Simple Swedish Podcast - 85 - "TRIPLE EDGED SWORD"

Episode Date: June 27, 2017

Secret of The Beatles - Where Are They Now? Culture War of the Worlds, Choirshop Barbers, Haircut for the Lady, TES, Internet Tribunal, Brick Food Two in the Think Tank is a part of the Planet Broadcasting family  You can find us on twitter at @twointank Andy Matthews: @stupidoldandy Alasdair Tremblay-Birchall: @alasdairtb And you can find us on the Facebook right here Production by George Matthews. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This holiday season, give the gift of glow with OSEA's limited edition Super Glow Body Set. This three-piece kit has everything they need to exfoliate, hydrate, and glow all over. For a gift that will impress, give OSEA's Super Glow Body Set. Right now, you can get the Super Glow Body Set valued at $126 for only $79 when you use code GIF that ocamalibu.com. That's code GIF that osbamalibu.com. This podcast is part of the Planet Broadcasting Network. Visit planetbcasting.com for more podcasts from our great mites. I'm Andy and I'm Alistair George William Charlie virtual and we hear in the podcast you have have internet celebrity back for Yes, yes, I am the internet celebrity back for

Welcome back now we never plan anything for the podcast right but for weeks now ours been telling me We're gonna get back on and I'm gonna call her an internet celebrity. There's literally the only thing that has ever been planned I think it's the only reason I'm on here because he told me to. I'm going to get you on. I'm going to call you an intercept celebrity. I was like, Ow, why are you doing that? Well, it's the most, I mean nothing on the internet. No one knows who I am. It's the most, it's the most planning I've ever done for anything in my life.

And I felt like, this is how planning works. You come up with the idea, right? And then you tell two people. Yes, yeah. And then you do it people. Yes, and then you do it twice And then that's your plan. So this is pretty much sure that's how the Beatles started Yeah, so they said we're gonna be we're gonna be the greatest What do you think George? Do you think Paul? Well, Paul I'm gonna tell you that we're the greatest band ever We're gonna tell people that I'm gonna tell him that we're bigger than Jesus

Yeah, you should do now you're getting it. That's it. Okay They like early proponents of the secret Yeah, exactly We're going to be the best band and then they made like a scrapbook I guess and that's how they did it well Well, I mean if I scrapbook, I guess, and that's how they did it. Well, I mean, if bus scrapbook, you mean hugely successful career back. Yeah, and it's what I mean.

Yeah, or the cover of the Sergeant Pepper's album, which would have been like scrapbooking. Yeah, it was very much, it was very much an image in which they put themselves amongst the greats, which is a little bit cocky, I gotta say. I mean, it was lucky that they were great. Yes, no, no, no, they weren't great before they put themselves in there, made

themselves great. Well, you don't know when, yeah, exactly. We don't know when they made that cover. We don't know when they made that album. Nobody knows. Nobody could tell us. Nobody could tell us. Nobody could tell us when they made that or like nobody's really looked into it. When will somebody write the history of the Beatles? Come on! Get on it! They're the World War II of music. Everybody in group. No body's interested in looking into them

or where they came from. Okay, their origins are not of interest to us. But I'm saying, look all I'm saying, just humbly putting it out there, that maybe there might be, I don't know, a pamphlet in it or something, you know? And I think people could be interested to read that. At least a tumbler.

A tumbler, a tumbler about the Beatles, who are they, what do they look like, you know? And then people will be like, you know what? I've really, really passionately appreciate their music, but it's never occurred to me to ask myself what they look like. I'm gonna check appreciate their music, but it's never occurred to me to ask myself what they look like. I'm going to check out this tumbler. And that is how things get made.

Now I've told you two guys about it, I'm going to make that. Oh, that's the way planning works as we pre-establish. Yes. Luckily we told an internet celebrity, so we're going to be able to use their fan base. Yes. So spreaders up. I've got so much influence. we we told an internet celebrity so we're gonna be able to use their fan base I've got so much influence that's good social media influencer Influenza That's true always but and always in front of a computer Somehow those two are connected. I'm the internet Hulk. Yeah, I'm always sick

Is the Hulk always sick? Well, he's a way. I mean, his anger is a sickness. I suppose there's a- He's green, the traditional color of sickness. That's true, and jealousy. Mm. You're sick with jealousy, that could be it.

Yes. I'm sniffly. You wouldn't like me when I'm sniffling. Oh. I've written down the idea that Sergeant Pepper's album cover was a vision board that they created early on where they put themselves amongst the greats. It was quite a vision board because they prophesied the existence of Jimmy Hendrix. That's just quite good. Absolutely. Well, he would have been alive at the time, right?

Yeah. Well, I guess so it's not that impressive. Yeah. No. Predicting the existence of Jimmy Hendrix would he still eat when he does exist? Yeah. If he's alive at the time.

Yeah. Exactly. And then they predicted a lot of people that had happened already before in the past. Yeah. That was unbelievably. Did they have predictions with? Well, that's what makes them all the more impressive.

No, okay. But yeah. In a way they were pre-dictions. Yep. In a way. Yeah. If you say it that way, and can you say that they were?

He was dictating things that had already happened. Pre-dictions. That is what that means. Correct. But, um, Alistair, but I also think that there's something in the idea of somebody not, this universe we created where no one's looked into the history of the beast. Of the Beatles, yeah. Like, you know, there might be something in it. Sure, yeah. So, now, but I prefer the version of the world where for some reason nobody's interested in it, right?

And then rather than the version of the world where it's just one person who thinks that nobody's looked into it, right? But I think my preferred world is, as is so often the case, the harder one to create. We can imagine a better world. But how do we get there? Well, it's crazy because at the moment,

it's easy to imagine that somebody, people would look into it because so many people love it. Yes. But how do you get this guy to try to convince people but people would look into it because so many people love it. Yes. Right? But how do you get this guy to try to convince people that it's good when not very many people like it? Well, no, but I think everybody likes it, but nobody's paid any attention to it.

It's always existed, like, you know, the sky. Yeah, right. You're just like, oh, it's being there. There's always been the big. There's never been a moment there hasn't been. So why would people be? People, maybe it's like there. There's always been the people. There's never been a moment that hasn't been. So why would people be? Maybe it's like science, like the big bang is like, people are, you know, we take this for granted,

but people are now speculating that there might have been a time before the Beatles existed. And then there might have been a moment at which they came into being. Yes. Yeah, right. And I've heard that there are some theories that there's actually multi-beetles.

