Simple Swedish Podcast - 78 - "VIN DIESEL IS A CAR" - with STEPH BROTCHIE

Episode Date: May 9, 2017

Tank you very much to Steph Brotchie for guesting this week, check out her instagram @thescruffian and twitter works @dbl_present Queen of the Pores, Egg in Your Hair, V.I.N, I'm Trams, Funny and D...ie, Straight up Sad Two in the Think Tank is a part of the Planet Broadcasting family  You can find us on twitter at @twointank Andy Matthews: @stupidoldandy Alasdair Tremblay-Birchall: @alasdairtb And you can find us on the Facebook right here Thank you to George Matthews for production work!     Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Starting point is 00:00:43 from our great mates. Oh, and I'm turning around, oh, and I'm turning around, oh, and I'm turning around, oh, and I'm turning around, oh, and I'm turning around, oh, and I'm turning around, oh, and I'm turning around, oh, and I'm turning around, oh, and I'm turning around, oh, and I'm turning around, oh, and I'm turning around, oh, and I'm turning around, oh, and I'm turning around, oh, and I'm turning around, oh, and I'm turning around, oh, and I'm turning around, oh, and I'm turning around, oh, and I'm turning around, oh, and I'm turning around, oh, and I'm turning around, oh, and I'm turning around, oh, and I'm turning around, oh, and I'm turning around, oh, and I'm turning around, oh, and I'm turning around, oh, and I'm turning around, oh, and I'm turning around, oh, and I'm turning around, oh, and I'm turning around, oh, and I'm turning around, oh, and I'm turning around, oh, and I'm turning around, oh, and I'm turning around, oh, and I'm turning around, oh, and I'm turning around, oh, and I'm turning around, oh, and I'm turning around, oh, and I'm turning around, oh, and I'm turning around, oh, and I'm turning around, oh, and I'm turning around, oh, and I'm turning around, oh, and I'm turning around, oh, and I'm turning around, oh, and I'm turning around, oh, and I'm turning around, oh, and I'm turning around, oh, and I'm turning around, oh, and I'm turning around, oh, and I'm turning around, oh, and I'm turning around, oh, and I'm turning around, oh, and I'm turning around, oh, and I'm turning around, oh, and I'm turning around, oh, and I you wouldn't. Welcome to Tune the Think Tank. Yeah, the show where we try and come up with five sketch ideas. I'm Andy. And I am Alice to George William, Tromley, Bertual, and we have ourselves a guest show person here today. Stephanie Brachi. Hi guys. Hello, welcome to the tank. Thank you so much. Like your head gear. Thank you. You're referring to the headphones we provided her with. Thank you, Alice. Oh, I like that.
Starting point is 00:01:52 I think it's nice. You know, you can give a gift to somebody and it is a gift to the landing of those. And then compliment them on the great gift. Well, if you can't think of anything nice to say, don't say anything at all. Yes, until you've given them something nice, and then you can compliment that. Then you can say it. Then you just say, hey, not here, put this on. I love your scarf.
Starting point is 00:02:12 And then you've had a pleasant interaction. That's just politeness, isn't it? It is, it is. Absolutely. So it's a sketch. Yeah. Doesn't have anything nice to say. But.
Starting point is 00:02:24 And then he gives them a gift. No, I didn't know where that was going. And then you were head, you know, you had this go and then he doesn't give him a compliment. I just do something nice. If you don't have anything nice to say, do something. I guess that's kind of just normal. that's not really comedy. Just human- That's a decent- Yeah, that's good too, people need to know about that. I think that that is something that I think I don't know if that's a fully formed enough idea for a sketch, but the idea of how to be nice to people as like a series of how- to people, right?
Starting point is 00:03:05 As like a series of how-tos, right? Like how to be nice to people, maybe in difficult situations, how to be nice to people you hate, how to be nice to people you've just met. Okay, like how to be nice to people when they have various types of food on them. Because, let's say somebody has, if they have, like, sort of, egg in their
Starting point is 00:03:28 hair or sort of sour cream behind their ear, things like that, you're gonna have to be nice to them in different ways. I don't know, some of them, some of the niceness might involve just sort of incognito removing the food. I don't know if that's nice. Is that permitted? It's being nice, just the opposite of being really horrible. So you just take the most horrible thing. You could do in that situation and invert it. OK, so the most horrible thing you could do in that situation is release a hungry rat or atomic, an atomic weapon.
Starting point is 00:04:02 Or atomic weapons. OK, you're right. That is worse. OK. That is pretty bad, actually. Oh, atomic weapons. Okay, you're right, that is worse. Okay. That is pretty bad actually. Oh, wow, you really escalated. But then it always sounds like it could get worse if you released a hungry rat than put an atomic weapon. That's true.
Starting point is 00:04:16 On them. Or even vice versa, like the atomic weapon and then hungry rat is still another bad thing. So it's still technically worse. So, and then we go from that point to what's less bad than that, well, the end of the atomic weapon. No, no, no, no, we're trying to find the nice act and the theory was you do the inverse
Starting point is 00:04:38 of whatever the most horrible thing you could do. Right, take away an atomic weapon. Well, yeah. Sign a nuclear disarmament pack. Yeah, now we're talking. And, and free them from some kind of. Vermin. Vermin.
Starting point is 00:04:53 We the vermin. And don't mention the egg. Yeah. Just don't mention it. That's really nice. Oh, that's the real icing on the cake there. That's a thing. Well, it's really, well, I guess what's nice though, I guess what's nice is that when
Starting point is 00:05:06 you released the atomic bomb and then a hungry rat onto them, you still didn't mention the egg in their hair or the, sort of, the sour comment behind their ear. And so in that way, you were being pretty polite. I want to know if it's like, if it's the same person who's got the egg in there and the sour cream behind the ear, because those are two things that really you don't, like they don't encounter each other in meals, right? Because the sour cream I'm picturing Mexican,
Starting point is 00:05:37 and there's no egg in Mexican cuisine, and I will not be proven to be wrong. I'm about to really strong stand. I put myself out there. Yeah, I know. All right, artistically and personally, and I, you know, I'd like you to respect the vulnerable position I put myself in. I think it keeps talking.
Starting point is 00:05:56 We probably can't argue with them. That's true. Yeah. I mean, is there a good? No, there is no. No, there's no egg in tortilla. No. No. I guess if somebody had a tortilla in their hair anyway No, there's no egg in your hair. No? No.
Starting point is 00:06:06 I guess if somebody had a tortilla in their hair anyway, you wouldn't say, well, you've got egg in your hair and flour and water and, you know, some impurities. I don't know, sulfur or something. Well, if you wanted to break it to them gently, that they had a full cake in their hair. You could start with the egg. You say, they had a full cake in their hair. You can start with the egg. You say, you've got some egg in your hair. You know, you ease it in. Would that be the easiest thing to go in?
Starting point is 00:06:33 Like, wouldn't you say you've got a glassy cherry in your hair, assuming it's a black forest cake? Of course. It's a safer assumption. I think, it depends on what's the best way to do this. Like is it like a band-out and you pull it all off at once? Or is it like, are you breaking it to them gently by revealing it bit by bit, or do you just tell them?
