Two In The Think Tank - TWO IN THE SHORTS: 01 "TWO IN THE SHIRTS"

Episode Date: July 31, 2013

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Starting point is 00:00:00 It's hockey season, and you can get anything you need delivered with Uber Eats. Well, almost, almost anything. So, no, you can't get an ice rink on Uber Eats. But iced tea, ice cream, or just plain old ice? Yes, we deliver those. Gold tenders, no. But chicken tenders, yes. Because those are groceries, and we deliver those, too.
Starting point is 00:00:19 Along with your favorite restaurant food, alcohol, and other everyday essentials. Order Uber Eats now. For alcohol, you must be legal drinking age. Please enjoy responsibly. Product availability varies by region. See app for details. Welcome to Two in the Think Tank Shorts. Two in the Shorts.
Starting point is 00:00:46 Two in the Shorts. We don't have enough time to record a full episode, so what we're going to do is we're going to record a bonus episode. I'm being too loud. You're so noisy. I'm being loud. He's trying to cram the same volume of comedy into the shorter period dictated by the Two in the Think Tank Shorts.
Starting point is 00:01:02 So what we're trying to do is we're going to try to still come up with five ideas, I reckon, but we have to come up with them faster. And louder. And louder, yeah. Faster, louder. Alright! Okay, guys. There's a bear. And a homeless guy. And they're friends. And they live
Starting point is 00:01:20 in a shed. In a shed. In the backyard of a billionaire's house. And they're called Hobo and Grizzly. And Hobo They live in a shed. In a shed. In the backyard of a billionaire's house. Okay. And they're called Hobo and Grizzly. And Hobo and Grizzly are mates. And they get into wacky adventures. Okay.
Starting point is 00:01:33 Episode one. You are being too loud though, Alistair. Why? So you can yell, but as long as you move back. Well, you're yelling at the microphone. I'm leaning back. Look at me We're gonna have to start again
Starting point is 00:01:46 No No? Okay Well then stop complaining Stop yelling into the microphone Turn my mic down No This is my volume now
Starting point is 00:01:55 Arj Barker that shit You know what he does? He drops the mic down to about navel level Yep Okay I can't navel level it I have to stand up on a chair Stand on the chair Yeah stand on the chair. Yeah, stand
Starting point is 00:02:05 on a chair. That's what I'm doing. Doing the think tank. Shorts. Welcome. Welcome. Here we are and we're trying to come up with five sketch ideas in a short period of time. But all we've done is managed to just get angry. Well, I haven't. Well, I'm furious. I'm really focused. Well, I'm
Starting point is 00:02:22 extremely annoyed. I'm not. I'm fine. Everything's great. So, Alistair. Yes, Andy. extremely annoyed. I'm not. I'm fine. Everything's great. So, Alistair. Yes, Andy. Do you have any pets as a kid? Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:02:30 I used to have a dog called Nindathana. Really? Yeah. My dad... Nindathana. Nindathana. Oh, my God. You did so well to grow up as a normal-ish person.
Starting point is 00:02:41 No, but we just called it Nindy. That doesn't matter. Yeah. It was called Nindathana. Is that like a sci-ish person. No, but we just called it Nindy. That doesn't matter. Yeah, I don't... It was called Nindathana. Is that like a sci-fi thing? No. Does that come from some book called Clash of Galaxies? No, no, no.
Starting point is 00:02:52 Which is like a big, massive series of novels that your father read until you had like a nerd dad? It's really wholesome. Oh. It's named after the property that my great-grandfather used to own. Hey, how wholesome is that? That's wholesome, right? It's still pretty weird, though my great-grandfather used to own. How wholesome is that? That's wholesome, right? It's still pretty weird, though.
Starting point is 00:03:07 Yeah. This dog, you know what that reminds me of? My great-grandfather's property. My great-grandfather's peach orchard. I wanted to call the dog my great-grandfather's peach orchard. But, yeah. Instead, I just called it Nindathana. What was happening, we found a lot,
Starting point is 00:03:26 I'd had a lot of previous dogs called My Great Grandfather's Peach Orchard. And we found that when they were attacking the kids, it took so long to say their name. My Great Grandfather's Peach Orchard. Stop attacking the kids. Or My Great Grandfather's Peach Orchard the third. The third.