Oh, wow. They think that in different places, there may have been other beetles. You know, obviously, that we can't see that are outside of our perception and things like that. It might be playing at a frequency that's higher than our ears can pick up. Yeah, because it seems unlikely that the beetles

would come into existence, but when you realize that they did, that they did, that's even more unlikely. But it's the Beatles like one of those things, you know, when you're sitting in bed at night and you've got nothing else in your mind, you're like, oh no, how does life work? Where am I going? Where do we die? The Beatles. Like, is that where it fits in? So people don't want to think about it. Because it's like contemplating the infinite. Yeah, exactly. It's hard for our heads to imagine a world in which the Beatles can't. And it's unpleasant. This is a bit of a divergence.

But you know how we're always like listening to the sky to try and get radio signals from aliens. Yes. What if we tap into that, right? We actually find it and we actually can watch their television or listen to their radio or something. And it's all really really bad. So somehow we do manage to get the converted into English. Yeah and it's very, very poor. Like production and quality,

like their storytelling is like really clumsy. But what if that's what the aliens, what if that's their, you know, breaking bare, what if that's their high quality drama? Yeah, well, they think they're going through the old age of television. Yes. But that's a good way to go.

We've got so much of that shit to give them as like an offering and go like, oh, he's all the nanny, you know what I'm saying? That would be really big. Like in terms of a new streaming market, I guess it would be like when Australia got access to Netflix, right? And that has really precipitated

the death of our local content production market. Definitely. Right. Yes. Right. Disappointation. Yeah. And like, then, but then if we start broadcasting and selling streaming services to alien worlds because we've got such good television, are they going to implement quotas so that we have to make a certain amount of alien content in order to get a broadcast license? I think it's not just that.

It's the fact that a lot of people talk about aliens invading or us invading another planet, us trying to conquer them. What if we don't need to conquer them? What if we just drip feed them bad sitcoms until they sort of become, I guess, sort of wally, those wally humans. Okay. So like, we're trying to defeat another alien race just by too many home improvement episodes. Like, you know, in World of the War of the Worlds, right?

It was the simple bacteria already living in our atmosphere that some aliens weren't able to cope with. They had this huge, you know, machines and stuff, but they died from the common problems, right? They had great, they're great music that went along with them. They, and I don't know. That's it. That's great.

That's it. That's great. And then, but what if they're also like not able to resist the temptations of our pop culture, so then to spend all their time on the couch, you become really, really fat and lazy. And then they're holding from hunting. Their whole world becomes a huge welfare state. But they're just so filled with compassion, Which is why their stories don't need to be that interesting because they feel so much emotion based off of the simplest,

like, you know, the simplest viewings of another person's experience. So they're able to, like, instantly connect and obviously, like, they love their stories, their soaps, right? They're totally into that stuff. That's why when we show them something that is ours, which is not even that good, but it's just so good compared to, you know, they start really relating to,

you know, Tim Allen's wife, you know, and her plight, and they just get, they become couch potatoes. Yeah, I have been wondering for a while who there's all this Snapchat stuff, right? Where you can click and and look at people's lives from all over the world and a lot of it is like, where are at a festival?

I think this is for them. I haven't known who the audience of this sport. I think it's for these things. So let's not waste all that beautiful, ugh, on these people. Let's give them all the Snapchat's. Let's just, I reckon maybe that's where the snapchats go. Especially your boring ones. Where, where, where, where, where, where, where there's all the box sets of home improvement?

I don't understand. So wait, so wait, we have to leave them here. I think we can use them later as ammo for some sort of. They're quite poity. Oh yeah, you could imagine future ninjas using sort of discarded DVDs as shureken. Yeah, yeah, um, sharpen the edge. I think that's very good. I think it's cultural war of the worlds. Culture war of the worlds. That's very good. So we've got to maybe call it.

And then there's still a further iteration of this that may be nothing, but you know how we're always complaining about the Americanized, or maybe back your two young to know about this, but we complain about the. Maybe two famous. Yeah, two famous, too much influence. The Americanization of Australian culture, right?

I don't know if you've heard of this back. People complain that we've got too much American stuff and that we... I've never heard of this before. Stop talking down to back. But once we like... Once we... We made the citizens, yeah?

The citizens are think. The whole back is so naïe. Did we make sipsons? We started with that Australian episode and then the sipsons went to America and then the rest of it's taken place over there. That's the way that works. It's like myth busted.

Yeah. It was originally a fish out of water kind of story. But then we thought, what if we put these fish in water? And then that ran for 25 seasons so far. Give them three eyes off they go. We put them in water and they really throw. To be honest, it was way better. They seemed out of place. Well, the fish out of water. They were like, we're gonna look at that. We're like, well, they'll be dead in half an hour. Especially with all of us. We're gonna chase them. It was very hard to find another place to go with

the rest of the story after they had chased them out of Australia and everybody in the country hated them. So they kind of just plopped them into some liquid. But like, once we tap into the alien radio signals and we start saying this is the way it goes, we get their culture and their TV, there will be people complaining about the alienification of earth culture and how we're wearing out our baseball caps upside down or whatever they do on the planet, Zim-Born.

Zim-B Zimban? I would like if there was up this planet, this is just a special detail that doesn't need to be, you know, it's not crucial. But if the only way that you can say it is by three people, Barbara Quartet style, Barbara Sharp Quartet style, let me go, Zimban. Zimban Zimban Zimban Z bones, in bones, in bones.

Thank you guys, that was perfect. I'm real sorry, Matt. Yeah, it's okay. I forgot what barbershop Quentin was. I thought it was just a line. I just got out my razor and whatever the hand scissors thing. Hands scissors. What you're referring to there is, of course,

the choir shop barbers. There's 160 close-harmony singers descend into local barbershops and all work together to cut somebody's hair. It was a cultural phenomenon popular in the early 70s, a sort of a response to a lot of them. Was it like, you know, when violins come by your table while you eat and food? Was it the same sort of thing where you got to just act like it's fun?

And you just keep, you're like, thank you. That's what they do with all their, with all their laid-off chefs. And they look, you're terrible at cooking. But what you could do is you could screw two of those knives together to make a scissors. Oh yeah. But it, whoa, a chef who's also a barber. You know, like if you've seen those coffee shops

that are also have a hairdresser's in them, you go, I don't want to be a food where the people are setting up their beliefs. Like it would be a miracle if you didn't find a hair in your food, right? It's already a miracle. It's true. That's true.

I never wore a hairnet. None of the chefs I had, when I was a kid, no one wore a hairnet. No, or a harness. That's why I should. And we were all shedding constantly from stress and scratching a lot. He worked exclusively with Labradoras.

