? Like you push it off the road. Yeah, that's where the future of YouTube is going. We're gonna just mash up everything at random. Yeah Like yeah, but then also I look I don't want I think maybe this is this water cut it can cut for anything but can it cut through YouTube sense? wrenchy Oh

Oh, Australia! Don't know what we're doing. Australia! It's mostly videos of him yelling the country that is in at the time. And I feel perhaps, perhaps he can defend against that. Like the more likes he gets on his next video. He can have like, he can have fans come in front of him, like step in front of him, throw themselves in front of him and deflect the water cutter perhaps. Can it cut through his layers and layers of like self promotion?

I don't know, whatever. But that YouTube mashups is the future. I think so. It's like crossover episodes for Lauren Order and what was that one with the casino? Los Vegas. Yeah. Did that happen? I think they were the same. They did. Los Vegas, I definitely saw crossovers with Los Vegas and something else.

Wait, when you say did it happen, do you mean like there's a chance that at the end of Los Vegas it was all a dream? Potentially, you know? Or the dream of an Vegas, it was all a dream? Potentially, yeah. Or the dream of an autistic boy. That's off in the way it goes. You guys have talked about that before on this song. You all have that feeling. They tell me Westphal universe.

Well, that's the way it goes. Well, because this is what I'm wondering with this new Roseanne reboot. Yeah, they're proposing is that they're saying that they're gonna bring back the original cast, but at the end of Roseanne, oh, here we go, spoiler alert everybody, yeah. Right, it was a dream because actually her husband

had died, but then she was writing a life story as if he were still alive and they'd won the lottery. But that was the whole season thing, right? Like that only kicked off in a certain season. Yes, yes. So maybe this will be going from then. Was it, but Dan will have died? Was it Dan?

Yes. Is that John Goodman? Was it Dan? Yes. Is that John Goodman? Yes it is. I'll be interesting, because they're also bringing him back. Yeah. So maybe, there could be bringing him back as a corpse. Yes.

So instead of dreaming and writing a book, she kind of just went a little bit insane and just kind of stored his body with people to move just somewhere in the house. So it's a breaking bad-esque thriller in which he has to prevent the authorities from discovering that she's, she's got the cults of a husband in the house. It's gonna be called Stashing Dan. Yeah, I think that's good.

I guess it's, yeah, calling him Dan these days makes him more Like more likely to be confused for Dan Acroid because I feel like John Goodman is easily confused with Dan Acroid Did don't you think he's one of those kind of like Gary Bucy Multi kind of situation Dan Acroid John Goodman one of those situations. Yeah. It's a Nick Busey situation. Yeah, like a Jennifer Garner and then the other girl that was in Dude, Where's My Car. Kind of. Shannon Elizabeth? Is that Shannon Elizabeth?

Maybe Shannon Elizabeth. American piloting? Yeah. Or maybe she wasn't in Dude, Where's My Car. Oh, I don't think I'm singing the Shannon Elizabeth. Is a girl who looks more like Jennifer Garner? Yeah. Well, you can see where we're all at. It could have been, is a girl who looks more like Jennifer Garner. Yeah, well, you can say where it could have been I could be thinking of two Jennifer Garner

We were set up to fail Jennifer Garner and dude who is my car and then Jennifer Garner and I like to an alien or a lecture. Yeah, sure Is she an aliens now a leus? Oh a leus the the the spy TV was that her? Yes Really you thought it was the other woman, but it's her I just thought alias was some nobody. No, it's it's the great Jennifer Garner Which one's Jennifer Connolly? She was in the rocker tier and the Hulk the rocker tier like that movie with the guy with the Rocket backpack. Yes. They're very safe. Yes. Was it the helmet from Ant-Man?

No. How dare you? I know, but I'm just like a pre-Ant-Man, Ant-Man helmet. You know? It's got big buggy eyes if that's a big question. It's exactly what I was thinking. If that's your only criteria, then yes. Big buggy eyes.

Yeah, okay. Okay, can I go back to something? No, I don't know. I think where we're at right now is good. We're good-life. It's warm. Okay. Yeah. Okay, can I go back to something? Yes. I don't know. I think where we're at right now is good. We're a good, warm couple of people. We're just yelling about big buggy eyes. Here's a thing I thought, right?

So is it possible that, because I mean, the example that we gave of the, it was all the dream of an autistic boy was St. Elsewhere. That's right. So is it possible that you would ever go to a doctor? It's like, because what that at least means, right, is that in the show saying elsewhere. Why don't more infant formula companies use organic, grass-fed whole milk instead of skin? Why don't more infant formula companies use the latest breast milk science?

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to use organic grass-fed whole milk, not skim. We even conducted the largest clinical trial by a new infant formula company in a quarter century, with clinically proven benefits like easier digestion, less spitt up, and softer poops versus a leading infant formula. And we make our own formula in the USA and our very own factories in Iowa, Oregon, and Pennsylvania.

Buy heart, a better formula for formula. Learn more at buyheart.com. Where none of those people who were sick in that hospital were actually sick. Oh, right. So, is it possible that you would go to the doctor and be diagnosed with a terminal illness? And they would say, and the doctor would tell you, look, it's not looking good, but there is some hope.