Starting point is 00:06:56 Or if they've got eggs, I just add the other ingredients of cake. Because they're gonna have to bake in their hair, which is definitely better than egg. Absolutely. Yeah, if somebody said you've got a slice of sort of triple chocolate. Okay.
Starting point is 00:07:11 You see someone with egg in their hair, right? The way you break it to the mids, you say, would you like some cake? If they say yes, you add the other ingredients into their hair, whip it around. It probably have to be one of those bake-free ones. Yeah, I don't know. A bake-free cake?
Starting point is 00:07:28 Oh, you just put it in the oven, it sets. I have the fridge. Fridge. I'm in fridge, I said oven, I'm in fridge. Oh, look, that makes sense. I said the opposite, because that's a compliment. Who's a compliment? It's sort of on theme.
Starting point is 00:07:39 Yeah. Absolutely, yeah. Okay, I think this is a sketch. So it's a person who has egg in their hair. Yeah. Okay. And it's and it's so embarrassing. Right. So all that do all their friends keep So they're out at dinner. Maybe it's an important thing. Or you know, it's it could be a work lunch or something like that. Somebody's got egg in their hair. And then everyone else keeps having to leave the
Starting point is 00:08:04 table to discuss what they're gonna do about it. Right, and they keep coming up with different theories and approaches, right, about maybe releasing a mouse or adding other ingredients to it. Yeah. Putting a chicken on just so it's got like context. Exactly. Because if it's like, if you get shot on by a bird, good luck. Yeah, it's good luck. So I guess, imagine if it's like, if it's if you get shot on by a bird.
Starting point is 00:08:25 Good luck. Yeah, it's good luck. So I guess imagine if it's like, it's out the same hole. Right, clover bloody clover. Clowaca. It's a recurring theme on this podcast. I mean, I think it's a very important organ.
Starting point is 00:08:37 It's crucial. Really, I mean, as far as holds go, the chickens put all their eggs in one basket with that clover. Clowaca. Okay. And like, we don. No, no, no, this will be fun. We don't need more than one. Yeah, and I think, I think, if anyone knows about the risks of putting too many eggs in one small area, it should be the chicken.
Starting point is 00:08:57 Yeah. And I think humans have one hole that is more of a comedy whole than the others and so I Think the mouth. It's the male Jokes come out of the mouth and any other artist. Oh, yeah, I was gonna say the butthole It's more of a it's more of a the year already thought that I don't I don't get when people are messing anyway And which which is the butthole of the... Yes.
Starting point is 00:09:27 The butthole is the butthole of the butth. Anyway. If the butth had a butthole. Yeah. I would say the butthole. Yeah. Yeah. Ah, that's fair.
Starting point is 00:09:38 Either that or one of the pores. Well, all the pores on your ass must just be in awe of the butthole. It must be the king of the butt-pours. I think they have a look-sive as I'm saying there is something not right with Gary. I think they strive. I think they look at it and they go like that. It's the light on the hill except it's in a valley. I wonder if the one-hole starts as a dwarf.
Starting point is 00:10:04 And it's dark. It starts as a port and it's like the queen in a valley. I wonder if the bun will start to snore. It starts to support and it's like the queen in They feed it royal jelly And so if the butthole dies one of the other butt pours It's selected by the other By the worker pores Poor guys. Yeah, poor. Poor poor guys. Oh, God. Okay, so that's a sketch.
Starting point is 00:10:32 Right? I think a sketch in which the A, is this better say, maybe a doctor or a medical theorist describes the process in which a butthole is formed, is chosen by the collective, the swarm, and is elevated to the peak position. Have you written anything else down this episode? No, nothing yet. Okay. No, I think egg in your hair, break it to them gently, brainstorming at an important function is a thing.
Starting point is 00:11:16 And was there anything about chickens? Oh, chickens put in all their eggs in one basket by the side. That's sort of one line that right now that you could use for your stand up. I guess you haven't been writing a lot of that stuff recently. No, a lot. But could this be the thing that kind of kicks out a bit? There could be my big comeback. Yeah. It's all right. Do we just take a note of it?
Starting point is 00:11:39 Yeah, sure. Sure. There you go. All their eggs in one outlet. Okay, I'm sorry to do this to you guys, but the expression don't put all your eggs in one basket. So what are you doing? You're putting all the eggs in a basket and then you're keeping one egg just loose. What do you think? You think they're saying, so to suggest that you should only keep one to the side. Open your guess, I mean, you're still adhering to the saying, even if you have 11 eggs in a basket, you just keep one in your pocket. But it implies that all you've got is eggs also.
Starting point is 00:12:15 Yes. You could put all your eggs in one basket, we just have other assets, and you probably still be fine. Right. So even just by having only eggs, you've already, in a sense, put all your eggs in one basket. And that's so heavily in eggs. That basket is eggs.
Starting point is 00:12:31 Yeah, you should look, there's other, get some blue chip in sort of investments, maybe. Don't put all your eggs in one egg. Don't. In one egg, eggs. You got eggs in your hair. I mean, you have a cake in your hair. I've got a basket full of cake Yeah, I don't like to think of it as a basket full of eggs
Starting point is 00:12:50 I like to think of it as a basket full of potential cake Futures Cake futures. Yeah, I've invested heavily in cake futures. I've got a basket full of eggs Help me. I feel like there's some strong analogy in there for something smarter than me. Oh, something smarter than you, like an AR? Pretty much anything at this point. It's like a...
Starting point is 00:13:17 When we do have two... Two use. Does everybody hear that crackle on the other side? Yeah, but it's okay. I don't think you're peaking. No, you're all good. Oh, right. When we have a super intelligent AI that's smarter than any human being alive, it's going to be right on things like that.
Starting point is 00:13:33 When there's an analogy, it's something you say. You'll be like, I'm trying to say something. You're talking about the Patagonian fish crisis. No, it's 72. Soon, that'll be great though. about the Patagonian fish crisis. Exactly. Not at 72. Soon, that'll be great though, to have an AI that can just pick up where you can't take the conversation any further. And so you go, I got this idea for an analogy.
Starting point is 00:13:54 I think because I think we're good at coming up with ideas. Four ideas. Yeah, ideas five. I've got an idea for an analogy. He's about baskets, an eggs, and cake futures. You've got the story part, I just don't know what it's a parallel to. If you could just get some AI to just do the real legwork and just figure it out for you. Now this is silly, but I reckon this could be done with fast Fourier transforms.
Starting point is 00:14:24 And cross-correlation algorithms, because when you're trying to compare two data sets, I cast a fast, the fastest, the fastest, the fastest, the fastest, the fastest algorithm. It's quite a few of those, aren't there? There's definitely a few at the moment, I think there's fate. That's, I mean, look, the fast Fourier transforms, where you describe a set of data as a collection of waveforms. Now, if that can in some way be applied to the fast and the furious franchise, I'll be
Starting point is 00:15:00 very pleased. And a super intelligent AI could definitely find out. Fast Fourier transforms. Like, it's a real right turn for these guys. The fast and the furious. The fast and the furious. Which is where what we do is we analyze all the previous fast and the furious. I keep thinking he's saying, I don't know what I'm saying anymore.