Yeah. Is there good stuff in here to eat I oil I've definitely tried and I don't think I've got much out of it. You've tried yeah I mean oh we've all set around the native hair or two. I feel like also Barbers mixed with chefs. We just made sweening Todd in that situation. They did eat hair I guess but they also ate other things like Everything yeah, like noses and eyeballs. Oh should watch that um and they did eat here I guess, but they also ate other things like, everything, yeah, like noses and eyeballs. Should watch that. But,

is that a, no you can't, it's Johnny Depp and he's, oh, oh yeah, I'm still doing a Hunter's Thompson there, I'm fucking 30 years later and, well yes, and also the domestic stuff. Yeah, he's not, he's not good enough. Oh yeah, yeah, there's that too.

Fresh, fresh, fresh reports. And, you know, hello, I'm still Hunter at Stolmson. I'm still so, oh, this is making us do the worst. And out of this book, it's podcast. Hey, one's a lot of stuff, but an actor cooked a meal for you. No. Okay, so, but, okay, okay, wait, okay, I beg,

but you mentioned the thing about the people who come up to your table and play music while you're eating, right? What about people who come up to your table and start cutting your hair, right? Right? Hey, cut, or like, or it's like the lady with the roses, who's like, you know, roses for the lady,

but it's like, but it's other services like that. So she goes, hey, cut for the lady, and you're like, on a day you go, oh, fuck, I'm going to cry for a day. I'm going to look like an asshole if I don't buy my day. But I think, what are those bands that do that? Marriachi. Marriachi bands, right. See, the thing is, they come up and they just start playing, right?

So it'd be worse if they came up and they just started snipping away. And then once they started, like, you're like, oh, well, I've got to at least go get them to even it up. Yeah, right. Wouldn't it be worse? I think I'm for this.

I think it's great. I hate, I hate the worst part of getting a haircut is deciding to get a haircut and need to go to the place. Yeah. Having a haircut thrust upon you, I can get on board with this. Like, surprise. We've board with this. Like, surprise! We've dealt with this situation for you. It might not be the best outcome, but you know it's been done.

They start at the back and you don't realize they're even there until they get to the fringe. They work their way around. If they're good. If they're good. And especially if the music that's playing in the restaurant is very snipping. Like a lot of maracas and washboards. If they just play that bit. Yeah. Are there foods that you can eat that make you sound like you're making sizzle noises?

Oh, let's see. Jeetincorne chips. Yeah, maybe. Yeah, maybe. All nachos. It's a nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, Oh, especially if there's somebody in your ear with a trumpet while the other person's cutting your hair. That'll do it. That'll cover it. It's all Marriachi playing the cherry. It's a fire theme on trumpets. While other Marriachi...

It just seems in place. It's a hairdresser who's also a percussionist. Is it a one man band? I actually now, if it's a one man band sort of person, then they got to be cutting your hair with their knees or something, don't they? Oh, that had been interesting hair cut. That feels like, you know, one of those ones that might get on YouTube and it would be like, oh, look, look at this amazing haircut. You get it with your knees. Like, I think that's a selling point too. Like, this is that's a selling point too. Like, this is all just a good business. I could imagine somebody doing that maybe with like,

with the clippers, using their knees to sort of run the clippers up your head. What about like, if you had to blade a blade on each thigh? Oh yeah, that's obviously. And then the legs essentially become a scissor. Well, what you do, I got, look, that's good. That's really good. But what you do is you have a bunch of people standing with with blades on the inside of their thighs and then somebody who wants a haircut crawls between their legs sort of it's kind of like it's like the like a car wash version you know like an

automatic car wash version but for a haircut. Yes. And but it still employs people. Many people. Yeah. And you just run your head along the sides of the of their legs. So you sort of you run your hair against the area in a thigh as you crawl between their legs where the blades are. Where the blades are. So it's it takes it look. So here's what it is is it uses both automation. Yes, right? But also is automation in that in that nobody is doing anything. I don't think you know what automation is. Yeah, but look. Okay, so there's one of it's a treadmill. It's a treadmill and you put the person like rotting fruit as automation. Absolutely.

Absolutely nature. The wonders of technology. Yeah, so, okay. So the only thing that, instead of person crawling between the legs, is that their hands are tied to some rope. Like that. And then they drag. Yeah, it's a big drag.

Like a car. Yeah, and then that rope is attached to a self-driving car. And then it pulls them between the legs of the people that are standing there like that and then it cuts their hair as it goes through. It's basically just, you know, let's call Elon Musk. Eric and you'll have him at self-driving car, you know, because he's always looking for new applications of his technology. You tell him, look, I've got something for you, Elon. Obviously, I think you might be sensitive around hair cutting topics, but other than that.

Why do you think you'd be sensitive about that? Apparently, he's got hair plugs. Apparently, he was balding a lot about 15 years ago. But he would be interested in that. He's got a thick head of hair. Yeah, well that's good. Because he needs to maintain that hair that he has now obtained. 15 years ago, and we always got a thick head of hair. Yeah, well that's good. Because he needs to maintain that hair that he has now obtained.

I think you just go, I've got two words for your mate, Knife needs. And that's perfect. Look how I've been seeing it. I think when you say you've got two words for someone, they need to be words that are sort of self-explanatory in some way. They're kind of stand-alone. No. Not two words that then require several self-explanatory in some way, they kind of stand alone. No.

Two words that then require several fails and pages of text. He loved to love some history. No, he loved to understand immediately. He's a smart man. He goes, knife knees. Oh, it's already got it. He's already got it. He's already cutting.

I'll get the self-driving vehicle in the rope. I think the only thing that would have to be explained, after you say knife knees, is that you would have to explain that this isn't a blade that has knees. This is knees that have blades. Hold on. And then you go, right, come on. I like the idea of it.

That would be his only question. So would a knife knee have, still have the sharp bits and then like a hinge? And then that's a terrible idea. A blade with a hinge in the middle. Yeah. Just like, swap around. That's perfect.

It bends back towards you. I think knives are too easy these days. Yeah. Kids have got it too easy. They buy their knives, they go stab and what if they were harder to use and potentially could hurt you a lot? But there have to be consequences. What about you've got a you've got a long you've got a broad sword a long broad sword right? Long and broad. Long and broad. No no no it's a thin sword. I mean it's a long thin sword possibly

Possibly a man is wielding it possibly a woman. Wow, right? That's good. You look at our guys Okay now and the woman has agency just letting you know, okay, the man doesn't no We're very equal. He's in slide We're very equal. He's in slave to the slave to the blade. Oh You know, maybe I don't have a bloody slave to the blade Okay now, but this sword has a knee in it, right? Okay, so it's a long sword, but He take you take the knee and you bend it all the way back

Yes, right? So like like if you were let's say if it was a leg, you'd be stretching out the cat, not the calves, the thawed, the quads, okay? Like that, folds all the way back, all the way back, you got yourself a short double-edged sword. I know initially you were imagining the sword was double-edged, but I couldn't say single edged because then you were going to see where I was going.