Starting point is 00:03:42 And suffice to say, the more dogs we went through, the longer the name got. Yes. The more mauled the children were by the time we told the dog to stop mauling them. So we decided to give my great-grandfather's peach orchard a name, which was Nindathana. And so then the dogs, by association with the property, were also called Nindathana the third, the 23rd, the 45th And then we shortened that to Nindi Because we found that the attacks were going on
Starting point is 00:04:10 Well because there was more dogs And hence more attacks And so We needed to invent a technique To speak to them faster Yes Which was yelling quickly But also shortening their names and also just referring to them all as a horde,
Starting point is 00:04:30 as horde of Nindathanas or horde of Nindies. Oh, you pack of Nindies. You pack of bloody Nindies. Pack of Nindies. Get off the bunch of kitties. Yeah, Nindie packs. Yeah. And then get off the kitties.
Starting point is 00:04:42 Get off the kitties, mate. Yes. Let go of their flesh with your teeth, you pack of nindies. Unhook your fangs, you pack of nindies. Yes. Yes. Anyway. This guy's a really good improver because he knows how to say yes.
Starting point is 00:04:59 Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. I agree. Yes. And only more so. Yes.
Starting point is 00:05:04 And more than that. Yes. Yes. Yes. I agree. Yes. And only more so. Yes. And more than that. Yes. And let me stress how much in agreeance I am. Yes. And me as well. Yes. And did I already say yes? All right, then yes.
Starting point is 00:05:16 Yes again. Thank you. Yes again. Double yes. And scene. Was that funny? Yes. Did people laugh?
Starting point is 00:05:23 Yes. Alistair, you look like you're about to write something down. Well, I don't know if I am, actually. Yeah, I'd have to... Well, we don't have time. We don't have time to reflect on it, Andy. We've got to find another idea. Andy, did you have a pet?
Starting point is 00:05:33 Was it a strange pet? Did you ever have a strange pet? A lizard? No. We did have a lot of lizards around. Yeah. Blue tongues? I wouldn't say that any of them were domesticated.
Starting point is 00:05:42 No? But did you feed any of them... We didn't take any of them into our bosom. No? No. What parts of your body did you take them into? Oh, probably the cleft. Oh, the cleft.
Starting point is 00:05:52 Is that where your palate is? No, not the cleft palate. No. With the cleft palate, can you read sheet music off that? What cleft is that in? Treble cleft? Treble cleft. I had a treble cleft palate.
Starting point is 00:06:00 What cleft is that in? Is that in? Treble cleft? Treble cleft. I had a treble cleft palate. And a... Fuck. Another treble, another cleft.
Starting point is 00:06:16 I was trying to do something with hair lip. Oh, yeah? Yeah. Hair. And all I got was hair Leipzig, which sounds a little bit like a place where maybe a classical musician would have gone. I mean, the mind was way out on a limb. No, but that's fine.
Starting point is 00:06:28 Andy, there are no wrong answers here and there. Yes, and... Yes. Oh, did I already say yes? Yes, and... I agree. All right. So...
Starting point is 00:06:37 We had three guinea pigs who were called Tea, Coffee and Milo. Oh, yeah. And... And did you guys make jokes when somebody was like, I'm going to have a tea? And you go, the guinea pig? No. But guinea pigs, they always look terrified.
Starting point is 00:06:54 Yeah. Always. I can't imagine that their lives are that great. And then they get covered in scabs for some reason. Really? Maybe they were meth addicts. Oh, my God. Do you think so?
Starting point is 00:07:04 That would explain a lot. Or they would scratch each other out of a mental illness from being caged. Yeah. Two in the think tank shorts. You're listening to two in the think tank shorts? You're listening to two in the think tank shorts. All the same ideas. All the same ideas. Shorter period of time. We don't have time to discuss this stuff. I think this should be All the same ideas. All the same ideas.
Starting point is 00:07:25 In a shorter period of time. Shorter period of time. We don't have time to discuss this stuff. I think this should be like two sketch ideas. Yeah. Two in the think tank. Two ideas from two in the think tank. Two from two.