Starting point is 00:15:23 I want to move on. So we don't want to do any puns based on complex mathematics and the best and the furious. Okay. No. We sure. Okay. Last chance.
Starting point is 00:15:37 Going. It's gone. Going. I don't want it. All right. So this is what it is. No. All right. You're bailing? Yeah. I'm bailing. It's funny that Vin Diesel, it's called Vin Diesel,
Starting point is 00:15:49 and all the cars are petrol-based, probably running on a premium high octane field. The diesel is more of a slow-burning, but pressure ignition than you would get, you know This is way to go do you kid Vin? Vin? Like the number on a car Yeah, the Vin number How did he get two car-related names? Man And then be the lead in an eight-part car movie franchise
Starting point is 00:16:19 What are the chances? That is the secret in action Or the world's laziest casting director. Oh, that's true. I just regugling car people. I guess they probably thought maybe we should get somebody who likes cars. Yeah. Or if we can't do that, who is like a car, who is a powerful car who is a powerful bald like a car and then just has car names for those voices kind of car like a gravely and yeah. I mean if they reveal in the if they do a ninth and they reveal oh maybe in the tenth episode They can reveal that Vin Diesel's been a car the whole time. I think that would be a real pay-off
Starting point is 00:17:11 That would really give you a reason to go back and watch And look for all the The mobile little place. Yeah, because when it drives a car, which isn't actually a thing the cars do So I mean it's it's in a way it's a great way to throw you off the seat as well like if you were a car a great way to trick people into thinking you were a car would be by driving cars that is good he's a quite a clever car well a lot of cars modern cars have got computers in them now so and well that makes them smarter. Okay, so he's a quite a modern car.
Starting point is 00:17:49 Yeah, he's a modern car. He's one of the ones that your dad tells you will be really difficult to repair yourself. Oh yeah. And you go, good. I didn't want to anyone. I think I would have had no idea how to repair the old one. Yes, this is really raised that lower the chances of me repairing this car myself. But it was, it's also strange that he would go through such a, like, such a difficult process of
Starting point is 00:18:10 masking the idea that he's a car by driving cars, but then would call himself a vehicle. Well, they always make a mistake. It's always a clue. There's always some subtle tell, tell, give away. Actually, I mean, you know, in Isaac Asimov's foundation series, there was a character who was a robot, right, who called himself Humman, which was supposed to be sort of like human, but that's the opposite of Indiesel, so that doesn't work. But in a buddy, robots would make a humming sound That's what it was yeah, you know like your heart that would be the will the difficulty with a robot is that if you listen to its heart It would just be a pump. So it would just be like a constant
Starting point is 00:18:57 Where's with us? It's a You know the heart sound yeah, you've got to listen to your heart, listen to the Ziggy Marley. Anyway, that song is Ziggy Mali. I think we did the beginning of Arthur, you know, Arthur? Yeah. It's a smile, a smile, a smile, and it comes from the heart. But it becomes so, is that some place to start?
Starting point is 00:19:25 You can't remember all the words. And I say, hey, what a wonderful, yeah, we do. Yeah, and I think I remember all the words to the name of the guy who wrote this and performed this song. And what do they? Ziggy Marley. Oh. So you brought that back around?
Starting point is 00:19:41 Yeah, wait, okay. Is Vin Diesel was a car? That's it. We bought that back around. Yeah, wait, okay. Is Vin Diesel was a car? A sketch? I don't know enough about Vin Diesel cars to make a call on that. I think the comedy is the better. Yeah. This show is all about not needing to know that much. Yeah, that's great.
Starting point is 00:20:00 I think yes, Alistair. I think reveal. I mean, I think that we could we could write a spec script send it to the people because I mean like who knows how many how many more there are in this in this series series. Yeah, eight. There was a all I saw was the preview, but there's a there's a submarine coming out of ice. Yeah, they've run into places to go. Yeah, he played the submarine. I Then we have to find the name of somebody His underwater. Yeah, like Barry undertone Barry undertone is really good. Yeah, yeah. Well, thank you. It was me just taking the name of Barry Manalo. If it was Barry Manalo. Barry Manatee.
Starting point is 00:20:55 Barry Manatee. Barry Manatee. Barry Manatee. Barry Manatee. Barry Manatee. Barry Manatee. Yeah. Alright.
Starting point is 00:21:03 Vin Diesel is a car. Vin Diesel is a car. Alright. Vin Diesel is a car. Vin Diesel is a car, Vin Diesel is a car. All right, if you're listening and you can think of a person who's got a name that sounds like they're a submarine trying to trick people into thinking they're not a submarine. Send it in, please. But nevertheless, giving away the fact that they are a submarine in their name choice, please. Somebody call them. Boop.
Starting point is 00:21:24 Yeah, you know, they's the way it's going. So, somebody just make a boop sound that was really good. I think it was you out. Oh, it was really high. At least my brain just made the... Was that... Oh, that wasn't good. Um, is this good?
Starting point is 00:21:44 That's quite good. Is that good? Yeah, but then you've got to get the echo in there as well. Do you think that's someone's job on the actual server? Yeah. We're walking around. I really wish he'd stop there. It's very disappointing. I didn't think that someone's job on the actual submarine. Yeah. Walking around. Boom.
Starting point is 00:22:07 I really wish he'd stop that. It's very distracting. It almost sounds like a kind of joke on a Zucker Brothers movie. Like an airplane or something. Or it would be like a police academy, like the guy who does all the sounds. Police Academy didn't go on a submarine. It feels like there's one more movie in this series and the series of 20 movies and whatever they did.
Starting point is 00:22:33 Down Periscope. That was a comedy movie set in the submarine. Yeah, that yeah. So Kelsey Grammer. Yep. Is Kelsey Grammer played by a school? In that movie I think actually he is. He's a school.
Starting point is 00:22:54 He's a school. And in, yeah, the kids underwater. You guys underwater, yes? Yeah. And that's why he's got such a big forehead. For forehead. For forehead? For forehead.
Starting point is 00:23:09 For forehead. For forehead. For forehead. For forehead. Oh dear. Oh, God. Vin Diesel is a car. Fast and the Furious.
Starting point is 00:23:20 Yeah, I think like, you know, it could be the people, the riders of the the first and the furious talking about the final episode. It could be the producers of the fight of the first and the furious. Furious. Furious. Call. You know, okay, they're got a new director on for the final episode. The producers are calling in the director to explain to the director that Vin Diesel is actually a car.
Starting point is 00:23:47 And he has been the whole time, and that was the... But no, no, but maybe they still don't want to reveal it. Maybe they're worried that it'll affect his career or the, you know, it's certainly, it takes, like, all the movies do take on a sort of a weird, sort of sexual undertones. Why don't you realize that he's a car getting inside other cars, and that it could damage the franchise.
Starting point is 00:24:09 So it's really important that nobody knows. Okay, wait. So, is Vind, are we saying that, like, is the producer saying to the director or the executive producer, the whole series of girls? Yeah, it does. I need to talk to you. Tell me me here. You're gonna want to sit down.