All right, so now it's just, it's a sword that sometimes if you want just a single edged sword, but it's long, so you got range. Let's say you're fighting, you're having a sword battle with a basketballer. Right. Right, gives you that extra range. Yeah. Like that. Come back, you're fighting a jockey.

I've always... You hate sports people. Right. I've always been in a situation where I'm like, this, this sword, it's got too many edges. Exactly. Get rid of one of them. He's a great idea. Triple edge sword.

You know that flat bit in between the two edges? That could be sharp. That could be sharp. Couldn't we make it really thin? Why is it so broad? What a tall edge. Oh, but that's crazy. Why not?

It's like it's somewhere between a sword and that wire that mobsters use to touch the skin. It's a wide, yeah. Well, I guess a wide. And a way a lightsaber was that, wasn't it? It was like, it was all edge. Yeah, but it's not sharp. It's Bernie What about a piano wire so it's like it's just a stiff piano wire at the end of a big hilt Is it a hilt is that what it's called?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah Like that and it's just got a wrist it's the thinnest of wines, but rigid, so rigid. It's like a, like I'm, forget it. I think we could do this with carbon nanotubes. Exactly. Yeah, I mean, I've been, I've been looking for an application for my carbon nanotubes technology.

This is the first time I've been worried being on a podcast and being like, oh no, a master criminal is gonna listen to this and go, oh, he's a great, great ideas. You're giving him to the criminals, guys. Especially a criminal that's going to go back in time to the medieval times. It's a real advantage. What? Yeah, because I think that will also, once you get to that point, because it'll be like

the finished of skewers as well. So it will go right through chain mail. Like if you're using it to like, like just a forward thrust, like a thumbtack, like that, like that. It'll go right through people, because all that force will be, will be tiny points and triton point.

It is my problem with this whole idea. You're like, oh, I'm obviously gonna stab people with my sword. What about just a nice shishko bob? Like a real long shishka bob. Because the problem with shishka bobs is getting it through the chicken. Getting it through the chicken. Absolutely. Got a stabby stab.

Getting it through mostly the like the capsicum, like a hard capsicum. You know what I realize guys? We may have just invented the tandoori chicken stick. But so this is very often the way things go. Technology that is developed for the military, then finds its way in our day-to-day life. So soon we will be using carbon nanotubes swords to shish kubo about handoori chicken stick. The hard part would be when you travel back in time as a master criminal to the middle ages and you say, okay, bring me your carbon nanotubes. They won't. They won't have any.

I don't know. I think you're assuming a lot the past, you know, it's good old days. It's something in the good old days. Surely in the good old days they had carbon nanotubes. What about the good old days, are you think? Well, you know, the good old days. I actually invented carbon nanotip. I'm really, I just, you know what I just thought of. I mean, this is still on the same topic. But, you know, like, graphing, you know, when there is a graphing that you get from, like,

just putting a sticky tape on to, graphite, is that, you get a really thin layer. And it's like an atom thick. Yep. Imagine that as a sword. Because it's strong, right, apparently. Yeah, but only in one direction.

I think you find it was floppy in the other direction. Oh, unfortunately. Like the sword in Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon? Was there a floppy sword? I think that was the thing. Is that it was a floppy sword, but if you could, if you knew how to wield it. It became rigid.

Well, no, but like, if you could wield the floppy sword, then you could have this really thin sword that would just have unbelievable power. I think it would look, I haven't watched all of it. I just, I downloaded it about 20 years ago. Were you going to sleep a little bit as you were watching it? I have watched it, not I remember

being a floppy soul. Well, there's definitely a movie that was made in Asia. Yes. That was that involved people fighting with swords and one of the swords was floppy. Because Crouching Tiger Head Dragon would be quite a misleading title. Like floppy sword. The Avengers of floppy sword.

Well. I'd be like, oh, okay. Now I get it. Well, look, I feel like if people haven't heard about this film, I could maybe get the rights to it and re-release it in the West. And the pictures of floppy. The adventures of floppy sword. I think that floppy sword,

it seems like a very much a Mel Brooks kind of idea. Oh, let's not get, look, hey, I think it's time for new blood. I think it's time for new blood. I was getting Mel Brooks in here. Mel's out, okay? How about I make it's time for new blood. I think it's time for new blood. I'm just getting millbrooks in here. Mill's out, okay? How about I make it? I'm starting a new show on TV.

For Netflix, it's gonna be cutting edge comedy. Cutting edge. The young generation. Probably sword. Probably sword. Get millbrooks in here. Ah, god dammit. Anyway, I won't use as many racial slurs as the Mel Brooks.

Yeah. Don't make promises, I mean, it's bad enough that it's racial, but do you have to slur? I mean, at least have some diction. Anunciate. Anunciate. Racial clarity. It's a racial, it's a clear racial word.

Anyway, Beck looks really uncomfortable. It's because this, it's a, it's a, it's a clear racial word. Anyway, Beck looks really uncomfortable. It's because this could ruin her celebrity. Oh, that's true. She's got a lot more to lose than us. Yeah. Oh, my followers and mollocks and that's probably, well, you might.

Well, you might. Do you think that like there could be some kind of a tribunal? You know how, like, in sporting matches, like, you can be stripped of your title, or, you know, you could have lose your medals, or you could get points taken off for, like, some sort of breach of the rules, even long after the game is finished?

Should there be some kind of social media tribunal that can go through and, like, deduct likes? Yeah. For certain things, and, you know, retract retweets, force blocks, force blocks, you know. Oh, what if, because then someone could just be banished to never having retweets again or something. Yeah, well, you know, you, you, you, like, maybe,

or maybe just like a, a suspension of like two years, no retweets or something like that. Oh, I think this is a great idea. I'm kind of sad it hasn't happened yet. It feels like something the internet, the internet's a horrible place. It is sort of all terrible ideas. So it's strange that it hasn't already come up. This is perfect for Bix show, Internet Hake machine, the podcast where you talk about things

on the internet. Do you plug in the middle? Hey, we plug sometimes first thing. If I see a bloody plug hole, I am going to... You're going to put something in it. Yeah, plugs. Sometimes. At Nordstrom, you can shop the best holiday gifts for everyone you love.