This could all just be the dream of an autistic boy. Yeah, that's good. I like that. Looking at a snow globe. Now we get to have to do some tests, obviously. It's a term in that. So we're going to take a biopsy. And can you remember any of your past prior to this? Exactly. You only remember your past up until the point after you came in the in the waiting room into the hospital and in which your story intersected with mine. Do you recall ever being looked at by a small artistic

boy maybe so that he could have formed some kind of idea. Do you resemble some sort of advertising mascot that he could have incorporated into? We really should have realised it was all a dream when the cool-aid guy came in with the third stage lung cancer. Oh, the funniest stage of one cancer. Anyway, I've lost my brain. I've lost my hand. I smoked two packs a day for a long time. Really?

Yeah. And he was fine. And he was fine because in the end he was just He was just a Michelin man He was just the Michelin debt which my dad had worked at And so my dad had just dreamed him up So great when we found that out It was a huge relay for everyone He believed that he had dreamed up his father-in-law

And the elements that ails them. What about hang on? Yes, that... No, it's gone. It slipped away. You do some tests to try and work that out. If you're asking questions, do you remember ever playing a different character in a different TV show?

Absolutely, that would be good, won't you? Yeah. Yeah. Did you even possibly appear as a doctor in an earlier season of this show in the background of a scene? And yet here you are as an unrelated character who is suffering from a different syndrome?

Do you feel that the illness you have ultimately only exists so that I can work through something in my own mind about my own insecurities? Because if it's relevant to me, ultimately, then you probably just part of a dream. So just before I move on, do you have any messages for you, or any kind of metaphor? Before I move on to do you have any messages for you? Any kind of better for you?

Before I move on to the next patient, which I will. Yeah. I think that's really interesting. Like, you know, you would go to a doctor, you would get a terrible prognosis and you were saying, I just don't know how to process this. I mean, why me? Why does this have to happen to me?

And the doctor would say, well, my father died of this disease. And obviously, it's something that I need to confront in order to get some kind of closure. So, I mean, I guess being able to accept that I can't help you will help me ultimately to accept that I couldn't have helped my father. I'm going to learn a lot from this. So that's probably why you have this disease. I like the idea of like a house MD kind of situation where every week a patient helps him. And he just deals with him metaphorically. It's a deal with him. The episode. Yeah, right. But it's like it's like everything happens for a reason, doctor. We've got to figure out why you've got cancer. It could be that's to help

Antoine the race car driver to find the inspiration that he needs to beat the Indy 500. Right, right. Yeah, if he could be thinking about you on the start line and the impact that you've had on his life. So yeah, we've got time. You've known each other. We've really got to examine the characters that are currently in your life and the purpose. I think that's really great. I think like, you know, he could talk through some of the possible causes of the cancer. Like have you ever smoked? You know, have you, you know,

sometimes asbestos, as comes from people who've, you know, worked on or even come close to people who've been working on building sites. And if neither of those is the case in the only other possible explanation is that it's as a plot point. That's right. I always, what about this, right?

It's a related thing, but in movies, when you know characters are going to die, you can always work out who's going to die based on who has the right amount of backstory. If you're invested in a character just enough, but not so much that it's gonna totally derail the plot. Yes, if they die, you're like, oh damn, I'm really sorry. Look, if I can spoil the plot of Fast and the Furious 8 for everyone, if you're like, oh damn, I'm really sorry.

Look, if I can spoil the plot of Fast and the Furious Eight for everyone, if you don't have to be spoiled, but our main character, Vin Diesel, and his lovely girlfriend, Michelle Rodriguez. Right. Earlier on, have a chat about wanting to have children, are they ready to have children? Yes.

But then it turns out Vin Diesel's girlfriend from a previous relationship and a movie arrives back on the scene with a child. Sure. And then of course the clock is ticking on that previous girlfriend. She is not a contractor for any more movies. But it's a very convenient way to get them a child without having to acknowledge that sex exists.

Yes, exactly. The first and the furious refuses to do. That's right. This is about cars and gnomes. And gnomes? There's some g kill about NOS. It's NOS. This NOS still happens. Yeah. Corona's around.

Really Corona's around. The Corona is around. Well, I thought they could drink any beer as long as it was Corona. Nuts out. I think was, was that the exact line? And was he referencing Harry and Reford talking about you? You can have any color. I'm not sure if this is black.

Well, maybe. I mean, to me, that's the deepest thing in Fast and the Fist would be a Henry Ford reference. Which is a car reference. The entire thing is just a metaphor for the original production line. Rebirth of the Industrial Revolution. What would the submarine and the 8th Movie be in terms of that metaphor is that oh there is a submarine. Yeah, there's a submarine that breaks through ice I think that's impending fatherhood. That's impending fatherhood in the sort of automation. Oh, we're still doing Henry Ford I think that that's the disruption brought about by the introduction of the Japanese

Manufacturing after World War II I think that that's the disruption brought about by the introduction of the Japanese manufacturers. Yeah. Of course. Yeah. And fatherhood. Yes, that's the thing. Because I mean, that would also impact on the sort of how productive your work is. It made a bigger car. It made a bigger car.

