Two In The Think Tank - 93 - "NO IDEAS MAN"

Episode Date: August 22, 2017

Before and Aftercast, Knock Off Cinema Club, Grain of Salt Lake City, One Band Man, Got Nothing Thanks for MVMT watches for supporting this episode! Visit mvmt.com/thinktank for 15% OFF and FREE SHIPPING and FREE RETURNS on STYLISH AND AFFORDABLE WATCHES Two in the Think Tank is a part of the Planet Broadcasting family  You can find us on twitter at @twointank Andy Matthews: @stupidoldandy Alasdair Tremblay-Birchall: @alasdairtb And you can find us on the Facebook right here Thanks to George Matthews for producing Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hi icons, it's Danny Pellegrino from the Pop Culture Podcast, everything iconic, and I love Nordstrom. No place better to shop, particularly during the holiday season, because they have everything. They have holiday decor at Nordstrom. They have cozy cardigans from Barefoot Dreams, my fave. They have cold weather attire, party attire, plus free shipping and free returns. Free store pickup, you can also purchase a recycled fabric gift bag so your item arrives festive and wrapped. So check out Nordstrom this holiday season, a one-stop shop. You can explore more at Nordstrom in store or online at Nordstrom.com.

This podcast is part of the Planet Broadcasting Network. Visit PlanetBcasting.com for more podcasts from our great mates. Alistair, it's a very exciting time for the podcast. Is it being sponsored by somebody today? Yes, we're being sponsored by somebody today. So get ready. Yeah. Because we are being sponsored by movement watches. Movement watches, MVMT movement.

They know about time, they know about good use of time, and they know that VALS, a dead time. VAL time is dead time. You know, you like rent money is dead money. VAL time is dead time, okay? And you trust a company, a watch company that looks at the inside of a word that takes out the bits that aren't useful. Absolutely. You know Uber did it.

Yep. They took out the other word letters that were in there. I just fucked this up. No you're doing great. They took out Uber took out all the stuff in the traditional cab model that wasn't working. Like the workers' entitlements, okay? The safety standards for the passengers, okay? And this is like that, but with watches and with taking out stuff that you don't need. Yeah, and like unpleasantness.

Absolutely. And tell you what, since I got my, I got a gold watch with a black face. I think there was such a bold choice, by the way. No. Like you chose the one watch that I think that they put on the website just to like, just to profile people.

No, absolutely. And I got profiled as a winner. And tell you what, since I've been wearing it, they've been complimented, people have been complimented me left, right, and center, mostly on my watch, but also sometimes on my punctuality, but then also sometimes on my child. And when you say left, right, and center,

you mean of the political spectrum? Absolutely. All sides. I've got alt, right, people. I've got extreme left wing people. And I've got centrests, real, like almost extremist centrist. Centrests, who say, they'll come up to you and they say,

I normally don't take a position on anything, but for this watch, you've inspired me. Yeah, that's good. To compliment. Hey, if you wanna, I've come up with a slogan for movement watches, right? It's do something good for your wrist, okay? That's Great, right? Do something good for your wrist. Oh, that's good. And so do something good for your wrist today.

Get 15% off with free shipping and free returns by going to mvmt.com slash think tank. Okay? Mvmt.com slash think tank. This watch has a really clean design, okay? Yeah. It's, I'm wearing one right now, and you know, it doesn't feel heavy, but it's a nice big, big, visible face on the watch. I haven't got it set to the right time. Oh, it doesn't matter. You, you look 10 years more wise.

There you go. I've got it set to the right time, but 10 years in the future. Well, because that's just what it makes it look. You carry yourself better. Thank you. I think maybe you have your body might have just been off-weighted in some way. So now is the time to step up your watch game, Elis. Do something good for your wrist. Go to mvmt.com slash think tank to join the movement. Today, booyah, gush, gush, gush, gush, gush, gush, gush, gush, gush, gush, gush, gush, gush, gush, gush, gush, gush, gush, gush, gush, gush, gush, gush, gush, gush, gush, gush, gush, gush, gush, gush, gush, gush, gush, gush, gush, gush, gush, gush, gush, gush, gush, gush, gush, gush, gush, gush, gush, gush, gush, gush, gush, gush, gush, gush, gush, gush, gush, gush, gush, gush, gush, gush, gush, gush, gush, gush, gush, gush, gush, gush, gush, gush, gush, gush, gush, gush, gush, gush, gush, gush, gush, gush, gush, gush, gush, gush, gush, gush, gush, gush, gush, gush, gush, gush, gush, gush, gush, gush, gush, gush, gush, gush, gush, gush, gush, gush, gush, gush, gush, gush, gush, gush, gush, gush, gush, gush, gush, gush, gush, gush, gush, gush, gush, gush, gush, gush, gush, gush, gush, gush, gush, gush, gush, gush, gush, gush, gush, gush, gush, gush, gush, g very much. I'm sure you aren't listening very much. Just listening a little bit. Absolutely. You just have this on in the background.

Some people only hear, but other people listen. I saw on some podcasts on Spotify, right? I saw some podcasts on Spotify, and they had a selection of podcasts under the category of podcasts to go to sleep to. Yeah, right. And I looked at the podcast in there, and they weren't specifically sleep-based podcasts. They were just people's podcasts that someone at Spotify has decided to have a real bloody snooze fest.

Right, well maybe the people have tagged their own podcasts as this is a great way to get some extra listeners with who aren't paying attention. I mean, that's non-conscious listener. He goes like, he goes like, look man, that'll still count as one listen on my stats. Man, it makes sense. He'll take it, he'll take it.

Well, he can sell that to advertisers maybe. Are you getting money from Spotify? If you've got people listening to your podcast on Spotify? I'm not 100% sure. Are you, you're still getting your money from your ads, though? And those ads are going into the unconscious brain of a person, which is like that episode of Friends where Chandler listens to the motivation tape. There's a strong, there's a strong confident woman who does not need to smoke.

Yeah. Probably one of the funniest, I would say. Could it be any funnier? I don't think so, Alistair. Yeah. Um, it was, it was so funny because he came out of the show and he had a towel wrapped around his head. I know.

Like a woman does. That's what a woman would do. But oh, sorry. And for those listeners who haven't seen friends, Chandler Bing is a man. Anyway, they'll be laughing at home, just thinking about that. Oh yeah, no, look, I mean,

I think coming up with five sketch ideas is all very well, but we can do a cover every now and then and revisit some of the classic. And that is a classic. Yeah, we can come up with five great moments in friends. I mean, we've done the wrong podcast. That would really take off. Yeah, yeah.

And it could literally go forever. Cause there is an infinite number of five funny moments from friends. An infinite number, I guess. Yeah, there's five infinities of funny moments from friends. An infinite number, I guess. Yeah, there's five infinities of funny moments from friends. I think that there's enough. Like, I think that you could probably do one, even one episode for at least 20,

you could get 20 episodes out of one episode. Probably. Do you think? Yeah, yeah. With five bits, I mean, they good show, they're good episodes. Yeah, you know, and they're dense. I mean, if one of, I mean, I'd be happy. Yeah, and they're dense. I mean, I'd be happy if one of our sketch ideas

was an episode of Friends. Could you do that an episode of Friends in the form of a sketch? How would it be different? Could you do a podcast that is based on this podcast, but that is five funny moments from each one of the sketches that we come up with Just saying LSD wait so we do we do a podcast. No, we don't okay somebody else does somebody else

One of the cast members for friends. Yes Give me wait so when when you said that I made a confuse But were were there any people from friends involved initially when you mentioned this? There's no people from friends involved. Okay. So it's just somebody does a podcast about two and a think tank. Yes. But they do five, for each sketch, they do an episode where they talk about their five favorite moments from that sketch idea.