All in one place. You'll find beauty favorites, cozy presents, fun ideas under 100 and more. Like festive dressing for you in your home, experience the magic at your favorite store. Or order on Nordstrom.com with free shipping and returns. Need it faster? Pick up your order today in store. The best gifts are yours at Nordstrom. Sometimes the song, the opening song, could be internet hate. It could be internet hate machine.

Internet hate machine. Internet hate machine. It would sell an equity back for trade. Well now I'm taking that song. I'm real sorry. Yeah, so I like the tribunal idea. It could be be it's like a penalty box, but it's like the penalty void So you go into the penalty void where basically everything you type nobody sees and Or you know or you don't you're not sure you're not sure if anybody sees it But you know that you definitely not getting any retweets so so so like but what kinds of things are these issued for?

So like I mean, it's a bit grim, but obviously that, like, those people who pretend to have cancer or something so that they can sell you their weight loss journey or whatever, you know, they would have got a lot of, you know, impressions, a lot of Instagram likes and views and plays and that sort of thing. Like, I think the tribunal should be able to deduct a certain number of those, or, you know, maybe strike them all. Yeah, I mean, like obviously, the clear punishment for that would be to get cancer.

Yeah. Oh, that's clear. Oh, absolutely. I mean, that just feels like that's what it should be. But obviously, I don't know if the tribunal has the power. The internet, okay, yeah. To give, unless the crime is committed by a Tasmanian devil, in which case they have their communicable facial tumors

Yes Well, if you are you are sentenced to become a Tasmanian devil and then like maybe there's another layer once again I'm a fear that is outside the purview the tribunal So much abuse is already occurring within the tribunal once. These people have been given power. They're already overreaching. I mean, I tell you what, this facial tumor has been really good for the profile and the amount of money that is put into trying to save the Tasmanian devil.

If it turns out that they have been faking it in order to sell a book, then I mean that is absolutely. They're all the money they've got out of it. Is that why it has the Tasmanian devil? Yeah, it has a devil. Is he just a shield? Is this all just a game to him? Is that also why he has so much trouble talking? And he spins around so much he's real dizzy?

Yeah, it's like that's the physical manifestation of the effects of the mouth tumors that they've been getting. Bleh, bleh, bleh, bleh, bleh, bleh, bleh, bleh, bleh, bleh, bleh, bleh, I like that. And he spins around and... Well, that's... In many ways they predicted it. They predicted that, you know, with that character. Obviously, that was came in before the mouth tumors. Or did he predict it or did he make it happen?

It was because of him that all the Tasman devils were like, oh, we got to fit into this popularity spiral. And they were like, let's get me facial tumor up. Or it was the character that inspired a biologist to give Tasmanian devil's facial tumors. Well, I have a lot to answer for, doesn't it? So it was like one conspiracy that led to this new

conspiracy where they actually do have facial tumors against the mysterious. Okay, wait, look. Okay, so first of all, we gotta go back. We talking about the tribunal. Yes, I think that was the first. Okay, wait, look, okay, so first of all, we gotta go back. We talking about the tribunal. Yes, I think that's a sketch. Yes, yes, yes.

I think the internet tribunal, you know, and I think, I think, you know, the ultimately the more petty the transgressions that have been committed, you know, the better it is for us. Yeah, you reposted a thing on Facebook from Reddit and didn't say where it was from. You're sure. I mean, that's, that's maybe even a bit too realistic to be funny.

No, no, no, no. The best comedy comes from realism. And so it becomes even more funny back. So well done to you. Yes, thank you. Yeah, well, but yeah, but also it's great. Sorry, I was just kind of, you sound out, else you.

Yeah, we do. No, I know, but I don't know why I zoned out and chose to speak. That was probably a decision I made while zoned out. No, I was just gonna think, because I think what's great about it, about the Stribunal, is that we're, what you're really depriving people of is, is sort of endorphins.

You know, you're going, all right. You're not going to get these likes that you normally get, and that you normally check for, to get that little rush of endorphins. So every time you, you, you click on the thing on the, on the little button for notifications, there'll be nothing there. Oh. Anyway, oh, okay. Well, nothing's going on today, I guess. Well, you shouldn't have reposted that fun and read it thing without getting rid of it to the creator. Oh, do you see? No, when the Tribunal acts and doesn't say when it acts.

Like, it's a secret tribunal that just revokes rights without saying anything. It's just like, now you don't have a, could be. What if it's that we administer like some sort of a chemical that stops your ability to feel joy? I mean, that's what the internet is anyway. All right, ladies. Like, I've just realized that Facebook already has created a thing like this where it's like,

if you point a post on outside link, then it doesn't show your thing to very many people. And so then you don't get very many likes. So you're like, all right, well, I guess I'll just won't even bother posting outside links. So you are kind of like being programmed in that way. Being punished. Being punished for trying to share the wrong thing. For going outside the walls of the Empire.

Yeah, they don't like that. Yeah, we don't trade with foreign nations. It's like Japan in the 1800s. It's exactly like Japan in the 1800s. Facebook is Japan. I don't know anything about Japan in the 1800s. Just say it a bit. Exactly, Alistair.

That's because they had a blockade and they wouldn't let anyone in or out. A blockade. Yeah. Is it blockade? Blockade. Okay. Sorry.

It sounds a bit like powerade. Blockade. Powerade. Blockade is like a new energy drink, right? Yeah. That works by stopping you from using any energy. Stop you from moving so that you can keep all your energy in your body. Or, yes.

It's a brick. It's a brick of matter that you eat, right? And you eat it and then it allows you to not do anything. Yes. I call it cheese. Yeah. I was going to say KFC. Yeah.

Is it a block? Yeah, you block the KFC. Or, or I think that say KFC. Yeah. Is it a block? Yeah, you're blocks of KFC. Or, or I think that's a spray. It's a spray, a blockade spray, and you spray it on trolls, and then they just disappear. They become visible. I think a fast food chain that was called blockade.