And so I guess it's both helpful, but it's also hurtful because you know, it costs you money, but at the same time, it's more powerful. You're sitting up higher more powerful you're sitting up higher. Yeah, I'm more protecting your family. I'm really good at taking any idea and turning it into a metaphor. Turned no. I was gonna say driving it into a wall which is another car. Very good. Sorry you were saying Andy about people who have back story. Too much backstory. Like I mean you know it could even just tie into the one that we just discussed but also I people who have back story. People who have back story. People who have back story. People who have back story. People who have back story. People who have back story.

People who have back story. People who have back story. People who have back story. People who have back story. People who have back story. People who have back story. People who have back story. People who have back story.

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People who have back story. People who have back story. People who have back story. People who have back story. People who have back story. People who have back story. People who have back story. People who have back story. People who have back story. People who have back story. People who have back story. People who have back story. People who have back story. People who have back story. People who have back story. People who have back story. People who have back story. People who have back story. People who have back story. People who have back story. People who have back story. People who have back story. People who have back story. People who have back story. People who have back story. People who have back story. People who have back story. do anyone because he's worried that it will, that he'll be the one who dies. Or, yeah, or he decides that he has to reveal too much.

Right, so that he's totally like, yeah, right? Yeah, right, not everything. Or perhaps a guy who, he keeps stumbling into sort of revelatory situations in which he's going to die, but then he has to add another trope on top. Right. Like, maybe he's a jocke and he has sex with his girlfriend, but then he's, well, then in a horror movie, he's going to die now because he's been promiscuous. So he has to, yes, he has to have a dying father.

Right. Right. Something like if he has to, like, if he has to avenge somebody that increases his likelihood of surviving at least until the point of avenging. And then he's probably gonna die, so he's gonna have to add another light to that. Right, yeah. Or even if something bad was to happen to him, so like if he was to hit his head and lose all his memories,

they're not gonna kill him then. That's true, yeah. Yeah. I was like, I need to hit my head. Like, hey, really? I'm gonna hit my head. And then like, and then later on, you know, he's like after once he feels like he's in the clear then you can get somebody to

Like that. Maybe that'll be the instruction once I'm in the clear hit me on the head again Flooding back And then I'll go in a vanish from the guy who had got my dad Look okay, wait, so I think I think that's. I think the guy who's continually sort of skipping through life, like protecting himself by constructing a plot such as that he is currently vital to the plot. You've just got to remain crucial to the plot. And then the only real risk to you is that the actor playing you dies

in real life. And they have to write you out one way or another, like in the West Wing. But then you could probably manufacture a situation in which you are recast. Right. Plastic surgery, you get some plastic surgery, for example. So if you spend a lot of time talking about how you want to get plastic surgery, let it increase as your chance as a big brought For example, yeah, it's a horrible experience. It's a horrible experience. It's a horrible experience. It's a horrible experience. It's a horrible experience. It's a horrible experience. It's a horrible experience. It's a horrible experience.

It's a horrible experience. It's a horrible experience. It's a horrible experience. It's a horrible experience. It's a horrible experience. It's a horrible experience. It's a horrible experience. It's a horrible experience.

It's a horrible experience. It's a horrible experience. It's a horrible experience. It's a horrible experience. It's a horrible experience. It's a horrible experience. It's a horrible experience. It's a horrible experience. It's a horrible experience. It's a horrible experience. It's a horrible experience. It's a horrible experience. It's a horrible experience. It's a horrible experience. It's a horrible experience. It's a horrible experience. It's a horrible experience. It's a horrible experience. It's a horrible experience. It's a horrible experience. It's a horrible experience. It's a horrible experience. It's a horrible experience. It's a horrible experience. It's a horrible experience. It's a horrible experience. It's a horrible experience. It's a horrible experience. It's a horrible experience. It's a horrible experience. It's a horrible experience. It's a horrible experience. It's a horrible experience. It's a horrible experience. It's a horrible experience. It's a horrible experience. back as a model, your consciousness and come back as a, as a machine, right?

But if we can just get re-cast, then our characters will continue to live. Absolutely. Especially also if he often talks about his fantasy of opening up a, like a mechanics on a, on a sort of a deserted island somewhere. Yeah. And so, so he's always imagining that. Right, so you've got a plausible reason to have gone away and then come back again.

Or even in the future, just have a different life that he can just, it's a refuge that he can, that he can't. But in that instance, it also have to make sure there weren't already any existing, perhaps abandoned mechanics on Desert Islands, because then they could bury him there. You know what I mean? Yeah, of course. Yeah, of course.

You can't dream of it too hard because otherwise they could kill you and then this is what he would have wanted. That's, oh no. Yeah. Yeah, so you've got to pick something that can't already exist. Yes. This is the strategizing that comes up that is required for this sort of no loose ends method of survival.

Yes. So as long as you have writers that really give a shit about not leaving any loose ends. If we assume that we, like, it's possible that we are just characters in a sitcom. It's important that we live our lives in such a way that we can't be killed off. Yeah. Too easily. Right? And actually, it's interesting because one of the things you would not want to do in that case is piss off the writers, right?