Okay. That's cool. Right. That means that there are five times as many episodes of that podcast as there are of this podcast. Yeah. I mean, and are they imagining some of the sketch, like some of the moments in the sketches

that we didn't come up with? No, no, no. So does that mean that for every sketch I did that we come up with, we have to actually start coming up with more moments? No, that it's on them to find the humor in them. Yeah. You see, there's too much work being done by us.

That's true. And not enough work being done by us. That's true. And not enough work being done by the listener. By someone else. Listening up until this point has just been far too passive and activity, right? Like if you want, you know, I'm picturing this, you know, this is an idea for like a TV show that's been running for quite a while, right?

But they've, they're worried now that the audience isn't as engaged as they should be. They're doing all this work and they're like, well, what they're worried now that the audience isn't as engaged as they should be. They're doing all this work, and they're like, well, what is the audience doing? So if you want to watch the show, okay, you've got to write us a report on each episode and discuss your favorite bits.

I guess it's a bit like that saying that I might have started this thing with, which is, you know, some people only hear whereas others listen. Whereas others make a podcast about their five favorite moments of one aspect of this thing that they just heard. Which is the highest, that's the new highest form of flattery. It used to be imitation, but now it's interpolation. So now if somebody just imitates your podcast,

that is copy, there's copyright issues there. Yeah, if you do a short, for short remake of Two In The Thing Tank, with newer, more hip actors. But you know what? I'd listen to that. I want to see what their twist is on it. That's true. Like, you Gus Van Sant this this shit. Yeah. He did that with psycho. Was it was it Gus Van Sant who did the remake of psycho? I thought I was gonna be able to get out of this without without mentioning that I don't know

who Gus Van Sant is. Oh wow look it's okay Alistair. I've gone into it making it pretty clear. I don't have a very strong idea who he is. So, you know, there's, there's, could we, could we make a podcast series in some way that is ripping off movies and TV shows and things like that in some way that is us doing a cover of them. Yes. But without, like, like, could we, could we watch a movie together? And then come back and sort of just recreate the movie in podcast form? Just based on our recollection? Based on our recollection.

I think that's quite funny. So let's say we go and we watch Baby Driver together. Yes. Which either of us have seen. And I believe that you haven't even read the synopsis. And let's say that's how fresh I am coming to this. I haven't even ruined it for myself yet. Okay. And so then and then we come in and we go get in the car. We gotta do this, we gotta do this, heist!

We gotta do this heist! Okay, wait, this is what we do, right? Yes. We record, it's a podcast series where... It's like those songs that were like the Beatles sounds like the Beatles, right? But this sounds like Baby Driver, the movie. Yeah. I know we've kind of done an idea that's a bit like this.

Yes. But what we use. Well, no, I didn't know what the sounds like the Beatles was. Don't worry. But we record, like, however long it takes for us to record what we think our version of Baby Driver is. Yes. But first, we do one before we watch it. OK. And so we do. We record our version of baby drivers. But first we do one before we watch it. And so we do, we record

our version of what we think it's going to be. And then afterwards we come back and we do our interpretation of what baby driver was. I mean, that sounds like it could be brilliant. right? I'm gonna point out the flaws because I don't know if you're aware that they're in there. If you can find any flaws in that, I would be happy to hear them. Okay, you've got the limitation of what you're describing in the first instance is us improvising an entire movie. Yeah. Okay.

With a suggestion, can I get a suggestion from a movie poster? Yeah. Any suggestion? Baby driver? Okay. Here we go. And then we improvise, I'll think. So, or, or we have scripted the entire movie. Yeah. Right? We've sat down and we've written baby driver. Yeah. Which is like a lot more work, but I'm gonna say by virtue of how difficult it already was, no more or less possible. Yeah, but I think that we're just gonna improvise it. We're not gonna put in a ton of work to structure or script and things like that.

It can go for 20 minutes. Okay. It can go for 20 minutes. We don't have to do the whole movie. If it ends up taking an hour and a half, sure, or three hours. Yes. Okay. I think that's fine. It's just what we think the film will be, right? But it's also, you know, to a certain extent, you just have to up the scale, you know, the audience will up the scale in their brain. They'll know, even if it was 20 minutes they go, yeah, that but an hour and a half. Sure. Right. And then when we come back, we'll, we'll do however long it takes to get through what we remember from the movie. Okay. Look, that could be something

it, it sounds like more difficult to me than say like you and I making a podcast about our literal Journey to Mars, but I'm writing this down But you write it down, Alistair. You write it down. You get it out of your head Okay, it's like one of the one of the big things that you're you're sort of Oh stepping over is my dislike of improv. And I think you're, you don't mind improv, but I don't think you love it. Right? It's not your chosen form.

So we're both also in a form that we're not comfortable in. I know, but I think it's not just improv because I think it's, you're aiming at something. It's closer to darts than it is to improv. You're trying to make something that is like something else and you're trying to You're actually like there there are forms that that have been Made by like you know Hollywood that yeah, you know You're you can you're also kind of making fun of something, but you're also you know Yeah, look it's it's more of a dark game Andy Okay, so what I was saying with sounds like the Beatles,

is like when you would get a cassette tape, and they would play it sometimes in shops or something like that, it's a music that has been done in the style of the Beatles, but that is royalty-free, okay, so that you can just play it, and it's like you're listening to the Beatles, except it's not the Beatles. Right, so what I was suggesting was a thing that was like where we make versions of movies that are royalty-free versions of movies, that if you want to have them sort of ambient somewhere or you want to use them, it's baby driver, it's James Bond, you know, big property like

James Bond, but it's just, it seems like James Bond. There's not the expensive, like, sort of royalty, like, royalties to play it in this. Yeah, the intellectual property of, you know, yeah. So you could go, there's a cinema you can go to, right? That's, that you got your hoits, right? And then next to that, there's another hoits, right? But if you look closely, you can see that the OO in this hoiets is a Q, right?

This is actually Hukquits. Hukquits and it's just a die bar. Yeah, and you can watch seams like versions of all the movies that are currently playing at hoiets. Okay. They're all knockoffs. So it's James Bond, but if you look closely, you'll see that the O in Bond is also a queue. Look, this is how I think let's say Titanic, right? So opening scene.