Starting point is 00:07:35 Two in the shorts. Two in the shorts. Yeah. We'll just keep saying that until we come up with an idea. Okay, what about this? Yes. All right, somebody has a slave. But, what about this? Somebody has a slave. But they're like, he's not a slave.
Starting point is 00:07:48 He's a pet. No? Or the other way around. Yeah? He's not a pet, he's a slave. They have an animal. Yeah. And they refer to it as a slave.
Starting point is 00:08:01 Yeah, that's my slave. Rover? No, it's my slave. Wait, what's my slave. Rover? That's my slave. No, it's my slave. Wait, what's a good dog name? Fido. No. Like, Banjo? Banjo?
Starting point is 00:08:13 Bingo? Bingo? Okay, Bingo. Let's say, okay, this is my slave Bingo. He's a Jack Russell. But we're just really nice to him. He's not a very good slave. Well, no.
Starting point is 00:08:28 Bad slave. And, well, we don't force him to do any work, mostly because he doesn't understand the concept of work. There you go. But that doesn't make him any less a slave. I mean, we don't pay him. No, we definitely don't. Pets are like slaves that you keep and their only job is uh your entertainment and to keep you company yeah
Starting point is 00:08:52 company it's it's like a company slave yeah it's like you're like we've enslaved this animal yeah but all it ever does is just sort of hang out. Yeah, and eat. And eat. And almost like you've enslaved it to become dependent on you. Yeah. So what does that mean? What does that mean? Well, we've raised it into servitude. It's born in servitude. Is servitude getting served?
Starting point is 00:09:22 No. Servitude is serving. Well, that's what I mean. So heitude getting served? No. Servitude is serving. Well, that's what I mean. So he's born to be served. They're like the aristocrats. Oh, right. Yeah. It's like enslaving an aristocrat.
Starting point is 00:09:35 This is the thing I was thinking about the other day. Yeah. Oh, this is the way we move on to in the Think Tank. It's so quickly from idea to idea. Really fast. Really fast. Hopping. Go, go, go.
Starting point is 00:09:43 It's like we're jumping across a lava flow, and as we jump on each solid thing, it collapses into the lava. It's like that level of that game that I played once. We don't have time to even follow each other because it's too much collapsing. I was thinking like, okay, things where, like monarchies, right? Yep. I'm following you so far. Like monarchies, right?
Starting point is 00:10:02 Yep. I'm following you so far. In a monarchy, you inherit the rule of a nation from your parents. Yes. Okay? And that's very much like pets. Okay. So if your parents die, like we never get to experience what it's like to be a monarch unless your parents have pets. In which case,
Starting point is 00:10:25 you inherit your pets, like dominion over your pets from your parents, over their pets, from your parents, and you have two options. Either you can put them to the sword, or you can continue to look after them.
Starting point is 00:10:43 Alright, so this is called Monarchy. Yep. With pets. Dominion over pets. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. King of the pets. How do you turn that into a sketch, Alistair?
Starting point is 00:10:58 Well, it's a funeral. Yep. And then, oh, no, it's more of like a will reading. Yep. And then the guy finds out that is, and I'm casting a man in here. I know that I don't cast enough women in my imaginary sketches,
Starting point is 00:11:16 but it's a decision I made. I know the male point of view a little bit better, how he would act in a situation where he was being given dominion over pets. Yeah. And so he gets dominion over the pets. Is he still a man? But he also gets a crown.
Starting point is 00:11:32 He's still a man. Yeah. Yeah. And then he rules the pets. Cross that out. That's not a sketch. Okay. Well, how about this?
Starting point is 00:11:46 I don't know. Wait. This should be a one again this is okay how about this this is uh aristocrat slave okay yeah so you've got it okay yeah no this is good okay i don't know where you're going you go no no you go you go you got a better place i definitely do okay but i think it's what you were going to say anyway. So it's the idea that someone who is in charge is a slave. Yes. Okay. So like you, how do I express this? Like, yeah, it's an aristocratic slave so a monarch or someone who uh rules over a
Starting point is 00:12:32 particular group of people okay but they are a slave so when the uh so that this person can be bought and sold so maybe okay it's a auction, but all the slaves are monarchs. Okay. They're kings. Yeah. And people are going up and looking at their crown, inspecting their crown and their fat belly and stuff. And they're like, this guy seems pretty good, pretty strong. What's he like with sleeping with the oldest daughter whenever she turns 16.