The block. The block is like all their foods are like say it's like a big Mac burger. They're equivalent of that. It's been just totally blended and processed and then like congealed into a like a little rectangular sort of basically a brick. I should you not. Good. I have a tweet drafted on my computer

that just says, fuck all this circular food. Where's my square food? Nothing fits, like nothing stacks in my pantry. Yes. Why aren't we doing square food more? I had a turquoise delight the other day. Not only was it delicious, but it stacks. So you can have, you can fit a bagable

It's stackable you can fit it into a space all of our food Things are all square wrecked like a fridge is a rectangle at lunch boxes lunch boxes nothing Why are we in a illnesses a rectangular? Yes Sofagus it's all a rectangle. Why are we, why are we doing this to ourselves? Trying to fit these circular foods that are on this train of the bloody Polenta chip people

and they're working with a shit food to begin with. But what are some of the people who've got something that's actually appealing could get on board? Start making us some bloody bullion of, you know, a square banana. That's appealing. Yeah. Real sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Oh, OK. I am very much into that idea. So because first of all, pantry is like, it's like really complicated Tetris because of the roundness of things.

And then also some things are just bags. OK. Some things are bags. These are sort of, you know, without even, they're unpointy polygons. They're sort of unpointy polygons. Unpointy point, unpointy. I don't know, but the corners would be good.

The corners would be good. Like, you're right. Oh, yeah. No, you're right. I'm on board now. Cornenos, the best part is the end pointiness. Sure, but could it be a triangular or a square-based pyramid so that you could probably stack

them into rows like that. If you just put a row of them, like, then you put one down there, one down there. I mean, you can't really see it when I say it like this. I think you're with the circle people. You make it this overly complex. No, no, no. All the time. You're a tagel.

I think you're right. I think you know, sorry we're going to have a get rid of the Cornetto all hail the Eskimo pie. No, listen to me. The Cornetto instead is shaped like a right angle triangle, but like prism. Yes. So it's got a high pot and news like that, right? And so the other opposing one,

when you put it on top of it, it creates a rectangle. And then you have to buy two coinados at once, too. If you want to stack them, you're going to have to buy more than one. That's the best. So then they come in a box, right? And so the'll slide in sideways. So they'll, they'll, by the way, we're now calling them corner rettoes. Corner rettoes, yeah. It's all corner. We're gonna be able to use some of the sort of new old El Paso shell technology that they found ways

of making shells that are different shapes other than curved. Like yeah, I hope that comes out of patent pretty soon because that's gonna be pretty crucial for the whole scheme we got going. Well, we might be able to sort of you know get around the pain by saying that we're doing it with a waffle instead of a Forty-year, right? Let's work with the old El Paso people. They already miles ahead. Absolutely right in pointed and pointed shell technology Yes, okay, so What about a Mexican ice cream?

All right, instead of ice cream, it's sour cream, but frozen and instead of chocolate on top beans. Yeah, okay. Oh, yep, and instead of enjoyment Yeah, dissatisfaction. Yeah. Oh Yeah, there must already be an ice cream taco, right? That must be it. I feel like I've eaten it. But I've eaten so many things.

I feel like you've eaten it as well, baby. I've eaten so many things. I've forgotten. It's probably something terrible. Okay, I'm gonna name a food. You tell me whether you've eaten it. I'm all right. Okay.

A, like a scour. That's interesting what to start with. Yes. Like have you eaten any food version of a scour or just a scour? Ever wheeled, you know, they get in, you can eat a hash brown. They're already in the hash brown.

A hash brown with... It's a scour for the soul. Which sort of like a, like a pesto thing over the top We'd essentially you could call that the scorer. Yeah Guys, we're getting off the rack off the rails here Wait, where are we? We're talking about stackable foods and then before that we're talking about okay It's the fast food place that that makes a brick. Yeah, I think it's Yeah, right and it's like it's it. You're right, and instead of advertising

their different, like KFC has like that, but I've never been popcorn chicken. Oh, right. Oh, they're like mashed whatever. It's all just like different sized cubes. KFC's the beetles of fast beetles. But like all their advertising is like the two and a half inch by three centimeter. Like, oh, try the new four by one and a quarter.

Oh, hey, and I don't want to do it. But the two by four. Two by four. Yeah, if it's not bricks, what if it's like just large planks? Yeah. Because that's how I want it. I don't like, I don't think a brick is enough. What if it's not bricks, what if it's pot, like just large planks? Like, because that's how I want it, I don't think a brick is enough. I reckon a big plank, like a two-boy-four-sized. Well, it's just like a unit of food, right,

that comes out of a thing, right, and you just name a length, right, and you're looking up at the board above the thing there, and it's got all the different lengths that you can have. Or does it have, like, is there a rule of the, when you come in, it's like, you know, the things on right at this time. It's gotta be this high, but it's just got different lengths

so that you know if you can fit it in your car. I feel like that's the big part. You can fit it in your car. Or if it's not your stomach. No, no, no, you can keep the boot open, have it going up the back. They give you a little red flag to put on the end. Yeah.

And it says KFC on whatever. So that's a great, another bit of a place where they can advertise. So yeah, it kind of has that ordering a length like you get from subway, but you can order any length you want because it comes out of a tube. And that's the only distinguishing feature between the different offerings is the length. Well, and also they don't separate the foods. They don't separate the foods. They can bond the foods.

It might be chicken, so it kind of removes some of the need to chew. And choose. And choose. So all you think it's just one product. It's just one thing. And I think their slogan could be, it goes in like it comes out like that. And I guess you could have the option of it. Well, I guess that's in an out burger. It's really a shame that in an out is already taken. But what about just, I like the idea of

it just being called breaks with an exclamation mark. I like that a lot too. Yeah, bricks. What about square peg in a round hull? Look that's good There's there's what's good about that is that you get to think about your holes. Yes, I think are they round? I guess so. Yeah, well actually is it round or is it kind of like is it kind of like a Like a squinting eye Now which hole are we talking about? I'm referring to your throat hole. You're throat hole. Yeah.

I reckon I'm for this square peg round hole. If you can also like one of the extra fun things you get with the meal is a mallet that you can use to just slowly mallet the food. Oh, that would be good. Yeah. Yeah, is it like 3D glasses that they kind of give you a disposable mallet?

Like, so like plastic forks and nots. Yeah, it's like the only utensil. The hammer, these disposable mallets hammer it down. You're brutal. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. What does it feel like to be touched? Is it kind of greasy or is it like, is it feel fine? I hope it's kind of greasy. I think it's, I think you want to see it in some way. Maybe there's also like a spray. You know, there's like a little, a little squirty bottle on each table so you can squirt it. Yeah, or like a little ketchup sachet of like kind of, it's like a little little squirty bottle on each table so you can squirt it Yeah, or like a little ketchup sashay of like kind of it's like a KY jelly, but like yeah food version

So that you can you can help ease it down with the mallet You kind of got to lube up the end of the of the brick and then I guess they're also They also needs to be some kind of a plunger stick right because like once you've got the end of it in your mouth, it's hard to keep hammering it down. So, you need to have like, on eat, everybody gets a mallet, a squirty tube, a lubricating tomato sauce, and like- Well, it's not tomato sauce, it is just a clear, like, it's a lot of splurge. Some sort of mountain juiced, like maybe that's the base of it. clear, like, it's a lot of it. It's a little bit of mountain juice based. Like, maybe that's the base of it.