Because if you make enemies and the writers, probably more likely to get rid of you. Well, the fact that you're improvving so much is really a piss- No, I know. And that's why it's such a delicate balance to strike. Absolutely. Yeah, you also don't want to be too sort of handsome or even maybe really too good of an actor because then there's a chance that your character will act the actor playing, you will move to Hollywood. That's true. And then people won't accept the new version of you by another actor. Right. And then you will be killed off. Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. Let's say you No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, something out loud. Yeah. That's not even my new podcast. I had a trial. I think we were at the end. I think we got we squeezed a lot out. We squeezed, yeah, particular. Yeah,

I said some words. I didn't embarrass myself. You in no way. I could have I would say embarrassed. I would have liked to have gone back to last, Extent Chain Letter. I think that would have been a right. Yeah, it's a chain letter. To be honest, look, I think we can actually go back to it right now because it didn't actually get written down because Yeah, it was still that happens a lot sometimes when I listen back to a few of you. I said you go there was four ideas Forgot. All of them. All right, wait, last chain letter. Yes, okay. And so in the wild, I think so, yeah, in the wild. I mean, because it's like the thylacene, right? Like if you want to believe that the thylacene exists, you have to keep believing that, you know,

that there's at least two thylacenes and that they keep encountering each other somewhere in the wilderness so that they're able to reproduce. So really, to believe that this chain letter still exists, we have to believe that this chain letter keeps managing to get posted to a complete idiot. Who still uses snail mail and you fucked walking to the post box. Who believes that he can send, you can put a dollar in in ten envelopes and they send them to ten different people. But one of them survives and then the guy's doing another idiot. But it's them survives. And then it goes to another idiot.

But it's all these kind of like conservationists wearing khakis. Yeah, they want to bring it back. They're trying to track it down. Yeah, like, you know, maybe they're even just kind of like hanging out at the post office and looking as the male goes, anything look like a sort of a... They're huddling over people's bins

as they're about to throw a chain letter away. And they're like, oh no, you know, it's gonna be fun to just, David Anber is sort of filming it and saying sadly, we can't intervene. Yeah. In the face. He's laying down now.

Yeah. Yeah. I think. There's a few lonely chain letters in a zoo. Yeah. Oh, you could even just be like a mini documentary, you know, like a, you know, some like those New York Times kind of op-docs that they do on a PC on YouTube

So it's like a 12-minute documentary on you know the last the last two Chain letters and maybe there's a few species so there's the ones that are like an inspirational one which is like You know and and if you do this it'll bring great things into your life But if you don't Every person that you don't send this letter to will bring 17 years of bad luck and so that's his ecological niche is praying on the well that's actually like that's almost it's that's its will of will to like that that's the only thing that keeps it alive you know as people's anyway whatever and then there's

other you know what I mean like this, does that, does that mean? Exactly. If you don't need to finish sentences. That's true, yeah. We all know what's going on. Yeah, we can't go get it. We all get it. Man, explain, that's why you don't finish sentences.

That's what podcasts listeners love. They love to finish our sentences. Yeah, exactly, thank you. And you would know. Because you've been in a few podcasts, right? I've been on a few podcasts in my time. King of content, a love content. Are you the King of content a few podcasts in my time. King of content. I love content. Are you the King of content?

Yeah, in a way I'm the King of content. He's nice to meet you. You're very welcome. Yeah, no. We just shook hands, everyone. Yeah, that's going to be a t-shirt. Yeah. It's going to be going to put that on Instagram.

King's going to be great. Yeah, it's going to be a photos of us shaking hands. Which I think you're going to put it on Snapchat. There's going to be lightning bolts. I'm going to draw around the handshake. Yeah, maybe I'm going to add a few gold rings to your hand. Yeah, yeah. The King would have- That's right, he has gold rings for you. handshakes. Yeah, maybe a few gold rings to your hand. Yeah. Because the king would have to hold the hands.

The kings are pretty shall we? It's a bit tacky even. It's the crown is really the king thing, rings and not that. It is. Anyway, conservation of chin letters. Well, I mean, in the ecosystem of podcasts podcasts though like you are a big provider of biomass and if you were to be Like, you know if you were to choke on a plastic bag say I'm not saying that something you do in your own private life But you know if you did for whatever reason then then the whole podcast ecosystem could collapse could collapse at any moment

You know, do you consider yourself a bit of a node? You know, I didn't tell this point. Yeah, because sometimes you hear about, you know, they look at all the people who have caught a sexually transmitted disease. Uh-huh, continue. And they often, it comes from you. Yeah, that's right. I'm a non-stop party animal.

Just try and stop me. You can't do it. But often, they're like, doctors, they tell me to stop. There's one person who's connected to like 75% of them, and they call that person a node, you're that version, but in terms of spreading content. Content, right? I mean, if you were to catch a trans-mittable disease,

something that could be committed, it transmitted just by breathing, it probably could wipe out all the podcasters in Melbourne. Yeah, right. Especially because so much podcasting happens in confined space. And sure it does, yeah. Paul, in a way. In a way, it's almost, it gives hope to some people.