Starting point is 00:13:06 Everyone in the village. Oh, he's really good with that. Okay, all right. How is he at hosting parties? Yeah. Is he decadent? He looks decadent, but I mean, a lot of the time these guys look decadent. You get them home and you find they're actually quite down to earth.
Starting point is 00:13:20 Yeah, which is the worst. Yeah. See, in my mind, I think I was really imagining it like it's just like a house and then their butler or whatever is a really aristocratic guy that they have to like really bully into doing things because he doesn't really like to listen to things because he's an aristocrat. Yeah, okay. That's good. Can you write down both those ideas? So one is like slave auction and all the slaves are kings, okay? I just like the idea of them coming up, and they've all got their regalia and their cloaks.
Starting point is 00:13:54 Yours definitely has more depth. Well, it's got visual appeal. Yeah? Yeah, it's definitely got some visual appeal. You can get to lift somebody's belly up. Yeah, you lift up their belly, and you just feel the weight of that belly. It's like, hmm somebody's belly up. Yeah. You would look up, lift up their belly and just feel the weight of that belly. It's like, hmm. Oh, that's good. And there's like this one
Starting point is 00:14:10 really scrawny king that no one wants to buy. He's got no, like... Yeah, but like one that's kind of got those real kind of like dark shadows under the eyes and he's quite thin and he looks quite evil and goes,
Starting point is 00:14:25 oh, that'd be great, but I don't know if I want him for my king. Yeah. What about like, and there's a king who's like, who's got like really rough hands,
Starting point is 00:14:32 like he's clearly been working with his hands a lot and you're like, nah, this is no good to me. I mean, I'm going to have to moisturize that,
Starting point is 00:14:39 get the dirt out, clean his nails. I'm sorry, this king's a nag. Yeah. Do any of them come with lots of jewelry? There's this thing where you can put a little bit of ginger up the king's bum to make him a bit more lively on the stage.
Starting point is 00:14:56 They call it gingering or something? I don't know. Is that a thing? It used to do with horses. They put a bit of ginger up their ass to make them look a bit frisky. Yeah, wow. If you've got an old, broken down old... Old king.
Starting point is 00:15:10 Old king. Yeah, but then also you've got to think about how much money you're going to have to spend to restore this king. Some of them are not in good shape and you're like, oh, I'm going to have to get him a new cape and everything. This one's velvet's all intact. Yeah. I like that. Yeah. I think it was velvet that they were wearing?
Starting point is 00:15:27 Ermine. I think a lot of time it was ermine. Probably velvet as well. Is ermine still around? Ermine is like a little animal. It's the fur of like a... I think that would probably would have been the trim, maybe ermine trim. Oh, ermine trim.
Starting point is 00:15:39 Mm. Fluffy little guy. Do they still exist, ermines? I reckon you could probably pick up an ermine. Yeah. Huh.mine. Yeah. Huh. Irmine. Where are they from?
Starting point is 00:15:48 England? Sure. Oh, good. All right. Well, let's move on. Now that we know all about the Irmines. Irvines? Irvine.
Starting point is 00:15:59 Irvine. Irvine Irvingwell. Okay, how about this? Yep. I'm ready, Helm. Okay. I'm so ready. You were listening to Two in the Think Tank.
Starting point is 00:16:07 Shirts. Shirts. Shirts. Shirts. All right, so it's a guy who's wearing a shirt. Yep. And... I'm so bored with this idea.
Starting point is 00:16:19 Oh, okay, okay. A woman's wearing a shirt. Yes, Alistair, You're really stretching yourself here. Okay, here we go. It's a woman wearing a shirt and takes off the shirt. She's wearing another shirt. And then she takes off that shirt, wearing another shirt. Yep.