Starting point is 00:24:27 All right. I've been meaning to tell you this maybe for Fast and Furious movie to go. Time is definitely measured in the last and periods Vin Diesel is a car What Vin Diesel is a fucking car Vin Diesel is a car. He's been a car the whole time. He's always been a car You've never known him when he's been a car the whole time, he's always been a car, you've never known him when he was in a car. What are we going to do about it? What that, maybe it could be like those, you know, the AFL have campaigns about like gay people coming out in the AFL, holding up signs, maybe it's a campaign like that to support
Starting point is 00:25:21 people who are actually not people. So Liberty is coming out, who are actually cars. Okay, this works very well and it's funny. B, is this saying something that we don't want to say? What, that Vin Diesel is in a car? Hold on. I don't want to say that. If we don't want to make that statement, then maybe we shouldn't do that again. But I think it's also good for other people who want to come out as other things because there's probably sort of cyborgs and aliens and maybe even people who are other modes of transport who have been meaning to come out for more time and trends. Trains. Trains. Trams. Trams. Trams.
Starting point is 00:26:06 Trams. Submarines. Yes. Um. I'm Trams. What? I'm. I'm.
Starting point is 00:26:14 I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm.
Starting point is 00:26:22 I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I mean before we go into the details of this you mean more than one tram? Trams people. It's really good. Oh yeah I mean I was the one calling you I don't- I'm not simply saying something we don't want to say and this I mean I don't know what it's saying but I don't want to say. And this, I mean, I don't know what it's saying, but I don't know what anything it is saying is what we want to say. I think this is what we need actually super intelligence for.
Starting point is 00:26:52 Right? We need a super intelligent robot that can tell us if we're saying something that is problematic. Terrier fence. Right. This is whether we're on the algorithms to work out, like, is this raw? In the end, what you really wanted to tell you is, is this going to hurt me in some way? Right? No, I think it tell you is Is this gonna hurt me in someone? I think it's is gonna hurt others
Starting point is 00:27:12 Somehow impact on my career. Yeah, so the ricochet will hurt ricochet back in my direction. Yeah, yeah, that's true No, that is very important. I think for it like you know, okay, now you're right. I apologize. Now I think you need to be apologizing out. Sorry everybody. No, no, no, I'm not look I still think it's a good idea because What to come out as Trams come out of trams because Because I think that More on a more unacceptable, more things need to be, oh my God, I have no place to go with it, need the AI.
Starting point is 00:27:50 All right. All right, should I write this down? Yeah, okay, yes, you should. Coming. I mean, it's close to the dumbest thing that we've ever said. Thank you. This is good.
Starting point is 00:28:03 It's close to the dumbest thing that we've ever said. Thank you! This is the thing! I mean, physically close to the dumbest thing we've ever said, which is the Vin Diesel or the Car. I reckon the answer would like that trans bit. Because there's a lot of people who drop a lot of food on the trans. Well, but also like from an ants point of view, we're all trans because they, you know, very often will climb on us and use us as a form of transport
Starting point is 00:28:33 to get to somewhere else. Here's my problem with ants, right? Right. Okay, you know like they get, if ants aren't gonna like this. Yeah, well, we'll see. You're making some very powerful edits. To be honest, I'm not individually, but as a group. That's a group. And this is where I honest. Not individually, but as a group.
Starting point is 00:28:45 As a group. And this is where I'm actually a lot of my problems arise. Is that if you're sort of standing near an ants nest and they kind of crawl on your body and things like you see them like on your shoes and you're like, ah, and they've kind of been crawling up your legs and stuff. And at some point, they signal each other somehow to all bite you. That's the same. All at the same time.
Starting point is 00:29:04 Yeah, well, I don't know if they'd all do it at the same time, but they start biting. That's the same time. Yeah well I don't know if they'd all do it at the same time but they start baiting. I reckon they sent something, I reckon they've got some kind of a fair moan thing that like if one's distress they'll release a scent that tells the other ends bite. Bite. The ground, bite the ground. Oh yeah. Which is... The ground is alive. I've just realised that we're all on a, the earth is a living creature.
Starting point is 00:29:31 We're all on a gaiya. We are all part of a super organism. We just exist on the surface of a living breathing planet and we should attack it. The hills have eyes and arms and legs and toes and some kind of ass pulls And one that rules them all very similar to our system actually You think I This is the one ring that rules the ball I don't want to laugh at that Imagine that imagine if there were different types of like yes, but but holes I don't want to lie for that. I didn't know. Yeah, I do.
Starting point is 00:30:05 But imagine that. Imagine if there were different types of spot buttholes. Okay. So there's one that kind of follows the word. There's one for the elves, and there's one for the dwarves. No, but this is slightly different. But if there are one for the elves and one for the dwarves, that is also good.
Starting point is 00:30:21 Thank you. And the men got three or something. Yeah. Anyway. The other two we squandered. If there was the if there's the bees the bees sort of model one, which is the you know the one is Fred is Fred royal jelly. But then what if there's one that's kind of more like the ant colony. And so but then there's one but hole that has a sort of big sort of pouch in it a bit like I guess a huge anal sac and then and then outcome small little pores out of it like that and it's the source of all the butt pores like that and they all but this is this is this on every person's body or is this like
Starting point is 00:31:00 there's one of those in the world? Like loose. Oh, there's more than one. I don't know. There's different species of each one. Look, Andy, I don't know. I was just picturing within the world in which they're a fuck it. Forget it. No, no, no, no. I want to go into this butthole world with you. But okay, let's go to my butthole world. No, I want to go into this butthole world with you. Let's go to my butthole world.
Starting point is 00:31:26 I guess in many ways there are ants that live in a hole. Yes. There's a butthole that lives on ants. There's a hole that lives on ants. No, this is... I guess I was just picturing it. I have to focus now because I have to make something of this. I guess I was just picturing it like so Al's eyes are closed I have to focus now because I have to make something of this
Starting point is 00:31:49 Which Sherlock goes to his mind palace Yeah, that's Alistair right now I'm in the butthole universe Okay, I'm going to my butthole place Okay, I'm there Okay, so Okay, in the one corner there's the bee there's the bee butthole in all the pores and then one pore's fed royal jelly and it's turned into a bigger pore, a pore
Starting point is 00:32:11 that rules all the other pores, right? Yep. And then another man over here, or woman, there's a pore, that there was initially only one pore, right? And, but it had a big pouch on it. And it was the mother. It was the mother of all the poor. And it slowly started pushing other little pores out, little maggot pores, like that. And they crawled over the butt, and they all, and then they just installed themselves in different parts of the butt. And then somewhere else then somewhere else is just a sort of mammalian, there's another man or woman with a butt
Starting point is 00:32:53 poor, but it follows more of a mammalian style where it gives birth to a litter of pores, right? And it's a big mama butthole poor, and it gives birth to three litter of pores, right? And it's a big mama butthole pore. And it gives birth to three. And then they all become buttholes. And then they give birth to pores. But then, then they die and then they go back to the earth. Okay, I tried to make something over here.