I think. Right. Yeah. That I could be trapped with them on a train car or something like that, and they could die. Die. Yeah. I was going to say catch, catch content.

Oh, yeah, catch. Yeah. Catch a great idea for a podcast. Yeah. Do you have more ideas for podcasts? Have you ever thought about Go and Solo? No. No, no, no. Don't ever do.

Yeah, that's awful. Really bad. It was terrifying. You know, it would be too pure content. No, no. All right, like people can't, like the human body can't handle this kind of like some amount of content. You've got a density of content. You've got a diluted stuff. You've got a cut mace though. Right like people can't like the human body can't handle this kind of like The content yeah Tensity of content you've got a diluted. You got a cut. Mesa

He's like yeah, he's like you're like heroin, but I'll put in podcast for you Yeah, and a disease as well Like a note for hell. I'm gonna go through the ideas today. I think how much of that was insulting None of it. I loved it all of it is again confidence it as a good thing. Again, confidence level way too high. I'm going to take it all to compliment regardless. Yeah. OK, so we got mom FACT Buster, which is a mom who just busts FACTS. Right.

You know, scientific failure. They could be age old. She could go through some mathematical proofs and tell you why they're bullshit. Because she feels differently. She's just don't believe that it could be like that. Yeah. And what is this?

Like that she's looking at the, yeah. That isn't anything. And then there's also within that, there's also the, this is either a spin off or it's a, it's the alternate opposite show, which is totally separate thing. Yeah, no, it's a totally separate thing.

It has value on its own. Absolutely. It's just that it was asterisk rather than dashed. And this is busting things that your mom said, like, don't make sure you close the screen door. Or else mosquitoes will come in. I think somebody doesn't close the screen door. Right?

And then... No, mosquitoes come And then- No mosquitoes come in. No mosquitoes come in, the busted. Busted. Either that or like they don't close a screen door, but then something horrible happens and they get crushed by a falling polter. See that would be much more surprising. There you go.

And surprise is good. I mean, like I guess it's kind of interesting to think of what, like because nobody ever says why you shouldn't eat 30 minutes before you swim. Like, I've been told that, but I've never been told what would happen. Yeah, it's all the same. It would seem like it would drown or something like that, but it could be something like, you know,

Right. It could be something great, and they don't want good things to happen to you. It's right. Yeah, but it could be something sort of much more fantastical. You know, it could be, you know, it'll attract sort of unicorns to, but like to something that's nice to you, like to the local sort of plastic cheese factory, you know, things like that.

And then you're like, well, you know, let's grow up and beg it. Yeah, it's right. But it's all chasing unicorns on this point. I mean, it's hard to explain that to your kids that, you Vegas. That's right. But it's all chasing you in a concert this far. I mean, it's hard to explain that to your kids that, if you do that, it's just that that factory is important to the local community. It's a lot of jobs. Right.

And so if that was to go, then the unemployment rate in the town would sort of crash. And then, yeah. Right. And so that's why you don't go into it when you're explaining the kids just say, just't eat don't swim yeah 30 minutes I can't I can't get into this is the whole thing I don't have the time to explain the economics of you know cheese manufacture all the fact that all the people who

work in cheese manufacture obsessed with unicorns like and they'll just walk off the job if they see one and they'll just follow them into the woods you know so that in fact even the fact that we're 25 kilometers from a factory, I shouldn't even be saying the word unicorn because it might get over here by a factory worker. And then the other one is just the, it's just says, horribleness of space measured. Yeah, and I wonder if the sketch there will turn out to not be the horribleness of space, but rather that thing we were talking about, the horribleness of just like a rental situation or something. That's what I've got next here, which is the real estate that was so bad I had to take a place with a vortex that seems to be my own sad future.

I mean, like, look, but, you know, it's still fine. Like, you know, but wait, what was it? Has a dishwasher. Yeah. Right. So, you've wasted a lot of time. Don't have to hand wash those dishes. All right.

I see in the future, the dishwasher is broken. No. No. Wait, so, what were you going to say about the horribleness of space measure, that what that was going to be? Or was that? That it was like measuring the horribleness of space measure that what that was gonna be or was that? That it was like measuring the horribleness of real estate Based on and you know and you know every house just has a factor like you know out of ten It's just a number

Yeah, and then just represents how close the toilet is to the Okay, right, right and so and so a house Is in itself measured by like you know like you say house is a, is a 0.5 out of 10, which means it is equivalent to living in the harbleness of space. Yes. Okay. Yeah. Then we've got space travel is being paid for by showing ads to, for cabaret restaurants, to the astronauts. Yeah.

So this is because it's all government funded and so the government's having to find ways to help pay for the thing. But they can't privatize the systems, but they can't privatize the end time. Yeah, you know, like, I guess BS started doing ads, so they felt like, you know, they could also force the, you know, the astronauts to have to get sponsored for different things. No, it's not that they're getting sponsored, it's just that they're being advertised too.