Yeah, especially if it's for the dessert brick. You're soft, it's your soft drink, yes. Because people have a soft drink with it, well, now that just comes as like a pre-mixed, lubricating, a flavored jelly, right? And, but then you also need a thing that's like a piece of down with like a bit of watering on the end, so that you can use that to hammer down the last of it. What if it's past what if it's not the wanting what if it's those weird roles that you get

At KFC with your two piece feed that always just a bit too hard like I feel like that would be real good for Like a little bread roll like a little bread roll to sort of just end it. Like a little edible mallet. Yeah, like a little edible mallet. That's nice. I think this place is, well, it's the stuff of nightmares. First of all, it's a new eating experience. Absolutely, and people are looking for that, right?

Yeah. It's the whole market at the beginning will just be people going, that's crazy enough that I'm gonna wanna try at least once. Yes. And then if they survived the first vision, they could very well bring their friends. Obviously occasionally somebody will mallet the brick into the wrong hole straight into their air hole.

All right, that's gonna happen. Mallet the brick. All right, that's gonna happen at the beginning, as people get used to this new eating way. We'll do eating stuff. It's really gotta open up your throat, because we're not tapering off these bricks. We're not tapering them.

We're not tapering it off, and you gotta start swallowing. Do it, do it. Do, does each table need a staff member who can guide them? Is this your first time maliting a brick with us? Alright, and then they can guide them through the process, just so that we don't have quite as many deaths. You know those chefs that they cook at your table

and they do all like the funny weird type of hierarchy, type of hierarchy. I reckon like that, but with the malat, maybe they can, like, there are supervised tables where he's doing like fun, and then just like, knock on all your friends. He's, he's, he's, he's, he's jumping on everybody's head. Whilst next to him is this huge grinder

that is pouring like awful and sort of potato and things like that, and using the opposite end of the mallet because yeah, that's what the chef uses and that's what he sort of pushes it into. Tams it all the way down into the grinder. Yeah, into the grinder. Meanwhile, the mariachi band's got it there here. Oh, wait, this is...

Yeah, and he's also being... Like the percussion on people's head, which is really distracting them from the sound of the snipping. This is nice. And they're on screams. Look, I think it's perfect. I think it's the perfect place. Great. Well, look, we need to read through our sketch ideas. We have a fair few. Some of them are not fully fledged sketch ideas, but we're mostly there. Well, we've created several franchises. There's definitely a lot of franchises.

A lot of franchises. And it's a good day when we come up with a couple of franchises. I think it's important to come up with a few new businesses every time because industries are dying because of automation. Yes. Obviously, you know, any industry now that ties ropes around people's hands and ties the other into a automated vehicle. That is taking a lot of jobs away.

So here's the sketch ideas that we have. This is obviously, this is the originators of the secret were the Beatles. When they first created their original Vision Board, which was the cover of Sargent Pepper's album, but they made that years before and they also Possibly created the they also maybe they drew Jimmy Hendrix and also created his career he was he was looking to be working IT at the time wow yeah in many ways they created modern music

they die Conjuring into existence all those people on that. And Aldous Huxley. And Aldous Huxley. They also created Aldous Huxley, therefore also creating Brave New World. And therefore, they created a lot of HSC exams. Aldous Huxley, it sounds like it's a man's name, but it also sounds like it could be a computing company

from the 80s. Absolutely. I'm too young, I don't know could be a computing company from the 80s. Absolutely. I'm too young. I don't know what we're talking about. The 80s were a period ago. Was there a Americanization there? We had a lot of it, and we were very unhappy. But it was British, I believe. Yeah, but did it?

Did they also create scrapbooking? I'm going to go ahead and say yes. Okay, all right, sorry. Yeah, yeah, yeah. While we're here. I don't want to add another idea, I'm gonna go ahead and say yes. Okay, all right, sorry. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Look, while we're here. I don't wanna add another one to you, I'm very sorry. Okay, then we've got someone trying to get people to look into the background of the Beatles.

So it's just, we're in some universe where people love the Beatles, but nobody knows anything about the Beatles. And it's kind of like searching for sugar man type situation. I mean, that's a great way to do it. And they're able to actually track down Paul McCartney. At the moment turns out he's playing arenas all over the world. That's amazing. That's, this is a really fun, like, you know,

it's a documentary, but it's a play. Where is he now? Yeah. Sadly, we were saddened to discover that John Lennon actually died. Dead. Yeah. And we were saddened to discover that Ringo had. When a fan shocked to discover that, or to see John Leonard in real life reacted out of

she a panic and shot him today. Did he say you're not John Leonard and I am? Oh yeah, man. So, you know, nobody knew anything about John Leonard. Some people were, they weren't John Leonard. He didn't have enough information. If only we'd been more informed, John Leonard would still be alive. This is, this is genuinely a really great idea for a monkey misery searching for Beatles man

We thought it was all one man Forget the fifth label we didn't know there was a second battle I pull my can't it who many have called the second Paul McCannity, who many have called the second beta? Look, that's great. Alien civilization with bad entertainment. We send them are, but they're also super empathetic. That's why their entertainment is so bad to us because they can, they just,

they see a man walking across a room and to them they're just like, I am there, I understand. Yeah. Oh, I wonder, like the chicken crossing the road over there is not, uh, that is not an anti-joke. No. It is a goddamn epic. Yeah.

But, but then it's, so when they watch our stuff, it's like uncut heroin. Yeah. It just, they just can't believe the emotion and things like that. And so when we send them it turns them into you know couch potatoes the whole the society kind of crumbles a little bit because they become a welfare state because they're so empathetic they care about everybody. It's all universal basic income. That's they they have it everybody's a billionaire there. And now how exactly this is the end of this sounds real good. Can I get in on this? Yeah, we're all gonna try to move there,

but the entertainment is not great. It's all home improvement. Oh, you have to decide whether you will sacrifice, you know, your eyeballs to home improvement for the rest of your life, but everything else is gonna be okay. You don't have to work, but all that's on TV is home improvement.