Starting point is 00:33:19 Yeah, and we didn't help you at all. And I'm worried about that. No, I went to my place. Yeah. And that's my place. Yeah. And that's everything that was there. It's a fascinating tour of the inside of your brain. A brain full. This episode is brought to you by Progressive.
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Starting point is 00:33:58 Progressive casualty and trans company and affiliates, National Average 12 Month Savings of $744 by New Customer Surveyed, who saved with progressive between June 2022 and May 2023 potential savings will vary discounts Not available in all safe and situations The biggest problem like conceptually for me with trying to get understand what you were saying is that like essentially you're talking about a hole Producing other smaller holes. Yeah, and the idea of a hole which producing other smaller holes. And the idea of a hole, which is essentially nothing, producing baby nothings, is like almost beyond
Starting point is 00:34:32 the human ability to comprehend. So it's not that you weren't expressing yourself well, that was there. I think you were entering the field of the sublime. I think it would have to be done with claymation. Right. That's how I think it would have to be done. And but then the thing you said about a hole sort of being nothing, I think it would have to be done with claymation. Right. That's how I think it would have to be done. But then the thing you said about a whole sort of being nothing, I think in this case,
Starting point is 00:34:51 a hole is very much its limits. Right. And so the edges are where this hole lives. And so I guess with a but hole is kind of more of a ribby edge. You went there. She should go see a doctor. I guess with a butthole is kind of more of a rib, or a ribby edge. You went there. Oh. She should go see a doctor out. You see how it's so just weeping.
Starting point is 00:35:10 It's sort of, you know, purple and swollen. And flashes different colors. You know, like a normal butthole. You know, twizzing in the back of the matthole. Convulsing constantly. Why are we talking so much about by holes? I want to. I felt like you guys wanted me to explain.
Starting point is 00:35:30 And then I, like, I said, I said, before, remember when I went, no, this is a dead end. Let's not go, he go, no, no, no. Let's go deep into this. And so, you're a band, and you want to call the sack. I'm sorry, yeah. That's okay. What else is good? Let's go deep into this. We abandoned you and Nicole the sack. Sorry, yeah. That's okay. What else is good?
Starting point is 00:35:49 Yeah. Con de sec. Con de sec. It's actually fun that you should bring that up because... It's French meaning ass. Really? And sack is the sack in which the maggot asses And Anyway, this is why I don't do a podcast by myself
Starting point is 00:36:16 But but if there are any acclaimation people who want to collaborate with me on this but whole thing in which we we add a melee it Yeah, he's done much lately I heard he's around I heard he gives talks you're around giving talks I think he said no like that's not your gig oh he said no to like a to it like a big Disney film well maybe he's looking for something looking for more experimental something more experimental if you want to talk about different reproductive systems of animals and you know, what if they were about holes? What if they were about holes? Then... Cholal.
Starting point is 00:36:53 Cholal. Disney. That's it if we didn't have vision. Do you think you could see with your nose? Well, okay, well, I mean there's, there's, there's, um, the Marvel TV series Daredevil, right? Which is always a comic book in which he, Steph is just rubbing her nose. Just thinking. Possibly just trying, she still has her eyes open, so she's not totally giving up on. I don't want to enter it, Alice. I close my eyes.
Starting point is 00:37:27 Never know where you're going to end up. It's a dangerous territory. I had to close my eyes and ever to get there. Yeah, exactly. It's not a worry about it. I'm never closing my eyes again. I think it could be made to you. Especially if you find yourself an Alice butthouse
Starting point is 00:37:43 and now all you have is a nose to navigate with Okay, because because dead devil he can navigate with his his hearing right and he is so far in the episodes I watch his never referenced that he uses his sense of smell, right? Yeah. But, but if he also lost his hearing, and he was just very good at sniffing, well, the two nostrils suggest that you could have directional smell.
Starting point is 00:38:17 And depth perception. Oh, that's good. We talked about this on the podcast before. It feels like something from the, if we have it's over 50 episodes ago, they're for it's fine. It's talked about this on the podcast before? It feels like something from the... If we have, it's over 50 episodes ago. It's fine. It's back into circulation. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:38:29 So it's a daredevil of the nose. Yes. And then, okay, so you can smell how far away smells it. So he lost a sense of sight and sound, a hearing. Yes. And... And... Touch.
Starting point is 00:38:44 Touch. And kiss. Okay. So, and touch. And he lost his arms in life, so he can't feel his way around. And he doesn't have any skin. All right. See, this is quite good because the problem with a lot of superheroes is that they've got it too good, right? Like Superman in particular, right? You know, they camera Superman, then they had to just keep inventing ways in which he could
Starting point is 00:39:07 almost be defeated because he was just too strong. He was basically it was totally invincible. He could fly and do everything, right? But you're I at least had to smell no skin or alarms or legs man. Yeah. He doesn't have that problem. Yeah. Right. That's one of the few problems he does. Look, I've got some good news. Problems you don't have, you're not, you know, invincible. Right. So, you know, if you were a cartoon character, it would be much easier to write villains for you. He would be able, he would make a great sommelier, if it wasn't for the agonizing pain
Starting point is 00:39:48 that he was constantly in. Because all your senses are heightened. Well, does he have lips? Does he have lips? If you lose all your skin to you, lose your lips, your lips are just skin, aren't they? Well, I mean, they're a new skin. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:40:03 They're different types of skin. Yeah. Do you consider the inside of your mouth to be skin? Yeah, yeah, or they organ wall Oh, good. Whoa. Yeah It just sounds like an album name, isn't it? Yeah organ wall Or the guy who plays an organ yeah, or a wool Smell is all that he has and his lips and he's an organist that he has and his lips and he's an organist. Somebody just has to lean him up against the organ. And he goes and boy, he's beautiful music. He does it all by memory. He doesn't know what he's doing. He's screaming a lot. But bless him, he doesn't know. Oh, bless him.
Starting point is 00:41:12 He's screaming. It's another one of those. It's the guy with the spider and his mouth again. All right, it's no good, Elis. It's just not a sketch idea. It's just horror. It's just the most awful thing. And all you've done, right, is you've taken horror, right?
Starting point is 00:41:29 And you think you've made it okay by giving him the ability to play the organ. But that does not take away from the essential morbidity, the unpleasantness of everything else, okay? He smells the keys. So somebody's put a different smell on each key. Right. Broccoli, like... No, I think you just have a scale. So somebody's somebody's put a different smell on each key right broccoli Like I think you just have a scale. Hey, you just have a scale of smells you just go from you know Lemon all the way down to fart
Starting point is 00:41:57 So wait there's only like eight keys or no 12 keys or something like that. No, I'm a keyboard Yeah, but in a scale. Oh, but then no, no, in an octave. Yeah, in an octave. Well, sure. But then you've got to go all the way up. Also, you're not going to just, it's not going to just go mustard, you know, peppermint. Gravy.