It's just that it's like, it's like, like eight pairs of eyeballs say on the shuttle that are like guaranteed audience. And like, you know, they can't switch off. If they each have a steak and a starta and a... Yeah. And like, it like, three glasses of wine. That's paid for itself. So there's like an in-flight,

there's a woman who comes up and down the aisle. Oh no, they have to go to the restaurant. This is later on. Yeah, but they factored it in. They're like, well, if six of them go to the restaurant after the flight. No, that's not the word, yeah. Right, yeah, we can dastagate the money. But thought it would, yeah. Right, yeah, we could just get the money.

But I think in flight sales on this ride, as well, is also like an angle. Yeah. Maybe they've got branded pens. Oh, absolutely, yeah. You can buy for like five, but a little plushy astronaut of yourself. Apparently, people are more likely to buy things

like that in a plane, right? Like you're more likely to spend money on like that. And if that is a factor of altitude, then like once you go into orbit, that is a guaranteed sale. Oh, that's a sign. That's shit. Yeah.

You know, the lower the gravity, the higher the horribleness, the more likely you are to spend. I know, but if that's the case, then that means like if altitude is related to people's gullibility to sales sales and that means that there is a chance that one day these sort of you know like Virgin galactic things will probably be paid for by just sales companies that will say come on this trip for me and then they go up there and they're like now

Here's a great option for a condo and Florida and they're like, now here's a great option for a condo and Florida. Yeah. People are like, somewhere I was something about being up here and seeing the earth from the outside, it just makes me wonder. I mean, there's a vortex of despair in that condo. It's a bad however.

There's a big problem. So I up, you don't even get to use the condo all that often. Yeah, it's a good one. The vortex stays with you. It's a time share and a time vortex share. It's a time share. Something about seeing the curvature of the earth made me realize that nothing's important except this condo. We're all so significant.

We're all pleated pen. So important that we preserve this precious earth on which we live and also have somewhere to go two weeks of the year. That's right. Then we've got the YouTube drill press versus Will it bounce crossover episodes? Sure, right. I mean, look, this is just, this is important. It's just good fun. Yeah, it's just good old fun and this is, it's unironic. You know, it's, well, can you cut this drill press and heat it up? Like, can you, can this hot nickel ball be dropped into, you know, a tube sensor?

Yeah, what happens when that happens when you drop it on shooter Williams? Yeah, yeah. What is, Grumpy Cat, think of these neo-dynam magnets? That's right. I think that's really nice. I think we should, when we should get it down to one winner, I think at the end there'll be one. Oh right, we want each of the best things that got right. I think that's really nice. I think we should when we should get it down to one winner I think at the end there will be one right we won you to be You think it'll be that guy who's like hey guys. I'm just here with my Ferrari in this car. Oh short

I was gonna say tell backman. That's not right. I'll tie Lopez. Hi Lopez. He's some sort of Get out and do your thing guru. He's a just a real motivation guru. I know this guy Is he popular because he's so bad like is he something that's gone viral? I think he's because he's got a couple of Ferrari. Yeah, and he had a great book of dad that would open a bunch of you know He's that that would show up before thing or that or the Asian guy who's really ripped and eats whatever you want Honestly, I think a water cut is gonna defeat both I honestly think a water cutter is going to defeat those. He can hide in all the farrares he wants. That water cutter is still going to tear in the faces.

Ultimately, the water cutter will come for a result. Well, I guess that's the ultimate. In the end, the water cutter will just, the last thing I'll do is cut through the earth and then it will split open. Yeah, and then we'll both have. The halves will float in their opposite ways. I mean, out of orbit. People were worried about the large Hadron collider,

but I think that the water cutter, if that can like, cut through the fabric of reality and just, all just, you know, everything will just fold in on itself. Yeah, but in those moments before, you know, we sort of all fade away because of the cold and things like that. Or, like, think of the views that have taken that video.

I reckon it'll be Gangnam style. I don't mean the final survival. Well, yeah. Well, the idol come back from behind, you're right. We weren't expecting it. I was not expecting it. I was not expecting it. I think this is sort of related to that and also sort of related to real estate

But no, I don't think anyone's done this but you know like if you ever go on real estate websites and imagine you can buy a house some of the Places have got like a video that the real estate agent has been used to take you around and they introduce it and talk about it and stuff I think a parody one of those that turns into a horror film or something would be quite good. Oh yeah. Look, do you should I just write that down at the end here? Yeah.

parody real estate video, maybe? Oh, that's great. Like maybe they go to the drone shot and goes over the house. I just see someone in a cloak with a walker. We're holding a side, we're holding with a side like striding across the right I like that. You just piece it together. I think that sounds like a whole YouTube channel to me just different videos No, it's not now. No, I like that a lot. I can't be do you think that would be a S.K.S. video that is with the idea of the right answer and show up in houses

Anyway, this is the thing I think I had to sketch today that ants would would like to be the one that we didn't write down where we try and smear a gummy center all the way up. A seismograph. Because there would just be a film of sugar that they would be able to hunt. And then I don't know where you end up putting your seismograph after that. Probably a dusty cupboard, I think. Yeah, they like that. Yeah, yeah. And they get in there.

Yeah, and they fancy. They answer huge on those things. They're not huge. They're actually quite small. Um, so this is the possible hope. This is an ex-ge, a possible hope for a diagnosis that a person receives from a doctor that you might be a dream and an autistic boys imagination.