Starting point is 00:16:38 And what it's a sketch about is... You're listening to doing the think tank shirts shirts ugh I'm not any I'm starting to
Starting point is 00:16:52 recently over the last couple of weeks or whatever that we've been doing this I've started noticing that I don't think I come up with any of the ideas
Starting point is 00:17:00 no you do okay and then you're always there with gems oh it's true I throw in a few gems Yeah I'm like a
Starting point is 00:17:09 Like a really bad gem salesman I've started I'll throw in a few more gems How are you making money? Tell you what Have some free gems Look this one's on the house Yeah
Starting point is 00:17:22 Because I feel like that's what I would be like if i was like a store owner yeah like you can get anything you need with uber eats well almost almost anything so no you can't get an ice rink on uber eats but iced tea and ice cream yes we can deliver that uber eats get almost almost anything order now Product availability may vary by region. See app for details. I don't think. A jewelry salesman? Yeah, it's like people come in and they're like, and they look like they're buying something that's really expensive.
Starting point is 00:17:55 I go, you know what? This one's free. But you can't make money that way. That's what I've discovered from working in retail. Yeah? Yeah. Giving stuff away for free? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:18:07 I can't do it because I'm working for somebody else. But once I get my own business, I'll be able to run that one into the ground. I've noticed that over the past couple of weeks that almost every week I'm like, so a guy goes to a doctor. Yeah. Well, I haven't noticed that. Well, you don't always. But you definitely have a love of the traditional doctor sketch. Yeah, just the structure, just like the generic.
Starting point is 00:18:29 I want to have a sketch show. It's called Doctors and Lawyers. Yeah. At every sketch. No, Doctors, Lawyers, and Restaurants. Yeah. At every sketch, there's a doctor, a lawyer, or a restaurant. Or a doctor visiting a restaurant with his lawyer friend.
Starting point is 00:18:44 Yeah. Or it's a restaurant run by doctors. Yeah. It's called Doctor Restaurant. Yeah. And then everything's like a prescription? Yeah. And you have to take in a script and get a...
Starting point is 00:19:00 Yes. Yes, and you have to catch the meal from somebody you know who gets close to you. Somebody has to sneeze their meal on you. All the meals are contagious. And then you get that meal. Would you like the chicken? Pox. What about the beef? Pox.
Starting point is 00:19:34 Cow pox was a thing. Oh yeah? Yeah. And what about turkey meat? Disease. Flesh eating You
Starting point is 00:19:49 So it's like That's the mixed grill Flesh eating back Oh Wait okay wait Flesh eating cafeteria Would you like the gang Green salad
Starting point is 00:20:00 Oh this is the worst. Wait, wait, wait. Shirts. Would you like the... Pustard tart? Oh, that's gross. Oh, that is. Because custard and pust are already pretty close.
Starting point is 00:20:19 They are the same thing. Just one comes in a box. Powder. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We can make, like... Okay, we need to genetically engineer humans to make pus taste like custard. Oh my god, that'd be...
Starting point is 00:20:35 And also make it be custard. You know, they're genetically engineering... Like, this is so weird. They're genetically engineering goats so that their milk is like spider silk. Okay. So you've got spider goats. Yeah. You can milk them and get silk.
Starting point is 00:20:54 Like, in the future, we will milk goats to get silk. Spider silk. Spider silk. And that will be what, for a material? Like, to create... When are we going to be what for a material like to create. When are we going to be able to get milk spiders to get milk? Yeah. When are we going to be able to walk into a web of milk?
Starting point is 00:21:16 Walking through the forest, you step in a cup of milk. Ah, spiders. And then you hear a spider going, ah! Yelling like a goat. Yeah, those screaming goats. Mom! Mom! Just like, in the future,
Starting point is 00:21:36 all possible combinations of animals will have been explored. So there'll be hairy fish. I saw a fish with crab legs the other day. No, what? What are you talking about? Like, I saw a video. On like a, in a fisherman, what? Ugh. What are you talking about? Like, I saw a video. On, like, a... In a fisherman's basket? No.