But if you look closely, the little circle above the eye in Titanic. Oh, slap somebody behind the head. I'm a, I'm a merchant and like I'm running and I'm going and I'm running into a building and and oh, we're all playing cards. Hey, who's that just there? It's a guy. We're in a we're gonna set a swimney cheap Swimney cheap chimney sweet. Chimney sweets. But the swimming in shape in this movie. Oh, he's just he's just beat this rich person At cards and oh, okay, let's run into the oh look the boats about to leave. There's a big boat Let's run into it like that. Okay here Oh, tickets, please I'm the man. Oh No, no, no, no, we can't let anybody else in hey, hey mister you gotta let us in I got these tickets

Okay, quick get in there poor kid. Oh Chukka, chukka, chukka, chukka, chukka, chukka, chukka, chukka. Oh, I got my nipples out. There you go. Say it'll be kind of like that. But maybe like, I think over time, we would get better at doing it. So this is your, this is back to your one, right? This is your, your, this is us in person.

This is us doing Titanic. By the way, so thank you for contributing so much to that. I haven't seen Titanic. So I was doing the first version before we've seen it. Were you doing the second version? I was in the second. I've seen it. Yeah, I've seen it a couple of times.

But then let it sort of fade away slightly after about 15 years. OK, so well, that's interesting then, because maybe we have to come back every 10 years and do another version of Titanic based on what we recall from the last time we saw it. I think that would be a real exercise in sort of people becoming aware of their own mortality and the limits of their own brain and things like that. Because you think that you're getting through life remembering a lot, but I think there's like, when you think about your childhood,

let's say you think about kindergarten that you went to, right? You have an image that comes up, but I find that there's rarely anything more than that image in terms of memories from those places. You might be able to get like I said a short three second video from any kind of little moments, but there's not much more than that. And like when you think about that, I think I went to one babysitter for about three years. I've got roughly a six second. I've basically got a vine. I think I'm exactly the same.

I used to go to K, her daycare. Never called it KCare, missed opportunity, if you ask me. The only thing I remember from that was one time she gave us little finger puppets that were chickens. And that's probably probably our six second memory. So, yeah. So, you know, live in the moment, really make the most of it, and then record all the podcasts you want to record, you know, because that's the only way that you'll capture time.

This is the only thing that lasts is podcasts. Is your interpretations of movies that you do on podcasts? Okay, I'm pitching this as an actual sketch idea now Okay, it's next to your hoist. There is a little dive bar right as a guy in there who just acts out the synopsis from Wikipedia pages Right you can go in act it out or he reads it out or something. He sits on a stool And he so you you there's a big big big screw big movie big tent pole movie playing. Yeah, all right There's matrix. Yeah, okay? You could pay the $17 to get a ticket to the Matrix or you can go next door.

Two bucks, Jeff will read you out the synopsis from Wikipedia. And so, that'll be easier in terms of plagiarizing the movie because they can't stop a guy from going in there with a pen and paper and taking down notes. He's taking down notes. He's not filming the screen, right? He's just noting it down.

He's just, you know, it's interpretation like that. You can't... It's like, like occasionally he'll have done a little sketch of what the expression on somebody's face looks like. All right, and so Jeff at the dive bar will do the expression and he was very sad and he sort of looked like this. Yeah, that's good. Okay, wait, so dive for.

And also, it's over in probably like a maximum, I'm going to say, 15 minutes, okay, so that's more of your life you get. Yep. And, you know, he's got drinks there and stuff. He's probably got like cheap chalk tops. Yeah, it's, well, I think everything will be cheap. Everything will be cheap. Because it's the whole cinematic experience that has become way too expensive.

Yes. Maybe it's even a little, a little wheely booth, right? It's just like a little concession stand thing. And he wheels up onto the pavement outside the cinema. And he's got a little thing that, so you can go and sit in there, maybe two of you can sit in there. And then he'll poke his head through or curtain. Yeah.

And he'll give you the full experience. Well, the full one, but for in about 15, 20 minutes. Yeah. You know, and he'll, I think maybe if he just had the sort of those, those, those, those kernels at the bottom of the popcorn bag. He just had you like a pretty much empty thing of popcorn. So there's maybe two little bits that you can still get out of it. It's the ones that are, they're not popped.

There's half popped, but then there's also the ones that are not really popped, but they're soft enough that you can break them with your teeth. Yeah. But he's, you know, and just really out of the good will of his heart, he's got rid of the ones that are too hard that will hurt your teeth. You know, and that's, yeah, and that's how you know this guy cares. He does care. He cares about your experience. Man, popcorn, talk about diminishing returns.

Like I reckon popcorn starts out real good and just ends up so, so grim and unpleasant. I reckon popcorn starts out real good and just ends up so so grim and unpleasant and then you got it stuck in how you feel yeah, yeah, how you feel if you get lip burn from the salt Oh the lip burn. Yeah, that's how you that's how roads must feel in sort of instead of countries where it's Knows cities where it's knows You know you put the you put all that salt on the road. On the road, so you don't slip. But if you, after eating popcorn,

if you were to drive a few cars, if you don't have a rally driving, kind of... Drive across your lips. Just, it would be, it would be like real. It would be, anyway, good grip. It'd be the best place to probably do a a landspeed record, maybe. You reckon you could grip that lip. You could grip the lip. Yeah, absolutely. If there were sort of, if there were sort of looking for places to do

landspeed records for say like nano cars. Nano cars. Right. And they didn't want to have to like build something new. Just get a guy who's just been seen Rocky III. Yeah, we've got the big container. We've got the big container. Comes out, swollen, feels awful, makes a few bucks from these scientists who were trying to test out their nano vehicles. It's, those lips are like the micro, the nano version of like Lake Air, like a flat salt

lake. You get them in Nevada as well, I think, do you like, you get big salt lakes? That's what I would hope so. Yeah. I mean, I guess anywhere where at some point there was ocean water there, that's what it was. Imagine Utah might have a salt lake. Utah?

It's a low salt lake city. Oh yeah, salt lake city. But maybe it's not a salt flat. Maybe it's just a salty lake. Could have been one of those salty mountains, sort of a, like, maybe, maybe the, maybe it was like a, like a, I saw that.

I think it's an ironic name, salt lake city. You think they've actually got a really salty mountain and they just named it like you call it Red-headed person Bluey Maybe I mean I guess salt it doesn't seem that ironic because it's still salty. Yeah, well Maybe if they had like a sort of a sugar mountain They had a sugar mountain rather than a salt lake I guess I mean I've never been the salt Lake City that could actually be a. I think is there a sketch in somebody telling them you know actually Salt Lake City it's actually

around it it's actually a sugar mountain. I think yeah I wonder if there's like a broader thing that can be done with it because it feels very specific. To Salt Lake City? Yeah. Yeah I mean do you think people outside of Salt Lake City would get it? If anything I think people inside Salt Lake City would get it? If anything, I think people inside Salt Lake City are the people who would hate it the most.

Could be. Yeah. I just, I just, I just think that like I'm trying to picture the duration of this sketch. Yeah. You know, all the time in my mind, I'll try and like just not just chuck down a number next to it in my mind, to indicate like how long could we hold people's attention with this? down a number next to it in my mind, and I need to indicate like how long could we hold people's attention with this? And I'm really struggling to see how this, the sugar mountain salt like city sketch. Sure. I mean, but like, what if you picture it like, you know, just for ease, do you mind, you don't mind me making this easier? Hey, Alistair, please. Could we could, could we imagine it in the broader it was it was not a stand-alone sack a sketch. It wasn't it's not sex stand-alone sex either. Stand-alone sex is like, you know, that's fine. Just don't.