Or just a character in this, or is that a separate sketch? I think it's a separate thing that, that you might be a dream and an autistic boys imagination. Or just a character in this, or is that a separate sketch? I think that's a separate thing that, right. You're also a doctor that has to deal with each patient as a metaphor for healing in his own life. So emotional healing, so kind of like journey. I mean, they're both in a way connected, but I think you have this disease to help me realize that I can't save everybody.

But I think the tragedy, that's the reality. And I think they should also be separate because then it can be two separate medical shows and they can cross out. That's right. So it's really, and the doctor from one month up with a disease. Yeah. I think you're right that this is this is essentially a wonderful parody of like a house type show where where it can just be

episode after episode of just completely so disrespectful to people with somebody's like and now you have Lupus or now you have whatever and then it's just like oh yes and then he goes on his own journey to figure out what this could possibly mean. Yeah, but it's just part of my path to healing. Yeah, and each episode, the patient dies. It's like an episode of law and order, but in reverse where there's somebody dies, but at the end, and it's really sad, but not for the doctor who's had a revelation.

He's, he's racing the top of that. Yeah, I mean, it's nice. He's self-actualizing. Yeah, the end is always a cutback between the person fading away and the doctor Getting some huge Realizing he doesn't need his cane anymore. Yeah This could be big thing. He should be cutting sugar out of his diet Like some of it's just really mundane shit

Like some of it's just really mundane shit. Yeah, the end of it. It just dumps some sugar in there, just in the sink, isn't it? It walks away. I was gonna say he throws, at the end of every episode, he throws away a different cane. It's 3%. When Decess started, he's walking with four cams. He slowly realizes he needs one last sip.

At the end, it's just, I probably only need three K's. I guess at the end of the series it would make sense that either he has, he just has dementia. Or he gets disbarred because all these people have died due to his negligence. Or he has dementia in his eye. Then there's a second revelation that his whole dementia and series is also a character and it's not just the voice thing. Wow. Yeah.

I mean, and then that boy was dreamed up in some, yeah. And also, then it goes back and then you shows the old lady dropping a thing into the ocean. Right. Then we've got a guy who skips through life, protecting himself by making himself vital to the plot of the world that he's in. I think we, we, we, we, any conversation you're in, you've got to mention the fact that you've got a really important piece of information. Yeah, right? That I can't tell you right now. And I can't tell you in only one dying breath.

Because that would be, that would be way too easy. Too much to get out in a dying breath. Suffice to say. I have at least three paragraphs to tell you at that point. But I can't tell you right now. Three to four paragraphs. No, I couldn't write it in my own blood with one shaking hand. I don't have enough blood. No, not enough blood. That's it.

Then there's the last chain letter, which is an endangered species that we're trying to find and conservationists are trying to help. To what end? Who knows. To what end? Well, just, you know, like in the way that you try to keep all the languages alive. I guess that's true. You know, you know, like in the way that you try to keep old languages alive. I guess that's true, yeah. You know, surely some chain letters must have appeared in like the, not the the film and sound archive, but whatever the letter version of that is. Yes. You know, the, yeah.

That empty bin right at the end of the post, I'm assuming that nobody goes into, yeah, one or probably you would just call it an archive. Yeah. I mean, not a, not the bin. I mean, I or probably you would just call it an archive. Yeah. I mean, not the bin. I mean, I guess you could call it bin an archive. Yeah, you certainly would if you were like the funny guy in the office. Just throwing the old archive.

Yeah, you're a joke. Yes, swish, nothing but archive. Yeah, it is. And then we got parody real estate video that turns into a horror film, possibly a whole YouTube channel. Wow, troubling paradise you too. It's okay Andy just doesn't like me overstretching ideas by saying all the things that they could be. It's not enough to make one sketch. Yeah.

And the way of there is... That's an episode. I think you guys so much are listening to the Think Tank podcast, a part of the Planet Broadcasting Network. Yeah, that's right. That's fun. Check out at Planet B Casting. That's right. Check out at Planet B casting. That's the one. Yeah. And check out some of the other cool podcasts on the Broadcasting Network.

And none of which I can think of right now. Oh, what? The weekly planet. No, don't you get that small. No, please. Check out Doogalon. Wait, wait, wait. Another Super Doll Studios.

We got to help out some of the small projects. Thank you. Oh, yeah. So weekly planet is kind of just a podcast where two guys talk about their favorite topic. Look, it's two men in their, it's two white middle class men in their 30s discussing pop culture. We've got opinions about it. You're made of a laver.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's great. And it's very funny and it goes for an hour and a half. Something like that, yeah. And I really enjoy it. Please listen to them and instead of listening to us. Yes. It would be honest, if you only have room for one podcast in your life, it's probably better that it's a successful one.

Yeah. It's never going away. It's never, ever going away. Absolutely. Do you think you'll do it forever? Yeah. Yeah, that's good. Yeah.

I was wondering what happens if comic book movies die? Oh, the bubble burst. It's a bubble burst because it does feel like it's a bubble. Do you ever feel like it's a bubble? It definitely feels like a bubble. Yeah, I think, look, I think we'll probably, like, we'll talk about blockbusters. We'll talk about a blockbuster.