Starting point is 00:21:48 Oh. No, no, they have, like, a... It's a video, and then it's just this type of fish that have these, like, three kind of legs near the... Piss off. Yeah, and they have the front of their fin,
Starting point is 00:21:57 and they just, like, along the ground, underwater. And they don't look happy. Mmm. If you were wondering Along the ground, underwater. And they don't look happy. If you were wondering whether crab legs would make you happy, the answer's no. Or it won't make you look happy. You're sitting at home, listening to anything tank shirts.
Starting point is 00:22:22 Shirts. And thinking, this episode's terrible. The only thing that could drag me out of this funk would be little crab legs. If I had crab legs, everything would be okay. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:22:36 And you might be... To drag me out of this funk. You might be... I don't want to get dragged out of a funk. By some crab legs. By my little crab legs. You're wrong. No, sorry.
Starting point is 00:22:46 If you were dragged out of the funk, you'd just be dragged out of the funk into a completely different funk. You know what they say? It's like out of the funk, into the funk. It's the funk to funk crab leg transmission.
Starting point is 00:22:59 Something about that sentence made me think this podcast has gone completely off the rails. Yeah. Do you want to start again? No. Okay. We've got to wrap this up.
Starting point is 00:23:10 We just need one more idea. One more idea. All right. Okay. Okay. Bonus episode. Here we go. A bonus episode?
Starting point is 00:23:19 No, this is the bonus episode. Oh, I thought you were going to say, like, somebody has a seizure. Yeah. And you refer to it as a psychotic episode. Oh, I thought you were going to say, like, somebody has a seizure. Yeah. And you refer to it as a psychotic episode. They have another little one, and you're like, oh, bonus episode. Bonus episode, yeah. And then they wipe the foam from their mouth and say that. That's when they...
Starting point is 00:23:38 Yeah. Foam in the mouth. I've never foamed from my mouth. No? No. You know what? Have you ever frothed? Frothed?
Starting point is 00:23:48 Not maybe a froth, but I haven't foamed. Foam is like a thick froth, isn't it? I think the other way around, actually. You think froth is a thick foam? Yeah, yeah, yeah. But don't we have like... Foam mattress? Yeah, foam mattress.
Starting point is 00:24:00 I don't have a froth mattress. I think froth is bigger bubbles. You're right. Yeah, thank you. God damn it have a froth mattress. Yeah. I think froth is bigger bubbles. You're right. Yeah, thank you. God damn it, finally. I've done a complete 180. That's Swiss cheese.
Starting point is 00:24:10 Is that bubbles that's in there? Is that why it's got those holes? I reckon you're right. It must be bubbles. Yeah. How do they get the
Starting point is 00:24:16 bubbles in there? To get the bubbles in the cheese. Because it must be so dense at that time. I would say it's some sort of fermentation taking place.
Starting point is 00:24:23 Maybe a little bit of gas is released. And I don't think it starts off that dense. I think it it's some sort of fermentation taking place. Maybe a little bit of gas is released. And I don't think it starts off that dense. I think it starts off more as like a sort of a soft hue. Hue. Hue, a little, or curd, maybe. Yeah, you think it's like a primordial cheese. Primordial.
Starting point is 00:24:38 Yeah, I think it's bubbling away there. All sorts of life going on in the cheese. Well, there is a lot of life in cheese. Cheese life. Is cheese lifeful? Can we do a sketch about gangsters? Yeah. And cheese.
Starting point is 00:24:51 No. No? Yeah, okay, sure. Hey, where's the brie? Cheese gang. Yeah, okay, where's the brie, fellas? Hey? Hey, uh...
Starting point is 00:25:02 You know what's a good thing to cut soft cheeses with? This choking wire. You ever notice that? This choking wire? Hey guys, I found out you can use this choking wire... To cut through soft cheeses. It's so strange not using it to choke someone. Do you reckon we could also use this gun?
Starting point is 00:25:28 Yeah. Yes. To mix... Pancake mixture. Sure. I mean, as long as we put some cheese on the pancakes, like ricotta cheese. Now I'm a southerner. What is it about being in a gang? What is it about it?