What mean standing alone having sex? Just in your in your house. In your house. Don't do it at Ledy Sugar Mountain. There's a lot of religious people there Yes Um, so wait, I just to make it simpler. Sorry. I'm driving a car around the place. No, go. I'm swerving around like a nano car on some salt lips Just picture it as part of like a it's it's somewhere in between, it's in a movie and we've come from something, it's just a conversation with a man and then we move on to something else. We don't have to write the movie at the moment. I mean, without having written it, I couldn't provide the movie.

So what you describe with your Alistair is a moment. Yeah, it's a moment. But you know, let's say, let's say, let's say humor a moment. Yeah, it's a moment. But, you know, let's say, what's the humorous moment? Monty Python, Monty Python's, let's say, Life of Ryan, is just a series of funny moments. Right. You know, that's what I mean, that's what life, but also funny movies is.

It's just a series of funny moments. I'm telling you, there's a series of funny moments. And what is another word for a funny moment Andy? It's a fucking sketch. You're right. Yeah. You're absolutely right. And I don't think science has yet found the shortest possible length of a sketch.

No, absolutely not. No. Right. I guess a sketch is really like it can be pretty much any joke where you're not looking directly at the camera Right if you just pretend you're talking to somebody else. Yeah, maybe you have somebody else standing there Well, that is just a sketch. I like that already. Yeah, yeah, so I okay, so two people minimum in this sketch Yeah, um in any sketch. Yeah, so either either they've arrived at a Somebody's arrived at a mountain that seems to be sugary.

Right? And then somebody else is there and they say, that's Salt Lake City. Right? And then they kind of go into explaining why that is the case. Which is that it's ironic. Yeah, that it's ironic. Or they're in Salt Lake City and they notice... Or somebody's about to're in Salt Lake City and they notice,

or somebody's about to go to Salt Lake City. And then somebody goes, I'll say, you know, it's actually not a Salt Lake. It's a lot. Jesus, I tell you what, that second version of that is. Ooh, are you suggesting that maybe I shouldn't write this down. I look, I look, I've been fighting for this for so long. You have already written it down.

Like the, the, the way you describe that to be just then, some people are about to go, it's all like, like, there couldn't be less effort put into making this into anything. Okay, no, okay, well, I'll try, I'll try to color it in for you. No. Okay, so it's people they're talking about a cafe and it's a guy next to them who's over here's their conversation. You say, you're gonna salt Lake City, are you? You know, it's not actually. It's just what's the eating.

He's got a box of cracker jacks He brought him from home He's brought him Alright I love this sketch Yeah okay You guys talking about salt like sitting? Never been? No we've never been

Fun fact it's actually not a salt like What is it? I'm like, fun fact. It's actually not assault like. What is it? Sugar mountain. Really? How does that work? Sugar mountain. Like, you know, you find like salt deposits around the place.

Huge sugar deposit. Actually, it's a funny thing actually. It came from a bunch of fruit falling. It was on the mountain, fruit fell. But because of the extreme warmth, it actually didn't have time to ferment and sort of rot. Just everything that wasn't the sugar evaporated. On this mountain and crystalized and made this beautiful mountain. And then when somebody arrived there, possibly John Smith, was that's where John Smith found

Salt Lake City. Anyway, he thought as a joke, he would Smith found Salt Lake City. Anyway, he thought as a joke, he would call it Salt Lake City. Actually, he called the Salt Lake City because first of all, it was a bit of a joke. But then also, you know that part where you've got a salt container and a sugar container and they're not labeled properly

and you accidentally put salt in your coffee. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He thought that's hilarious when that happened. He thought it would be really funny if somebody came. But he also thought that that's really mean spirited. So instead of tricking people into thinking this salt lake is actually a sugar lake, I thought I'll trick people into thinking

this sugar mountain is a sugar lake. I thought I'll trick people into thinking this sugar mountain is a salt lake. Anyway, see you later. Alistair, I absolute full credit to you. Okay. You made so much more nothing out of that nothing that I ever thought was in there. You know, like it's all very well to make something out of nothing. But if you could take nothing and just stretch it out. Man, look, I mean, I guess this would also be making you believe a little bit more in my interpretation of movie's podcast. And how far I could take no knowledge of anything that's ever happened in that film.

No, look, I can see something in your salt lake sugar man. And, you know, good work. But, you know, should we apologize to the listeners for putting them through that? Well, I think we is a strong word. Yeah, okay, well that's good. Hey, I'll tell you what we can tell the listeners. What can we tell the listeners about, maybe? We can tell the listeners about movement watches.

I'm wearing one right now, and since I got this, you know how that little sticky plastic thing that comes over shiny surfaces to not, I've had this for like three weeks to not get damaged. I still haven't peeled that off. Oh, that's the sign of somebody who cares about a watch. I don't know why it is, honestly. Or hates peeling things off of things.

I love peeling things off of things. It's probably my favorite. Are you trying to protect this watch? Why should you be trying to protect this watch? I just want to keep it safe. But I mean, that must be a really expensive watch then. You know what, Alistair? It's not.

You know, in a department store, you might pay $400, $500 for a stylish designer watch like this. Real minimalist face, nice leather band. Big solid clasp there. Look at that clasp. Oh yeah, there's a solid clasp. The only way you get break that off is with one of those things that thieves use to break bike locks. Yeah, you can come in there with one of those things.

Yeah, that's the only way that I get that watch off your wrist. This isn't going anywhere. No. All right. Well, they have to cut my wrist off with a hacksaw. I would rather cut your wrist off than cut through that beautiful watch. But this, the movement watches, they start at just $95. Really?

$95.00 and Alistair, but they don't start at $95 for you, sir. Why? Why? Because with the offer code, think tank, you can get 15% off today. Is that free shipping and free returns? Oh wow, free returns. By going to MVMT.com slash think tank, okay? Let's create the movement.

Do something good for your wrist. I want to. I only usually do bad things for my wrist, carpal tunnel. I think once I got carpal tunnel from holding my phone above my head in bed and just using it too long. And I was unemployed at the time and so I never left my bed.

And so then I just never stopped hurting my wrist. And then it was just kind of hurt constant. It was just like a constant hum. But like in your wrist, and of pine. Yeah, so it wasn't like I had someone like singing near me sort of internally. Nobody calls humming internal singing. And I think and they should because you know lips, if we can go back to lips for a second, they're really the only difference between a hum and a song.

Absolutely. And why not? Why is it that only the singer gets to do some of their music internally? Yes. Why couldn't the lips contain? Go on. What about internal drumming? You know, what about internal bass playing? It's the humming of clarinet playing, you know.

So it's somebody who, let's say, has a clarinet. Yes, that would be a good starting point. And this is, it's way better than bass. Yeah, it's way better than a full bass guitar. But you would adapt a bass guitar to be playable within the body. Right? But let's say a clarinet, maybe a piccolo. Let's start with a piccolo so that you, who doesn't have much of an imagination,

could picture it. What about a harmonica? Andy, please allow me just to have the piccolo. Okay, you got the piccolo. The piccolo isn't either in your mouth or in your throat. Right? And you're sucking in. You're sucking in through your mouth.