There's always going to be blockbusters. What do you think the indie market's going to take over? How dare you? I don't think so. I don't think so. No, and plus, there'll always be things that come from fiction. That's very true. I'm wondering if fiction is just a phase. Imagine that. Imagine if every movie becomes just a biopic. Yeah, a biopic on Richard Branson.

That could be the future of it. Yeah, wow. I mean, but if anything was going to be like, like in the world of biopics, the one of Richard Branson is the one that is the closest to being a comic book movie. That's very true. So I feel like you could probably still build the spaceship. This is true, yeah. He's got great hair. He's always hanged on a lighting and got quite surfing.

Yeah, he lives on islands. Yeah, it's true. Do you think that if they did a biopic of Richard Branson, you would talk about it on the podcast? Yes, great. Well, that's good then. It's great. I think there is a future in that podcast.

I like the thing. Even if it's dystopian future where it's just Richard Branson biopic. Yes, it re-boosts. It turns out they're rebooting the Richard Branson biopic again. Yeah, but then what would happen is because with superhero movies, they're so all encompassing now that now there's superhero spy movies and there's superhero rom-coms. They become Richard Branson biopic rom-coms and Richard Branson biopic spy films and so on and so forth.

So it would be a big ol' umbrella. Absolutely. It would be all the prequels and the type of stuff. That's right. It's just a guy with a renting a plane. That's right. He is a, he sure is a guy who has made himself essential to the plot though. Like if anyone in the world was worried that it was all a TV show and that their character wasn't like central enough to things or interesting enough to get renewed, it's, he's Branson.

He locked it in when he went water skiing with Obama. It's so true. Or whatever it in when he went water skiing with Obama. It's so true. Or whatever it was. Maybe hang gliding. No, hang gliding. What's the hang gliding on water? With the big, kite surfing.

Kite surfing, that's the one. It's sort of like lean gliding. Mm, yeah. Anyway, good times guys. And so. It's one of the way I listen to the Wiggly Planet. It's all about Richard Branson biopics. Yeah.

It's like, it's more like an extreme version of being a T-bag. You know, like Richard Branson is? It's kind of surfing. Okay, yeah. Yeah. If you want to know what it's like to be an extreme T-bag, go kind surfing. Anyway, sorry, we're talking about your podcast. Now I'm done talking about my podcast.

It's fine. Listen to do go on, listen to it. Go for casuals. This is casuals. Auntie Don't have a podcast. Auntie Donna, human ordinary. Yeah, it's a great one. What's the issue one serious issues serious issues listen to that one how many podcasts the Joshua one don't you know why I'm back this week back

this week guys dick we are dick we are isn't I don't know if they use the acronym but they should. It's quite satisfying. Like our acronym is a long tit. Long tit. So, hashtag long tit. Please, guys. T-I-T-T-T. Now, now these sketches that we've discussed, are they all public domain? Can people, can people. Well, somebody wrote to us the other day about that. Yeah, I'm asking if they could, if they could make something with it.

Yeah. I'm totally fine with that. Look, we are okay. If we can get some kind of like preference credit, something in there. We can just be remembered after we're gone. To me, all we ask is that you light a candle every sort of June the 17th. Which is two and the thing 10 days. Remember, I'll do it. Long day.

Yeah, everybody out there, if you want to jump on one of those sketches, you know what you should do, if you're listening this, if you've come over because of the weekly planet, you know if I can listen to all the other episodes, because they're really great. As I said, I was moving house the other day and you guys kept me sane, listening to many, many episodes in a row while lifting boxes, it was great. Thank you very much, Nick. And I feel like you've kept me sane and grounded during this episode. Oh, that's great. I appreciate it. I'm sorry we talked over you a lot at the start. Now that's okay.

And I'm sorry that I'm going to talk over you in the future. That's unacceptable. That's unacceptable. No, no. That was just today. It's never happening again. I will not stand for it. Yeah.

Are you on Twitter? I'm on Twitter at Wikipedia Brown. Andy. Andy. And I am at Stupid Old Andy. And I'm at Alistair T.B. and the podcast is at Two in Tank. I was told recently that a seven year old

thinks my Twitter handle is really funny. So, it's not wrong. Yeah. Finally, somebody. And if you're a seven year old, tell me what you think about my Twitter handle. Would love to hear it. And I'd also like to thank my brother George,

who's been doing the audio mixing on these podcasts. Yeah, not us. If you've noticed that the quality is increased recently, it is thanks to that man. Thank you very much. He's been in the room. He's not allowed to speak. That's right.

He's here this whole time. He's moving and I don't like it. Guys, thank you very much. Thank you guys. Nick, thank you very much. You know what? Oh, Nick, thank you so much. Thank you, Nick. My pleasure. Thanks, man.

You're the greatest. And we love you. Oh, thanks, guys. This podcast is part of the Planet Broadcasting Network. Visit planetbcasting.com for more podcasts from our great mates. I mean, if you want, it's up to you. At NOVAVAX, we want to make sure you have all the facts. And the fact is, there are different types of COVID-19 vaccines available.

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