Starting point is 00:25:52 Why do people like to be in a gang? I think it is because you are discriminated against. Right. So you think that people are a bit isolated? So it's, I think, I think gang forming is called the fragmentation of society. Really? So you're sort of ostracized from some other group
Starting point is 00:26:14 and then you form a little subgroup where the bonds are even stronger. Yeah. So people get dropped off. So people go like, oh, you know, you're acting in a way that doesn't sort of fit within society. So you get pushed into the justice system and things like that. People get dropped off. So people go like, oh, you're acting in a way that doesn't sort of fit within society.
Starting point is 00:26:28 So you get pushed into the justice system and things like that. Or you're poor and you steal and shit like that. And then you realize, oh, I'm not welcome in this place because I'm blah, blah. And people yell at you. And so you go, yeah, you form another group. People yell at you. People yell at you. And then you form a smaller group where you have strength. And you yell at each other.
Starting point is 00:26:44 Yeah. People yell at you. People yell at you and then you form a smaller group where you have strength. And you yell at each other. Yeah, and then you can hurt individuals who are part of the... Major, the bigger group. The bigger group, you know. You sort of, you break them off from the... From the pack?
Starting point is 00:26:54 From the pack. Yeah. And then you beat them and take their money. So, who would be a funny group of society to form a gang? The elderly? The elderly? The elderly. I think that's been done. There was a Monty Python sketch about grannies who go around beating people up.
Starting point is 00:27:11 Okay. So, we'll just do that, but with a different group of society. Okay. Let's see. Good. That's how you get original stuff. Yeah. Anyway, okay.
Starting point is 00:27:21 You just take a Monty Python sketch and you transfer it. Yeah. And you just move it to the left. Okay. So, let's say, okay, what kind of people exist? Farmers? Yeah. Yeah. Hermits. People who are really into Pokemon. People who are really into Pokemon. Gem salesmen. Horticulturalists. Horticulturalists. Quick, let's grow something on him. Soccer mums. Soccer mums. I think a gang of hermits is pretty good. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:27:50 Yeah. That's true. So where are they when they're in a gang? They get together to avoid people. Get away from us. We're not bothering you. Yeah. Just leave us alone together.
Starting point is 00:28:05 Yeah. And what else us alone together. Um, yeah. And, what else do they do? Wait, they go, they, um,
Starting point is 00:28:11 what they do, is, they'll, like, maybe sometimes, when somebody's walking down a street, alone at night, okay,
Starting point is 00:28:19 a group of hermits, will, uh, run away from that person. Yeah, I like that. Yeah, and that yeah and he's coming quick run they sort of act like a group of cockatoos yeah one of them always climbs up a tree and then just keeps keeps an eye out for the other ones who are like feeding on the grass
Starting point is 00:28:40 but i like the seeds and stuff the gang of hermits or whoever they are like they're in scenarios where a gang would traditionally behave one way yeah and then they're always in that scenario but then they completely act in yeah so a completely different way so let's say uh they're like okay if a regular gang is like magnet attracting things, like trouble, then hermits are like two opposing magnets trying to stay away from each other. So that's how the way two hermit gangs, when they meet, it's just like two same poles. Okay, so there's a hermit gang and then there's a hermit gang, and then there's another hermit gang, who's their rival gang, and so the hermit gang's like, well, we're going to be down
Starting point is 00:29:32 at the basketball courts at 5pm, and the other hermit gang's like, fine, we'll be at the swimming centre. Yeah, we'll make sure to avoid that area. Good. Good deal. Yeah, great. And then they just run. But I keep imagining them with long...
Starting point is 00:29:48 I don't want to see you around here no more. Yeah, good, we're leaving. Good. That's good. We don't want to come here anymore. I found it unfortunate that we ran into each other in the first place. That's good. Yeah?
Starting point is 00:30:01 Could that be the second idea? Well, that's our second idea. Look, how much time have we done? Good question. We have done half an hour to get those two ideas. Yeah. It feels like a lot of time. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:30:14 Yeah. Do you think I should feel bad? Yeah. Okay. I want you to feel bad. How about this as an idea? Okay. I was thinking about this when I was out getting coffee.