You ever breathe in? I do it all the time. It's as simple as that. Probably one of my top two things that I'm doing. What's your, what's your first breath in out? All right, yeah. What about heart beating? You wouldn't put that in your top two things.

Breathe in and out. Okay. Well, it's not gonna be heart beats and breathing in, right? That's not a complete package. I know, but it doesn't mean that the things that are outside of your top two don't get done. I'll let you on a busy day.

Sometimes I don't make it past the top two. Okay. I guess the heart beating isn't really your responsibility. Breathing is in your control. Within my control. Okay, so you're suggesting that I get a piccolo flute installed inside my throat. Is this some kind of new cyborg? Everyone's talking about we're getting chips in our hands so we can pay for things and

open doors and track our blood pressure. Like, this is a step in human machine transhumanism. You're saying, well, why can't we have a clarinet in our throat? Well, yeah, but it's much in the way that you're talking about. It's new technology and things like that, but this is new frontiers and humming. Okay.

You know, the hum has really stopped at the vocals. Yeah, right. And you can't spell human without hum. And it's really, it's what makes us. Absolutely. We're three fifths hum. We're three fifths hum. And so why not broaden the hum?

Because that would be broadening who we are. And so if you could just play a piccolo internally, I'm not even going to write this down because there's no. At Nordstrom, you can shop the best holiday gifts for everyone you love, all in one place. You'll find beauty favorites, cozy presents, fun ideas under 100 and more. Like festive dressing for you in your home.

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a drum kit with is a soft, I guess. It feels like the mouth is the perfect place, like it was built for reverberation. Yes, you've got your little echo chamber there, your little, you know. Yeah, you've got that section in your, in your sort of sinuses and things like that, where you get that extra reverberation,

but it's not big enough to bounce around and disturb, you know, its own sound waves. Is it Bobby Womack? Is that the guy who does it? Who does, don't worry, be happy is it? Bobby McFarrant. Bobby McFarrant, right? So, he uses, you know, he does some things where it's like slapping the chest and just cavity stuff. But, right, if he wanted to take it to the next level and just get like, you know, extra cavities stretched

and spread out inside his throat and nasal passage. Roll elbow. Get some skins like so in there, get some tensioning rods and maybe a symbol or two up in the sinuses. Yeah, I reckon you could fit a little crash symbol. Get a full kit in there. Somewhere in the inner ear canal. Oh, there's already little things like you just shake your head. You know, like your ear is basically a drum.

It's an ear drum. That little stirrup and those little bones, that looks like a kick pedal to me. See, this is what I'm sick of is seeing a God damn one man band and he's got all this equipment on outside of his body. Right. What I'm sick of, is seeing a goddamn one-man band, and he's got all this equipment on outside of his body. Right. What I'm seeing is one man and a whole lot of instruments. I want to see one man... BANG! All right, what can we get in here? I already said the Throdo Bo. I mean, I look at the stomach.

Basically, I see at the stomach. Yeah. You know, basically I see a bag pipe. Yeah. Right. I mean, just without the, I see a bag. I see a bag. A yearning for a pipe. I mean, yeah, I would like, just to simplify things,

I mean, you could, you could already make the lungs or a perfect bag pipe. No, no, no, I need those to power the wind organ. Oh, of course, yeah, yeah, I apologize for saying that. If you, I feel like there's something that you could do with some of your tendons. If you could just replace some of your tendons with sort of steel strings.

Yes. You know, instead of these kind of crappy, like, smushy, it kind of looks like the kind of thing that you would find in a barbecue chicken or something like that. You know, give her that. You're not going to get good acoustics out of that. I wonder why it seems like something you'd find in a barbecue chicken.

These things that you find on the inside of your body, they seem like something you would find on the inside of a body. No, but no, I think the reason why is because I believe chickens do eat man. No, well that was stupid. And should we start with this? Alistair, I think against my better judgment, I think there is an idea in somebody having a wanting to be a one man band and getting a whole lot

of instruments installed in different parts of their body. But if you don't feel comfortable, we need to add. I'm okay with doing it. But I think we need to go deeper then. Okay, deeper. Yeah. So, because like, how is he actually going to do this? Well, he's going to see a specialist, I suppose.

You know, like, you go along to a plastic surgeon, right? And you say, I have a challenge for you. And you say, I want to be, I've always felt like I have music in me, but I want to actually have music in me. I've got the music in me. I got the rhythm in me. And it would be nice if it kind of just happened. Like, I think there's a part of me that wants the music to just kind of happen, but I think

you would have to play his own body. Maybe this is somebody who was, their partner left them because they said, you just got no music in you, you know? Yeah, right. You got no music in your soul, you just got, and then he's like, hold, shut up. Do you think she was at the conservatory? She was sort of studying at the conservatory. Yes, you know. Right,. She's a musical genius.

Yeah, and he and that's everything for her. And he's an engineer. He's an engineer. Yeah. And then he goes to the goes to the, um, goes to the big, what do they call that, drawing board, right? And we see him sketching away. Sure, yeah, so it's like through the night, right? Yeah, he's really taken this to heart. And then we see him go into the plastic surgery, place, and he rolls out his blue prints, and it's a man, right, turned into a full orchestra. Yeah, that's beautiful. So he's going sort of like chamber music. Yeah. So yeah, I think you could make maybe your whole stomach, you could tighten that skin up, make it a timpani. Absolutely. Yeah.

Hollow it out a little bit, so he goes, you're going to have to have it. You're going to have to have it so you can get two tones. Yeah. Yeah. And then he, this happens to him, right? And he's all stitched up and... Is he disgusting? He's disgusting, right? But they peel off the bandage, right? Well, he's in his hospital bed and they get a little

little when I was little little little sticks. There's things that he used to test the reflexes right and they tap it on his like I guess his temple or something and it's just like a perfect you know middle sea. And it sounds like a steel drum. Oh you can get your fingers all like marimba, marimba keys. Your fingers are marimba keys. Oh, that's beautiful instrument. Yeah. And then just by slapping your fingers together, you got a whole marimba. And when he just, when he walks normally, he sounds like an orchestra tuning up. Yeah. And then he goes to his lover's door, his former lover's door, and she opens the door,

and she sees in there all bleeding. I guess he still looks like himself, but he's been sewn back together. And then he starts to twitch and dance, and it's the most beautiful thing she's ever heard. He rubs his legs together like I said. Like a cricket. Like a cricket. And he plays beautiful viola. I mean, Alistair, this is a sketch. Yeah.