Starting point is 00:42:20 Gravy. Cheese. Cheese. Uh, freshly mongrous. Camomile. Bird hair. Bird hair. Gravy cheese cheese Freshly-mongred Camomile burnt hair Feak burnt ants fart Three-burned smell
Starting point is 00:42:38 And then and then just repeat them over and over again like you wouldn't the color of the keys are the positioning of the keys or whatever You know, but you're gonna give it an individual smell. I'm going to give it a small full scale. But then there's also two rows. Two rows. Yeah. Okay, well maybe once the sweet smells, once the savory smells, so the white keys are all floral. And the black keys are all floral, right? And the black keys are all sort of earthy. All floral. They're all floral. So they're all different types of flowers. And I guess he does have a great sense of smell. He doesn't have that good sense of smell.
Starting point is 00:43:15 Yeah, with the conductor of his music, like this just have like a range of smells that they're kind of spraying. And it's actually. All to let him know. Yeah, like how does he read a scale like this? How does he read music without eyes? That's what I'm saying. I'm just trying to get my ass kicked out of the way. I'm just trying to get my ass kicked out of the way. I'm just trying to get my ass kicked out of the way. I'm just trying to get my ass kicked out of the way. I'm just trying to get my ass kicked out of the way. I'm just trying to get my ass kicked out of the way.
Starting point is 00:43:27 I'm just trying to get my ass kicked out of the way. I'm just trying to get my ass kicked out of the way. I'm just trying to get my ass kicked out of the way. I'm just trying to get my ass kicked out of the way. I'm just trying to get my ass kicked out of the way. I'm just trying to get my ass kicked out of the way. I'm just trying to get my ass kicked out of the way. I'm just trying to get my ass kicked out of the way.
Starting point is 00:43:35 I'm just trying to get my ass kicked out of the way. I'm just trying to get my ass kicked out of the way. I'm just trying to get my ass kicked out of the way. I'm just trying to get my ass kicked out of the way. I'm just trying to get my ass kicked out of the way. I'm just trying to get my ass kicked out of the way. I'm just trying to get my ass kicked out of the way. I'm just trying to get my ass kicked out of the way.
Starting point is 00:43:43 I'm just trying to get my ass kicked out of the way. I'm just trying to get my ass kicked out of the way. I'm just trying to get my ass kicked out of the way. I'm just trying to get my ass kicked out of the way. I'm just trying to get my ass kicked out of the way. I'm just things and then it's like don't don't don't like that because it goes begonia rose dandelion okay and then he goes okay so that's three notes and then they go literally dirt lily tulip clay all right so you know six notes all. This is a two and a half hour. Fucking lesson, lesson, no, or kiss like, or, or, or question. What about, what about? Okay, so, I'm thinking like, you know, it could be a,
Starting point is 00:44:14 a mother bringing their child along to a piano lesson and explaining the conditions in which the child lives and has no skin or eyes or ears or anything. And the teacher has to try and teach at the piano with these constraints. I'm making a child, hasn't made it any less grim, has it? I mean, like a baby plus children. Yeah, I mean, this doesn't have to be a sketch. Yeah, that's an option. Yeah. It's an option. Yeah. It's just, I guess...
Starting point is 00:44:47 Okay, I think this will be... I don't know. We'll have a discussion about what I was thinking about just then. Yes. After the podcast. It's just occurred to me. I was like, oh, I don't know if it's for on the podcast. Yeah, okay, we'll talk about it off-pod.
Starting point is 00:45:01 Okay, off-pod. On the Patreon, obviously. On the what? Patreon-only off-pod. Well like we don't have a patreon guys But if you guys are really keen on us having a patreon, let us know if you're like oh, you know this money burn a bottle of my pocket Yeah, every month Every month too much money or if you're currently supporting a bunch of other podcasts through patreon and you feel like they're not Lifting their game you wish you had somewhere else to put that money. And you want to hear a
Starting point is 00:45:26 conversation that I had with people that was a maybe too awkward for on the air. Fucking let us know. Let us know and we will kick that Patreon off. I don't know about his business. Super heroes. How many ideas have we got out? I think we have four. And you're one about cloaca. I think I'll check. I reckon I might try and do the Vin Diesel thing as a bit of standout comedy as well. That he was a car. He was a car the whole time. Oh, man, that's going to be a bit.
Starting point is 00:45:57 And it could be something in that. You reckon they could be big? I reckon they could go viral. Because I keep thinking I want to do more stout comedy that's more personal, right? It's more about my life, right? And then I keep having ideas like that. Yeah, I think I want to do stuff that's way, I don't even feel like my stuff is that personal
Starting point is 00:46:16 and I want to do it way less personal. Yeah. Yeah. Right. I just want to be floating from concept to concept. I don't even want, ah. Do you feel like concepts are a bit too real world? Yeah, I think concepts are too real. I think I just want, that's what I mean.
Starting point is 00:46:31 Sort of in series of impressions. Funny notes. Yeah. Yeah. Ooh. Based off of smells. Yeah, oh, I mean, it'll be a process of trial and error, Al. You just go up there, do it almost like cloning, but with sound.
Starting point is 00:46:48 And you just try different notes and you see what the audience responds to and then you try and piece something together from that. If you're a clown, I think. But like a nose clown with hair. You know. No, it's a clown, you mean you've only got a sense of smell. Yeah. Like this only differs from the last one and this one has hair. I think the last go ahead here. No skin hair. Do you think it's all right to bring it up again? Is there a character? Is there a character
Starting point is 00:47:22 like who does like a clown who just does old folks homes like party? Oh wow yeah okay. See that's quite that's quite interesting because then there would be also an upper limit to the comedy that you could do because most scenarios like there is no you can't get to like if you're doing comedy you can't get too funny but I think a nursing home if there would like if there would be like oh you got to comedy you can't get too funny, but I think a nursing home, if there would be like, oh you gotta be careful with these ones, okay? They really can't handle anything that's above
Starting point is 00:47:51 like about a level four. Yeah, that's good, right? They can't make them laugh too hard. Might push them over the edge. Yeah, yeah. So in terms of balloons, like balloon animals, all right. Try to keep it to the least sort of a level four of funny animals.
Starting point is 00:48:04 I'm thinking don't't obviously llamas are out Yeah, I'll pack us around anything from that family is out anything with a long neck Yeah, keep it to keep it to sort of dogs maybe in common breeds I don't want anything nothing like a whip it. I've seen that dashed and it I got a I got a real titter out of that. Too long. Too long. Too long. Nothing too long. Let's look at all the animals whose proportions seem reasonable. OK? Snake.
Starting point is 00:48:31 Too long. Snake. You're off too long. Too long. Snake, that's OK, because that's just a single balloon. It is the easiest to have a balloon animal. It's a single balloon. But just no funny, no funny, extra long balloons.
Starting point is 00:48:45 Okay, we can just go round balloons. Do you have to have those in one? Yeah. Yeah, there's going to, this is the chance. But I think we want to take a chance here. We're sort of liable. Very liable. Very liable.
Starting point is 00:48:58 The round balloons. Mr. Willmont had his third bypass this morning. So. No. So, okay, so balloon animals you got that sort of the little flower on your thing there, squirts water. What could you just have a kettle there in Paul T? Could you just sort of Paul T instead of that? The guy that says bang, could we just make that say sorry? Sorry, and shush, and he's not. And does it have to, it doesn't have to sort of jump out?