Starting point is 00:30:22 Yeah. Okay? This is like a voting system. Yeah a new voting system because there's like this competition at the moment to design a new flinders street station yes okay redo the flinders street station so what i wanted to have was like a system where you don't vote by clicking numbers right you just look at a a plan for a certain amount of time? And then your webcam takes a picture of your face, okay? And then you look at some other plan and it takes a picture of your face or whatever,
Starting point is 00:30:53 like whatever facial expression you make. So, and then you do some sort of algorithm because they do these things where it just like identifies all the expressions on your face and gives them all a metric and then averages that out, and averages out because they do this as well they average out like the average appearance of someone's face and then we like we would get some sort of summary of all the votes which is just like an average version of what everybody's face looks like and when they look at it and yeah what the expression on their face is so you'd get
Starting point is 00:31:23 somewhere everyone's just sort of looking a bit bored or whatever. Yeah. Or you could even do it in a six-second clip of what the average face's first response is to it. So it might start off excited and then like... Yeah, so it gets unveiled and then your face might go like... Oh, okay.
Starting point is 00:31:44 Yeah. And so, yeah. And then you get to see that and then you just do the average one of those and then you get to see it and then you go, oh, I think we can't. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:31:55 So it's some sort of like face vote thing. Face vote. Face vote. And, oh, vote face. Face vote. Neither of them is really interesting. Face vote. Well, let's see if there's any other combinations. Ballot. Okay, we've done Face vote. Neither of them is really interesting. Face vote. Well, let's see if there's any other combinations.
Starting point is 00:32:07 Ballot. Okay, we've done face vote. Vote face. What about vote face? No, I think we've done that one. Okay, face. Face. Face.
Starting point is 00:32:18 Face. Face face. Or vote vote. Neither of them really capture the face and the vote as well as face vote. Okay. Maybe face vote. Okay. Well, face vote sounds pretty good.
Starting point is 00:32:29 Yeah, okay. We'll go with face vote. At the moment, my face is a vote for face vote. Yeah. Registering a vote. And my vote is a face for vote face. Yeah. So that's an interesting idea.
Starting point is 00:32:42 Yeah. Do you think there could be a guy who has no arms or legs, and he's a mute? Yes. But he still has to vote. Yeah. Right? And he's deaf. Why does he have to be deaf?
Starting point is 00:32:58 I don't know. That doesn't really add to it. You're just cruel now. You're just adding, and're just adding Do you think he And he has bad body odour Do you think he Could Vote Face vote
Starting point is 00:33:09 Like do you think I think that would That would be the only way He could vote Would be face vote I think his vote Would be redundant I think it would be an outlier
Starting point is 00:33:16 What? Yeah So wait wait wait If you If you have no arms or legs And you're mute You don't think you get a vote? Oh sorry yeah
Starting point is 00:33:24 No I also thought He didn't have a face for some reason. I was going to be like, Alistair, this guy without a face. Well, he's not for a face vote. I saw Ripley's Believe It or Not one time, and that guy got that mold spore up in his nose, and he had to get his face cut off. Are you saying that that guy,
Starting point is 00:33:41 if he lost his arms and legs, would not get a vote? That's right. He would be disenfranchised from the face vote system. You are prejudiced. I've just realized. You bigot. You disgust me.
Starting point is 00:33:54 You bigot. And that's a nice place to end for two in the think tank shorts. Shirts. Two in the shorts. for two in the think tank shorts, shirts, two in the shorts. So we've come up with Aristocrats Slave, which is slave auction and all the slaves are kings. Yep.
Starting point is 00:34:14 And we've come up with the Hermit Gang. Can you believe it? And it's a bonus episode. God damn it. Thanks for listening. Bonus. Bonus. Bonus. Thanks for listening.
Starting point is 00:34:21 Thanks for listening. Bonus. Bonus. Bonus. There was no time signature to any of that. Thanks for listening. Thanks for listening. Bonus. Bonus. Bonus. There was no time signature to any of that. Thanks for listening. There's no time for time signature. We don't have any time in this podcast.
Starting point is 00:34:35 There's no time. Yeah. Okay. This is a timeless podcast. Yeah. Timeless. You can get anything you need with Uber Eats. Well, almost almost anything.
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