Yeah, it is. It's fucked, but it's definitely something. And I quite like this Maverick plastic surgeon as well who's willing to take this on. And maybe they get someone else in as well, like do they work with a, or some instrument makers. Oh yeah, absolutely. Or maybe he goes to a plastic surgeon, they refuse to do it. And then he goes to an instrument maker

and they do it there, like at the bands or and stuff. It's like in person who. In the workshop. Maybe like a person who's part scientist. You know, one of those ones who can, you know, you know, like, because especially like if you're getting a like a violin put into your, like a reveal, a put into your like, I think maybe the thigh would be kind of have like you could get a good cavity in there, but you got to

do that thing like they, you know, they can now put in, you know, after you make a good quality viola, but the problem is you need to age it like these old, like these, you know, 300-year-old violas or violins or whatever, is that it's something within the mold and all that kind of stuff that kind of helps the resonance in some way. The tombre. Yeah, the tombre, the timber, the timbre, timbre, timbre, timbre. It's written like timbre, something like timbre. Is it Tampa? Yeah, I think it might be tamber. I'd be saying Tom. Yeah, I mean that sounds better. I mean that That sounds like the best English ever heard. Anyway, you got to put like a but but I think that they what they found is that they people can just like you can just

Chemical engineer like micro Or bioengineer put it just put it in there and then you can get it basically as good as sound as like a three million The best violin and so that guy he'll start getting Microbes put all throughout his body like that all through his wins all through his wind instruments or like you know the Aztecs They used to make flutes out of people's thigh bones But they've been on this for years. This isn't you. If you could make...

If they could have done that without having to take out the thigh bone first, you believe they would have. You know what? They just didn't have the balls. They didn't have the guts and that's why they're all going down. A lot of people are saying this. Aztecs, cowards. Cowards, absolutely.

If you're an Aztec, I'm sorry, but you know, just know that you, like you may not currently be a coward, but you come from cowards. You know, to be honest, I think the Aztecs may have tried to at least play one part, like there must have been one time during the Aztec, the reign of the Aztecs, where they tried to play one living person as an instrument. Is an instrument, yeah, that probably did? Was Apocalypse about the Aztecs? Aztecs are minds. Mines could have been minds.

They've been minds. Yeah. Don't know. A lot of like, sort of a lot of like just pointless killing of people. That's what I could tell. Mm. Is that a sort of a key feature of empires? Well, you got to make sacrifices, Alistair.

America seems to do it a little bit, you know? I mean, I don't know if it's always pointless, but maybe from our perspective from the outside, it seems pointless. I think, is there a sketch about, about, this is so lame, Alistair. Right. But about that thing, you've got to make sacrifices. Right.

For, you know, if you want to make an omelette, you've got to crack a few eggs. Yeah, but literally the expression you have to make sacrifices. Yeah. Right. And then something in an Aztec context, right, where a leader is like, so there's a drought, right? And they come to the leader who commutes with the gods, right, and like, there's been no rain for 18 months.

Okay, the crops are drying, dying, people are hungry, what are we going to do? The leaders are like, well, we're going to have to make sacrifices, right? And so, and then we cut to later on, right? And they've just cut the, just bowed somebody on an altar on top of a thing. And he's like, no, I just met that everyone chipped in and just eat a bit less and just like share. He, yeah, the leaders just comes, just realizes what this what's happened. This is the lowest level of comedy.

No, but I reckon that, but because that feels to me, that would be exactly the kind of circumstance in which the Aztecs might do us a sacrifice. Yeah, well, I guess that was sort of the thing was that it was like, this is how this happened, right? Right, and the guy, yeah, okay, I don't want to look at it. This keeps happening. Like, if the reason why they've been doing sacrifices

that it's all been a huge mistake. Yeah, this is like, it's an expression, it's a figure of speech, right? This is, you did this last week when we, there weren't any fish in the river and I said, well, we're gonna have to murder a baby. And you're murdering a baby, it's a figure of speech. All right. You know what, I'm starting to think I got a reflect on my figures of speeches, that

murderer baby one. Nobody ever sees that. Nobody says that, nobody says that. I don't know. What are you reckon, El? I'm writing it down. Nobody ever sees that. Nobody says that, nobody says that. I don't know. What are you, what are you reckon, Al? I'm writing it down. We got a mic sacrifice as a list here. I think for some reason I was picturing it like,

you tell me. Well, I think maybe mine doesn't even make sense now. For some reason it may seem to make sense, but it was like, let's say it's said in the Aztec period, but if somebody's gonna start up, it's not like that, and you're like, oh, you're gonna run a small business like this, you gotta make sacrifices, you go, oh, do I?

Like that, but then he starts killing people. But then, where's the comedy there? Where's the steak? That's the perfect topic. I don't even feel such a joke in that one. But I guess then, the guys are like, oh no, I didn't mean like that. Yeah, is there a way, like, can we flip it so it's the other way?

So that it is somebody's like, you've got to make sacrifices. And they're thinking they're going to murder people. But instead, you know, Jeff just skips every second lunch or something like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. How can we heighten that to the point where that is an equivalent or a better joke because it's definitely more It's it's slightly more unexpected. Yeah, sure. So it's a guy I mean it could just be let's say it's set in modern day Sure today. I mean current day. Yeah, right?

It's a guy at an incubator Start up incubator. Yeah guy comes around. He's he has a startup and he's like, Oh, man, we haven't been we might have round eye funding. Yeah, you know, and you know, like and also we haven't been set of getting as many sales as much as as we wanted, you know, things like that. As many downloads. He's like, well, we know what you need to do in order to reach your, get that round-day funding and, you know, increase your sales is that you're going to make some sacrifices, small business, all about sacrifices. Right, this guy goes off and he works really hard and he starts, you know, he goes from

working eight hours a day to work in 15 hours a day. Right, he starts, he doesn't see his kids, he's got two kids, a boy and a girl. They're in the best years, so it's just probably like two to four or something like that. And he doesn't see them anymore. He's just because he's just working. He's like, oh, it's a relationship, it's a puzzle part. He's a relationship, it's a puzzle part. And he's always thinking about this, well, if I can get this business going, then I can

get my life going. Yeah, moves back in with his parents. You know, moves back in with his parents, you know moves back in with his parents You know and then he he stops launching. He's every day every moment waking mom He's on the phone trying to make deals and things like that. Yeah, and then you know Let's say a three-month later he goes back to the incubator It doesn't go into it doesn't even have time to go into the incubator Yeah, that's a secret sacrifice the one thing that brought him joy the incubator the incubator, you know Warm place where he could sort of be sad on for a little bit to keep warm for us the one thing that brought him joy, the incubator. The incubator, you know, a warm place

where he could sort of be sad on for a little bit to keep warm. And he goes and sees that, the girls. I don't know the startup hub. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

And he goes back to the place where the guys, you know, there and he goes, oh man, I mean, you know, you've been making sacrifices and he goes, yeah, I mean, I sacrificed everything for this company and yet still You know, we just we're still just not making meat and our targets, you know How many people you slaughter? You got to make sure their virgins, right? What I think I think maybe it's funny if it's a chicken This isn't funny if it's a slick at a sacrificing chicken, so the guy's in there.

Well, let me do it for you. It's like losing chickens or. Man, oh, look, I'm more interested in this guy who's just ruining his life. Yeah, then the whole sacrifice is pun. Yeah, you're right. Yeah, I mean, look, is there a sketch in the guy ruining his life for this startup?

Well, I think if his startup is a bad enough idea then yes Right, yeah or if it's like If he doesn't even have an idea yet Right like if he if he's done all of this and He still hasn't even like all he wants to have is an idea one idea for a startup Yeah He still hasn't even, like, only wants to have as an idea, one idea for a startup. And he's sacrificed everything and he still hasn't come up with an idea. But what if he's trying to, he's already trying to sell it.