Starting point is 00:49:29 Jump out like that. Could you take it out with it already out? I'm shy to the ears. And could you give a warning before you pull it out? What if it wasn't again? Could it be a sheep with a stick in his mouth? So the sheep, you see, he's not a funny animal. It's just a normal shape, the neck that seems reasonable.
Starting point is 00:49:55 But don't make it a real sheep. Don't pull a real sheep out of a suitcase. I think that would be shocking. Probably more shocking than the gun. Could you just describe it? You say I'm pulling out a sheep with a stick in its mouth with a flag on it that says sorry I think we could probably cope with that barrel. I think that's a barrel. Oh, I don't know. It's reached a level of absurdity That's quite quite quite amusing. Oh
Starting point is 00:50:22 I'm quite quite amusing. Oh, barrel. I don't think any of the people, oh look, we can take the risk. Let's just keep a pro'sake. Pro'sake. Okay, so I've sort of office comedy. Something about, you know, you go to get staples and they're out in the stapler and you go to and you ask, Jess who's got the station stationary cover and you say, can I get some more staples and she says, oh, I'll have to have a look and then she goes and she has a look and there's
Starting point is 00:50:51 no staples and they say, oh, I have to get some more staples, we really use those and she says, yes, there's something of a staple. You see, what I like about that is that nobody gets hurt. I think that's a nice, easy, digestible form of comedy. And it's long enough that... Not long like a neck, not long like a funny neck. Not a funny neck. It's long enough that any of the oldies who are following it
Starting point is 00:51:20 will have forgotten how it started. So if they did find the ending funny they won't no longer understand the context. So it'll sort of exist free of context, which is where I think a lot of comedy comes from. Yeah, and I kind of like that it's long enough as well that by the time you finished it, that we'll be closer to the end. Also, it's long enough that if any of the people, any of the oldies do die during it, we could plausibly say it was just old age.
Starting point is 00:51:51 It was just the passage of time that caused the death, that over the course of the joke, rather than the joke itself. Although I guess, in that sense, by taking up time, the joke was the cause of death. Well... And you were the legal guardian for the period of that joke. So in a way, I think we're going to have to say that we're... We're okay for comedy. Yeah, we can't accept your services, I'm so sorry today. But maybe next time...
Starting point is 00:52:21 If you could use something that goes outside of the realm of time... Yeah. Maybe next time, if you could use something that goes outside of the realm of time and is inoffensive and to be honest your necks are a bit too long is sort of comedically long. Could you lift your shoulders up a little bit and do something outside of the realm of time that is inoffensive? What if it's not funny? What if instead of doing the balloon animals and the funny thing with the flower and the little dance you do at the start and riding in on the small bicycle
Starting point is 00:52:46 You just gave Mrs. Wilson a sponge bath Or how about this could you just poke your head in to the room not too fast obviously But not so slow that it takes up time And then just leave how much would it cost us to get you to do that? Thank you. All right. Have a good day. Okay. I think, I think, uh, yeah, the, the, the editorial process that, what would you call that? Steph, You're like a clown doctor for the elderly. Right, right. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:53:27 I'm sure they exist. But then the manager of the old people's home and his assistant go through the routine and vet it before. I think the idea of longness being funny is funny. That makes me. Yeah. I think everyone's in a neck brace as well, like in old people's homes, everyone's in a neck They do sink down.
Starting point is 00:53:53 So if the length of the neck doesn't get them through comedy, it'll get them through envy, which they're also very susceptible to. Oh, because if you can at like the age of 20 sleep wrong and hurt your neck Imagine how it could happen when you're 90 Yeah, when you're prone. I still think about that time that you hurt your neck And you just look You just look at the wall. I look slightly to the left. And I was incapacitated for weeks. Oh, I am fucked. What are you there? Oh God.
Starting point is 00:54:36 What happened? I looked at the wall. She couldn't look at anything for a few weeks and it was just like that. Oh my god, please don't move. You can still look at things. You just have to turn your whole body to face anything. Which makes you look like a mere cat. Yeah, it does. Meekhead is a quite comically long.
Starting point is 00:55:08 That is. That is. Every bit of the meekhead is quite long, which is interesting, because overall, they're still a very short animal. You wouldn't think you could put so many long things together until like something that's so short. I think their head is kind of tear drop-shaped, maybe. It's the head that lets them down.
Starting point is 00:55:23 It lets them down in terms of height. If they had a longer head, they could be much taller. And funny, yeah. And funny here. Yeah. But at the moment, the only funny mere cat is Timon. Yeah, Timon. And to be honest, he was the straight man.
Starting point is 00:55:37 He was. But he was the straight man to a farting pig. So. I declare a farting pig. So... I think we're complimenting him. We're all the straight men to a farting pig. Yeah, even the silliest man on earth. Charlie Chaplin. Charlie Chaplin, is he the...
Starting point is 00:55:57 I don't know, he seems to have a real darkness to him. That's true. He had a kind of almost a seriousness to his... Jim Carrey? Jim Carrey, this series, he also has a deep... He had a kind of almost a seriousness to his Jim Carey. Jim Carey, this series, he also has a deep... Anyway, the sad clown is very much alive. This is a straight man. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:56:14 There is something funny in this straight man, I'm sure. This straight man. Well, this is, this is, this is quite deep. It is, isn't it? You can show two straight men. OK, well, we'll, I've, the two straight men, or a double-like that was a straight man and a funny man. And then the funny man dies, obviously,
Starting point is 00:56:36 because he didn't look after himself. No, no, wait, no, no. The straight man dies. And then the funny guy loses his sense of humor because of the tragedy. Okay, so he becomes a straight man But he still considers himself the funny man. So he knows up with a straight man So now it's the straight man and a really sad man Which makes the straight man the silly funny man funny one yeah the funny one just by comparison I think that he's quite a funny dynamic like it like a like a sort of
Starting point is 00:57:12 a jolly sad man like a like he's he's fat and he's still doing all the pretzels but he is genuinely crying you and Lee crying. So would you have to have see what see his old act where he was the silly fat man falling down and kind of you know getting his face stuck in a bowl of soup and sort of you know get stuck in a pool. Yeah, landing face first in the crotch of a jock. All that stuff, but then you see it later as a sad man. Oh, damn.
Starting point is 00:57:59 Sad man, because it's facing the crotch of a jock. Well, crotch is also the the joke, isn't it? Like, as jock itches the jock. Absolutely. So the crotch is the jock of the... Of the jock? Yeah. Yeah, the jock's jock.
Starting point is 00:58:15 Which, yeah. But, yes, okay, so you see his up, but let's see, this is getting hard, Elstic. Because not only then do we have to write something that's funny when it takes place with a man crying we also have to write something that is inherently funny. But it's slapstick so all you got to do is get hurt. That's true it's easy. Yeah I think. I'm not saying it's easy but I'm just saying that technically that is our job is to come up with things that are funny and so we should not do it
Starting point is 00:58:43 because it's difficult. Yeah, that's a good point. I was hoping to get out of it. But all right. No, that we have to do it. And we have to definitely do it. I'm just going to write this down. I think it's a good idea. I think it's a great idea.