I don't even see an episode of home improvement. Oh, I quite liked it. Yeah, oh look, it can be fun. Jonathan Taylor Thomas put a heartthrob. I feel like he left through, like I don't think he's in all the seasons. And Lor Anderson got his start on home improvement. So we get to see Lee. Yeah. No. Yeah. So home improvement predated by watch. Yes. Yeah. So shitting me. You know, you know, this line, yeah, so shooting me, you know, you know this line anybody everybody know what time it is Tool time that's right. Welcome your host till the till man Taylor that would have been Pam in Pam it she said that yeah, she was like the intro to the introducer of the show

I know I know I introduced this idea, but I didn't I'm sorry I didn't have that any Mike I don't know enough of it Pamela and say to be here. I look to be honest I'm not 100% sure it's true but because it's coming out of the mouth of a celebrity. I believe it Also, and then it's all that that alien civilization is called culture war of the world Yeah, then we got and then we've got choir shop barbers which are people who are The group of singers, but they go out in public and cut people's hair.

Wearing funny candy stripes, so suits. Then we've kind of got the people who are like either violinists at your table or sort of like those rows for the lady, kind of women who go around and cut your hair at restaurants. You know, sometimes when you, when, what, the, or Mariachi band star, they do it while you don't even, they start without asking you and then that you, you got to pay for them just to even it out. I think this is a real fertile area of, like, you've come out. I think there could be so many different versions of that.

So many people, like, I've pictured people, the higher the higher the more. One should dry for the lady. Yeah. Or the lady they come and they start giving you financial advice or whatever it is, like you just have endless. And is it just free? Like, you know how sometimes you come in and there's like a free thing in breadsticks?

Is it like that? So you get it for free? Well, then they guilt you into it. Like the mariachi's, like they'll play, but then they expect you to pay them at the end. All right. Yeah, no, you into it, like the mariachi's, like they'll play, but then they expect you to pay them at the end. All right. I see it more like the roses, which is like,

you get a really overpriced rose, but you're kind of guilted into doing it, because it seems like a nice thing to do on a date. You know, so it's like Chevrolet for the lady, and you go, all right, I'll buy you a Chevrolet. It's car salesmen doing it, but they just, they go around with a basket full of car keys. Pulling a big Chevrolet behind you.

Like that. Oh no, the Chevrolet salesman's coming down. Don't go back on take with him. He's moving, but you're dragging it through the restaurant. Tables are being pushed out of the way. Then we have triple-edge swords. And obviously not everybody's into that, as I am. But what I've got in brackets, and I've also got knife knee,

is there. I think the knife knee, yeah, is that we've got, in brackets, I've got new sword technology. This could be, look, we often do board rooms of people coming up with new new new sort of technology I just thought what if it's you know It's set in the modern day But they're trying to come up with new medieval technology. Yeah, yeah, well, you know

I guess like they're always trying to because there's some classic things like like the yo-yo right which they're always trying to Re-launch the yo-yo because they want to get a yo-yo craze going in schools So they'll put lights in the yo-yo or whatever You know if like it just gets swords back in yeah, they're due a comeback'll put lots in the yoyo or whatever. It just gets swords back in. And then you would come back. Shoes in schools. Absolutely, swords in schools. But also there's a lot of medieval films that come out.

Yeah. And people are always trying to revolutionize those by making them more exciting. And so somebody who has a rigid, thin sword that is like a triple or infinite edge sword, I guess if it's a circle that is just very thin like a piano wire Yes, like that because a circle doesn't have any edges or tangents or anything like that. It's a it would be an infinite edge sword But also which sounds great. Yeah. I was just gonna say that Elon Musk as we were discussing with knife. Yeah

Well eventually he's either gonna get us out out of this matrix or let us you know escape through time. So I think it's important to be prepared for when we can go back to medieval times and really fuck them up. Absolutely. So I think knife knife knees is the is the way to go. Knife knee as in like the haircut the hair cutting automated thing or or this abandoned abandoning. Bring them back bring back the hair cutting automated thing. Okay. To many evil times so that it's always existed then. And then maybe we can develop it further. If you implant this idea back in medieval time, then eventually it will become something that makes sense.

Imagine how advanced that technology would be now of pulling people through legs and having their hair cut. Maybe other things could be achieved. While we're doing it, let's send the Beatles back to the 1840s and see where music would have got to by now. Yes Where were the yeah, sorry, I got too excited All right, that's an exciting idea We got the internet tribunal Which you know there could be many tribunals for each sort of area of the internet there could be a Facebook tribunal, Twitter tribunal, things like that. Maybe at some point somebody says, you're out of your god damn.

What's that thing you say if it cops when you're there, you're out of your jurisdiction tribunal. Yeah, you know if they try to get involved in a Yahoo answer thing or something. Get out of here, judge. People are really mean to the judges. But I guess people are mean to everybody on the internet, so that's why we do. And then you get banished to my space. Oh no, no, take him away.

Take him away. I think that's just a nice place with music now. It would just be like, get banished to just, oh this is not a shit. Yeah, but you're irrelevant. You're irrelevant, but you're a relevant, but you get to listen to Nox music. So that's another world, that's another world you can go to.

And then we have the maleding of brick fast food chain, which is one of the greatest ideas we've ever come up with. Honestly. Um, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm,

mmm, mmm, mmm, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, I hear you have a presence online. Many presences. You can hear me on Instagram, a machine with Chris Kenneth, where we talk about the internet. That is a podcast. It's a podcast. You can also hear me on friendship mates with Jack Drew's. That is a podcast. That is a podcast.

That is great. I wish I could keep doing podcast. Yes, it is. We helped you out last time. I've got to listen. You've got to listen so that you have some help. And then we also have a YouTube show called Finding the Point where we find the point of different video games. Like the Tony Hawk where we discovered he deserved death.

See? That is important. Does he seek death or does he just deserve it? No, he just deserves it. No one's seeking it. No, he just needs it. Well, he looks like he is seeking it a little bit. He's certainly taunting it. Yeah. It's not wearing a helmet. That is definitely the starting point. That is a real death tease. But thank you guys for having me. Thank you so much. So, the real being on the podcast. And you are at Beckness on Twitter? Yes.

And at Beckness on Instagram? No. No, no, no, son. That's some woman in America who stole my hand. B-E-C-N-E-S-S. Yes. All right, she's an internet celebrity. And I'm stupid old Andy.

Alistair is at Alistair TV. We are two in tank. Planet Broadcasting is the network that we are a part of. And we love you. This podcast is part of the Planet Broadcasting Network. Visit planetbcasting.com for more podcasts from our great mates. I mean, if you want, it's up to you. A Kia SUV is capable of taking you far,

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