Right. He's made an app and the moment the idea is just that I've got to make people think that this app does something. Right. And so that's because he hasn't come up with the app with what the app does. But he needs to raise money so that he can, you know, keep develop his idea and eventually, once he does figure out what he, what he wants the idea to be so that he can help pay more programmers to some right and things like that. So he's just got an app that people download and they do something and he's going to make them think that they're doing something. and he's gonna make them think that they're doing something. But I think, I don't know if even that's quite a weird,

conceptual thing to try and achieve. Like, is just the fact that he has no idea, right? And like his partner, right, who's like saying you've got to come home to the kids. So I was like, no, all right, you don't understand. This is going to be big. What is going to be big? Those kinds of questions aren't helping. Look, it could be anything.

Exactly. There's no limit, okay? You think about Google, limit, okay? You think about Google Facebook, okay? See how big they are right but that look at that idea that's such a nice simple idea It's not a big but what's it gonna do? Well, okay look where do they have to go? Where do they have to grow? First of all listen to this all right? You're being very limited Okay, in thinking that it needs to do something all right right, all the other apps are doing things, right? Well, that's why I'm moving, I'm zooming in the router. All right, it could do anything, all right.

Think of it as nothing. It could be a gray screen, right? That's not anything. Right, it's that gray screen, you know, like, you know, the frame of like a Windows window, right, you know,, just that gray bit that you can't touch, you can't use it to drag or drop anything, shit, it could just be that bit.

Nobody's using that bit. More of that. That's an eye-wrecking. People are too busy. I'm not gonna give something to people to do that it's just gonna make their lives worse. Okay, now obviously, like maybe that's not a good idea But that's why I haven't come up with an idea yet.

Alright, I'm still working on it. What is this in here? I'm going back into the workshop, I mean. I feel like so many of our ideas today have been absolutely nothing. And now we're trying to run a sketch of a better man who's got absolutely nothing. I think there is something in it guys got nothing, but I guess how do we change the stakes? So that... I mean, like he goes... Is he still going to all these launches and these pitch sessions and that sort of thing?

He's going into the shark tank and the dragon's den and he's talking about it, like about how good the idea is gonna be. I think the idea that he's attending all these things and he's talking to the guy who runs the seminar and he's like, and he's putting all of his money into this thing. And she's supporting him and like,

I think this, it's, maybe the reason why I kind of a bit into it is because I love the the idea of the person who's who's following the completely pointless dream of his his dream is just to have an app that revolutionizes the world right But he can't do that because he doesn't have the idea. But he's still chasing his dream. Just as hard. So that he knows what to do if he has the idea, but he just can't get past step one. Yeah, I like this guy. I like this. And I think it'll just be, it'll be very, very tragic. And there's not going to be a resolution other than probably him dying. Is he getting letter heads printed? Right.

But it's just blank paper coming through the printer. It could either be that or he's naming his company something broad enough that it could be anything. He's trying to keep everything super broad so that he gets sort out the details down the track. Yeah, you know, he's getting everything ready so that like, you know, he's created the shell of the app. Like he's chosen the colors. He's chosen the colors. He's chosen the name that's broad. He's got a great team That he's just that he's already kind of paying the team. Yeah, so that it's ready and they're just all waiting

He's been talking to angel investors about Yeah, like I'm featuring a name sort of something like sort of like Zenithith or something like that. Like a word that just means like me cause success or, you know. Yeah, yeah, Zenith, a rival. Full, full, full, full, full, full, full, full, full, full, Ne-deer is Ne-deer the opposite. I think the deer is not so good. Okay, wait, what's the opposite of trough? Apex? Apex. Oh, Apex is good. Apex is good. Yeah. Yeah. And he's writing all the

copy. Yeah. The greatest, the greatest part, the most efficient, not the greatest podcast, let's say that during this podcast. The most efficient app in its field, loved by me. All right, I'm not gonna try to create the copy for the, yeah, for the thing, on the spot here, Alistair, suffice to say, okay, we'll come up for the idea for a guy who's got nothing, right? He's got no ideas, all right? Now, some ofice to say, okay, we'll come up for the idea for a guy who's got nothing, right? He's got no ideas.

Right. Now some of you might say this doesn't really deserve to be on the sheet. All right. Well, that's the kind of negative thinking. Right. That is the reason that this hasn't yet got an idea, okay? I'm trying to make this thing happen, okay? And I've got this negativity coming at me.

A lot of negativity. A lot of negativity. I've got these emotional vampires right, sucking the life out of this thing. I think that will be a lot of the stuff is just that that snapping at people that is suddenly it's becoming everybody else's fault. As his family just is slowly but surely going more and more into ruin. And then he starts, like, they're closing in. Like the, the, the, the collectors are closing in.

And then he just starts throwing out ideas. I don't, but no, I don't know if he's throwing out ideas, I'll stay, because I think he just, he can't even come up with a single idea, right? Like he's standing in front of the white board. He hasn't written anything on the whiteboard okay oh so like it's like there's a bag on the door he's standing in front of the whiteboard he's got the pain he's got the lead off the pain and he's like I'm just gonna get this. AHHHHH! I'm just gonna get this. Right.

How about this? AHHHHH! No, look. No, no, no, hang away. I'm like, okay. So, it's an app. And you go with it? No, no, no, it's not an app.

Sorry, okay. Just go back. It's like the Uber of... What's the thing that is an uber? Oh my god, think of this uber! Okay, no, no, no, no, no. We're gonna have a 15 minute break. I think I'm just gonna go for a walk around the block.

I think I just need to clear my head. I like it so much now. Okay, that's great. Especially the guy who can't have an idea. Yeah. Not only like, but he's doing everything by the book. Not only is he not had a good idea. He's not had an idea.

He takes a whole lot of like drugs to like, what is it, MDMA? Oh, no, not MDMA. What's that? Or D. Yeah. Or he's taking like, he's taking like, you know, or something to focus.

And he's just like, he's just taking like four days. It's him like just staring at us, sitting staring at a wall. And he's like, and you see him doodle and he just doodles It's just a straight line back and forth back and forth back and forth. He can't he can't even doodle an idea I mean that's look I had a good time Well luckily you did, because,

oh my God, one, two, three, four, five, six. Okay, look, there's six ideas here. Okay. Some of them may not even be ideas. Oh, it's gonna take me through it. I'll just take it through it. And real just, we'll just see what we've got here, okay? All right, this is, even if this is, look, even if this is in a real podcast.

Like, the sketch is in the guy talking about this idea of a, like, like, if you wanted to make this's a sketch about a like this is what are we these are these are people that review they review podcasts right so this is a summary this is the first sketch we came up with a day so these are people who review podcasts the people who review podcasts right and they're reviewing this podcast of that this

about this guy who and they go to his house and they watch his process and everything that that this guy who makes an interpretation of movies podcast yeah, and they go to his house and they watch his process and everything like that. This guy who makes an interpretation of a movie's podcast. Yeah. And they come and they see and go, so what I do is, well, I kind of do like, what would you call it? It's a sort of like impression, I do impressions of films, but first I do an impression of a film that I haven't seen.