Starting point is 00:58:55 Yeah. Kill. Kill. The straight man. Kill. Straight. Yeah. And he.
Starting point is 00:59:04 Oh, man. Well, how he, he, out then. Well, how does he die? The straight man. Does he, I mean, I guess it would add to the tragedy if the funny man was in some way responsible? Yeah. Either by, like, genuinely doing something clumsy and stupid, or by not recognizing that the straight man's seriousness
Starting point is 00:59:28 was actually a cry for help, and that he needed. He actually needed to be able to release some of those emotions and he couldn't. Wow, man, you don't realize that there probably is a sad story behind every straight man. Yeah, yeah, absolutely. Why is your life so joyless?
Starting point is 00:59:49 Hang it out with this pret, though. This pret. Anyway, if you're a straight man, don't forget to call offline. Uh, Google it. If you Google, if you put in the other day, just there was a, I think this was a lyric and something somebody Googled the lyric and it was like, oh no, it was a, the 100, you know, the guy claimed to be 146.
Starting point is 01:00:14 40 years, 40 years. Didn't die the other day. Anyway, we were talking in the office the other day and there was an interview with him the year before and one of his answers to the question was, I only want to die at 145. I think that's a fine thing to do. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:00:34 So all you can hope for, isn't it? And so then we were typing that looking for that. We're people around him saying, oh, that's sad. Oh, no, that's tragic. Well, to be honest, it made us laugh a lot. It's very selfish of you to want to die. And give the your family. But somebody put that into Google to because we were looking for the article and it just comes up with the lifeline
Starting point is 01:00:56 Number. Wow. Yeah, if you put that in. That's good. Anyway, let's run through the sketches. What's the lifeline number? One three something. Double one, double six. Is it? What's the lifeline number? One three something. Double one, double six. Is it? It's not a big deal. It's not a big deal. It's more bloody live, not to do what, eh?
Starting point is 01:01:11 I think these pizza places are kind of going out of business and they could probably do with a new type of business to go into helping people. Well, an anti-depressant pizza. Yeah. Are you alright? Scientists find particles. Oh wait, oh no. Well, an anti-depressant pizza. Yeah, scientists find Particles no wait. Oh no lost our page I'm just gonna Google the last line number I've got this okay. We got the but all is queen of the butt pores. Yep. I think that's great
Starting point is 01:01:43 Great and that has to be explained by a medical professional. Okay, then we got egg in your hair. And the hell can get Adam Elliott to come in and animate it. Ah, somebody, if anybody knows Adam Elliott, I think that there's... Oh, I'm Eddie Monty, I was a nice car. Really? I think he gets paid a lot for speaking. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:02:02 I don't know. Ironic considering that these films of silence. It's a niche joke. It's a niche. It's great. Egg in your hair, bring it to them gently, brainstorm. Yeah. So yeah, it's a team of four. How do you let them know? Anyway, then they decide to make a cake and is their hair, because it's just much easier to find out that you have cake on your head. We got Vin Diesel as a car.
Starting point is 01:02:37 Yeah. Shiny. Like a shiny. Casuals oil. If you go to somewhere fancy someone will park him for you Coming coming out as trams That's a hole. Yeah, that's a Definitely a sketch and then we have old folks clown doctor, which is the editorial sketch. And then we have old folks clown doctor, which is the editorial process in that.
Starting point is 01:03:08 And then we have, they kill the straight man, then the funny man becomes the sad man in a duo with new straight man partner. I think there's some really great sketches in this goddamn. Yeah, absolutely, absolutely. And I think overall, this was really great, except for that moment where you guys both abandoned me.
Starting point is 01:03:30 In the game, your bad health. I don't know if I've ever felt so alone. Is that moment when I was... And I never felt so helpless. I didn't know what to do. I mean, I wanted to help you, but it's like, so looking, watching somebody, just flandering, you know.
Starting point is 01:03:44 That's what I was. And the flound, I'm not going to try and do it. Again, I was going to try and take the breeding process of a flounder, the fish and a plight to buttholes. Like somebody had fallen into water, right? Yeah. And you're watching the drain and you want to be able to jump in and help them, but you realize that actually the water is acid. So it would just be madness
Starting point is 01:04:08 for you to jump in there. You could have just gone, stop, stop! It doesn't affect acid. Anyway. Thank you guys so much for listening to the podcast. This is a two in the think tank we are part of the Planet Broadcasting Network. It's a host to a number of really, really fine podcasts that we encourage you to look up. Yeah, but also look up Stephanie Brutsche on any kind of social media stuff. Yeah, come and check out my Instagram account. It's good.
Starting point is 01:04:54 It's not your good Instagram. Pictures of walls. It's so good. If you like that, it's that. Or the walls. The Scruffian. Ever since she was able to look at walls again. She regained her ability to look at walls.. She gave her a belly look at walls.
Starting point is 01:05:06 She hasn't looked back. I'll say the beauty. And this is a wall there. And this scruffy one is THE SCR U F F I A N. Yeah, like a scruffy ruffian. Great. A scruffy ruffian. Exactly.
Starting point is 01:05:20 And I'm at Alistair TB and Andy is at Stupid Old Andy. You're all Andy. And Steph, you're also a producer of Andy is at Stupador, Andy. And Steph, you're also a producer of the Don't Be Lonely. Yeah. Don't be Lonely peeps. Comedy, comedy empire. Comedy empire. Yeah, so maybe on Twitter, don't be lonely.
Starting point is 01:05:36 Yeah, at DBL, underscore present. At DBL underscore present. To check that out. They're all over the place. Yeah, well over the showcase. Real good shows. Yeah, real good shows. Hey, thanks so much for having me. Thank thanks so much for having me thank god damn it's been the god damn best long time listener this is a ruiner of the podcast this is great to be it is so good to get to have you on
Starting point is 01:05:54 and you've made the podcast so much better stop it stop it trust me You don't. This is what it feels like in the room all the time. Oh yeah. But usually the burden is only on two people. Yeah. Oh, so I'm getting a third here. Yeah, yeah. You're getting a third of bird. Third of the bird. Hey, so Woke It's Broke is excellent by the way. I think we've got to get that trending and I think we've got to get that on some t-shirts. Hashtag. Yeah, we've got to get it on Urban Dictionary at the very least. Let's do that. Is getting things as a hashtag?
Starting point is 01:06:30 Is that a little good thing to do? Yeah. Yeah. Right. Getting things as a hashtag is a new hashtag. You're getting things as a hashtag. Yeah, let's do it. I'm going to start using it on my Instagram.
Starting point is 01:06:43 Getting things as a hashtag. Hashtag. So it's So, yeah, that's right. Okay, guys. Well, thank you so much for listening, because we love you. This podcast is part of the Planet Broadcasting Network. Visit PlanetBcasting.com for more podcasts from our great mates. I mean, if you want, it's up to you. This episode is brought to you by progressive. Most of you aren't just
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