So let's say, maybe Driver or Indiana Jones. Okay, I'm going to point out something with this sketch, John, it's there. Because at the moment, it's not a sketch. It's not a comedy, it's not even really a comedy idea. It's a podcast idea. It's a podcast idea. It's a podcast idea. Right, if this is gonna be a sketch in any way, it would have to be a guy who's trying to do something like this,

but who has got very few, who doesn't really, I pick a movie that I haven't seen, like Forest Gump, like the Godfather, like Taxi Driver, or Titanic, or Jurassic Park. And it becomes clear that he hasn't seen any movies. Is that something? Maybe. I'm not sure how that changes it that much, but what about this? Just what like he then like we kind of were talking about then he goes then 10 years on

he like makes another one on the same movie maybe like five years on every five years he does a new one on that same thing and he's like what he starts talking about like what emerges from all this is I'm trying I'm trying to find what the human condition is. It's a guy who thinks that he's going to get way more out of an idea than he is really getting much like me right now. All right, let's move on. I don't think that that counts as a sketch idea. I'm sorry, I lost it.

Lucky we have an extra one, but I still think, all right, dive bar next to a cinema, right? This is a sketch about a dive bar next to a cinema cinema where everything is cheaper. And a guy just reads synopsis of films for you. So it's like, instead of paying 20 bucks to go see a movie, you go in there, it's five bucks, right? And you go in any, any cells, you're like, the cheap remnants of popcorn. Yeah, and you know

I said a lot of stuff that he's got called it from the bin at the cinema I guess he also works in the cinema He just goes through the bins out the back. He goes through the bins Right any and then he also goes in there and he kind of pirates the movies But only through with a pen and paper and he gets you somewhere and it's just a Recreate the full experience, but it's like a bargain bin of cinema experiences. And it's for people who don't have the time to go watch lots of movies, like you and me, Andy.

Exactly. You know, we only have time for great things like this. Then obviously there's the sketch about Salt Lake City. It's actually a bit ironically named. Oh wow, yeah, okay, yeah, no, you made that into something though. Absolutely, it's actually a sugar man. You're right, okay, there's something there.

And then? Then there's obviously, then there's the man who turns himself into a one-man orchestra. It's a one-man band, but all the instruments are on the inside of his body. And that's because he was accused of his girlfriend, she was breaking up with him, that he didn't have any music in him. Now, boy, is she laughing on the other side of her face? You guys, you guys into somebody and says, I'd like to be orchestrated. He said, you want to be castrated? No, no, no.

Orchestraed. All right? I want you to turn me into an orchestra. I want you to put a big old tuba in me. Yeah. All right. If you had a whole horn section. I mean, I'm talking trombone.

Trombone. Trombone. French horn. Sax, alto sax. Altos sax. Tena sax. Tuba. Super tuba.

Coronet. Coronet. Coronet, really? Yeah. Fuck, I wouldn't have said that, but that's great. Then we got the Aztec sacrifices, which is the guys who... No, I just thought you know, no paid overtime. Yeah, yeah, no. Oh my God.

Oh, this is... If you've been killing all the people that you've been collecting throughout the Amazon. How many how many independent tribes? Have you slaughtered it? Oh my god all of them. Oh Well, hey, what's that ship coming over the horizon? And then we have the it's a it's really a character piece. It's about a man who has nothing. Has nothing, has even less. Well, he has nothing and he loses it all. He has nothing, but he's really trying hard

to build his nothing. And in the end, he still just can't have a single idea for an app. And yet he's putting everything into it. Yeah. And it's the contrast between how much of himself and his money and his wife's money. He puts in compared to how nothing he has. He has nothing. Like, people are taking, they're like taking the bed out of his house, like, they're repelment.

And he's like, no wait, okay, I've got it. I've got it. No, I don't. I think he decides that what he needs is a deadline. He really needs pressure to do this thing. So he signs himself up for a big picture event and a big start-up expo thing. He's like, on the side of the stage about to go he's like It's like this supposed to be the 22nd pitch No, he's you know, he's somehow booked himself. He's been booked in for as for the keynote speech He's got 45 minutes to fill

And he's got it, but he's got everything he's got everything in terms of like he's got his logo He's got his name. He's got everything and then this is where it gets to where he's like he's got everything. He's got everything in terms of like, he's got his logo, his name, he's got everything. And then this is where it gets to, where he's like, he's like, seen it. The future, but also the past. However, is the present there? Maybe.

Maybe. I haven't decided. Alright, okay. And that's a sketch of these. That was five there. That was five there. I mean, you know. Yeah, that was five. Thank you so much for listening to what was one of the most difficult episodes of Two

and the Think Tank. I was having a really good time. Look, Alistair, I had a good time as well. But do you think the difficulty comes from me driving? Driving the episode. I feel so, yeah. Well, I think, I think, if... No, I don't think that's what it is at all, Alistair. I think, in a way, we're both driving at all times, right?

And if I take my hands off the wheel for a while, then I've got a lot of responsibility for what happens. Absolutely. And I like the car with two wheels. Two steering wheels. Two steering wheels. Yeah, yeah, yeah, no, four wheels. I mean, if you're taking your hands off of the regular wheels, I think that's fine.

That's why you're actually saving a lot. That might help. Yeah, I think maybe, if anything, if you were having your hands on those wheels, you've got to keep your hands on the wheel at all times now. There may be a reason for that. There may be a reason for that. A steering wheel. Ten and two.

Steering wheel. Once again. Yeah. I guess if you had your hands on one of the wheels and you were holding it in place, that could explain why we're going around in circles a lot. Yeah. Because I'll spin around those. One of my knuckles are so fucked. Yeah.

Um, you can find us on Twitter. Yes. Uh, at two in tank. I'm, uh, stupid old Andy. And I am at Alistair TB. And, uh, Al, do you have anything coming up? I'm doing French festival. Absolutely. You know, with Matt Stewart from Doo Go On. And we're going to be doing like seven nights of Matt and Al Gohavis, which is just us splitting an hour, 50 minutes of stand-up, and some little sketchy things that we do. We're basically taking the model that you created with your show with Matt, and then I'm just taking that. Oh, that's great. Because we don't have time to also create formats.

No, no, no. We're just creating the content. You're slotting into the, to the Andy Void. Yeah. And oh, we didn't talk about what sketches ants would like. That's all right. We'll do that next week. Sorry, Jack.

And thank you very much to, have I interrupted you? Did you need to give more information to the show? No, no, no, no, I was just looking. I thought maybe like a lot of the popcorn kernels or something like that, they could be like a thing that ants liked. Yeah, absolutely. And we're part of the network.

Plenty of the planet broadcasting network. You know, look, we love the network, look up the network. Love up the network. We love up the network. We love up the network. And thank you very much, George. And we love you. God damn it.

This podcast is part of the Planet Broadcasting Network. Visit planetbcasting.com for more podcasts from our great mates. I mean, if you want, it's up to you. This episode is brought to you by Progressive. Most of you aren't just listening right now. You're driving, cleaning, and even exercising. But what if you could be saving money by switching to Progressive?

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